How To Stay Married (So Far!)

[@joporritt2460]

Thank you for your very generous sharing💙 I can suggest reading and watching Gabor Mates books and YT videos about ADHD under the term Scattered Minds. ADHD can feel like a frightening diagnosis but it’s really just our adaptive way of coping to our environment usually from childhood. X

[@saskiaguy1940]

I second that recommendation on Scattered Minds!! 📕👌🏼

[@ELEN1971-]

I LOVE Dr Gabor Mate and his books, podcasts etc. Very informative and helpful ❤ Thank you Nadia and Mark for sharing your feelings and thoughts. Just over a year since my daughter’s diagnosis and every insight helps 🙏🏼

[@mandymullett1615]

Totally understand how you feel about adhd, Mark. We are all more than a definition, label or diagnosis.

[@lauralawler8385]

Cried my eyes out at this opening your hearts sharing raw feelings and emotions I salute you both Nads we fuckin love ya❤beautifully said Mark as usual

[@wonderwoman5528]

I don’t have, neither does anyone I know have ADHD, so this has been really eye-opening for me to learn more

[@Mayaxxxxxx]

I was told that this condition runs in families and we often are attracted to partners with the same condition so that we can heal ourselves and what we saw in our families. Not sure how true this is…

[@wilmasanderson2312]

Love to you both .thanks for sharing .couldn't be easy .think yous are amazing .watch yous every day .listening to marks mental health journey .has helped me with my depression .love to you both xx

[@joyclarke1020]

Thank you for this Mark and Nads. My 13yr old son has ADHD and ODD. He suffered childhood trauma due to issues with his Father who he now has no contact with. I was interested in hearing you both have issues with authority my son has literally been excluded today for a couple of days for not turning up to lessons. His behaviour has spiralled out of control since he started secondary school. This obviously coincides with hormones too. He has so many compulsions and addictions overeating being just one and now vaping (finding vapes from older peers) His mind is so chaotic that every aspect of life at the moment is a huge challenge for him. He is super hyper vigilant which is so difficult to manage for both him, me and his teachers. He picks up minute changes in body language and voice tones which he then perceives as an attack on him which results in angry outbursts. I’m a single mum with three other grown up children I find it emotionally and physically exhausting as I have had to make my brain see things through ADHD eyes. Schools are not designed in anyway to accommodate children who don’t fit in a typical box. I look forward to more discussions on this subject 🙏

[@milkhoney859]

Thanks for another great discussion. I hear exactly what you mean Mark about not wanting to know every intricate detail for your own sanity and survival, its probably not necessary to read everything about it, and as an empath i can understand why you would feel sensitive to that. Maybe you would rather also just learn and understand about it organicanically through your own personal experiences too? Everyone with ADHD is still completely unique and individual, and that is also why critical psychology has to look at the many implications of testing and diagnosing. Anyway as you said, this is how you feel at the moment, it may change at different points in your life and i think its so important to listen to when your body and mind is ready or not for information.

[@jemmachamberlain8992]

You are still the person you always were, that's not changed. You just have more information to understand yourself better. I'm waiting for an assessment for autism. I also believe I have adhd. It will be a long wait and I've had to fight to get on the list. They always say 'why do you need to know if you have it? What will change with a diagnosis?'They have no idea what this means to me & how it will change how I see myself & exceptance of my differences. Everyday is just so tiring. Thank you for sharing your diagnosis x

[@haileycooper6252]

This is so helpful. Thanks for taking about it

[@juliehilton3365]

Thank you so much for this nads and mark sending lots of love to you both xx

[@stephschulze4898]

I have a great deal of admiration for you both 💞I wonder if it’s comforting having a diagnosis in common, even if it presents differently. It is fascinating. Love and best wishes xx

[@kateh184]

agree! Listen to Gabor mate on adhd!!!

[@lucymiller2998]

And addiction. He's incredible

[@tinadavis3333]

Mark and Nadia thankyou so much for sharing 🤗🤗❤️❤️

[@nikiburton7659]

Aww thank you both so much for sharing your both amazing and a fantastic couple xx just thank you so much ❤️ chi chi and toffee xx ❤

[@karenula7152]

Such a wonderful HTSM 😊 xxx

[@saskiaguy1940]

Mark, please read Gabor Maté’s book about ADHD called, ‘Scattered Minds.’ ADHD is not genetic, it’s caused by childhood trauma. CPTSD, more specifically. Trauma over a long period of time in childhood causes neurological damage in the brain. The trauma doesn’t even have to be overt neglect or physical abuse, it can be caused simply by the lack of a healthy, safe attachment to a parent/caregiver who isn’t emotionally present. Gabor explains it so well. He is a leading thinker on this topic. ADHD is in fact a physical brain injury that occurs when neuro pathways, that should have developed during a child’s brain growth, don’t develop healthily. You’ll understand yourself so much better and be able to release so much pain when you explore this further. So much love to you and Nadia as you learn more about it all. I’m recently diagnosed with it, too. Age 50! ☀️

[@LucyLucy296]

ADHD is genetic and can also be caused by brain damage. Please do your research correctly before you declare it can only be cause by brain damage or childhood trauma. The reality is, if you have genetically inherited ADHD, you tend to be a more difficult child to raise, hence why childen with ADHD are more likely to deal with childhood trauma, due to the difficulty of raising a child with ADHD. The book you mentioned in the comments is extremely outdated. ADHD is a neurological disorder. A study completed of a Kenyan tribe showed that those amongst the tribe with ADHD were more successful in the lifestyle, in comparison to the neurotypical counterparts, but when those same ADHD people were brought into the westernised world, which is neurotyoical friendly, the ADHD people preformed worse in comparison to the neurotyoicals.

[@Tracymarie1978]

How do you get tested as I would like to see if I have it as I have the same symptoms?

[@shawnmendrek3544]

A lot of stories women who no ADHD, they seem hurt when they have no ADHD. So what is a guy with ADHD to do. Just ignore all women without ADHD or some disorder. That is just how I feel at this point. Seems like when the woman has ADHD but man does not, oh the tables turn for good. Guess I gotta stick with women with ADHD, that is how I see it. I just gave up on women with no ADHD. What is the point. I feel like I am just stuck to going for women with ADHD. Same for friends. I will not explain further. Change the battery on your smoke alarm, it takes little time or a step stool pull out if you can't reach it.

[@milkhoney859]

Just because you fit into the definition of something doesnt mean that it defines you...

[@chloelee4790]

Just brilliant guys 🫶 💕