How to Speak like a Gentleman

[@JustAnotherGoddess52]

72 yr old grandma here. I so very much appreciate your videos and especially your vocabulary. Thank you so much for being a beacon of light for our young men.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you for your lovely comment, you made my day! James

[@jshoover2199]

I love that you added "listening" because few people see the value of proper listening.

[@mtlicq]

@jshoover2199 - This could not be any truer !

[@nick_davee]

Absolutely.👍🏿

[@joanofarcxxi]

If men want to level up, this is a fabulous channel to assist them. I am a woman, and I learn too. So greatful for this discussion. Many times, men are super attractive - until they start talking. Worst yet, if they are terrible listeners. Profanity is best completely avoided, but if you must, be very careful with when and what you do say. 😊. Thank you. 🌹♥️

[@JustAnotherGoddess52]

I agree, and do so appreciate his vocabulary

[@Iam-pf3di]

Thank you

[@lucasgrey9794]

"Men are super attractive - until they start talking." Men who rely on their looks to get by are very cringe worthy. This is also true for women but it's not really common for attractive women to be as cringe as good looking men who rely on their looks while neglecting personality development.

[@margkropf5541]

A gentleman respects women. Period.Nothing else is more important.

[@rand503]

One thing I learned from playing piano, of all things. "An aristocrat never hurries." This is very true -- gentlemen never rushes anything, and that includes his speech. I also recommend learning a foreign language. Any language will make you more conscious about how you speak in your first language. I found that learning French helped round out my vowels, among other things.

[@brihath0805]

Excellent video. You convey a consistent message of understated elegance and grace, a comforting message in this crazy world. Please keep the videos coming. Thank you.

[@G.Charles73]

I wasn't sure I liked this guy, but the more videos I watch, the more he grows on me. It's like I want to have a single malt and a cigar and chat with the ol' chap. Keep up the solid content. You have a new fan.

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you sir, I would love to share a dram and a smoke with all of my audience

[@Hondo0101]

I believe one of my generation has to get past his youth and listen to him. Heck Cary Grant was once his age. I am glad someone is pointing the way to this younger generation.

[@elisarodriguez9859]

As a woman I greatly appreciate your teachings to this male generation. If a man elevates himself FOR himself, he will be the most attractive man in the room.

[@gingerbreadzak]

00:27 🗣 A gentleman maintains a soft-spoken demeanor, avoiding shouting matches and speaking over others. 01:09 🎙 Swearing can be acceptable for a gentleman if used sparingly and appropriately, understanding its impact on the audience. 03:16 📚 A gentleman's speech reflects his education, emphasizing proper grammar and structured sentences for clarity and engagement. 05:19 👂 A gentleman distinguishes himself by being a great listener, showing genuine interest in others and making them feel valued. 06:57 ⏳ Patience is crucial; interrupting others shows a lack of respect and attention, contrary to gentlemanly behavior. 07:12 🗣 A gentleman doesn't flaunt his vocabulary or specialized knowledge, instead focusing on clear communication that everyone can understand.

[@ABC-rh7zc]

Douglas Murray is a national treasure and one of my very few real-life heroes.

[@iceman47]

lol

[@mcgannpster]

💯

[@misterhot9163]

He’s gay and conservative…. Go figure!! 😮

[@lucasgrey9794]

Douglas Murray is probably the most smarmy, insincere and cynical political media figures to come out of the UK. Frankly, he might be worse than Nigel Farage.

[@lucasgrey9794]

@@misterhot9163 Conservative pundits are usually secretly gay, openly gay or just con-men since Conservative are so dumb and make for very easy marks.

[@rogercurrie]

Nice advice today James. I have been trying to tell my 18 year old nephew about these topics for several years. He always thought that it made him look smarter when he corrected others and used words others didn't understand. I always told him, a wiser man speaks to his audience , and nobody and I mean nobody likes a corrector .

[@Gent.Z]

Indeed, Roger. Glad you enjoyed the video. At least it sounds like your nephew is an intelligent young man! Arrogance is definitely easier to slip into when you're young

[@pensivepenguin3000]

I have a friend in his early 40s who still has not learned this lesson. He’s a nice guy, and he would do anything for anyone, but he has the know-it-all syndrome. It comes from deep-seated insecurities where he never felt adequate as a kid. It’s much more attractive and charming to say something like, “you know, I have not heard about that before. Tell me more about it,” than to pretend you know something you don’t

[@Mrvictorfernandes]

"A gentleman crafts his sentences with poise, creating a much more engaging experience for his listener... [and] actually prefers to steer the topic of conversation away from himself and onto the other person..." For some reason - as an example - it makes me think of this precious piece of dialogue from the film "Charade": Cary Grant: "Oh, you should see your face." Audrey Hepburn: "What's the matter with it?" Cary Grant: "It's lovely." Nuff said... 😊

[@555reaper]

Would you recommend that movie to learn how to be a proper gentleman? Or was it simply this specific scene?

[@TheAverageYoutubeConsumer]

⁠@@555reaperit’s a Cary Grant movie, so yes you should be able to pick up a thing or two.

[@lawrencelewis2592]

@@TheAverageKZbinConsumer Exactly right!

[@donaldduck7461]

Peter O’Toole - The Last Emperor. A wonderful scene when he speaks of being a gentleman.

[@mtlicq]

Oh !!! Peter O'Toole is THE best example of speaking like and being a gentleman!

[@EugeneMurray-z1b]

​​@@mtlicq Peter O'Toole reading the words to 'If you really wannabe my lover' by The Spice Girls Amazing 🤣

[@matthewbrown6163]

My uncle had this deep, bold, strong voice. As kids we all listened to him as he spoke. I cannot come close to him but I inherited the loud, strong voice. You learn to develop a strong commanding voice in the military.

[@sammajor2075]

2:38 Twenty years in the military,law enforcement,and the fire service. You nailed it one hundred percent. Constant swearing makes you sound intellectually limited,or like you are trying too hard. But when used judiciously,it can silence the room. People know you mean business.

[@KadeBronson]

Most people in those professions do swear constantly .

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, sir. I’m glad to get your perspective

[@sammajor2075]

@@Gent.Z Thank you Sir. For hosting such a great channel.

[@petereastwood7868]

As the saying goes: “Profanity is evidence of a weak mind attempting to appear forceful.”

[@MansaMusa-v5q]

@@petereastwood7868false profanity is a verbal exclamation point….when used sparingly

[@romaroman4370]

Thanks!

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you very much, sir

[@davidschramm5153]

well said young man.....

[@joelzsheridancomedy3983]

There are few situations I find when a gentleman can use profanity. In general chaps use that the vulgar swear word as verb,noun, adverb, and adjective, and dress nice are just pigs with lipstick; and should therefore continue wearing their pajamas in public to alert us to that fact..What makes a gentleman is as you said his ability to control himself in a given situation.

[@JohnKanuck]

I agree 100% with your point about steering the conversation - that is an art that every gentleman should practice. It is important that everyone get their share of the conversation (if they wish) and that those you know to have something useful to contribute be invited to do so, especially if they are quiet or disinclined to put themselves forward. I have a couple of "friends" (acquaintances whom I cannot avoid) who are terrible conversationalists and gush endlessly, like a fire hydrant trying to get it all out. I go to those dinners with great trepidation. Equally unpleasant are those who are oblivious to your lack of interest in their favoured topic. I was once compelled to get up and leave my own dinner party because two of the guests were droning on endlessly about Calvinism or something (it was my wife's family, so it was her responsibility to manage them, and she failed to do so. So I just left and did clean up - I could not even excuse myself, as there was no way to get a word in edgewise).

[@videofan792]

I agree that our speech is very important. Many people today don’t seem to be able to put a sentence together without falling into poor speech habits, repeating themselves and using the word “like” five or six times. Thank you for helping us to improve in different aspects of our lives.

[@JamesRDavenport]

One thing I've found helpful when crafting spoken sentences is having a writer background. Visualize what you're about to say like a script. Edit and revise in the pregnant pause as you listen intuitively to the other person.Take a breath, then speak.

[@mtlicq]

As for me, one thing I've found helpful is to have it in my heart, and then speak from the heart and just let it flow from a "flow state" without holding back to analyze or strategize how to say it.

[@badczech8485]

While watching and listening to your comments regarding speaking as a gentleman, I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes from the late John Wayne on the subject. "Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much." I must say that I agree with him, as nobody wants to be around a man who is overly loud. Also, someone whose vocal cadence resembles a rapid-fire machine gun appears to be afraid that he won't be able to make his point if he doesn't hurry. And of course, nobody enjoys the company of a blabbermouth. I enjoy your videos and I applaud your efforts to restore a bit of the elegance and charm of being a genuine gentleman, which, sadly, seems to have been lost over recent years.

[@sonnieoj]

This was an excellent video on a much needed subject. Please keep etiquette content coming! Well done.

[@Mr._Martinez]

Good video friend. Your channel is rising fast! Glad to see it

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, sir

[@pensivepenguin3000]

it’s funny that you mentioned speaking like you write, because I used to get teased by my friends as far back as my early 20s for apparently doing that very thing. I would get insecure about it back then, but now I know it was actually an asset all this time :)

[@hoozat007]

I’ve been watching your videos quite regularly and I enjoy your content and presentation. This one is particularly interesting. I agree with your position on swearing. I used to be in the army and have also had other jobs where swearing was a common and frequent part of the vocabulary. However, I don’t swear often myself and I have found that it’s much more effective when used sparingly. When I do swear, people who know me are aware that what I’m saying has particular significance or passion because of the unexpected strong language. If you swear constantly, it loses impact.

[@michaelcestare3158]

Great content! These videos are full of useful information that, unfortunately, we often dont learn from our parents, in school or in the real world. As a communication professional myself, i can see a lot of the value in these messages. I particularly like the advice about turning the conversation to focus on the other person. One of the key principles from Dale Carnagies masterpiece "How to Win Friends and Influence People". Keep up the great work!

[@mikehess4494]

Educational. Thank you. As I do with your videos I take notes to review as needed.

[@Gent.Z]

That's very cool to know you are getting so much value from these videos. I'm flattered. Thank you

[@Soulagape]

Thank you brother, this has helped a lot. I just want to speak to people in a way that makes them comfortable, despite what the day will bring or has already brought them.

[@Dimultica]

I like the point about doing a podcast as a hobby. Whenever I would use the voice recording function on my mobile phone, to 'journal' my thoughts, I would cringe at the use of 'filler' words.

[@neilwatson4461]

I'm from a northern working class area and work in a warehouse and i do use the more industrial language on an everyday basis as often it's needed to get points across to the people i work with. But i am gentlemanly when needed, for example, at break times, I'll always stop to let the women up the stairs to the canteen before i do and even once during a fire drill i got a telling off for not leaving the site as i helped a female worker out due to the fact she was pregnant at the time. I do talk with a bit of a stutter at times, especially when nervous or anxious. Sometimes, i talk softly but sometimes i find my words all trying to get at out at once so this video is a real help.

[@andrjsh]

To cultivate your ear, listen to audiobooks, radio dramas, etc narrated by classically trained actors (John Gielgud, Ralph Richardson, Jeremy Irons). Also, listen to interviews of actors who were famous in the 40s and 50s.

[@MS-wb5mf]

I am American and aligned with 90 percent of what you have espoused. I can tell you as someone who has done voice over work, it helps to have a magnificent and unique voice ; appearance, wardrobe and grooming all combine to make quite an impression and I have been happy to be able to influence younger men as we have developed a very right wing element in our country that favors cave men .

[@DrMikeOckhertz]

If you're having a conversation do your conversational partner the honour of listening to what they have to say, rather than just tolerating their speech while waiting to say your next sentence. Listening is a skill.

[@marleneyanchus4644]

Great advice for not only gentlemen but everyone

[@MrKbsweeney]

The value of speaking is the value of what you’re saying. Most often, listening is the best policy while only contributing when you have something of unique value and not upstaging what someone else has just said.

[@gordonbrandt9739]

A good reference regarding conversation is "Skill with People" by Les Giblin.

[@jeremiahbok9028]

And Douglas Murray makes an appearance! I have some disagreements here and there as well, but I do like him and I'm pleased to see him here. "A gentleman is aware of his profanity, and only uses it as a tool when appropriate." Here here! And it's good to see charming gentleman, thinker, skilled actor, and atheist Stephen Fry in the mix. This time around, I especially enjoyed the background music. Also, you seem to attracting more views, that's exciting to see! Cheers to your style.

[@Gent.Z]

Thanks, Jeremiah. Yes, I thought I would add some variety to my examples this time. I'm quietly hoping for 50,000 subscribers by my birthday, which is on Thursday. We'll see!

[@alexmartin6381]

I am thankful to KZbin it showed me your channel I was looking for something like this for a long time but found it, just became your subscriber love from New Delhi

[@infinatiAM]

Namasté and Love from India. Being an Anglophile myself these qualities alongside with my Indianess helped me when I read law in the Great Britian. Now back in India, people mock me yet I be with my camaraderie. You people and your post and ofcouse the creator of this channel has inspired me to comment! Love, Life, Life!

[@ShaneHynesIRL]

Great video. Great delivery. Great choice of background music

[@sarahschmidt4177]

Think of Sir Winston Churchill's speeches; even his powerful speech about, "we shall fight on the beaches and in the streets....we shall never surrender" was spoken quietly, but his confidence and strength inspired the Nation and helped save Western Civilization. Hitler, on the other hand screamed, and raved, and lost.

[@beornkhan2736]

Churchill was also a war criminal and massmurder

[@henrikgustafsson6385]

Oh how wrongly you hade interpreted Mr. Hitler's oratory skills. He used to begin his speeches with a silence, then softly talking, working up his tempo, and in the ending, in a frantic finale of loud voice, accompanied by the waving arms and all. It is a form of speech-technuiqe used all the way back to antiquity, used by the romans, to captivate the audience listening and playing on their full feelings during your speech. The bits we learn from history class, is the frantic lunatic screaming and waving exxagerated. Not the part, were he discusses and puts it clear of what he is talking about. Who would listen to a screaming madman on a stage? No one then, no one now.

[@sean_d]

And yet the British people kicked Churchill out before the war was even over...

[@Jerry-ok8gj]

Thank you for posting another great video! I always learn something from each one of them!

[@CornholioPuppetMaster]

I try to swear less often, I swore all the time in the army but some civilians are off put by the frequency

[@KadeBronson]

My dad is a jail guard. He is a great example of all the points you made.

[@rali1430]

damn but tell me who

[@ryano7220]

I knew the advice would be spot on when I saw the thumbnail of Saint-era Roger Moore.

[@robbiehollywood1937]

I have learned that the words we speak will make or break any situation. Therefore if I’m going to be using any profanity, it’s in private by myself… But even there - I have to watch what I say, because it affects the atmosphere around me. But an occasional, well placed “swear word“ can make an impact and flavor up any conversation. Just don’t overuse it.

[@ericgeneric135]

Excellent video as always.

[@20thcenturyboy85]

One of your best and most helpful videos.

[@leongiles3496]

Thank you again. Valuable life coaching.

[@thearturq5704]

I am 15 years old and I am currently in year 10 of high school in the UK. Could you perhaps make a video on how to be gentlemanly in school please, Sir? Or perhaps how to style a school uniform? Anything to do with school would be much appreciated. Thank you.

[@VikingMale]

Learn Public Speaking, Dale Carnegie Interpersonal Communication, do Paul Ekmans Micro Expression course online, and take Judo.

[@thearturq5704]

@@VikingMale Thank you.

[@Knightcommander69]

Active listening is so important. It was something I was trained extensively in as a salesman. Perhaps a good topic for a video?

[@TheReal_Timotheos]

Excellent lessons as always, I'd like to request a video about productivity for aspiring gents please, perhaps in a daily routine kind of format, Thank you.

[@Gent.Z]

I have a video coming tomorrow on time management. A productivity habits one would be good for the future, too

[@TheReal_Timotheos]

​@@Gent.Z Thank you for your consideration! Can't wait for those to come out.

[@gtrah-]

Thank u Very much Mr Gent Z

[@achorog8784]

Thank you for your Videos… im in love with that old „Bauhaus 1923“ pictures.

[@Earth_Being]

Today's men need this kind of lesson.

[@KlausKokholmPetersen]

Creative profanity is an artform in Scotland and Australia.

[@ColinDyckes]

Modern RP with good enunciation is what I aim for. Swear words are never necessary in my opinion. The main area I would disagree with you is 'interruption", although this is certainly correct in most cases. I have always found that two people with similar knowledge levels can hold a conversation simultaneously, answering what the other has just asked or stated. That truly does need good listening skills though.

[@paxsreekantan3639]

Keep at it, my friend!

[@KarlBieberach]

The content is very interesting. It is also so easy on the eyes. Thank you.

[@billmmckelvie5188]

Always speak from your lungs as oppose to your down your nose, be in a choir to develop this voice. The whole aim is to have a deep voice like the American actor Sam Elliot, when he speaks people listen. as the deep voice shows confidence and garners respect. Finallty, a gentleman has learnt another language, if there is not one you're fond of there is always our 5 home languages these include Cornish, Manx & Scots Gaelic, Welsh and Irish Gaelic.

[@WilliamG916]

Well done, as usual.

[@Pellesgardenadventures]

Does any one know the name of the charming piano piece in the end of the video? I recall it from a british themed movie. And thank you Mr. Gent Z for another excellent and well spoken video. Edit: Found it. "How Long Is until Tomorrow - Franz Gordon"

[@MikeG-t1f]

Excellent. Thank you

[@devindemond1972]

Absolutely love this!!!🥂✨

[@Gent.Z]

Thank you, Devin

[@devindemond1972]

Always a pleasure!!🥂

[@mtlicq]

On the subject of Interruptions: What about when someone does not hear you out, interrupts and takes the talk off on a tangent? Refrain from interrupting the interrupter taking things out of context?

[@makk1733]

A well put together list of pointers, really useful information! I’d like to know where you got that blazer? I’ve always wanted one exactly like that!

[@madguys3978]

i shall admire the way you kept the point about ascent, asian have a little faster way of speaking and have a good taste in it where as in roman countries people have a much formal way of speech

[@brianpeacock-lc4du]

While I lack much in the way of measuring up as a gentleman I do not swear. It’s a huge turn off when I hear women swear. It’s the same for me when I hear men swear. Struggling to remember a man I look up to that uses FOUL language. There is nothing edifying or uplifting that couldn’t be said better with a improved vocabulary in my opinion. Love your voice , video content and opinions. 👏

[@c.johnson1691]

Your video was very informative and helpful. Thanks

[@alexmarcus9009]

I agree with the Dowager, Countess of Grantham, who correctly stated that one should not confuse vulgarity with humor.

[@gibson4434]

It’s 2 oclock in the morning and it’s been almost three hours i Watch your vidéos. Great job ! Keep it up. You really are a Good speaker and I really need to slow the way I speak, it’s often not Even intelligible. Excuse my english and greetings from France 🇫🇷 😉

[@matthewgaydos8642]

Awesome Educational video!😊👍👍👍😊😊☕

[@alexandrawallner8814]

Excellent advice for ladies, too!

[@yargobruno]

Awesome , agree with all points, specially on the modesty with wide vocabulary. Very important to speak with simple language.

[@RelaxedSprinting]

A valuable channel. Learning a lot. Thank you.

[@briannicholas2757]

It is important to never talk down to people, no one likes pretentious behavior. Treat everyone and speak with them as an equal. I was in federal law enforcement for 22 years, and communication skills were critical. Treat people with respect, and 99% of the time they will reciprocate. That ties in with shouting and swearing and speaking softly. I was taught, and quickly learned, that as soon as you begin shouting and cursing, you have lost the discussion or interview. There were many times i had to get up, leave the room, and compose myself (this technique has other benefits) then return and resume the interview.

[@andreiistrate6943]

I need to know where is that blazer/suit jacket from. It looks lovely and it also suits you very well

[@j.a.h.vandelaak3477]

Carl Sagan = best voice ever!

[@sammajor2075]

6:00 Prince Philip was a personal role model. I admired his war service,and how he radiated confident masculinity,while married to a Queen. He was a man's man.

[@Carl-x8y3c]

After a few drinks 🍸 people raise their voices. I agree swearing can be okay. Especially if you are being witty.

[@howardbarrett9131]

Excellent

[@EcstaticTemporality]

Agree to a point about using vocabulary commonly known, esp. avoiding jargon but I disagree that elevated diction should be discouraged. Precise language over undescriptive or wordy speech.

[@mahmoudcours9392]

First of all, I want to thank you for this incredible video ! I have a little question please, what is the name of the music in the end of the video ?

[@Pellesgardenadventures]

"How Long Is until Tomorrow - Franz Gordon"

[@brentoncrowhurst8338]

I've been unable to confirm the delightful quotation attributed to Mark Twain that "profanity brings a particular relief unattainable by prayer or by drink."

[@gameworld2438]

That was perfect

[@Dabhach1]

So, when are you going to do a video on how to shave?

[@awalton9024]

It can be helpful to pick "speaking role models". Absolutely do not just try to imitate though. Instead, figure out what it is that you like about the way the person speaks and incorporate a bit of that part into your speech pattern. For example I really like how Morgan Freeman speaks, but why? Well, because he enunciates exceptionally clearly. He does not rush his speech (something I used to do a lot). And his voice stays in a close range, no extreme highs or lows.

[@hellonihaocomoestas]

I wish that i could gate keep this man.

[@richoneplanet7561]

1. Be Soft spoken, but 2. Speak Boldly 3. Avoid Profanity 4. Use good Grammar 5. Accent 6. Listening 7. Don't interrupt 8. Don't show off

[@JudithPrince-b5u]

My mother told me swearing happens when a person is uneducated, and doesn’t know the right way to speak.

[@danielfernandez21907]

Do a video on the styles of the Godfather please! Love the videos!!!

[@cgab12]

Nice jacket. Where did you get it?

[@monkem]

Whats the piano track at 06:50 if I may ask? Thanks 🙏

[@Pellesgardenadventures]

"How Long Is until Tomorrow - Franz Gordon"

[@jakecavendish3470]

Our old headmaster always said: A working man should never swear in front of his superiors, a gentleman never swears in front of anyone, and a nobleman swears whenever he f_ing likes

[@henriramonfosse]

I shall do my very best.

[@CT99234]

It's not how you speak. It's how your wear a retro blue safari suit. But always with a button down collar. Honestly this is the funniest content on you tube.

[@ThommyJane]

Words and phrases to avoid. Literally, amazing, super, it is what it is, I feel like, I know, right?

[@garysandberg3259]

On the swearing thing, I have always firmly believed that "Curse Words for DIY" should be a book by the till at any home improvement store or Ikea...🤣🤣

[@TheMisterGriswold]

A prominent individual comes to mind who is clearly not a gentleman.