How to stop feeling self conscious in social situations - Focus of attention and social anxiety

A Cognitive Behavioural Self help video on how to stop feeling self conscious in social situations. When we feel anxious in social situations we tend to focus on what is happening internally for us which lead us to notice our negative thoughts and sensations more. A technique that can help with this is redirecting your attention outwards on to other people, noticing what they are saying, doing, the tone of their voice, paying very close attention on purpose in the present moment (similar to mindfulness techniques). By practicing this technique on a regular basis you will start to feel less anxious in social situations.
#socialanxiety #anxiety #confidence

[@vaibhawkr3904]

I have social anxiety and self consciousness is my biggest problem. I have seen many help videos and articles talking about how were not do avoidance to social situation and and try to put ourselves more in it and the social anxiety would go down. They dont understand that the problem is, once I do put myself in social situation, I get self conscious and i am not able to perform, and it sucks to be in that state. And this is the cycle. If I could perform and enjoyed being in social situation why would i avoid it in first place? So I need solution to how not to be or how to be less self-conscious when talking to people. This video talks on point regarding it and i come back to time to time to remember the things said. Could you make more and detailed videos on this particular topic? Thanks for help

[@dr.beckyspelman]

Vaibhaw kr thank you for your comment, we are pleased you find this video helpful, and thank you for your feedback for future videos, we will take this all on board :)

[@krs7934]

Yeah, man I am dealing with the same situation, do you have any progress? Because I am so freaked out because of this.

[@vaibhawkr3904]

@@krs7934 yeah keep practicing focusing outward and less in yourself while in social situation. Slowly your brain will start rewiring too. It will time , years may be but slowly there will be progress

[@xaxaxa12]

@@vaibhawkr3904 nd brother when keeping ur attention towards outside environment, how did u overcome self doubt during tht situation or how did u raise ur self esteem in social situations?

[@mission1-2-1]

Active listening takes you so far, however a conversation requires a two way dialogue to be fluid. Once the questions start coming your way and you have to turn your attention inwards to reference an appropriate response you are then in the reals of self consciousness and the anxiety creeps up.

[@dr.beckyspelman]

Hi there, thank you for your comment. Please let us know if you would like to arrange a free 15 minute call back with one of our therapists. Kind Regards, Jade Psychological Practitioner Private Therapy Clinic

[@EmilyJohnson-wi2zd]

Private Therapy Clinic how do I get this free phone call?

[@beniditolevu1074]

@@dr.beckyspelman hi, is this free 15 minute call back still available???

[@do0mm]

Usually in public places I get all nervous and self conscious thinking that everyone's staring at me and watching my every move so I start to fidget and forget how to walk. I guess all this stress and worrying is what's bringing down my self esteem. I wanna try out for the basketball team at my school but im so scared to go to try outs because I feel like everyone's gonna stare at me. I've had 3 breakdowns just thinking abt it..

[@dr.beckyspelman]

We can offer you a free 15 minute phone call with one of our therapists? Please email [e-mail] to book your free call

[@ceeIoc]

So then stare and judge them back

[@skorpio88]

I'm 35 and I've dealt with the Exact same experience majority of my life and yesterday I had a real bad episode. I hope you're doing much better and is free from this Torment and hopefully 1 day I wake up from this Nightmare 🙏🏿

[@BambiePark2210]

Me too. I'm thinking that they are thinking about me so I became more anxious and my body is trembling. I'm living this kind of mindset for almost a years. It's so extremely tiring

[@Hannah-sr9tr]

@@BambiePark2210this is exactly how i feel. It’s such a struggle to just go outside. For example when I’m just walking I feel like everyone is staring at me and crossing the road is the worst. I literally don’t know what to do with myself standing there

[@ritamaynard]

My parents / family just call me narcissistic or self centered I wish I could show them this video

[@dr.beckyspelman]

Hi there, I am sorry to hear this, would you like to book a free 15 minute call back with one of our therapists to discuss this? Kind Regards, Jade Psychological Practitioner Private Therapy Clinic

[@do0mm]

I feel you, my mom says my anxieties are fake and that i just want attention

[@LanzX502]

@@do0mm damn nothing worse than people not understanding your struggles or just assuming you’re faking it

[@peachaesthxtic23]

My biggest fear and insecurity is people finding out about my innocence, naivete, dumbness, low confidence and self esteem and my childishness. I m scared that i wont get the respect and value from them as their peer. I went through some trauma in 2020, and since them i have been feeling lost and confused about everything and feel like i have lost my sense of self and identity as a person. I used to be a confident and sharp minded person before but after my trauma im a broken individual who has lost herself. After the pandemic, i developed generalized anxiety disorder. My self consciousness in public started like that.

[@nicholasfrasco2947]

You deserve respect and value because you are a human person.

[@AMaria-py6th]

This video is really great… This information’s which are very helpful for all of us… It helps me so much to know about it…👌👌

[@dr.beckyspelman]

miss maria Thank you for your comment, we are pleased you found the video informative

[@Brock-Lesnar-WWE]

I have severe social anxiety and self consciousness. When I'm walking on the road idk where to look and i keep thinking of myself in everyone else's point of view and how they are seeing me. I'm always daydreaming every single minute and "not there". What can I do?

[@dr.beckyspelman]

Sorry to hear this, we can offer you a free 15 minute phone call with a member of our team to discuss psychological treatment options. Please email us [e-mail] to book a free call.

[@1Strawbz1]

my social anxiety is bad when im in gymnastics class i just feel so self conscious like everyone i staring at me & judging me, ive had it since a kid. Its horrible but gets a bit easier ill try these tips

[@dr.beckyspelman]

Sorry to hear you are experiencing this, we can offer you a free 15 minute phone call with one of our therapists to discuss Psychological treatment options for this?

[@RoMy-hs6rb]

I'm scared of being judged when I'm not focusing on my facial expressions :///

[@freefrombondageofself]

Ty for this 🎉

[@tranphuongthao8965]

Thank you so much 😊 ❤️

[@roqeebahrufai2919]

Wonderful video. Thank you.

[@dr.beckyspelman]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@xaxaxa12]

But ppl say tht we should be aware of ourselves to raise our consciousness...so sir in which situations self consiousness required nd in which situations, outer ppl or environment consciousness?

[@marouan4642]

Hi, I think i'm a really self concious person but it started only 2 years ago because I moved to another country where I struggled to make friends cause I didn't really find people with who I share commun intrests so I talked to them and laughed with them sometimes but I considered them only as acquaintances and not really friends cause I saw them only at school and we didn't go out or something like that, so that made me lose a lot of self-confidence and starting thinking that I'm boring or that I'm not in the same level as others. So outside of school I kind of started isolating myself(not a lot it just that I stopped going out like I used to do before moving) and I think that this is the main cause of my selfconciousness cause before I was kinda shy but I always enjoyed going out with people and I've had normal social situations without overthinking what people think of me or how I look, talk, walk and I've never had before the feeling that everyone is staring and me or judging me. So I think that the cause of this big change of my personality is moving from my country to another society that have differents habits and a different culture. So finally I think that I'm only self concious and don't have social anxiety cause I don't fear social situations, I only overthink what people would think about me. I hope you give some other tips or some advices to overcome all this. Wow, I wrote a lot, this really made me practice my english, I'm actually proud of myself for writing all this lines without google translate 😂😂 P.S: a last question, is it normal that sometimes when I'm alone the monologue in in my head came out so I kinda talk to myself?

[@NimrodTheMaidenless]

What if I know they have no interest in what I have to say so by instinct I close before anything happens? How do you cope knowing its futile?

[@riverriverchang5487]

My case is, I'd probably not be self-conscious at the moment in social situation, but afterwards I would start to think about all the things I've done, how weird I was, and how people would dislike me because what I've done. I always have to fight with myself internally for a long time every time after the social situation. How can I fix this??

[@anasbelarche7097]

Literally the same ...

[@dr.beckyspelman]

We can offer you a free 15 minute phone call with one of our therapists? Please email [e-mail] to book your free call

[@michaelwhite2823]

If I still had thick hair and was as slim as you, if never feel self conscious.

[@nassimbensayah4568]

is it good to be self conscious when public speaking??

[@shyaaammeneen63]

Nassim, No because you may miss out important points of your talk. Only initially it may be there. In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. To feel relaxed reduce negative thoughts. Be careful what you feed your mind. Avoid comparing yourself physically or mentally with others. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 10-15-20 minutes or more. You can sit or lie down, anywhere-anytime with eyes closed. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. No deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. Keep a reminder to observe your breath sensations throughout the day and night --before sleep, when reading, at work, at home, when travelling etc with eyes open or closed. Like me make this a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.

[@ChildrenofthelivingGod]

This is so me 😭

[@dr.beckyspelman]

Thank you for sharing

[@russman1958]

Question to ponder …. What is the root of self or social anxiety 🙄

[@shyaaammeneen63]

Russel, In life there are only 2 problems--mind and the body. To feel better reduce negative thoughts. Be careful what you feed your mind. Avoid comparing yourself physically or mentally with others, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 10-15-20 minutes or more. You can sit or lie down, anywhere-anytime with eyes closed. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. No deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. Keep a reminder to observe your breath sensations throughout the day and night --before sleep, when reading, at work, at home, when travelling etc with eyes open or closed. Like me make this a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.

[@russman1958]

@@shyaaammeneen63 thank you very much ! I will begin practice on this breathing & awareness.

[@shyaaammeneen63]

@@russman1958 It is very simple. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. Since many years I have made it a habit to observe my breath sensations even during my normal activities and I am feeling relaxed. Anywhere-anytime it can be done with eyes open or closed. The best part is nobody comes to know that you are doing the breath observing practice as there is no deep breathing or sound. The second step is to sit on a chair without moving, be still and observe your breath. Stillness reduces thoughts and brings relief. Read my msg and do the practice regularly. Best wishes. Sr. Counsellor.

[@davidchristopherthesecond8186]

CEO of "for example one client"

[@DavidKoyu777]

Your accent makes it hard for me to understand your words !

[@Ουρανία-ψ7σ]

Turn on CC issue solved. Video content is abundant