How to Set EFFECTIVE Boundaries with Toddlers - A Step-By-Step Guide!

[@adrianatung1199]

Thanks for sharing ❤ I'm having hard time getting my 2 yo boy to shower every night. He just said i don't want whenever i ask him to go. When I keep repeating a few times he will get frustrated and yell. If i insist then he will melt down, rolling on the floor and cry. I tried doing it with gentle but firm voice, looking at him face to face, keeping myself calm despite his yelling, or giving him choices to choose extra 5 or 10 min playtime, but it's the same. I tried making bath time more fun sticking his favorite hero on the bathroom wall, bringing toys to shower, but that only work for 1-2 weeks then he back to the same pattern. I also tried praises when he follows my request. Now I'm out of ideas. Any negative consequences or penalty do you recommend to get him follow?

[@PocketfulofParenting]

You're welcome! And thank you for reaching out! First, I want to acknowledge how frustrating and exhausting this struggle must be. It sounds like you've already tried so many great strategies, like staying calm, offering choices, and making bath time fun - which is awesome! For toddlers, bath resistance is very common and usually stems from wanting control over their routine or feeling interrupted during play. Here are some additional approaches that might help: 1. Make it predictable: Use a visual schedule with pictures showing the evening routine, letting him move the marker himself. This gives him some control and helps prepare for transitions. 2. Ask him what can make it better: I know he’s young, but depending on his communication skills, asking him what would make bath time better for him may be an option. 3. Connect before directing: A lot of times our toddlers don’t cooperate because they aren’t feeling connected to us. If possible, try to spend a few minutes fully engaging in his play before transition time. Then use a timer: "Let's play trucks for 5 more minutes, then it’s bath time.” When the timer goes off, I would transition with a choice - “Okay, the timer went off. Would you like me to carry you or do you want to walk to the bathroom?” If he doesn’t choose, then calmly state, “It looks like you’re having a hard time choosing today, so I’m going to carry you.” Then I would physically move him to the bathroom. 4. Try rotating bath activities/toys: I will try and prep the bath with whatever activity/toys for my boys before they get upstairs, so they are surprised and more eager to come see what’s in there. This helps to keep it more exciting and switches the activity/toys up for them. Instead of penalties, I'd suggest looking at the natural results of what will happen is he doesn’t take a bath on time - "When we take too long getting ready for bath, we have less time for stories." This helps build cause-and-effect understanding. Hang in there! Phases like this are normal and temporary (even if it doesn’t seem that way at times). Stay consistent and celebrate small wins. I hope this helps! You’ve got this. ❤️

[@tyke1620]

I must say I love your content but I am at wits end with my two-year-old. I have a two-year-old struggling with sleep and behaviour issues. He would literally not nap in the daytime and then refused to go to bed at night. When he eventually goes to bed, he would wake up every 45 minutes and scream my name. I have tried saying ''it is bedtime, and you need to sleep'' and tried not to engage him in a conversation in the hope I am setting the atmosphere to encourage him to go back to bed but will not until I breastfeed and then the cycle of waking up every 45 minutes carries on till the morning. I am exhausted now and I want him to sleep. Another thing is that he kicks and bites when he doesn't have his way or is told to do anything. he can throw his food or drink if he doesn't like it. He can talk but he chooses not to when he is upset and instead throws his food at me or the dog I have tried all suggestions for creating a bedtime routine and tried being consistent but it does not make any difference, Tried using distraction techniques but it work for a minute and we are back to square one

[@PocketfulofParenting]

Thank you so much for being here. I’m so glad you’re loving the content and I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling so much with your son. I can feel the frustration in your comment and I have totally been there. I’m not sure how long this has been going on for, but it sounds like he may be going through a sleep regression, which can happen around certain stages of development. If you are able to, you may want to consider reaching out to a sleep consultant to explore more of what’s going on here. Regressions can last for several weeks. I know how debilitating it is running on such little sleep, especially when it’s coupled with the behaviors that you’re dealing with. If he’s not getting enough sleep, this can also be intensifying the behavior issues. Even when our children can talk, at this age, when they are upset their brain gets overloaded and they can have a hard time expressing their words - so we see it come out in their behaviors (like throwing food, hitting and biting). It sounds like you’re doing a great job using different strategies. Hang in there and try to remind yourself that this is temporary. I would also encourage you to bring this up with your child’s healthcare provider to explore if there are any other underlying issues going on. Sending you hugs and strength. You’ve got this. 🩷