How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk - Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish (Summary)

[@joemunch58]

I read this when my oldest (now 25) was a toddler. One of the best books I've read, and its concepts are equally applicable to adults.

[@RememberTheLord]

How is your relationship with your kids over the years? Did they hate you as a teen etc? Did they move far away and stop talking to you? Would love to know if this book is worth diving into, my children are still young but oldest is now a kindergartener so I hope I’m not too late. 😢

[@joemunch58]

@@RememberTheLord They're now 31 and 29; we're good. One went out of town to a school for math / science scholars when he was 16, and some issues did arise, although not with our relationship. I suspect he was experiencing boredom. He later got a Ph.D in astrophysics, lives about a mile from me, and we're good. The other has long been an athlete and manages a gym; also works for me part time.

[@natashawilliams1713]

I still lean on these principles with my 24 and 22 year old daughters! Brilliant and timeless ideas about how to have respectful relationships.

[@mulliganstew72]

I’m learning this to communicate with adults.

[@RealHappyEndings]

I know right.. ;)

[@invitationtoislam855]

I studied this in school and worked for ten years and now I am struggling with my child lol this video helped that a lot… reminded of me the book by Barbara Coloroso I read in school

[@louisegogel7973]

Look up The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff and also Simplicity Parenting with Kim Jon Payne as well as reading all the books that Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish wrote. Then you have true treasure!

[@nixodian]

Brilliant channel! Subscribed, thanks 👍🏼

[@reneemusicus6036]

Not only does this book help with kids, but adults as well.

[@pegbraun]

Thank you for the summary - I read the book years ago but needed a refresher. Great job!

[@tommunistrebel5177]

Wow. I grew up playing a role! Oh my gosh. Ive just sent this to my mum so we can both reflect

[@louisegogel7973]

How did it go with your reflection together?

[@goldenvase1454]

I love This book so much wish you uploaded full audio book .

[@neilmorbs82]

Super useful summary. So clear. thank you

[@stephanieblanco7055]

This video was very succinct. I would still recommend this book to parents to read in full. It has so many helpful passages from common scenarios to parents objections and even their testimonies.

[@RealHappyEndings]

Yes I agree. I find the comics and Summary Pages very useful. I left a link in my description for anyone interested in buying the book!

[@louisegogel7973]

Agreed!!! Read the books… all of them… keep them on hand when you feel you’re going a bit nutty and just open a random page to get some sanity and ideas back.

[@dr.florence]

Isn't it just heart-breaking when you realise what you *didn't* experience as a kid.

[@louisegogel7973]

Redo your childhood in your mind the way you would have liked it to be and the negative energy will start to loosen up, unravel, and soften into something of comfort and even joy!

[@thelazynortherngardener7607]

You can use these methods with your parents too, modeling what you'd like to see in the relationship. They likely didn't know how to do this.

[@basmaahmed7477]

Thank you so must for helping too many parents to correctly reconnect with their kids .. it really helps me to be a better mom and human ❤❤❤

[@AngDevigne]

Thank you 🙏

[@SEGERADORPER82]

Excellent

[@anastaciaborunda9338]

Thank you! This helps so much!

[@LEARNINGSERVING]

Bundle of thanks.

[@chalislove1016]

What a great book! My kids are 1 and 3 so this came to me at THE PERFECT time! Great video summary as well!!

[@agnesmunday1]

Thank you for the clear review of the book, very helpful.

[@RealHappyEndings]

I'm glad you found it helpful! :)

[@Achillguyirl]

Hey it's a wonderful book and you have done such awesome job , I was wondering is that okay if I translate your review in Urdu language plz let me know it might help a lot of mother of this language

[@RealHappyEndings]

Hi, Sorry for the late reply. You can easily translate this video on my channel. KZbin has a very easy process. Just go to the video, click on settings, add subtitles, pick a language, and translate whatever you can! You can choose to be credited if you want as well! Perhaps more people can benefit as you said.

[@beverlyochieng6076]

Thank you

[@estherdeangelis]

An excellent, concise video offering simple and practical insights for parents to easily grasp when dealing with their child's negative feelings. The content is a game changer in the realm of parenting and can absolutely transform a family's life and relationships, breaking unpleasant patterns so that more positive feelings can be acknowledged and expressed. Brilliant !*!

[@effenspirits7043]

Fantastic Video!

[@multilingual972]

I had the honor and the pleasure to know Elaine Mazlish and her husband Bob (parents of a dear friend of mind). Elaine Bob, may they rest in peace were two of the finest people whoever walked the face of this earth!

[@RealHappyEndings]

Wow, you must have learned so much from them just by observation. Their legacy will live on through the education and knowledge they have passed on.

[@louisegogel7973]

Indeed what a blessing to have known them!!! Elaine and Adele and their families have been wonderful angels of Loving Light on this planet!

[@mbalghari]

I love this book..! your video is very helpful to review the whole book in less than 10 minutes..! jazakallah khair Sister Safa..... #TMH

[@RealHappyEndings]

It's a great book indeed. Glad you found the summary useful. Wi

[@sehrishnajaf2190]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/gV7bl36dgK1pjac

[@sehrishnajaf2190]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/gV7bl36dgK1pjac Zeba

[@mbalghari]

jazakallah khair...so you know my passion for Urdu...!

[@sehrishnajaf2190]

Ur neme is very beautiful, so I thought u like & understand Urdu,that's why I send u Urdu video .This channel has good videos with excellent Urdu accent.

[@goldenvase1454]

Pls upload the full audio book thank you❤

[@zaidsserubogo261]

Its good that I learned earlier than this never to under estiment what a human can do according to gender, sex, age, race, belief or education. That's why I debate with kids objectively

[@caseysandkuhl3394]

Very well done summary of an excellent book! I would love to share these with our elementary teachers here in Central America. If I could get you translated audio & wording, could you make this resource in Spanish?

[@RealHappyEndings]

Hi Casey, Sorry for the late reply. I think that's a wonderful idea! Some of my videos have already been translated to Spanish. But this one hasn't yet. You can easily translate this video on my channel. KZbin has a very easy process. Just go to the video, click on settings, add subtitles, pick a language, and translate whatever you can! You can choose to be credited if you want as well! Perhaps more people can benefit as you said.

[@audiolibrosparapadrescon-142]

Hello, I love what you did. Great summary and beautifully done for visual learners!! What program did you use for your drawings?? I would love if you can share. I am working for a presentation for an inner child video and I love this idea!! Thanks in advance!

[@RealHappyEndings]

Hi, Thank you. There are several different programs you can use. Just google whiteboard animation programs. In this video, I used videoscribe.

[@ielshalaby]

Great sum

[@eottoe2001]

It's better than Dale Carnegie for dealing with people in general.

[@lucascantin1950]

Wasn't there a section in the book about particularly difficult children?

[@MastermindX]

1:35 This kid had his life got flipped turned outside down and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you how he became the prince of a town called Bel Air.

[@RealHappyEndings]

Unfortunately the software I used to create this video and others like it, never had many image options. They're getting better, but still have a long way to go.

[@aka5707]

What is the correct response to „no, I won’t put my pyjama on or brush my teeth etc“?

[@RealHappyEndings]

I would try wording it as options. Do you want to wear you pajamas first, or brush your teeth first? Usually giving options works if you do it from the beginning. If the child responds, neither, then I would say, I guess I will choose for you then (choose the one you think they least likely want to do first, while physically standing up and putting out your hand as if you're going to physically take them by the hand to do that option). Almost always the child will start protesting, noooo I want to do option a (or b) first!!! This was either from this book or the book, Setting Limits With Strong Willed Children.

[@SM-gm6hr]

@@RealHappyEndings The problem that i see with this book its that is very easy to write that and think that the kids are gonna do what you told them to do, but usually even with 2 options they don’t want to listen and don’t do the things. I would love to see the people that wrote this book doing it with real kids that are problematic. And see how they would handle a kid when they have to end TV, ipad, go to bed, wash their hands etc.

[@louisegogel7973]

@@SM-gm6hr It does work with all children bit by bit because it is a flexible guideline based on the mindset that there is a win win way and we can come from creative respectfulness towards all of us. You might like to also check out Kim Jon Payne’s Simplicity Parenting.

[@valeriemonday9649]

[@DrKiaDH]

The book is excellent. The representational choices by the artist leave much to be desired. I love that RHE sought to provide a summary for easy uptake. I am saddened that the only Black representation stumbles toward essentializing and stereotype and that the rest of the characters are white. This could be a much more powerful tool, though I can see that it is helping people, which is great. Kudos for the effort. Please consider a more inclusive representational frame moving forward.

[@RealHappyEndings]

You are right... Your comment has made me think purposefully about something I always felt was present. I could explain the structure of creating content to you... and explain away the circumstances that would lead to these results, but it does not feel right to be defensive. Instead know that your comment has been taken in earnest and that there is a lot of work to be done with much care. I must ensure that I do my part to make sure my videos don’t leave a bitter aftertaste in anyone’s mouth.

[@DrKiaDH]

@@RealHappyEndings Thank you for responding and for revisiting that response after the initial comment. For a bit of context, I recently completed moderating a panel related to disparities in health care and the rising rates of Black youth suicide, which is happening despite declines among other youth populations. A key dimension of helping adults support young people's daily creation of hope (nod to James Baldwin) is the ability to communicate openly and effectively. I have long been a fan of the book highlighted here and was excited by the possibility of sharing a pithy, enticing entry point in the form of a video. But, the audience of Black educators, parents, and guardians I would have shared it with would have had to contend with the representational insults (a significant emotional labor with significant cost) while also trying to absorb the message. Because we are grappling with enough trauma, I am careful about what media I share. I decided not to share this video with nearly 2,000 people to avoid reproducing psychological distress. The issue here is not a bitter aftertaste, it's much more serious. I am so glad that you'll be thinking about this as you create content moving forward.

[@sumeet1941]

May I know the age group?

[@RealHappyEndings]

When you're children start communicating (although some people find it beneficial even before then), all the way up to adulthood.

[@abdifatahmohamed8600]

This is really nice. But how would you actually get to teach a child how to like respect their parents once they age, not shout at them, take care of them, love their parents family and friends and just realize how important their parents are? Nice parents might keep bargaining with their kids till the kids get a wrong mental construct on their parents relationship with them. I think the way out is to be actually nice to their grandparents and involve them in that.

[@pidssnim]

Why is a child playing with a saw outside?

[@RealHappyEndings]

Lol! Good point. I can't remember if that example was taken in its exact form from the book or not. Maybe it was an older child? Or maybe it was just a terrible example on my part that I never thought through enough!

[@pidssnim]

@@RealHappyEndings Of course, it totally makes sense if you're talking about my kids!

[@louisegogel7973]

@@RealHappyEndings The book deals with various ages, not just tiny ones! It depends on how we raise them as to how familiar they become with the tools we have around. I always assumed they would want to learn and adjusted what they used according to their current ability, giving more responsibility with advanced tools as I saw they’d mastered the ones before.

[@oneness1_]

This never works imo! You are spoiling the child PERIOD

[@louisegogel7973]

Actually it works really well. I’ve seen it in action and the results are children who grow up interdependent self assured inquisitive and caring.

[@oneness1_]

​@@louisegogel7973 I've also seen the opposite happen too where the child becomes a spoilt brat and narcissistic 😅

[@louisegogel7973]

@@oneness1_ Then it was not applied properly.

[@oneness1_]

@Louise Gogel you're going prob right but then you're prob wrong!