How to NOT Kill Each Other (FULL TIME RV LIVING)

[@wendyjsmith5224]

The first year after my semi truck driving retired, and then I did the following year was so very hard. We are best friends, and been married 46 yrs. Communication had never been a problem when we were both working, and seeing each other for limited days a week, but 24/7 was a different story. My hubby truck driver attitude, my way or the highway was so over the top. I was a nurse for 35+ yrs, and thought I could tolerate anything, but soon realized that we needed to work on being a couple again. We have a large 5th wheel, and learning how to navigate, assist with backing ( he hates walkie-talkies), and learning the Garmin GPS system. We finally came home to circle the wagons, and cool our jets. I had had to learn to speak up instead of clamming up, and he has had to learn to be more sensitive, and aware of his vocalizations. It has been almost 2 yrs now, and we have learned so much. We spend many weeks at a time in the 5th wheel, we love everything about retirement, and it is so much fun. It was so rough for awhile, but if you both grow, learn, and and have patience it is doable. Thank you for making a video about what is not talked about. Hang in there everyone!

[@caniacstevehenderson7115]

My late wife and I were together for 28 years, 10 months and 11 days ...and while there were times we disagreed yet we never went to bed angry. And while I gave in more , it helped solidify our relationship to where we never left each other alone when we had together time scheduled !! Love you guys and thank you for your efforts 😊😊😊😊😊

[@natashamartin3922]

Stacy you need to buy Phil cordless headphones that connect to your tv. That way he can watch tv and you can have silence. That was the best thing I've ever bought for my husband. He worked shift work and when he came off nights he would stay up late and the TV would keep me awake. The headphones are wonderful Phil can even walk outside with them on and still hear his show. We each have a pair in our home and in our RV. We bought ours a few years ago off of eBay. Good luck!

[@andycommonsincanada]

We have now been traveling in our 400 square foot 5th wheel down from a 3500 square foot home for 7 months and if anything we are now even closer, literally ha ha. No but seriously it’s just like we have come full circle from when we started out in life together 40 years ago in a tiny 500 square foot terrace house in our native UK. Love is the key.

[@JerryDLTN]

I think a ~2-3 week cross country trip for two people thinking of getting married might be a good test...that and building some IKEA furniture together

[@jeffbrown3963]

All this really applies to newly retired people too. Thanks for the advice!

[@suzanneadkins6767]

About backing... My husband and I tried him backing in spots with me guiding and it was an epic failure EVERY time. After about an hour we switched and I backed while he guided and we got it the first time. So now, when we check in, I hop in the driver's seat and do the campground driving and backing. The solution to whatever problem may not be exactly what you think, but whatever works!

[@petitchenil]

36 years of marriage and last 6 has been 24/7/365; no problem. Schedule is key, we spend 6 hours a day together... I go to sleep at 8PM and wake 6AM; she goes to sleep at 2AM and "wakes" by noonish and is ready for the day about 2PM. We do great in the RV, she relaxes and I do everything. Magic words are "yes dear".

[@rickhill909]

Always good to remember when we get mad at somebody we are the only person it hurts

[@harterbob]

For military familes like ours, adapting to changes post deployment were key. Barbara was used to being the boss while I was deployed. She had to do everything herself. It wouldn’t work for me to change that immediately when I got home. Forty-four years of marriage this September; we must’ve figured it out.

[@arbonneladyTN]

AMEN!! Well said, Robert you are a SMART man!! Too military men never got that, and many marriages broke because of it! Signed : Navy wife & Navy daughter (ps… Hubby understood! And still married after 42 years to my sailor with 22years in the Navy😘)

[@harterbob]

@@arbonneladyTN Barbara and I are both Navy brats. Her great grandfather, grandfather, uncle, and father all graduated from the Naval Academy. After growing up Navy brats, neither my younger sister or I wanted anything more to do with the Navy. She enlisted in the Air Force, and I was commissioned in the Army on a four year ROTC college scholarship. Like your husband’s Navy career, my Army career was also 22 years.

[@kathleenrutherford733]

Thank you for your service

[@kathleenrutherford733]

​@@arbonneladyTNthank you so much for your service

[@kathleenrutherford733]

Thank You so much for your service

[@adsrentals]

Ending a 41 year marriage...walking away from 40 years in my forever home...it took some time to equate myself with "me"! I don't mind camping by myself or with friends...I'm totally confident with my abilities because I performed them during my relationship! Just because you are missing half of your usual travel companionship doesn't mean giving up your freedom! Life resumes...get out there and enjoy what makes you happy!

[@bradneuman8329]

Wow, we are going on our 41st anniversary this July. I could not imagine being on my own without sharing the beautiful things I was seeing. I am not passing any judgement, but I really hope I never have to find out. I would probably adapt.

[@patricksouthgaaccountabili5829]

GOING ON A CRUISE SOLO IS THE BEST CRUISE EVER, CAMPING SOLO IS AWESOME AS WELL.

[@polgara28]

I have misophonia, and when my husband and I got together, his television watching (he is hard of hearing) drove me nuts. After a couple of conversations, I found some Sony cordless headphones that hooked to the TV audio system. He loves them because he can hear much better and I love them because I can't hear anything. He wears them outside, in the garage and can still hear the TV. I swear they saved our marriage! Great video you two, Thanks so much! ♥

[@LuvSubbin]

You said it. The key to living in a small space - or the entirety of marriage - is friendship.

[@CharlieGraceAdventure]

Ha! My bestie and I love traveling together, but right now we have our own separate motorhomes. It gives us the flexibility and ability to have some alone time when we need it.

[@SJane3]

As a fellow Bronco fan.. I felt that "yelling and screaming" comment! Hahaaha

[@randyshay7280]

Phil, get you a set of cordless head phones where you can mute the tv and listen to it as loud as you want! Happier world!

[@kipeast]

I used to drive big rigs, so I knew how to back a trailer. She knew what I needed to get the trailer parked. We discovered early on that we needed backing practice, not for the ability to back up but to learn to communicate with each other. Working together allowed us to communicate more clearly and help eliminate confusion. Radios help a great deal as well.

[@EarthToneLoGear]

We have perfected the skill of watching others pull in without looking like we are watching (and judging) them pull in. :)

[@josephrobichaud5198]

Great advice! We all love your blooper's and sharing when things do not go right, because we all know no matter how long you have been doing this, poop happens. As a solo traveler, I often find myself doing the double walk around just to make sure I did not miss something that I'll later regret. I've driven out over my wheel chocks, forgot to pick up my door mat, forgot to put in my stairs or flip in my outside hand rail, driven off with my garbage still sitting on top of my bed cover, spent an hour looking for my truck keys that I'd left laying on the back bumper. :)

[@vincetoscano7018]

I get up early coffee watch my shows, I use a headset. It took a little to figure out the how. It is definitely worth the time.

[@stevewilliams4866]

Good advice! Especially about separate spaces. Also: Don't take directions from anybody but your spouse! Pay attention to those directions (or you might be learning fiberglass repair like me). Don't sweat the small stuff - and really, it's mostly small stuff.

[@diverm2371]

A big bottle of Rum helps. Also, the first one to the knife drawer wins... Happy Camping 2023

[@travelingcatphotos]

Quarantine proved to us that we could do full time. We don't live in a big home and both had to work for 18 months just steps from each other...and we had no issues. Being able to compartmentalize and give "space" in a small space without getting irritated with each other is something you can do or you can't. We were not terribly surprised to find out that we could...but made our full time RV dreams feel much more possible. You guys are so cute...hope to see you on the road !

[@kenmartin1919]

Two words, Yes Dear.

[@nomad1500mb]

Courtesy is key. We’re coming on our 25th wedding anniversary and we’ve always said please and thank you. It made each of us to feel respected and taught the kids mutual respect for each other. But we definitely need to work on our communication when backing the MH in. 😂

[@jdroberts3363]

We call our “Alone Time” Free Swim. Whether it’s inside, outside or shopping, we say Free Swim and we do our thing for awhile! We have been full time for 6 months and loving it!

[@mdmale1]

PHIL! As much fun as you make about the AIR FORCE the one thing we do is follow check list’s so we never forget anything!!!!

[@TravelingwiththeDeals]

We thought we couldn’t do a trip more than 2 weeks, but decided to try our 3 month retirement trip in our 25 foot Imagine, but it’s working well, so we will try a longer trip next winter! Maybe someday we will upgrade, but no plans for full time yet. Safe travels to you guys!

[@stevecramer1056]

You need to silence that tv. If your tv doesn’t have Bluetooth to connect to your buds, try a Roku. The remote that comes with it has a port for wired buds that silences the tv when plugged in. Works great.

[@travelingtophe]

I just finished 6 months on the road together with my bride. I think you guys are right in that whatever you have going on with your spouse, it will exacerbate and grow in an RV or Trailer. We had natural tolerance for each other's uniqueness and enjoyed each other's company already, so we just grew closer.

[@sirjasonakana]

I always try to get to our campground early in the day….so I can be the one watching others

[@karenebarker9244]

All valid points y'all! The adventure is worth the effort and compromise. We are also celebrating our 5 years on the road. It's an awesome life!

[@marydelfico8406]

38 years together we’ve managed to go through a lot. We do spend 24/7 together. We were friends first which helps. Compromise and communication. I do handle most of everything only reaching out when I need help. Big stuff we do together always. We have learned over the years how to work together. We use our cell phones for backing up as walkies have a four second delay and that can be seen in the touch up paint on our bay door. After that we went to RV driving school which was amazingly helpful. I highly recommend them. You are correct with right and left. We use towards me, away from me, or straight. Which works for either the front or rear. When in doubt stop. Never do anything distracted.

[@meridethhendry5733]

You need to really like your partner as well as love them to travel together. We have the best time together. We are so lucky that way. BUT I would say the only time there’s a flare up is when we’re parking the rig. Sometimes it goes so smoothly and other times not so much!! Luckily we are able to laugh about it later, but the saying “Sorry about what I said while parking!” Is kind of true! A sense of humor is so important no matter where you call home.

[@shmoobowen]

Great points. We have been full time in a class B, so less space than yours. Reducing clutter is such a big one. Also, figure out where you are going BEFORE putting the RV in drive. Stress comes when driving and asking urgent questions about the next turn. Also, a little personal, but figure out the bathroom situation - especially in a very small van. This can help everyone feel more comfortable in these tight spaces.

[@cynthialindsley5117]

Even after retirement of 23 years active duty we continued to do things apart. We both needed our space. Now in the RV we have maintained that space. He goes one way and I go another on none travel days. I do enjoy it when he is gone for several days, and he does too. But I do miss long deployments.

[@missionrvservices]

Having our own mobile RV tech business AND living full time in an RV, we can relate! Another great video, Phil & Stacy!

[@judykpremier]

I keep telling our kids we got a 42' rig for the two of us so we both make it back alive. Truly I need an office space because of my add, but it is nice to have a door to shut one in a while.

[@brianlykins6663]

All good advice and sage wisdom. You are correct about sharing and respecting each other's space. We've been married 49 yrs in June, the one thing I will not do with my wife is hook up to the trailer or back up the trailer. Tried cell phone, walkie talkies and explained what I need from her and what she needs to do. We can never get past the fact she will point, or shake her head. So, for my sanity and the fact we want another year together, I send her away during hooking up or backing up. Tried trading places to show her, she can't back up by herself in an empty parking lot without a trailer. So, you also correct about alone time. I might add it's just as important to know when it's time for each of you to get away or stay away, until clearer weather. Love yall's channel. And you videos. God bless ya'll and hope ya'll stay safe on your travels. Thanks again for all ya'll do.

[@jjlambert8663]

Intriguing! Loved how you address the "big rocks"!

[@jimandellenmeadows6244]

Left and right are always the same when dealing with a vehicle. It is as seated in the driver's seat in the driving mode. However, you should use driver and passenger to reduce confusion.

[@wcarlhepker4806]

Where were you in Illinois? Great Lakes Naval Station? My late wife and I had our house in the Libertyville area for a little over thirty years. She passed away from brain cancer after we had been married for forty seven and a half years. Our RV was/is a twenty seven foot travel trailer which we thoroughly enjoyed. We had things we enjoyed doing separately and we had things we enjoyed doing together. Sometimes we would decide it was time to do our separate activities. Afterward, it was great to get back together again and enjoy being together again! This approach works!!!

[@markmattson4752]

We need more people like you 2 the world would be a better place to live !you 2 are very inspiring people do not change !!!!! 👍👍👍👍

[@rockybridges4820]

Love love love this video guys! I agree so much that you gotta love each others company. I still look at my wife of 47 years like a schoolboy and wouldn't want to travel or do anything without her. Yes its a small area with 3 boxers but we make it work. We have traveled hard trying to outrun a snow storm and then traveled not so hard taking a couple of days with the grandson. I wouldn't trade this life ( not full time like yall) for anything. We do get ancy on things (backing up, who's turn to let the dogs out....) The again and stay safe

[@tglass0000]

Backing up!!! It wasn’t on the brochure!!!

[@arbonneladyTN]

@@tglass0000 😂 I learned from Lucy & Desi!!! The movie was the “Long Long Trailer”💁🏻‍♀️

[@arbonneladyTN]

Congrats!!! 47 is an accomplishment in the day & age❤️❤️❤️ Hubby & I are 42 this year!

[@kellymeis6684]

This was a fantastic video. We have been full time on the road now for 2 years and do many of the pointers that you mentioned. We definitely use the headphones in the rig, so not to disturb the others choice of activity. We also use walkie talkies to communicate, along with particular hand signals when parking. My husband won’t even pay attention to the host if they attempt to aid us, because he knows our system works best. Thank you for making such valuable information to new nomads!

[@lisabradw6799]

My best advice? Use FRS Radios to back (cell phones can have delays) - and the person outside directing you in is BOSS (responsible). We don't have any drama when pulling into camp. Ever. :) It's been a game changer.

[@josephcaprara898]

Get headphones for the tv. Especially in the am

[@gbmarlin]

My parents have long passed but they used to say that every couple should RV for a week before they marry… & if they can survive that… then they can survive being married. 😅

[@luisagakamovingmouse]

Enjoying being together ALL THE TIME!! Is a BIG DEAL…….coming from 2 solos now traveling together for nearly a year. Thx for this video and all the information you provide.

[@carolynnkaster9457]

Hubby and I have been married for 30 years. We still say Please and Thank you. RV tip: when your partner is showering, don't wash dishes or move around in the rig a lot.

[@brendanwalsh1675]

It's not what you do, it's what you DON'T do that sparks an "active discussion!" We're 9 months full time in our 2015 33aa. Understanding each other's stress level comes to mind because things go wrong! Directions, things breaking, "what's that noise?" all plays into how your day will be. Depending on each other to weather the storms will keep the sunshine in your relationship. Brendan & Lena

[@thomastheys6681]

Thank you for keeping up the energy and the quality of your channel. I have followed you both for years and I’m surprised we have not met up yet on the trail. Thomyt

[@larry-katebrenner8014]

Larry and I are just like the two of you with the TV. Radio is the same. I tend to not need background noise where Larry likes the TV or radio on all the time. We too have worked through it and compromise and Larry uses a headset for both.

[@Elizabeth-rq1vi]

We were on the road-tenting- for 32days & that showed us that we could be together all the time. We’re planning on leaving for a few years April/May 2024, and that should be interesting but I’m looking forward to being with him and discovering stuff with him & our large dog.

[@arbonneladyTN]

Great video and TRUTH! In 2000 we went from a 23’ class c (no toad) to a 36’ TT with a 12 passenger van (oh and we also went from 2kids to 4) After our first backing up the TT at a campground, and the screaming that happened 🤯…I went to the store and bought walkie talkies!! They are a lifesaver when backing up, because cell phones don’t always have service. (Hint, take the batteries out when not in use! They all go in a zip bag with the walkies. When we need them, they have saved batteries) I had experience backing up a friends boat trailer because of the Lucy & Desi movie “The Long Long Trailer”!!! Sooo I ended up backing after that. We now have a 26’ TT and a pickup (we down sized kids and campers😂) My latest addition to our backing up (Hubby has gotten better ) I found elbow length PINK Leather gloves and we can see hand signals much clearer! It has been sooo great to really see where I & he is backing up! (Amazon, they are for Rose gardeners.)

[@todayissomeday]

How smart and stylish!!!

[@rickskidmore3075]

We have been married 31 years as of this April and have been working on all of the topics you covered. This is great advice whether you are full-time RVers or not. Thanks.

[@JerryDLTN]

8:55 RV TVs should have bluetooth earbuds

[@JerryDLTN]

16:12 My 42" living room TV is connected to my DELL pc tower so my TV on the wall is a computer monitor (with long keyboard and mouse wires)

[@davidlegge8303]

Know your partner’s endurance limits. Some people can be go, go, go for days. Others need a down day to recharge every so often.

[@larryandamy]

Great subject and vlog. Your emphasis on the couples compatibility (love AND best friend) is right on. I might add another critical point is that you both need to love RV'ing/camping. If one of you is there without 100% enthusiastic buy in... That is usually a show stopper. My wife and I (48 years), actually get along better while on the road than at home... We are 50/50 road vs home. Our Bigfoot truck camper has much less space than your rig but we love the portability.

[@edwardantrobusjr2253]

My wife & I built our relationship on communication before we married. We started dating in June of 1975. Married in December 1977. We have disagreed a few times, but never had a fight.

[@josephrobichaud5198]

That's great free entertainment watching people back up. I watched a couple pull into a simple pull through site with a brand new class C camper and the the wife jumps out with a walkie talkie as the guy is backing up way to fast, and she's screaming into it saying to stop because he's backing into a tree, but she never pushed the button to talk. Go to any boat ramp on a holiday weekend for a fun filled weekend of free entertainment! I'm envious when I see people that despite there differences they some how have made it work for them.

[@remitremblay2091]

This is So timely! Just about to leave for 6 months in the road!!!! My and partner will need our “own time” I believe…especially as I am starting my retirement next Monday! Ouf…so much to think about for the next week😂😂😂😂😂. Thanks guys! Great great video!

[@EpicYouTubeDorks]

The TV will be an issue with my husband and I., He likes the TV and I like the silence. He wants it on just for the noise/

[@dallaswillard3155]

Great hints/tips. I unfortunately or fortunately I travel alone except with my dog. She hardly ever complains. Good video. Great. Thanks for sharing.

[@vrit679]

My husband and I have been full time for 3 months now and the comment we get the most is you haven’t killed each other yet?! Being friends and knowing when the other needs “space” is key. I think our marriage is the best it has ever been since we sold our house and moved into our 33 foot travel trailer. And our communication on backing up has drastically improved!

[@LiveTomorrowNow]

So true about marriage!! You guys speak the truth!! Thanks for putting your best forward for us to learn!! Happy travels and as subscribers, always look forward to your updates!!❤

[@brucemontgomery8136]

ty your posts are the best . humor and knowledge = views and knowledge

[@stevedenoyer5956]

Great stuff guys, don’t sweat the small stuff. Definitely be friends and like to hang out with each other. We’re still working on the backing in stuff 😊

[@e.rickhudson]

Great advice and very truthful. Our class a rv prepared my wife and I to live in an even smaller space on our sailboat.

[@OGxoKANE]

Man I’ve had that communication argument 2 times and only moved the rig once 😂😂😂 once about communication second about stay in the line of sight of me so we are both safe 😂😂😂

[@lynettebaumgartner6201]

A good sense of humor is really good no matter how big or small the box.

[@andrewwylie2117]

Great video. We just retired early (60) and while we will continue to spend our summers in Canada at our resort for the last 16 years, we plan to spend 6 months of the winter down south. So these are great tips.

[@todayissomeday]

Have fun!

[@cathyaugruso6410]

My husband worked out of town 4 days out of the week. Home on the weekends now he’s retired and it was ruff for the first little while but we have hardly any difficulties.

[@joegreen1759]

FYI; I use TV Ears which are wireless and you can mute the TV and still hear the TV on your TV Ears. It works great for the two of us. Just sayin. I have been watching your videos for years so keep up the good work.

[@thelifeandtimesofcrazypatr699]

You're right about this. I do not think, I could live in our RV with my wife. Sometimes a weekend is too long.

[@candycornett5061]

Love your chemistry you have on the canera with each other not everyone has that.

[@brucegruenbaum]

It’s not the first time you guys have talked about communication for backing up and it has been among the most valuable advice we got from you. Driver’s side/Passenger side, and being able to see the person outside the rig have been insanely helpful to both of us. One other I would add is practicing using walkie-talkie’s. It took us a while to get that down so we don’t step on each other when we talk.

[@leanngoodall7602]

Have hobbies that can entertain you during rainy days. Have a ready to view list of movies pre-agreed to.

[@bobabooie6389]

My wife and I don't full time but we could handle each other in a rv if we did. Married 30 years this August. She's the best thing that ever happened to me and she says I'm best thing that ever happened to her.👍🇺🇲

[@dukelane3954]

A car is just like a ship... Port is port and starboard is starboard no matter which direction you are facing.... Driver side is always port 👍

[@michellejohnson9741]

Thanks so much for the great information and ideas. We appreciate you both so much. BLESSINGS

[@sgtwrench69]

Love you guys we've got a 42' 5th wheel we leave Florida 3 months of the year in the summer to go into the mountains

[@todayissomeday]

Have fun!

[@dmills7375]

Nice job guys. We can relate to most of the items, especially backing up. You definitely have to be a team when doing it. Put egos aside and work toward a common goal. 👍

[@WILDEBILL308]

Good advise on giving directions when parking. I still use directions like we did in the Airforce. All directiond are based on sitting in the piolets seat. Left is alwas to the piolets left. Allso look up to many people don't and don't see the low branches.

[@RMalazzo]

I think that one of the best things that we did was to get a backup camera

[@candycornett5061]

Love your tee shirt Glamping is what i could it my daughter lived in are for a year til she had her first baby.

[@TheRVWingman]

Great advice y’all! You guys are so cute ! Thanks for sharing your adventures and ideas.:….:love your suggestions . Im so happy to enjoy your videos! ….Lisa .

[@werejustapassinthru574]

Great information. Thank you for sharing 😊

[@priscillawhinery9581]

Good advise on the not using left or right 😊.

[@jeffmill6683]

The wife and me went through much the samething. I was a over the road driver for 42 year and after about 6 million miles I had enough and retired. We had to learn how to live with each other all over again. I will say we still don't agree on everything but we are working on it. I want to sell out and go full-time rving, but she don't think it's a good idea.

[@johnnylightning1491]

Well I guess we're taking this in baby steps. My wife and I didn't live in the same house just after we got married for various reasons having to do with her children and living about 30 miles apart, then we moved into an 1800 sq.ft. farm house with 13 acres and 2 barns. Then 20 years later we moved into a 720 sq. ft. apartment for a couple of years the next step it the 288 sq.ft motorhome later this year. We're both still alive so I guess it's working. Ya know I can understand folks wanting to meet and hang out with Stacy, but Phil?? Just funnin' ya Phil. Great advice guys. Keep the good stuff coming guys.

[@moore_2_explore]

39 years together, 3 years full time in 250 sq ft -haven't killed each other ,yet ,a few close calls ,but not yet.there is nobody I would rather argue with than her.

[@KennethLongcrier]

I've lost it just trying to turn truck and trailer around a restricted space. I can't fathom how badly I'd lose it if we lived in our RV full time.

[@denisewalters8247]

You two always act like your having fun! Hope that’s true! Enjoy all your videos 👍

[@IANREA]

Not forgetting when either or both work you interact with work colleague’s or others in clubs etc, but when you retire, and then are thrusted into each others zones 25/7. As an ex police officer I have been to various domestic disputes, even my parents. Never go to bed on an argument. Don’t take things for granted

[@michelleh2921]

😂 That segment was so harious, yes yes yes, my husband and I are the poster child for every one of the points you mentioned. Right now I've been trying to figure out away to get my husband to stop throwing his dirty clothes down in an area which is in front of our bed. I don't want him to feel that I'm nagging, but he bought way too many clothes on this venture even as I tried to convince him otherwise. I now know he has a small hoarding issue. We managed to survive with each other for a year and things are getting much better, except for those darn clothes. I think I'll let you guys tell him by way of your video❤ Thank You

[@kathleenmontavon8630]

G.O.A.L. As for backing up, even when we are there together [we switch off driving and drive separately] , whoever is driving still gets out and looks (GOAL) around so the driver has the site in their mind. Much better to GOAL many times (especially if one of us is parking the rig alone) than to bump into something.

[@ThreeDayRV]

Love the topic! Especially the beginning, seems too familiar to us... Thanks!

[@habigscrapbooks]

Great video! Spot on!