How To Let Go Of A Grudge | The Pain Of Having Been Wronged | How To Forgive

Maybe you've heard the saying, “Forgiveness isn't something you do for the other person, you do it for yourself.” Why then, do we hold on to grudges and the pain of having been wronged? There must be unconscious motivators at work, there must be something we're getting from it. In this video I explain what this is, why holding on to grudges isn't helpful and the steps of letting go of grudges.
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00:00 Introduction
00:24 Why We Hold On To Grudges
00:41 1) Self-protection
02:41 2) To Be In Control
05:07 3) Resistance Against What Happened
05:46 Negative Consequences Of Holding On To Grudges
08:20 How To Process & Let Go Of The Pain Connected To A Grudge
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#grudges #forgiveness #selfleadershipexperts
Keywords: becoming an expert at self leadership, maika steinborn, how to let go of a grudge in a relationship, how to let go of a grudge, how to let go of the pain of betrayal, grudges and resentment, grudges how to let go, grudges in relationships, holding grudges in a relationship, grudges and forgiveness, how to forgive, forgive but not forget, forgive but never forget, forgive let go move on, forgive people who hurt you, forgiveness, forgive someone who hurt you

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Remember to subscribe, if you're new here 🙂 👉 t1p.de/2o0n and here are videos related to this one: ▶ Increasing Emotional Intimacy: Replacing Protest Behavior With Honesty kzbin.info/www/bejne/pIWcpKaOqttmpLs ▶ 5 Steps To Processing Emotional Injury In Relationships kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZycoH-Mlrt5isU ▶ How To Settle Disagreement Gently Instead Of Shouting Matches Or Angry Sulking I Conflict Resolution kzbin.info/www/bejne/hn2wZaiOhN-Lfbc ▶ Psychologist Explains How To Stop Getting Hurt / Offended Easily kzbin.info/www/bejne/n5bMqZxugLqNb6M ▶ How To Be Less Affected By What Other People Think Of You kzbin.info/www/bejne/fGnGo5aCnc6VmZo ▶ Extending Trust: How To Tell You Can Trust Someone kzbin.info/www/bejne/q6WwnZ-QeMl4nZI

[@glenncowan6669]

Best advice I've ever heard!! And I'm 65 years old. What I'm trying to say is this timeless wisdom.

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

That‘s awesome 🙂 Thank you! And welcome here 🫶🏻

[@HelloWorld-ii4gs]

Everything you said makes absolutely 100% sense...feels like my actions are finally put into words

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

I‘m glad this resonated with you ✨

[@AileeChampagne]

Thank you for the specifics on how to process the pain of the grudges. it was exactly what i was looking for..

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

I'm glad this was helpful! 🌺

[@matheusviniciusdemoraes9420]

the same here

[@GA-if6qf]

Have carried the weight for years of hurts and disappointments that have run very deep--thank you for helping me understand how to release and lighten....

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Some pain is really heavy… I’m glad this helped with letting go. All the best 💕

[@chicaboo5103]

Because we can't have revenge....no outlet for payback....so it rots inside of us

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Revenge often makes people more entangled in the anger and pain of it all. It's a different story for justice.

[@toddkurzbard]

To the point that you actually NEED your anger. Your hatred. The bile in your heart. It's you're whole life and motivation. The person who stabbed you in the back HAS to be punished. You will not be content until you see her suffering in unimaginable agony, and when she pleas for your help, you will turn your back on her, just the way she did to YOU. And you will walk away, reveling in her cries for mercy and forgiveness. For there is none. That's the rot in what's left in MY heart. And its' fantasy is my most satisfying thought. THIS is what evil, unrepentant betrayal twists you into.

[@portableportal]

Great input and topic! Very important if you ever find yourself in a situation like this. Self reflection is a opportunity for self growth and a way to find peace and balance within 👍🌠

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Glad you liked it! 🙂🌼

[@malloryr315]

Thank you. I just do not know how to let go. Is like the grudge is all that I have left.

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Sounds like something emotionally intense created the grudge... I wish you all the best with this 💖

[@toddkurzbard]

Same. To the point that I NEED my hatred and my anger.

[@esthelaestrada6151]

😢 so true but it's not easy

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

💯💖🌺

[@AngelBien]

Hello, this is nice but my experience is that when I let go this person will act like they did nothing wrong and make me fee like I was an idiot for even feeling hurt in the first place. At least when I’m angry they’ll back off

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

In that case perhaps it’s helpful to distinguish between letting go of chronic resentment inside (which is helpful) and not setting boundaries or communicating or allowing yourself to feel your inner no and doing things to express it (all of which wouldn’t be helpful). It is possible to hold a boundary without having to hold on to chronic resentment/inner pain. 🌷

[@toddkurzbard]

It's called, "gaslighting".

[@apostleofzion]

Such a clear explanation and so kindly shared. Thanks so much maika 🙏🙏🙏 im working on this letting go. I realised why I ruminated and how it isn't helping.

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

I'm glad this was helpful. All the best for your inner work! 💖

[@mariarichards5221]

Articulate snd Powerful!

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Thank you!

[@mariarichards5221]

thankyou ❤️ 🙏 🌹

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

🙂🙏🏻

[@cbligerman]

❤

[@Fira.Diana.Razman]

What is your opinion about how we can deal with difficult personality who makes you feel insecure and uncomfortable in the long run? I am so happy to find you, your podcasts are amazing! Greetings from Romania !

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Welcome to the channel, I'm glad you found it :) Concerning people who make you feel insecure and uncomfortable in the long run - it is definitely something to turn towards and actively take charge of the situation/relationship. I don't think it's helpful to just let it be and let them have that effect on you. What exactly you end up doing, depends on the person, relationship and circumstances. The most drastic step would be to stop interacting with the person, to end the relationship. That has many consequences, and is often painful, so it needs to be well thought-through. But sometimes it's the only option to protect yourself. Sometimes ending contact with that person is not an option (for many different reasons) - you could still do something about it, like changing how and how often you interact with this person. I think Lindsay Gibson's "maturity awareness approach" is very helpful in these instances, you can watch my explanation of it here: ▶ kzbin.info/www/bejne/eYSvmmubg7R_eLs These two videos are also on this topic: ▶ Becoming Immune To Emotional Takeovers & Reclaiming Your Mental And Emotional Autonomy kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKndkIGri6mGoac ▶ 6 Strategies For Resisting Emotional Takeovers From Emotionally Immature People In Interactions kzbin.info/www/bejne/jGGqaJ99pMiaq6s I hope this helps! All the best to you!

[@Fira.Diana.Razman]

@@DrMaikaSteinborn Thank you for such a great answer! 😇🙏 and for your recommendations. Truly, it is very painful to cut people of from my life, especially when I have anxious attachment style, but otherwise my self esteem will go lower. I was very depressed but, thanks to some of your videos, I started to cure myself. Blessings from Romania! You are very good and profound! 🌹🌹🌹