How To Stop Bad Behavior In 4-Year-Olds

[@16december]

I came here to learn things about my children upbringing but i ended up learning about my own🙏🏿thank you

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

We can't teach other people self-government if we don't learn it too. That is a great lesson!

[@patiencemtetwa]

I'm so glad I found your channel...I have a 4 year old son. I feel I needed to hear this message because my goodness! The struggle is real! My son has a habit of totally ignoring me when we're visited by another toddler, he would be totally in control of the other toddler about playing games or toys. The minute I would announce in a soft voice something that I would like them to do in 5 -10 minutes, it's like his turned deaf, continue to play with his toys, I can say something over and over until I found myself in a Yelling mode! Of which I hate so much. It doesn't end there, everytime I would prepare him that he will be doing something, he will tell me, No, "I don't want to do that ... always opposing when I'm making suggestions...I'm in a point of thinking where exactly are my going wrong or how should I address things to my 4 year old, because honestly I know this stage, if I don't try my hardest...I feel like I will lose my son

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

That is quite the situation! The full response to your comment is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

[@mariacolvert5901]

Your channel and books have literally begun to save my family and my sanity!! Thank you

[@HabibaRahim-te3nf]

Diligent & consistent Pre teach proper behavior Point towards calmness Skills for success Don’t mock your children Parents shouldn’t power struggle Don’t take things personal

[@khadijafatima4080]

Thanking you from the bottom of my heart... Your reminders to be a good and intellectual parent really helps.

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

You're most welcome. I'm so glad I could help you!

[@bintutucker2105]

My four years old don't want to be corrected in school, she will throw herself on the floor and start to hit the furnitures and toys, she will also start crying as if someone has done something to her, she doesn't listen at all, so I really need help on how to handle this situation.

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

That is quite the situation! The full response to your comment is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

[@owlbookworld5041]

Do you have a video on how to teach them those 4 skills you mentioned in this video?

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

Yes I do! kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y2nPoWNmn5d_p6M&pp=ygUYbmljaG9sZWVuIHBlY2sgbm8gYW5zd2Vy I hope that helps!

[@nani2741]

I need help asap!!!! My daughter has been bad since she started walking. There so much things I’ve done already. Calm,patient,not over react. Discipline and so much more!! She’s four years old telling me . “Your not my friend” “I hate you” and so much more

[@al-iy4cm]

How is it now,? I am currently going through the same thing

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

That is quite the situation! The full response to your comment is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

[@PassthacuppTV]

My issue is my son is a good kid at home but at daycare away from me and his mom he acts out with violent behavior fighting n biting etc wen he gets upset

[@CharlieSummers2.0]

lol it’s a magical age alright… I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… nothing makes you deal with your own shit like a kid… and I’m learning that I have SOOO much stuff to deal with. I’ve never been good with consistency… that’s my downfall.

[@hellooli2825]

Just realized how bad I am with my daughter. My daughter is 3 y and 6 m. Since day one from the hospital she's been very difficult. She started hitting us as soon as she turned 1, she then started fighting and hitting whomever she came across her age. Then I had a baby boy and she exploded. She started hitting us again, started hitting doctors and nurses. Now she talks back to us and screams at us. The baby is now 6 months and she is now starting to take away any toy he has or is playing with. I have to admit that when she would throw tantrums I would record her and send it to Dad. I just feel so bad.

[@Bedeborah]

Lord do need to hear this video

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

I'm glad you found my channel!

[@silverrose9248]

My 3 yr old is more likely to listen to another adult or an older child than me

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

It sounds like the roles in your family have been mixed up or misunderstood. Understanding and living proper roles could help this situation tremendously! I have a whole book on roles, which could be helpful for you. You can find it here: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/

[@CharlieSummers2.0]

Me too!!!

[@tripletmama7680]

Oh how I wish I had someone experienced who new how to help guide me in raising triplets 😅

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

It's never too late to get the guidance you wish you had! There's so much to learn for every phase of life!

[@ashleywebster7590]

What do you do when the child is adhd and absolutely will not listen. It’s like his body is out of control.

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

[@Warefamily2024]

Where do we find modified rule or 3?!?!

[@Olpiny_5]

Yeah, youre good. Best wishes from Poland.

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

Thank you very much!

[@donikatod460]

I understand not taking things personally. Can you please explain though why a child would only behave a certain way with their mother and/or father, but not with anybody else? I would imagine it has to do with power struggle - but at the same time it is personal. That doesn't mean we should take it personally or let emotions of that nature guide us. But we can still admit it is actually very personal as it's targeted it specifically to us and no other caregivers. No? :)

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

Great question! When children purposely behave a certain way around certain people, yes, it's part of a power struggle and a form of manipulation. However, it's not necessarily a personal attack on you. They act that way to gain control for themselves and to control the situation. It usually isn't about getting at you for something to make you upset.

[@donikatod460]

@@TeachingSelfGovernment That makes sense. I guess. Still trying to fully conceptualize it, but I get the logic of "doing something for herself" vs "doing something against me". Thanks!

[@YourBookofMemories]

YOU ARE AMAZING!

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

Thank you!

[@user-ex3lg4nn4e]

Where could I find the modified rule of 3? My husband and I just started reading your book but didn’t know that the rule of 3 wouldn’t apply to my son yet (he’s 4 and his sister is 2-knew we’d definitely need to modify with her).

[@Warefamily2024]

I need this too

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

Great question! So, the modified Rule of Three is only used with small children when they've learned how to manipulate. I wouldn't think your 2-year-old would need it yet. The only thing that is modified in the Rule of Three is the consequences. Major maintenances that are normally a 30 min + chore for an older child would only be a 10 min chore with a younger child. SODAS would be done verbally. 24 hours loss of privileges would only be 2-4 hours. That's the only thing that's modified. Normally, the calm down spot is used until around age 7-8. Then the Rule of Three is pre-taught, then used from age 8-18. Hopefully this helps!

[@debbiejordan3099]

I need a calming kit please

[@melstar83]

There’s a link to it in the description.

[@Warefamily2024]

How do we nip things on the butt if they are so young that I don’t know what consequences they will be motivated by?

[@silverrose9248]

And they are so young they still don't understand the meaning behind the words you speak and have an attention span of 3 seconds!

[@mermaidanalise]

@@silverrose9248 Talk to them on a level that you know they will understand

[@bintutucker2105]

Still waiting for your reply I need help

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

Hi there! I haven't come across any other comments from you yet, but I'm happy to help as best as I can. If you really need to reach me, feel free to email [e-mail]. We should be able to help you there.

[@JamieleeSelamodi]

My daughter listen to her grandparents more than she listens to her dad and I

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

Sounds like there might be a "roles" issue. I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your questions on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

[@GueraG100]

I need help my son listens at home but acts out badly at daycare

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

Thanks for bringing that up! I'd love to answer that on my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. Here's a link for more information, if you're interested in getting my details answer to this question: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!

[@winstonramprashad866]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@ed3523]

Can I hate the fact that she is right about some stuff. I do take it personal. Smh

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

Sorry for the late response! Yes, you have every right to take it personal. :) But it won't help! If it's something you think will help you, you should think logically and make it happen! There are lots of people in situations similar to yours. There's hope! You've got this! teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/ I hope this helps!

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

Overreacting is a trap. The child gets low self esteem by it

[@rhondasullivan373]

I am a teacher I have four that dump out of toys

[@TeachingSelfGovernment]

That can be so annoying! I would teach them the skills Following Instructions and Accepting 'No' Answers And Criticism. These are two of our Four Basic Skills. If you'd like a little more information on those skills, here's a link to a video I've made about them: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y4GcdIyElLekfKM Hopefully that helps!

[@dylandestruction1321]

God I need help with a female 10 year old

[@anniejackson1077]

She cries terrible her iPad goes dead. Badly

[@TheTurbineEngineer]

Timeout in her room by herself for a minute or two? Keep peaking in saying "okay when you're calm you can come out."

[@netforce13]

She's addicted. This is addiction withdrawal symptoms. My son definitely did this too and I had sooooooo much mom guilt. I removed his ipad. Actually it broke and I dodnt get him another one. That was the only way I could learn as well bcz I had no way of setting a limit or boundary on it, I used to think it would be too hard. He's thriving now. Absolutely thriving. Simply remove the iPad from her daily routine. Tell her today the iPad is sleeping, it needs its rest. Or something. Or put it away somewhere your child can't find it and be like "I put it away. We can have it next week. I know you like it and want to play with it, but its not good for you. Its really bad and can make you sick." Cuz that isn't a lie. You decide your limit around the device.