Author Jerry Bloom visits Today Now to explain how you can make your kitchen floor shine without falling and paralyzing yourself for life.
Пікірлер: 1 700
@Chris-jw8vm3 жыл бұрын
The man not only let the accident define him. He made a living off it. An inspiration to us all.
@ThatPianoNoob Жыл бұрын
wait.. do you think this man had an accident? I thought something was off. Like the way he is waxing the floor Id say he has at most 95% of the normal range of motion!
@damienwilloughby Жыл бұрын
🤣
@Acidlib Жыл бұрын
@@ThatPianoNoob and having to sit down in the middle of mopping??? I think _someone_ could use some more cardio! Ahuhuhuh 🧔♂️😅🥔
@midshipman8654 Жыл бұрын
agreed. more people should let accidents define them I think.
@Derek_Wyld Жыл бұрын
It's all he has lmao
@xagon20125 жыл бұрын
"Which one of these 8 children who need a heart transplant is actually gonna get one." lmao. Their smiles and delivery. So good.
@ryanexx52504 жыл бұрын
Sad but hilarious
@someolddude70764 жыл бұрын
Kids these days, waiting for someone else to give them a heart. Why don’t they get a job or grow their own.
@sochiolympics84274 жыл бұрын
They should make that into a tv show. It’s like a game show but instead of playing for money, they play for their lives.
@BrocoliMan20024 жыл бұрын
@@sochiolympics8427 funny
@mombosibes1074 жыл бұрын
@@someolddude7076 It's not like you need a heart all the time. With some organization, one heart can easily be shared by 8 little children or two fat guys.
@mombosibes1074 жыл бұрын
Poor kids, they need a transplant at such young age. I pray to God that a good samaritan donate 200 hearts.
@chickenman82724 жыл бұрын
🤭 I don’t
@anonb46324 жыл бұрын
Doesn't an earthworm have multiple hearts? Maybe one of them could donate a few.
@shadezgaming62094 жыл бұрын
He’s referencing another Onion video where someone donated Like hundreds of organs to the hospital
@shmelvin46594 жыл бұрын
Nice to see that someone appreciates my work. It’s very sad because my nearest hospital doesn’t accept my offerings so I perform the surgery to people on the streets. Now that I think about it they don’t thank me either!
@libertyprime6193 жыл бұрын
@@shadezgaming6209 kidneys
@TheFGrox4 жыл бұрын
Jerry's explanations of his tips were oddly specific. I'm starting to suspect that he witnessed a relative being injured while waxing the floor.
@damoji53324 жыл бұрын
Are you sure? He might just have a wild imagination
@imark25694 жыл бұрын
Nice of you not to jump to conclusions. Good to see someone listened to Jerry’s first tip
@Meta-Drew4 жыл бұрын
@@ddd-op5wy I agree. Maybe casual viewers missed it but those of us with keen skills of observation realized that he was in a wheelchair. It was subtle, to be fair
@emitain84084 жыл бұрын
I think Jerry was the one who fell but sure.
@emitain84084 жыл бұрын
@bual What? I simply meant that Jerry was likely the one who got the injury.
@morbiusprime20434 жыл бұрын
The lifeless fake jolly responses from the anchors to this man's misery are so brilliant
@humantacos9800 Жыл бұрын
GMA in a nutshell.
@Ron.S. Жыл бұрын
Can’t make up my mind which kid deserves the heart most 🤔
@jeffheyer7783 Жыл бұрын
I think that’s the whole point lol.. reminds me up the anchors on “Don’t look up.”
@1marcelfilms Жыл бұрын
Its the way he repeats things but louder
@christopherwonch17269 ай бұрын
fake?
@nahfam97163 жыл бұрын
Can we just take a moment to appreciate both of the hosts acting abilities? They perfectly nail the fake-happy phonyness of daytime talk show hosts.
@celebrityrog Жыл бұрын
This isn't acting and it isn't phony. It's real and happened on Today Now
@danielvandam Жыл бұрын
This guy is acting perfectly like kent brockman lmao
@slovnicurling9808 Жыл бұрын
No.
@KiloWattPlays Жыл бұрын
I guess the news casters of ''don't look up'' were inspired by this
@forestcityfishing4749 Жыл бұрын
Its not acting...these are genuine fakes.
@Japanesable15 жыл бұрын
"DO hold your wife in your arms everyday while you can!" Love this
@MCVessels3 жыл бұрын
@@generalguy6211 One out of two ain't bad.
@titaniumdiveknife2 жыл бұрын
Dear God....
@TommyAngelo1337 Жыл бұрын
And there are 12 pages of that.
@Derek_Wyld Жыл бұрын
@@TommyAngelo1337 lmfao I didn't notice that
@adrenalineactivate Жыл бұрын
DON'T ask your husband to wax the floor Should be in the tip too 😂
@Scrubwave6 жыл бұрын
Kinda feels like he's talking from experience.
@milboxr97726 жыл бұрын
Scrub Wave eh possibly but I doubt it...
@Marquis-Sade5 жыл бұрын
Its called "Being an actor".
@NachiLeFay5 жыл бұрын
Marquis obviously you fucktard. Learn some sarcasm
@joeyrasmussen83945 жыл бұрын
I think he was just tired and needed to sit down for minute
@wallj87205 жыл бұрын
@@Marquis-Sade r/whooosh
@missc27429 жыл бұрын
Thank Goodness for the onion news!! You don't know how many times I've slipped while waxing a hardwood floor an ended up severing my pesky fifth thoracic vertebra! Keep up the good work, great tips!
@fieldy4095 жыл бұрын
Im guessing once?
@onemanarmyoma01554 жыл бұрын
@@bobbrown3469 And: no jumping!
@MCNarret4 жыл бұрын
Just get two spines lmao
@ChildOfGo_D4 жыл бұрын
fieldy409 you don’t have multiple spines? Weirdo.
@Im.Smaher4 жыл бұрын
How many times did it lead to a nasty divorce?
@Buphido2 жыл бұрын
I love how detailed his safety instructions were. It clearly shows that he's played through this scenario in his head over and over again, laying awake at night for hours just thinking about the countless ways how suffering a fate some would claim to be worse than death from something as trivial as waxing a kitchen floor could possibly be avoided. It's almost like he's got personal and deeply scarring and traumatising experience or something.
@Killerbee_McTitties Жыл бұрын
I think you're overthinking it, he propably just read about it while on the shitter
@Fugue60213 жыл бұрын
"So, really, it is her fault that you're now trapped in a prison-like body." LMAO
@The_Totes_Adorbs3 жыл бұрын
You didn't write this comment.
@rfox21633 жыл бұрын
lmao
@The_Totes_Adorbs3 жыл бұрын
@@fuckjoebiden You also dropped out of school, I assume in the 6th grade?
@miguelsalazar10593 жыл бұрын
@@fuckjoebiden ooga booga politics ooga
@kermitenthusiast4853 жыл бұрын
@@The_Totes_Adorbs who tf asked
@BinkieMcFartnuggets15 жыл бұрын
It's good to see someone trying to help other people from making the same mistakes. A lot of people would encourage people to wax floors so they don't have to be alone. Jerry is a true hero.
@onemanarmyoma01554 жыл бұрын
@@bobbrown3469 Or jumping.
@FixedFace4 жыл бұрын
BinkieMcFartnuggets always delighted to see a comment of one of the old masters of yt
@wizzlet68214 жыл бұрын
@@FixedFace I dont see him a lot nowadays
@l.pietrobon39252 жыл бұрын
Why does this comment have a scrolling bar
@wompstopm123 Жыл бұрын
this guys channel right here is a gold mine, he hasnt uploaded in 7 years though, must have had some kind of floor waxing accident
@Inediblehulk14 жыл бұрын
"Fake" or not, the part about NEVER trying to jump the waxed part is solid advice! Especially if you're judging distance merely by where the glare ends. You may not sever your spine, but you'll almost certainly damage your ass.
@coojordan11 жыл бұрын
They nailed the passive-agressive feel perfectly!
@stevester91483 жыл бұрын
Awwwww, knowing that one of these kids will be saved absolutely melted my heart :) I mean sure, seven of them will die, but still it's really touching.
@chris10thetilted773 жыл бұрын
Awful how are you going to so casually speak about your 'heart melting' you take for granted what 7 children don't have. How heartless.
@thegk-verse42162 жыл бұрын
7 kids need a hearth and you plan on melting yours ? You don't deserve it, locking your doors won't stop me from saving one of those kids
@Brib88882 жыл бұрын
@@chris10thetilted77 That pun better have been intentional
@Hoplasa Жыл бұрын
@@Brib8888 i choose to believe that it was intentional xD allthough he did nail those retard comments you see all youtube
@odairbonfim9 ай бұрын
At least they can help other children with lungs, kidneys, livers, and other organs they won't be using.
@KilgoreTraut15 жыл бұрын
Man, The Onion is so good at being simultaneously hilarious and depressing.
@agresivemartinformerlyagre18503 жыл бұрын
You know, I’m somewhat of a cool withdrawer myself.
@KilgoreTraut3 жыл бұрын
@@agresivemartinformerlyagre1850 not all can handle the rigors of the cool withdrawing lifestyle, but it's well worth the effort
@dickcastle6 жыл бұрын
This prob would be funnier if i didnt have s spinal cord injury at my 4th thoracic vertabrae
@tommyfleur76496 жыл бұрын
Hilarious
@elviramadigan52966 жыл бұрын
hahah
@trebah6625 жыл бұрын
Fail
@libbybollinger59015 жыл бұрын
dick castle уф
@dyslexiusmaximus5 жыл бұрын
Imao but also stay strong and love what you have.
@twold4this15 жыл бұрын
'No, this is all that I have!' A brilliant finale to one of the best Today Now segments ever.
@karlyohare71389 жыл бұрын
These are so terrible yet funny in a dark way.
@globalincident6945 жыл бұрын
She just discovered the concept of satire, don't mock her
@StavroginNikolai5 жыл бұрын
Do you spit or swallow?
@basedaudio15 жыл бұрын
@Bambel someone's jealous of all those likes.
@onemanarmyoma01554 жыл бұрын
@Bambel Same goes for your shitty reply on her meaningless comment.
@PirateStory4 жыл бұрын
That must be why they call it “dark comedy” 😂
@nathanklinko469110 жыл бұрын
THIS IS ALL I HAVE XD
@brysonkuhn32903 жыл бұрын
Wow 1k likes and no comments! Guess I'm the first
@nathanhernandez71733 жыл бұрын
@@brysonkuhn3290 beat me to it
@based32113 жыл бұрын
J
@knoven-3 жыл бұрын
@@nathanhernandez7173 beatmeattoit
@Mauhadeeb2815 жыл бұрын
I've been a quadriplegic since 85. This sketch was brilliant! I laughed my ass off! I would appreciate it if people without disabilities would shut their mouth and stop whining for/about folks like me. I may have lost the ability to walk but my sense of humor wasn't damaged. This skit is funny as hell!!! Please stop with the pity remarks. All it does is further disable 'our' disabilities... BTW... "Try and avoid severing your fifth thoracic vertebrae..." funnier than shit!!!
@yungtooli4 жыл бұрын
are you still a quadriplegic?
@naruii51604 жыл бұрын
Brocard Evangeline he wasnt 85 years old dude
@yungtooli4 жыл бұрын
Brocard Evangeline he said since 1985 not since age 85. he can be in his 30s still
@DueySR4 жыл бұрын
@Brocard Evangeline He could've fallen out of a tree when he was 5 years old in 1985. Making him 40 years old today.
@yungtooli4 жыл бұрын
Brocard Evangeline not really “since 85” indicates the year otherwise he wouldve said “since i was 85”
@washworld83584 жыл бұрын
I have so much respect for the two news casters, every episode they’re spot on with their acting.
@cjheaford Жыл бұрын
Fun Fact: Tracy Toth, the actress that plays Tracy Gill in this video is a multi-engine rated pilot that flys commercial Lear jets for a living. All while being an actress too.
@doesntMetter14 жыл бұрын
Don't you hate when you finnish mopping the floor and turn around just to find you left tire marks
@adam_g.2 жыл бұрын
"so really it is her fault that you're now trapped in a prison like body--Well Jerry, it's so great that you do this!--this can only lead to years of resentment which will ultimately lead to an ugly divorce and some of the loneliest darkest years of your life" "Well Alright!" "Great!"
@retrospectology3 ай бұрын
The two actors who play the hosts are always so pitch perfect, the way they just breeze by any and all uncomfortable topics or things that happen on the show. Amazing.
@gutar56754 жыл бұрын
I can't believe I just realized how stupid of a name "Today Now" is. It's cause my mind has been desensitized with the thousands of stupid shows, like if I saw a new program called 'The Yesterday Today Show' or 'The Today Tomorrow Show' I wouldn't even think about it.
@chickenman82724 жыл бұрын
Senor Studly I know one called morning AM, like bruh
@delta0x4 жыл бұрын
literally Last Week Tonight
@thereisnosanctuary61843 жыл бұрын
GMA Today
@silvasilvasilva3 жыл бұрын
@@delta0x I take that to mean "tonight, let's review what happened last week "
@delta0x3 жыл бұрын
@@silvasilvasilva yep that's it that's the show
@ColeJJJTurner Жыл бұрын
Thought it would end with him falling and also breaking his spine after trying to take the mop
@CountArtha6 жыл бұрын
No offense, but I'd sooner take advice on how to wax my floor from someone who did it right.
@xgullafter95906 жыл бұрын
CountArtha oh wow you're right!!! Why is he giving advice when he didn't do it right??1?1?1?
@CogniVision6 жыл бұрын
The best advice is from people who experienced the worst of practice. How often do we ever listen to the 'right way' of doing things until we've experienced why we should do it the 'right way', after already severing our fifth thoracic vertebra? It's best to listen to the guy who can show you exactly why you don't want to fuck up!
@martinlarsson89475 жыл бұрын
Nah dude. The guy who did it auccessfully hasnt analyzed the pit falls.
@Toochilledtocare-_-5 жыл бұрын
@@monswamp258 he knows its satire. don't be so quick to be a condescending ass
@joeyrasmussen83945 жыл бұрын
What? I think he did a great job. His condition is probably from some other accident or congenital disease. He was probably just trying to protect your peaky 5th thoracic vertebrae
@GRBtutorials4 жыл бұрын
This... is actually good advice.
@MrHatoi3 жыл бұрын
God the hosts of this show are absolutely perfect
@MegaCritic238 жыл бұрын
I must say. Tracy gill is very beautiful.
@flybeep16615 жыл бұрын
Her real name is also Tracy, except it's Tracy Toth.
@ItumelengS5 жыл бұрын
I'd clean her waxed kitchen no doubt
@onemanarmyoma01554 жыл бұрын
@@ItumelengS And paint the walls as well!
@DanmakuNyanNyan4 жыл бұрын
@@Greendragon420able You mean fill up the trunk?
@Greendragon420able4 жыл бұрын
DanmakuNyanNyan yes
@tomaspabon2484 Жыл бұрын
How is no one talking about how great a line "miss the floor by several feet?" Is
@musicaccount3340 Жыл бұрын
Lol, good catch. But I am confused by what "missing the floor" means. I thought he jumped, slipped on a puddle of wax, and fell backward.
@OrangeXenon544 жыл бұрын
I LOVE how dark and well written this all is. Every time I watch this, my back starts hurting.
@CrazyBrick303 жыл бұрын
Got diggity DAYUM this episode was dark. A resentful paralyzed man, 7 dead children, and tips on turning a shelter into a sex dungeon. I miss these videos.
@dontspikemydrink93823 жыл бұрын
7? why would they be dead
@CrazyBrick303 жыл бұрын
@@dontspikemydrink9382 I see your critical thinking skills are lacking, so allow me to enlighten you: When someone needs a heart transplant, they mean a physical, literal heart that pumps blood throughout your body. Therefore without getting a needed transplant, you will surely die. Make sense yet? If not, I don't care. Read a book.
@dontspikemydrink93823 жыл бұрын
@@CrazyBrick30 but how long will they live, dkck
@killeralltires2 жыл бұрын
@@CrazyBrick30 even if they do get the transplant 7 people have to die
@CrazyBrick302 жыл бұрын
@@killeralltires You're reading a little too much into a KZbin comment. I was just pointing out how dark the content of the satirical skit was.
@NotMuchThanks Жыл бұрын
This is exactly how dark I like my morning humor.
@liamsmith51884 жыл бұрын
I wonder how he got disabled
@Ometecuhtli4 жыл бұрын
Probably by unloading the dishwasher
@petergray27123 жыл бұрын
Diving into his swimming pool after forgetting to fill it with water.
@DM-of5sl3 жыл бұрын
A Black Friday accident involving a really really nice pair of pants
@salmonfish10314 жыл бұрын
NO THIS IS ALL THAT I HAVE GET AWAY Jerry bLOOM
@salmonfish10314 жыл бұрын
what the fuck did I type
@sinsoftheswamp83464 жыл бұрын
@@salmonfish1031 NO THIS IS ALL I HAVE GET AWAY Jerry bLOOM
@S_Ribeiro5 жыл бұрын
"You stay right where you are."
@EllieCollie2 жыл бұрын
Honestly this is a great video about how society views disabled people. They aren’t respecting him because he is disabled, they’re respecting him because he hates the fact he is disabled.
@heikkipalola6760 Жыл бұрын
??? Of course people dont like being disabled? Its objectively a bad thing. Their respect for him has nothing to do with his disability and everything to do with his solid advice.
@SMGJohn4 жыл бұрын
Turns out none of the kids got the heart, it was defective, they ordered it from Malay but the factory making them were making the adult variant so it would not fit, but worry not! Their bodies are now firmly in the factory making hearts for millions of kids!
@abdulazis4003 жыл бұрын
What a heartwarming story, those kids become saviour for others kid who truly need a hearth. They are heroes
@Mentaltoe10 жыл бұрын
Hahaha!! Such twisted satire on real life sad situations.. "I hope your getting all these good tips we're getting!" Lol
@anna-ti2bo4 жыл бұрын
DON’T take for granted your ability to walk unassisted while waxing! (pg. 74-79)
@stinkyham90503 жыл бұрын
I followed all the instructions but got some wax in my eyes. Now I'm blind, where was the instructions to wear safety glasses? Thanks so much Onion news for your half ass attempt at informing the public on how to do this extremely dangerous task. Onion has blood on its hands!
@hunterwilk Жыл бұрын
Oh big man over here, walkin' around and shit. Sprayin' shit in his eyes over here. Literally still shittin' without a bag. Congrats big man. You like pissin' on the slightly more disabled? Doesn't need a shit bag cause he's still walkin' around and shit, bumpin' into shit. ohfuckhecan'treadthis.
@supamanlova92502 жыл бұрын
This is peak comedy, they don't make it like this anymore!! 10/10
@supamanlova92502 жыл бұрын
All the actors killed it too some funny shit
@shaneh9591 Жыл бұрын
I seriously come back to this video every few years and die of laughter every time he says "Could you hand me that rag please" and just throws it on the floor lmfao
@madscientistshusta5 жыл бұрын
I would pay 20$ a month for old onion☹
@jonathantheslow3 жыл бұрын
They had to change their content to keep up with society’s changes on this type of humor.
@Slade3663 жыл бұрын
@@jonathantheslow They were sold and changed ownership sometime in 2016. For a few years the new team tried to just be political but at least that aspect of the Onion has seemed to die down. Either way the glory days of the onion and the team that was behind it are loooong gone
@ilikenicethingsАй бұрын
There must be someone out there that is attempting something similar on youtube? Not that I've found it yet but given the demand for it why would there be no supply?
@CookIng-bs9nm3 жыл бұрын
This is the most trusted news channel
@shy_sorai_vlogs3 жыл бұрын
Why is no one talking about how he asked to be handed the rag just to immediately throw it on the floor 😂😂
@dominicmanriquez16453 жыл бұрын
dude that shit took me out. i was looking for someone to comment this!
@rum-ham2 жыл бұрын
He has to throw it on the floor himself, it's all he has!
@JosiahSCooper Жыл бұрын
"this is all I have" lol
@TigerRose0074 жыл бұрын
Very well made instructions it's almost like he wrote it from experience amazing! My friend unfortunately did not follow the instructions given
@ASweetShortCake Жыл бұрын
“You know I just love cleaning my kitchen!” Awesome first line 😂
@fireboltaz4 жыл бұрын
Onion should do a “where are they now” segment on these two hosts
@smaller_cathedrals4 жыл бұрын
Well, we all know what happened to Pig Haggerty.
@vertergaminghd3994 жыл бұрын
@@smaller_cathedrals I don't, what happened tk him? Looked him up didn't find much
@ovzzzz4 жыл бұрын
@@vertergaminghd399 Look up Porkin' Across America.
@FffffffffffffffffffffffffffffL4 жыл бұрын
Apparently Tracy went back to her old job as a pilot!
@MastaSmack4 жыл бұрын
They're right there, trapped in a KZbin video.
@AP-ep3xh4 жыл бұрын
what is this gold mine of a channel that I have stumbled upon?
@kingkudzu3522 жыл бұрын
I love the way he dances around what’s really going on by just being passive aggressive.
@swiftjeff Жыл бұрын
It's good to see some of the good old days from time to time. When the KZbin algorithm gets it right a couple times a year.
@free_microwave Жыл бұрын
love how at the beginning he says to use safety shoes and not loafers, then at the end the host yeets his way through the wet floor in loafers and trys to wrestle the mop away while standing in it
@ryans6280 Жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣
@anthonysacco47183 жыл бұрын
The two actors who portrayed the Today Now! hosts were SO TALENTED.....
@andreworders7305 Жыл бұрын
He broke his spine waxing floors and it gave him the power to optimally wax floors. He can’t slip if he’s sitting down.
@rockercaterrorencountered4924 Жыл бұрын
actually wheelchairs can slide on slippery surfaces. I have a wheelchair similar to this and I've skid on ice before. If you hit something or fall of a ledge you can get injured, so this guy is actually lining up to injure more of his spine XD
@jerry31153 жыл бұрын
It amazes me how they have so many of these intro animations
@maxrochful Жыл бұрын
Not only a great home hack but a bit of a medical advice too!
@quenton44415 жыл бұрын
agreed dude...i lost my family when i was 6, i wish today i could just once say i love them. If you do have a family, tell them today, or ASAP that you love them and appreciate them taking care of you.
@mombosibes1072 жыл бұрын
These videos are so funny. I have binge watcthing The Onion since I had this weird wax related accident were I couldn't stand up from the floor.
@Phunurr4 жыл бұрын
This is incredibly bleak and joyless. Thanks ONN!
@bigaurum4 жыл бұрын
cool
@perigrin610 жыл бұрын
Wow this was a dark news story
@disliked13905 ай бұрын
It's crazy that Tracy did not get any acting jobs after this series. She's so great, her IMDB is a ghost town after this show
@blank4700 Жыл бұрын
He severed his spine so we don't have to. Carefully, he's a hero.
@moresnacksplease5262 жыл бұрын
This is great advice, I wasn't sure if I should sever my 4th or my 5th thoracic vertebrae
@deepfried1315 жыл бұрын
i love the list of tips: "hold your wife in your arms everyday" hilarious
@hubert98412 жыл бұрын
While you still can
@enclave2k13 жыл бұрын
Thanks Jerry, now I have a spotless floor and L4/L5.
@Baldurpet15 жыл бұрын
"Do hold your wife in your arms every day while you can" Oh wow, first that was funny but then like.. damn, he's never going to hold his wife again. Also the part at the end about the 7 kids not getting a heart transplant, this is some fucking dark shit right here.
@musicaccount3340 Жыл бұрын
He even lost his wife, and is pretty lucky to have found a purpose in life instead of falling into alcoholism and depression. Pretty dark if you think about it.
@kennysboat4432 Жыл бұрын
I'm glad they use experienced experts when they talk about such controversial issues.
@dennycrain838412 жыл бұрын
Oddly enough, this man was actually paralyzed after being shot during a robbery at the convenience store where he worked.
@wendyokoopa70486 жыл бұрын
Denny Crain at least he turned a negative to a positive
@randmiller884 жыл бұрын
Was he waxing the floor?
@theguythatasked64004 жыл бұрын
Well is he still with his wife?
@paifu.3 жыл бұрын
Source?
@jasoncr.55814 жыл бұрын
This is so tasteless and obscene my spine is tingling with nausea. So good and not one swear word or boobie.
@Alphae214 жыл бұрын
What
@DMS_Knighted_Drifter4 жыл бұрын
Yea old school ONN had great writing
@hirumaredx15 жыл бұрын
haha that was funny, he talks about how he fell the whole time. "How to turn your fallout shelter into a sex dungeon".
@hassanzaidi58434 жыл бұрын
Omg hi love your vids 💙💙💙
@jacobsigl16543 жыл бұрын
I thought that's what everyone did
@Drag0zard Жыл бұрын
This needs to be an actual show
@parableryan15 жыл бұрын
Onion News is always there to push the limits of comedy and humor. Awesome.
@CultWhatever4 жыл бұрын
I love how they just ignore him
@MCVessels3 жыл бұрын
Damn you're cold, JC
@pearcepackman61634 жыл бұрын
The fact that he’s trying not to laugh but failing at it gets me about this
@selfloathinggameing Жыл бұрын
Everyones talking about the acting but the camera pullback revealing that the guy is in a wheelchair is top notch
@randomuploadsism3 жыл бұрын
When it zooms out and you realise he’s paralysed 😆😆😆
@Raison_d-etre3 жыл бұрын
The thumbnail already gave it away.
@TheGooglySmoog Жыл бұрын
This show was so ahead of its time.
@HaoSci5 жыл бұрын
I think he just described how he got paralyzed in details.
@MrNinjaone14 жыл бұрын
got any evidence ??
@09makena3 жыл бұрын
I miss these small clips. Wish you guys could make more. I haven't found another place quite like yours.
@PoorDeadFishy15 жыл бұрын
"Turning your fall-out shelter into a sex dungeon." Man I love these people.
@Cenyon Жыл бұрын
Evergreen content! Really some of the best short form comedy to ever grace the internet.
@MLBuckProductions15 жыл бұрын
I love The Onion! So original, everytime!
@johncochran8497 Жыл бұрын
Gotta admire the oddly specific warnings that are totally coincidental.
@thefrogstronaut4 жыл бұрын
Im surprised Today Now never got picked up by adult swim for full length episodes
@gbdeck2004 жыл бұрын
This has me balling in tears of laughter So good, the slow realization to what was happening So funny
@bloblin12673 жыл бұрын
"Dont let the hubris of good health cloud your judgement!"
@titaniumdiveknife2 жыл бұрын
I lost it when that popped up. Bahahahahahahahaha
@SudrianTales3 жыл бұрын
The anchors behavior is so like other morning news networks behavior I had to remind myself this was the Onion
@jumbo64986 жыл бұрын
Thank you, great video. How did he get put in the wheel chair?
@jumbo64985 жыл бұрын
Thank you for touching this topic. He slipped on the waxing floor and can not move his lower body.
@jumbo64985 жыл бұрын
Thanks
@gore49755 жыл бұрын
Did you wait two months just to reply to your own comment?
@jumbo64985 жыл бұрын
@@gore4975I happened to watch the same video twice
@gore49755 жыл бұрын
Nah dude I think he just happened to watch the same video twice
@ianirwin9480 Жыл бұрын
Doing chores around the house is no joke. My cousin Sammy lost his left leg, 3 fingers and cat in a horrific dishwasher accident.
@TheShazbah15 жыл бұрын
'NO! IT'S ALL THAT I HAVE!' line of the centuary..lol
@schmoonzx14 жыл бұрын
its real. these are real issues that need to be addressed. educaton is the key here people.
@cxaxukluth54075 жыл бұрын
He was not going to let that news man sever his fifth thoracic vertebrae!
@Vscustomprinting2 жыл бұрын
Classic.. I'm going to tell my kids that this was the 90s
@Ratticis13 жыл бұрын
I fell and ruptured my T4, and I still find this hilarious