HOW TO STOP TANTRUMS FOREVER! (3 Easy Steps) | Dr. Paul

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[@hunchojack5143]

Im a 21 year old single father and I’m proud of myself because I been doing these exact tips and it makes me feel like I’m doing a great job

[@sabrin9409]

Amazing!!

[@sabrin9409]

Props to you for raising your kid on your own! I can imagine that it's hard sometime. But remember that it is all for your kid ☺️

[@marcellpeterson129]

Dang man that sucks should have tricked the girl into tripping acid n drinking booze while prego. At first they were trying to make a med go induce labor and came up with lsd but it does make you miscarriage

[@YouloveDJ]

Keep it up, daddy!! You’re doing a great job

[@TableforFontana]

Congrats 🙌🏽

[@crownedcuties]

My 4 year old throws the worst tantrums ever. It is extremely embarrassing where as i am a single parent with no help at all and we live in an apartment with thin walls. The neighbors are as fed up as i am. She was in the midst of a (normal for her) 2 hr tantrum and i felt as though i would lose it and decided to search for some help ANYTHING to help because KZbin and research is literally the ONLY help i have. God gives you what you need, when you need it and He made sure to show me this video. “Instagram moment” JUST NOW stopped her in her tracks and worked like a charm!!! Thank you God!! Thank you Dr Paul Thomas!!

[@av25_c31]

By this time, your daughter is 6 and I’m on the same boat with my 3 1/2 year boy. Oh mannnnn, 😅

[@nufailanoon]

I'm sorry you are going through that but 2 hrs is alot and not good for you or for the baby. Why not give the kid something he/she really likes. Try giving them new things like a vacuum or kitchen tools or let them see how the laundry works. I am against screen time for babies but 2 hrs of crying is too much

[@nufailanoon]

Try screen time. But I'm afraid she will get attached to it

[@lovejesusw1303]

Me too

[@PaoReno]

Damn if you were my neighbour you would be in serious trouble with landlord lol 2h is way too long for ANYONE

[@mikkig2964]

my son has autism and adhd when he was younger he would be good at home but throw fits in public. his doctor said to throw a fit the next he started to in a store. even to get on the floor and throw a fit to. i thought this doctor is crazy. well he threw a fit one afternoon at the grocery store.i thought if nothing else ill make a fool of myself. let me tell you it did the trick.he sat up from the floor and said " mother" .i replyed now you know how i feel when you do that to me. he never threw another fit.not saying this trick works for everyone but sure did for us. he is now 21 and works full time. and also the best kid ever!

[@Honesttalks287]

lmbo...sounds good to me..

[@stgknr2834]

Ty for sharing, i followed this and it worked for me. My 5 yr old would scream like hell for no reason. After i saw ur comment , i started screaming when he started screaming...lol..he got confused initially and started saying..'mom..pls stop screaming ' . He stopped screaming now altogether . I wish I had seen this 2 yrs ago..

[@ListenTalkInspire]

Yep

[@OnewithMultiverse]

@OP - How old was your son.. back then

[@saycog1084]

As a nanny I use a lot of sense of humor like that. Not only it works but makes your life easier and less stress.

[@itsmejose92]

My fiance is sleeping but she will receive this video first thing in the morning. I understand your underline method 100% but I'm not able to ever explain it to my partner.. This is so wholesome thank you I hope we can finally land on the same page.... Wish us and our 2.5 year old luck..

[@debrathomas4425]

These are good tips. Comment on Instagram moment. As a therapist I would suggest making sure to include moments where child is doing things right like "wow you are sitting very still in your seat", I like when you share toys, ty for helping brother when he is sad....we then recognize feelings and behaviors that we want and like. Its ok to recognize tantrum feelings like upset, angry, sad and overwhelmed too. Love these videos. They are very helpful

[@JasonFuller]

I was thinking the same thing, but I worry constantly trying to pavlonianly train a child would just make them cynical and teach them to manipulate others.

[@debrathomas4425]

@@JasonFuller No need to.worry constantly. Socializing children is not like training a dog. Positive reinforcement is in no way pavlovian. That is classical conditioning. Positive.reinforcement is of the ages. We are all inclined to do things when we are encouraged and or receive a reward.

[@JasonFuller]

@@debrathomas4425 Do you want your child to hang out with people that only pay attention to them when are doing something that benefits them? Or would you rather have true friends that stick with them during times of trouble? The patterns you set at home are often carried forward....

[@debrathomas4425]

@@JasonFuller I taught my children to think for themselves along with encouraging appropriate behavior. I think the behavior you are desceibing is called people.pleasing and can be quite destructive

[@lashgraham]

I have 3 year old wild child who is just like you said, a literal angel at daycare and with anyone else, but EXTREMELY challenging with me. I realized I must be the issue a long time ago, but didn't know what to do to change his behavior. He was literally throwing a fit about me giving him the wrong cookies as I watched this video. I paused the video and gave him an "instagram moment". It literally brought me to tears. It worked immediately. The tears, yelling and ridiculousness just stopped. I'm so glad YT suggested this video to me!

[@kenzyheavilin9427]

actually, from things i have seen that means you’re doing a pretty good job. your kid feels comfortable and safe to show their real feelings with you but knows when it’s more inappropriate. i would try discussing his feelings with him and teach him better ways to cope and react.

[@ReccaPatel]

Omg! YT is listening to you 😂 Here I am after my kid screamed because I wouldn’t let her play with someone else’s ball at the beach 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@dinavillagran563]

Wow i am about to open a daycare and following as much advice as i can, and i am so happy this works, thank you 😊 and you just did it and it work, this advice is a keeper

[@TheMaggiemay77]

@@kenzyheavilin9427 ha ha ha ha

[@Growmap]

@@dinavillagran563 It definitely works. Where people go wrong is when they reward bad behavior. I dated someone whose ex had his two little boys. The 4 year old was wonderful and sweet and loving and well-behaved. The 2 year old could have been the poster boy for terrible twos. Then one day the 4 year old was visiting and kept whining and whining. I sat him down and said, "Wesley, what does your mommy do when you whine like this?" His face lit up and he declared in a happy voice "she gives me candy". No wonder! I explained that only good boys get treats. And he stopped whining and never did it again (because thankfully it was a recent bad habit). Many people give their kids something when they act out. That is REWARDING their acting out. Do not do that or you make it worse. Reward what you want -- ignore what you don't want (unless it is dangerous, obviously). Then you'll get what you want and bad behavior will go away. (Unless they're over-tired or hungry or there is some reason that needs addressing.)

[@veronicabezerradasilva9947]

It's not that the adults are the problem. It's that they are the ones who can change their behavior, and as a result, get the child to change theirs as well. This girl is so beautiful, but she does look like she has a lot of energy!

[@zhmw]

It's the dynamics between parent and child, and it's important not to blame either the child nor the parent. Sometimes, parents get caught up in the dynamics and have to realize it's the relationship that needs improving, not the child nor the parent. Yes, it's the parents who need to take responsibility to improve the dynamics.

[@Ginabina76]

@@zhmw this is golden. So well said!!! 💙

[@Growmap]

Great advice. The kids that behave badly are being REWARDED for bad behavior. That is why they do it. Reward the DESIRED behavior NOT the bad behavior! And be consistent about it.

[@VladBomb-qd8bt]

My child will straight scream for 1 hour until she gets it I eventually give in becasue I hate noise and my one child hood trauma and abuse I went thru make it hard for me hear kid yell also I am to lazy to deal with the screaming for a hour to reward when they finnaly behave but I need to try but it might take months. All I know is when I caught my children not be on iPad and Videos or games they change fast within couple weeks they amgels

[@Growmap]

@@VladBomb-qd8bt The reason your child screams for an hour is because it has worked in the past. Put them in another room, pull the door mostly shut, and then them scream until they stop. Then ask them if they're ready to behave and let them out. In this way, you'll reward quiet instead of screaming. And the next time it won't be an hour. They'll try you again, but each time they do they won't scream as long if they know they can't get the reward until they stop. I've actually done this to stop a spoiled toddler from screaming. Fortunately, he only screamed for maybe 10-15 minutes the first time. And only a minute or two the second. After that, he just behaved.

[@MelanieBarrozo-u7s]

@@VladBomb-qd8btyep. We never bought my kids an iPad, but they watch some weekend TV and evening stuff. We took it all away for a few weeks and she learned how to play on her own. It’s not a “magic fix” and it depends on what the reasons are for the specific behavior, but I have definitely noticed in conversations with parents and working in daycare, the worst behaved kids are the ones with iPads handed to them to keep them quiet.

[@Secular-Serenity]

I tried this on elementary boys and it didn’t work. They laughingly said, “she’s trying to distract us’. LOL. It DOES work on my two year old grandsons 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. Thank you

[@kikicastaneda7896]

Lol 😆

[@jesusiscomingsoon2375]

😂

[@trevnti]

I’ve tried this in my 1 year old (he doesn’t really have fits though but is a menace lol)… Well the menace kicks in… he is very determined to get exactly what he wants and distractions rarely work.

[@eyedealist4214]

Can't wait to try this with my 4 year old. His temper tantrums are getting severe! We were at a May 4th Star Wars neighborhood party and afterwards, I knew returning the light sabor he'd been playing with would be a huge trigger. I tried bribery and it didn't work at all. After 10 mins I put him in time out in his room but was at the door requesting a calm body and calm hands (all the while wanting to shoot myself to be out of this misery), eventually I watched this video and used the third tactic and he got way more light hearted. Yay! I'll try all three consistently now and praise God if it works!

[@turnovertheleaf5505]

He is Blippi's Dad. Lol

[@Smileychild22]

Omg YES

[@lexxi28]

Omgg bahahahahahahhaa

[@anon5824a]

Lol this comment 😂😆😆

[@GatorFanInLove]

hate that I read this before the video started and I couldn’t UNSEE IT lmao

[@ebonysmith2548]

This is true 🤣

[@cathylarkins9949]

My Dad had a very effective “tantrum stopper”….being a Naval Career Officer, my father was stern but fair…I can’t remember him ever spanking or hitting any of us..we adored him but if there was any “acting out”…he had a “glare” that when focused on you…you knew to cease and desist Immediately

[@gloriabaumstimler2729]

I have that, my kids call “the mama look”. I taught school and it worked in the classroom too

[@dfarhall7489]

Unbelievable, I used to do these 3 things to my kids and it did work tremendously well. This was back when internet was a luxury and impossible to have access to where I come from. Glad it is an actual strategy diagnosed by a professional. I guess I understand kids better. 💁‍♀️

[@sadiqdelil5189]

You can be proud of yourself ☺️

[@uteme]

You're a good parent!!

[@newdlf2567]

OMG. the isolation thing totally worked in less than 10 seconds of isolation the kid became an angel. I am definitally trying the other two steps. thank you

[@josh-d4970]

I know folk who are adults and their behaviour is "hard to manage"

[@Growmap]

And a lot of the time that is because they weren't raised better. The most difficult people are raised by difficult people who treated them badly or bailed them out instead of letting them deal with the consequences of their actions themselves.

[@bothmamarx7536]

Put them in time out... But do it like a robot.

[@creating1_c1999]

it started when they were young

[@aliciagilliss4559]

I have a 3 year old son who has mastered temper tantrums, and I’m going to try this approach! Thank you so much 😊 I really was at my wit’s end and feeling hopeless.

[@maliksaabsays]

Let us know how your experience turns out?

[@ashtonadairsummers4316]

How did it go?

[@mondemdlulifx]

In Africa, our mothers give you that look and you'll sort yourself out, whether you are a toddler or adult..

[@ebonysmith2548]

Lol exactly! Same here

[@CpT_PrInCeSs]

😂 Same with our Mexican mamas

[@arianafatima4401]

Same lol, one look is all it took!

[@erint933]

Ok 😁please is there a link to "the look"? Bcs I've tried to do it but it doesn't work so I must not be doing it well enough, lol.🤷‍♀️

[@jamieott7080]

Yes, please post the look 😂

[@LindseyMinakerMusic]

I'd love to know what the Mom was doing "wrong" beforehand. That might be helpful information! Thanks so much for this video!! Super helpful. :)

[@Billie-l8x]

This is 100% how I do it with the grandkids 😁 always was thinking I was over the top but so happy I am doing it right!

[@Dfender67]

Kids desperately want attention from their parents good or bad, so the Kodak moment definitely fulfills that need.

[@zachbennettresurrected9519]

Redirect and Kodak moment I’ve been doing naturally, Makes me realize I’m a better father then I thought. Thanks for this video, My daughter has been having tantrum issues and I’ve been chalking it up to toddlerhood. I’m going to try the isolated time out technique, I have done similar but with an attitude of disappointment. Maybe this is the issue.

[@Eagle608]

Please make sure the child is not afraid or fearful when you put him/her away. Fear and a feeling of abandonment has a tremendously more negative impact on a child and it's well being than most other things a child can experience. If there is one thing I've learned about kids and psychology, it's that they can never get too much love and closeness to their parents. And that the opposite of love and closeness is one of the most destructive things kids can experience.

[@Morrow45105]

@@Eagle608 how do you put a 2 yr old in timeout when they’re so out of control they’re throwing their body around and will seriously hurt themself if you don’t keep them from smashing into things? Short of a padded room lol

[@Eagle608]

Now that does not mean I always do the right thing. I don't. Because I too have my own feelings to struggle with, and keep at bay. And unfortunately I have far less training in this regard than what I wish for my kids. So it's a constant battle 🙂 But thankfully, research shows that if you do things right, 20% of the time, that's enough to make a big difference in their development 😊 Feelings are rarely rational. And the earlier a child learns that all feelings are natural, and should be welcomed instead of feared, the better it will do in almost all aspects of life. The main problem with abandonment when a child is upset is that the child learns to suppress and hide those feelings more next time. Which leads to all sorts of mental issues down the line.

[@Eagle608]

@@Morrow45105 Often when things got really bad, I put the child in its bedroom and sat calmly next to it while it raged on the bed. Saying that it can come out when it is calm enough that it I know it is safe again. When it got older, it sometimes didn't want me in the room, which is fine so I stayed outside. But I told it that I could only go outside if I knew that it was safe alone inside. That was often enough for it to restrain itself just a little. Sometimes it didn't calm down right away, but after a few minutes when I didn't budge. Lastly, if you want a trick that i learned for when things are a little more calm. Try asking what we can call "yes-questions" when the child is able to speak or listen. Any question that you think the child will answer "yes" to. 2 or 3 of those will often distract the child somewhat from its emotions, and let it cool. Next try mimicking the emotions of the child, and voice how those emotions would make you feel with words that it understands. "It feels so unfair when I can't have X, it makes me sad and even angry sometimes" etc. Everything is about modeling the correct behavior, and training for it.

[@Morrow45105]

@@Eagle608 much appreciated. She’s my niece so idk exactly how her parents are with her but the past month or so she’s been having these absolute meltdowns when she doesn’t get what she wants or when it’s nap time. She is about to turn two so not much talking yet. The tantrum itself isn’t alarming for me but the rage, screaming, kicking, flailing and complete disregard for her own safety is alarming. She will throw her body backwards or forwards into anything and I’ll have to catch her so she doesn’t knock herself out or worse. Will also kick anything she can reach and eventually is sweating, almost hyperventilating from screaming and crying so hard. Like she’s possessed lol

[@brianimoto4634]

This trick works on adults too (spouses, co-workers, employees etc).

[@chickenmuffin]

lmao.

[@saynotohookups]

Lol.

[@maryjackson1361]

Lol

[@bantuqueen1406]

😂😂

[@Robbie-mw5uu]

thats called abuse

[@Paysanaswylin]

That is just the sweetest mom ever 🥰

[@biblewomen77]

My husband works with clients with disability and one of their things is Redirect..redirect..redirect.. I've done it for over 21 years with my kids from husband tip and it Works! So his tip about that is so true. I never called it Kodak moment but I've worked with tons of kids through the years..and yes that so works..so effective! Redirect Kodak moment Isolation...never had to do it but I'm sure it works and needs to be done. I love that he said just like a robot

[@sharonlarge7908]

My daughter would have tantrums whenever we started leaving a store- The last time I just stood there and said let me know when you done and ignored her- she never did it again!

[@natashablong]

When I was a kid a family friend's daughter spent the day with us. We stopped at a gas station and my mom said each of us could pick out a candy that we wanted. After checking out the girl "changed her mind" and my mom said it was too late. She laid down on the floor and started flailing and screaming. My mom told her that we would be outside and that she can come join us when she is ready to behave. We walked out and a couple minutes later she joined us, and was fine the rest of the day. I hope the lesson followed her. I remember being so shocked by her behavior.

[@sharonwebb945]

Brilliant

[@stormy8092]

I'm the lady that stops, makes eye contact with your child and yells, 'Just stop it!!!' and scares the freaking beejeezus out of her!!!! They cry when I yell they are so scared!!!!

[@Scent_Library]

@@stormy8092 yeah? You should stop yelling at them to make them listen. You’re teaching them to yell and instilling fear. You’re not teaching them self control and self discipline, you’re teaching them compliance through fear and intimidation

[@amandah1875]

@@Scent_Library ok but our generation could use a little fear these days don't you think? With fear comes respect.

[@TiffanyAllen-o1h]

Omg, this totally works!!!❤ Our 2 year old has been hollering all dayyyyyyyyy, when I bumped into your video and tried it it worked immediately. I redirected a focused on her shirt and she loved it❤ thank you sooooo much !! We will continue this ❤🎉❤🎉God bless you and your family!!

[@effinator]

I've watched this before and searched tirelessly for it... happy to find it! Thanks for sharing!

[@ashleighnieman4269]

I can't wait to try these... My 3 younger siblings only recently started living with us (my dad and me) the oldest is 12 and the youngest is 8... Their mother kinda treated them like her adult friends and I've been struggling with behavioral issues while my dad is at work 😅

[@ManiJane01]

Mom's and dad's. Your childcare teacher if they have the correct amount of schooling. Are trained to give you this info if you just ask. Thats what we are here for. Awesome job doc!

[@anniec642]

I wish i could like this a million times, not cause i need the info for my child but just cause it's so awesome🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@stoutie18]

Long time educator and counselor and #3 works like a charm!

[@cheristump9404]

The stories I could tell with our 9 kids. Kids feed off your energy good or bad. Good video.

[@justmargie7985]

Amazing ,this is how I treat my grandchildren .It does work well. Thank you, hopefully parents pick up on this

[@mustwereallydothis]

I'm feeling a bit silly at the moment. I realized I instinctively use all these techniques with my dogs but it never once occurred to me they might also help kids deal with frustration.

[@laneadamslivingwell]

Great tips! I worked in early intervention (3-5 year olds) for 31 years! These work!

[@jodyjohnsen]

My parents generation has six children on each side who all had children so I had many cousins. Of those dozens of cousins only one had temper tantrums. That child grew up to be violent and criminal. Two visits to the state penitentiary, so far. It’s important to get temper tantrums under control early.

[@samg873]

Omg

[@LM-hb6yn]

It's important to teach, help and coach children how to identify what they are feeling, how to tolerate painful emotions and how to put it into words in a respectful manner. A lot of parents unfortunately do not know that it is their job as parents, or how to do it or that it is every bit as important as meeting their child's physical, intellectual and social needs. Parents are supposed to coach their child on how to understand what they are feeling and put it into words. As you're doing that for your child, pathways are being built in their brains that will eventually result in an emotionally stable, emotionally intelligent person. Extensive, long term studies have discovered that emotional intelligence is the number one factor in ensuring the future life long well being of children. Children aren't born knowing how to express their emotions, thus the terrible twos and horribly threes. And sadly most parents weren't given an example themselves by their parents, who also didn't know that it's the parent's job to be their child's emotional coach and role model. If you meet a child's emotional needs by being that teacher and coach they need to learn how to deal with their emotions in a healthy manner for the rest of their life. All children need this but not all children suffer equally. Depending on their inherent temperament and personality type, not receiving this during early child development can have severe consequences. It's sad when I hear parents who sincerely believe they must control, dominate or punish their toddlers for what is developmentally appropriate behavior. Their brains are being wired like crazy those first 6 years, and parents play a huge role in the future well being of their child. A toddler should never be punished for not being able to express their emotions calmly and respectfully. Discipline is much much more than punishment... discipline is role modeling, teaching and helping children through each developmental phase, which will build a solid foundation for life.

[@joannestark3023]

@@LM-hb6yn I'd take this a step further and say the words punishment and discipline should never be used synonymously because they don't mean the same thing. Disagree wholeheartedly with doc's suggestion to isolate or even to use time out to teach the child. Time in wherein the parent or caregiver is nearby to extend the offer of emotional support as the child is going through a tough time feels more respectful. You're still holding the boundary that they can't do whatever, but you're validating their feelings because their perspective matters, too. And also, forcing apologies from a child after isolating them to try and make them learn not to repeat behavior and placing our emotional wellbeing on their shoulders is psychologically abusive, too. Just my thoughts.

[@LM-hb6yn]

@@joannestark3023 💯

[@LM-hb6yn]

@@joannestark3023 I prefer the word correction rather than punishment. People confuse discipline with punishment but they are two different things. Disciple is teaching by word and example.

[@builtontherockhomestead9390]

Years ago I had injured my hand and my joints froze up. My therapist put me in a splint that slowly moved my fingers opening and closing my hand. I stopped several pre-tantrums with that thing. "Look at the robot". 2 yr olds would just stare at my fingers being moved by the 'robot'. These kids were strangers but the parents were always thankful I stopped a meltdown from occurring.

[@radfoo]

I do this with my two, it works great nearly everytime. The mother just sees this as me being soft, she shouts and scream at the children and has a terrible relationship with them. She is always telling me, there is something wrong with them, we have to do something etc. etc. It's horrible, but she is stuck in her ways and just won't listen.

[@Ginabina76]

Oh I feel you...im sorry.

[@rebeccalew2764]

Sameeeee

[@HooDeeWho]

I came to this video to make sure I'm handling my little girl right(3). Her tantrums are small.. just a few yells after being told no, then she finds something else to do. I've been doing all these steps since day one. Thank you for the validation that this is completely normal and I'm a good mama❤

[@Flavy_Mochami]

1. Isolation Timeout. 2. Redirect. 3.kodak Moment

[@Flavy_Mochami]

My 2 and half year old daughter's uncontrollable tantrum brought me here. Oh gosh😢

[@martingingerich8830]

Wish my mom and Dad would have watched this guy!!!🤣🤣Might have gotten rid of the ole belt strap!!!!

[@socaledition6826]

Worked like magic. My son was screaming and throwing a fit a second ago and I did an instagram moment animating the Dino he was holding and his frown turned upside down and he started laughing and stayed calm the whole time.

[@anneliseromine1161]

It just hit me now that the times I had done the tips he gave with my 2 year old, I got more calm and positive behavior from her. I just never realized it until now. Going to apply these tips now when she's acting up. Because she is an angel around everyone else but me and her daddy. When she's home, the terrible 2s come out.

[@melissas8721]

1. Timeouts must be isolated and you do it as if you are a robot (no energy or emotion) --> we reward them for the silence and good behavior 2. Redirect attention 3. A KODAK moment --> verbally with energy describe what you see. wow!!

[@pinkstar9430]

Just preparing for when my baby arrives 😅 although I’m going to try this with my adorable 2yo niece!

[@durvishwonderland]

Never tried isolating or robot one tips but I always follow number 2 and it works amazing and no3 is new to me ! Thanks for sharing these tips !

[@annmbrooks9621]

2021, I just sent this to My #3 Granddaughter for my #1 Great Granddaughter. I was given these directions for my son, a head banger. I was afraid he'd break his skull and brain would fall out. It works! Hardest was his FATHER!

[@MrsSoftLifeGirly]

The lady's face while he's telling the story is making me smile lol 😆

[@Ginabina76]

Me too cause I've been there! 🙊🤣😂

[@lynn9176]

I didn't need any of this 3 EASY STEPS. back when I was raising my kids. I just had the mom look. and that worked every time.

[@dshannon1038]

Probably the best options ever suggested.

[@jessicamerced9116]

Hahahaha love this, removing yourself and redirection really works, they're showing you their best skills only when you're around! I put on headphones and it works because she thinks I cant hear her (even if I can, I pretend I can't), then I redirect her to a favorite toy.. it stops within a few seconds 😁 I have also tried recording her just to show my apartment manager how she screams in tantrums (we've got some complaints because this girl has a set of lungs on her!) And boom, shes like "nah, I'm good". Kids are humorous! With the right tips it's possible to keep the little ones under control 😉

[@NetCanvas]

What is your advice for husbands when they have their mantrums???

[@Brookejcottrell]

Lol

[@childcrone]

Isolation robot? ;~)

[@dustymariehilliard1551]

Drink more alcohol. 🍻

[@NetCanvas]

@@dustymariehilliard1551 LOLOLOL

[@NetCanvas]

@@childcrone Isolation robot...lol...who is getting replaced by that...lol...the husband or wife?

[@suefrantom6355]

Epic doctor, a man after my own heart. 🇬🇧🥰

[@katiecreamer9937]

Omg I'm going to try this in my classroom I have an extremely aggressive toddler and I'm scared for others she just sees red!

[@AL-xv5kr]

Has it worked so far?

[@Liz514]

Any progress update?

[@juliamundt101]

My 3 yr old grand daughter was in 3 day cares within the last year, the last two asked her to leave due to tantrums. I’m grandma and moved into town recently and have her full time now during the week. These techniques work. We have our occasional bad days, but I am not powerless.

[@andreamalone6624]

Ignore them if/when possible. They will learn it won’t get them what they want. Fighting is a no-no! You can’t ignore that.

[@christiner7294]

This is great advice! My son had ADD when he was little and his therapist taught us 1,2,3 Magic and had us watch a learning video as well. That also was a game changer for us.

[@lolli2943]

I still do 1,2,3 with my teenagers and they stop 😂😂

[@Ginabina76]

Still do this with our 20 year old all the way down to the 10 year old!!

[@erint933]

What is 1, 2, 3, Magic? It's possible my kiddo has ADD but not sure...I so need help

[@christiner7294]

@@erint933I'm sure KZbin by now has an instructional video on it by now. I learned this method about 20 yrs ago. If you can't find one comment back and I will try to explain it.

[@christiner7294]

@@erint933 FYI avoid meds at all cost. Only use as a last resort. They can damage liver and lead to addiction later in life. I know this because my son has since passed away due to self medicating at 22 he overdosed.

[@ivettetorres7047]

My parents are from PR . Have family in Luquillo.Can’t wait to get back again . Will definitely will be visiting Bacoa .❣️

[@danielherrera3832]

I remember putting my Kodak film in the fridge to make it last longer

[@Suzie186]

A great pediatrician right there!

[@michaelmattson3515]

I was screaming with a square mouth at a picnic my dad said, so he poured a gallon of milk over my head. It worked for the rest of my life.

[@ratherboutside2]

🤣

[@Romns1513]

That’s just… such a dad thing to do 😂

[@sitarao4650]

1. Time out like a robot when it's tantrum time 2. Redirect, distract when kid's about to get agitated 3. Kodak Instagram moment - show energy 10 times a day so that they know they have your attention

[@gl9088]

Thank you

[@lumartin1838]

So,the real problem is that adults tend to ignore children and only react to them when they are out of order.

[@mcjess9843]

@@lumartin1838 that is very much part of the problem. This is coming from a mom of six. Parents forget that their job is investing and training their children.

[@PhuocNguyen-pw7ew]

Thank You for your summary .

[@shaybatty3785]

Absolutely great advice, diversion and positive reinforcements are great!

[@trusound170]

My kids rarely had tantrums. Not sure why. But it really just was not a regular thing at all. They never had a fit in the store for a toy, candy, or some other wished for item, they never threw down in a restaurant kicking and screaming. I can count on one hand the number of times there were tantrums. I feel blessed.

[@Tatjanamay]

SOOOO much positive energy...I want NEED want the doctors on ;)

[@Watchman-At-The-Gate]

Proverbs 13:24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”

[@stephencoukos3923]

To me the second two suggestions are the best I could think of. I am sometimes worried isolation techniques are abusive in some ways. I can understand why some people will disagree just my 2 cents

[@annarocha3254]

You don't want to do isolation techniques with a child who has a traumatic past. So foster parents are generally advise against it. However a child who has a healthy framework with his parents is fully capable of understanding and learning from a short isolated time-out.

[@EmilyDeLaRosa3343w]

We don't ever do "time outs" what we do instead is more like a calming corner. I personally have a tent in the corner of his room and we sit in there together until he's calm, he might want to sit apart from me or hug me the entire time or when he's calm again. He gets over simulated and just needs to get away from it all where it's quiet and less visuals around. It works great for us but try looking into what others do for a "calm corner" or sometimes called "time in"

[@madzwolf4449]

This is extremely helpful, god bless you. Thank you for sharing this advice. Stay strong parents, especially single parents, our kids are amazing and single handily one of the best achievements in life, they are god sends! Keep them away from technology as long as you can, and raise them as you were raised but better. ❤

[@dolorestate6599]

Thank you dr. Paul for sharing your experience and information. Really have learned a lot from you.

[@petizo8]

I will give this a try. Mine is constantly hitting at his pre school and at home. I don’t know what to do. Well I know now. I hope it really does work. Pray for me .

[@edalizobear3012]

Dr. Paul, I loved watching this video! You missed one thing. Give attention for an alternative behavior that you want to increase to replace the tantrum. The Instagram moment, as you described it, is non-contingent. You gotta let them know what to do instead to gain attention appropriately. PS. This is an intervention for attention seeking behavior. Before you do this make sure that attention is, in fact, the function of the behavior. Might end up increasing tantrums if what they are reinforced by is escape. Great video! I love your energy!

[@thewardzhomeskoolcc1478]

Only behavior people get what you are saying. lol… I was thinking the same thing. lol 😂

[@DanniBby]

@@thewardzhomeskoolcc1478 what’s behavior people?

[@csa1770]

Nice comment. I would really appreciate if you can suggest a book or more resources on behavior techniques. Thank you.

[@elenachiruta3772]

Can you explain with an example? Thank you!

[@sarrahconley3143]

I always did this. I didn't know it was a thing. I did this with my niece and nephew. Now with my son.

[@jeanburk9539]

Works for misbehaving dogs, too! Go to bedroom, or room you can shut them in (where they don't want to be). Don't overuse. 5 minutes max for adult dog. 2 minutes for pup. Redirect attention from bad behavior. Go to place. Like for staying out of the kitchen while I make dinner. Give a toy. Attention moments frequently during day. Aleviate boredom with playtime or story or cuddle. Or walk.

[@bubbytyler1906]

🥰🤣😂🤣😂OMG

[@Robbie-mw5uu]

"why does my dog have separation anxiety?"

[@RandomWandrer]

I have 3 kids. I've only ever seen one tantrum. And it was unavoidable, honestly. Because I was very pregnant with my second baby and about to soil myself. So i had to chose between calmly talking to my 1yo, or making it to the toilet intime. I dumped the shopping, picked him up screaming and ran home. 😂 I made it to the toilet. He had a little fit. A kind neighbour showed up 10min later with the food shopping. ❤ The advice in this video is useful. For me I just ignored bad behaviour (of course if theres harm or danger then i physically interfere), and calmly explained that a parents can't give kids what they want while they are behaving badly. I'm happy to wait for a hug and a chat when they're calm.

[@fortheloveofluxury2858]

Gosh, I feel this video just saved my life today!

[@ashleymichelle3765]

How did it work?

[@tinca66]

I have one that works wonderfully. It's a timeout with mommy. So, we both go to his room to have a timeout, and he doesn't like it, but he's not alone, so he calms down really fast.

[@julesj5853]

Wow an actual discipline video I can agree with. Many discipline programs are gimicks and don't work and will actually cause confusion and harm.

[@lucyk.5163]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂The son's reaction behind the camera when the dad said "I'm gonna call this the Instagram moment"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 lol

[@NYMusic89563]

I’m trying this ASAP! My 5 year old daughter throws fits and screams at the top of her lungs and I find myself loosing my cool.

[@milenebelfort6795]

Me too

[@101AstyMasty]

It's not easy to stay calm in situations like these, but we have to lead by an example. I would also yell, but it was useless. If I lose my cool and yell and even spank(never did that, personally) than the kid is gonna see it as an appropriate response. I think the time outs work like a charm BUT we reeeeally have to be consistent. Just like he said; like a robot, put him/her in a time out and leave, if he/she leaves before the timer is done, you bring him/her back, no talking, no yelling, even 10-15 times. Once They'll finally calm, explain why are they in a time out, then hugs and kisses. They'll eventually see that you are the one making calls. I did that with both my nephews and one of them was really a temper tantrum monster. It worked. Also, the time out should be counted by how old they are, if they're 3, then it's 3 minutes, 5 years 5 mins and so on. I've seen other people do it and it really works, I thought it was a bull but ... I hope it'll work with my baby once he starts up 🙈 I'll let you know in a year lol

[@Cleanroom_Klingon]

Step over them and walk away. My pediatrician gave amazing advice. My son stopped immediately when he realized he wasn’t getting attention.

[@Pleaseopenyoureyes]

*losing

[@drest5316]

I hear you. My 2 yr old daughter doesn’t stop crying and whining, ALL DAY! She’s always in such a sharty mood, I show so much patience but it fails. I praise her, she gets upset, I don’t give her attention, she gets upset. I feel like I walk on eggshells around her emotions. 😰

[@WohiHaq]

Do you have any advice for teenager’s parents.

[@melaneydees1185]

What he’s talking about is real and has a name. Welcome to ABA therapy…..Applied Behavioral Analysis. 💜

[@heathercummings1026]

This is true

[@ltole002]

Yup! Rbt here. We do this on the daily. Maybe not isolation but more so ignoring the behavior

[@javaChai]

ABA is useless and a waste of money.

[@ltole002]

@@javaChai tell that to the parents of nonverbal kiddos that are now able to communicate with their loved ones and go out in public w minimized tantrums 🥰 but I get it, it's not for everyone

[@javaChai]

@@ltole002 amateurs working in ABA. Every few months new college students or trainees working there. Wtf will a kid learn??

[@Autty1234]

Taking mental notes for the future 📝

[@AmandasExperience]

Blippi's Dad LOL 😆 definitely related 👍 thank you 😊 I'm going to give this a try.

[@juliamikhaylova8235]

Do you do all three the Dr. described? I am not for time outs, we do accept all the feelings. Redirecting and Kodak moment are great though ❤️

[@mamaprojects4120]

Same👌glad to see others comment about this. Time in instead of time out. I allow my son to cool off where they are and support them through it. Unless we are in a public place I would take him out into the car or private area and to support him. Luckily haven't had to ever do this. The other tips are cool though

[@juliamikhaylova8235]

@@mamaprojects4120 Yes, absolutely! No bad feelings only learning how to be human. Ah, the more I think about these three methods the more i begin to question. Redirecting as a prevention of a huge tantrum is ok i guess, especially if you know that is coming. Kodak moment - sounds a bit like gaslighting though after I thought about it a bit...

[@chelsea_belle]

The Instagram moment was priceless, almost died! 🤭🤣😆

[@videolover1489]

So Instagram moment did work for you too :) :)

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

We love the robot strategy and we like the comment that you made about realizing that your kids were fighting to get your attention. Children behave badly to get their parents attention.

[@lizab8400]

My son literally had a tantrum this morning and this popped into my feed. I will definitely use these.

[@kristinebailey6554]

I have known 4 different women that brought out the absolute worst in their children. Two were sisters in law. The minute they walked back in the house the chaos began. If the kids were in my care, a teachers care or grandparents..... no problem. And it's sad to see no quality time between these types and their kids. What is the point of having children if you can't enjoy your time with them? And yes when they are behaving in an unacceptable manner, the struggle is theirs not yours, set them apart from the good behaving group until they get themselves under control. A good book on this is Breaking The Will Without Breaking The Spirit.

[@MajinTar]

My 3yr old lil girl has normal tantrums a few sec or a minute when she can’t get what she wants or she hasn’t taken her nap

[@joycetheobald1717]

Mine would throw a fit when tired or hungry. We call it "Hangry". Everytime we'd have to go grocery shopping, we'd get a snack before, as to avoid the meltdowns. Still works today now that they're 25 and 21. Lol

[@Blissid_Waters]

@@joycetheobald1717 Hormones are *serious.*

[@marysanders3531]

I’m glad your back I love your channel

[@Myworldmymind908]

Thank you doctor I appreciate this . Will definitely implement it with my daughter

[@missypin7520]

Thank you so much for this! Very helpful~ Nana that needed help. 😊

[@marikiemarie7622]

My oldest of 3 was they only one to throw tantrums... he did it pretty often...anywhere...once he got so bad in walmart he slammed his head purposely on the ground at 3 years old....oof! The only thing that worked was complete ignoring it...completely....watching but not responding..no eye contact.... obviously not when they are running off but he generally just kicked and screamed in one spot. Lol tantrums lasted like 5 minutes if I ignored....over 3 hours if I participated.....and I always said "ok...momma is not participating in this ...it's not fun." And I would walk off.

[@damndirtyape1363]

Didn’t worry about head injuries of your son? Mine is not yet 2yo and he bangs his head for attention

[@angelmarie7423]

@@damndirtyape1363 my 15 month old does as well, his poor head stays covered in bruises from the head banging. Scares the living daylights out of me, we're seeing s behavioral specialist and he's in early childhood intervention, but nothing they suggest has helped in the least. Im terrified he's going to cause major harm to himself

[@damndirtyape1363]

@@angelmarie7423 could it be that your kid is seeking attention? Mine does it for the attention of one of the parents or when he is over tired he becomes loopy. He gets bruises like that too. We just try to circumvent it - eg I’ll lay the back of my hand against the floor when he does it so that he headbuts the palm of my hand instead. Hang in there 🙂

[@angelmarie7423]

@@damndirtyape1363 it's a strong possiblity that it's attention seeking, I give him as much attention as I can, but I do question at times if I'm falling down in that area. Lol. I'll giving him more attention to see if that helps, thank you so much sweetheart and good luck with your little one as well. God bless

[@damndirtyape1363]

@@angelmarie7423 you’re welcome. I’m sure it will work out and you’re kid is just fine and normal. Good luck! 💪👍🙏🤞

[@skytrotter6144]

Wow without knowing this is exactly what I have always been doing and I confirm it works perfectly I have the greatest daughters ever and when I am surrounded by other children and tantrum goes off I do it too…funny to see how the parents react to this “how do you get them to be quiet in an instant” well sometimes we have to remember how we were as children and what would make us go quiet ! 😉

[@Roselee1234321]

Hi, my child is 1.5 and she SCREAMS when I walk away. I could never do the isolation because she will scream constantly. I have tried the cry it out method. She will not stop, she ends up hyperventilating. She’s shaken baby gates till they fall if I walk in the next room. She does not behave this way when spending time with my parents while I’m not present. She a happy girl 80-90% of the time. she’s a good girl and almost always listens. But when there’s a tantrum I can’t get her to stop she only worsens.

[@mnmssss21]

Be more animated with her. Everything happy joy and as if it’s new it really works

[@sofiabriones9221]

You have to be consistent with her. Explain what bad behavior is(set expectations) and if she behaves badly then she will get a timeout(designate a spot for timeouts, they can be anywhere though). Give her a warning before sitting her in a timeout (I wouldn't recommend you lock any child in their room, I don't know why this guy would say that). You need to come down to her level when you speak to her using a low tone, explain why she's in timeout (don't react at all to the screams, kicks, punches, etc.) and that she must stay there until her time is up. Set the timer for 1 minute of their life. If they get up, put them back there, no talking to them or eye contact. Do this as many times as needed until they actually complete their time(if your child is not used to this it can take a while, the point is not to lose hope or control of yourself). Once they've stayed there for the time they're supposed to, come back down to their level in that same low tone, explain again why they were put in timeout and that they need to apologize. Once they apologize, hugs and kisses and "I love you" follow after that. It works, unless you give in, then you'll be at square one again.

[@thelmakatherine5396]

Watch Supernanny. There are full episodes available here on KZbin that show encouraging examples of children being put in timeouts in a more gentle way rather than locking them in their rooms.

[@heatherfeather2621]

I am anti time out and emotion punishment. It messes up kids. Redirection works with toddlers. Schedules and routine really really work when older. Having multiple scheduled caregivers or play dates helps. They tend to age out of tantrums around 6-7. Also add a routine before transition (read a quiet book, share a snack, sing, etc).

[@mnmssss21]

@@heatherfeather2621 yes I do agree with you. My one son had as asbergers high functioning type. When he was younger his ex stepdad tried to spank him and when I say he was in hysterics I came in freaking out. That’s when I told him never ever do that to anyone of my kids. He thought I babied my son. But I’ll say this everyone that ever meets my kids all day the same thing I wish my kids were like your I try to tell people Just talk to your kids don’t punish them my youngest Is 17 and all 4 of them are the same well behaved never any problems. My oldest just turned 24 so they are all almost grown adults. So I say this treat your kids how you want to be treated and talk to them if they do something wrong. They will respect you and listen to you. I started when they were Vary little too. I’m vary proud of each of them.

[@LadyLaDay]

I appreciate the gems you dropped Doctor

[@MariferLifestyle]

Tantrums are not bad, they are actually needed for development. If you push away the tantrums, you dont have the opportunity to teach them how to control their emotions.

[@reenbrown2706]

I agree to an extent. However some tantrums are totally manufactured and manipulative and these must be addressed properly.

[@MariferLifestyle]

@@reenbrown2706 they may become “manipulative” but not really, when fear is put into the child, making him or her feel unsafe, or feel like they need to throw tantrums to get some type of reaction out of parents. It is up to the way we react to their tantrums wether they shorten or just get worse. If we stay calm during their meltdown, they feel the calamity, and they feel that relationship to us that they’re emotions are being validated. After that, you can teach the lesson without having to throw a tantrum yourself while your child literally can’t control their emotions. If you can control your own, you can teach them how to do the same .

[@lessehead]

Tantrums are not needed for development. Neither of my kids ever had a tantrum…not one! They both had mellow personalities, and I had taught young children for a long time before I had them, so I knew how to talk to them and how to keep them engaged and occupied. Kids have tantrums when they are frustrated at not being heard and understood. I had my two kids four yrs apart and I was a stay at home mom when they were young, so each had yrs of my undivided attention. By the time I had the second, the first was in pre-K. There are so many great parenting and activity books for parents of young children that will keep them happy and occupied.

[@cryss2356]

Lol you must not have kids

[@MariferLifestyle]

@@cryss2356 I have a 2 year old. :)

[@telanasteward]

Can't wait to try this on my 2 year old!

[@misfitmakeup1980]

When he said you guya dont know what a Kodak momeny is I died

[@Amtrax_BrianB_001]

The Slice Cheese Method. Works every time.