How To Recognize Covert Controlling Bullies In Relationships | Stop Abusive Bullies in Relationships

Call 1-877-8BULLIEs | How To Recognize Covert Controlling Bullies In Relationships | Stop Abusive Bullies in Relationships
Dr. Leichtling discusses how to recognize and stop sneaky covert bullies and control freaks in relationships. Overt bullies are easy to recognize, since their behavior and tactics are in the open for everybody to see. Covert bullies are harder to see, and sometimes people fail to recognize their behavior for what it is: bullying.
Dr. Ben discusses seven warning signs of bullying covert controllers and he stresses the importance of protecting your own space and defending yourself against these subtle manipulators.
Call 1-877-8BULLIEs to discuss your personal situation and start planning a strategy that will help you cope with the bullies in your life.
You can find more information at the following links:
• Being Nice And Caring ...
www.bulliesbego...
bulliesbegone.c...
Here is a related video that discusses how to deal with bullying husbands: • How to Stop Bullying, ...
Remember, bullying is the bully's fault, not yours. Read this blog post:
bulliesbegone.c...
Link to this video: • How To Recognize Cover...

[@anitaboneshow]

Discarding a narcissist completely and without warning is SO SATISFYING!!!

[@ingenuity168]

Right. Take them by surprise.

[@cmmontrose1469]

Pity about the sound quality. I'm 54 and been a serial target, encountering many types of narcissists starting with my mother whose bullying, physical and psychological treatment of me groomed me to accept abuse and chaos as normal. Two failed marriages and three horrific partners later: no more! I've broken down, been suicidal with unimaginable CPTSD: recovery takes so, very, very long. I'm now 100% independent and self-sufficient with my own full time job. I bought a house, drive a premier car, have a pet cat and I go on holidays abroad. I hauled myself out from a gutter of despair and emotional agony and built a new life: no one is getting near me now. Excellent information that I must never forget, thank you.

[@lgbtdestruction.9858]

Claire M Montrose I’m so terribly sorry to heart that I hope your feeling 100%. I’ve learned my lesson about these people and I have warned my friends and family about people like that. And also about the impact they can have on your life. Best wishes Claire.😁

[@mbm3099]

I am so happy to hear that people can make it.

[@animaliafleckhope8830]

I am glad to hear that people can make it, too. Love and blessings. 💜🙏🏾💐

[@pinksalt1057]

How long did it take? What are some useful steps?

[@cmmontrose1469]

@@pinksalt1057 : This is difficult to answer because the abuse began when I was a very small child and continued even after I left home as a teenager. I have never encountered a healthy relationship and because I now doubt myself so much, I can't see it happening at all. Ever. I've been unemployed, with no home, whilst simultaneously the victim of domestic violence with a case going to Crown Court. The PTSD was through the roof! It lasted years but I had to scramble myself together because my family refused to hear about it (which I should have known would be the case). Reading various books and articles helps enormously. Psychopath Free (by Jackson Mackenzie) was a fantastic relief to read as it breaks down how those with psychopathic disfunctions operate. Also, joining support groups was a great help (via Facebook. I was in 3) - this will help you to feel that you are not alone. It takes years and years, and a hell of a lot of self-exploration, persistence, acceptance of facts - which we may not like about ourselves, and trudging on and on and on. Having an aim is very important, both small, personal ones and longer term. And also, developing belief in yourself despite the absence of this from others. Plus the acceptance that other people are very limited in terms of what they will believe or understand, so don't share too much (difficult!). Ultimately, it's not about how long it takes, it's more about you being kind to yourself and taking however much time you need but having some perspective and with a view to learning to love and care for yourself like no one ever has done before 💗💗

[@georgiabyrd6785]

This guy knows narcissism through and through, you can tell. A professional that's been through the eye of the storm.

[@benleichtling4776]

+Georgia Byrd Thanks Georgia, I hope you stopped them or got away!!! Best wishes, Ben

[@truthwillsetyoufree5410]

+Ben Leichtling Escaped narcissistic family. Thought I knew it all, not realizing severity of grooming, and attracted more. I'm dusting off and pretty sure I can rule the world now, but wish I had seen someone like you when I first put two and two together. It would have saved a lot of stumbling, grief and self doubt. There are not many professionals who offer what you do, God bless you for stepping up to the plate. All the best to you too xo

[@truthwillsetyoufree5410]

+TruthWillSetYouFree LOL.... I'm better, but my family isn't. I just started a new youtube account and my names crossed. I'm super smart about narcissism now, but not about faking my identity and maintaining privacy *eyeroll*

[@benleichtling4776]

+TruthWillSetYouFree Hi Truth, Good for you for getting it. All that struggle helps your build wisdom and character. Create a wonderful life for yourself. Begin by ruling yourself; don’t worry about the world. Best wishes, Ben

[@georgiabyrd6785]

Thank you.....

[@Kollin011]

"There absolute certainty makes you self doubt." This is so true and is the most damaging aspect of their behavior. I don't know how it works.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Kollin, Remember, their certainty does not make it 1% truer. Ignore their certainty. Listen to your gut. Protect yourself. Get free when you start feeling self-doubt. Best wishes, Ben

[@Kollin011]

Ben Leichtling Thanks Ben. I'll keep that in mind. good luck with your work there are a lot of people who could use your help.

[@benleichtling4776]

Kollin011 Hi Kollin, Thanks, I appreciate it. Best wishes, Ben

[@Suryaprabhaeaswar]

Kollin011 exactly this is where i struggle they are so loud and clear that after that u have nothing to add i think we hv to pick up the skill to be loud and clear too

[@sanctusignis9746]

www.decisionmakingconfidence.com explains how the brainwashing and mind control works in relationships with psychopaths, sociopaths,narcissists and the emotionally immature people...

[@john2011m]

i dealt with this at work thats why i quit best way is to remove yourself from a toxic place when friends bully the best thing to to is keep a distance and say as least as possible if u challenge so called friends who happen to be bullies they usually retaliate by gossipping behind your back and trying to destroy your reputation

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi John, I always ask, what works? If ignoring gets them to stop, then that’s good. If getting another job is what you have to do, do it. But if you have to push back verbally to get them to stop, then that’s what you have to do. By the way, they’re not your friends. If you have to do other things, then that’s what you have to do. They’ll show you how firm you have to be to stop them. Best wishes, Ben

[@tedstriker6646]

You just described my father. He does every single trick in the book. When I was growing up he would try to get me to think and feel the way he wanted me to and when I resisted he would tell me I was not being logical. He would try to intimidate me, threaten me with rejection, scary stories about how my future would be ruined if I resisted, tell me his wishes were logical and he as an adult knew better. Then, if I still resisted, he'd move into the guilt mode: Do it for me, do it if you love me, I will be so disappointed and hurt if you don't do it. If that didn't work, he'd go into passive aggressive mode, acting hurt or ignoring me. Sometimes he would do all these things in the space of half an hour. With him I always feel under attack. He insinuates, he says bizarre things, he says hurtful things and disguises them as simply being honest. He lets me know he can guess my fears and insecurities. His words often mean something else, and a simple question about my everyday life invariably carries numerous connotations. When I point them out, he plays dumb and says I am oversensitive or that I twist his words or that I have no reason to be upset. If he has to admit to doing something hurtful, he says that he only did it because it was for my own good or because 'every parent would do that' and he really does all these things out of love and concern for me. He never EVER apologizes for anything, at least not sincerely, because he does not believe he ever makes mistakes. When he is forced to, he will apologize, but he will let you know he does not mean it. His behaviour towards me is guided by a desire for control and a complete, utter contempt for me as a person, combined with a feeling of envy and bizarre competitiveness. He sends mixed messages: "Achieve much more than I have a chieved, but always be inferior to me because I am a one of a kind genius and you are just a pale copy." Dealing with him is an emotionally draining experience. He makes you feel empty, agitated, abused, frustrated, guilty, or simply feeling insane. You desperately try to figure out what just happened, why this encounter made no sense, why it felt so disturbing, and why you feel like someone just spat in your face.

[@kathyx4170]

what do we do then ? when our father is the person we should be running away from ? I can't stop loving my parents and care about them and just walk away ...

[@alannakatz619]

Ted im stuck with an ex I am stuck living with who is exactly the same.

[@DrRoberts33]

Me too Alanna. Thank you for sharing Ted. This is my husband. I'm struggling to understand it and I have 3 children that I'm fearful of the results of this behavior on their development.

[@TheGoldnLuna]

You really nailed this... If only I knew about this much sooner. Thanks for the wonderfully validating video.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Amy, Hope you got away without many scars. Trust your gut - your “accurate intuition” - and get out on the first date. That’s like the first case study in “How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks.” Best wishes, Ben

[@blickygotsticky_2499]

Ikr 😪

[@cocool9445]

Wow, well put. Just ended a friendship with someone who fits this description perfectly. I still have to deal with seeing them everyday and getting eyes rolled at me and snide remarks, but man do I feel free now. Was hard to do, but I have no regrets at all.

[@annebenoit6779]

I wish I would have known this 28 years ago.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Anne, Me too. But now you know and I hope you still have plenty of life yet. Go do better with the rest. Best wishes, Ben

[@matthewchapman2494]

Well now I am gonna comment about something that a few folks may laugh at but what about a Wife bullying a Husband? It's not funny and DOES happen. Not only do they use sex as a weapon but using Kids to hurt. Starts argument, screams til kid hears and then says all his fault. Then....if you don't like it, you can take your clothes and I'll keep the house you paid all of the bills for and I'll be keeping both vehicles that you paid for and you can pay me child support. Is that not threatening behavior? Or trying to control someone and modify their behavior and thinking..?

[@BayareaGuy06]

This reminds me of my sister. I'm glad I've been away from that over a year now. I'm as happy as I've ever been now and I'm glad I'm not in that environment anymore.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Bayarea, Good for you. “Create an isle of song in a sea of shouts,” (Rabindanath Tagore). Be the protector and defender of your isle. No bullies allowed. No matter the name of your relationship with them (sister). Best wishes, Ben

[@christinamitrovich7554]

Tani_Leo at least you are doing something with yourself and making achievements. What achievements has she made apart from being a total bitch exactly?

[@ericaguilar970]

Stay no contact, i made the mistake of going back after 4 years i thought they changed. It got worst then before

[@EyeofStormTarot]

Wow...I've been married to that person 35 years. The children are raised and successful. I've known the secret for years (since the first "hit" in '84)...I managed for the phone company until retirement. I am ashamed of myself for not recognizing it as abuse. I know folks think I am a strong intelligent person, I feel like jello on the inside and I do wonder if it's me. Intellectually, I know it's not...but he is a "good" bully and I am embarrassed and angry that I am 61 and still here. I am financially independent...he may not be, since I've always paid the bills.

[@BenLeichtling]

Hi Dianna, Don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t pay attention to other people’s opinion. Turn your attention to the next 30 good years you have. Your future is calling to you. Make it wonderful. Give yourself your heart’s desire (my next book title). Of course it’s hard. So what? Since all situations are different, you need individualized help to get strength, courage, determination and skill, and to create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben

[@5winder]

Ben Leichtling But the heart is desperately wicked.

[@lastfantastics1370]

+Dianna Kemp Ewald gotta see Lisa Romano's vids asap!!! and Melanie Tonia Evans.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Storm Ewald,your story is a heart 💓 touching one

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Storm Ewald, you deserve better

[@carolloraine223]

They're warped and hideous! No Contact! I'm single and very Happy! 😉💖 Thank you!

[@jdncoke2]

i watched this for how it also applies to parents. my father has made me look stupid, has called me stupid and shown me up so many times throughout my life and then if i react i am too sensitive. story of my life has been subtle manipulation

[@heathern4997]

Thank you so much for this! I've had my share of the covert bullies. Twice now I have left my dream jobs for my own physical and mental well being.They can cause so much mental torment and years of PTSD symptoms! I can't tell you how much relief I felt when I found out there were others who recognized this behavior. Like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. Slowly but surely many of my fears faded. Still have some trust issues but...getting there. Thank you for what you are doing!!! Keep up the good work.

[@BenLeichtling]

Hi Heather, Sounds like you got away. Good for you. Trust is not the issue. Don’t make it a problem. Learn to recognize the early warning signs of bullies in all areas of life and how to stop them in their tracks. Protecting yourself comers first. Since all situations are different, you need individualized help to get strength, courage, determination and skill, and to create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben

[@Abzpinn]

This is so on point. This is EXACTLY how my ex was. For anyone who's with a narcissistic controlling individual with the aforementioned qualities - RUN!!! I would not want anyone to go through what I went through

[@gierk27]

Wow, thank you for this. I recently got out of a relationship with a Narcissitic abuser. I wish I had seen this video 1 year earlier, I would have dumped him on the first date.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi gierk, Good for you. Wish you had seen it sooner also. But now you’ll know better. That’s like the first case study in my book, “How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks.” Best wishes, Ben

[@KevinHandTheCatMan]

Recently I encountered a parent that I hoped had moved away from their previous demeanor, one that nearly destroyed our family. After 7 years of no contact, I gradually let them back into my life. I thought my age, and life experience would enable me to see this parents behavior differently, and allow me to be treated with respect. I was wrong. I also spent some time (two weeks) with an old friend, someone that has been very close to me for many years, but who I hadn't seen in about 7 years. My friend & I talked about everything, openly & honestly . . . or so I thought? Little did I know, this person has a hidden substance abuse issue, and it controls their day from sun-up, to sun-down. The manipulations that go on are mind blowing! Some people become narcissistic, which can be a problem. Know your people. If you are a manipulator, may you be humbled. If you are a bully, may you find peace, and calm. Namaste' ~

[@ericaguilar970]

The Bible says go no contact for a reason!

[@1983astrix]

Ive been in such a relationship now, after 3 months I packed my things and left. The best thing is now, I am the one just giving up on everything. Funny thing is, she does not like the fact that I walked out on her. One cant do anything right, and you have to ask permission for everything, all the things you said here is so true. Thanks for the video

[@nickkatz1]

My father displays all 7 of those behaviors. In fact you describe him to a T. Ben you have helped me to finally understand beyond the shadow of a doubt that my father is a narcissistic bully. He has abused and neglected me for 47 years. All this time I wondered what was wrong with me. I have spent so much time hating myself, filled with self-loathing that I never understood. It is perfectly clear now - and will be forever more- that my father twisted and deformed my developing psyche in order to serve his own narcissistic needs. It sure does feel good to pull back the curtain and see that the big scary wizard is really just a sad, little, mean-sprited man. The con is over. Thank you, Ben!

[@benleichtling4776]

+nickkatz1 Hi Nick, Good for you! It was never your fault. It was about him. Drop the lead weight from your shoulders. Let your psyche spring back into its original shape. Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Start making a wonderful life. Create a family of your heart, mind and spirit. Best wishes, Ben

[@PattyNadros]

Hello Ben, For the past couple weeks now, I have nervously watched your videos every night trying to motivate myself into doing the right thing. I unfortunately let the person I love ruin my teenage/young adult years, and listening to your words of wisdom has inspired me to make big changes in my life, for the better, and I thank you endlessly for that. My only problem is, I don't know where to start from here. Things seem so easy in my head, but going forth with them is extremely difficult and tiring. I really would appreciate your advice, Ben. Thank you again.

[@benleichtling4776]

+Patrick N Hi Patrick. Sorry I couldn’t answer sooner. You got the hard part - seeing it. Now you need the will and the skill. Your ruin is not permanent. You can begin again, a much wiser person. Thousands before you have done it again and you can too. Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben

[@riverszabo4391]

Your 7 sings of a narcissistic bully are spot on. Unfortunatelly it took me years to recognise that one of my close friends was just like this. She claimed she was just over sensitive, thats how she justified her rage attacks and silent treatments. She was so self rightous, everything was always my fault.

[@eileenviteri8285]

Ben, You are the best video that I found. You speak well, and you get to the point. (You don't needlessly RAMBLE off course.) BUT! ... Your AUDIO on your videos is too LOW... I can barely HEAR them. Can you please "Turn it Up" ?

[@lizanorelkay7352]

Good video, unfortunately there is audio problem.

[@briant7652]

He is absolutely right. He just described the women in my family.

[@lovedichoreo1529]

I could write a book about this subject

[@Evajeanfreedom]

You should do it ☺ I'm writing a book as we speak x

[@Echo-o-o]

You sure know your stuff. You are so clear. And clearly authentic, and kind. I imagine you have earned your clarity, have stories to tell. It is hard to accept that what is really running the show, behind the smokescreens of this type of person, is just extreme selfishness. The lack of empathy is scary to realize. Anyway, you are the best. Thank you.

[@BenLeichtling]

Hi Lisa, Glad you know also. They use the same patterns so I’ve learned to create effective responses. Hope you got away. And learned to recognize the early warning signs so you don’t get sucked in next time. Also that you make the rest of your life absolutely wonderful. Best wishes, Ben

[@BenLeichtling]

Hi Kim, Sorry, I couldn’t find most of your comment so please try again. The keys are: 1. Knowing how you want to be treated. 2. Not settling for less; allowing nothing less in your personal space. 3. When he changes, recognizing the early warning signs of sneaky bullies. 4. He either changes rapidly (no debates, no blame) or you get him gone; no matter how much you “love” him. Hope you cleaned the trash out of your space. Best wishes, Ben

[@Hugo411]

This is the Best 6 Minutes I have spent in my Entire Life.

[@BenLeichtling]

Hi Gissie, You’re in a tough spot so you’ll have to work hard to get out of it. Be brave and strong. Be smart. Get a good lawyer. Don’t count on justice from school administrators or police or anyone else because you’re righteous. Learn how to make your case in a way that wins. Best wishes, Ben

[@benleichtling4776]

***** Hi Olivewhite1, Good for you. That’s the right answer: move away and make a rich, full, wonderful life for yourself. Best wishes, Ben

[@maxbath9133]

Ben Leichtling hi Ben, that video is amazing. you have literally Elaine my step father to a T. I'm based in the UK and would like to call you. do you have Skype. or a can call you from an online provider

[@MsBonsai2010]

Hmmm, sounds like my husband. I will definitely be calling that number ASAP. Thank you for posting.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Random, I look forward to talking. Don’t live the rest of your life in mental, emotional and maybe physical pain. Get free and make a wonderful life. Best wishes Ben

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Stephanie Harris,you are too beautiful 🌺🥀🥀🌹🌷🥀🌷🥀🌷🥀🌺to be with such man

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Stephanie Harris, you deserve a good man

[@b1aKt]

VERY SMART MAN.

[@robertmatheson2183]

For years I realized there was something wrong with my spouse. It sent a chill down my spine when I realized you were describing my wife to a tee

[@maxine9667]

thank you for taking your time to make this video

[@lioydwilliams1850]

maxine,hope you are with a good man!

[@SunnClouds]

You bring such valuable, much needed validation and clarity. Thank you, sincerely.

[@davidgrom7836]

Holy crap,you have just described my 17 year relationship with my now freshly ex wife. Thank you sooo much for this video. I have watched ALOT of content on this subject,but this was like you were talking directly into my skull in the best way. I FINALLY feel like i am not crazy. Covert bully narcissists are the worst kind.

[@clonthepathtoapath2389]

I was completely and utterly taken advantage of, and all promises that he made he broke them. I am ashamed of who I became in that relationship trying to hold on to something he was not ready to enter dialogue or stay faithful to. But Im tired of this "us and them" aproach. I became the most viscious person and I cried all the way through until i finally gave up. You could be telling my story. Because I became a lot like this. I was so attatched to the dream that I thought was us. I excused all the behavior - turned it against my self. But I faught - to save us. Im so fed up feeling like although I GAVE everything - expecting something in return - makes me a narcicist and a bully - I was being used and I faught to heal and cure us. And in doing that - I overstepped every boundry there was. Something was off - and I started to set his lies into light and to break his shield and confront him with every bloody self illussion he was trying to sell me. He had NOTHING - and I was discarded and blamed for being a controlling, emotionally unstable being. Yes I wanted do destroy his pompous ego - for the pompous prick he turned out to be. For the superiority this person felt over my emotions. For all the people whos heart he walks all over claiming victim status. NO one makes me a loser. And this video has no right in breaking my confidence. Try a two sider for a change. Stop being the victim yall and start being human. We are all capeable of the sort of behavior mentioned above. We fight for what we love - and sometimes we lose anyway. I won't lose the lesson - and relationships are sometimes just poizonous.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi on the path, So sorry you were fooled by words and lost yourself. But so glad you’re back. I wasn’t trying to make you a victim. You were a target 9not a victim) and you learned a lot the hard way before you got free. Good for you! Best wishes, Ben

[@rw5943]

It's nice to not have to be constantly looking over one's shoulder or preparing for an attack from one of these saddos when you walk away 😃

[@mymcoatesjourney8849]

I am in the black hole, stuck financially & emotionally with a narc parent due to unsustainable income for 8+ years. I've had no choice but to move back in with them after needing to sell home. I can't walk away as much as I NEED to. Other parent is a psychologist and slightly narc, but not as bad, so I am quite aware of this "pain" driven craziness. But I am very STUCK, and have been for 7 years. At this point due to a few issues, I have nothing left financially. I would be homeless if I walk. I have no-one to lean on BUT the one narc parent. FUN FUN!

[@benleichtling4776]

+MYMCoatesJourney Hi MYMCoatesJourney, You sound really stuck. So you endure while you carry out a plan to get free financially and physically. No matter how hard. No matter how long. And don’t make the same mistakes next time. Best wishes, Ben

[@witchreturns2263]

You seem like you are lacking independency and it comes from living with parents at maturity. So, get a job to support you in another city, almost any job and a rent. After that, start seeking for your dream job or one that fits you best with better pay. While working, go out to events and join organizations to meet people, make friends and so on. Staying and crying won't help you. Only you can help yourself! In 1-2 years you will build the life you desire.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Witch, Exactly. If it’s hard, so what? Do the hard. Best wishes, Ben

[@dlwatib]

You just described my mother.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi dlwatib, So sorry. Now you have to stay strong and determined. Plan in secret so you can get away. No matter how hard. No matter how long. Let nothing crush you. Best wishes, Ben

[@siddhantbhartee123]

You're awesome, Ben. I've been bullied a lot, subtly ,by women. I am learning to stand my ground, identify them and remove them from my life. My mother has been a really big bully in my life but now I'm giving her a taste of her own medicine. However, if i need help in the future, I'll call u. i live in india.

[@Ski7440]

My sister and my grown up daughter are just as he describes . My daughter had just moved out ... Thank god. Lovely her dearly, but can't cope with her living under my roof any longer .

[@francieweston9489]

I am 54 yrs old and was raised by a narcissistic father and have an older sister who has followed in his foot steps but taken abuse to a whole new level. Everything you say is so true. When my father passed I found the strength to walk away from my horribly abusive sister. She tries to keep in contact but I know she'll never change, it suits her to be the way she is. I have had most of my life taken from me due to these controllers but am standing strong and feeling good due to these wonderful videos. I'm proof it can be done. Thank you.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Francie, Good for you! Create a wonderful life; one that will thrill your soul. Since all situations are different, you will need individualized help to get strength, courage, determination and skill, and to create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben

[@Keskinkilicnr1]

There are only two ways to deal with narcisst bullies: Either you get away or show them aggression and violence. If they fear you, they will respect you. You have to break their ego and personality without any guilt feelings. In my experience it works very well. You have to develop sadistic behaviors against narcisst bullies. They smell it and disappear like rats.

[@bjcocola]

Oh my goodness...This is exactly what I am going through!!! Its been like being in hell! I have said I will not accept anymore of the horrid name calling evilness. Everything you said is what he is doing to me. I have cried so many tears, but I have self isolated and will not be around him unless it stops. He says I am to blame. I have in the past let it go.. as he said I should now. No apologies for the things he has said, just to get over it. I will not take it and He Needs Help!! He is 56 years old.. I'm sure its been a pattern and his ex wife took it. I need help :(

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi BJ, Of course it’s a pattern. Don’t argue or debate about who’s right. Don’t try to psychoanalyze or understand him so you can keep enduring the verbal beatings. Get bullying abusers out of your personal space. Don’t even discuss blame or fault. Protect your space; allow in only those who behave the way you want. “Create an isle of song in a sea of shouts.” Rabindranath Tagore. Since all situations are different, you need individualized help to get strength, courage, determination and skill, and to create and carry out an effective plan to stay away. Isolate from him; create a wonderful life elsewhere. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben

[@lioydwilliams1850]

bjcocola, you deserve better

[@marycatherineann5624]

Wow you are spot on! My bully will cut me down with anger and spite, but if I stop talking to her I've broken her heart!

[@Varykino1917]

Excellent talk! Thank you - it is so wonderful that are people in the know and can advise others with such expertise! It really takes the sting away when you have a narcissistic bully in your life!

[@BenLeichtling]

Hi Varykno, I imagine you have quite a story. Plan in secret to get away. No matter how long, no matter how hard. What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben

[@loualbino5536]

The message I get from all these psa videos is that there shouldn't be any boundaries and respect in a relationship. I particularly get upset when I get called an abusive boyfriend simply because I refuse to allow my girlfriend to hang out with men. Please forgive me for not being an idiot. I'm just glad I have a woman who feels the same way I do. Can you explain the point of hanging out with members of the opposite sex when you have a significant other? The divorce/breakup statistics leads me to believe that I'm not in the wrong side.

[@SPLIFBEATZ]

lou Albino you are controlling period.

[@volocano1]

I have a sister whom I have labelled a sociopathic narcissist and she has split our family. You can only protect yourself and do your best. Recently I have started a job and have a narcissistic boss and co-worker and they work together to bully the rest of us. The department I work in has four people and has gone so many many employees because of these two teaming up to bully everyone. I am trying to hang in there, detach and find another job in the company. You can't change a narcissist. Thank you so very much for this video! I am heading over to your website now to find some encouragement.

[@BenLeichtling]

Hi Volocano, You’re absolutely right: you can only do your best. And get away!!!!! Sounds like lots of narcissists in your space. You might be stuck or you might be able to change some things and make your space less of a fight. Since all situations are different, you need individualized help to get strength, courage, determination and skill, and to create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! So keep fighting to get free. Your future is calling to you to make it wonderful! Best wishes, Ben

[@Keskinkilicnr1]

There are only two ways to deal with narcisst bullies: Either you get away or show them aggression and violence. If they fear you, they will respect you. You have to break their ego and personality without any guilt feelings.

[@calsitup]

Thank you Ben as you say it's really about what behaviour you want in your space without any need to judge anyone. I would never have known after one date it really took about two years because we just met up on dates. It was only after we started living together that I really saw what she was like and also finding out about her mother.

[@benleichtling4776]

+calsitup Hi Calsitup, Glad you found out. Now learn the Early Warning Signs of Sneaky Bullies. I have no problem with judging what I want and what I don’t, with deciding what to let in my environment and what to keep out. I think that’s called discernment. Best wishes, Ben

[@beverleyjohnson5419]

It is only after leaving this controlling bully, that I can see how pathetic he really was.

[@BenLeichtling]

Hi Beverly, Glad you got away. Now get help reading the early warning signs in them and in what attracts you so you automatically keep far away right at the beginning. Best wishes, Ben

[@Bella-cz6od]

My adult son bullies me. I'm moving out-of-state and not letting anyone know where I live. I'm 63 and it shouldn't have come to this. I didn't know it would get this bad. He is such a charmer and so sneaky that no one suspects him of anything. Can't believe I'm in this situation. Don't wait for someone to get better........they don't, and it is not your fault.

[@KarinBretz-lx6yv]

He can and he will find you on the internet. And get your new information. It's so easy nowadays . You can find anyone now . Move to a retirement community . That way you'll be protected . The community will protect you . They are gated . And have a big percentage of retired cops & other retired law enforcement living in them . I know from experience ! You will be protected by your neighbors and the corporate owners of the retirement community . Like del Webb or other big huge names .

[@Suryaprabhaeaswar]

i have come a across such a manipulator who has amazing ability to corner you any way you try to escape still struggling with it ..its a so called friend !!

[@jamiesimko]

Thank you so much for sharing this, Ben.

[@inquisitorchristopher8527]

my ex bf controlled me so much.... threatened me if I didn't do things his way, guilt tripped me, even after we broke up, he kept me attached.... wouldn't let me move on. Ugh.... and he'd say hurtful things and I shouldn't be upset.

[@SundayBlues555]

You described my sibling's personalities. I feel like I am walking on eggshells when around them. The craziest thing is that they take up for each other and are afraid to admit each others faults.

[@mariamkinen8036]

Whoever they may be, anything they do from now on , is their loss. N theirs only. I direct this to my family members. We make a difference in our one -time chance for a happy life.

[@SassyMrsK]

Thank you so much for this video. Been going through this for 13 years.

[@scoobydog411]

I had a outdoor job. I told them I can work 12 hours a day. I worked in the heat , cold , rainy days. That was not good enough. They told me to work 14 hours a days or more. One day I worked from 6 am to 1 am the next day, they said I could sleep in that morning. By 7am they were calling me to get back to work. After 5 months I gave my two week notice to quit. The company was surprised that I would quit. Almost no company cares about you. They all want to own you. I'm planning for a vacation trip in one week. So I can't start a new job till I get back, because they won't let me off.

[@msm.3140]

Hello Dr. L I want to thank you for sharing you professional knowledge on this painful subject. My last relationship was my first time dealing with a narcissist. He was my first love also, I never knew what hit me. First came the love bombs and down hill from there. So greatful that I am no longer with him. Thank you so much.😌

[@Bulgarianroses1969]

What if it's an elderly parent whose been abusive all your life and keeps trying to pull you under the surface with them... how do you breakup with your family?

[@benleichtling4776]

+Bulgarianroses1969 Hi Bulgarianroses, Terrible situation. It will never get better if you try to please her. No easy solution and you know the two choices: 1. Bear it for the sake of the old culture that was beaten into you by someone who wanted to use you as a slave. 2. Protect your personal space. Don’t let a toxic polluter dump her poison. Protect yourself. Create a better life. Get free, no matter how hard. Find helpers and allies to support the new culture your Spirit hungers for. Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben

[@DiscoQuinn]

Thank you for this amazing video! You hit the hammer on the nail there. I’m encountering a similar situation at work right now but this gave me hope again!

[@brendasullivan4442]

Every time I watch a video or read something about narcissism, it hits the nail right on the head..I've noticed he will criticize everyone! And I agree completely with every you said..I just shake my head

[@BenLeichtling]

Hi Brenda, Good for you. Hope you can or have moved on so the rest of your life is absolutely wonderful. Learn to recognize the early warning signs and how to respond effectively - whether he likes it or not. Best wishes, Ben

[@JohnSmith....]

I believe this behavior is enabled by bad parenting and poor choices in life.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi John, Good psychoanalysis but how does that help us deal with the abuse? That’s why I don’t focus on the analysis. I focus on how to stop the behavior or get away. Best wishes, Ben

[@JohnSmith....]

Hi Ben, Thanks for replying to my comment, in a lot of cases by knowing or meet the parents of a person you can recognize a covert controlling or even more than that. Since our peers is the closest people to us. The coverts I have encounter seemed that they copied the agression of the parent as a defence mechanism to survive. So it is crucial to find that as soon as possible before getting married or associate with them. If someone has the opportunity to meet or experience the environment that they grew.

[@benleichtling4776]

John Smith Hi John, I agree. The important thing is testing them. If they exhibit the Early Warning Signs of being sneaky, stealthy, covert bullies, get away. Simple as that. Whether you can analyze them or not. Best wishes, Ben

[@brianeddy41]

Thank you so much!

[@mariamakinen2651]

I have lived all of this with my f.f= father whom I don't see as one.He was never at fault n you,d best swallow any opinion you might hold. I need a safe plan out. I had no idea the father of my daughter was another narc.Emm is an adult n I wish a new life.Safe.thanking

[@ginny0015]

It's even more insidious than your video conveys.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Ginny, Of course. Don’t let the insidious get you down. Listen to your Spirit. Get free - no matter how hard, no matter how long! Best wishes, Ben

[@ginny0015]

Ben Leichtling Thanks Ben!

[@MAMP]

Spot on! I had a girlfriend 3 years ago that I met while I was coincidentally in therapy for getting molested by an older boy when I was 9 years old. When we first started dating, I trusted her and I told her I was in therapy for sex abuse. She first started her attack/control by repeatedly asking me if I was gay. When I replied "no!", she would follow up with "are you sure???". This eventually progressed into her making penis jokes to me, then culminated with her calling me "gay" in an accusatory manner at a party in front of all of our friends. The end result for me was a lot of sexual confusion, and also HOCD/Gay OCD symptoms, which took about a year and a half to remediate using Exposure.Response.Prevention techniques on a weekly basis. I'm lucky that I got away from her with just that and not more damage. This relationship all happened in the span of 4 months. She had Borderline Personality Disorder/Narcissist, I found out later. Really bad stuff all around. By far the most traumatic experience of my life. Arguably worse than the original sexual abuse that I was in therapy for in the first place.

[@benleichtling4776]

+lilbromarky1 Hi Marky, Big lesson. The first time someone dumps toxic waste on your Isle of Song, get rid of them! You need to learn a lot about the real meaning of “trust” and also the Early Warning Signs of Bullies - especially Borderlines. Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben

[@MsBonsai2010]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that & I'm glad you're free of that person. Now I just need to get my situation lined up to live a better, bully-free life.

[@t4705mb6]

"Bullies"?? Well then, how do I *get rid of* politicians, secret societies, captains of industry and clerics?

[@5winder]

t4705mb6 The Lord Jesus will take care of it... ALL of it. Trust in HIM.

[@t4705mb6]

+5winder There is absolutely no recorded history of this so-called "Jesus" person. it's only "recorded" in a book ... like "GONE WITH THE WIND" or "HARRY POTTER". Do you have information I've never received over the past 7 decades? If you have empirical evidence PLEASE put it HERE!

[@1533ramsay]

t4705mb6 I believe in a much higher being. However, a simple or in depth prayer doesn't guarantee all will be well. I say a prayer every time my wife calls or text me. I say GOD, Please let her be in a nice mood. Is the prayer answered? 9xs out 10 NO. has he forsake me? NO!

[@mindscapereality1173]

@@t4705mb6 You seem to exhibit many of the attributes in this video. Are you a troll?

[@marilynmonroe5824]

@@1533ramsay As long as you don't mentally or physically hurt your wife then you won't be reported!!! You better pray hard if you do!

[@jalalnasser9525]

Thank you Ben 🙏🏼

[@smoothandchunky1]

This is an amazingly clear list of narcissistic behaviors: 1) Think they know best about everything - Ask their permission before you do anything 2) Think they are more important than you are 3) They think they're sense of humor is correct - They can say whatever they want and you're supposed to take it 4) Everyone is a pawn - Value in worship or in what they can get from you 5) They think their excuses excuse them 6) They think their logic, reasoning and rules should rule - They are right and righteous 7) They think they don't have anything to learn - They will not listen especially when they're failing Anyone who bullies clerks or waiters will eventually get around to bullying you. They are bullying control freaks.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi smoothandchunky1, Thanks. Hope you got away! And recognize the early warning signs next time. Best wishes, Ben

[@amberdwyer1122]

This describes my mother in every way possible. I have been to counseling in secret and I have been told my mother will never change and I need to get far away from her. I am a single mother to a three yr old. My mother use to contact my ex behind my back and plot things as well which I never saw until later in court. When I was with my daughters father my mother use to ask him very personal information that should have been kept quite and he would tell her and should would ask him anything I would never answer to her because I like my relationships to be private especially when we were having some problems. She always felt the need to go and gossip my problems to the whole world and she never stops doing that. My mother would scream at me and say that I'm going no where in my life ect ( even though im doing my nursing degree). My dad does anything and everything she demands and in some ways I think is afraid of her.I had no choice but to leave everything I had and to move to the other side of my country with my child. Its very hard she still indirectly trys to get involved in my family court case and then says I have put her into it when I had never involved her in the first place. The only way I knew she involved herself was when I was in court and I suddenly was handed paperwork that was written and signed by her wanting custody of my kid. I cried and broke down in court. The court did not agree to what my mother had claimed but it was still very very scary at the thought of I could have lost my child I love so much. My mother would not even change a nappy nor bath my child so I was really shocked she asked for full custody behind my back while I was overseas on holiday with my child. My mother also felt the need to invade my privacy like open all my court documents addressed to me ect it was just over the top. My mother also feels the need to know how much money I have in my account which I have no idea why she would need to know that for.My whole childhood I don't remember her even playing with me or my siblings I only remember my dad doing those things even bathing me. My mother also swears black and blue that I was never hit as a child and this shocks me the most. So some how I have memory of something that never took place...I know very well what happened even if she denys it. I feel like I always have to watch my back because of her. While I was overseas my mother told my ex partner that I was overseas so they both put a ban on my passports which I never knew about until I got back. The more I found out about all her involvements I just broke a little more inside. I am always scared now that what if I carry the same traits as my mother. I don't want my child to live a damaged life like mine. Currently my mother does not know where I live. I also have changed my entire name which she knows nothing about.

[@benleichtling4776]

+Amber Dwyer Hi Amber, First: learn how to get away and how to get her out of your life. You’ll need legal advice and probably an ally with social services. But you need to break away with zero contact. Hard if your ex feeds her. But possible. So fight for your future and your daughter’s. Second: Don’t worry about being like her. That thought is just to motivate you not to. She can be a lesson top you about what Not to do. Of course it’s hard. So what? Thousands have gotten free and made wonderful lives for themselves. You can to. No matter the degree of difficulty. Best wishes, Ben

[@Linkfan007]

actually I take it back after listening a second time, 100% of everything you're saying is true about my boyfriend.

[@kaylanguyen8665]

Hi Delores, Yes, I agree with you to have no contact with a bully Abusive behavior or being a future victim of abuse can pass on to the children from a parents' abusive marriage. Unfortunately, in a marriage, children are involved, so after a divorce, there are custody issues...so no contact would not work in some cases because of the laws.

[@jjsiegal1]

Good work Ben!

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi jjsiegal1, Thanks. Have you gotten away yet? Best wishes, Ben

[@Hatratty]

I am so glad there is a plan to help people get out of these horrible situations. I got out. You are so right about doing it in secret. That is a must! If not, there is risk of being manipulated right back into your house because you will be convinced that you are wrong.... just like so many times before. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. But you were never wrong and you know it. Once you are free, you will be so happy. I was and always will be because I will never go back into that kind of situation and I want for my son to never be in that kind of situation. It is worse than anything I know.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Hatratty, So glad you get out. Let them roll off your back. You’re no worthless. Don’t believe what jerks say. Keep your spirit burning bright but hidden from them. Don’t try to change them. Make a wonderful life for yourself. Find people who feed your heart and spirit, and feed theirs. Protect your son and your life from them. Best wishes, Ben

[@Stephmusiculture]

Thank you so much. You described my sister who destroyed my life for about 20 years now.

[@mariamkinen8036]

Every word is true.Never try to be the psychiatrist who is to help out a narc in a relationship. Thanks. My narc family.

[@chachi44089]

You described my mom.. I am 45 years old and am still trying to earn her love/affection. She hurts me so much with the nasty little comments and cleverly veiled insults. If I try and defend myself she will say thet I have the problem and this is all my fault. I am always left an emotional mess with feelings of anger, guilt and depression. I love my mom but just cant take this any more.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Chachi, You’re 45 so it’s time to get over trying to earn her love/affection. As long as you try, she’ll never give it. She might lose her control over you. There are better paths for you to take. Since all situations are different, you need individualized help to get strength, courage, determination and skill, and to create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! You can do it! You can be strong, brave and determined! Best wishes, Ben

[@longobardilounge8238]

About 90pct of this is going on for me in my relationship! ! I'm changing this immediately

[@MsLuath]

Thank you so much for this video validating a recent experience. I could not put the words on it and I felt guilty I acted rashly with going no contact but the pattern you described is exactly that.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Ms Luath, Glad you got away. Get over guilt. Useless old habit. There are better ways to motivate yourself to protect and defend yourself. Learn the Early Warning Signs of sneaky bullies. Don’t rescue or therapeutize them. Get rid of them. That’s not rash. That’s what we have to do with predators. Make space for someone better. Best wishes, Ben

[@calsitup]

This video is so true. I have a girlfriend who knows best always telling me what and how to do just about anything. When she is in these moods she will criticise me many times within a short time and I know I wont have to wait too long for her to do it again. I know what she is saying is not true and is a load of crap. I do not do this to her and am reasonably easy going, believe in mutual respect. She does not and thinks she is better than me and others. I have been trying to weigh things up and think about the better times. However she keeps coming back with this controlling behaviour. She thinks that I should just put up with it. Her mother is like this with her father so thinks it normal. She is twisted puting her own slant on things that I have said even when I have explained something said was never meant that way.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi calsitup, It’s really simple. But sometimes difficult. Get a new girlfriend. Actually, clear everyone out of your life who is a bully. No reasons, excuses, justifications or BS about why they do it. Get rid of them. Get a new life in which you have people around you who increase the song and dance of joy that can be yours. Don’t waste time and energy on bullies. Also, be a person who brings joy to others. Then you can live the life you want. Of course, it takes courage, strength and determination. Do you have anything better to do with your time and energy? Best wishes, Ben

[@calsitup]

Ben Leichtling Thank you that makes sense I should have trusted my gut feeling early on but it was nice having a girlfriend to begin with, as it has been hard to find someone. I know no one is all bad but then I started to see what she could be like when things dont go her way.

[@benleichtling4776]

calsitup Hi calsitup, It’s not about a person being good or bad. You don’t have to judge their identity. It’s about what behavior do you want in your space. If she behaves the way you want, she can stay. If not, she has to go. Simple. Clear. Not necessarily easy. Now you have space to welcome a girlfriend who’s better for you. Best wishes, Ben

[@calsitup]

Hi Ben Yes I know, it has just taken time to see what she can be like. It would be nice to have someone better suited where there is a mutual respect. Thanks

[@benleichtling4776]

calsitup Hi Calsitup, Yes. Go for it. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess. Best wishes, Ben

[@lyllies1130]

Ben, I am 2 minutes through this video, with my notepad writing and you haven´t even past the second reason and I know that my partner is a covert controlling bully. I am so devasted to be in this situation and too scared to be left alone. I have to get out this. Thank you for opening my eyes. I don´t know how to be strong, he has destroyed my spirit into making me believe I am nothing without him. I just want to run but I don´t have a place to be. This is 2012 old, how did I find this in 2017!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!

[@JakeWerkmeister]

Isn't this the truth? Don't forget about the circular arguments meant to throw you off balance. Eventually, you're so baffled as to what the fight is about, you just submit to whatever they say. Simply put, they are all bullies, and most have insecurities and/or the understanding of your feelings as an angry child would. I don't envy anyone who has kids with one of these truly awful people.

[@mdbosley]

As a Buddhist I have to come out and say, Your emotions (or feelings) come from you and your reactions. You will enjoy the fruits of your actions whether or not you accept responsibility for your own emotions or not. If you don't accept responsibility for your own greed hatred and delusion and often say stuff like "You make me so mad". That makes you a victim and you will never find freedom. On the other hand, If you can see that you influence your own emotions by choice, nobody can gain the power to make you anything other than what you choose. Wise people choose to be happy. Wise people recognize the anger that arises in them as a choice that can be made differently.

[@uncleclaw171]

My narc-father's retirement social time is FAR more important than my time running my own business and supporting my family. I should let my business go to waste, and not deal with an urgent matter, in order to make a social visit with his eminence.

[@adrianamoreno2776]

Wow I thought I was crazy! Thank you

[@BenLeichtling]

Glad you see it. Please spread the word. Or, if you need help - Shameless promotion: :) Since all situations are different, you may need individualized help to get strength, courage, strength, determination and skill you need, and to create and carry out an effective plan. Call me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal. What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul!

[@ignacesemanyenzi557]

If anyone is dealing with someone like that. Please take his advice very seriously. Go no contact immediately or start planning your exit strategy as soon as possible. I was raised in a similar toxic environment and i am still struggling with effects of abuse till today. The children pay the highest price when you marry such individuals and you too will suffer for the rest of your life.

[@vidronin]

HI Ben, thank you for your videos...I am in a tough spot as I am financially dependent on an emotionally bullying parent

[@drakedrones]

Welcome to my current situation!!!!

[@lastfantastics1370]

+Drake Drones Lisa A Romano emerg vids!

[@benleichtling4776]

+Drake Drones Hi Drake, Sorry I couldn’t answer sooner. I had surgery but I’m back now. So sorry. You just have to end it. No matter how difficult. No matter how long it takes. Your future, a way better future is calling out to you. Protect and defend the future you want. Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben

[@drakedrones]

Ben Leichtling Thank you. I am going to email you.

[@benleichtling4776]

+Drake Drones Hi Drake, Please do! Best wishes, Ben

[@jenrich111]

Great advice. Just a technical comment. The sound quality is low. Please be closer to mic, turn it up or whatever. Keep being you. Thumbs up!

[@benleichtling4776]

+Jen Rich Hi Jen, Thanks. Yes, the sound wasn't good enough on these early videos. But I hope the information helped. And see my recent videos. Best wishes, Ben

[@Suryaprabhaeaswar]

thank you for giving confidence and ideas around this.. very useful

[@whitephoenix64]

I've been in a relationship with a women for 20 years who strongly hits 6 of your seven signs, and is very subtle with a seventh. she convinced me I was literally insane and gave me an ultimatum to see a therapist or get kicked out. Of course the therapist convinced me to move out and I did, (SOOOO much happier now). The problem is she has convinced my Daughter to never see or talk to me again until I let my ex into my therapy sessions, so she can make sure i am telling the "whole truth". I know my daughter is devastated, and thinks that i don't love her unless I relent to my ex's demands. My therapist is saying no way to this, I am at a loss and don't know what to do...I miss my daughter so much (its been about 5 months now)

[@benleichtling4776]

+whitephoenix64 Hi Whitephoenix, Sorry I couldn’t answer sooner. I had surgery but I’m back now. So sorry. You’re between a rock and a hard place. There’s no answer without some pain. But there are better pathways for the long term. Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal ([e-mail]). What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul! Best wishes, Ben

[@Zignant]

My family bullies me in this way, it's hard to deal with them. I'm made out to be the laughing stock, always being made fun of, scapegoat for their problems. It's hard to get away to relax somewhere nearby too since relatives live close by, they tell my family where I am and my family follows me there or calls the police.

[@benleichtling4776]

Hi Zignant, Sounds like you’re too young to leave effectively so I think the best choice is to endure. And prepare in secret. Understand that they’re the way they because of them, not because you’re are particularly bad or wrong. Keep your feelings where they can’t hurt them. Don’t fight or argue. Focus on preparing yourself. Keep your spirit burning strong. Endure until you can get away effectively and then turn your back on him. Prepare in secret. Get a skill so you can get away and become physically and financially independent. Find people who will help you prepare. No matter how hard. No matter how long. Then they won’t matter. Then you can create the life you want. And find the true family of your heart, mind and spirit. Be brave. Be invulnerable. Let nothing crush you! Best wishes, Ben

[@donnawoodford6641]

I check how my body feels to identify bullies.

[@MissUnderstoodasAlways]

Ive been through all of this only to still be verbally attacked by his groupies

[@user-bd4bo4tb8u]

Their absolute certainty also makes everyone believe them and doubt the partner. No one stands up for me because my ex does illegal, cruel things with such confidence. My ex does these things on purpose. To intentionally cause harm. My parents do this sometimes because they don’t know about this topic-but they have good intentions. It feels the same though.

[@patstokes3615]

mY BROTHER IS A BULLY AND MY ONLY FAMILY MEMBER LEFT. i'M AFRAID OF HIM BUT TOTALLY AWARE OF WHAT HE IS. hE IS ALSO DEFT, SO HE THINKS YOU SAY THINGS YOU DIDN'T SAY. i DON'T THINK HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THIS WHY SO i WONDER WHEN AND HOW IT STARTS. hE USED TO BE A DRINKER, SO i GUESS IT COULD BE WORSE. tHANKS FOR PUTTING IT ALL IN WORDS. hE IS ALL OF THOSE THINGS

[@alisha55555]

Get ‘em, Ben!! 👏🏻