How to keep your elderly parents safe and in their home longer | Roger Wong | TEDxStanleyPark

[@bygrace24]

I care for my 92 year old mother alone, without any help. It's getting very difficult. I'm ageing myself and find it gets harder and harder as each year goes by. Hospital appointments, doctors appointments, opticians, dentists, food shopping, bill paying, house hold stuff like getting the boiler changed, ..... I'm in effect running two households. No wonder I can't work outside the home, and earn a living. But, I do all this so she can happily keep living in her flat, which she loves. I pray God gives me the strength to continue 😊

[@justinhuntink1528]

pff.. rough storie, but filled with love. wish you get an meet your strenght.. you do it for the right reasons anyway.. 👌😘

[@telisiabrown2858]

Speak up, get help. Talk to your mum.

[@soblessed4844]

Praying that God gives you strength! I can’t even imagine, I’m trying not to think of what’s ahead of me. But look into getting some type of outside help maybe to come in and cook, clean, and take care of your mom so that you can have some time for yourself. Bless your heart🙏🏾

[@bygrace24]

@@soblessed4844 thank you. I've started the ball rolling in that direction today having spoken with her GP 👍❤

[@bygrace24]

@@telisiabrown2858 I'm going to get some help, I've decided it's time xxxxx 🌿🌷🌿

[@ritabowen8302]

My husband and I are seniors he's 95 going on 96 and I'm 90 going on 91. We have a daughter who lives in another country and a son who also lives in a different country too. My husband is totally blind and I have to use a walker to get around. We are still living in our own home because we can employ someone who can be with us every day. But I know if I become I'll and have to be hospitalized he will have to go to a care facility. If he does before me maybe I can manage on my own with the help. We do need more help. But I thank God for what we have. We've been married for 63 years.

[@plum_loco]

I hope you both have good health for a while, but please also inform your children about how you are really doing. Hoping that they come visit you often.

[@riagolecha4446]

You are so strong. I wish you great health and a happy life always ❤

[@justinamusyoka4986]

You are beautiful souls,very strong and optimistic.

[@NaturalEarthTones]

Amazing you wrote this. ❤

[@meloon5876]

Parents are OUR PARENTS. They are NOT our inconvenience & burden. Watch out what we do to them, our kids sees. Remember, if you live long enough, we get to grow old too. It is a privilege to go thru their final journey with our parents. May we see it as a privilege, our final gift to them in love & with respect.

[@MysticGuardian605]

It’s definitely not a “privilege” to care for all parents, especially if they’ve been your abusers. Let’s not assume this is an easy solution for every family.

[@guillermofariasarizpe4428]

Very kind comment, I’ll do my best to promote this way of thinking within my circle of influence, Thank 😅You for sharing Mel.

[@guillermofariasarizpe4428]

@@MysticGuardian605 It is sad this happens, will do what I can to influence society to act to stop and cure this munstrosity,.

[@ititloga]

My brother was the caregiver for my mum. She was spared going to the warehouse. She repeatedly reminded my brother and I that she wanted to remain at home. During her last 10 days, she was hospitalized. I am grateful to my brother. My mother left us at 93. I miss her.

[@anoodono1841]

Wonderful

[@sojellunjam5778]

“warehouse,” perfect synonym for describing a nursing facility!

[@MaryOrtega-g7x]

I am 84 and active I go to the store for groceries and it takes half a day because I have no transportation and my daughter who promised to help me after I had a near death experience but I didn't die But after I sold my home and came here she stole _$22 ooo from me and threw away all my appliances and arts and crafts some can not be replaced I am under stress and fear senior.service s won't help me the police won't help we Seniors are living longer and deserve respect we have I life

[@BEACHDUDE71]

My sister and I take care of our parents

[@tselinsky6452]

I have a 102 year old grandfather still aging in place in the same home he lived in for over half his life. He's not tech savvy, but he does email and can use a clamshell phone. We drop in on him daily and make sure he gets exercise and socialize with him. It's very possible to age in place into your 100s if all sides are committed to the process. Anticipate, keep them moving and exercising, and always be a part of their life. You will be rewarded.

[@sl2608]

I guess your grandfather is not a fall risk and does not have memory issues? If so, he and you are very blessed. Not the case with my 95 year old mother. She has fallen many times and her memory is slipping, so it is no longer safe for her to be at home alone. And she cannot afford home caregivers 24/7.

[@tselinsky6452]

​@@sl2608 since I wrote that note, my grandfather (already 103 now) had a fall and as a result he needs and gets 24/7 home care through community Medicaid. He can still move around assisted, and his mind is still sharp. When he was in rehab we saw what nursing home care is like: pretty bad! It's no wonder people mentally and physically deteriorate there pretty fast. Everyone has a different situation, and as often happens at this late stage in life those situations themselves can radically change when an 'event' happens like a fall which results in a fracture. We take what we can get!

[@plum_loco]

@@tselinsky6452 Most of all is that he has a family that cares! It sounds like you have several family members making sure to check in on him everyday even with help through Medicaid.

[@genxx2724]

@@tselinsky6452 Are you in the U.S.? How does that community Medicaid work?

[@pettytoni1955]

@@genxx2724 the parent has to give up all of their assets to qualify for Medicaid.

[@skyerlog5487]

My mom lives with me and i take care of her. She took care of me, my three daughters when she was able. Now, it is my turn to do that. I am not sure what my situation will be, but I am happy to take care of my mom right now. Thank you for sharing. Government should make it easier to take care of one's parent at home if needed. We should not forget the fact that one day, we all will be that senior.

[@BEACHDUDE71]

My parents live with me and my sister

[@ayleentorres8793]

We took care of our mom and dad until their passing. I truely belief it’s possible, and it requires commitment, compassion, love, faith, and planning. God always provides.

[@peterk4134]

We were unaware of our aging into the late 70’s and suddenly my wife suffered a stroke soon after having shingles in the brain - the PAIN. We are now both in our 83rd year. The Covid isolation left me as the sole caregiver for a while, the post stroke care being really confusing and I was over-hyper about small changes in her which added to my anxiety BP (sending me to the ER twice. In short, I have to take care of myself first or she’ll have no one else). Vascular dementia soon took over her chance of recovery, however slim. I am now coping with her loss of memory, often as a stranger, she rejects my help, 55 years into our marriage, it’s hard. We are into Home Hospice care soon and the emotional part can overwhelm . The mind has to overcome the matter!!!

[@Happiness379]

Omg u inspire me!

[@gracefulezekiel1182]

Am taking care of elderly people the men is 85 and the wife is 83, the kids wanted to take them to old age and I told them no, I told them that it's more lovely when they are in their own house, this two people worked harder to be were they are no one will be taken out of their house, am with them 24/7 and old people are like flowers in my eyes and I really enjoy being around the old people and it's something am doing from my heart ❤️ i love them. Am from Namibia 🇳🇦, Dr Robert you really inspired me thank very much and good God bless you,

[@annmccormick]

What a touching story. Thank you for sharing it with some ideas for avoiding life alone in a metal cot for our loved ones. I will be 80 soon and think my part is to work on staying as functional as I can so I don't need too much care. I love it that your grandma still called you Shining Light and still wanted to cook you fresh prawns. An unforgettable story.

[@AlexisLynn10]

I love my grandma so much. She raised me and now I am figuring out how to help her and honor her.

[@eligreen7925]

You are blessed to have a loving grandma and she is blessed to have you

[@gailfraser9617]

This man is a such a great, heartwarming storyteller who teaches us well. Thank you.

[@nicolehale4337]

I care for both my parents, who have lived with us for over ten years. They have contributed in raising my six children. Their chronic diseases have progressed in the last few years, and I greatly appreciate this reminder that at some point it will be time to transfer them to a care facility. Extending their years in a familiar place with familiar people has been important to me. My husband and children help lighten the load and make it possible. I've hit caregiver burnout several times, and found ways to work past it. Paramount among them are self enrichment and self care. For example, taking a nap or a bath or going with friends to lunch is very helpful. I also found a way to work toward a degree online. Studying is hard in a different way, but it helps balance the stress of care giving and will improve my ability to earn when it's time to re-enter the work force.

[@sandramaiden4707]

Bless you, good luck in your studies., stick it out, it will be your gift for being home to care for your parents when they need you.

[@resilientjourneys8117]

I have lost two clients, who were caregivers, that died trying to keep their loved ones at home & out of a facility. To speak to their elders afterwards, after they outlived their caregiver, was heart breaking.

[@TH-eb5ro]

Yes, there must be a balance, or it will ruin the health of the caregiver and often their family/finances also.

[@ccpperrett7522]

Those are the statistics too.

[@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933]

My husband is 76 and I am age 70. We plan to stay at home in our condo (we bought on the ground floor.) When I bought this condo I bought ground floor, wood floors (for wheelchair or walker) a bathroom with a walk in shower and a grab bar. The one roadblock in Michigan is no public transporation but we do have The MAX, a bus for senior transport at $2.00 each one way trip. I have planned ahead to the bet of my ability.

[@plum_loco]

You've done great. You may also want to check with your county to see if they offer special rates for Uber/Lyft. In my county in VA we have that available and it's been a Godsend for me since I cannot currently drive due to a work injury.

[@plum_loco]

Dr. Wong is absolutely right. We must also think about our own future and the need to live healthily so that we also can remain in our surrounding for as long as we can. Simple things like taking a walk every day, eating healthy, can really help. Those of us who are older singles with no family have to try to socialise more just like Aunt Agatha!

[@mare2723]

My daughter has left me all alone. I’m disabled and 66 years old. I love her and I hope she is happy and healthy. I’m doing my best to accept the situation but I wish she would give me some loving attention and protection.

[@palapalak.8907]

Get involved with a strong church family.

[@janwalker8716]

I believe 100% that your Grandma is still with you. 🙌🏻🙌🏻💕

[@janeraymond1799]

I helped to keep my mother in her home until she was 87. She had too many health problems for me to manage. But she was in an assisted living facility and she lived to be 92. She actually did better. But I agree, you should try to keep them in their home as long as possible. I just moved into a new home all on one floor so that I can age in place.

[@almar2957]

I am 70 yrs old. My kids do NOT visit me and call me occasionally only, so thank God for my puppy. I have to be independent. I have to survive.

[@theresasabo4670]

Roger, your message is so compelling and your story so heartwarming. Thank you for advocating for all seniors!

[@tsmkong1773]

The essence of good medicine is compassion. Keep on advocating! TK Kong, geriatrician

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Dr. Kong. Compassion is the fuel of good action.

[@monarene44]

The “time” to act for your loved one is when they can’t advocate for themself for whatever reason. You’re not necessarily rushing to get them declared incompetent, but you have to be much more vigilant. You can go from successful independent living to needing an ambulance all in the same day. When my mother stopped emailing and answering the phone at age 87 and her friend who visited every day called to say my mother was “not the same” I was living 12 hours away, but was there the next day making a doctor appointment because she was severely confused. She had recently had cataract surgery and had had an allergic reaction to the pill prescribed for glaucoma and had stopped taking her blood pressure medicines. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks and regained clarity, but could not cook clean shop or drive as before. I never left her side for the next 12 years. That’s a long time to be a caregiver, but she was able to walk up until the last 2 years.

[@plum_loco]

Yes, it is a long time, but I am sure you have no regrets. Once my mother got diagnosed with Parkinson's, I was tricked into caregiving for her by my older sister who kept promising to take care of her, if I could just do it for 6 months, then ẃhen the time ended, she had another excuse, and so time went on and her excuses kept on, then came a point where it was too late to have my mother move to my sister who lived 9 hours away by car. So, at that point which was now 8 years since her first 'promise', I found out from a friend of my sister, that she had never intended to care for her in the first place, but kept up the appearance to transfer assets from my mother's trust to herself. My mother lived another 13 years, receiving excellent care from me after giving up my job. It was 24/7 care for those 13 years since she could no longer ambulate or manage personal care. Due to cultural reasons and language barrier, she would not have survived being in a care facility. Plus how could I place a mother ẃho had made extreme sacrifices for her 6 children, in a place I would never wish to live in even for a day. My two living brothers went AWOL. The worst is that my sister KNEW how the disease was going to play out. She is a clinical pharmacist who works in long term care, and her husband is a physician.

[@monarene44]

@@plum_loco You had every right to sue her if you weren’t compensated.

[@plum_loco]

@@monarene44 Yes, while I had little time to find lawyers willing to take the case while my mother was alive.. I tried to find someone, but none that I talked to were willing to take it on. Plus she is in NY while we were in VA. I wish some attorney had taken it on, because now I am on Foodstamps while they enjoying travelling all over the world. I have a broken back, and they have their health ...for now at least. Life is not always fair when one tries to do the right thing.

[@monarene44]

@@plum_loco Karma will come for them.

[@blessingsaflow4854]

@@plum_loco you are great if you did all you said here. You will reap the good rewards

[@ehbaboo]

This talk is as heart warming and caring as Roger is. Truly spoken from the heart by a medical practitioner that has the best interests of elders in mind.

[@HSassyk2]

I loved this Ted TALK. I am going through this right now. It is harder than you think because if you're not a Dr. or know how to be a caregiver, you are chancing a mistake in judgment of taking care of an elder person. Lord be with me, please.

[@lhelms2850]

Tears. Powerful. Everyone loves their grandma. Grandmas are natural loves of children especially their grandchildren. ❤️👶❤️

[@lisanelke9726]

I don't have kids and I live alone in a house that I own outright, no mortgage anymore. I'm 66 and have recently had a total knee replacement. What I discovered is that my walker can go everywhere I need it to in the house. Several years ago I installed a stairlift for different reasons but knowing I would be replacing both knees and I can navigate the top two floors. I watched this talk for myself because I have every desire to stay in my own home. I learned so many helpful things. Thank you very much! And I'm so sorry about your grandmother 💔 I was my grandmother's favorite too and I miss her dearly 💔🙏

[@thiswelldefense5762]

Hello Lisa nice to meet you here on KZbin How are you doing today?

[@ndevadas0]

Wow! The message is thoughtful and the delivery is impeccable. Dr. Wong, every bit of what you said went straight to my heart, and made me rememeber of my dear aging parents and grandparents. I don't want my parents or grandparents to experience such misery. They have served and nourished me in their healthy times. So, it is my duty and responsibility to look after them in their struggling times. Thanks again for sharing such thoughtful experience and expertise. ❤❤❤

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Navneeth. Glad to hear that my talk resonates with you.

[@lailenglui2508]

77

[@celestebarreda3380]

Absolutely ! I do agree with you. Our parents/ grandparents deserve compassion and love in their vulnerable years.

[@mijuajua4820]

So many do not want to take the time to take care of their elderly loved ones. With all the technology and making sure homes are safe, why can’t we have cameras installed and hiring good people to assist your loved one and if we can help with visiting our loved ones? Surely, this is cheaper than putting them in long term care facilities? He has great ideas! Let’s do this❤️

[@gkava2349]

So, I'm just guessing, but it seems to me you would rather spend $$$ than time with your aging "loved" ones.

[@clairesnyman895]

Well done Roger for addressing the challenging topic of when and how is the right time for the elderly to move out of home - a tough thing for many of us to contemplate with parents coming into this situation.

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Claire. As I say in my talk, "When it is the right time, do the right thing."

[@jerrybenjamin9063]

Great talk, Dr. Wong, and a very worthwhile message. I feel sorry for the several disengaged audience members in the first two rows, sitting with arms crossed and frowning. Perhaps these people don't know anyone who is 65+ and facing social isolation and loneliness. I am so glad Dr. Wong received a standing ovation for his from-the-heart message!

[@lishayost44]

Maybe arms crossed is how they feel most comfortable, and maybe they have RBF.

[@dani323]

@@lishayost44 🤔? RBF? ☹️

[@jordanlever7857]

Thank you for this excellent talk. My elderly parents, now in their 90's, have moved into my home. I do not want them in a facility. This talk explained ways I can make things safer for them here.

[@misskiama8156]

IAM a caregiver here in middleeast Arabs country..if you need my help let me know iam from Africa

[@kevinfalcao8657]

Bravo .... may their spirits take care of you when they pass on.

[@ngonigriffith1491]

I was a caregiver for my dad until he passed away in January 2023. He was 86 and never went to a nursing home. I took care of him for 8 years. I now take care of my mom. She is 86, in good health. I promised her I would never put her in a nursing home. The same way I took care of my dad is the same way I will take care of her. I pray God will spare my life to do that.

[@amycolor2109]

Great talk, informative, caring and great solutions... and you are adorable and charming. I loved your song for your gramma and will always think of you and this talk when I hear Moon River. Congratulations Roger, Thank You for sharing.

[@brendaprice3061]

My mother in law is 102.5 she is at her home and has sitter round the clock Her sons visit several times a day also her daughter ,who lives away Her grands visit when home firm college. We are so blessed to have johnnie elizA Bradshaw here with us

[@mooster47]

I'm in my mid-70s and certainly hope I'll be able to live independently as long as possible, but I would never want to be a burden to my children. If it comes to placing me in a facility that provides care that would be difficult for them to provide without a major disruption of their lives, I certainly hope I'll be of sound enough mind to accept this with grace and make the best of it. Just please, let there be wifi and respect for introverts!

[@Happiness379]

Wow! I applaud you!

[@charliechaplin3383]

We aging ones need to form our own new families . Care and look out for one another. Watching how fading elders are now treated after years of being a professional health care provider, advocate , ombudsman, aging in place expert... relying on the fast paced, impatient, rather hedonistic youth is no longer possible.

[@misskiama8156]

Wish iam there i care for those elderly i really love elderly ones ...iam a caregiver in middle east from Africa

[@supkirsten]

It’s important for us to remember for ourselves that we need to do what we can to keep ourselves healthy and independent…

[@thiswelldefense5762]

Hello Kristen 👋 nice meeting you here on KZbin How are you doing today?

[@kerethat1683]

Same thing I told my father , please don't take Grandma to an elderly care home , I could and would have taken care of her , she wasn't having any form of complications health wise , all she needed was someone to cook her meals , and keep her clean , which I was doing , and because of another family member giving problem he put her in the home and in a short while she passed , I was so 💔 hurt and sad I didn't even go to the funeral ♥️♥️♥️

[@aimee4heart]

This is such an important message and you talk so sweetly of your gramma, and coming from a medical professional means a lot. Thank You for addressing this so I can show my favourite kid before I am too old.

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Angela. I am glad to hear that you agree with my message.

[@cherylcarlson3315]

May I add that it is not just the elderly. People with neuromuscular diseases face the same issues. At 58 I started having problems with balance, stamina, breathing and crushing fatigue. It took 5th neurologist to start getting answers, I discarded all who told me it was hopeless and should go to assisted living if having problems. I am on neurologist #7 and have effective medications, still living on my own with the supervision of a shelter dog who barks when the pot comes to boil, nudges me to take the medication or when sick with covid the second time, herds me to bed for oxygen and bipap, walks with me as far as he feels I am able then turns me to go home. I am an RN in US who has seen people after surgery or accidents go to nursing homes for 'rehab', it is not good. Again, I say this is not just an elderly issue.

[@thiswelldefense5762]

Hello Cheryl 👋 How are you doing today?

[@cherylcarlson3315]

@@thiswelldefense5762 not good.

[@thiswelldefense5762]

@@cherylcarlson3315 what's the problem over there?

[@cherylcarlson3315]

@@thiswelldefense5762 Thanks for asking. Non covid viral illness on day7 of fever, wheezing, utter exhaustion and muscle weakness. Metinon only does so much. Pulse ox is 92-94 so don't need ER which are backed up and not wanting to admit. Hard to be both nurse and patient.

[@thiswelldefense5762]

@@cherylcarlson3315 you will be fine ok Where are you writing from?

[@kebon4318]

Dr. Roger , you made me crying so much.

[@VilmaDawson]

I’d like to see this Ted talk video go viral. Covid was a real eye opener but it is needed even more now, given the long term psychological damage Covid has left behind. This doctor is phenomenal and right .

[@thiswelldefense5762]

Hello friend nice meeting you here on KZbin How are you doing today?

[@ericwong3875]

As a learner, I'm inspired by Roger's beautifully delivered speech on why preserving independence is important in older adults. Change needs to happen on a systems level. We're fortunate to have Roger advocating for this cause!

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Eric. Maintaining function is very important for seniors and glad that my talk offers actionable solutions to achieving that.

[@susanmarie2231]

As a self-employed senior caregiver, I have seen many families who cannot provide safety measures in their elderly parents home because the parent will not allow it, no matter what. No amount of coaxing, arguing, etc, will get the area rugs off the floor. The family tries to provide safety measures and then they have to let it go. Very frustrating. Maddening.

[@thiswelldefense5762]

Hello Susan 👋 How are you doing today?

[@AlexiHolford]

My grandmother was so averse to any changes in her home. She was able to live at home until she died at the age of 97. I lived with her and she also had two caregivers. It was hard. I feel very fortunate we were able to do this for her.

[@Happiness379]

@@AlexiHolfordhow much did she had to pay for both caregivers? That’s fortunate.

[@AlexiHolford]

@@Happiness379 I don’t know. My mother paid them.

[@AmyColor]

Many face these decisions with partners. I will share this video. You are a very caring kind Dr. Gratitude for all that you do.

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you for sharing the video to help inspire more people.

[@feroozsekandarpoor7119]

Thank you Dr. Wong for such a great talk!!!

[@ramonanorris8273]

Loved all your suggestions . Wise person.

[@debraarnold3703]

I like your style, Doctor. All of your suggestions are spot on. Fantastic talk.

[@timyeung87]

What a heartfelt and inspiring sharing by Dr. Roger Wong! There are so many steps and next actions we can take to give our senior population the opportunity to age gracefully at home. I'd encourage everyone of you to share this video with your friends & family as we continue to raise awareness of the many options available to the aging baby boomers in our society, who have given us so much.

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Tim. In this video I share actionable tips to empower seniors to age gracefully at home.

[@sevgican6133]

I like Dr Wong’s ideas. We may or may not have children but they are so mobile these days and live in different countries. I think loneliness is a big issue, Can the junior seniors help the senior seniors? How can we create the environment to let this happen?

[@sawyerramos3113]

I can say, sitting here today, I did everything in my power to keep her home. It was just not possible.

[@robthom09]

Yes. You are right. There are large differences in the tasks required for us care givers. When I was 23 my father started getting sick. Was a bad brain tumor. Wouldn't see a doctor and kept losing functions. Finally we dragged him in, and received diagnosis. Surgery helped a little, but no solutions. Other siblings didn't help, so I and one sister did most everything. Then my mother had a partial stroke and had too take care of her too. We tried to have some family get togethers, but was difficult. At our last one, my aunts and uncles , could see the strain, and quietly approached us and said that "it was time to put Joe in a home".. We didn't, but looking back, I am really not sure that it was any better for my father to stay at home, and it really took a toll on us, I was literally running thru the house trying to keep up with things. Initially it was better for dad to stay home, but we didn't know when to change.

[@viviankregg725]

I'm sure when you were growning up it wasn't always easy at times on your parents trying to raise an take care of you, but they never gave up or gave in,they kept going. Just remember one day as we all continue to live , we all will get older, you may be young today, but what going to happen to you when you get older.? Are you making plans for yourself now while you are still younger for your future when you get older, so you can live out your latter days in your own home environment .Financially you should plan for old age while you are still young .There are things you can put in place ,insurances ect. I'm writing this from the perspectives of a married woman with husband will celebrate our 58th anniversary .Put things in place to benefit yourself and those that you love.!!

[@sl2608]

@@viviankregg725 I'm sure it was not easy on my parents raising us children. And I hear what you said a lot, "they took care of you when you were younger and never gave up" -- so now it's time for you to take care of them, it is implied, out of gratitude. But love and gratitude have nothing to do with it. The reality and circumstances are not at all the same. When they raised us, they were young with the bounding energy and good health of their 20 year old bodies and minds -- and inspired by being in love and choosing to have children to love and care for. It's very different when parents ask you to care for them and you are not in your 20s with boundless energy, but you are in your 70s, with little energy, lacking in strength, with your own health problems, and barely able to take care of your own daily needs. We love them and wish we could meet their needs, but it is a real, physical, practical impossibility. It's hard, it's difficult, it's sad, but it's the reality and it has to be accepted. Your advice is good, about making plans for old age while we are younger -- for those who are financially able to do so. Not all are.

[@davemowrey7668]

Rob, we know from experience that we are each in different circumstances when we face this time. You did what you could in the situation you faced. Sometimes we are faced with a crisis that makes it plain that it is time. Other situations may never find that clear cut signal that gives us permission to go to that next step. I can never judge another person's actions until I have walked in their shoes for quite a long time. It is not like raising children--in most circumstances they are going to get stronger and better and more able to care for themselves. None of us face exactly the same experience of caring for a loved one and we become sharply aware at some point in the journey that our loved one has no place to go except downhill. Eventually, we do have to allow it to happen. I have told my children not to try to overprotect me--comfort is ok, but wrapping me in cotton wool is not. I will try to behave, but I know the unexpected is waiting just around the corner. Don't beat yourself up over what is past. Hope life is treating you better now...

[@westus87]

Goosebumps! a powerful and emotional speech!

[@ezhao15]

Thank you for sharing this story and message with such passion, Dr. Wong. It's fantastic to see innovative leadership in geriatric medicine, where our healthcare system truly needs it. Thank you for your continual wisdom and mentorship.

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you very much Eric.

[@Cabinetmakerprofitsystemcom]

Roger, i watched your presentation "live" and i was compelling and unexpectedly emotional. You delivered a great story, and helped me think differently about how to take care of my parents. Well done, Ming Tsai!

[@jerrymiu5574]

Thank you for sharing your insights and expertise on senior health care. This is an important topic that all families will have to consider and I love how your advice offers heart and care.

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Jerry. The heart piece is so important in caring for seniors, and for ourselves.

[@c2itfirst795]

I take care of my 94 year old father. He lives on his own but I go by every day and I'm able to work from home. So I am there with him sometimes throughout the day. It's a blessing to have him. I'm not crazy about nursing care facilities. Fortunately, he doesn't need to be there. He's happy at home.

[@heythave]

You are lucky.

[@joswong1]

Totally inspired by your passion and dedication to improving seniors' quality of life! Thank you for sharing your personal story. we can each play a role by sharing your ideas so our friends, our families and our loved ones can age in place.

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you. Please feel free to share this important message with your friends, families and loved ones.

[@madisynturnerfleming4418]

Thanks for sharing. This really helped me to deal with my situation better. My 75yr mother and my 57yr self live together. Lately I been very stressed and didn't know how to deal with my aging parent. now I will be more loving caring and understanding.

[@plum_loco]

Yes, we are going to get older and slower too.

[@blessingsaflow4854]

Best decision ever 👏

[@chloefingjudd8264]

Thank u so much for this i live with my grandad and am concerned for him, love these strategies.

[@user-tx9gs5ef8o]

This made me cry 😭.

[@sandrastrausbaugh6050]

This is very nice and full of sentiment but does not take into account the weight of toxic family dynamics. It's great if everything is in place but a lot of times there is more to take into consideration. Abusive parents for instance. Not because they deserve bad care but because the caregiver also has to take care of their own needs. This man is a doctor and has lots of resources.

[@vanessaouyang1220]

He did say that sometimes you do need to put them into care.

[@bettywhite8407]

I wish he had explained, WHY , he could not take grandma OUT of There, steel cot inviroment. Is there laws preventing re organizing elderly people What happened to her own children, sounded like a hudge family, that could not help etc. ????

[@lishayost44]

@@bettywhite8407 He didn't explain it in detail, but he said her current medical state made it so that she couldn't be moved somewhere else...

[@plum_loco]

@@bettywhite8407 Grandma was in Hong Kong, and was probably too frail to travel on a long flight to Canada. She was probably too frail to move even to another facility in HK.

[@genxx2724]

@@bettywhite8407 He said she was not medically stable. Heartbreaking that other arrangements weren’t made before.

[@francescaquattri214]

So touching. Thank you Professor Wong!

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Francesca. I believe speaking from the heart is the best way to talk about this tough topic that all of us face at some point.

[@beverlypeterson2254]

My moms wall to wall carpet saved her many times

[@melissajhaynes]

Great Story, great message. Thank you Dr.Wong!

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Melissa. Your support means a tremendous lot as we try to spread this important message on seniors care.

[@BrianYOChan]

Enjoyed every bit of the talk by Dr. Wong - captivating, heartwarming and amusing! Gave me a lot of insight as to taking care of my parents in future.

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Brian for sharing your thoughts. Very pleased to hear about your insight and action!

[@marieannemanikam9636]

I'm so happy for your spee ch today....thks to care for us I wish many of us think of their elder and care tor them may the Dood Lord bless you.

[@palapalak.8907]

Thank you Dr. Wong.

[@Rochellele123]

I´m from Mexico and I'd like to know why in Anglo-Saxon countries people tend to send their parents to care facilities. I mean, I don't understand why parents wouldn't return to live with their children even if they required special care, it is very common in Mexico. Family over everything ALWAYS.

[@Uce28]

Yeah I don’t understand that either in the Polynesian community we are quite family orientated.

[@OutragedPufferfish]

Maybe the explains why Mexico is a poor country. You can't care for your old parents AND study to be a doctor, teacher or pilot, or work as one.

[@misskiama8156]

I also wonder how can they do this to people who cared for them during younger age ifeel so sorry for their elderlies coz what's the big deal staying with your loved one

[@Coolcatsbricks]

So true! You are so right. Our parents take care of us so the least we can do is care for them too 💗 Family & Faith is most important 🥰

[@gkava2349]

@Rey you are so right. In our culture in the U.S. it USED TO BE like you do in Mexico, and in other countries south of the U.S. Time changed that, and I'm not sure why.

[@kerethat1683]

Really beautiful and inspiring , God bless you 🙏🏼♥️♥️♥️

[@celestebarreda3380]

Thank you for your kind heart and sharing with us your expertise. Sorry for the loss of your granny . Is sad to see elderly being put in nursing homes, loose all their physical abilities due to lack in f excessive and being constricted to a chair or bed and finally die few month later due to loneliness. Of course Every case is different but I absolutely want to do all in my power to avoid that ending with my loved ones.

[@kusumamantony3719]

Dr. You are great God bless you

[@sl2608]

REALITY -- many seniors cannot afford 24/7 home caregivers. It costs double or triple what a care facility would cost. As much as we love them and want them to stay in their home, the harsh reality is many cannot afford to do so. And we, their children, 70+ years old, are not physically able to provide the care that is now required as they become bedridden, or frail and start falling, and suffer even slight memory loss that puts their safety at risk. Yes, we love them and want the best care possible for them, but we don't have the physical strength or health to provide it. Quality care in the home is for those with money. Those without, good luck. It is better to die in suddenly in your sleep than face your remaining days warehoused like a stray dog taken from the street and thrown in a cage to waste away, like the poor grandmother of this geriatric doctor had to experience.

[@vicentedomelgarcia3737]

This made me teary eyed

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Vicente. This is a personal and emotional story for me, and for the viewer.

[@AndreaMenardMusic]

You made this topic come home to my heart. Thanks for the information that I can store away for my future.

[@justin.c249]

Thanks for the sharing.

[@jeanneratterman]

I love your Aunt Agatha! 😍👏👏👏👏👏

[@PalmSpringsDiva1]

this is GREAT!!!!!

[@ThePinoyTurtle]

Are you supposed to cry after watching this? Because I am. 😢 I regret not being able to care for loved ones before they passed away.

[@hojon9237]

Thank you for you incredible sharing Roger, senior care is very important! : )

[@rogerwong5533]

Thank you Jon. Glad to hear you find the sharing helpful.

[@inapalak]

What an inspiring message with thoughtful experience by your good example Sir, must be provided as a lesson in the classroom How To Teach Seniors Technology as a subject, as we can not buy concerns and conciderations on shelf. We should be concerned to care for the right reasons for our relatives.

[@Earthy9025]

🌷👏🏽 Phenomenal presentation! Must share with everyone I know and love.

[@thiswelldefense5762]

Hello Julia 👋 nice meeting you here on KZbin How are you doing today?

[@SandfordSmythe]

These doctors come up with wonderful concepts. Unfortunately they are never close to the realities of these situations. That's always someone else's job.

[@lynnallen1315]

Thanks, I needed this.

[@lishayost44]

Loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. And yet, they locked away our seniors for two years, isolating everyone. They knew what they were doing.

[@originalandrewmark]

what city and state does she live. Will they let her travel to visit you? Try not to raise suspicions because as you already know-they are parasites. New Universal Church of Grace has info

[@maxineboxer9714]

They sure did! In Canada, there was an active and happy senior, in a care-home, and she chose assisted suicide, rather than be isolated in her room any longer. They gave her a good bye party. I could hardly believe it.

[@enochbrown8178]

What a wonderful man!!!

[@reneorth8701]

Please let them simplify cellphone and make them Always the same for the elderly thank you Rene

[@8cupsCoffee]

Yeah there is no way I could convince my elders in my family to use a cell phone, one wont and one can't

[@stydeman]

Awesome and thank you! Your speech has helped me and I'm sure so many other.

[@cherylandjoseph6476]

That was touching …thank u!

[@FierceFatty]

Thank you for sharing your incredible wisdom, Dr Wong!

[@jeanneroy1494]

Beautiful & so compassionate. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@thiswelldefense5762]

Hello Jeanne 👋 nice meeting you here on KZbin How are you doing today?

[@lorena92966]

Superb!

[@lorrainelowes2070]

No one should ever be forced into a care facility, families should work together to prevent our loved ones being abused in these facilitr.

[@pattijones3094]

So good!! Thank you!❤❤❤

[@8cupsCoffee]

This is a sweet story without a lot of useable information but I guess it's to be inspirational.

[@lauriebaker7608]

Thank you for your message.

[@BEACHDUDE71]

My parents are 88 and 87 , my sister and I live with them

[@yvettejirsaraie5185]

Dearest friend, although three months has passed, today I viewed your comments and my heart was full, feeling your pain! My prayers went out, immediately, for your family and loved ones. All of the resources that your family needs, is available and I pray that you are now, in a good place! Intergeneration support services are resources are available at local libraries, these awesome community leaders will assist you. 🇺🇸💝

[@katrinaneal5528]

I look like my mother. Taking care your parents is a very hard job. Please if you have too. Take care of your-self. I took care my mother and it all most killed me. I was sooo tired all the time and would get Anxiety every time it was time for me to go over because I knew I would be soo tired and even in pain after. I had too quit. Toxic mentally and physically.

[@napriaa5175]

Amazing Talk! Thank you so much 🤍🤍

[@queenroopali]

Joint family system in the olden times was the best 😭