How To Tell If The Narcissist Really Loves You

[@donnaholton1981]

It’s not called A relationship it’s called a relationshit.

[@TYLER-jz6uv]

😂😂😂😅😅

[@salmaraja5777]

I love that 😂😂😂

[@judiezell4306]

😂😂😂❤

[@_Love85]

Lol I've always called it that in my mind lol

[@thegreatarkanum3037]

Donna Holton :😂😂🤣🤣

[@alimarie67]

Narcissists don’t know how to love, they just love what you do for them, and the benefits that you give them!!!

[@AnnaMishel]

Love is “caring about somebody else’s well being”.. A narcissist NEVER, “REPEAT NEVER” cares about somebody else’s well being!

[@AmericanDreamer]

agree

[@octavia9464]

SO TRUE!!!

[@alliwarwick5590]

YEP!

[@AllergictoIdiots-gd9ev]

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@UndeadOzzma]

Exactly right!!!!

[@darwinleacock3868]

Falling in love with a narcissist is like falling in love with a Robot!!

[@AV-kr6gc]

A robot that looks like yourself

[@prettyboymcfly]

Yo forreal... at this point, I feel like i was better off dating SiRi 🤣

[@zandig666]

Ya, super hot !!!!

[@royal4931]

But a robot cannot hurt you unless it's in its program

[@crob2636]

This is insult of robot compared with narcissist

[@lovelymamabearbossbabyjaed869]

They dont love you, they love how you make them feel

[@mikekrueger3262]

And what you do for them

[@lo5ki457]

Fallling in love with a narcissist. For me at first felt like a dream . Soon turned nightmare followed by sleep paralysis

[@happyfish7260]

😂

[@rominburstein7422]

They left their demons behind. Sleep paralysis is a demonic attack. Try to call out the name of Jesus or try to think it if you can’t say it. It will stop.

[@batgirlp5561]

I'm in the sleep paralysis phase😂

[@MrsGambino]

That's EXACTLY what it is demonic influence and possession

[@snjezanakristo6048]

Exactly! I couldn't even sleep at peace! That was just horrible!

[@AjaxNorton]

The disrespect,jealousy and coldness let you know they don't love you

[@davidyardley512]

No narcissist has genuine authentic love for anyone other than themselves. They don't love you, they love what you can give them.

[@slickperspective2745]

I'm going thru that path brother anf now I'm quitting that.

[@straightcashhomey1261]

One thing I learned about myself when questioning if the whole relationship was a farce is: 1) I did not love them, I loved the person they had the capability to become (which they showed me in small glimpses). 2) They are incapable of loving you because they cannot even love themselves. Narcissists cannot love because they cannot have a healthy, strong, committed relationship. At their core, they feel they are unlovable and nothing you can do will change that. They know that they are bad people. As a result, anyone that tries to love them they do not respect and view them as weak.

[@Sabadiver]

This is beautifully put, thank you!

[@kayleenamato3492]

I like this

[@daveh9803]

Well said, in general. The only part I see differently is with seeing the person they’re capable of becoming. In my experience, if they were capable of being that perfect mate, that’s who they would have been. Instead, they studied me, modeled and mirrored me, and pretended to be the woman of my dreams. I saw the glimpses of an ideal partner because that’s what they wanted me to see. In the end, they weren’t capable of being that ideal mate because it was all a mirage of smoke and mirrors. I fell in love with that which they reflected back at me, and that is myself.

[@AV-kr6gc]

@@daveh9803 BRO ! That was my exact same scenario. It fk’d with me psychologically when I came to a realization that it was all a lie. In response to op, sometimes they don’t show you their ugly side because they are coverts. And it’s easy to continue the relationship because they portray themselves as not being a bad person, and blow all this smoke and mirror stuff about themselves being pure and god fearing that you actually believe them. Until you learn what narcissism is and put everything together, or just leave because it got so toxic.

[@davidpaar9806]

Soo sad as just learnt

[@bigslice54]

"They do love you....as long as you are giving them what they want."" CAN WE ALL RELATE?!?!?

[@LushaySoFire]

that’s what i’m dealing right now it’s crazy

[@bigslice54]

@@LushaySoFire that wonderful kindness & admiration they gave you in the beginning now becomes something that is taken from you if you do not "behave"....but we Def do chase after it.

[@AliaMubarak-ch1vl]

YES my mother in law is a narcissistic

[@Oceansgreen]

@@bigslice54 I got discarded after being married for 37 years because I finally stopped giving him what he wanted!!

[@myportal8512]

To sum it up, they are actors.

[@alizamalik3945]

True

[@ciaratheparalyzedpitbull9939]

Spot on,I’m currently dealing with my hopefully soon to be ex wife and she will look dead in the eyes tell me she loves me then go hang out with some other guy

[@galeretacco8537]

If you suspect you’re with a narcissist, run run run far away. They never change and will never change.

[@sanelisiwedlamini7142]

😂😂 what if u r wrong 😂😂

[@jalasword]

@galeretacco8537 OH they change. Not for the better. But there's most definitely a change.

[@manimal4136]

I knew mine was a narcissist when I met her but she's actually good company I've been married 10 years and had 2 sons with my wife she let's me see other women on the side though because she has a cuck fetish anyway I was seeing a narcissistic woman and she got pregnant within 2 weeks she acted crazy because I'd be indifferent and never argue with her she hated me after a month but she tried to put me on child support and couldn't because I'm on disability and have 2 kids already so now she just stops talking to me and hoovers me when she's bored or cheating on the new supply I have no actual supply to offer though she's just physically attracted to me and wanted to control me but now she messages my wife telling her she enables my bullshit my narcissist didn't trap me I trapped her with a son that can't benifit her so I'm just waiting for her to abandon him with me while I pretend not to love this kid the reverse phsycology works on them my wife even told her not to sleep with me so she would try to sleep with me more I turn her down a lot but sometimes she gets a hotel and invites me to hook up last time I got dressed right after and left while she was asleep she blew up my phone but I have my family to get back to lol I'm an empath but I have no empathy for those who have none themselves if you wanna torture a narcissist be one to them and get away with it

[@andrejohnson9651]

Jah Jah!

[@LovemeC444]

They do change & they do love but they are sneaky liers cheaters & the list goes on & on

[@lisastark8907]

They don't FEEL! They have ZERO empathy or genuine regard or respect for ANYONE!!!!!!!!! Including their own children!

[@Gracefull777]

They only feel fear… for themselves.

[@Vvopat96]

They project themselves trough their kids so it is win for them if their kids do well so it's possible for them to raise good kids but he or she needs to be intelligent and logically raise them well

[@Loriburnett]

Yep use them or lose them

[@Hambonebodi]

​@Gracefull777 that's it , they only feel anything for themselves.

[@jnorway7295]

That's exactly why I divorced my narc EX husband. I felt invisible to him & knew he would be a distant, robotic, dictator father. Thank God we never had children.

[@yellowcoyote2148]

A lot of times they sabotage the relationship because they believe you’re gonna betray them or leave them, since they don’t believe anyone could truly love them. They often devalue you in their mind because they fear that you will have the power to hurt them

[@johnvdmeer745]

This right here! This is so true in my case.. thanks for that!

[@TheDude713]

Wow! Your comment! I’ve heard my narc partner say many times that they thought no one could truly love them. Also, the devaluing part; every time we got into an argument, and it was usually because they colored outside the lines of our relationship, I started to show my testicles a bit and call them out. They immediately burned down every bridge between us, did some FB smearing and put me in a time out (in the hole) for awhile until it was too much for me NOT to be in a relationship with them. Then, after some time went by and I devalued my own point and got touch/attention desperate, I begged back in. This is when they got back their anxious attachment partner, ready to get back to work adoring and completing household tasks. Yes, if they smell you’re getting some power; some backbone to stand up to them a bit, BAM! Time to cut you off and put the fear of losing the relationship back into you! But, to leave them? To be alone and feel abandoned by them? To go through several months feeling the pain of knowing their love was not the same as your innocent, pure love? Who will you spend your day doing things for? Things that will make them happy so you can finally receive that breadcrumb of a smile or thank you? I know it’s F#!king tough. It is. You have a choice to make. Who will you take care of? You? Or…

[@Loriburnett]

Wow exactly!!

[@Loriburnett]

Hell ya . He smelled and saw my power and out of nowhere discarded me in the cruelest way. Textbook…

[@LRaine73]

💯

[@Carllizard]

The one thing I hate is when you corner a narcissist and get to the point why they’re in the wrong and you leave them no more channels to deflect or blame shift because you’re presenting facts, they then play victim as a last resort to wiggle out of any accountability of wrong doing

[@chaseroygbiv]

Or just completely walk out on you and avoid the discuss all together

[@danieraye30]

Yessss!!!

[@libraempress2069]

Narcissists don't love anyone they do not know love, love doesn't hate nor hurt nor envy. They have no love in them if they did they wouldn't hurt you the way they do intentionally. Don't confuse love with evil.

[@bigtone8649]

" Narcissistic love is riding on the rollecoaster of disaster filled with a heart full of tears.” 💯 run away and don't turn back

[@theempireofLuxury]

😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@geew9983]

So true!

[@rachelharvey4503]

The most honest and direct comment I’ve ever heard about being with a narcissist - you have to give them your life.

[@ServTheKing]

You and many others did not deserve what you went through. The best thing now might be to not become like what was the cause of such death. And to overcome evil with good.

[@cheezinhoweree]

Well yeah their demon needs to rid the world of love or it beats them up internally

[@steviefazza8750]

100%

[@jan-keesverschuure2436]

Especially hard for children dealing with a narcissistic parent.

[@Alaska-me5jc]

So scary!

[@annetteramos9871]

They would rather uplift people that really don't care for them and hurt the people who are willing to give them a real relationship.

[@interactive9025]

They love their idea of themselves in our eyes. They love their victory over you. This is what they love - while you feed their broken ego. That's it. If you are smart, creative, and you willingly do what they want you to do, that will make them happy but just for a moment. They will love themselves during that time, not you. Once you are gone, they will be desperate, before they find another victim, whoever, wherever, as soon as possible. You will be stored in their database for another attempt when they need their old toy... sick and toxic people.

[@shalonna1000]

ABSOLUTELY!

[@Calcuttasnippets]

So well articulated "stored in their database for another attempt"

[@magdakonop4566]

So true!!!

[@gemini2loveme]

Spot on.

[@empress9857]

Well guess what .. I’m playing now too ima try my best to be unbothered n not react nor respond to all smear campaigns especially thru social media Ik she gonna get frds n eventually post her new prize on social media to taunt me .. I will not be at her spot nor can she come to mine she can suck me ha car and go back home to her main supply that way at least we both getting what we want because one you become the main suply the glitter n gold will eventually stop and you’ll be there to Lyft them up support them emotionally encourage them and of course help them I mean offer and volunteer after all the stories they tell you they will never feel obligated to assist you but you will it will be a one sided thing of course it will be fun laugh and good moments howeber everhthjng will be so restricted n limit let me get dome and gone on.. yes she has Otr traits she is good at however just I want one thing and that’s it 🤷‍♀️

[@mugpush4816]

A narcissist will only LUST you, ladies. Take it from a former one. You'll be strung along for moths, maybe years...and he'll never make a commitment. While you're left to think about that time and energy you wasted...

[@lonniebennett634]

The final discard the no contact of the narcissist is the greatest gift of love they can gave because they can’t stop hurting you they just set you free.

[@Loriburnett]

Amen!! Just happened to me out of the blue.

[@Nikki-jf2yf]

I really needed to read this comment today. I never looked at it like that. ❤

[@AnthonySanchez-fw4vo]

I also never looked at it like that thank you for this comment. Still trying to heal also still missing my ex. I'm trying to rewire my brain that the person I thought they were was never there.

[@mariannebauman3410]

They love you like an object not a person!!!

[@healthguy79]

Basically they love you for the utility you provide

[@linagapusan5367]

It's like they have hollow hole inside of them which cannot be filled. You'll never be enough to a narcissist.

[@katvond6346]

The narc used to say 'I know you gonna leave me'. They know what they're doing, they know what will happen, and they are prepared. Nxt supply lined up.

[@tiffanyjones4651]

- Sooooo true.

[@Claire-sj9mp]

So true..they know that every relationship with them has an expiry date..who in their right mind will put up with their bs forever. They know exactly what they are doing ..that is why they all have new supply behind your back..

[@rare_breed35]

Mine during every argument, b4 I realized what a narcissist was, would always say “ go ahead and leave like the rest of them did” one of the red flags that I ignored, but then it all made sense why they always said it. They know way b4 we do..

[@Manekiinekochan]

Anyone who truly loves you is invested in your well-being. Everything they do undermines that.

[@mr.amazing.speaks]

So the answer is that they never love you, they love whatever resource they can drain from you. I used to think my ex loved me on some level till she told me in an argument that I am only a resource to her and nothing more. That’s all it took for me to walk away. I still get temp checks from time to time, but she gets nothing from me. The result will always be the same until you decide enough is enough. They never change and they never will. Walk away and never look back, and never get involved with another narc. Period. If it is family or a parental situation you have to learn to deal with it. Thankfully we had no ties or kids.

[@stevenkovler5133]

My wife and I separated. I left because of financial and physical abuse . She says I am the toxic one , especially because I left in the middle of the night . Meanwhile, I an financially destroyed , and have anxiety and depression. She said the shopping sprees was to help her heal. Meanwhile , after I left I maybe gave her $800 for food. Then we broke silence and I let her seduce me. Since we hooked up she has drained me of half my income. for the month, like $5,000. Now when I tell her I am broke again, she says , well then how can we reconcile when you can not afford me. I know she is building a business that may become finically secure , but who knows. Everyone is telling me to go no contact again and cut her off . I am so trauma bonded !

[@mr.amazing.speaks]

@@stevenkovler5133 I had the same detachment issues brother. The key here is that you have to develop the discipline to let go and stay gone. No one can do that for you but you and it was really hard for me in the beginning. Focusing on my life goals and purpose helped me do this but only you will be the determiner of a healthy way like this to move on. You deserve better than her and I believe in you to overcome this brother.

[@assplundah]

@@stevenkovler5133 I really feel for you mate, I’ve been there myself. But you really need to leave & not go back & not give or lend her money. She doesn’t care about your mental health or your financial stability. Leave mate & never go back. And go see a therapist if you can. Take care mate.

[@ReconciledMinistries]

When you said that it costs your LIFE to try to appease them, you spoke rightly, ma’am. Nothing done reaches a pinnacle they are ever satisfied with.

[@fredaankobia4447]

The soulless stealing the soul.

[@nickbrown9163]

Really good insight. Thank you for this video. My ex sent me wedding photos 7 months after we ended. I was heartbroken for 3 weeks over a person that didn't exist. The love I had for her was a fantasy like you said. Thank the Lord I walked away from her when I did because she put me in a depressed state. I am mid 40s and only dated this person for a year. I think the biggest lesson is to be careful who you love. Wishing you well and a happy 2023.

[@jenniferyates8100]

Nick Brown. See how Toxic they are. No normal healthy person would do that to you. I do hope you can move forward, and have. All blessings to you for 2023. Look after yourself. 🕊️🙏

[@nickbrown9163]

@@jenniferyates8100 Thank you Jennifer. You are right that no normal healthy person would do that. My intellect knew and knows that.....my feelings thou didn't care lol. I am in a much better place 5 weeks after this happened. I am going to have a great year and I hope the same for you!

[@jenniferyates8100]

@@nickbrown9163 so pleased for you nick. All blessings to you.🌈👍

[@nickbrown9163]

@@jenniferyates8100 A kind thought and time from a stranger sure made a good day even better! Thanks again

[@el_deplorablede_tejas1394]

A few weeks ago I asked my just recent Ex Gf. WHY you can't you be Normal? She said to me with a smug attitude, Normal is Boring.

[@shelightsup3338]

When loving a narcissist you have to abandon yourself. It’s slowing killing every part of who you are. They take your whole personality and try to become you. You are drained and they become full of life. You do this for 17 years and look back and wonder where that person went. It’s just a shell left over after all the abuse. ✨

[@SophieBird07]

They don’t love…they enjoy. They think they love, but it’s only because you entertain them on some level with material or admiration.

[@kimberlyhall192]

Facts

[@lynpascua7616]

I see..that's why I got dump...

[@MissWampire]

Correct.

[@jessicatobias9371]

​@lynpascua7616 they circle back sometimes depends on the supply. Don't let them it will be worst this time.

[@leighmcwest9770]

The day i stopped conforming and complying with a narcissist, he told me that I wasnt the person he thought I was... Yeah, im no longer a punk 😒

[@desireereyes9043]

Same

[@writer1986]

Amen. I've been married to a man with narcissistic traits for 5 years (it took me 4 years to be able to name his behavior patterns), and I've learned that he hates himself. He would rather have died in utero than to have lived. So how can someone who does not love themselves love you? It's disheartening and sad.

[@esterriesparabe]

Yes spetially because some of them have so many real good qualities and talents...shame to know they can never connect with their partner...it becomes frustrating and tiring. Its like loving for two...I even tried to change and play roles but ended up coming back to be who I am, where I feel safe and comfortable. I can't keep ignoring my nature for no one. I want to be accepted and loved for who I trully am.

[@Rev1960-i2r]

I've met an acquaintence & asked them, 'why do you hate yourself so much?'

[@esterriesparabe]

@@Rev1960-i2r And what was the answer?

[@Rev1960-i2r]

@@esterriesparabe it's best that we don't change to please the Narcissist. We have our own resilience that will get us through. It's best to not let our subconscious take over otherwise the narcissist will feel like they got us.

[@Rev1960-i2r]

@@esterriesparabe no reply.

[@jsims2445]

You are exactly right! They love you as long as you are conforming and meeting their expectations. If you sense this in any relationship get out while you can! If you do not, they will suck you dry emotionally and make you question your own sanity.

[@octavia9464]

Especially the part of question your own sanity!!!

[@MissWampire]

Very sad, but true.

[@michaelgreen6313]

Certain words I learned from a narcissistic person that are not true,"I love you"and I'm sorry,absolutely don't exist with an narcissist

[@lisakirby3629]

Very true they can’t say sorry as they never do anything wrong in their eyes!

[@djbabyv]

Yep I saw he had googled what does sorry mean.

[@lisakirby3629]

@@djbabyv oh my god!! If I said or did anything wrong I had to apologise also would get the silent treatment for at least a week…if he did anything wrong he wouldn’t say sorry because apparently it was my fault for taking something the wrong way!

[@pdoll96]

Some do say it but it has no meaning whatsoever

[@joeshabe]

@@pdoll96 they're sorry they didn't get away with it.

[@anthonyperrow4421]

I called it a Situationship or Manipulationship !! It was always about her & her needs & wants & desires !! 🤷‍♂️

[@jessicatobias9371]

Addictionship!

[@myunpopularopinion4818]

There’s a big difference between love and lust/infatuation. The narcissist cannot love, they do not love themselves or anybody else. They do not even know what love is, and could not love you if they actually tried.

[@reiazabdool2613]

Exactly so

[@MissWampire]

Sad...

[@hangingwiththegrlz4891]

I gave my ex covert narc husband everything and lost myself in the process. The hardest decision of my life was deciding to leave. I needed relief from the pain he kept inflecting. Now 4 years no contact. I learned there are just some evil people in the world that could care less about the feelings of others. Now I know the devil is real. Now I understand why we shouldn't dance with him or prepared to get burned.

[@jasonsmith3594]

The best way I can describe a narcissist image you are there new car they will be excited at first drive you around till they get bored then park you up and move on to the next model then one day they will pass you by and think wow i remember the amazing times I had and try too get back in do this change the locks never let them use you again there problems are not your responsibility make yourself better than the person you were yesterday self love make them suffer move on show them how gorgeous you can be stay strong and never go back to a lit firework you will always get burnt ❤

[@nicselectronics81]

They can't love anyone, only use and abuse.

[@djbabyv]

As soon as you realize what they are. Leave. Change number. Dont go back. Its all a trap

[@shirleymadiva6886]

I took my life BACK!! To hell with that kind of love!!

[@bishnupandey1367]

Same here

[@EllieM_Travels]

I’m the narcissist, or at least I was before I became self aware and took a step back from relationships to work on my fears and insecurities. The one I loved was the one I let go. When I became obsessed and saw him as excellent supply, I couldn’t do that to him, so I voluntarily gave up the opportunity to love bomb him and refused to go after him like that. It felt like I was being torn apart, limb from limb, but I made it through and sought help from a therapist before I entered into another relationship. Malignant narcissists can be monsters who want to hurt people. Then there are the ones who are fearful and insecure because of childhood trauma, not meaning to hurt others, just trying to get their own needs met. They do have the capacity to love and to become self aware. They can heal, but no one can heal them. For me, I just wanted to have a soul, and being that empty is like walking in a living hell. I have hurt people, myself, and I’ve been hurt. It’s not fun being empty! It’s much better having self worth.

[@christiedunlap6214]

Yep gave my whole life to one for 22 years. Poured my heart and soul into our marriage, spent many sleepless nights praying for him. And now 5 years post divorce, I do not know how to live and enjoy life. I am more angry with myself for giving my life to him than angry with him.

[@iambella081]

15 years here and trying to get out myself. I can relate to the anger but I we stay there and don't enjoy the time we have left, then they win.

[@real_hello_kitty]

@christie you need to forgive yourself. Nobody is perfect, nobody can foresee the narcissists when they came. Everyone make mistakes.

[@divyashreekunhiraman2917]

Same same . 😢

[@violettabicycletta331]

You are so clear in your comments and so right ! Falling in love with the devil!!!.

[@mercyz6252]

They can’t love! They calculate to get their way and act accordingly

[@CorrinaMorrow]

The word I use to describe the nature of my narcissistic relationship is, "A CYCLE." Plain and simple.

[@rosepetals011]

They repeat the cycle of abuse over n over again.

[@theclown2393]

Problem with that, a Narcissist is incapable of loving of feeling any remorse or empathy. Now, they may tell you they love you and pretend to hear you out but there actions speak differently as if they're annoyed at the fact your expressing your inner feelings.

[@MissWampire]

It really felt like loving my son, rebel boy, who wanted to rebel even more. So sad. So emotionally draining

[@ELTON_CHONG]

My ex divorced me then sent me a text saying, "I never meant to hurt anyone." Not I never meant to hurt you. This told me she didn't care about me and obviously there were others. EVIL ACTRESS!!!!

[@danieraye30]

Yes!!

[@jarrodbriggs8246]

Yes they get you in a situation that you almost can’t escape and then they open up and you see their true colors. Pure evil. Then they think you’re trapped forever until you leave. When you leave they try everything like making you feel worthless and like you have nothing without them. They throw everything at you and will do and use all the information they know about you against you. My suggestion is leave and block them from everything and hopefully there’s no more strings attached. Run while you can.

[@Yathome00]

There is NO relationship with a narc, that’s a delusion. It’s a thing that breaks down with time, they are unable to reciprocate the love we give them. It’s one sided and it will never last.

[@Snizzle_Fizzle]

Feel like they become obsessed with one person. But that obsession isn't healthy and can switch to someone else in an instant

[@MissWampire]

Crazy but true.

[@sinjinmonsoon9055]

I married a narc. He ruined our wedding day. Started a fight out of nowhere with his grandfather, who was a preacher and performing the ceremony. My honeymoon was non existent. He was mad. He's pulling the same nonsense right now, 38 years later. He's mad about something.

[@danr7896]

Wow, you are not his problem. 38 years, Are you OK? He's mad? Of course he is. I found not caring and saying "What ever", feels so good, and they can't respond to it.

[@shaniecegullison]

Awee.yup mine is too bitching now.

[@shaniecegullison]

They always do lol

[@shaniecegullison]

So soo negative

[@natashawiley]

The narc I knew I told I had a funeral to be to and he has two vehicles so at the last minute he decides to take mein the car which needed oil and other stuff well I didn't make it but I did ask well take me in the truck and he said something slick and egotistical yall they will ruin EVERY OCASSION

[@Balert-z8w]

This world is full of narcs. I’m just Grateful that I can spot them faster now⚡️ However, I believe I’m able to spot them faster because I choose to heal for myself and that Protects my energy.

[@r47282]

very spot on. narcissists don’t even love themselves.

[@e.m.4440]

Narcissist=Cheater

[@elmaswanepoel1598]

It really feels like he loves me. He also says that we have this "incredibly special connection". Of course he must realise that he's going to end up alone and wants to now settle. We had long conversations after I left a second time end of January and he seemed to gain some insight in what he is. After that followed 5 months of up and down, in and out, heaven and hell in rapid progression. I was no longer giving my energy to the relationship emotionally and remained guarded, yet I now feel anxious about cutting off completely. But I know. Just filled with sadness because the more you repeat this endless roller coaster, the more you get entangled. It's hell

[@ToddPerilloux-qg5hp]

Most everyone goes back at least one time

[@stevepelham9010]

I am a man finding my self in that very same situation. My wife gets involved in, creates situations bad ones with other people involved that in the end I am the one to solve as she drops it all on my desk. And I do sort things out but I also demand my chear of glory! More and more that I demand some thankfulyness for my humble sevices and that pisses her off as she tends to forget my part. A neighbor lady gave it straight in her face as my wife was tipping on her toes showing our newly by me upgraded-redone garden, ME ME! The lady said looking at me, -your husband is a very talanted one he gots good taste! My wife went -Ärhhhm coff coff.. went busy and disappered silently from the scene for an moment. Other simular occasions followed and things turned realy sour, an shitload of problems created and stacked up by her was thrown over me and the last card divorce me being a mean stubborn ass and on top unattractive to her, she felt nothing for me! Well that was an shortlived one.. as for know she wants to try but no talk! She refuses an adult talk. I consider my self to bee a winner type. I do want to mess her up leaving. As in opposite of her empty drama I got things set but I do also lover her! A Hell on earth..

[@Evergreen11_11]

Mine told me we had a strong connection, soul mates, twin flames, that he loved me unconditionally and it was pure and he wanted nothing more than to make sure I knew it every day. Said all kinds of absolutely beautiful things, and I felt seem and loved like never before. Then he dropped me out of literal nowhere. They want that bond, and then they find it and can’t accept it.

[@stevepelham9010]

Yeah that is the way they work, both sexes. Big words always, 110% about everything, honest, kind, cearing, full of love.. pure bullshit. People that are do not need to advertise.

[@Carol-mq6fe]

It is confusing…I am where you were when you commented here. I hope you are in a good place. Confusion is hell.

[@cherrylynn7173]

My ex sent me a KZbin after we broke up. The KZbin song was about a man knowing his relationship with a woman wouldn’t last because he’s toxic. That’s when I knew that he can never love me in a healthy way. I tried to stay in his life but his behavior got worse. So bad that I had to choose me or him. I chose me.

[@josephmoore2918]

This is true, only time she shows any resemblance of love is when she is getting what she wants.

[@carlydaniels4184]

The word love should not be part of the narcissist's vocabulary. I doubt if a person who is so calculative and manipulative can produce the thought or the feeling unless it's an act to deceive through a false impression.

[@melissa3986]

I think the person they love the most are the people they devalue and leave the quickest(less than a year) They stay in longer relationships with people they know they won’t really fall in love with.

[@shelleyCollins-o6y]

he loves you when your giving and giving to them when your burnt out you are now sick and no energy

[@jessewallace5240]

Been married to someone like this for several decades. You're articulation of this disorder is quite accurate, thorough, and should be greatly appreciated by all.

[@Tigerdreama.]

Lmfao

[@nicoladouglas3270]

?​@@Tigerdreama.

[@ladycancer9330]

Was with a narcissist for 6 years. When I started taking care of me and doing for myself, he left me and started criticizing me. You are so spot on this this type of person.

[@Tigerdreama.]

Bra they do that ish , they narc u hard when u move alone without them

[@shinebright9490]

That was the hardest part. Trying to get the relationship back to the way it was in the beginning. I would say this to him. Yet, he couldn't do it consistently. It was so mind boggling to me at that time. Fast forward 7 years, I was tired, hurt, and exhausted from constantly trying. When I would bring anything up that wasn't quite normal, it was always my fault! Even though I was drained, I know i was different to and with him. I had zero energy to make him feel better or to fix things - I was speaking up, using my voice, and setting boundaries. He didn't like it one bit. When he did the raging discard shortly after, he had erased and replaced me before the discard even happened. That isn't LOVE! Yet he continued to blame me, call me vile names, scream, rage, and I was told I was the toxic one - and I ruined everything we had ?! It left me feeling like I just "wasnt enough!" all the time. That is not LOVE! It doesn't end there either. Then came the destroying of my reputation to everyone. The lies that we're told we're so horrific - I was mortified! I wasn't just broken now, I was then shattered. It was pure evil. And, all of this is certainly NOT love. You are left in ruins, and they just carry on. Today, im a work in progress. Im stronger, wiser, free, and can see right through what transpired in the 7 years I was with him. Again, NOT one bit of it was LOVE! Stay NC for YOU! Stay silent! LOVE yourself back to life again! My heart goes out to each of you. ♥️ Also, thank you Anoushka from the bottom of my heart. You taught me so much this past 2 years, and by doing so, you helped save me through so much. Your videos and knowledge have been a blessing. Forever grateful! 🙏💕

[@empress9857]

Ik the feeling we will get thru this just can’t be fools and go back to tnem

[@esterriesparabe]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience. Thanks for being an inspiration

[@shelightsup3338]

Oh my gosh. It’s like you put into words what I’m going through.

[@Indite_Biden]

@@shelightsup3338me too😢

[@sigvicious5599]

OMG, you NAILED my last "relationship". I mean absolutely nailed it. You hit every point, every element. I saw definite signs in the very beginning. But like you said, they put you on a pedestal. She love bombed me throughout the honeymoon phase. And would again when she felt me slipping away (getting fed up). I ended the relationship 4 times over the 10 months we dated. I finally ended it for good the 5th time. I knew better throughout, but, she'd keep coming back and love bombing me. However, in my heart I knew the expiration date was approaching. I also know that in reality, she wouldn't be genuinely hurt when it ended. The really sad thing is, narcissists are everywhere. Social media has fueled to exponential levels. And they don't see it. Thanks for this very informative and eye-opening video.

[@VIIARK]

Exactly man!!! This social media has influenced them drastically by living in delusional reality.

[@mrgordy1980]

This is exactly correct. The moment you have an issue, you better just keep quiet and say nothing. You’ll be shut down, switched off, talked over, tractor’d over, interrupted and screamed at. Connection? Dream on. Understanding where you come from? You wish. Resolution? Fat chance. No matter which way you explain, how detailed your articulation.. if you had of worded it a million different ways, it still would have been reformulated and handed back to you as garbage. And in the end, it’s all your fault it didn’t work out. You become this repulsive thing that has so many issues, you’re too problematic and not worth fighting for. Because it never was anything even 1% what you thought it was.

[@lisacontino4965]

In the first 6 months I realized he had no empathy but didnt understand why. Year two i remember saying to him you only love what i do for you and with you. After a silent treatment phase we were together and he was being attentive and asked why? He answered " i can see you are trying harder" They are truly never satisfied. You become a hamster on a wheel giving your life up vasilating between silent treatments,breadcrumbing and gaslighting. Never new what a narcissist was till now.

[@mpacino1224]

Ugh "The Version of the Narcissist". It's just so true.

[@BigMamasHouseofBeauty]

Too love,you have to 1st know The Most High please understand you can not eat from both tables you have to hate the one and love the other

[@alfredodoardi2717]

after 30 years married to one, I would assure your audience that, you nailed it!

[@arturobugaoan5615]

I absolutely fell in love with who she presented herself as. When she changed, I felt so confused. 3 years later she would say that I wasn’t the same person as I was when we first met. Well neither was she. In a normal relationship, it is natural and normal to eventually come out of the honeymoon phase. This was the phase she was referring to. She couldn’t understand that life always changes when you move in, and life gets in the way. She wanted the honeymoon period constantly, which is unrealistic. And she couldn’t understand this when I spoke to her. And she couldn’t understand that I changed due to her devaluing me, hoovering me, bread-crumbing me. She emotionally wrecked me.

[@Gracefull777]

Listening to this makes me want to cry . This is the most accurate description of my narcissistic husband.

[@brianj5]

Same here, only i did shed a couple tears

[@Loriburnett]

Me too. Then it turned into tears of happiness. It goes back-and-forth. I don’t cry because I miss him. I cry because of the pain he put me through and I was stuck and I had to deal with it absolute hell.

[@kalifornia4745]

This video was pivotal for me, and I have seen 10.000 videos about this, but for some reason, this really hit home for me. Because I felt like she loved me, but this video accurately described exactly what it was. I ended up being her mom and I stepped into that role willingly and with a great dedication to loving her like she was never loved as a child. That was my codependency. Thank you!

[@samtucker6154]

Yes yes yes

[@Billybunts]

10k videos!!! 😢

[@MissWampire]

Exactly. It's like loving a child. Rebel child.

[@MissWampire]

Exactly. It's like loving a child. Rebel child.

[@MissWampire]

Exactly. It's like loving a child. Rebel child.

[@LasheaEvans-zq5qm]

It's a MISERABLE numb feeling that I refuse to suffer another second. He can make someone else miserable because I'm done.

[@ericmcdonald7313]

Their version of love is what it gets them. I always wondered why things were never enough. Constant need for attention-gifts-trips-things to make them feel that they have a substantive life. So hard to understand when they first get you.

[@josemorin1838]

Yes I just left my narcissistic girlfriend after 6 years.. I felt like a prisoner it's hard to leave a person like this because they know how to control and manipulate your mind it's an ugly feeling.always jealous ..always insecure always accusing and yet they're the ones cheating ..yes run and dont turn back !!!!

[@Loriburnett]

Yep. Always and they are the ones cheating.

[@bobbyz3714]

Well said! You just described the last 6-1/2 years of my life with a narcissist.

[@subzero1693]

Thank you for this video. I'm going through a break up with a narcissist. I fell for all this blind because I loved her. I needed this reality check thanks again

[@lisabrown9286]

Yes!!! It’s never enough, and it’s EXPECTED but never appreciated.

[@James-bc2oh]

My covert narcissist ex would always say you no I love you that would be after giving me a hard time of it,she would then try and love bomb me,it got to the stage were I would say I can't be bothered, that's because I wasn't in the mood for the way she was treating me,this went on for years same routine time and time again, that's probably one of the reasons she disgarded me the way she did,I was finally finding out what she really was,another great video anoushka 🌹

[@peterknyk1942]

Thank you so very much, Anoushka, for explaining this so well! I've lived with the enigma and an inability to understand how a narcissist can tell you "I love you" and commit adultery at the same time... I've been perplexed as to how a narcissist is able, with unbridled equivocation, steal emotional energy, money, your time, your goodwill, your eagerness to make things work right, or steal just about anything that they construe as theirs...while selfishly getting supply for themselves, and feel soooo entitled to engage in, with righteousness and entitlement, selfishly, this kind of behavior.... After listening to you today, those questions that have lingered with me for far too long, are no longer enigmatic, as you answered them brilliantly in this video. My friend, who is a spiritual psychic, told me long ago, "it's never enough for her"... Today, you're amazing ability to put together a video like this, made that clear or should I say more clear as well! Thank you so very much for all the help that you give to so many of us on this earth and for me, personally. I wish for you a wonderful New Year! 🎉 and I send my love to you and gratitude for everything that you do. Thank you, Anoushka! 💞🕊💞

[@matthewgeard2790]

When a narc says I love you……. Translation………. I like that you let me treat you badly,, I like you making excuses for me,, I like your money and time,, I like ur empathy because I don’t have any at all,, that’s what I love you means from a narc💯

[@tiffanyjones4651]

- So true.

[@shelightsup3338]

Your comment is exactly my mind.

[@louiseelliott6404]

Brilliantly explained Anoushka. We all want to get back to the lovebomb but it’s not possible. That was just to reel you in and hook you into the relationship. Once the cognitive dissonance fades you see it for how it is. I walked away a year ago and I’ve had a weekend of hoover attempts. I’ve grown and done a whole load of healing. I can’t go back there. He put me through hell and I fell in love with a lie. I’m no longer his puppet and I don’t intend to be again. They love what you supply them with - that’s it.

[@BedfordFalls7]

I met mine back in 2000. He came off so nice. Then he love bombed me with cards, flower deliveries, balloon deliveries and on. He acted like he was caring and kind. He had a 7 year old son. I had a twenty year old daughter. In six months he was asking me to marry him. He wasn't the usual passionate type I dated, but I thought he was a solid good guy, so I married him. Within no time he was yelling at me. I suppose to keep me away from him. He didn't want anything to do with the bedroom. So he screamed and yelled, lied, bread crumbed me for years. I kept trying to figure him out. My parents both died during this time. It was time filled with sadness and depression (which before him I was never depressed). Just about a year ago I found things on Narcissists. And I woke up. This is him !! I finally found my answer. I plan to divorce this year. Saddest part is that I wasted twenty + years of my life with him.

[@bayoncacollins2050]

It's going to be okay.

[@deanshort9011]

I was in a relationship (living together then married) for 35 yrs with a narc. I had left the relationship, some time earlier, had moved on emotionally long before the legal separation and divorce. Best thing I've ever done. Within a month I felt more like my old self again! I know it feels like you wasted time. I prefer to think of it as when you're ready, you're ready, and then you leave them behind. You do you and forget them.

[@orahcgrant]

I love you - we need you - the narc is a fake monster it costs you your life THANK YOU! Tell everybody the truth.... Big love from Norway!

[@thetraumainformedpt]

You explain it so well Anoushka! Thank god for my trauma-informed background. I slowly started to gain my autonomy back that he seemed to cultivate at the beginning, but I also conformed a lot at the beginning. Last year I stopped confirming completely and all went downhill from there. I made him move out 6 months ago. Best decision of my life ♥️ Thank you for the great videos you’re making 🙏

[@henrydame8619]

We love You because You care

[@angelahart1479]

This is exactly what happened to me. So clear and concise. I think she loved me but not a normal love. Thanks again Anoushka.

[@dianecarroll6384]

Actually, according to the Bible and it's definition of "love" , ( and who better understands what that is but God? After all, He IS love!) It says, love is" NOT boastful, it holds NO account of wrong-doing, it is slow to anger, it is NOT selfish, love is patient, love is kind", etc. those things alone, tell me whatever you have with a narcissist, isn't "love" at all! Because those things are the EXACT opposite of the TRUE definition of the word. And it certainly isn't healthy. At any rate, glad you are out and can begin to heal. ( Just don't go back!) Take care

[@mummyd1990]

Narcissists are totally incapable of love or any sort of emotions because they have none at all,no feelings what so ever,it is all pretence,and move away very quickly from a narccsist no never look or go back to them ever again,stay safe and well everyone and thank you for this vlog.

[@AlireaHomayerazavi-bw9cz]

Thats why they like money...more than love...!!!👍👌or how they look.

[@helenmathisen3499]

He Loves me in a Very Unique way, the way ❤He❤ is able to! ❤❤ And I KNOW and I AM AWARE and I AM LEARNING!

[@fabioquadreli9047]

Your explanations and all the points you mentioned, they are incredibly clear . Outstanding content.

[@AndrewCharles-u2t]

I thank you for your video. It's real. I have experienced what your video taught. I just broke away yesterday and I am now alone. I will never ever see her again.

[@poet4727]

Yesterday was the best day. Dont look back! ❤ youself

[@sjnardozzijr.7850]

the truth hurts…a bitter pill to swallow…looking over my shoulder to the past I now see what was going on…so perceptive of you…thank you

[@JustinLee-p3u]

very deep. 100 percent true. the saddest sadness i carry in my life

[@prettyboymcfly]

I miss her sooo much and I know she did me wrong ... I wanna go back to her so bad but I know it's gonna be more Heartbreak...

[@nickbrown9163]

The person you miss isn't real. It's a fantasy you created in your mind. I just went thru the same thing. You deserve more than heartbreak. Hang in there Jay. Your heart will heal.

[@jenniferyates8100]

JayRican. Don't go back. It was all a illusion. They will love bomb, devalue, discard, this is the pattern, they repeat. Stay strong. All blessings to you. Wishing you peace 🕊️🙏

[@missta1820]

No contact is the best way. Time can heal. You will love again.

[@prettyboymcfly]

@@missta1820 I have been NO CONTACT 2 months but I work with her new supply in which she cheated on me with and she also works in the same mall as me so I see her alot ... I think they are arguing because she recently started started going on break and he doesn't come out anymore ... they always break together but after Christmas I always see her by herself and sitting close to where I sit when I break ... I feel like she's trying to get my attention

[@rare_breed35]

@@prettyboymcfly Of course they were arguing, because the cycle continues.. wish you the best🤍

[@Rick-hf6ov]

The BEST take-away is to know they are doomed to repeat the same exact behavior over and over and over and over and....... ......right now, two years since she discarded me, the new guy is starting to pull HIS hair out trying to figure out what is going on! ......and soon, she will dump him and move on to the next victim. WE heal..... THEY just get old and even more unfulfilled and miserable. 😂😁🤙 .....cheers, survivors!!

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Absolutely ❤🎉

[@TheClutchmaster16]

Say a prayer for them. They’re sick, and can’t help it. They need therapy, but I don’t want them to hurt either.

[@sandracaezza7234]

It was 24 yr of my life. The narc/addict repeated patterns over & over Never enough. I’m away from him 72 days. My relief is everyday. Was not wasted time was educational growth. Yesterday he took total responsibility for his disrespect I did not respond. This is more of the same. This last pattern was so much pain because I realized I WOULD BE INDIVIDUATING FROM THIS ILLNESS.

[@Nikki-jf2yf]

"Their love is engulfing, and it's also nothingness". That really hit hard

[@Tigerdreama.]

It sucks u in , and then drys u like a raisin . Running round like a basket case full of paranoia .

[@MissWampire]

Yes...

[@jsamanthawise1379]

My ex was totally different. He helped with the bills the love bombing stage was wonderful. We were married for 19 months. He left seven times to go back to another state to be with his family when he finally left in August I filed for divorce I haven’t heard from him for seven months, I don’t think he will ever come back because he cannot live without his family. Just wondering what your thoughts are he took all of our wedding pictures so I heard you talking about trophies, so I guess that were his trophies to take but why why would he take our wedding pictures? He walked out with no note no goodbye he left me while I was not at home when I came home he was totally gone. Thank you for your channel.