How to Take Revenge On A Narcissist

[@timefilm]

Dealing with narcs should be a school subject.

[@gauper7598]

Knowing the demon by it's real name makes it powerless

[@christiandiaz]

Gonna teach my nieces how and why to avoid a narcissist when they get older

[@jamesmcmillan2656]

Totally agree,I’m going to teach my grandchildren

[@mojohnson5134]

timefilm lmaooooo

[@leadgenmagic4554]

MIght have saved me 33 years of my Life.

[@bluecrystal3900]

The best revenge is removing yourself from their life, influence, control...and watch them suffer with their false, miserable lie of a life.

[@ashleehayley7061]

actually watch the video

[@pennykent5687]

If I did that, which I'm hoping to do... I, unfortunately won't be able to see how my leaving will affect him, because I'll be gone. With MY Narcissist, I think he spent most his life in an effort to avoid me, not let me Love or be a part of his life as a sister... I often think if I just left or died he'd be really ok with that. Guess the only thing I should concern myself with is going ..... They say SUCCESS IS THE BEST REVENGE, so I think that's what my plan will be. ,😁 Live Well.😀💪

[@starlingswallow]

Bue Crystal, yes and freaking amen. If you try to make them suffer or get revenge, you're just playing RIGHT INTO THEIR GAME. It shows them they pissed you off and they get Narc supply from it. Don't stoop to their level. Move on with your life and be as happy as can be!!!! THAT, my friends, is the best revenge. And don't do it for them, DO IT FOR YOU :)

[@pennykent5687]

@@starlingswallow I hate to admit you're right. Not cuz I want you to be wrong, no,.... Just cuz I really wish I could get revenge. Thanks for the brutal honesty. I really do mean that. -Painful to hear, but so true.🙁👍

[@eurokay4755]

@@pennykent5687 My narc is my older brother, but he is aggressive, verbally abusive, using our widowed mother and family concerns as an excuse, e.g., "I'm just protecting Mom." Mom says, "Well, that's just the way he is" when I he explodes on me. I'm here because I finally, finally woke up and realized nothing about that dynamic is going to change. Mom doesn't realize how many people, even her own brother and his kids (my cousins) avoid her in order to avoid him. I can't do anything about that, I finally learned, because at some level she's more interested in protecting him than herself. So, I'm working on changing me, my responses to the sick dynamic, so I can be present without being vulnerable.

[@mockingbird3099]

"When fighting a monster, it is important to remember not to become one." - Frederick Neitzsche

[@clairebear1359]

So fucking pretentious you are

[@hiddeninformation8661]

That’s ironic as the last narcissist l came across modelled himself on Nietzsche even to the point that he emulates Neitzsche’s illnesses.

[@oossum]

True just bus they fkg heds and don't forget why yah did it. Keep the true context Sellf dafence

[@susisonnenschein5069]

Isnt being a narcissist already a miserable fate? why revenge? , just knowing what they are is giving me some relief . They are miserable unhappy people who are not able to change. Basically they are emotionally retardants. I wouldn’t want to be this.

[@kymchessall7853]

@Donald J why so jealous? Sounds like narc rage and revenge to me

[@elsea8901]

Being that they feed on attention, their worst nightmare is to be ignored. Avoid them like the plague--ZERO contact...forever.

[@ktajax]

Can be other way around. I grew up in family that ignored right when you need the most.

[@lynndenver28]

Kman how when u have a child with one it's a living nightmare

[@ktajax]

@@lynndenver28 Sorry to hear. I can only imagine. May I suggest Teal Swan. She is on YT and may be able help.

[@lynndenver28]

Kman thank you for taking the time to reply, yes i have a wee look thank you.

[@ktajax]

@@lynndenver28 You're welcome.

[@DavidTheSuperhero]

Revenge on a narcissist? 1. Learn from the (bad) experience. 2. Go on living a great life without looking back

[@jcbanbury]

I do agree, it's funny because they NEVER "cared" about you amyway, so if you try to get back at them in any way you kind of look foolish

[@gmatinky3965]

🙏🙌🌈

[@Tanahmera]

I would say the best revenge is going zero contact and going on with your life. They don't exist treat them like they are dead. This has actually worked for me.

[@marylouleeman]

Even better is to have a happy and victorious life right in their faces but this takes a lot of healing, forgiveness, bearing with them and their rude behavior.

[@marylouleeman]

I am letting them know that they are being replaced. I have new friends, am adopting family members among spiritual friends. I had to detach in order to think this way. Took a lot.

[@Cortanasboyfriend]

mlu ccc wouldn’t work they don’t care if their life is better

[@Cortanasboyfriend]

Wouldn’t work with some

[@stephanieduncan9023]

Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp : [phone]

[@beeclassy4867]

Revenge on a narc? Don't even think about it is my advice. There's a saying in my native country (I'll do my best to translate it into English): "When you don't let the 'dead' die, the dead won't let you live."

[@bichepo]

ok wild guess. you didnt actually watch the video?

[@catelewis7223]

Oh that's a good saying....

[@johndoedoe8812]

@@bichepo 👍!

[@D1987Gd]

WORDZ 😎

[@pija5877]

I'll keep that one in mind in case of zombie apokalypse :D

[@accade_acaso]

My revenge is simple: I accept I've been abused. I learn how and why that happened, so I can trust myself again. I forgive them, so I can be free, less naive, no more scared; a better version of my self. It's painful, hard and challenging, but it's the best way for me.

[@fx4147]

I think it as a blessing in disguise; we learn about ourselves, them and the world.

[@patriciapaulineguevara4123]

acaso illustrator that is the road I am choosing

[@stephanieduncan9023]

Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp : [phone]

[@GH-ph7ng]

acaso illustrator AGREE 👍🏼that’s my strategy as well . Great minds think Alike:)

[@dannym6552]

ya, but what if they r after your ability to earn a living, harder to walk away. An eye for an eye may just be the solution?

[@polkadotdress5360]

When they show you who they are .Believe Them .

[@sabrine379]

👌

[@danpetru]

@Donald J Dude, i know you're gonna say, or think that, who doesn't understand you isn't at your level and i'm willing to admit that, in the things you are talking about i am not...maybe I am on other things though.......but you are talking in a language of your own, for me - who,i usually read very carefully and tend to understand what people are trying to convey, even if they don't put it very planely or in many words...but, with what you've written i cannot make it into a folowable statement. Except that empaths aren't well equiped or as strong as they think they are. I felt the need to give you some outside oppinion, if you can use it well i'm glad and if not, well forgive me

[@danpetru]

@Donald J Ok now don't make me better than i am- the '' maybe I am in other things'' means something that you may have missed and this is me being as patient as i can . In rest have it your way i won't read that much of a message anyway because i'm not convinced... However i have a question: did anybody understand your texts? .... i know two philosophers tried to interpret them but did they or anybody come back with an apropriate question that showed you they new what you were talking about?

[@pawan21981]

Thats what i did ...hmmm thanks to nar for revealing themselves

[@LuckInklusiv]

know thyself :)

The best revenge for them is to live well. Move on to someone else that treats you good, do everything you always wanted to do, travel, take a class. Just be progressive and it will hurt them. They will think how dare they do well without me. It breaks them every time. Watch out for the hoovering.

[@charlenemonique1]

I agree 💯

[@DappermarktAmsterdam]

missmeonbs so right!!!

[@aftrdrk7263]

missmeonbs wow! that makes sense.

[@CorlissH]

Not that simple genius… sometimes their claws have many layers and when you've gotten free of one trap, theres another.

[@nerdofgod4167]

missmeonbs how long does hoovering last? It's been 3 days no contact and I have over 100s of missed calls, texts, messenger, messenger calls to see if I'm on the phone with someone else. It's crazy. They broke it off yet act as though they didn't.

[@karadiberlino]

My „revenge“ is NO CONTACT. Silence treatment, gaslighting - call it what you want, I call it RETURN TO SENDER. Giving them a taste of themselves. Bon appetit! 🍽

[@pawan21981]

Yea giving them taste of thier own medicine 🤘

[@shaniecegullison]

@@pawan21981 🤗😀😭😂😂😂😂😂😂bon appetit

[@ahoneekesong9004]

😂😂😂😂😂I know it's bad but I recently did it to him too and he has been begging for everything he has done. I told him I don't hold anything against him, but I have definitely learnt and awakened and he is now like you're talking like I've changed bla bla bla. He doesn't still understand. I'm gathering all the courage to finally go no contact this night. He definitely doesn't see it and I'm ready for the smear campaign as I don't care now . I need to find that peace again. I'm mentally drained already.

[@irenemorley6518]

This is great,I watch my narc loose every thing(home,family and job)just sat back and watched him go down down down.

[@kathyvalentine1212]

The best revenge is living well AND leaving well enough alone!! One thing I've learned after nearly 60 years of life, life has a way of avenging itself without our help!!

[@VioletRaya]

Kathy Valentine that is the truth and I’ve seen it first hand. Karma on my enemies.

[@dannym6552]

what if the living well part is what they are messing with -- at some point bullshit needs a limit

[@alonzomosley7]

Hope you are right still waiting

[@Erik7prc]

WOOOoooow! That was so beautiful ❤

[@moniquevandeplas5210]

Did you actually see this come into play with the narcissist?

[@braedonkuts3099]

I LOVE how Richard addresses the concept of EVIL as a reality, and not a perspective.

[@walterweizenauer4800]

My life was utterly completely ruined by narcissism the primary narcissist in my life: my mother. A core feature of this damage has been the fact that I attract narcissistic psychopaths like a magnet. The tragic thing about this circumstance is that you must become consciously narcissistic to prevent yourself from being utterly destroyed by these circumstance. The best I have been able to do in this war has been developing the ability recognize these people and circumstances and letting myself escape. At this point in my life this means that I am pretty much alone. I believe any "revenge" against these people and circumstances is to truly escape and thrive to the best of your ability.

[@willzer808]

so you would recommend taking some form of revenge on them Walter?

[@walterwz]

No way. Revenge is part and parcel of the narcissists trip. The primary narcissist in question is my mother. I can see how she was made the way she was by her narcissistic father. I also see how people who have this condition are not conscious of their real nature. They believe their own gas lighting and their grip on reality is always tainted by the condition. I am also sensitive to the fact that narcissism has points in common with autism and Asperger's syndrome. . Being born without basic social compatibility software makes the lives of those with this condition very difficult. The one aspect I am not willing to forgive or let off any hook is our fundamentally narcissistic culture and society. The Trump phenomenon shows exactly how rampant this condition is. My dream is to transcend this condition primarily in my self. I want to show deeper empathy in all my dealings. I want to attract healthy people into my life where this dynamic is not a factor. Since the worst thing being in a relationship with a narcissist is that it sets you up and programs you for failure, I think the ultimate revenge is to succeed.

[@pamelamacdonald9139]

escape is the best revenge

[@ubiquitousbliss]

similar happened with me, narc dad, narc b.f. then another for 18 years. did not fully comprehend how they operate until a year ago and have all the relatable people and their tales of such similar trauma out there now showing me how not alone I had been for 42 years. my goal now that i have taken steps towards a brighter tomorrow after going NC 6 weeks ago is to not let it jade me, to truly learn and become impervious without loosing the empathic part of me that, may have been what attracted narcs to me, but also what makes me a genuinely decent person, the one thing he /they never took from me was my heart no matter how much they stomped on it. keep thriving sir walter, there are wonderful kind people in this world and no matter how isolated any of have become, we do not have to go it alone.

[@thereallisa1]

Me too, Walter. Me too.

[@gilmourishgilmourish6205]

I never knew what a narcissist was until I left and looked up mental abuse, did the test and cried.

[@kenleach2516]

She called me a Narcissistic! I had no idea people can be like that, 3 years old

[@adellelouise8596]

Ha ha, I googled his behaviour once at the very beginning. Narcissistic came up. I giggled coz I knew there was something very wrong. Shouldn't cry. Not worth it. Be glad your eyes were slightly open at that time otherwise you just may still be there.

[@RICHARDGRANNON]

A little social experiment for you budding psychologists out there: can you tell by reading the comments on this video who actually watched the video fully before posting a comment and who posted a comment that is just a knee-jerk response to the title and what they think (wrongly) the video might be about?

[@laytondestiny6943]

SPARTANLIFECOACH Wondering what you could possibly mean and then finding the answer in the very next comment...priceless.

[@WaRLoKWYATT]

This video is pure fucking gold. This should be #1 on youtube. Alot of fucking bastards could use hearing this. I deal with the worst of the worst kind of narcissists on a daily basis. I am at my wits end with these people and it just won't end. Ahh!!!

[@WaRLoKWYATT]

You try so damn hard to reason with them and they just double down on their idiocy. It's insane, truly. They are very sick minded people too.

[@polifonyann]

Have to admit I commented while watching. Lol

[@kdnichols99]

SPARTANLIFECOACH Is it the same as the book? Read the book the last couple of days. VERY much enjoyed it!

[@MasterMalrubius]

Best revenge is to ignore them and stay away. If approached, act friendly but keep your distance and keep your cool. Smile, say hello and walk away. Don't say anything negative and never accept any invitation or request for information. DON'T GET ENTANGLED. Do not keep up the conversation. Say hi, say bye and smile.

[@berthugh2214]

Amdrew Boehmer: What's with the "smile" part? That's not appropriate. You don't feel good about seeing them or running into them somewhere. You don't think they are good people. You are not happy to see them. You say "act friendly," & then say "ignore them." You say "stay away," then you say "smile, say hello." You act afraid of emotional unpleasantness, & vacillate between conflicting behaviors. Being a "people pleaser" & afraid to express your true feelings or even confronting another is why a narcisist is so attracted to you in the first place. They target people like you. Don't feel alone, I am that way too. Or used to be, but am practicing the cold shoulder whenever I am on the same elevator with a narcisist who is still on a character smearing campaign against me. She is a covert narcisist who always acts the victim, & is sly like a snake-in-the-grass, & acts wounded in a dramatic way, like her targets are the perpetrators, Never Her. I never say a word to her, I never smile when I pass her by (even though I am a very happy, smiley person in general), & I will jump down her throat if she says Anything condenscending or critical of anything about me, to my face, or in conversation with someone else where I can hear her. Her response is to try to "love bomb" me. Disgusting. I just walk away with no response & no facial expression at all. It is she who now walks on eggshells around me! And she lives two doors away from me. I don't encounter her anymore in the hall...I hear her door click shut when I come out my apartment to go to the elevator. She is afraid to come around me. I view her as a lowly vermin, & I am Paul Bunyon! I have decided I have value & I will not fold, bend, spindle & mutilate myself just to NOT make someone else uncomfortable. I decided other people will have to deal with come-what-may. I feel wonderful now---I have been true to boundaries I set for myself. It is still a work-in-progess, but is becoming increasingly more second nature to me now. Gotta watch Richard Grannon SpartanlifeCoach in his video: "15 Traits of People Pleasers." Its about traits of the people who are typical targets of narcisists--the traits that one has to work on in oneself to "fix." What an eye-opener for me! Take care.

[@newlifenewhope5905]

Don’t smile!! Use the grey rock technique and keep your expression as neutral as possible! I couldn’t go NC with my narc, as we share care of our child. I thought the best way to treat him was the way you described, acting as if all was normal and I was happy and friendly. But, when I learned about the grey rock technique, I realised that I was making things too easy and pleasant for him, and giving him control of the dynamic between us. He never smiles at me, and generally behaves in a fairly neutral way, until he doesn’t like something I’ve done (usually in relation to our child). Then, he’d revert to his old bullying tactics, lecturing me on and on, and no matter what I said, he’d just repeat himself, as if I never said anything. Now, I’m hoping that using grey rock and JADE will help me get some control back, in the future. Still a work in progress, though!

[@BeingLifted]

berThugh2 I have NPD neighbor issues, too. As long as I acted friendly toward her, especially with other neighbors around, it fueled her rumors. Nowadays, I pretend she's not there. I need to watch this video, though, before I'm sure it's the best I can do. I'm looking fwd to the ppl-pleaser video, too. Thanks!

[@twinsoultarot473]

John Mitchell You can't win because they enjoy even the abuse.

[@sarahjohnson8514]

Andrew Boehmer Nope. Just ignore completely and act like they don’t exist and document everything.

[@mahadnur5623]

I slapped my narc then said it didn’t happen dude looked at me like I was the devil 👿 Lool

[@Erik7prc]

😆😆😆😆😆😆

[@melntribe4403]

Ace

[@mrtwister9002]

Reactive abuse. Mine would gas light me. I gas lit her. She freaked out when I did it. Damn near had a stroke.

[@vigoroustips5168]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@shaniecegullison]

💪💪💪💪💪♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗😀😀😀😀😀😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@lesamilano]

Narcissists hate being exposed more than anything. Even merely suggesting they have narcissistic personality disorder will ignite the fury of a thousand suns and they go on a rage rampage - and of course, predictably, accuse you of being a narcissist. It's like clockwork lol

[@bonnielee7134]

This is so true. I now leave comments telling people to unmask the narcissist and make them discard you and a miracle happens. They melt away! No need to worry about going no contact or hovering with that played card.

[@pippipster6767]

LeSaMilano Yes it’s the reverse vortex - where the more right you are, the more wrong you will be. Then savagely and aggressively destroyed.

[@sarahjohnson8514]

Bonnie Lee I did that and the one I knew so far hoovered me once nearly a year later.

[@blackmaster73]

Yeh. This could be the only diagnostic criteria. I do however agree with others that the safest exit strategy is to be very nice to them and maybe somehow blame the fact that you can't maintain contact on yourself.

[@happygoluckyh.t.d.4life.739]

yup I agree, mine is a neighbor hell bent on making me move, I posted a "Caution Psychopath at play!" sign in my window. Im first on this road, I want him to explode under my security cams to show the police, I just thought of this yesterday so I want more to add my Video Diary report which lands at cop shop tomorrow. I will determine what sort of food this narcie gets off of me.

[@hhoward14]

The best revenge is live with a Labrador that loves you, more than it loves itself. The way I do...

[@jenlala389]

It is a Parson Jack Russell from a shelter for me. They are much more intelligent than any narc and they have hearts like a lion. They HAVE HEART, COMMITMENT AND COURAGE!!!!

[@lisahayes3648]

Amen, though mine is a mastiff. A true rescue/therapy dog.

[@jamaludin5887]

hhoward14 I have a beautiful staff and small white fluff they are so beautiful Labrador is beautiful next is Dottie and husky we need dogs around us

[@leadgenmagic4554]

MIne is a Golden Retriever. LOL!

[@leadgenmagic4554]

Mine is a Golden Retriever. LOL!

[@christo3635]

Get revenge on a narcissist- Replace them with a dog.

[@jackfrostplays5082]

This is so right on. The best way to heal from codependency is to stop being a victim. The worst thing you can do to yourself is have a mindset of self-pity. What was your part? Even if all you did was show up, or answer the phone, or be silent when you should have spoken up- that was your part! You had control over that, and if you can see that now, you can learn from it, and do better in the future. Focus on yourself, and don't EVER be a victim if you truly want to heal.

[@christophermosley5885]

Kellie Barlow truth!

[@susanna8612]

True but that does not still make right how other person treated u. If it helps someone to move on to speak out, not just swallow the shit alone and try move on then that is okay. The thing is that with normal healthy people you don't need to calculate your words and actions before hand "should I reply, should I not reply, should I say this, should I not....should I feel this or not" when you have learn to communicate and relate with normal people and then narcissit suddenly enters your life, it is normal you act as you have use to with other people. It takes time to realise that there is something so wrong going on and there is no solutions since there is no 2 mature adults relating and trying to understand and caring each others. At the time things have became very clear it's already more complicated If there is already hurts and also some attachment to the person anyhow. I'm sure everyone would act differently if they would have known better and could turn back time, maybe next time around yeah. Dealing with narcissits is just that kind of sick mind fuck, that even most intelligent and independent person can mess up their head and clarity with them.

[@roraalice]

Kellie Barlow i

[@newlifenewhope5905]

Not being a victim does not mean that you were to blame for your abuse!! It’s about taking back control of your life, by healing and learning what made you vulnerable to deception by these abusers, and developing good boundaries, so that it won’t happen again. But, blaming the victims of the abuse won’t do them any good!

[@beautymuse2688]

@@susanna8612 thank you! Very helpful cuz I wonder so much on that, I've never really tested it cuz I cant (or have been taught before consciousness and havent really had the courage to test it out) that if I hurt someone's feelings or create anger in them my very survival will be a stake. I must test this out to get any kind of sense of what a normal reaction is! Curious if you have any thoughts on some less risky, first grader, baby steps ways to do this? It can be hard to resist such deep training... my heart is racing like I'm about to jump out of an airplane just thinking about it. Ahhhh! If not I will figure it out myself. I am VERY creative!

[@melmarin5926]

Thanks for allowing an Empath (me) to get revenge by thinking like a Narc and reversing the roles. It's a wonderful feeling. You're a genius! 😘

[@marylouleeman]

Yes, very empowering, though I will leave true revenge with God per scripture. Because forgiveness is key so I won't be eaten alive with bad thoughts.

[@tabithameekins8050]

Realize that they are already in misery and hell. Just be the best you can be.

[@tabithaboyd5239]

I played all these games with my ex and possibly beat him at his own game by leaving him. What I found is all of this is so childish and unhealthy. I couldn't deal with the games any longer as it is exhausting.

[@sidarthur8706]

that's it

[@stephanieduncan9023]

Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp : [phone]

[@rohithreddy75]

Any normal person wouldnt do it back

[@profilingmanipulation]

You know what my revenge was after 10 years & two babies, Leaving! And even now 7 years on I live the hell out of life in spite of him. I wear what I want, I do what I want & slap as much makeup on as I want. It's bizarre to think in the UK in this day and age you can actually be oppressed in a relationship, simple day to day freedom is under rated, just sitting in peace in my own home without feeling completely head f*cked or traumatised after doing absolutely nothing wrong is bliss, life is too short for hate or bitterness, it definitely gets better. I just wish I knew then what I know now as I wouldn't of wasted 10 years on some crazy roller coaster with a psychopathic, violent npd nut job.. Your vids are brilliant btw xoxo

[@QueenX222]

I have been in the same sit. and Just Left the one I were blind he's right it's like brainwashing Its still fresh But I know it's one of the best decision I ever made I had 3Kids with the narc. but I'm free and have some Peace I have set boundaries and he's trying to break them but I am standing Firm

[@profilingmanipulation]

+Xiomara Sacasa Good for you! Stay strong 😘😘

[@QueenX222]

Ok

[@charliechase7390]

Biten once, shame on you. Twice, shame on me. You like so many mothers out there, want to blame your own stupid decisions to have children (2!) not 1, 2 children with some one that you KNEW you would not be happy with in the long term. Good luck being a second rate single mother for the rest of your life.

[@profilingmanipulation]

Cheers Charles Love & Light! 😘

[@4GodsPeople]

I don’t want revenge or for anyone to suffer... I just want peace

[@barbaraleszczynski2214]

Pamela L. Ables Pamela...I'm with you here and completely understand. I am today going through the suffering of dealing with a narcissistic sister who is tormenting me. I don't want revenge but peace just as you. Just your comment made me realize what a sweet and gentle soul that you are. I hope and pray that your life has or will soon be peaceful as you deserve. God Bless!

[@gmatinky3965]

🙏🙌

[@dedrostjean4773]

That's my exact feeling, leave it in God hands

[@primsandwhims7533]

You get peace by getting away from them. And whatever they do is on them. It's not anyone's fault but theirs. They can't accept fault. So if they commit suicide that's their fault.

[@irenemorley6518]

Bless.

[@marye8624]

Extremely well articulated. So totally nailed everything about Narcissism. His last comments "Grow up. Move on. Live well." and "know yourself, know your boundaries" is life changing. Thank you!!

[@074FaTiiH]

KInda sad I've learned more about life in 37 minutes on KZbin than these past 1.5 years at my education. Great video mate thanks.

[@andreameyer6393]

This is brilliant!

[@eldona7747]

I agree!!! Although I've done a lot of personal development in the last 3yrs, it didn't make a difference when I met a narc. I've found a deeper understanding now. Thank you!

[@ardm6815]

Starve the narc. Meaning every thing you say in response to their provocative manipulations is their AMMO. So stop talking! Keep it as minimal as possible.

[@Kayenne54]

Yes. Give 'em nothing, take 'em nowhere, and drop them off suddenly half way to nothing. Don't even give them a reason why.

[@nickaiser5231]

Being sarcastic or lying can help.

[@donmulder8061]

Excellent point. As a tactic, use your ever present smartphone. "Excuse me, I have to take this call..." LOL

[@nickaiser5231]

@@donmulder8061 it works. If they want to be the star in your life make them non existent.

[@formepvp]

have been doing this for years, its not satisfying

[@friedawaters5077]

Richard...The best revenge is to lead a happy life, without the narc playing any part in it. Luv Max!!

[@D1987Gd]

Frieda Waters ....YES!!

[@venusianscorp]

Yes I don't think I can ever go to that level. Best revenge is to live our life well and do what builds us up. And of course no contact from them.

[@clairechloe5294]

Frieda Walters - Yes so true and well-said. Thanks for those precious words.

[@Celestialtiff]

I loved everything about this! you're like a breath of fresh air in this toxic world of narcissism. You're hilarious! Keep being true to you, it's much needed, AND appreciated! ✌

[@nikkik3263]

But my narcissist blocked me. I heard they get their fix that way by thinking they are hurting you. Best to show ur living ur life.

[@mathewdempsey2661]

If there not a narcissistic person this can do a lot of emotional damage if you get it wrong , he's telling the public to self diagnose , not everybody is a narcissis getting this wrong and the person loves you hope this world gets it right

[@peggypaula7783]

The best thing I advise anyone who is dealing with a narcissist who has a severe personality disorder is to run as fast as you can. You can't put yourself down into their evil world. Anyone who has any empathy can't deal with an NPD. They are mentally ill and you will just be putting yourself into more distress! My Narc would kill cats as a child and would get excitement out of causing havoc and disorder. It's like dealing with a demon!

[@OfftoShambala]

yes and by all means don't have sex w people u hardly know ... if u end up w a child w someone like this ... they will use the child to hurt you and you w b stuck dealing w them... I try to tell people to wait get to know someone and b willing to walk away once you start seeing signs...before taking the risk of having children... unfortunately it is often not until children come along that one can see that the person is more than just displaying human imperfection, but is a serious problem... usually these people are in a rush to get married or will try to have a child... both my children were conceived this way and my life has been hell... certainly not all probs w these whacked out manipulators start out that way, but its a sign to be concerned

[@kalkeikuu]

I totally agree...RUN! I'm married to a narc, for 22 years. I didn't know for years that he was a compulsive liar, and had another dark side. I met him when I was 18; now I'm 41 and I finally am beginning to see him as the person he truly is. I think the signs were there from the start, but I was so young and naive, that thought that he'd outgrow it. Over the years, he repeated the same patterns, was trying to talk to and get with women very young on Facebook and had men of these women threaten my husband. He is a manipulative, lying pig. I finally discovered his bigger lies and he exploded at me when I found out. Twenty minutes later, his personality switched to mr. Nice guy, like nothing happened, tried to kiss and make up with me to distract me from what I just found out. He's very likeable by many. I can't believe I've been married to this scary stranger all these years. So please, heed the warning signs, and RUN!

[@OfftoShambala]

NaturalHI Yep... I have experienced that jekyl and hyde thing too... freaky... choose joy!!!!!!!

[@KarasekUS]

+Peggy Paula _"My Narc would kill cats as a child and would get excitement out of causing havoc and disorder."_ That's not just NPD. He's actually a psycho.

[@jorgepeterbarton]

I think tactics of revenge could easily just be gaslighted back at you, they'll use the 'no you are the bad one' argument I guess so its pretty risky. RIse above it I guess.

[@mikey777799]

Saying "I do not consent" won't work as they don't care about boundaries and will keep coming at you, and playing their game isn't great advice either. Look up "grey rock", quietly let authorities know of the toxic person and allude to your willingness to go to court on grounds of harassment so you are taken seriously. Ignore the person unless communication is unavoidable. Learn not to take the narcissists behaviour and smear campaigns personally by keeping in mind they are a completely delusional crazy person.

[@lindawright6764]

mikey777799 you set boundaries for you not them!!Took me a long time to learn this.

[@michaelocallaghan1163]

mikey777799 thanks for this. Its helpful to hear it said.

[@candiceguzmanpetravillegas8973]

Every time you move your hand, the dog says, “this might be the move that pets me!”

[@jamespecking]

After learning a lot from grannon’s work and set clearer boundaries, I’ve noticed that if I retaliate against the narcissist with a smile on my face they really back off. If they see that you are taking pleasure in hurting them emotionally they are fooked. If you retaliate in a bad emotion state ie, anger... you’ve lost

[@wayofthefrogholisticcoachi6834]

I made flash cards of their tactics based on HG Tudors work and every time they come at me I name the tactic and say nothing else. They lose all power and leave.

[@TheWaxwoman]

wow ! so powerful !

[@asimplesoul5652]

Way of the Frog Holistic Coaching where do you get the flash card idea?

[@TawnyC_]

What did you put on the flash cards?

[@lauracserep1137]

found them here www.wayofthefrogreiki.com/npdcards

[@thejessman1460]

You’ve got to starve them of their “supply” and go no contact as much and often as possible.

[@marylewis2167]

That is what I'm doing to a person who stole from me. Totally ignore BOUNDARY!!!!

[@Guardianangel369]

This is what I'm doing, I've gone from being a desperate crying mess who calls him begging to come back, to now not giving a shit and ignoring him, i know he's confused And I think he's panicking that I'm moving on, and guess what, he's now contacting me! He even said to me after we spoke, I'll call you tomorrow, but he didn't. Now normally I would have called him asking why he didn't call me back, but I did nothing! Now I know what I'm dealing with I'm not hurt anymore, he's sick and I know anyone he's with will get the same treatment, I spent so long thinking it was me, but it's him! It might be the wrong thing to do, but I'm playing him at his own game, I hold the cards, and he doesn't have a clue!

[@MrGilRoland]

Beware of this “tactic” if you’re still in love, because once you starve them of their supply, it’s not like they stop to be a narcissist. They’ll search for new supply, they’ll search for new supply like literally their life depends on that, with all that it means. So, as always, it’s all good as long as you know what you’re doing and why. “Revenge” usually isn’t a good counselor.

[@lauramartin-adams1551]

I agree with Max😀 I am married to a man who's mother is a covert narcissist which has caused our marriage much stress over the years. My husband has FINALLY started to see his Mom's true colors as he's grown as a person and get some self esteem. As a result he is avoiding contact with his Mom which she blames me for "breaking" up her relationship with her son which she had stated that was my plan all along😕 I grew up in a horribly disfunctional family and believe my own mother was a narcissist, she passed away when I was 15 so I desperately wanted a close relationship with my mother in law but that was not to be sadly. I have accepted the reality of who and what she is and now watch in sorrow as my husband comes to terms with this reality as well. my heart hurts for our entire family and mourns the loss of the mother and grandmother we all wished and at one time desperately believed we had. With this acceptance though has come a closeness and strength to my relationship with my husband which his mother nearly destroyed. thank you that is all😉

[@Angus1966]

Exposing or confronting a true narc can be dangerous. So be careful.

[@jeanettecook1088]

People don't realize that this is true. I was almost murdered by a narcissist... they are quite capable of crime. The best method is to depart silently after preparing for your exit... no noise, discussion, just go. Maintain "no contact" after that. It takes a bit of mental discipline... but it's the only effective way to deal with a narcissist. Don't go back!🎉

[@danchapmanpiano]

I have found, through my experience, that I can easily get revenge on the narcissist because of the web of lies they create, and their habit of running away from all their BS

[@rickramos1292]

I love you man. This video has brought me great comfort., I just broke off a more than 15 year friendship with a covert narcissist and I've never felt so liberated in my life. It was almost creepy how your every word perfectly described the narc in my life. Everything from the mindset to their tactics to the effects of those tactics on us--the people who really cared for them--is exactly what I endured for over 15 years. I think what stings most is discovering that after 15 years of friendship, the narc in my life finds it extremely easy to pretend they never knew me and to speak about me as you'd speak about a hardened criminal or very evil, malignant individual. After everything I did, all the compromises, sacrifices, biting of my tongue, and generally anything I did that was positive and cast a good light on me, was completely and unceremoniously forgotten. Had I been a needy person, I'd had died from sorrow. Thankfully I've always been fiercely independent and I don't need validation from others to be happy so it was easier for me to miss the warning signs. I'm just glad videos like these exist. Keep up the good work man!

[@decor4fun816]

+Rick Ramos I'm in the process of ending a 15 yr marriage, and I simply removed myself from the marital property (for now), I'm seeking a divorce. I retained an attorney (he did not). He has not responded to the divorce papers, but then why would he, because in his mind I walked away so he thinks he will get the house...he's sadly mistaken. My story is similar to yours in that he acts as if we never knew one another, because to show any type of feelings would make them him seem "weak". I, like you, have always been independent, and although it stings, I know with time I will most definitely come out on top. I agree, it is very nice to see someone who advises to challenge the narcs rather than just let them have their way like the spoiled little brats they pretend to be. I wouldn't let my own child get away with such behavior, let alone an adult (acting as if they're a child).

[@rickramos1292]

+decor4fun I'm so, so sorry that you've had to deal with one of these toxic individuals in marriage. They refuse to discuss things in a rational, mature manner because they refuse to give us the satisfaction of a response. Imagine that, being so delusional and far gone with their sense of importance and grandeur, that mere texts and voicemail are suddenly obsessive stalking. Hang in there. It is tough but just remember you are right and he is wrong and there's nothing he could do about that.

[@THE-zv7vj]

how i took revenge on my narc ZERO contact

[@carlogambino1979]

And did it work did she not hoover?

[@twelvesmylimit]

Same here.

[@rpmcmurphey927]

THE 1 High five- That's the only way. Break free, without guilt, simultaneously heal. ZERO is all it takes.

[@amymuchko7106]

I was gonna say.

[@sarahjohnson8514]

carlo gambino They all hoover.

[@DaveTheTurd]

Man, I wish I'd found this info a couple decades ago...

[@ModernDomme]

Yeah kind of like the codep empath 😄

[@themetamorphosisofgipsy]

You and me both

[@Guardianangel369]

Yes!!!

[@melntribe4403]

Better later than never ;)

[@flubby18]

Pranks you can play on a narcissist: 1- Call them by every permutation of their name but the right one. If their name is Al, call them Earl, then Dale, Then Fred... 2- Never look right at their eyes and talk to an imaginary person named Keenu standing just over their shoulder. 3- Ignore them as if they are a ghost you cannot see. 4- Act as if their voice is in your head and beg the voices to stop. 5- Mail letters to their address with every kind of name but their own. Then start the letter with an entirely different name. Put their own address on the return address with their real name.

[@flubby18]

+Nicolay Bidder So I'm guessing you're a narcissist?

[@flubby18]

+Nicolay Bidder Then you already know you need to seek professional help before you screw up royally.

[@zhibyful]

I died laughing at #1 because indeed, they often pull exactly that stunt (not remembering your name, eye colour, etc), but WHOA do they get irked if you mispronounce or completely forget their name.

[@abara5678]

Easy, just ridicule him infront of other persons, new people work the best, make a little joke etc about something they are concious of and watch them IMPLODE :D

[@lilsunshine7265]

When contact is unavoidable, I spell his name in all lowercase.

[@buddha8910]

It's really about knowing the nature of the beast. But not becoming one. It's really about knowing thyself. With awareness everything can be dealt with in a better way.

[@vaiciciaku]

JD ashcroft I think it is also practicing stepping out of the comfort zone and acting differently. Once acting like a predator has the concequence of pulling you out of the victim role forever! ; )

[@buddha8910]

Yes being a victim renders one powerless. And unable to move forward. However I wouldn't advocate revenge.

[@vaiciciaku]

If you watched the video, I think it has a more provocative title rather than contents. He is more advocating trying the other side of the game, just trying an opposite role in order to better understand what a narc is really made of. IMHO it also serves a great purpose to get out of the usual role of a victim. He definitely does not advocate becoming predators and prosecuting all the narcs you can find and destroying them all with their own weapons. I think from the nature we are so far on the other scale that a little practice makes us a bit more balanced but not narcs ourselves.

[@mef1975]

JD ashcroft Quite difficult to be abused without becoming an abuser. It's takes a bit more than awareness, but yeah, that's totally necessary. It would take like the exercising of a sort of free will (that the awareness can help bring) to put forth new thought patterns and reroute neural pathways as new habits are being developed. Some people go as far as to brainwash themselves with drugs and change their name. Pretty freaky, those trips to Peru. I wouldn't do anything like that.

[@JB-gm5hz]

JD ashcroft Thank you, and well said. I found this link very helpful to expand my awareness: www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201311/6-signs-narcissism-you-may-not-know-about There's a lot of empowerment in separating oneself from a narcissist by choice and moving on to better things. It's a way to step out of the victim role without taking on negative traits.

[@The_jenn_diagram]

You literally save my life and my sanity with these talks, Richard. I am surviving my narcissist abuse and I am writing a survival guide book, writing it as things happen. Send good vibes

[@francesjames7055]

Revenge? I personally knew when I had completely healed from the Narcissistic abuse that I had suffered........I NO LONGER hated him. I am NOT excusing his cruelty or his horrible manipulation of me and all the other victims he had preyed upon (mostly gullible females like me)......BUT........I can truly say that I have forgiven him. That's how I know that I have healed.

[@fx4147]

karma will take care of them

[@phoenixrisin2269]

You can’t hate someone that isn’t human!

[@whatarefriends4]

Yes I have no desire for the chaos to continue. I love this person and feel pity for her. I would fix it if I had the power

[@gmatinky3965]

🙏🙌🌈

[@antmmmm]

the dog is a malignant narcissist, look how he just sits there sadly when attention is not put on him

[@lisarochwarg4707]

I'm going to load up on cabbage and beans. That narc will rue the day he was born! BRUUPPP!

[@cholewess4137]

ant migzlon nooo not Max! 💜

[@lendumore]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@christophermosley5885]

ant migzlon lol!

[@mizmizappa]

The dog ain't a narcissist he didn't care a flying fart He just wants to give and receive lots of love and if it doesn't happen then he thinks "farts to the lot of them -narcissistic humanoids"-or is it haemorrhoids oh well hey ho fart fart fart.,....,....,',💩

[@DonaldHTyers]

Extremely well said! Great videos! This one is the very best ... I just calmly confronted a Narcissist in a meeting this week and he went friggin nuts! It worked! He was suddenly exposed to the others in the room.

[@NOT_SURE..]

how did you do it ? what did you say?

[@Roxsandee]

Very helpful. Just catching on to Narcissism. Been a victim all my life. Now I isolate.

[@kasechris]

You shouldn't stay in a place of isolation. I did that for so long. It takes work and effort, but you can grow and learn and learn how to spot boundary-less people. There are many decent people out there. Keep up learning and watching the videos!

[@pamelamacdonald9139]

me too

[@Roxsandee]

:..AND ME TOO...YEARS OF ISOLATION...FINALLY I FORCED LEAVING THE SAFETY OF NO CONTACT WITH ANYONE...MET SOME PREDITORS...BUT WITH THIS NEW INFO I QUICKLY MOVED ON ...JUST THIS WEEK I BEGAN NURTURING 2 NEW FRIENDS...I EASILY SEE THEY ARE GOOD PEOPLE. I BET THIS TIME NEXT YEAR I'LL MESSAGE AND TELL YOU WE'RE STILL FRIENDS...THANKS RICHARD...YOUR INFORMATION ALLOWED ME TO ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS AND LISTEN TO THE ANSWERS

[@Roxsandee]

THANX KIM...HOW RIGHT YOU ARE...BLESSINGS TO YOU...

[@christophermosley5885]

Roxsan Ambrosini that's what I'll be doing SOON

[@karlamoss5182]

I completely understand that. After 20+ years of marriage with a narc I learned how to crack his shell open and I used that knowledge during divorce to show the judge who my husband really was. That is exactly what Richard said: I am no longer the victim.

[@abusedwife5656]

How did you do that. I was married to one for 32 years, I left him and he hired a crooked lawyer and screwed me out of everything

[@abusedwife5656]

He even turned my family against me.

[@bethtenhave4883]

It took two marriages to narcissists to shatter my illusions and to understand, at a deep level, that just because people seem nice and behave normally, it doesn’t mean that they are what they appear. I knew that at a logical level, of course. But somehow, when I was confronted with people like that, I just took them at face value, as I tend to do with everyone. It’s taken a long time and a lot of heartbreak, but I am doing better now. At this point, I’m not sure if I will ever trust anybody, completely, again.

[@atlrts]

Best revenge is No Contact if you can help it.

[@rawfoodphilosophy7061]

just run from them.......run as fast as you can!!!!!!!!

[@AnaLuizaHella]

you didn't watch the entire video. Watch it and post a decent comment. lol

[@Syphonfllter]

RAW FOOD PHILOSOPHY They'll catch up and save your day, take advantage.. You have to literally be independent in all aspects to ''run away.''

[@AnaLuizaHella]

you're so right! But at least now with the "diagnosis" narcissist personality being given to the abusers it became easier to even talk about the abuses. Back in the seventies those who were being abused were the centre of the discussion. "S/he is depressed; schizo or whatever." so they need to be treated. Even though there were some people like R D Laing showing that families were one of the problems and the parents abused their children, too little attention was paid on the source. Dysfunctional family is too vague and all the explanations of mothers who were abusive depended on the theoretician. Maybe one day it will be possible to sue someone for "emotional abuse".

[@kathleenwippel397]

You can't. The elements of devaluing and control are beyond belief.

[@carmend9321]

Run where?Wounded and scare? .....Maybe there are other solution like self-prepare. To run away is safe and childish,but when you grow up and you wll tired to run. you will consider other alternative. Have you observe in nature,a wounded animal who run is always chase, but a wounded animal who attack have a chance to remain territorial. I give up to run,I like to stay and grow roots.

[@evercleanhomeandoffice2839]

Richard..I love these videos. I played the victim with my now ex narc for 8 years. Discovered last year exactly what I was dealing with...grew a pair and dumped him. It's been the most well worth journey of my life the last 12 month's. I'm a total grown up now and take much more care in whom I choose to spend time with. I live in peace ...have more money ...I set firm boundaries with everyone and don't allow others to treat me like crap. I can honestly say that all you have said totally works. People do just have to realise that it's not their fault they got abused...but it's there responsibility to walk away and learn to live a happy healthy life on their own. Thanks so much

[@maryw3989]

the best revenge is living well, don't worry be happy just don't allow the toxic people to pollute your world with their childish games.

[@beverlykrichardson]

YEEEESSSSSSSS!!! Awesome Video!!! I learned this game when I was 6!! My malignant narc mother is a piece of work! Thank God, I had a normal Father who taught me how to analyze these types of people.. my mom would do her crap and my dad would explain to me what she was doing and how to deal with it. Basically to just mirror them or stand firm in not playing their game. Once people actually understand the game, they'll never be fooled by a narc ever again. Once they "know", they'll look at Narcs and laugh or get tickled. It IS what it IS and once a Narc is called on their shit IE: I know your game and I choose not to play, so F off"... the Narc is left sitting there with the wind out of their sails, lol You will literally feel them deflate when you tell them that their words don't hurt you anymore as you shrug your shoulders and say "now carry on" or "what were you saying"? On an ending note... the older Narcs get, the worse they get (my mom is now 72)

[@ashley_alex]

Pretty cool! I tried this and it actually worked. I took all the anger and started thinking about how disgusting a narcissist is. It's not the love we deserve. Narcissists are actually gross and don't feel bad for thinking that.

[@illyillyill]

I don't know. ... Narcissists don't care enough about human life for a personal revenge quest to really do much to them. The energy you put into "getting revenge" against them will not be worth what ultimately happens to the narcissist in the end. To narcissists people are just rolls of toilet tissue, and while you're getting "revenge" they're just looking to grab another fresh roll, and that's all they care about. If want to take revenge on the vampire that is the narcissist just cut them off of your blood supply completely. In other words completely abandon them. Mentally, and physically. It will KILL them to not have your blood supply. They'll have no choice, but to find another blood supply if they can, but the fact that they let a good supply source get away will INFURIATE them for the rest of the miserable lives.

[@DaminalTheAminal]

ILLAngel101 Watch the ENTIRE video!!! And you will find not only does Richard (SpartanLifeCoach) agree with you... he shows a better way to cut off their supply.

[@marshamoore7]

ILLAngel101 I have to agree with you. Why waste any more of your precious time on these people. By entertaining them by plotting "revenge", still shows that they have control over you. It's like a child mentality, some attention is better than no attention at all, good or bad. They feed off the attention. Don't give them the satisfaction.

[@Ardepark]

ILLAngel101 But the insight you are sharing here is hard won usually by being able to put yourself in their shoes and trying a few moves of your own on them. So it's not you just getting wailed on all the time, it's you being able to fight back and let them know they should fuck off if they try that again. I think Richard is not talking to people like you who already understand the childishness and weakness of the narcissist. That understanding means you are already stronger than them. Rather he's talking to the weak ones who are still wrapped up in the narcissist's game. They have to mature into a mindset like yours by toughening up and deflecting a few punches and throwing a few of their own. That's the "revenge" part. After that, if one is not a narcissist oneself, there will be no desire for vengeance anyway, you'll just walk away happy. And hence the real revenge.

[@brazenturtle]

Ardepark ah, but if they were to hack your computer or something, they'd know you watch videos like these and post comments and give your inner attention so they'd know you CARE... and... you'll say they dont KNOW it, but what if they FEEL it?

[@Ardepark]

Brazen Turtle Not sure what you're getting at.

[@angeltangle]

The best revenge is to live the shit out of your life. This time 10 years ago I was in relationship with an overt narcissist, which (I think fortunately for me) overlapped with the death of my covert narcissist mother. He frequently denied me the opportunity to properly deal with her death by refusing me the space I needed and expected me to be over-it. After 6 months his mental abuse lead to me having severe anxiety attacks and an eventual nervous breakdown. I spent the next 4 months trying to get out of the relationship. Yet, he wouldn't let me break up with him, I had to let him discard me. Looking back I actually laugh at the lengths he went to trying to control his reputation by infiltrating my social circle after we broke up. Continuing to disrespect my boundaries by covertly stalking me for 4 years, sending 'my friends' to plead with me to not ignore him (withhold my supply) by attempting a smear campaign against me. I was so angry with myself for having survived life with my mother to end up with someone like him. However, despite the hurt, abuse and pain he caused me, I learn't important lessons in setting boundaries, demanding respect and taking responsibility for my happiness. 5 years ago, I actually got the opportunity in front of 'my friends' to tell him I forgave him, because I knew he had NPD, that he was sick and needed to seek professional help. I'd never witnessed the implosion of an ego before, he literally deflated in front of my eyes, he looked so small and withered. His actual response to me was that I was sick and needed to seek professional help. He was broken, he knew I could see trough his mask and wasn't going to feed his ego. I'll admit it was very satisfying to see that. I've never seen him again. 3 weeks after that incident I met the man I'm now engaged to, I've relocated to another country and couldn't be happier. My life is now is something I'm so grateful for. These narcissistic people exist to teach us lessons about the limits of abuse we are prepared to tolerate in our lives and challenge us to find the strength to stand up for ourselves and to overcome it. We have more than a right but an obligation to be happy.

[@19katsandcounting]

Angela Tannor you're awesome! 🤗

[@tarawalton6778]

I don't usually post.....but WOW! Your story gives me TRUE encouragement. I'm beginning to see the 'light' at the end of the tunnel. Peace & Blessings

[@whotelakecity2001]

So why are you still watching these videos?

[@ARedMagicMarker]

With narcs, you always gotta keep on your toes. Always.

[@missdesireindependance5194]

Great post!!

[@daisycastelino6323]

OMG!! this was all I needed to learn at this exact point in my life. I'm ever so grateful to you Richard for your time and guidance thru this video🙏 God Bless!!

[@rjs1341]

The only way to deal with a Narc is exit and cut off, entering into any game or revenge is dangerous IMO.

[@aninacha1]

as I listen to this I just want to break down and cry. I went through every one of those example and I was too naive to realize what I was allowing to take place. So many times he made me feel like I was crazy and I was the issue and even when I caught him acting without moral concequenses he managed to spin it around and making me consider that maybe I was over reacting. I came here to see a way to get revenge. I'm still hurt. However, I now realize that my revenge will be moving on with my life, work on my career, and heal emotionally.

[@DerSpielMann]

After watching hundreds of videos, this one really helped me see the light finally. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[@tunkytunky]

People who are narcissistic can actually sometimes learn IF you actually do what you are saying here. It's amazing just how much they get through life without anyone just turning it around on them and forcing them to experience that same suffering. I did this where I just began to mimic their behavior and also specifically get them where they hurt (and this person was reasonable enough that I could say "See how that feels when someone does that to you?") and it was a complete turn around for that person, who I cannot eliminate from my life reasonably. They became more empathetic because I taught them that hard lesson. The person kicked and screamed and called me mean but eventually they actually began to grow up as well. There might be people who are unteachable but at least when you do this you show them they cannot make you the victim. I was pleasantly surprised that this was the advice you gave because this was the thing that worked for my situation. I feel very validated.

[@CK-831]

+EK Okada EXACTLY. i'm not a victim here, i've played along, learning along the way. standing up for ones' self REALLY pisses them off but you know what? i've learned to do it ANYWAY. not reacting to the childishness helps, GREATLY.

[@ambershaffer4896]

They absolutely don't like it when you stand up for yourself and take the power/control out of there hands, and show them or as they refer to as a "GAME" how it feels or dish back how they treated you. Never got played, but I played along until I was forced to play the "GAME" not only did I play but was better than what they thought, so shocking them came from left field. They don't like it if you one-up them either.

[@ruby-qv5bd]

This is absolutely the best advice I have heard on waking up and standing tall from Narcissist abuse. All of this is so fantastic, but it doesn't come easily for some of us out here. It takes time and work to get strong, but do the work. It is worth it to be strong and start to see things as they really are and not as you want to see them. Wow! I just really love all that you have said here and appreciate the help you are giving to others. Thank you so much for being the giving kind person that you are.

[@MaineGalVal]

Clearly, going full No Contact really is the best revenge, but if that's not possible, I agree that provoking them (if it is safe to do so) so that they have a public hissy fit that exposes them can be incredibly useful. If you can do it craftily so that you come out smelling somewhat like a rose, so much the better. This is one way that I got my narcs to expose themselves, making it easier and easier over time for me to justify having less and less contact with them.

[@plalelal]

My narcissist is so adept they have a ferris wheel full of people loaded at all times. If you don't play their way or leave, i.e. get off the ferris wheel, they just go to the next person on it.

[@vaiciciaku]

BodaBoom BigAl two narcs I know are constantly on the ferris wheel, a very good remark!

[@plalelal]

Vida CK The narc's aren't on the ferris wheel, their victims of supply are.

[@vaiciciaku]

BodaBoom BigAl thanks for pointing out! Maybe I need to understand the concept of ferris wheel better. And I thought I know everything about narcs! ;)

[@plalelal]

Vida CK LOL! No prob, hell they confuse us all, right?

[@eartianwerewolf]

BodaBoom BigAl it isn't hard to get people groveling to be honest.

[@dreamclaw00]

"Max has farted , speaking of serious consequences..." I lost my shit when you said that.🤣🤣🤣 (Great video and advice btw)!

[@jbaez3462]

you ARE awesome we gotta stop playing the "victim role" this is the type of medicine i need.

[@meevee7464]

I was crying after watching this video....don't worry, they were happy tears. I have been on my journey of codependency recovery and I got so much insight after watching this video. SO many thing things became clear about the narc in my life. I wish I had words to explain the relief I feel. I wish I had seen this years ago!! THANK YOU SO MUCH for your knowledge. You are a blessing and a savior in this world. Sorry to sound so cheesy but I have been in tremendous pain for so many years and tried so much therapy but nothing has hit me so deep like your videos and this one in particular. I can't thank you enough for sharing your knowledge with me and us Richard.

[@amtonio5602]

Yeah after 20 years I see there is no happily ever after that I was looking for. they like to make up their own hell

[@SydMountaineer]

I learned the hard way that just listening to or just associating with a narcissist is consenting to their behavior. That's why, when they do something worse, they expect you to allow it, as if nothing happened.

[@BagLadyJournals]

Thank you! Your video is very empowering. The idea that the Narc's tactic of propaganda is bang on. I hadn't thought of that word to describe it. When you talk about the narc sticking their fingers in your wounds; it was an aha moment. When I detached from the narc, soon after he sent me an email listing all the reasons why he thought I was mentally unstable. He also brought up my divorce, my miscarriage and my children, all areas of sensitivity and very personal events in my life. This was all under the guise of 'concern' for me. Sick!! Love your co-star :)

[@catherinepolak7338]

I totally agree with the morality part. This days a lot of cruelty and evilness is justified by simply being from "other culture"....

[@jd-hx2zx]

Katerina Polak A lot of cruelty and evil is justified by pointing the finger at "other cultures" and ignoring what we're doing to these same people as well.

[@colleenmcgavin8980]

Fantastic advice. I'm out of a narcissistic relationship and have been trying to think of a way of revenge. But your comment about the best revenge is living well really hit home. I am in the process of doing that and have let go of the dreams of revenge. These people will continue their behaviour and will be found out anyway.

[@David-eu1ms]

we've been conditioned to feel powerless, just exercise a little bit of resistance and see what happens.

[@hafu1403]

+david kyle they reject you

[@David-eu1ms]

+hafu that's a good thing

[@aldocostantini5248]

+david kyle they destroy you....or make a good attempt at it. and they get away with it... if the victim is not aware and educated about narcissism...

[@Kirky94]

david kyle I know what happens you will argue with them and then be punished for standing up for yourself.

[@hollybailey3555]

Thanks for the great insight. Very helpful for someone who is now free from 12 year marriage to a narcissist. Unless you have been there, you dont understand. I got so tired of being told it was my fault i wont even date anymore. It's been 3 years and i still havent been on a date! Ive never had a person FOOL ME like he did..........and then trap me so i cudnt leave. I didn't know it was possible for a person to do that to you, but once you have children with someone YOU ARE STUCK! and the laws dont make it any better cause they can keep torchuring you after it's over by using CHILD VISITATION LAWS.........I don't know if i will ever be able to TRUST a man again..........i definately need counseling or something........i learned alot from what you said............It was a relief to finally hear someone say it's not my fault..........thank you

[@JLgettinthruit]

ask Holly Bailey sorry you have been through all that. Hope you're doing better.

[@CRHall-ud9mq]

I did end up instinctively doing as Richie is suggesting, I 'turned the table', so to speak. It worked, as Richie explains, to a point where I identified what I was dealing with and went no contact. It hurt more to learn what I was dealing with, and I felt a great sense of guilt at playing that game, but then also a strengthened awareness of the importance of fairness and humanity. Determinedly, I regained my sense of balance, working with emotional literacy and towards healing my own wounds. Thanks Richie!

[@deannashelpman9441]

Hello, I also wanted to add a comment that has been a real Revelation for me. during the time of my relationship with the narcissist I found it strange that every time I saw a picture of him I didn't think it looked like him it was so strange it was like it was two different people. I couldn't understand why when I was with him I thought of him as being so beautiful and perfect and yet when I saw pictures of him I swear it looked like a different person I thought I was crazy. now I know that when I was with him I must have been seeing him with my brainwashed Mind's Eye and when I looked at a picture it was reality the brain is such a strange thing

[@deborahdayes1167]

Deanna Shelpman I know! It's true

[@Eirene628]

I am so glad I found your reply. I was trying to figure out why his face would "change'. Scary! I could kick myself because I saw all the signs from day 2!

[@gabrielainfante8030]

🙌🏻

[@johnmausteller]

Wow

[@mizzprezli]

This is 1 of the most bizarre phenomena I’ve ever seen with my own eyes! Totally freaks my shit out! This man looks & sounds like a completely different person when we would retire 2 the bedroom 4 the evenin. I even asked him 1 night if he was a shape shifter. Of course a few days later he says & ask the same question 2 me! Really? Difference is, I’m bein serious. U literally look different...different facial features, different posture, different mannerisms, even different speech patterns & tone, pitch. But I would wake up 2 the “original” man that I recognized. So weird makin love with the “body snatcher” I even stopped engaging N sex when he changed 2 this other person cuz it freaked me out so bad. I’m attemptin 2 let him go after findin comments he was havin, secret hidden online conversations that I could not access & conversations with so many women that was puttin me down. The 1 comment that got 2 me the most said something like “I let here run herself off 2night” Hmmm...Y would he do this? 😧oh, yeah, well...makes sense when u think about it long enough. I thought this person really loved me like he said but that is a lie. He can’t love long term, only temporarily 4 his fix then he needs another & another only, I know he doesn’t get his other “fixes” from me😪 How could I so naive, I’m actually a very intelligent soul. I’m empathetic & can read true intentions B4 I even know a persons name. This guy really did miss his callin as an actor. I’m tryin the let him run himself off technique but it’s so hard...I love him so much😖😪 loved, or N love with the facade, that person doesn’t exist & I know he’ll never ever ever, no matter what he says or does, he can’t change. Bein empathic, I’m a pain anorexic, after enduring ppl like this my whole life I have let my head get fucked with enough 4 1 lifetime ther4 I refuse 2 live pretendin that he really is “a good thing”. I just wish these ppl could get help cuz I really don’t think some of them want 2 live this way 4ever but they R trapped N their own nightmare that damages their soul. Wake up, please wake up & come back 2 me😴😴😴😴😴😴😴

[@patriciapatton7375]

Sir, You're keeping it REAL! I Love your no nonsense way of just getting the facts out. So glad I clicked on..... keep it rollin!!!!!

[@lyonhoran9925]

After thirty four years, I finally healed my own traumas with a fabulous therapist and EMDR, and today I am packing boxes and looking forward to a life of my own unquestioned, undisputed authenticity for the first time ever. Thank you for your straight forward, humorous, grown up clarification of what is going on and who we need to focus on ultimately; Ourselves, and the people who genuinely love and appreciate us.

[@gumptown7414]

The best way is to ignore them and say something negative about everything the do. Treat them like their the dumbest most ugliest guy or girl in the school.

[@rationalmystic5]

one of your best videos man.....once you truly get what a narcissist is all about they slowly start looking like a spoilt little child ........it just is soo easy to trigger them ...a simple change in body language seems to be enough. stifle a yawn , act bored , talk to the people around him as you walk past him. play close attention to him and then ask him to repeat what he said saying that your mind was elsewhere....if in the elevator with him then sneeze and don't say sorry.........another good way is to treat them with "super kid gloves" ..........condescendingly with a casual indifference....... but if you are a decent person in your core it will not feel good cause its not in your nature to be that way. use these techniques to demonstrate that you have a strong sense of self in his presence and then leave it at that . don't use them all the time against him. the best way is to ignore him altogether.

[@trishawhitehouse4226]

jaguarfocus iI

[@josegrullon4294]

Good teacher, thank you. I do these studies cause it reminds me of where I have been and where I don't want to be.

[@amandahewett8366]

Wow. First video that really pointed to where the healing can start, not just a lot of floundering within this victim mentality. Key point on the boundaries being shattered somewhere before, helped me a lot to connect the dots, I wish you were my psychologist!

[@lou-annbest1318]

I agree . Richard spoke highly of Pia Mellody and I watched her videos on KZbin for weeks and am much further in my recovery... Check them out !

[@patmurphy389]

so instead of being a 'victim' become a survivor, grow up, take responsibility for your own actions because givers have to set limits, because 'takers' never do, make the present your friend, release judgement of people & events, live well...set your limits for yourself & don't back down on your limits w/others...i think i got it...thank you for the video-excellent

[@more444store6]

I think this is the best video yet on what real narcissism is. They are conmen, criminals, psychopaths, infantile, manipulators, etc....and they are not brilliant, everything you said was very well put! Thank you for this, it has helped me more than any other thing I've heard. You have a great sense of humor too, I needed the laughs as well! Best Wishes!

[@kasechris]

Are you basically advocating, as Sun Tzu says, 'know your enemy'?

[@RICHARDGRANNON]

"Know your enemy. Detach from the enemy. Walk away from the battlefield. Walk away from the enemy. Go eat an ice cream and dance in the sunshine and never look back." *insert the months/years of self-work it may take to simply walk off and eat said icecream as required*

[@kasechris]

Wow that's incredible you said that about the ice cream! I actually had the identical set of circumstances presented to me to take revenge on my narcissist roommate for something awful they had done to me. Rather than actually exact the same revenge, I dangled the power to do so in front of them briefly, said I would never do that not even to an enemy, and walked away. That was enough to set this seemingly mild-mannered covert narcissist who puts on the nice mask everyday into a fury. They left and have been gone for two months, staying with an aunt. All the while the universe has all but yelled at me to stop ruminating and enjoy my life and go have FUN. It seems a very perplexing thing to do when you feel like everything just fell apart. But I have been getting support for years doing hard work and going to a life coach having been the black sheep of the family with a narcissist father. This must be where I am in this journey, learning to enjoy my life in spite of them. A good place to be although it can feel awful! Your videos have helped tremendously. Thanks!

[@queengem8782]

+RICHARD GRANNON SPARTANLIFECOACH very true

[@Lauriandra1]

Know your enemy may not be exactly right, but LISTEN to what they say to you. My counselor reminded me that people tell you who they are all the time. When he/she says, "I'm not good for you, you shouldn't love me" don't feel sorry for them like I did. Run. Another example is in the area which I've spent most of my adult life. In animal rescue. You will run across people who say "I love my dogs more than people". HEAR that. They are telling you who they are, and when push comes to shove, they will turn on you. I've seen it over and over in the rescue world. They don't like people and therefore when someone puts another down, or says bad things about others, they don't need evidence. They don't won't analyze what they've heard against what they know about you. The bad "rumour" that they heard is true to them as it justifies their belief about people. That they are bad and should never be trusted.

[@queengem8782]

People will always be people.... Listen to their small talks... Sometimes it's the real them, if only we will listen good.

[@rhianneddjames212]

making fun of them causes huge injury. asking them to go into detail and to lucidly explain the details around their smear campaigns . My favorate was reminding him of the lies he told by asking him to digress on his stories or asking him to remind me of situations and circumstances with in the lies , with the same mask of innocence that he showed me when he said them . If you want to get a Narc angry ask them to remember a lie.. Ive learned a lot of survival tricks .thankfully Im in a place that is much more healthy .. but these tips helped so much with my own validation of what he was making it easier for me to get away.. as a victim i found it impossible. Turning the tables and putting the gas out of his light was excellent therapy because Im empathetic enough to know he cant do anything about his disabilty but more importantly neither can I . .... think about how much councilng these people would need if they had any true comprehension of the damage they do. It would be self defeating to even try. The absolution of course is im living healthily and happily .. whilst he covertly watches and tries to hack my accounts.

[@Cortanasboyfriend]

Wouldn’t work with me

[@rhianythgrace578]

@@Cortanasboyfriend its interesting victims believe that this kind of thing will never happen to them, until of course it happens. I'm still being cyber stalked but I really don't care I have indifference. Im working my life has grown and moved I don't even have pity that my narc is still stuck stalking. I only revisited this to show a friend that has bravely took the first step to leave, as I have even forgotten most of the symptoms of this personality disorder. So it did work for me. I hope you find something that helps you move forward and grow too. Can't believe its been 4 years almost since I wrote that initial comment.

[@Cortanasboyfriend]

Rhianyth Grace no I’m saying I am the narc and that those tactics wouldn’t work with me cause I’m not a low functioning one

[@Cortanasboyfriend]

Rhianyth Grace as in they wouldn’t make me mad or be able to provoke any aggression out of me

[@rhianythgrace578]

@@Cortanasboyfriend I don't know you.

[@alanshumway2541]

This video is a bit older now and it’s potent relevancy for those suffering, has all but waned.. I feel like you are a brother from another mother and I really appreciate the collective of your work, in case you read this.. This is one the best videos for a narcissistically abused person and a gem, within your growing legacy of helping others.. Thank You🙏🏻

[@patriciaasbill602]

Interestingly enough, causing the narcissist to have a melt-down worked in my case. I recently started a new job, and the person I answer to is a narcissist of the worse kind. He almost succeeded in sabotaging my position and reputation in my job with the owner. Over the last couple of months, it hit me that I had nothing to lose so I started using the same tactics on him as he was using on me. A couple of weeks ago he had a major melt-down in front of everyone including the owner. This past Thursday the owner removed him as my direct report... I'm sure he'll continue to try and get back at me, but at least he's lost most of his control over me...

[@mariag5201]

I suffered a mother, 2 brothers, a boss, 3 boyfriends and when I was a child because I was naive, as an adult because of empathy and part of now- healed co-dependence...and yes, I have put them in more of a predicament and it would do it again but above all I am proud of having left them in the past and still going ahead with my life...that´s my revenge"". Brilliant video.congrats.

[@katsadventures7027]

OMGOODNESS your dog is such a sweet heart!!! :)

[@lekkki1]

Best revenge on a narcissist? Strip them of all of their power over you. Intentionally dismantle all of the structures they rely on to hurt, damage or belittle you. Exclude them from the parts of your life that are personal or private, they thrive on storing bits of info about you they can use to hurt you with later. I stopped telling the narcissist in my life where I worked, who I was seeing, and other private things. This was after years of this individual trying to ruin my reputation at my career, or with my partners. Be very careful with attempting to get them to melt down publicly. They are masters of the blame game, and can keep it going for years. Long-term narcissists are experts at the private meltdown directed at you alone. They will never melt down publicly, they are far too savvy for that. Malignant narcissists are very dangerous people to be around. They may not be violent people, but they are perfectly willing to damage you covertly. Because my Narc is family, I cannot exclude them completely, but I have gotten as close as I could. My life is far better.

[@risingson7773]

Thank you for your vids. They have proven so helpful in starting on a new path, giving a damn about myself and letting go of an extremely draining painful narcissistic relationship. I had never gone through anything like that and I'm so glad I came up on these videos of yours and a few others to finally understand what the hell is going on and do something about it. I would really caution and thinking first before taking Revenge on the narcissist. They truly are miserable and before long they suffer for their own inequities and they usually destroy themselves. Let them, let them go on to whatever fate awaits them. If you feel that you need to take revenge on your narcissist EX perhaps that energy would be better spent on yourself and in a much more positive way. I wanted to so badly and I'm glad I did not. It's best to move on and just worry about yourself for a while and heal. Good luck to anyone out there trying to it is possible, trust me it is possible if you let yourself and Learn To Love Yourself. Happy New Year everyone

[@Bridget51-Z]

You explain it all in such an easily comprehensible and witty way. Thanks a lot for your videos. I recently found them here. I have been several times in relationships or friendships with narcissists, but was lucky enough to get out before more damage was done to me (though I suffered of course). Somehow I managed to remain faithful to myself and I left the abusing, ruthless person. They can be quite glamourous, but in the course of time I looked behind the fassad when I was deceived in one case and when empty promises were made to me. Then I knew that the respective character was not what it seemed to be in the beginning. I have to admit that I used to be quite a people pleaser because I love peace and harmony. But I have learned to set boundaries, which will keep the narcissistic rat pack away. All the best for you! I will continue to listen to your videos.

[@josephinescurry]

I took the advice of no contact.... My mother just picked me up and dropped on a whim..... After 2 years, during which there was a moment we were in the same building, and she walked out of the room I walked into ( her punishment for me was the silent treatment and totally ignoring me) ... The phone rang . I say hello, the voice at the other end said my name, I don't recognise it.... She says 'it's mum'.... I am thrown into confusion and just say 'yes'...... The voice says ' is that it?' ..... And The changed me knew she needed some supply.... So I did turn the tables and replied ' what do you want me to say?'..... And then she kinda knew the game was over... ' oh, it doesn't matter' and hangs up.... The game is so totally over... Go get your kicks somewhere else, mother... Revenge gained....

[@stoop04]

When you try and put yourself in a Narcs shoes you DO start to realize how sad of an existence it must be...problem is that it WORKS for them. Really well. They always have someone willing to play the game with them and make them out to be Queen (or king). It's not fair but its reality. And I don't have to be the one that plays anymore...

[@why2098]

stoop04 They can never experience happiness and joy , though .