How To Survive Living With An Alcoholic | Part 3: The Drama Triangle

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Grace Chatting continues with her series on how to survive living with an alcoholic. Grace points out that all your best efforts up to now have not succeeded in improving your situation, and you have got to do something different. The Drama Triangle is an insidious dynamic in the majority of relationships. It is absolutely toxic and will carry on poisoning all your relationships if you don't become aware of it and step out of it.

[@GraceChatting]

If you are determined to rebuild your life, please join my Facebook Group "Rebuild Your Life"

[@annmorrow3666]

Grace Chatting thanks I wish

[@martinemeeks5065]

OMG - 35 years of marriage - being married to an alcoholic is so lonely and isolating. We do nothing, he is either drunk or hung over, and I hate any social event because he is the drunk who is never ready to go home. I am going to listen to these videos over and over again until I totally get it. But I know I am at a point of wanting/needing change and I have started to set limits. I stay because I love him, I stay because of my adult children, because of my grandchildren, and because

[@anchorinteriors7637]

Can be very lonely indeed.....It's been 21 solid years. My last born almost done with school and I can leave.

[@ninababy8]

25 years and I am still alone

[@lindamagacheson7617]

Married 27 years to an alcoholic who told me in June he was going to leave me for a barmaid in September. He dropped dead in August, thankfully and it's only now ive looked at what was going on. Grace I relate to everything you say and its good to have it explained. Thank you very much. Everyone else, forget them, they're wasters

[@Amartinez84]

these are kind of bittersweet in the way that its nice that someone understands and can explain it...& yet sad that its common enough that a entire series can be made to explain it. thank you for doing these.

[@DK-hh4eu]

Hi Grace . You are the first person that I feel truly understands what I am going through right now . My brother was an alcoholic & it was so so sad to see him distroy his life . He died last year . My mother is broken hearted . I have now realized that my partner of 9 years is a very heavy drinker/maybe analcoholic ( nasty when drunk too& days after ) .I cant believe I have let myself get into this situation but now know I cannot continue to live like this. I am so glad I came upon your site & thank you so much for posting your videos. You are describing my life as it is now. Your videos are the starting point for me to make changes . Thank you so much . I hope I can change my life around like you did .

[@GraceChatting]

Hi D K6 There is life after living with alcoholism but it doesn't just drop into you lap. You need to learn about the dynamics of alcoholism and how you got into this situation and how you can move beyond it. Stay with us! x

[@patclary3054]

I'm so happy I stumbled onto these videos. I feel like I'm going to be able to breath again.

[@sheiladyck5863]

Yup 41 years have passed. My husband uses stress and anxiety as his excuse. I KNOW I can't change him that's for sure!! I couldn't change my 2 alcoholic parents either and they both died from alcoholism!

[@evakorman1]

Your way to speak is incredible understanding and empathic. The care that you show is beyond a point where it’s not really possible for me to express how grateful I am and how big my gratitude is. Thank you so much for all your thoughts and care and your insight. You are helping people, much love to you.

[@rachelattack]

Oh good, 30 seconds in and I'm crying pfft. Good luck, everybody :D

[@maryrose1701]

i left him 26 years gone. He can fine someone else too call names to . He is a swwet heart but them he can also be a jerk

[@cbellRN]

this is my life..grateful for these videos

[@danielleramey2587]

Every single thing you have said is completely my life!

[@bettyb8739]

I love the simple examples you give. Very easy to understand. Thank you!

[@madisoncannoles4907]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have been going through a come apart. We're going on 10 years together, but my husband's drinking has increased, insidiously, and my mom (only local relative, and financial support) is a narcissist! We have a 7 year old and I just had hope that when our child went to school and I went back to work, it would relieve some of his stress of the sole income and help my self esteem.... etc. But, with extra income, he has just been drinking MORE!! BUT- My self esteem has improved, and I realized that myself,and my child, deserve SO much better😊 I am on #4, rewatching

[@Ingrid0410]

Al-anon is a life-saver! It teaches you yes, to change your attitude or change your address, of course. But changing your attitude is not being a doormat, it is learning how to be happy within yourself, not relying on anybody for this! Everyone of course is on their own life journey. We are only responsible for us! I would love to hear your story, Grace. Were you/are you married to an alcoholic?

[@GraceChatting]

Yes Ingrid, I was married to an alcoholic for 18 years. As I said I was a bit clueless to start with and I didn't know there was such a thing as Narcissism, which I shall talk about in a later video.I would not wish to repeat the experience, but I learned some invaluable life lessons I would never have learned otherwise. Al-Anon was a great stepping stone for me, and I strongly recommend it.

[@Ingrid0410]

Hi Grace! ((hugs)). Do you have an e-mail address where I can write to you?

[@lizzfrmhon]

Writing this through the tears. It’s like she’s looking into my soul.

[@hrrsnd]

Im dealing with this now and I'm ready to take the next step. Which is to leave. My question is how can you seperate. She stays with me my name is on the lease. But they have this law where if a person gets mail at that address you cant put them out. I feel trapped in my own house??

[@jacintaoyella1889]

Grace your videos are brilliant!!!

[@mammadingo9165]

Yes we moved house he changed jobs everything i cleaned better talked differently bending over backwards in all the wrong directions stooped to if ya cant beat em join em mentality but i dont like alcohole so left hopless even went a bit mad... till i remembered iam not alone in this struggle .i want to live not survive.

[@Sunny_Day1111]

Thank you! Thank you! I feel heard and understood 💝

[@ritatharp5238]

I'm glad there's hope.

[@veronicaavila63]

Hi Grace, i truely enjoed yor videos. Id like to see the next!

[@jackiespo1]

I see myself in everything she is saying. thank you.

[@mommeydearest2962]

Thats true! Headed to the next video

[@overarainbowov7520]

Excellent videos. Thank you.

[@AnnaEldho]

Real explanation of the situation

[@Alaska-me5jc]

You are a Godsend

[@everydayisbrandnewdayihave6709]

Thank You Grace

[@sharonbrabston9209]

My husband of 30 years!!! In the last 7 years has been bad. Drives home from work he stops and buys a bottle of crown royal and gets drunk and comes home drunk and starts fights with me. Everything is my fault.. cusses me out and calls me vile names..

[@Canaday291]

Being trapped in a traumatic marriage to a malignant narcissist alcoholic I divorced robbed me of my true authentic self and the quality time and positive memories and attention I could have spent with and created with my children his continuous and increasingly drunken ,reckless ,malevolent, selfish, abuse , neglect and cheating corrupted and stole away from so much of my children and my lives, It turned me from his wife into who I didn’t want to be .. his mom ..dealing with the daily stress and misery of an out of control forever adolescent that never learns from his mistakes. I had no choice for my children and my sakes to kick him out and divorce him finally

[@GraceChatting]

Nancy, narcissistic abuse definitely has a very damaging impact for sure, but dwelling on ot after you cut loose can make you very bitter. You are responsible for the choices you make going forward which also means owning your own contribution to the situation by engaging in a relationship with him. Not to blame yourself but to see how you were easily taken in and how naieve you were. Time to grow up. Focus on what you can change and move forward. Don't give your ex any more free rent space in your head :) xxxx

[@stephanieklutz4017]

I have been married for 51 years. My husband is an alcoholic , he is 75, I am 71. We have very little money but I would like to leave. I have fallen into deep despair. I am very stuck. The little money we have is my inheritance. Need suggestions.

[@annmorrow3666]

I met my guy 3 years ago, he moved in with me and has told me he is never going to leave. He is a great guy when he is sober, he works hard, but he never takes care of anything else. I am going to give him a month if he stops drinking maybe it will work out. I’m scared to talk to him about it. I know he will tell me he will change. But so far nothing has changed except me I drink a lot more.

[@neurologicalworms]

I'm guessing he had to leave..

[@mamabear090]

SOML

[@evaboyd1011]

I won't to learn how to change me

[@TheFusedplug]

my girlfriend is the alcoholic she'll always love the booze it's sad