Things you should ask your partner Before Marriage - Money ,Sex ,Kids and Everything in Between

[@Mainaaaaaaaahhhhh]

I feel lornzie contributed more as they were two, because she usually give the listener type of vibe in their group. I loved hearing her continously talk❤

[@cynthiamwiti5610]

Very true

[@themusingsforum7672]

me too

[@gladysangelakamau8760]

I concur

[@minaha3913]

100 % I love her clam and insightful nature

[@kaayconnect8112]

Lornzie is so underrated, I love how she got to shine on this episode 🤩🤩🤩🤩

[@africangirl189]

True I like her

[@victorialydia]

Been here since I was 21…5 years ago and finally I am over 25 #turned 26 a week ago and I am glad to be relating more to these convos by the day 🥰

[@lashaunclaire4257]

❤️

[@risperwanjikumacharia9078]

Turned 25 on may too and finally I feel like I'm now 'legally' here..

[@faithtarrus3464]

Same here now fully qualified😊

[@parieagan1938]

Isn't this the most chill O25 episode ever? I love it

[@margaretnjerimuiru7666]

about debts i remember i had a loan before i got married ,and i was okay paying it on my own but after i got a baby my hubby asked what i would want as a push gift and i said i want my loan cleared and he agreed to pay it.but i was willing to pay it .

[@louisawambui4475]

That was thoughtful of him and reasonable of you. Nice,

[@makena.cherry]

Sidenote: the lighting and video quality looks extra good today👌👌👌

[@mollykabuteh7144]

I feel like this is a combo I never expected to enjoy...it feels like the big sisters talking so softly but dropping gems ever so gently!!! The type of episode that can partner so well with a glass of wine! Love love love to Miss Tiramisu and Lornzie

[@tankisosedutla9311]

Next time bring dee and shiv ..the four of yall won't hurt 😂😂

[@GracekevinMusic]

Yes please .....I concur

[@PreskilaVictoria]

correct

[@lindachoka9748]

Yeah.... can't miss that one

[@qwynb-withatwist8475]

Right!!!!

[@joanmoraa3178]

Yes please

[@susanwachanga6257]

👏👏 Such an important conversation. Good job ladies. I’m also quite green in this but some of the conversations we’ve had are: - How long can we stay apart? - Who does what? - What’s our parenting style? - Where will our kids go to school? And acting towards it. Etc. One thing we’re trying to make a tradition is having a meeting at the beginning of every year to set our family goals. Curious to see what others have to say. ❤️

[@mohshii6672]

What do you mean 'how long can we stay apart?'

[@didiash]

@@mohshii6672 like if someone gets a job in a different city or country

[@didiash]

Great points ro add to my list

[@fancybeingawesome]

And how many children do we really want

[@susanwachanga6257]

@@mohshii6672 yes, if any opportunity arises abroad or in a distant place, how long are we willing to stay apart.

[@introspective9783]

Awesome content ladies, really enjoyed it. On debt disclosure , please remember not ALL debt is bad. When I was dating my current husband, he busy paying a mortgage for a home, I found that soooo responsible and attractive! When we wed, I was very happy to to take on the debt as he went on to secure other aspects for our financial stability. It’s been 12 years and no regrets. If you don’t want the debt before marriage, do you want the benefits of what’s he’s acquired before you two were an item? Food for thought …not all debt is bad

[@christinemukami2911]

Lornzie looks so cute, that outfit was made for her. I love the accessories on Shikie they are screaming money.

[@miriamosogo7435]

😬😬😬😬😬Just because your man didn't disappoint you, doesn't mean that the rest will be the same. Risky advise this one.

[@Anne-rh8rn]

Not me watching this being very much single and having no one in mind. This is a great conversation, will come in handy probably in the near future.

[@gracesila8881]

Y'all complement each other. This dual are gentle and calm and Jules and Ivy are outspoken I genuinely get the best of both worlds with y'all as a team and as individuals so regardless who is on set I know I will enjoy still.

[@saralinakui]

The two most calm ladies in the group. I love them.

[@wamaithaa]

Lornzie issa vibe. Her points are another level, thinks like a machine

[@LolaBugzy85]

Always have your money as a woman no matter how rich your husband is. Have a will in this day and age. Protect yourself.

[@tarirodorcas]

Shikie if u were in Zim, the elders would say u have been married for 7 years. This side once u stay with a guy and your family knows he automatically becomes your husband and u his wife. Most especially if there are babies involved. Lobola then becomes a formality.

[@rosekasande1177]

Shikie must really love and spend much on her hair. she's always saying how she doesnt wanna be asked why she's doing her hair twice a month or spending so much on it! The queen and her crown!😀😇😇

[@KeziahMuthoni]

I've been looking for a comment on their flawless makeup I haven't found not one. Skin goals ladies!!! Wow💝💝 Awesome conversation as always, key pointers to know before marriage.👏🏾👏🏾

[@loribee858]

This should be a regular segment. Love the synergy between you both, plus the honesty. I enjoyed this episode 🌻 PS you both looked extra beautiful today!

[@felixsumba2576]

An Important topic that requires more time than the hour. I'd recommend revisiting the same topic with a marriage counselor or with people of different ages in their marriage. On money, I urge complete transparency, even if you maintain different accounts. When you are married you become a team. A lot of things can go wrong in the darkness. It is essential to be accountable to one another over finances. If you don't know how much your partner earns, it creates room for financing wasteful and harmful things like mipango ya kando. Also, wastage can go on undetected.

[@mercyme4262]

Once you know what your partner earns then you can maximize the family's potential for financial freedom.

[@hope.n.wilson]

Two 💜💜 for our two beautiful introverts, such a relaxing and insightful convo. Like watching two girlfriends enjoying some downtime

[@shaniramsale5324]

The camera quality and setting of this video is 💯💯💯

[@kirei63]

Personal dynamics will play a huge role. Money is always touchy but honest conversations help in achieving family goals

[@FranEJ]

run each others credit report prior to getting married. Full disclosure is the way to go financially.

[@maureenwambui2992]

I love the lighting and set today. Makes the conversation feel really intimate. I honestly love it!

[@sheillakav6019]

Great discussion! If I may add: First, a will is important for anyone with assets/money and most importantly kids. Your net worth is basically the cash in your bank,properties, in investment accounts, under mattress, plus assets you own. - there are people who have luxury clothing or classic cars or expensive paintings, those too should be in your will. If something were to happen to you and your spouse, it’s important to have money allocated to take care of your kids and a college fund etc You don’t want your kids or relatives fighting over money. If you were to pass away and leave your spouse, you want to make sure your kids are protected if they remarry or have a difficult family - might take all the money and leave the kids without college funds, a house, and the money you worked hard for. You don’t necessarily have to be rich or wealthy to have a will. If you are bringing in a stable income it’s the reasonable thing to do. It’s more common in the US and first world countries because they are an individual people unlike Africans, we are a communal people. So, when you die the community comes together to help. In the U.S that’s not a common practice but go fund me is changing that - per case basis. Secondly, when it comes to debt. It’s an important topic but your geographical location matters. In the U.S for instance, they have a credit system. Most (not all) people have student loans, mortgages, car loans, credit cards etc. It’s imperative to discuss debt, but somewhat hard to find a partner with no debt. It’s more of finding someone who is working towards paying off their debt and making sure you’re okay with the amount they owe coz that can be a problem. If they have mortgage you may decide to sell the house or refinance under both your names or decide what works best for you. So, again, debt can be tricky but it’s important to know what your partner owes, their credit score, spending habits, have a plan to pay off the debt before getting married if that’s possible or have a plan to pay it off before having kids if you can - it’s not easy but it’s doable.

[@lornatwins9944]

Lonzie it's a trap to be told u don't have worry about money. A time comes when he says this month am not doing well and that thing doesn't leave u the same mentally

[@Nzila_nie]

I've really enjoyed this episode. I went back so many times just to get a good laugh 😂. And Lornzie is so easy and free around Shikie. You two should definitely do more videos together ❤️❤️

[@faithnyaboke95]

It's refreshing to hear Shikie's and Lonzie's POVs. It feels like their voices are hushed up when the whole group shoots

[@kezmaina-doktari]

😂😂😂When Lornzie said, 'if you're here for Ivy and Jules please stay, you might like us', I felt that... Love love over 25. I missed Ivy and Jules, hope to see them on the next one🥰

[@swagaamin3982]

Same sis, same..I'm an intro so I'm always here for the extroverts🤣

[@peacetumushabe2315]

Yeah was here for Jules.. You got me haha 😎

[@michelle7226]

Jukes fan base checking in 🤩 but it was a lovely convo by the two lovely ladies

[@trizzahben248]

I like this conversation. I've been married for 8yrs. Going into marriage, we both agreed we didn't want kids. This year, my husband decided he wants kids. Although I love him dearly, I'm willing to leave him as I don't feel i'm willing to compromise such a big thing, and don't want him to be misereable since he wants something I can't give him. I'm in my late 30s.

[@nancymarende1003]

Wow!

[@louisawambui4475]

Wow. What a turn of events. What, if I may ask made him change his mind?

[@iamnolt9743]

@@louisawambui4475 men almost always do this, hectic 😞

[@wairimu8611]

I love how you love you and him too that you'd still choose leaving if it will bring happiness..I send you love and hugs🥰💞💞

[@madrinekyomuhendo5315]

People like u are rare

[@carolmuthoni7806]

Totally thrilled by the lighting and picture quality in this video! YUM!

[@wanjiru8102]

Just for the record, I think you don't need to be rich to have a will. Just write whatever you have at the moment and keep changing it through a lawyer when need be,maybe every time you get a new asset.

[@fatmanasir6691]

I find these videos educative&real. Thanks for this chapter, cos a lot of us don't ask them till we are deep in&late. Sex,money&religion are the biggest conflicts in relationships/marriages. Being a little older, single &with kids, the question of do you want more kids is very crucial. What is the money language of each person. as soon as possible. A sobering podcast

[@marionnaguanga3774]

I love this conversation...and you two are so calm. Discussions about your partner's family is paramount, been married over 10years and I'll tell you relatives can really take advantage of you and you can end up breaking ah people just don't know boundaries.

[@PeacefulSerenity1]

The studio set up is fantastic, the lighting is also very good. Loved this episode ladies, really enjoyed it

[@Perfectly_Abby]

This was so awesome, relaxed and authentic. Great job Ladies 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@estherheward]

21:47 Shi spoke about compromising in marriage. Would consider doing an episode on Reasonable Compromises in marriage 🙌

[@jonesbarasa6105]

Absolutely

[@deeanne6692]

Thiiis. I hope they see it

[@estherheward]

@@deeanne6692 fingers crossed 🙌

[@maureenwakoli2201]

👌👌

[@zaitunihussein9184]

I'm waiting on this....

[@marionwambui8097]

A will is not just for the rich. Esp if you have kids it's important to just write who takes your kids if you pass on. We assume people will care for them in such a situation, but you would be surprised what orphans go through. Make sure it's well dated and signed .

[@nyamburanjoki3540]

Agreed. A will is legal document that states your intentions and just leaves your house in order. You dont have to be rich. If you have kids its the most important thing

[@sincerearinda]

what if the person doesn't want to take them,and your giving them your kids

[@nyamburanjoki3540]

@@sincerearinda I think if you are considering someone as the guardian of your children, it is important to have that conversation with them before putting it in a will. Don't assign someone such an important role if you are unsure that they want or are able to take on such a great responsibility

[@sincerearinda]

@@nyamburanjoki3540 True better that way,talk to them before.However on a light note imagine someone saying no..that would be so weird and am sure others would find it hard to say no to your face even when they don't want the responsibility. Am guessing if one had enough money to come with the responsibility it would be pretty easy for people to accept.

[@nyamburanjoki3540]

@@sincerearinda Definitely kwanza the way Shikie mentioned. Here are the kids, the money and the schedule that's easier to accept

[@sofiakabibi9005]

The duo that I didn't think I needed 😊

[@BlessedSibajene]

Great conversation! I recommend getting the fair play book as well as the accompanying deck of cards. It’s a great deck that allows partners to choose what they want to do in the relationship. Categories include will writing, gift buying, who goes to the hospital with a sick child and who stays with the other/s, who chooses insurance, who opens mail, who sends gifts to family, who responds to invites, who plans holiday trips, who attends pta meetings and so much more. Very informative

[@eadienungari6273]

This was too nice.. Langata cemetery prices: Burial; Foreigners - Kes.50,000, People outside Nairobi - Kes, 40,000, People withing Nairobi - Kes,30,000. Crematorium prices; Kes.16,800 per person, Kes.12,500 for children.

[@donnajoe4442]

This was a lovely convo. As a newly wed, we have discussed most of the things you talked about. I'm lucky my husband and I are on the same page for the most part. About the movie ,'Our Father', the kids found out their father had a disorder, and that's why many of them had issues with their health. They are 94 kids and counting.

[@kendiegitonga2560]

Loved today’s conversation,am here for Lornzie,I actually followed over25 coz of lornzie.

[@thefeaturesyoulove]

Such a chill, easy and cozy video to watch. Felt like I was listening to my besties❤️‍🔥

[@julietmwangi4563]

One of the calmest episodes. Love it still:)

[@zippymbugua8996]

On raising kids am a new mum and honestly it feels good to have a present partner night help is really needed with this little beings ❤.

[@Nataliejulie-p8b]

Lorna makes me want to transition to locs😍🇿🇼love from Zimbabwe

[@simplymichelle2720]

Such an important conversation. I honestly don't mind who can or can't make it. I'm just happy for the consistency. Always looking forward for Mondays.

[@Cera-me7bv]

Can't stop smiling throughout this conversation

[@janat6932]

It is important to get tested for suspected genetic diseases as well or just check for the sickle cell gene. 3 of my friends have given birth to kids with sickle cells yet they never knew they were carriers of that gene.

[@RainbowRays12.]

true,

[@naimaomondi4311]

VERY IMPORTANT

[@isabellaobara9413]

VERY IMPORTANT!!! Some partners already know that they are carriers of the gene so full disclosure is VITAL.

[@shiromuita-saisi3554]

Just remembering how weird it was being called Mrs someone 🤣 My hubby had to have a conversation with the mum who comes First..... God, me(wife), our children and then they fall under the rest. She respected that. This is such a great and timely conversation I have been married for 8 years but I wish I listened to this conversation before I got married. Our finances would be at the top.....

[@bumblebee4280]

😂 Your husband is very brave. People have this thought at the back of their heads and never say it.

[@maryjoshua1334]

With or without Julia and Ives Over 25 is still amaaaaazzing❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@NativesofUtopia]

You should definitely write a will. Especially who is the guardian of your kids should you both die, listing more than one, in the order of preference. If you were taking care of a child who is unrelated to you, how they will be taken care of. That life insurance you have, how is it to be dispensed. Who will be the executor of your estate, hata kama it's 10K. Where will your furniture go, your stuff, - i.e. to the family that takes your kids, distributed,etc How you would like to be buried, what kind of service, where you want to be buried, if you have insurance, how to access it, sometimes even who will be your preferred coffin bearers, your eulogizer, etc. Your social media, who will get your passwords, and what do you expect to be done with them. We as Africans are scared of them, but it's essential.

[@zenarashid4422]

Lawyer here. I made my 1st Will When I Had just 50K. So it's not just for the rich But it's incredibly important. Also crenation is cheaper

[@lousasheenaz8887]

I really really looved this episode, you guys were so genuine and raw, didn't look rehearsed and it was completely natural...Pluuus I learnt a whooole lot, I'm not married yet, but you bet I'll be asking him those questions 😉😉!! You guys should do this more often ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@audreykoskei4072]

Miss Tiramisu and Lornzie are so sweet to say that because literally they have entire fandoms, Shikie is this organized darling and Lornzie is the aesthetic qween.

[@peninahkimani9509]

My 2 favourites humans in over 25...I over enjoyed the conversation...more of the 2 of you please...

[@0900McShizzle]

Nothing as painful as losing a family home/assets because a spouse failed to disclose debt taken 😢😢😢 have deep serious conversations before getting married. Also, please ask him/her if they’re secretly gay….. growing number of divorces because of late realizations

[@aokookello5564]

Kwanza the gay part

[@michelleakinyi987]

Whaaaat

[@mercyme4262]

But how do you ask...."Babe are you gay?"🤣

[@mercyme4262]

Hence why I believe you inherit your partner's debt and it also becomes your responsibility.

[@MarthaMuiru]

Aki Lornzie, ati dancing in the rain🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@marionwambui6583]

The duo I didn't know I needed. I loved this.

[@beloncekamz2821]

Very enlightening conversations👏🏾👏🏾Mrs Shikie and Lornzie good vibes😍🔥🔥, happy marriage🙏🏾✨. Jules and Ivy you were missed😘. Monday brighter🌞.

[@vee3687]

I love that intro.. "just chill, you might like us!" Got me smiling n most def had me chilling even though i usually prefer when the entire group is there cz the dynamic is just one of a kind but i love the energy so much, i def wouldnt mind more Shikie n Lonzie vids in the future. 🤩🤩🥰

[@sandramutheu9732]

Shiko your skin is goals 😍

[@georginamaina402]

😂😂😂it feels illegal to just come here and not liking all of you

[@stephaniegati1051]

That’s Actually my parents. Dad paid all bills and mum was a housewife until I joined highschool. A man can pay bills and you deal with the kids….bora mkubaliane😃

[@aokookello5564]

What of he dies or gets disabled. Of course it goes without saying, God forbids

[@miaduana]

@@aokookello5564 what if he doesn't? I think that's when my very expensive education and work experience would kick in. Women should always have something going for themselves on the side.

[@dashb9053]

Most people wait too long before having some of these basic conversations, in the first year cover the basics from wanting kids to faith to finances to what individual goals look like and have a general idea of what you want and that you want the same things and that you are operating on the same value system or principles. The smaller things we can iron out along the way later on. Lets not start talking about the important stuff 3yrs in, when I'm realizing you don't believe in marriage or want kids and i do and we've wasted all this time together yet there's no future.

[@maiwasekumwenda4186]

I support this. That talking stage and when feelings are not invested is when these conversations are meant to be discussed.....

[@wambuiwamuyu9286]

I love this💯💯

[@reine924]

That discussion should be done immediately you start dating,at the point where both parties need to know if you're dating for fun or for keeps. Learning 3 to 6 months into a relationship that your partner is only in for fun or marriage and kids has never crossed his mind while you are emotionally invested in it can be very disappointing. I learned this the hard way and decided to define relationships right at the beginning to avoid healing from non-existent relationships 5 times every year😀

[@linahndanu7369]

I have really enjoyed today's episode.🤩🤩 Good Job 12.5 👏👏👏

[@MiriamSagini]

Really nice episode! Raw and clear. On finances, I think it would be nice to also discuss prenup issues if any partner wishes to sign one before marriage.

[@darleneapidi3463]

Still on the money issue....i feel like a conversation about a prenurp shud occur..... Not ati we are predicting a divorce but its just playing safe

[@kristyannah]

Shiku 🤣 wanaenda wakiendanga! "they go going"

[@carolinekirogo88]

Atleast now lornzie can talk more

[@YoungShiro]

I agree. She's so cool.

[@lisakanyambuu5550]

I subscribed long time ago but I have never watched your videos, I must say u r incredibly beautiful and talented. Nice to b here❤️❤️❤️

[@bettyabilla4922]

Very important information, I wrote everything down. Asanteni sana and you two looks cute like👌.

[@sophymaroa3363]

Great convo Lornzie and Shiks 👌

[@vallwanjala2378]

I got married a month ago 🥳...loved the conversation...I so relate with lornzie

[@hellenamedia3470]

Congrats..May God bless your marriage..

[@syombuaann8483]

May God bless your marriage.

[@winniewangui9661]

The conversations we need to have,so enlightening Thankyou ladies for this it was so calm and very informative.

[@liliankogi1589]

I’ve seen a will and the closet was allocated who will be in charge of it , closet I mean clothes shoes etc

[@mamotselintlatlapa818]

What works for me with finances,we budget based on both our incomes. Then each person has an equal share of their own pocket money that they spend however they want. But the rest is for our family.

[@wellnessbysylvia]

Not me smiling each time Shikie speaks 😊

[@lorrainekojay]

🤣🤣🤣🤣I love how honest Lornzie is about boundaries when it comes to her spouce's friends and acquaintances.

[@janetkyalo9701]

I love her for that

[@MtotowaNjuru]

I love Lornzie’s outspokenness in this episode

[@nyamburanjoki3540]

This is a really nice episode. Important conversation and the vibe between the two of you is really awesome. Taking notes for when I get there.

[@herloveisqueen]

The vibe with you two is on a whole other level. Great job.

[@nasramohamed5681]

Wonderful episode ladies! Fun fact, in Islam the husbands are obligated by law to financially care for the wife and kids! We are being sponsored all the way to old age 😂

[@deeanne6692]

Give me a Mustapha or Ahmed sis😭😂😂😂

[@tuforu4]

SOMALIA

[@hidayaeggah1240]

🤣🤣🤣

[@Cera-me7bv]

This so interesting..next time please bring shiv and Dee.

[@dorothystevens101]

Perfect duo...I have heard more of lornzie than I have ever heard

[@joymubambe1354]

Very informative 👏👏I really enjoyed this episode 🥰 with love from Zambia 🇿🇲🇿🇲

[@gracemureithi1196]

The duo looks and speaks so elegantly

[@magicmery]

You have such a refreshing and entertaining way to conversate, pleasure to watch 🌻Thank you for talking about money too. It definitely is a sensitive but also so impactful topic in relationships and marriages. And also, unfortunately, divorces. Maybe go in depth next time about why financial expectation talk is so important and what are ways to handle the subject in a low stress and loving way..? 💛✨

[@LisaSmith-dl8pv]

Congratulations Lornzie!!! 💕🧸🎈🎊🎉

[@teresakariuki8978]

Thank you Shikie and Lonzie for such an enlightening conversation! Quick question about finances, so while we might not care about how much our spouses earn or how they're using their cash, what's your take on having the knowledge about their bank A/Cs , Mpesa pin and investments, this in the case of God forbid one spouse becomes sick or dies and the other partner has no knowledge about his finances?

[@mercyme4262]

If you dont know how much your spouse earns then the knowledge of pins and investments will reveal that information. Am not sure you can have access to all this and still maintain privacy.

[@teresakariuki8978]

Not necessarily, the knowledge of bank A/Cs and the pin doesn't mean that one will be going to check the bank balance at the end of the month and if they do of course the owner of the a/c will most likely get a notification, same case to any Mpesa transactions as for the investments I don't think knowledge of them will give away a spouses salary amt, maybe just an idea. What would likely give away the information would be the email details. I strongly think it's important for couples to have an idea of each other's finances whether it's investments or loans. Ps. It doesn't have to be every detail.

[@vee3687]

@@teresakariuki8978 I think in such a case it would b a good idea to discuss with the partner who can inturn list you as a next of kin or something like that. I know for certain that banks and mpesa have that option, am not sure about other financial institutions. Bt depending on the institutions terms, then incase of a tragedy they would pass on the funds as well as burden of debt to the spouse provided there is sufficient documentation. (mostly this is only done in case of death and not any other situation.) and only if the spouse had you listed as next of kin and agreed to said terms

[@kabaleduba9600]

Ahaha C’mon guys Ofcos we are here for you too. We love to see you two😍👏🏽

[@qwynb-withatwist8475]

Well done ladies,this was calm and soothing yet enlightening conversation, I feel privileged to know about this before marriage 😍

[@rosesimani]

My lovely daughter...I want you home for burial. You are precious to us and we will look after your grave. We Luhya's treasure you. Your children will always know where you are .

[@ess2661]

I'm in love with this duo😍😍

[@evewaithaka]

I love this video. You two are so chill and calm. ❤️❤️❤️ We need more of these.

[@haikajohn8924]

The episode I needed as a lady retiring from 25 soon ... great episode ladies ❤️