How transparent should we be about money in relationships?

Today we discuss money in relationships through the lens of transparency. Ivy, Lorna and Shiko share their experiences in this regard and Julia speaks from a prospective angle while learning from the rest.
How would you answer each of these questions the girls address? Leave a comment.
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XOXO
Ivy, Jules, Lorna, Shikie.

[@omolpenina1252]

Everytime I watch a new episode I get to like Lornzie more. She's the friend who's always there for her friends, lets them talk, you'd just feel her presence and it matters. She's lovely, classy and consistent. I stan

[@annmunyi901]

I'm like lornzie, I don't talk when everyone else is talking. I listen & give my opinion when time is right. I love you Lornzie

[@Royalmotorsworld]

I actually admire that🥳

[@dianahonyango.5750]

I love Lornzie for this alwaaays❤️❤️

[@worldcuisine9102]

You see this is what I'm talking about. Sio poa kuongea wote kwapamoja hata sielewi sometimes naskia tu kelele

[@charlesmuneri]

She is so mature

[@tabbytirop9018]

When Ivy said 'If you show during dating that you can,you will continue to can" I felt that

[@kimmiesonie]

Haha Same same

[@puritykemei7404]

It's really true

[@suelizmungai8863]

😂I did too

[@LolaBugzy85]

That's exactly the problem I created. I am undoing it in my marriage.

[@sandramutheu9732]

True

[@DesignYourDestiny]

So guys, if you don't tell me as your hubby, boyfriend or partner what you spend on hair, clothes, shoes etc.. what happens when you can't pay for them yourself? You will shock me by telling me you spend 5k on hair, 4k on nails and buy two pairs of shoes at 8k every two months? If I don't know and don't get used to the costs it will always seem expensive. Let your man know. That way he knows what to expect. I think this conversation needs a male perspective. Relationships are about two people and so far what am hearing is very subjective. I believe if you want honesty it can't be conditional. TRUST guys! That is the word.

[@kimmiesonie]

I wish they can invite you to represent guys who are transparent with their money among the other guys

[@mwongely1745]

Agreed. This conversation needs a man's perspective. A husband.

[@Caramel.Cookie]

I agree with your perspective cause I was quite shocked for majority of the conversation. For a long term relationship, it's important to think as one 💯

[@teejay9071]

Yes please Let them do a part two and have men na ikiwezekana they invite you

[@wafaaelbushra8913]

I can't agree more. It is all about trust. I saw this with my parents. My father disclosed everything and he had even gave my mother a legal authorization to handle every thing related to money coz he trusted her. In my opinion it is all about opening up to each other, knowing what you are facing together. We as a women and men tend to provide and receive in a different way financially, emotionally etc.. A man can provide and support the family from A to Z; but in some point if i felt that my man is struggling financially and i have that sort of money i would help him happily without counting.

[@mercyndambuki7595]

"You are not what you earn ,you are what you save", Ivy ~2021

[@angelkilemi9560]

"Financial stability to a woman is what sex is to a man"... I felt that💯💯

[@graciakinyanjui6937]

True

[@winniewambui7423]

💯

[@MarkWambui]

Nope

[@wambuimuiru3090]

💯

[@miriammugo853]

Doesn't this equate to prostitution? Sex for money?! This is such a trifling view on the complexities of the relationship between men and women. In the end, remember, he who has the money calls the shots....

[@KittKiarieChannel]

Hi please, I feel like a celeb now. Woohooo. We don't have a joint account. We both have our own separate (multiple) accounts. We agree on what needs doing in the house and then do it depending on who can bring what. He can use 'my' money and I can use 'his'. Even savings are different. We invest together and separately, and we have full knowledge of what we're both doing. We don't declare day by day what we spend money on (that's punitive and we trust each other). I has worked well for us for 10 years

[@mwangishee7453]

Kiiiiiiiiitttt🥰🥰you are here..me I just love you

[@beckyisaac538]

Wow this is awesome. "Trust wins"

[@j.omondi5826]

Can we have this conversation again. Possibly with a psychologist, financial adviser and lawyer present.

[@martinnjuguna4094]

Sure! They should also include the Lads a well to capture views across the board

[@kenditaari8822]

Lornzie oozes so much grace...

[@beckyxl1348]

Why does Ivy make me so happy. She is so engaging and captivating.

[@adaclaire7066]

Literally bumped into this just as I was about to make a financially life ruining decision for a man..Bless you girls!

[@wanjah.374]

Yes! Yes! On Ivy’s point. My mom told me long before I got married, that whatever money I declare to my partner, it will find a use. So declare that which you are ready to part with.

[@Arun71150]

Weka za kesho na kesho kutwa. And incase things pungulukana

[@mirriammaria2975]

Omg...very true

[@LolaBugzy85]

Foolish me.. nilimuonyesha niko na pesa na independence.

[@shezombonya]

If you have a man who wants to use your money all the time because they know how much you earn... he doesn't deserve you PERIODT. That's a gold digger

[@khadijahassan7130]

As a Muslim girl my money is my money and my husband's money is my money but I can help him if I choose to. It's the man's responsibility to provide for his family.

[@likanari]

Wow. Ain't you lucky

[@maureengathuo2709]

Not me enjoying this "serious" topics at 18😅I've learnt alot..Love you guys❤️❤️

[@cosmicdude7721]

Julez is my spirit animal. I like how genuine she is and that's not just from this video. Always wonder why she's still single. She'll make an awesome wife and mum someday. #wifegoals

[@faithkilonzi7804]

The financial literacy in Ivy! I want 📌🤗

[@dorahwamuyu8526]

At first I thought that this was a sensitive talk for Lorna but on second thoughts I was like she's taking in a few tips from her girls and carefully giving her feedback... Julia makes me feel so normal yaaani,wacha tu This episode should have a part 2

[@StaceyNduta]

*_Notification gang... happy 5 years!! we want a special episode where you edit all your best episodes/bloopers that never made it_* 😅😅😅

[@kimathijackie2310]

I second this😅💯

[@livingwithwanjiku]

Yassss😂💯

[@StaceyNduta]

@@kimathijackie2310 hopefully they'll see our petition

[@StaceyNduta]

@@livingwithwanjiku 😅😅

[@alicenimu8006]

Yaaaaasss... I hope they see this!!

[@annabelleomae6019]

I think the discussion about financial transparency in relationships/marriage is very individual and shaped by culture/ society, experience, upbringing and so on. My personal experience is that I am married to a man who initially did not earn more than me and still doesn’t but he has more to offer than just finances. Although finances is always a big thing in relationships especially in marriage, I believe how you act and behave in a marriage that determine how well it works or doesn’t. Yes, ideally I would want man who can provide and my money is mine like what Lornzie said but reality is that is not always the case. Financial transparency is all very dependant on a persons values. As long as a man is not complacent and always strives to become better for himself and the family, that for me is the most important thing.

[@everlynenana3886]

I love this comment!!

[@lovefavour8789]

This is brilliant 👍👍

[@CynthiaMata.]

Realest comment so far.bila ubaguzi

[@Msapere]

💯

[@marianabaraza1472]

I died when Julia got to defence mode as soon as Shiki said long term relationships 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@marionwambui6583]

I am from the school of thought that it is OUR money if we are married. We all have one pot that we take from and there is one hundred percent transparency. We were made to be ONE when we got married. If you chose your partner right I don't think it should be an issue. In our household we have a financial meeting we know what we are saving towards everything.

[@annmunyi901]

Hello Jules. The epitome of class, beauty & brains. Not to mention intellectual flawless, yet single. You make me feel normal.

[@mwaahdimejanet]

Is there such a thing as "A level of transparency?" It's either you are transparent or not, there is no in-between.🤷‍♀️

[@AsColumn]

Congratulations on 5 years!! So much love from Nigeria 🇳🇬 💕

[@furzzy013]

In dating - NO In marriage - YES BUT... ( depends on your partner, wengine ni nyang’au 😂😂)

[@rosemshilla9090]

🤣🤣

[@caduss2174]

💯

[@fu_raha]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@mreen254]

🤣🤣🤣

[@Blackiezz]

Surely! 😂😂😂😂heavy on the BUT!!!

[@Kahawachocolate]

You get to truly know and understand a man when he has money and you get to truly know and understand a woman when she doesn’t have money!

[@olivechege4184]

Julia is my spirit animal in relationships. We need more of her very relatable relationship stories.

[@terrynjoroge6545]

Follow her KZbin channel, My Tiny Little Channel, she talks about her relationships in some segments.

[@renee7171]

Yaani you can be with someone commited long term and have kids and still not trust each other with money? Like what is the point of being together? How do you save for investments or buying home, how do you plan for kids? How do you plan for holidays? Like this is your life partner, your thoughts this episode are really shocking 😅

[@joycemburu8041]

True especially ivy and shikkie

[@LolaBugzy85]

Are you married?

[@renee7171]

@@LolaBugzy85 yes I am

[@lynnjared8859]

Ikr

[@LolaBugzy85]

@@renee7171 Then I am sure you know marriage has its own lessons. I had the same mindest as you mami. Its not that we dnt have trust but we have learnt the hard way. I cant and will never trust a man 100% with my money and the situation is always a different ball game if you are earning more than him. Wangu knew about my money even when we were dating. Putting money together is definitely the ideal situation but when someone is taking advantage of the other and relaxing cs everything is provided for let's just stick to the basics. People have crazy experiences out here and especially women. You just learn the hard way unfortunately.

[@pegthj]

Preach girl preach, Lornzie!! 12:01. That is exactly me... I am a proponent of disclosing once you are committed to one another especially if your partner has proved that he can take care of you 100% without questioning your expenses. I make a fifth of my husband's income, and we have joint accounts, joint investments, and I have never regretted it. I think I would say every relationship is different, whatever rocks your boat. I think it depends on one's relationship with money...I have been married for16 yrs, and I have never regretted having our finances in the same pot, all our money flows in the same stream and I just do not think about it. When dating I never declared.

[@evem91]

I've been watching y'all since the beginning and every episode is just better and better. loovveee it!!

[@themusingsforum7672]

I almost forgot Lorna was in the episode until 11:53. The patience! she just listened

[@FranEJ]

really, i was just looking at her while the others spoke. beautiful woman. she speaks when she has something to say. No need to fight to speak lol.

[@ruksanaeddy7616]

One have to be a good listener 💯👌

[@felicity_fess1227]

Wow Lorna....this girl spoke at min 12....it could never be me or Juli..we love talking

[@FranEJ]

as long as you are ready to shut it so others can speak lol. it takes some level of maturity which all the ladies display cause they give each other chance

[@terrynjoroge6545]

And there's no problem in that. Not everyone likes commenting in everything. If that's when she felt like she needed to give input, then that's that.

[@josphinekamau8181]

Its like you ladies read my mind .I was about to post a suggestion about this topic .Thank you so much

[@sharonneogutu970]

Hey, Before we talk about finances in context of a relationship,do we know and understand; 1. Our money/wealth personality? 2. Our influences when it comes to money and their origins? 3. Our money insecurities? 4. Our money aspirations and what has informed them? This allows one to come to the conversation ready to unpack what it means to them, whilst more open to listen to where their partner is coming from. Money personality changes based on many factors, having frequent money dates allows each of you to know where one is based on the season.

[@tracymichael4923]

I love today's episode, money in relationships is a conversation we skirt around yet it's a vital factor! as Jules said it's a make it or break it!

[@itslovelytee2252]

I love this channel so much, congratulations on your 100k subbies 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾milestone you Guys deserve it.

[@phoebe_ouma]

Such an important conversation ladies, love your Monday morning videos 👌🏽

[@sautiadvocacy6052]

I've been watching since I left form four three years ago I love how all the conversations have elevated throughout that period

[@nellymurugi2581]

Wow, this was such a nice conversation, I wish there was a part 2 I feel like a lot was left unsaid like expectations, boundaries...

[@antonettewambani805]

Property inherited does not form part of matrimonial property for the record. As a family lawyer it is amusing to hear this thoughts on non- disclosure of what one earns , in my assessment this attributes to many divorces as their is no trust between the partners. It's also sad when we do succession and the family cannot even trace the properties that a deceased spouse / relative had

[@leotunapika6835]

That's actually a huge issue. All the hard earned money is lost since it wasn't disclosed. Disclosure and transparency doesn't mean that the partner should take or use.

[@w.k4382]

@@leotunapika6835 valid point

[@daisyamimo1912]

Your diverse perspectives is really valid. Love this show💚

[@Gakara2009]

I love the way Jules throws her hands ... You must get the point. I subscribe ❤️

[@MercilineG]

Always feels like am catching up with my elder sisters whenever am here.....😍love you guys.

[@annewaituika3019]

I love Jules.... I soo relate with her in soo many ways.... You are so real........

[@morrismutunga7622]

Eti Jules collects red flags?! 🤣🤣🤣 that just hilarious 😂

[@asmrafrican4628]

Situational wisdom! Well said.

[@V.D.Mbugua]

Loved this episode 🥰

[@deejayannxiouz]

I started watching your content when I turned 25, I turn 27 on 31st May. Your content is literally some of what is holding this over 25 shit show together. Thank you always ❤️

[@missgordons]

This conversation made me rethink of so many things... I love love it.

[@boosiek]

Woohoo!!! Road to 100k... Y'all are amazing. Love love your content.

[@wanguigrace2957]

Gotta like and comment before i watch.. Monday blues for who? 💪

[@dewaweshawakening9977]

Just stumbled on this nikibrowse streets za KZbin. Love your content, love the realness and calling it is,i think am gona still around.

[@adventureswithphi405]

This is so informative... Loved it!

[@angelakamau3819]

Ivy the way you explained Benjamin Zulu way of talking is true...,😂😂 Plus you are what you save not what you earn.

[@magdalinekaruma5362]

I love this conversation I was soo torn in between declaring and not. Now I know why not. Thanks.

[@kezmaina-doktari]

I enjoyed this so much!! And I also think they all have a great sense of humour 😜 Love! Love! ❣️

[@mercykikoma9217]

Amazing amaziiiiin conversations here..juicy..educative..relatable..imformative..entertaining...Living for this Content

[@kagkats]

Well done ladies... Relate so much with Jules here.

[@malasi_ash]

this is such a necessary topic!! thankyou

[@sancti_____]

Thanks for this topic... Let there be a part 2 alot still needs to be discussed

[@vallariekotheck6038]

I am 22 years and i swear I learn alot from you guys...mad love❤️❤️❤️

[@UnityMacheng]

Such an insightful episode! Thank you ladies. Yaaay road to 100K 🥳

[@faithsimano1662]

This is a great way to start the day ☺️

[@gracendumia2350]

Aki i love the new consistency,,,,and the topics are ahmaizing💥💥,,,,i wish it were possible to subscribe more than once aki,,,much love ladies❤️❤️

[@mirriammaria2975]

GREAT TOPIC! I really enjoyed watching this

[@dolphineakoth]

I loved this conversation, please do part 2

[@Dizzydee77ness]

I still believe there should be a lot of Financial transparency is all marriages. It's easy to say you hide when you are earning alot. When you don't have that money, you will want to be supported.

[@radebethando7799]

Marking the register (although late). Love you ladies and your content!!

[@Reggie-DIY]

I really resonate with Julia stories😂😂😂hizi streets 😭😭😭 Mimi I want to be spoiled 😂😂

[@kelvinwechei8076]

Just realised that I have been watching these episodes bile kusubscibe🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️😂😂finally remembered to hit the subscribe button

[@DJRUFFTV]

This is an important conversation. My opinion is FULL DISCLOSURE. Either that or just stay single.. Maoni yangu tu.

[@dillientk398]

I Honestly feel like you should do longer videos ...Love you guys

[@christiemailu5704]

Totally love this episode!! I relate to Julz on so many levels 😅😅😅

[@SW-qw4kn]

I'm not married yet but from the outside looking in, I see a lot of financial trauma probably innate, drawn from past experiences or based on societal experiences and even just self preservation. I don't think there's a one size-fits all answer regarding financial transparency in marriage/relationship. I think before taking that step, you need to incorporate financial counselling as part of marriage counselling. Consult lawyers privately and as a couple, know your rights and put appropriate safeguards in place. Because it's absurd to trust someone with your life and the lives of your innocent children but not trust them with your money. We've heard stories where husbands have died leaving their families in chaos because of hidden property, wives being landlords while their husbands struggle to pay rent...it's sad. Break the cycle.

[@elsaachieng6958]

I love this conversation.

[@linnetkasivu3054]

This conversation is powerful indeed

[@annokoth6757]

This video was needed!!!

[@loribee858]

Loved this episode. In the past I have been guilty of carry more of the financial weight and that destroyed the relationship because deep down I knew he was free loading and I was using money to keep him happy. Now I have matured and have established boundaries. My earnings is the reward for my labour and I will contribute freely once it's within established boundaries. It makes life easier.

[@LolaBugzy85]

😍😍😍😍

[@eileenakinyi4031]

It is shocking how I relate to you guys despite the age huge difference😆. Mob love😍

[@sharonkelly3845]

Quite informative, always love you guys. I relate with Jules situation, money can devastate a relationship. My advice date someone you comfortable with, mtu amejituma.

[@puritygitau108]

This episode came at the right time for me, thanks! Currently reading rich dad poor dad ,I'd recommend it to anyone ,its quite helpful in creating and managing finances.

[@winniemartine7716]

I love ivy, she's total energy ,

[@jacquelinemurugi4114]

Happy Turning to you guys. I love what Jules has said. If there's anything that has taught me, is this Covid-19 period, guys have lost their jobs and others have received paycuts. So, in as much as a man feels his most confidence self when he provides for his fam, but then the pandemic happened, the wife, if she's in a position to, will step up. Let's support each other to work hard so that when one partner's season is on the low, the other can support the fam.

[@njulianyambura]

Here to support you gals. The discussion was ligt💥💥. New subscriber.

[@legibitiqua2]

Julia are you me? Am I you? Great episode.

[@sheilaodawa3932]

This episode brings into perspective very many marriages/situation-ships all around us.

[@millionairess9680]

For me it’s all about trust. We have similar money philosophies and working towards early retirement. I’m a movement by myself but we are a force together

[@EstherKinuthia]

Question 1: You need full transparency of how much you both earn to influence decisions on where to invest (home ownership for example needs full disclosure from both partners. The bank needs this information for example and they advise on the maximum you can borrow). 2. There's a need for full transparency to plan rent, choice of school for the kids, career breaks and general standards of living. So if you are not transparent, how do you go about the first 2 points? Question 2: Is the issue that if you show a man you can pay, you end up paying for everything OR is the issue his relationship with money? is it guaranteed that if you show don't show him you CAN, then he will continue paying? Question 3: How does the lack of transparency manifest into trust issues and other relationship dynamics?

[@esperanzanyiraneza9126]

The energy I get from you ladies 😉😘😘😘😘. Real vibe 💯. I love how I learn good serious stuff while laughing saaana. Merci,🙏🙏

[@nataliemukami6241]

Ivy gets me every time... She brings out to life all the thoughts that I have in my head... I have died at 39.04 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@teejay9071]

We need a part two and please bring the guys we hear their maoni for us singles to be more equipped mentally financialwise when we get into it

[@emmamumma6602]

@ivy ancestral property is NOT matrimonial Property.

[@evemuhia2]

I relate so much to Julia

[@morinenyawira946]

Me too,i love her alot

[@janetkasyoka2550]

Re-watching this episode and i feel like you should do another one with the boys..i'd like to hear their perspective on money in relationships

[@leilamohamed331]

A conquest!!! 😂😂😂 Jules kills me every time

[@sarahmunga]

Gosh this is really good conversation. My fiancé (baby daddy) we do disclose the exact amount we do earn. I feel we should leave 15% not declare it. I recently decided to not disclose everything Incase anything happens. For my next job and business and savings he won’t know haki 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@habibagicheru5615]

Getting big girl advice everydayyyy!!!!

[@rosemshilla9090]

Happy many more🎉🎊💕congratulations... It's not easy👏🙌🔥money matter is a very sensitive topic....i wouldn't disclose mine... Your fellow agemate😀really enjoyed watching y'all plus Benjamin Zulu issa whole vibe😀😀🤣🤣

[@eleanorayebare1406]

The 15th minute killed me. Jules hahaha