How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (for good this time)

Comparing yourself and your work to other people and their work is mostly pointless... it usually just makes you feel bad. And I know you know it... intellectually, at least.
But just in case you aren't thoroughly convinced down to your core yet, let me show you why it's also an illusion. If I've got this video right, you'll never look at comparison quite the same way again.
See the 2021 Foundations Revealed Competition Entries here:
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Music (all from epidemicsound.com)
'Lens Flare' by Peter Sandberg
'Crystalline' by Dovetail
'Transcendence' by Johannes Bornlof
Edited by Sophie Black at @triskellepictures
/ @triskellepicturesuk
You can also follow me and see my own sewing on Instagram:
/ cathy.hay
Your letters and cards are welcome at Mr Worth's old place.
7 Rue de la Paix
Paris 75002
France
If you're in the UK, I also have an address here:
1 Northumberland Avenue
Trafalgar Square
London
WC2N 5BW
United Kingdom
Please don't send parcels - the fees to have them imported/forwarded to me are expensive! Contact me first if it's something special or important.
Thank you, thank you, to everyone who has sent something to me. It is deeply valuable to read your words in your own handwriting and hold them in my hands. It helps me to connect to who you really are, and what you really need from me. I read, enjoy and treasure every one. Thank you.

[@LixiaWinter]

Your videos are the closet equivalent of a hug

[@cornbreadfedkirkpatrick9647]

Yes, we are in need of those here lately.

[@vannahhall915]

Saw this quote yesterday: "Give yourself time to grow"

[@susiemeadows9838]

My son was despairing tonight (and trying to delay bedtime) that he didn’t have a Thing he was good at like everyone else. I told him the only reason I’m good at the thing he mentioned was that I had failed at it over and over again and kept trying. And then I watch this video. And you know what? Both ideas are spot on. We learn slowly, with every thing we make. And each one makes us better. Thank you, Cathy, for the reminder.

[@tetchedistress]

Thank You so much. I sat and argued with my treadle tonight, while I was busy making an external pocket, and the cuss words were flying all over the place. My machine is currently staring at me from behind because we both need a break from each other. Looking at the work I just did versus the work others have done would scare the crap out of me. Yet, I just said to my best friend tonight that I am not up to make a skirt. Knit a shawl, make mittens, socks, gloves... Sewing is not in my wheelhouse quite yet. Yet I too was 18 in 1991. I think I better go order that fabric, and knit while I wait for it to come in. I have a maxi skirt to draft and sew. (After I oil my treadle, and finish this pocket.)

[@OzDrysdale]

When I look at the dresses I made 30 years ago at 19 I actually surprise myself that I had done so well - considering all I didn't know. (eg. I didn't know about finishing seams... lol) But no sewing for many, many years and finally you've helped me find the courage to get started again ( so many historically-inspired garments to try!!) It will take me a little while to totally get back into the groove, I am sure, but practice makes perfect. Thank you for your wisdom.

[@halliep-s6880]

this was so inspiring! the first thing i made was a circle skirt that has all the same issues yours did. the second thing i made was a cloak for halloween that i’m still working on finishing. i’m at the very beginning of my sewing journey, but i love what i’ve been able to create so far, and i love getting to see where i might end up if i keep at it!

[@kellieb8865]

I'm just starting out making clothing, and while it's quite scary, I believe it will be like my bag and purse-making journeys - I still have the first purse/wallet (depending on your continent) I made in my sewing room, and the version I have that I use every day (being about my fifth version of that pattern) is definitely much sturdier and more neatly put together - but I still keep my first one on display, to remind myself improvement is happening!

[@monvan9082]

Love this advice... myself as someone is starting a new hobby in baking I always look at others and see the amazing work and wish I was as talented in decorating cakes. It’s always good to look at others and think wow if they can achieve this one day I will be able to do so, Everyone starts somewhere :) always be proud of your own progress

[@metis2be]

There are times a beginner feels like they're getting worse the more they do. It's not that their skill is going down, it's that their eye for what they're doing is getting better. There are 4 stages of competency. The first one is unconscious incompetence where a person doesn't even know what they don't know. The second is conscious incompetence where they are aware of all the things they don't know. The third is conscious competence where they understand what to do but have to work really hard at it. The fourth is unconscious competence where they can do something without even having to think about it. I feel like conscious incompetence is the hardest, because I know what I'm doing wrong and I know what I want to do, but can't. Getting through this stage is rough but extremely rewarding.

[@GreenMartha]

And it's a cycle, because once you reach competence in something you discover something more, something you're not yet competent at... there's also beauty in all the growing one can do !

[@carolinemaluca]

So true! As a beginner (not a young one though) myself i think exactly like that sometimes. And to make things worse i got sick and recovering now, can't practice because I got injured. I hope to get out of this soon and continue practicing. And by the way, I'm on the first unconscious incompetence.

[@jennbeammakes]

@@carolinemaluca I think it's more so as an adult learner, because in childhood a large part of education is designed to push you incrementally, smoothing out the curve

[@persephoneolympia3078]

Super struggling with this at the moment. All I need is 2 blouses, 3 skirts, a new petticoat, a dress, another waistcoat, a plain Eton jacket, accessories from the cabbage and a pair of cycling bloomers for spring/summer. Can't even look at the fabric without feeling like I've already failed. And I've made harder stuff than this already :\ idk what to do.

[@galwieltauren497]

@@persephoneolympia3078 the hardest thing to do is also the easiest: start. Pick one thing, put the rest aside in your head as much as you can and take that first step. Most of us know the feeling of being overwhelmed and ending up doing anything at all. To get a forest, you have to plant one tree at a time. Go and decide now what that first tree will be and get digging :-)

[@SuperMrsMar]

In 2019, at Costume College, I approached you and showed you the dress I was wearing; the first dress I had ever made. You told me you were impressed, that I had done a good job and you were proud of me. Then you gave me a big hug. I was so happy and it is still a powerful memory for me, that you were so genuinely proud and happy for me. Thank you for all that you do.

[@themurrrr]

It’s nice to hear when people turn out to be equally genuine in person. Especially when nowadays, so many people on youtube are disingenuous. Thank you for sharing this with us.

[@clydevan7757]

i guess I am kinda off topic but does anybody know a good place to stream newly released movies online ?

[@dannyjoaquin5862]

@Clyde Van try FlixZone. Just google for it =)

[@leoneldangelo3593]

@Danny Joaquin definitely, I have been watching on FlixZone for since april myself =)

[@clydevan7757]

@Danny Joaquin Thank you, signed up and it seems to work :D I appreciate it!!

[@HuwRichards]

Well I have no interest in fashion but could listen to you talk all day! Fantastic advice and super interesting, thank you so much!

[@ingrid6752]

Is it wrong I want her to read me bedtime stories?

[@LedgerAndLace]

@@ingrid6752 I think Cathy could read the phone book and it would be soothing and inspirational all in one!

[@ingrid6752]

@@LedgerAndLace I am certain of it!

[@TheP0rt]

What do you mean you don’t want to make a period correct ball gown to do your gardening in 😂😉❤️

[@HuwRichards]

@@TheP0rt Nope but maybe a 1930's waistcoat?😉

[@hattierensberry2526]

I'm in tears. This is the kind of content that young/beginning artists need. The retrospective is so valuable and important.

[@themurrrr]

Lately, I have been having the reverse. I see projects I finished years ago and I wonder: How on earth did I have the energy, motivation, etc to do this..... when today I struggle to even finish the simplest things like doing the dishes, taking a shower, combing my hair.... The struggle has been very real. And I recently got yet another big “setback” bringing me down. Sending love to everyone who is also struggling. ♥️

[@debd7631]

I think this year has been the hardest for a lot of people. There is no shame in that. I've been in a bad spot myself and have only been able to really function at 30% capacity. I've been doing little tiny project...handsewing Mostly because (1. I had no sewing machine and 2. I could only manage to work on something in short bursts) keep at it. Try some self care routines. Maybe do some really tiny projects to get you in the groove.

[@themurrrr]

@@debd7631 You are right about the tiny routines. This is how I started to get myself out of this slump before. I was starting to see results, small, but very present results. And then one of my cats died in late January and now I feel like I have been pushed down, all progress lost. But indeed, I just need to start again with the tiny routines and keep trying until there are results again. It’s just so frustrating to lose what little progress I had. And to also have to be dealing with loss. Anyway, just wanted to agree with your advice and say thank you ♥️

[@catmintable]

I completely agree, having partly retired last year when my job ended with quarantine. I find myself doing less and less, as well, and do marvel at how much I used to be able to do. Maybe now that it is spring I will find some renewed motivation. I hope you find some as well.

[@themurrrr]

@@catmintable Thank you for sharing your struggles and your kind words. Tho it is sad to hear others are also struggling, it does make me feel less alone ♥️

[@flueder]

Hope you'll soon find energy and motivation to do what you love.

[@robinhahnsopran]

I'm a singing teacher. Singing is so personal an action - our voice is very often connected with our sense of self, as you know - that the first about six months with most students are mostly focused on getting them over the years and years of "don't quite your day job" or even "shut up" that we've all been told before we begin lessons. My students do regularly confide in me that they think they'll never be good enough. They assume they are bad singers, and will always be bad singers, and that I simply rolled out of bed sounding the way I do one day. I tell them that when I was a kid in primary school, there was a girl in the schoolyard who wouldn't leave me alone, as nine-year-olds are wont to do, and the only way I could get her to stop bothering me was to sing, because when I did she would literally stick her fingers in her ears and run away screaming to drown me out. I then left that school, and shortly thereafter began taking voice lessons. Three years into those lessons (we must have been only thirteen or so), I met that girl again, and for a lark I began to sing, just to myself. She immediately plugged her fingers in her ears as she had done at school... and then slowly, bit by bit, pulled them out again, her scrunched up face relaxing as she heard me. That was one of my biggest personal triumphs in my singing journey, and to this day is one of my favourite singing memories. I was PROUD. Thank you for sharing your story. It's real, honest, and transcends all different forms of art and creativity.

[@ColorJoyLynnH]

I am a singer. I practiced into the mirror in elementary school, mid-late 1960’s, and planned to sing in New York as an adult. Well... in 1973 my daddy died and Mommy started paying for voice lessons. I was a voice major in college and dropped out... I am a performer, but not an Opera singer, composer or interested in teaching school. I quit singing for a dozen years, then met my beloved husband who is a brilliant Ukulele player. We sing popular love songs from the early 1900’s (up to early 30’s). We were invited to sing at the NYC Ukefest in 2006 & 2007. Mom came to my debut. a few years later I lost my voice entirely ... couldn’t even talk. It took a year but I found a specialist at University of Michigan Vocal Health Clinic. Mom again paid for therapeutic lessons (not covered by insurance despite in a Physician’s office) for 6 months... and because my car was undependable she loaned me her car to drive down there 1.5 hours one way, approximately once a week. I had to let go of the possibility of ever singing again. Yet, now I sing stronger than I ever have. During those years I didn’t sing, I did lots of comparisons and tried to be sophisticated... thankfully they left me whenI lost that marriage. Fortunately, I didn’t compare my singing. I don’t know where I am going with this, but it felt like a place I would be understood. Thanks for listening.

[@robinhahnsopran]

@@ColorJoyLynnH Thank you for sharing your story! Our voices are so personal, and it's always a journey, with all types of art. I so, so appreciate the time and energy you gave to sharing this today.

[@calicolyon]

I'm a vocalist and I have always loved to sing but I have rarely had the family support I have wanted. I'm an accomplished singer in my life I have made it to the provincial level of a world competition. Sadly my parents had to be dragged out to hear me compete.

[@CathyHay]

Thank you all for sharing your stories! These are highly relevant to my own voice journey, as you could probably hear!

[@robinscheffler1982]

Another Robin! Sadly, I am no singer(Can't sing to save my life), but I am an instrumentalist : Bassoon and Saxophone. I was hoping to find a comment about music in here to see if any other musicians felt the same as I did, and I found yours! Thank you so much for sharing your story! That is a wonderful thing, especially as a teacher, to be able to relate to a lot of the students.

[@Captain_Pink]

I stopped painting a few years ago because I didn't believe I was a good enough painter. I wish I could go back and hug that version of me and tell her she didn't have to be "a good enough painter" to be allowed to paint.

[@piecesofstarlight]

This is so important. We allow children to be freely creative without having to be "good" but expect ourselves to be masters before we can enjoy being creative. We need to go back for creating for the sake of our own joy and the joy of taking a group of materials and creating a whole. I mean, how magical is that?

[@furryfromfinley3602]

time you pucked up a canvas ans brush again, theres a joy in jush spashing down colour,

[@Faeriehood]

The fact that you can see that now, shows how you have grown and changed as a person. I hope that you have picked up the brush and painted the world in beautiful colors 🌈

[@Captain_Pink]

@@Faeriehood I'm working on many projects- for now, painting canvas itself is somewhat out of the picture, but I'm creating work again and it's wonderful, even if it's very different from the work I expected to be making ❤

[@Faeriehood]

@@Captain_Pink the most important thing is that you are doing it 💝 Creativity feeds the souls and you absolutely deserve it. The world needs more people like you 💝

[@santievandermerwe]

I bought an old hand cranked singer when I was about 14 or 15, and started to make my own clothes because I couldn't find anything I wanted to wear ready made. I happily made my own clothes for years. I could only afford polyester cotton, but I couldn't care less. An electric sewing machine was one of the first items I bought for myself, and it is true, I got better. But somewhere along the way I started to believe I am not good enough, because I never formally learned, and I stopped. Now I only sew stuff for my home. Your channel inspire me to start making my own clothes again. The good news is I do have a lot more patience now , and I can afford better fabric! I think I shall start off with a beautiful night gown, and a few old fashioned aprons ...

[@debbielough7754]

You are good enough. Getting to the level of being able to make the kind of dress that Cathy shows as the second dres takes time, and it takes practice. But it's not magic. I look back now at some of the things I made as a teenager, and now-me can see all the flaws in them. My A level costume (my first real historical costume) was made from curtains bought from a charity shop. 20-odd years on, I use wools and silks, and yes the materials help. But it's the intervening practice and familiarity, and muscle memory that help more. You can absolutely do it, and you are good enough. And even if you mess something up, it's not a waste. Because you're learning.

[@santievandermerwe]

@@debbielough7754 Thank you for you kind words. I am definitely going to try again.

[@brindmusicnerd]

And just think of all the information that is at your fingertips now on the internet to help you make even more progress- google to find patterns and answer questions, KZbin to show you techniques and tips, Pinterest and Instagram for inspiration, Facebook to connect with like-minded people, and other things I’m sure I haven’t thought of! Good luck with your journey 💚👍☺️

[@Faeriehood]

You bring up a very valid point. One that should be addressed in all sewing videos, tutorials, etc. Using quality tools & supplies. It changes the sewing experience completely and will make it more enjoyable. Many struggle and feel they are not good at sewing, when in reality, it’s often just bad quality fabric that you have to work harder at in order to make it look like anything 💝

[@calmamatheuzinho]

As a person who loves historical sewing that can hardly mend stockings, I feel encouraged to start making things myself after this.

[@HelenBeeee]

Thats what I did the other day Ive got failing eyesight and Im 56 and I sewed myself a simple lavendar bag by hand to put in my linen cupboard. Its a little wonky but like my everyday life I rushed it so Ive decided to make another one but take it slowly apply a little more care. Ive discovered the first thing about hand sewing the slow careful approach produces the best results and this is a lesson Ill be taking into other areas of my life in the future.

[@cassievanbrunt7791]

Dude!!! Mending stockings is hard!! If you can do that, you can do anything with practice.

[@Raegrea]

I have no clue how to mend anything. 😂 That means there’s something left for me to learn. 💕 Treat yourself well, dear human!

[@furryfromfinley3602]

wait you can mend stokings neatly! that is a skill i lack yet can make a full dress, perfect opportunity to mentor each other.

[@TranquilityChiba]

You should go for it! If you have questions look for youtube tutorials or ask people in your life. I've found that most crafters love to share their interests, myself included.

[@DouglasMilewski]

I write novels. Every year, I write better ones, or at least different ones. Don't ask me what I sell, because I don't sell. Yet, not selling means that I'm free to push my boundaries, to produce what pleases me. Ten years ago, I could never have envisioned the novels that I've now produced. Its the same for every creative and technical skill. Time + Practice = Awesome.

[@vannahhall915]

Love that: Time + Practice = Awesome!

[@rebeccacuthbertson1271]

Miss Cathy I was completely unprepared for the feels trip you just took us on. Thank you for your constant love and support that you give all of us via the internet. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[@user-ii8dz4vu7n]

I got your email about this video and seeing it personalized with my name, and having been struggling with this exact issue since the pandemic started, I burst into tears. Thanks you Cathy, this means the world to me

[@P3891]

I treat you like a catholic saint, and think to myself when I’m in a jam “what would Cathy do?”

[@introspectiver1787]

Listening to Cathy legit made me cry.

[@themurrrr]

I’m really struggling lately. Hearing your voice getting stronger with each vid.... it is motivating.

[@ColorwaveCraftsCo]

I've noticed that too!! Kathy is such an inspiration! Thoughts and prayers to you Anna!

[@themurrrr]

@@ColorwaveCraftsCo Thank you, Jess ♥️ I really appreciate it

[@charpirate]

I'm a medical student and this was relevant to me. I get so worried and compare myself to my peers and to people well ahead of me in this career. This was such a good reminder. Thank you so much.

[@SapientRedux]

Do you know what they call a medical student that graduated with C’s? Doctor. Keep working and keep learning and keep compassion in your heart and you will be a good doctor

[@Faeriehood]

My husband experienced the same thing during medical school. The fact that you can make it through medical studies proves that you are a strong powerful person that can over come anything! One day, the new students will be looking at you and comparing themselves . Keep your head up...keep at....this world need more lovely people like you, Doctor Charlotte 🥰

[@OrthodoxMidwife]

I am currently making my first “thing.” I am trying to take a lot of time and care, and found myself getting stuck in that rut of not finishing something. One of Cathy’s recent videos “how to finish what you start every time” mentioned that sometimes, you just need the right tool to help you. She was totally right. God aligned things perfectly and I was able to buy an antique singer machine from 1890, my first machine. The thing I am making now is almost done. It probably won’t even fit, but it will be done, and I can be proud of it. Happy making 💜

[@aimsical285]

This is exactly what I needed to hear today! I'm learning to love how humans are constantly changing. We are not static beings and every thing we do can bring us closer to the goals we have, no matter how small the steps are.

[@NutzerWurdeGeloescht]

This does also apply to life in general. Due to mental illness my self-esteem is rather low. I judge myself more harshly than I would do with the people around me, and, of course, I compare myself to others and feel inferior to them. But by now, I have learned to take a step back and ask myself: "What would 13yo you think if they saw you now?" And honestly? She would be pretty damn impressed.

[@AragornElessar]

my first ever dress has no seam allowance but an invisible zip I was so proud of. I attached a white shirt collar so it looked like a Wednesday Adams dress. now I'm going to school to become a bespoke tailor I see the flaws in that first dress but also that I learned from it and now I am not afraid of zips. (I removed that shirtcollar from the dress because it got really dirty and being washed with the black dress messed up the colour.)

[@fionafiona1146]

I still make the mistake to forget different finishing needs different seam allowances! Viel Erfolg in der Ausbildung!

[@AragornElessar]

@@fionafiona1146 thanks

[@badger172]

Cathy! you inspired me to make a frog plush friend!! thank you so much.

[@Rosa-zr5ql]

Can you please stop being in my head and know exactly what I need to hear?! (Thank you so much for these videos)

[@Tnananas]

Your words of encouragement are always so on the nail! I definitely needed the reminder not to compare 😌 thank you for being you!

[@CristyEdith]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you. I am now 30 and I gave up 10 years ago because I didn’t believe I was good enough. 10 years later I’m just now realizing that it takes practice and patience. At 30 I’ve just started to live.

[@Tiger89Lilly]

I'm 31 and it was last year that I too got the confidance to do what the hell I want and I too only just started to live too. I feel so free now and I have realised I only have to be good enough in everything for me

[@CristyEdith]

@@Tiger89Lilly “I only have to be good enough in everything for me” yes!!! I love that and agree! ☺️

[@lisam5744]

I love this! And, if I may add, learn to forgive yourself for not being as far along the path as others are. We'll all get there eventually. Enjoying the journey rather than speeding to the destination...that's where you'll find the happiness.

[@hellsingmongrel]

I haven't had a chance to make clothing for myself, but I make clothes for my ball jointed dolls. Part of the reason I subacribe to your channel and others like it is because I want to be able to learn how to sew historical garments myself, for myself and my dolls. In the time I've begun sewing their teeny, tiny clothes, I've learned it's better and easier for me to sew by hand, and how to draft my own and modify existing patterns to make what I need. Just a month or so ago, I decided to tackle my biggest project yet - sewing two entire wardrobes of dress shirts, pants, sweaters, and fully-lined victorian suit coats for some of the smallest range of dolls, the 1/6 size dolls. These are dolls that are only about the height of a barbie doll, but with the porportions of toddlers, so they're the size of children for the largest dolls, and lemme tell you, it has been SO HARD, but SO MUCH FUN! And just a few years ago, I never thought I would have the ability or knowledge to be able to do this! It's amazing, the steps you see yourself making when you just go out and do the thing! Also, maybe I'm just emotional because of my shark week is coming up, but THIS VIDEO MADE ME HAPPY-WEEPY! 😭

[@DodiTov]

Bravo! Designing doll clothes is a world unto itself. You succeeded in a world where proportions are vastly different, techniques are wildly difficult, and finding suitable fabrics next to impossible. Your persistence is amazing and I applaud you! Why? I'm a doll restorer, so I know the problems you faced.

[@TheSharpenedPencil]

You have such kind eyes. Every time you smile at the camera I feel like you are smiling directly at me and I know I'm in a safe place. Thank you for all that you do

[@TheSpindrift76]

I must share with how much I needed to watch this today. I've want to start sewing for years but my fear of failure stopped me. I'm getting married next year and I'm wanting to sew the shift underneath. I honestly feel more confident now to start the project. Thank you.

[@themurrrr]

Congratulations on your pending nuptials May you have a long and happy marriage ♥️

[@Faeriehood]

It’s terrible how that “failure” gets in our way preventing us from doing the things we love. The fact that you are wanting to make that shift proves that you are over coming your boundaries. May it be the loveliest shift that was ever made and that you treasure it forever. Sending you load of creative vibes 🌈

[@CameoFarmer]

Oh yay! You made my day! I've been waiting for you next video to come out!

[@romywolfofficial]

I get so intimidated by sewing even though I want to make historical gowns so badly (and have made a few in the past), because I see these gorgeous costumers online and feel like I shouldn't even try because I'll never be as good as them, so this video hit home for me. Cathy, you're a magnificent human being. Thank you for your peptalk. I needed it badly.

[@Faeriehood]

The fact that you have made historical gowns before is something to be very proud of! That is no easy feats, be proud of that accomplishment. When you get those feelings that you will never be as good.....use that as your motive....prove to yourself that you are equally good as them. Show the world that you can even be better 💝💕

[@ColorwaveCraftsCo]

Every iconic dress historian had to get her start somewhere!! 💖

[@AllThePeppermint]

And his start! Where would we be if any of the Worth men decided they weren't good enough to design gowns?

[@Pumora]

Your entire hem was embroidered with french knots? Ok, now you are definitely my hero :D After many years of sewing and embroidering, I still look fondly at my first works. Even though the technical skills were not really there, the idea of the project often was what I loved about each project. I still have one project here that is absolutely not a great piece in terms of technique, but it is exactly how I imagined it in my head. It is such a precious thing to be able to pull something out of thin air and make it a reality no matter the skill level.

[@pomegranatepixie]

You’ve made my day once again, Cathy! I definitely needed this video to help me have more confidence in my work! Thank you so much for this! ❤️❤️❤️

[@bianchiesperia1148]

This video arrived at the end of a sluggish and tough week. As usual, Fridays are a little bit brighter thanks to your messages. Thank you very much for your effort!

[@bdgies2721]

Well spoken, Cathy. Besides sewing, I spend equal or more time as a spinner. People will say things like “Oh, you’re so talented!” I reply that it’s more an affinity to the craft than any special talent, but more importantly, it’s doing this work for 40 years spinning thousands of km of yarn that makes the difference. Showing up every day... Every. Damned. Day.

[@ArwenUndomiel406]

🥺 👉🏻👈🏻 How did you know?

[@StormyIness]

Thank you so much for making such an encouraging video!❤️Thanks to your last video I finished the painting I was procrastinating from making for a year!

[@TheMetatronGirl]

You continually remind me of lessons I’ve learned, yet have somehow begun to ignore. Thank you for bringing me back, again, and for being such a wonderful voice of positivity and love.

[@chantellejobagy5016]

Thank you so much, Cathy!!! 🥰❤❤❤ I've been really unmotivated to do anything for a long while, but this helped. Even school work seemed overwhelming let alone pursuing my art. I let myself indulge in day dreams all day long about how I will be this amazing artist like so-and-so, but never do anything about it. I find it hard to get up and do anything because my art isn't "there" yet. But if I keep sitting here my dreams will never come to fruition.

[@indruluc0074]

wow 10 seconds ago im really early

[@anaisabelsantos4661]

There is one thing worst that comparing yourself to others, there is allowing someone else compare your work with others that are not on your skill level.

[@CathyHay]

That's rough, I'm sorry to hear that. People can say whatever they like, but you get to choose who to listen to. I suggest you get out a piece of paper and a pen and write a list of people whose opinions truly matter. There *should* be some people on that list, but it should be a very short list. ❤️

[@robintheparttimesewer6798]

Learning to ignore people is hard! I had a “friend” who didn’t sew or craft who was always nitpicking my makes or comparing them to stuff way beyond my level. You will notice I said had. As the saying goes with friends like that who needs enemies!!

[@lohowlett1891]

Thank you. I'm going to show this to my son after school today. He constantly puts himself down when someone else is better than he is. He never sees how far he comes on.

[@praline01]

“A plant grows slowly, a set of skills grow slowly. Sometimes you got to look at the time laps version to see a progression, to see how things are changing. Because your skills grow so slowly that you can’t see it happening in real time.” That my friend, is beautifully said❤️

[@fabscoto]

Mrs. Hay, you're so charismatic, I love how much wisdom you share with us through your humorous and nonchalant manner 🤗💖 thank you so much for your authenticity

[@anieth]

I get this with art. I love how you talk about the journey. But I always say to people who say, "I wish I could draw like you," "are you willing to put in the time?" Usually they say "no." When I teach art, I say "professional is 10,000 hours." This is about 3 hours a day for 10 years, or almost five years at full time. I always post my first drawing at 12 with my current drawings and say "60,000 hours," which is what I have done. The same thing with sewing. You yourself have probably put in about 50,000 hours in sewing, at least. I had a brilliant art teacher who could teach anyone to draw. And he always said rather loudly "THERE IS NO TALENT, ONLY WORK!" The only skills you need are persistence, patience and practice. As usual, Cathy, very inspiring!!

[@67jpt]

I showed my daughter this video. She is just starting her new photography business and is extremely nervous. Wonderful advice!

[@jeannieboniface]

Most of my sewing is in stuffed animals, and I adore looking back at the ones I was stitching a decade ago to the ones I do today to remind myself about where my skills have improved. Where I've learned things that younger me didn't really think was all that important....(it's going to be a rounded shape, is ironing the pieces before cutting really going to make all that much of a difference...yeah, it does) and I've learned how to make my sewing space work better to accomodate those skills. But when I was 20 and was making extra spending cash by helping girls in my dorm with minor alterations I never thought that by the time I was 35 I'd be tearing down a wall in my house to double the size of my sewing room, because my stuffed animal business had grown to the point where it wasn't just feasible, it was necessary. Now I'm 40, and I'm thinking about finally getting back to figuring out the layers and processes I want to use to build an outfit that my ancestors would be proud of, an outfit I've been collecting materials for for about a decade at this point. :)

[@melissaquinn1463]

I’ve felt discouraged by other’s words. Back when I was a newbie costumer in the 90’s, I considered attending a CostumeCon but I was dissuaded after hearing previous attendees stories of expensive workshop fees and the presumption that everyone would have multiple gorgeous costumes each day. It seemed like I wouldn’t reap much benefit from the experience, so I didn’t go. Decades later, though I vaguely regret not taking the opportunity, I’ve learned so much and continue to master new skills and technologies. I felt small for a bit but ultimately it lit a fire in my belly that led to gaining a fashion design certificate and starting my own studio.

[@existent6137]

Not sewing, because I haven't had the time this semester with classes, but definitely the motivation to get out and run today!

[@benmasi2483]

I needed this so badly. As someone trying to break into video game art, all I can do it seems is compare myself to others and it’s been really hard. It’s especially difficult when you’re trying to make a career out of your passion as you might be able to relate. Thanks Cathy 💖

[@your_dad_on_vacation]

The more I research the more I feel like historical dress making is like pole dancing. There are people who are better than me, and somehow I learned to be inspired instead of intimidated by the talent these people have. When I see someone performes advanced level tricks I tell myself "I can do that" and I try it, fail, and laugh at myself and set a goal for myself. When I see someone make a beautiful historical garment I tell myself "I can do that" and I try to recreate it, fail, and learn so many new thing's and set a goal for myself.

[@shaniamingle4261]

You are such an amazing woman to watch, you inspire so much I'm me.

[@mistletoekiss4327]

Working on an antique trunk atm and this pep-talk from you has greatly helped my frame of mind regarding my project. Sometimes we need to believe in ourselves so we can accomplish ourselves. Thank you ❤️

[@janinehancock9767]

Thank you for this video, feeling a little down at the moment but now have a zeal to carry on.

[@crystalkanaley6570]

That was beautiful and so encouraging. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you!

[@annamoore8181]

Your advice lightened my heart and put a smile on my face. Thank you for reminding me to stop comparing myself to others and look back to where I started. I'm proud of myself.

[@TheAngelofBlood]

This is something I am constantly doing, without even thinking about it and I quite often forget to remind myself of where I started and where I am now. I am still way off from where I want to be but I have come a long way compared to that starting point. Thank you for the reminder ♥

[@KattGothica]

Thank you so much. I absolutely love your pep talks. Even tho I tell others well yeah but I've been doing this for 10 years, practice and you'll get there. I still look at others work and think OMG I'm no where near that level of amazing and I get overwhelmed or give up on something that doesn't measure up. So thanks so much for reminding me to take a step back and not compare myself to anyone. I'm going to look back at somethings I've make and remember to keep improving and learning. This is fun and as long as I'm having fun and I'm happy nothing else matters.

[@lornas-w4661]

Bless you Cathy for having the wit, strength, sense, drive and kindness to Lift Others Up. You make such a difference. Thank you.

[@annacatherinesendgikoski1965]

Thank you, wonderful perspective. Had I not stopped sewing 20 years ago, I would be so much better. But, I am taking it slow and steady. I will get there!

[@BonesofStarlight]

I've struggled with myself for years, getting caught and allowing myself to become trapped by refusing to continue just because I don't see improvement. That time lapse speech, and looking back at where I was and what I've accomplished, was exactly the gentle encouragement I needed. I 💜 you for this. Thank you.

[@classicslover]

Spot on advice, as always, Cathy! By the by...do you have a beginner level category for sewing buttons? Or...stapling pant cuffs, perhaps? I'm also quite adept at sewing together holes in jeans with the wrong colour thread. I also once closed a hole in my skin with the very hot muffler of a chain saw, but I'm guessing you don't have a category for that. It's just as well, though..as it is not an experience I'm anxious to repeat ;)

[@adchoalulle387]

Thank you so much for this. The first costume I've ever sewn made me so proud (actually... I think I was around 18 then :D), and I got some lovely compliments for it. However, when I took it out several years later, looking for something to wear for a halloween party, I was shocked how bad I was when I started. That was a bad feeling. This video made me think about that moment and actually changed my view. It's not important that I was "worse" then. I've learned so much since then, and I wouldn't be where I am now, had I not made that really-not-that-well-made dress a dozen years ago. It's currently in a box, waiting to be cut up and reused, if the fabric is fitting a project. But now I think I will keep it to remind myself that I've made really great progress. Again, thank you. This was worth sharing.

[@katherinemorelle7115]

I look back at my first ever garment I sewed- also a circled skirt. I see the lettuced hem, and the pleats I had to put into the back because I cut the waistband on the bias. But you know what? I still wear it. Lettuce hem and all. I probably will go back in one day and redo the hem- using bias tape, which is now my favoured method for finishing curved hems. But no one really sees how badly the hem is done, and it’s a perfectly serviceable calf length black cotton broadcloth circle skirt. The only real issue with it is that every single bit of lint, dust and hair sticks to the cotton. But it’s fine. I’m right now making a pair of 18th century stays for myself. Something I couldn’t even imagine doing just one year ago, when I sewers that circle skirt. I know you say skills grow slowly, and maybe it will slow down significantly now I’m no longer a beginner- but I’ve seen my abilities grow hugely in the last year. I thought it would be years and years before I’d feel comfortable and confident enough to make something like stays, or the rest of my working class 18th century outfit. But it’s been exactly one year. I made my circle skirt in March 2020. It’s been such a gratifying journey, and I can’t wait to keep going, to keep increasing my skills. And to see where I am in another year, or two, or ten. And I’ve learned about myself in the time I’ve been sewing. I’ve discovered that I love hand sewing. I find it very meditative. And that I have a knack for making very neat little back stitches. (Still by far my favourite hand stitch because they look so neat and uniform on the outside of my garments). My confidence in myself generally has grown. I love that I can make clothing that I like, that fits me perfectly in both style and size. It’s not a cheap hobby, but it is still cheaper than commissioning the clothing that I like (which I couldn’t afford, and which would be the only way to get the garments I want). And I have also discovered that so many historical solutions work perfectly as accessible clothing- and given how ugly and uncomfortable I find most disability accessible clothing, that’s a wonderful discovery! No more plastic and Velcro! I’ve learned that I can be more comfortable in the middle of an Aussie summer, covered neck to ankle, than I was in short sleeves and a knee length skirt back when I wore polyester. That’s also been a wonderful discovery. And corsetry! That’s been literally life changing for me, as I can now sit up much longer in my wheelchair, which means I can go out for the day now. That’s made a huge difference to my life. It’s just been a wonderful journey. I’ve learned so much, grown so much, and been able to dress in a way that makes me feel good about myself. Excuse the blabbing, I just wanted to share how wonderful this has been, and it’s people of CosTube that got me started on this journey. So I’m incredibly grateful for that- thank you so much!

[@pamsapyta906]

Whenever I'm down and need a pick-me-up, I watch one of your videos. They're wonderful affirmations of not only who I can be, but who I *currently* am. Thank you so very much.

[@michelecraig9658]

Thanks. I needed this today...the mistakes of making Victorian skirts and hemming them without the proper undergarments, sewing from historically inaccurate patterns, all of it sometimes makes me wonder about my skills. Even sewing something like a little dress for my granddaughter fills me with self doubt. Luckily, I enjoy the process. During this pandemic, I have seen five Mennonite Cape dresses in succession, tweaking the pattern each time and using different fabrics. I have learned so much about technique, fabric drape, dart placement and accuracy. Each dress fits entirely differently. Only by making mistakes and experimenting can we grow and learn!

[@colorcrazy2944]

Progress Not Perfection. If you keep trying you will improve. You have shown that so clearly with these dresses. It is like your friend climbing the mountain 1 step at a time. At the moment I don't do much besides watch KZbin. I enjoy watching people creating these amazing clothes. I am also watching people who do coloring books, it feels like it might be about my skill level atm. lol Johannah Basford had a video drawing this saying. It has probably been around a long time, I have no idea who made said it first. There are probably similar sayings out there too. It makes sense to me.

[@tzutari]

Well, that gave me a good cry. Every time I’d been drawing lately I’d been beating myself up and comparing myself to people younger and more talented than I, hating the school system I grew up with for discouraging art or dismissing it as a valid career path. Thank you, Cathy. I’m going to go sketch.

[@Alice-tn5xb]

I love it! I am also stunned by your voice! It's a beautiful voice, and the words you choose makes me want to losten more and more! You smile and that makes me smile, seeing somebody happy. Also, I look at the first skirt I am making, my very second sewing project, and I look at it fondly now ;)

[@r.m.4653]

I really appreciate your introductions Cathy. I feel like I am sitting across from you and you are speaking directly to me. It feels more personal and friendly. Thank you! God bless you!

[@TropicanaThunda]

Things that make you truly stop and think. Thank you Cathy. I've been kind of beating myself up about a 18th century shirt I had started and was/am picking apart my work and the pointing out the flaws. But Also I have gained a bunch of weight through pregnancy that has shifted the measurements somewhat so the sleeves and shoulders were out of wack with how my previous body worked with it. It's a first real project except for a skirt that I did something horrendous to the waistband that needs fixing somehow but Im seeing between the two pieces an improvement in stitch quality, seams, and overall how it looks in general. Your video here just put it into perspective for me.

[@anikahenrikson1026]

I absolutely treasure your videos, Cathy. Not just because you’re working on interesting projects, but because you address so many mental health issues involved in creating and learning a new skill. You’re an inspiring person and your calming energy helps keep me from panicking about my own skills. It’s easy to get overwhelmed as a beginner when you see so many advanced makers like yourself reproducing amazing work but you always frame your advice in an encouraging way for those of us just getting into this world. 😊

[@annaradcliffe]

This is so true and important to remember when we're down on ourselves! I'd also add that being good at something isn't in itself that valuable-it doesn't make you a better person, it doesn't necessarily make you happier, it doesn't even mean people will like you. It's also important to ask why you're doing the thing in the first place-if it's for the love of it, then you'll enjoy it whether you're bad or good. If it's to make the world a better place, you can find ways to do that without being the best. If it's to make other people like you... well, they may admire you, but friendship and love are not built on admiration alone. I spent so long trying to be the best at everything, and it made me miserable. For me, letting go of being good at stuff and focusing instead on why I want to do the thing has brought joy back into my life. You don't have to be perfect to be happy!!!

[@jessandthepast]

This gave me goosebumps! Thank you Cathy for reminding us that we should all appreciate the journey to becoming a better costumer and should never get discouraged so easily. I am really proud how much I progressed and I am excited to see what I will learn next over the years to come.

[@lumindoesvideos]

Talent varies. If you give up on actually using that talent, it will wither away like a plant that hasn't been watered in a while. You just gotta keep trying and keep watering your talent like it's a beautiful plant and it will stay alive and keep growing. Also, even your beginner dress was good, especially for a 18 year old going off of just pictures. I doubt you had an actual pattern for the dress, and while the skirt was probably the easy part, to get a the bodice part right probably took a few failed tries.

[@DraganGrazic]

how wil i ever be as good as that person? practice, practice, practice. it takes years, but perfection takes time, never ever give up. i just hemmed a pillow case i made months ago. not perfectly but it will work. on to the next one. and one day i will make myself that uniform.

[@donab1369]

I don't know how you do it. Every time I stop and just want to give up, so many things going on outside of my control, but then I find you again and realize at 63 I can still do better. Thank you

[@WayToVibe]

This is me and my cooking skills. Years ago I couldn't even boil eggs without getting them overdone or underdone. Now I don't even need a timer or measuring devices for most of the cooking I do. I'm comfortable winging ingredients I don't have or adding more of what I like. I also sew, but not as often as I cook. This video is inspiration for me to sew more, though, if my sewing skills can someday be as good as my cooking skills.

[@TheCanIHelpYou]

This was insanely motivating for me. For years I've wanted to learn to sew, this year I made my daughters first birthday dress and it's not perfect but it was perfect for her day. Now I want to make all the things

[@nancywhite2014]

That goes for any skill set, arts or craft. Gaining confidence is a progressive experience. Thanks for sharing Cathy.

[@glitterpunk6]

Tears welled in my eyes watching this, I was so close to balling my eyes out! lmao! Cathy this is a wonderful visual way to give this piece of advice, thank you always for your truly kind and constantly inspiring videos! Ive been feeling stuck in a rut for that last couple of years, unsure of where to go, how to follow my creative passions and too scared to start, due to comparing myself to others Im going to think hard on this and perhaps try to take that scary step forward with it in mind

[@MsMonikaBar]

This is so motivating 🙏💖 thank you! Much love from Portugal 💕

[@Faeriehood]

Beautifully said. I often encounter “beginning sewers” that say, Oh I can’t, I’m not creative enough, It will never look like that. I try and gently remind them that’s it’s just a matter of practice & patience. Take one stitch, then another and your journey begins. Often they will compare themselves to another, which in my personal opinion, is very healthy to the learning experience but instead of viewing as “you can’t “ view it as “ I can try” . As you said each of us are own our own journey and that is not always smooth sailing. There are times I cuss like a sailor, there I times I feel that I can’t....then I remind myself. Start with one stitch, then another. If your reading this, and your new to sewing or struggling...It’s ok that it’s not perfect or as good as another’s. It’s uniquely you, a one of a kind, and you too will grow from it. One day....we will learn from you 💝💝

[@TranquilityChiba]

I still have my first dress none of the interior seems were hemmed so the skirt and bodice are coming apart. I was and am still so dang proud of my first dress made out of spite. I have fond memories of my begining projects so I keep them. They help me see how I've grown.

[@EmmyGuitar]

So comforting and inspiring, thank you for sharing your words of wisdom. I’ve been thinking and worrying about this a lot lately and I can’t tell you how much solace this video has brought me! 💕

[@lizadams7662]

I had this experience spindle spinning this year. I looked at singles I'd spun a few years ago when I started, and saw not only how much better my yarn is, but I understood why it's better. I now see what movements create that better thread, and how to do it at will. It's like a teacher looking at student work. And it cheered me up to see the progress.

[@schoolofup-sewing7523]

Heartwarming and highly motivating. And, of course, you are so right!

[@conqueringmountscrapmorewi2509]

I am new to your channel but I'm hand sewing quilt blocks so never get to comment. Always so inspiring! Thank you for posting this video and for all that you do!

[@kathleenroberts6357]

Hi Cathy, if you had the time, would you be willing to re-create your Monroe dress again?

[@catmintable]

I don't think my progress is all one direction, at least mine isn't. I drafted a top pattern last year and, kind of, didn't put my best into it and it shows. I have to redo the top because drafted the front wonky. Thank you for all you do.

[@swiinka]

I would argue that your 18-year-old self and you today are *not* the same person! All you two have in common is your DNA, the name and first 18 years of life story. And all the learning, experiences, dreams and projects in between made you into this whole new person. What connects the two of you is the passion for dressmaking.

[@Odenessan]

I had some eight years old kids in the school where I was helping out in that told me that they wished they could write by hand as nice as me but I told them that I wrote as bad as them when I was eight but I have never given up and just kept writing and that is why I can do what I can today. The more you practice, the better you will become.

[@HelenBeeee]

Sound life advice for everyone facing any challenge at any stage of life thank you Cathy!