how to STOP OVERTHINKING your writing | tough love edition!!

[@milkflavored]

My problem is I’m trying to write for myself, but I’m my own biggest critic, so I can’t even be self-indulgent in private bc I’m embarrassed 😂

[@esmietheauthor]

GET IT TOGETHER😂

[@SophiaMarieDollano]

You're not alone. This is me too!

[@sugasweet435]

I’ve got some scenes collecting dust in my google drive and I just can’t write anymore, or do anything to pull my idea together

[@toodleloos]

oh this is me 😂 im literally the sole audience and im like "nah someone would hate this", like. who?!?! 😂😂😂

[@futurestoryteller]

Being my own worst critic is my greatest strength. Everyone synonymizes criticism with insults. I especially don't have any reason to insult myself. It's about having standards. I'd like to be proud to live up to my standards as a writer, so I do my best.

[@madebymalayka]

"Novels are built out of sentences" God, I'm not even halfway through and I already feel like I should be taking notes 😂 Hoping to undo my imposter syndrome vicariously through you ❤

[@esmietheauthor]

Right!! for some reason, I forget that small, incredible fact all the time😂😂

[@madebymalayka]

@esmietheauthor I wrote it down in my journal, so that should help lol

[@MeemahSN]

I have to remind myself that it doesn't need to be good, that my writing is allowed to suck. There is so much time to go back and edit, to rewrite, to neaten up the things that are clunky. It's hard not to look at what I've written and be overly critical, but I'll never get anything done if I focus on the mistakes. No one has to see it in this state.

[@esmietheauthor]

exactly. free yourself from the judgement of people who aren't even in the room and just WRITE!

[@WritingWithMS]

Honestly, I think 'not for me' is extremely respectful. And that is not how I expect people will dislike my book. But daamn that 'looking up 1 star rating' advice is great. I saw some things I actually agree with and it's scary. but now I actually like to write: "Don't be a great writer, just be a writer," at the beginning of my book to remind myself to just write; no pressure. Thanks for sharing this

[@esmietheauthor]

"Don't be a great writer, just be a writer" is PERFECT. I'm glad you found this video helpful :))

[@futurestoryteller]

I tell this story all the time, but when I was younger I used to run around telling everybody my ideas, and gauging their reaction just to my pitch. I would physically write much less, but when I did reactions were always positive there too. Finally I pitched an idea to a new co-worker and she said "I hate it. It sucks." I had never thought about how I would react in that situation and I just said "Okay." And it kinda seemed like she wanted to follow me around and she was like "I feel like you don't understand, it's really bad." and I said "No, I get it" and just thought it was very funny. A little while after I told this guy who was ostensibly helping me develop it, and he got really angry and started calling her the B-word and flying off the handle with other insults, and I thought that was funny too. Like, it's just her opinion, it is genuinely okay with me if she hates it. More importantly he _was_ trying to get me to change all of it, all of the time. So it didn't really seem like he was my greatest champion anyway. Practically speaking. I have another story where I got some criticism later that I didn't handle as well. But I think I have a positive-spin version of imposter syndrome, because it really does feel like my ideas have nothing to do with me, so it's hard to be personally insulted when someone finds fault with them.

[@Villainilla]

Gonna throw this on every day like it's one of my affirmation meditations until it gets through my thick, insecure skull.

[@drd8251]

I read somewhere recently that perfectionism can present itself as an advantageous form of sanity when, in fact, it’s a delusion. Writing something perfect is unattainable. Stories thrive on exactly those risks perfectionism forecloses. (None of these are my original thoughts, but they really resonated with me.)

[@moec1133]

Daaaang. The “write like no one’s watching… cause no one is. You’re not a celebrity…” Dang! Just tear me to shreds😂😂😂. On a serious note that’s actually really helpful, thank you!

[@kimberleeoneal]

OMG! I literally went to Goodreads and read the negative reviews of one of my absolute favorite CLASSIC novels of all time... and people HATED it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 like enough to write detailed, paragraphs-long, 1-star reviews! And the craziest thing... all the things they HATED about it were the same things I ADORED it for!

[@esmietheauthor]

THIS!!! this is the exact thing I was hoping people would notice.

[@Thegirlwiththebooks-]

For a bunch of toxic tips this was strangely comforting 💚💚

[@PaulRWorthington]

The irony of 'toxic tips' and 'tough love' being presented in such a charming and friendly manner! Subscribed, thanks. (and while I don't get stuck on word choice in sentences, I do want to get better at just churning out paragraphs without having to first know every detail of the scene, and how it interplays with everything else in the chapter, the sequence, the act, the novel, the series…)

[@chelciecotton7774]

I felt like you were looking and talking to me personally throughout this whole chat .. 😂

[@esmietheauthor]

I was!!😂

[@ellamagnesunedelen7557]

Esmie, thanks so much for posting this video! I keep going around and around the plot for my story and you just made me stop spinning. Especially the part about not pleasing everyone. Everyone kept telling me "The Catcher in the Rye" was such a classic of literature; one day I thought I had to move up, educate myself and read this masterpiece. When I read it I was so disgusted: seriously I could rip it to shreds. I'm supposed to sympathize with the character I couldn't stand my son to become. Thank you for making me realize I'm going to miss a few shots: you've substantially lowered my anxiety and adrenalin.

[@Confliction44]

Your advice about writing one sentence at a time was incredibly helpful! Most often it's daunting to think "I have to write an entire book!" But when you really break it down, all writing a book is is writing one sentence after another repeated enough times to make a book. Thinking in smaller pieces makes the whole process feel less overwhelming.

[@lina5699]

Theres nothing toxic about your advice. Its honest. It doesnt make me feel anxious or kind of shamed so that means its geniune purehearted advice

[@Curious-Cat]

Really enjoyed this video! Love your vibe. Advice number 2 get me thinking: reading 1* reviews of my favorite books would be more anxiety-inducing than helpful for me, I think. I see your point, and it makes sense, but I would find the experience disheartening. I think I would actually flip your advice and say "go read 5* reviews of books that you despise" because some people did love them and it meant a lot to them. So if you're feeling unhappy about your writing right now, feeling that your book will never be as good as your favorite author's, well, it doesn't even have to be. Some people might still love it. It releases some of that pressure, deactivates the perfectionism, which probably goes hand in hand with the overthinking.

[@queenb2450]

honestly and this is super mean to say, but I think about how there are certain popular books - Fourth Wing (idc but it's just really bad writing and plot and characters) - I think about how that got to be published and it motivates me in a way that if that author can write and publish trash, I can freaking too!!!

[@Cherry-vg4bp]

this is such a good tip! i usually just get kind of sad when i see bad reviews of the work i love, but seeing people be passionate about a book i think is bad has actually helped me much more to internalise that there’s gonna be people who will like my work no matter if it’s “bad” to others (or to myself)

[@magpiewrites]

This is the only - I mean it, the only - author’s perspective of this type that actually resonated! I’ve read tips from everybody and their mother, from Neil Gaiman to my favorite booktubers and back, and it was always like "umm yeah you’re right I guess but it’s completely irrelevant to my case" and "ok yes but that’s basic knowledge, we all know that already". But you! You’ve pinpointed it, aced it! Every single thing you’ve mentioned is exactly something I struggle with as a writer. Thank you so much for seeing right through my bullshit. I’m gonna go write now.

[@esmietheauthor]

I'm so so glad this helped you!!! good luck!

[@jimvinespresents...8463]

As a professional screenwriter, I understand that some will resonate with your work while others will not. Similarly, as a novelist, which is my hobby, I write solely for myself. Some readers will relate, and others won't. And that's perfectly okay. Engage with those who resonate with your work and don't worry about the rest.

[@99TopHats]

Not you calling me out multiple times!! I love this so much, I’d argue these are actually very healthy ways to feel motivated to write. But it’s more fun to think of them as toxic 😈

[@andrewfallman7542]

I loved the angle of this video! The "toxic" tips made it really funny, and the whole thing was very encouraging haha. Thank you!

[@daisybrobbey9618]

I love you 🥰 the “Who do you think you even are??” got me 😂 I’ve got to remember that one when I’m overly critical of a sentence honestly

[@StephenAryan44]

Welcome to KZbin. It's nice to see another traditionally published author on here with a writing channel. There are only about a dozen of us!

[@esmietheauthor]

thank you Stephen! So excited to be here😊

[@rrraven369]

Hey, I'm looking for traditionally published author youtubers to watch here! Could you share any channel you know with me? Listening to self-published authors is not cutting it if you want to be traditionally published.

[@StephenAryan44]

@@rrraven369 I'd recommend Michelle Schusterman and Alexa Donne. There are others but those are the two I know off the top of my head.

[@writerbyday]

Definitely needed to hear all of this - especially the “write like no one’s watching” cause I do overthink audience and whether or not I’m writing for their expectations in the fantasy genre, but then I feel stifled. So this helped a lot to just write and push those thoughts away ❤.

[@SRKanai1]

I needed this SOOOOO badly. Particularly the checking the one star reviews of your favorite book part. So great! I've written several novels but really just for me. Something to do with an idle brain. But recently I met a friend whose mother is an editor for a quite well known author and she wanted to read what I'm working on now. I was elated that a professional editor for a major publishing house care enough to want to read it. When she did read it, she was REALLY complimentary and told me I was crazy if I didn't get serious about it and since then, I have been frozen for fear that I'm destined to disappoint. This was perfect. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[@sophtbat]

This is the blunt, no nonsense advice I needed- thank you Esmie!

[@New_Perspective519]

I really needed to find this video! Thank you so much for putting your personal touch and tips out there for us to learn from. I have had so many inspiring ideas and worlds to put to paper, but I am so critical of my writing and being a poet first, it’s hard to not focus on each word. Your words took some weight off of this big journey I wish to be part of! Thank you and I look forward to the next video.

[@ChitChatwithShanum]

Thank you for these fantastic tips on stopping overthinking while writing! As an 8-year-old who loves reading and reviewing books, your advice is incredibly helpful for anyone starting their writing journey. Your insights are practical and encouraging.

[@Momo_Minomo]

You are a breath of fresh air! I get so caught up in my insecurities about my writing that I forget to enjoy it. The charming delivery of the "toxic" advice ensured I was smiling even as I felt called out lol. I definitely needed this video, thank you.

[@ciscl]

Needed to hear this! Would you consider making a video about how you got published e.g. finding an agent, getting a deal, publishing process etc.?

[@esmietheauthor]

yes! I have a video about this scheduled! :D

[@alisagorelick8116]

Very solid advice. Yes- you're right. No body is untouchable and no one is watching you dance. Love it!

[@ModernOfficeGirl]

This is the best writing video I've seen in a long, long time. LOL. I did do an Amazon search for my fave author and I WAS shocked at the 1-star reviews!! This was GREAT advice!

[@Adailyy_]

I found you off tiktok today. I've been looking for authors on KZbin with your kind of vibes. New subscribers and will definitely be reading

[@esmietheauthor]

Ahhh!! thank you so much!!

[@astrotamer]

I'm a long-time-artist, first-time-writer trying to figure out how to string a story together for a comic/graphic novel. I absolutely loved this advice! AND I can't believe I already own your book from illumicrate! I'll have to put it at the top of my TBR ❤ thank u sm and i'm excited to see your future videos!

[@TekaSalles]

Dear Esmie: THANK YOU. Since this video I have been watching you from a very faraway land... Brazil, in South America. Unfortunately, here I am not able to purchase a copy of your book, but I am 100% sure it is a matter of time. Soon enough not only will I be purchasing your novel in bookshops around my home, but also, I will be reading them in my own language. Once again, thank you, I truly needed to hear the words you have spoken, and it is even more effective coming from a well accomplished published author. Thank you again... Pardon any language mistakes, English is not my mother tongue. All the very best!

[@linkow]

Thank you so much, this is exactly me, spending half an hour to write a tweet size paragraph. Also, your voice is lovely and so soothing.

[@BinxThinx]

Thank you for this 😂❤️ definitely needed to hear some (okay alllll) of this 🙈😅 on a mission to finish my first novel for ME

[@jeanshelbybooks4154]

Oh my gosh I’ve totally been circling the drain of overthinking. I’m editing two books right now and am second guessing the entire time with a large overhead cloud chanting ‘will anyone like this?’ 😂 This is helpful!

[@jjrusso664]

I indeed went to Goodreads and looked at one star reviews of my favorite books and you’re right. It horrified me but it also was oddly comforting lmao

[@itsmaovinnehere]

Hello, just found this and I want to say a huge thanks for being a lifesaver! I really need to stop overthinking and focus on keep going! I'm a new writer and I hope to publish a book someday.

[@c.sloanlewis]

Great advice! Everyone can use a little tough love and "toxic" tips every now and then! Thanks for this!

[@davidstewart8796]

Nothing that I had not heard befofe, but a nice round oackage delivered well, thanks

[@JohnLockhart-w2c]

I do not know how you found me but that is a good thing. I was hiding. I thought I should change my true story into Fiction by changing the names of the guilty parties. You reminded me of the real me. Take No Prisoners I've always said. Thank you kindly, Cordially, John

[@theta-mage]

I went to read the one star reviews of my favorite book on Goodreads, and there was one. ”Too dry, too much infodumping for my ADHD brain.” So I looked at the two star reviews. There were two. ”I wasn’t emotionally invested, which was partially caused by the fact that I listened to an audio book” and ”A bit slow and boring, but also kind of interesting”. The book has about a thousand reviews, with an average of 4.4. (The book has so few reviews because it’s a Finnish one. Not a big market in my beloved native language.) I’m going to need to pick another book to get anything useful out of this tip haha!

[@missdragon5892]

Oh my god this video came to me at the perfect time, I've saved it to come back to it later. This stuff is so good for letting go of expectations.

[@akelastale]

I just discovered this channel, and I will get your book now. Thank you for sharing the info in the video; as a new writer, I am always looking for more of that vlog-type video.

[@Mikksterx]

"fetish for humilation" omg, you have the best ways to describe things! love your channel, I'm such a fan!

[@esmietheauthor]

🤣

[@MadeleineBeardsley]

I absolutely loved this video! Such great encouragement from a published author. I feel that sense of 'everyone is watching me and will hate this or that' becomes so overwhelming, but your advice is so fun and inspiring. Sometimes it is so helpful just hearing from published authors that they struggle as much as we do :)

[@InnerProp]

I wrote a short story once in a very boring class. As I wrote each page I tore it out of the notebook I wrote it on and passed it to my neighbor. The pages were all around the room eventually. It was just short of the scenario you described with putting it on a big screen. They loved it.

[@Man-ej6uv]

the reviews were so funny! like god, how can you not see how good it is??? if they hate that than they can hate anything

[@chantolaspinall]

No quitting allowed! ❤ Thank you so much for this!

[@esmietheauthor]

exactly, no quitting allowed!! you're welcome! :))

[@sb5421]

Thank you so much! I am the writer’s-block-in-chief and it was so helpful to hear this

[@lisric80]

Get out of my head, lol. Thank you for this. I overthink every damn word, and this made me feel like there's hope to actually finish my book.

[@kayefbutterfly]

I'm so glad that this video came on my recommendations because I'm already obsessed with you!!!

[@chrismantonuk]

Goodness, this was brilliant. Are you inside my mind?! 😮 Your point about not overthinking every sentence really hit home, I spend far too much time going back and trying to make everything sound good that I never get much done... Thank you!

[@esmietheauthor]

I'm so glad this helped!! Thanks so much for watching :))

[@LanaCJames]

Honestly that helped me a lot. I felt so freed by your words. So I think it will become my ritual to watch your video before I start writing in the next few weeks. XD

[@ursadparadise]

you look like you never miss a skin care routine, your face is flawless. thanks for all the advice too!

[@esmietheauthor]

omg what a lovely comment... thank u!!!!

[@Sophia-jo8tv]

Tysm queenn, tough love is the only way my little head can pay attention. Very helpful ily

[@Sophia-jo8tv]

Pt.2 You reminded me I had laundry in the washing machine I needed to hang up asap. Excellent service, 10/10

[@esmietheauthor]

haha! glad to be of service :))

[@bm8490]

Those tips are not toxic, those are Toxique! :D I loved this video, did not realize, this was exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you!

[@FurhadKhan]

The way I needed this today! Sound and real advice

[@sherrylatrice8733]

Thank you for this. I really needed to hear this because I'm over here driving myself crazy. 😂

[@morganeua]

Omg, "go watch Bridgerton" is my life right now 😅 I'm writing my dissertation and a play, not a novel, right now. But this was SO helpful!

[@Inkhyee]

I LOVE THIS dude you're so emotive and inspring!

[@esmietheauthor]

thank you!!

[@nicolemarcinawrites]

Love these tips, and your energy put a smile on my face 💙💙💙💙

[@franciscorullan]

Your confidence is attractive

[@SWINDISA]

Great video! I love all the jokes, text & sound effects sprinkled throughout it. I'd love it if you could review writing methods like copywriting & rank which ones will be best for beginners. You are such a charismatic speaker. Did u write a script for this video or was it off the cuff? You'll have a million subs in no time, so I feel lucky to have found this channel when you're small & my comments won't get buried. I'm so jealous you got a quote from Nalini Singh

[@tammiehunter8289]

Thank you! My 2nd book is killing me! And it's because of everything you talked about in this video.

[@esmietheauthor]

oh I've been there with the second book. I'm going to post a vlog about the whole process, LOL it was awful!!!

[@SophieFirestone]

This was so helpful like seriously thankyouuuu also you are so entertaining I’ll definitely be subbed

[@PhilisiweTwijnstra]

Oh my, this could be an audio I could use in the background as I write. Thank you for these tips.

[@Belzza-B]

Simple but effective video! I love your energy and the tips you made (and yes, I will go do my laundry)

[@esmietheauthor]

hahahahah sorry!!🤣

[@andrewrobbins1060]

Oh my, I think you're my new favorite 🤔

[@Ithinktheref0reIam12]

Much needed advice! Thanks!!!

[@catherinebrown8501]

I just looked up my favorite book. 1494 reviews. No 1 stars at all. 🤯

[@MarcusDwrites]

Thank you. I NEEDED to here this in a comforting British accent for it to actually resonate 🤣🤣

[@esmietheauthor]

LOL this made me laugh ahahaha

[@taylorw.8179]

Found you from TikTok and so happy I did , because I am always in my head and this was very helpful!

[@CozyGamer92]

I would love to hear about your process with rejections and querying while finding an agent. It can be pretty soul crushing for new authors! 😮‍💨

[@esmietheauthor]

querying is such a demoralising process. I remember when I was deep in the querying trenches and it took such a toll on me mentally. I will definitely make a video about this. I hope you're doing okay and keeping your head held high!

[@CozyGamer92]

Just hearing you went through this is a balm! Can't wait for the vid 😭🙏 new subscriber!

[@infinitecurlie]

7:50 oooo. Something that one of my instructors recently said to me was I need to keep in mind the potential reader because I've been writing and figured the chips will fall where they do. But they said that without a potential reader in mind, then we don't have a story; but I'm really not sure how to picture one for Dark Fantasy lol.

[@angeloliver4487]

Omg thank you so much! You’ve literally grounded me from spiraling!

[@Gaywatch]

Nothing I love more than coming across a new KZbinr whose only obstacle between them and 100k subs is time.

[@esmietheauthor]

I'm not gonna lie, this has made my whole week. Thank you so much for leaving this comment :)

[@themysteriousfox3767]

This was recommended me at just the right time!

[@selly6147]

This was so helpful, thank you !

[@galaxylucia1898]

I’m not done with this video but I had to pause to say THANK YOU🙌🏾 and share with writer friends!! EDIT: okay I’ve finished. Love it!!❤ the pep talk we def all need! Thank you. Will hunt down your book now here in the States!

[@esmietheauthor]

thank you so much for sharing this video with friends, that means a lot to me!!

[@MOONSUN4Life]

Your one-star review tip was eye-opening, to say the least. Thank you for helping me (and others like me, I imagine) put things into perspective. You've got yourself a new sub 👍

[@esmietheauthor]

you're welcome! (and thank YOU!)

[@billyalarie929]

Wonderful video! Thank you so much! I would love for you to talk about writing prose, particularly if you could do so in conjunction with this frame of mind? Word choice not being brilliant, how to get over that and choose a word that gets you where you need to be, regardless how pretty or powerful it is. Thanks again, definitely subscribing. 😊

[@TheRyanLamont]

The sound effects you add in are so fun ahaha 😅 Love your energy! *Subscribed*

[@JCRPerez17]

Love this advice! 💫

[@Laurapoet33]

This is exactly what I needed today! Absolutely loving your videos!

[@laluenbaires]

Thank you for this video, you're great! 😆 I'm stuck on chapter one of novel one and I keep questioning everything I've thought of for my story. I saw the title of this video and I said "ok, I'm watching this last video and THEN I get to writing again", and it helped 😊 I'm subscribing cause I noticed this is quite a new channel so I want to see where it goes! Congrats on your published novel! Love from Argentina 💕

[@esmietheauthor]

Thank you so much!! Love from London!

[@laluenbaires]

@@esmietheauthor no problem! Now I'm stuck on chapter two but I made progress! 🤣

[@selmatatum8086]

Somehow this was negative abd positive at the same time but appreciated. Thank you from a sister Bookworm. Smiles

[@esmietheauthor]

smiles back to you!!

[@TeddyNiffler]

This is so good! Love your video ❤️ Also very interested in your book :)

[@ontheVERGE.]

a toxic tip i use for motivation to sit and juuuust write is to think about all the horrible books that were written. someone put time and effort into absolute shit, whereas i can put time and effort into something that WILL be a masterpiece. i use delusion to produce productivity 😭 even if my story isn't a masterpiece at least i COMPLETED it and it can blend in with the rest of the shit thats published lol

[@erzsieke]

omg your setup is so cute!!! thanks for the advice btw!!!

[@jonathanbassett3656]

This is 100% me. Another thing is that I always think I have to remember what happens/happened in every sentence and every paragraph during every chapter. I don't know why I think that but I do ugh

[@lisavanhusen7483]

This is everything I needed today. Thank you!!!

[@SolomonKing-995]

I really needed this one ! Thank you so much Esmie ^_^

[@esmietheauthor]

You are so welcome

[@elenaarenas4229]

youre an angel!! thank you so so much for such good tips ❤

[@esmietheauthor]

you're welcome lovely!! x

[@CLAUMORENO]

You are hilarious! Loved this video it really helps ❤❤

[@butterbeer8651]

this all helped!!! thank you for sharing!!

[@authorcharlotteecraig]

Bruh this video is sooo funny - and informative lol. I had a blast watching this. Now, off to practice some toxic writing tips 🤪🤣🤣

[@esmietheauthor]

ahahah yay! good luck!!

[@CameronDeja]

You’re so pleasant to listen to!

[@pika7058]

Would u consider making a video about your publishing process how to pitch and query, get an agent, finding the right editor etc?

[@esmietheauthor]

yes of course! I have a video like this planned so hopefully I can get it posted soon. It's gonna be long though, since it took me a while to get published 😂

[@pika7058]

@@esmietheauthor THANKYOU!!

[@OhnoGrimmei]

firstly I'm new to your channel and can I just say that you are funny! I was laughing through a good bit of the tips you mentioned. they were all very helpful and needed! I tend to do them all. I'm now a happy subscriber and will be looking forward to your uploads! thanks for this! Also congratulations on your book baby seeing the world!

[@esmietheauthor]

Ahhhh!! Thank you so much, this is so kind. I'm really glad they helped - I wanted to make a video with the tips *I* need to remember and it seems we're all facing the same problems lol! Will be making a part two soon xx