How Your Adaptations Save Your Life, Only to Doom It!

[@TealSwanOfficial]

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[@Ane127]

Please pin this or gets lost in the comments.

[@the1betterpodcast84]

it’s not showing 😢

[@SunShine-sw2ke]

A video on how to feel anything but numb, exhausted and angry would be great..

[@Xr2-8fan_810]

hi teal, so good to be along here. i thank you and tell you a agape you for the helpand healing you have granted me, the jounrey is worth it and I stay along with my notebook and pen. new account. fan since 2013. when my trauma bonds untethered in 2019 into 2022...life...just like that meme you did, "life got better and better and better. " around 2018 I had my organs removed and years later I find myself evcited and homeeless in my car. I made it because I stayed nearby your work, stayed off of drinking, stayed with...my art in a different way! I needed to become homeless in my 40s to learn gonache and oil pastel - I was so stuck I had to be moved into my car only to drive everywhere to film and paint everything. its sort of like a liz roth inspiration, she traveled all 50 states and painted them. I felt more healings come towards me from your work and others work while I was homeless. today im housed and slowly putting things together. the car the supported me from 2/2022 was tboned 8/2023, both drivers were ok. in walking and biking I discovered so much and I built my own home gym and further expanded my art studio - all over homeless in my car for a few months? wow! and I didnt know where I would be moved to. I am moved to a place nearby so many things that I love! I am nearby a veggie stand, a major worry for me without a car. then I found some place better to swim. water and the gym is my life. I leanrd thru home rehabbing my problems that problems really will began ro resolve themselves. goals and priortoies shift and life turns around. what spoke out to me was how the little girl learned to never be attached to outcomes. wow!! I needed to hear this! you are such a earth angel teal, fan lady, linda okc

[@sherececocco]

I really enjoy Teals paradox explained videos.

[@PatriotResearchGal]

Truly the new literacy is going to be the ability to learn and unlearn and relearn. Thank you for this reminder. 🙏🏻

[@ramenface_________________]

You see it in celebrities and athletes

[@kristinasolen4053]

❤ amen

[@ecospider5]

In grade school I was very stressed by my parents fighting so I would step in and try to solve their argument. In 5th grade I befriended a kid in class that regularly got beaten by his dad. I bugged my mom and his mom until he got an apartment with his mom without his dad. His mom would regularly spend the night with her husband. I don’t remember who stayed with him when she did that. My mom was worried I might be codependent. So got me into a counselor during 6th grade. I learned how to help people while also paying attention to my self and setting boundaries in the relationship where I helped people. I am now 50. I would not be the stable stoic person that I am without my parents great decisions that year. I was very lucky. My parents had a lot of problems, but they acknowledged those problems and did make them their kid’s responsibility. They ended up being fantastic parents.

[@oceanwonders]

*and did not make them?

[@ecospider5]

@oceanwonders My parents had a lot of problems, but they acknowledged those problems and did not make those problems their kid’s responsibility to fix or worry about.

[@javireyes7333]

I d love to know how the counsellor did to teach you boundaries In j’éloignai others

[@ecospider5]

@javireyes7333 Well condescending it into a comment here you go. 1) learn to recognize when you are attracted to someone because you intuitively know they need help. 2) make a conscious decision before talking to them. Do you have the time and energy in your life right now to help someone. Or will you have to sacrifice. 3) once you are involved with someone, you just met them or they are a 30 year friend. If you see they need help make a conscious decision if you will help them. Decide how much energy that might take so you are aware. 4) if someone asks you to do something rarely say yes. Inform them how you could help on your terms. 5) always remember if you make your life terrible you will be able to help fewer people. So this mainly comes down to always make your own decisions. Someone else’s expectations controlling you will lead you to very bad days. This doesn’t mean you can’t do what they need it just means you should only do it if it is something you want to do, separate from their expectations. And do a lot for yourself when you can.

[@-KorruptionOfLight-]

I think you're the first youtuber I've seen on relationships that actually talks sense

[@theresagagnon9162]

TEAL is the most underrated therapist of absolute courage, integrity and LOVE!

[@vdl3984]

I am Kyle basically. It feels so violent to go against everyone in your environment constantly. It really breaks you down.

[@siliconflesh]

watch attack on titan and romanticise being eren

[@msmrreckoning]

@@siliconflesh LOLOL

[@iMikkeysat]

Oh I totally understand what you are saying here😣Hope, you doing well 💐☺

[@SantiagoCristalino]

FEEL YOU.

[@enobishop1419]

Teal Swan I got so much out of that. It's that saying: we are the both the prisoner and the guards... that has come to me. I don't know what I don't know and I also know what I know when I know it. I always have known it's that I could not see it. I'm both the light and the darkness. Profound, painful and as difficult as I can make it. I begin to see myself in all things. How does someone get out of their own way? I don't know? One step at a time starting with an apology to self for the misguided pressure and disappointment. Then one step at a time some kind words and encouragement to self One small step at a time. I am here ... I am loving... I am taking responsibility for myself I am afraid I am choosing to live I chose to change myself Thank you 🔥 ❤

[@Openingtheshadow]

I love how the video is 10:10. I’ve been seeing that number everywhere. I also love the story format you’re doing these in. Great video Teal!

[@Dan-kp9hk]

That is my whole life question - being alone but true to myself or adapt. And girl, we are truly social animals, so it is really hard to go through that lonely stage, coz it's god damn long transition. But sure I know that at the end of that tunnel is a crowd cheering for me.

[@sungoddess_]

You’re doing Gods work. Thank you for shining light where deep reflection and awareness can catapult us into change for ourselves that will benefit all those around us.

[@becca-dn4vs]

Please make a video on these topics, i love your perspective. How to heal desperation, How to take risks in life, how to handle online hate, How to get motivated by death

[@annikajohansson9171]

Yes, Matias channeled Anubis on his channel. That was a motivator to be reborn from death !

[@vdavi12]

For the first one, search a Teal Swan short called: the shadow of desperation. And then look up Teal Swan despair to find her video about that.

[@vdavi12]

Second one: Search Why it's dangerous to stay in your comfort zone and Fear is Good

[@vdavi12]

For the 3rd one search Teal Swan critisim for her video on that

[@vdavi12]

And the final one. Search the video, what to do if you're suicidal. She talks about making the decision to live in that video

[@nicholasblakiston6297]

I could have adapted in a sad attempt to gain approval as so many do but instead I am authentic and let the cards fall where they will. While this has resulted in social isolation and a lack of acceptance from others, at least I accept myself and know that if anyone else ever does, it will be the real me they accept and not a fascade.

[@GiGo421]

I’m always suspicious of this line of thinking. Ever meet someone who is an a$$hole but told you they were just being authentic? Being authentic is a self-reinforcing reason to never learn and grow because it means you believe you already know everything, already are everything you’ll ever be.

[@nicholasblakiston6297]

@@GiGo421 It's correct that authenticity sometimes means saying things people don't want to hear but it is possible to do this while also being willing to listen to what others have to say. Communication is a two-way street.

[@alex-ander-13]

@@GiGo421 Teal made a video on this - authenticity vs just being an a**hole. Check it out!

[@vinagerie427]

Crone at such an early age is such a phenom...and utterly lovely. Thank you, Miss Teal for sharing realities that go far beyond the usual constructs...you have become a true gem of Woman-kind. Blessings to Continuance.

[@elizabethneto5842]

Ty Teal another layer of myself revealed that I had no clue existed and the timing is divine intervention. I hope your realize how much you make a healthy difference in people's journey blessings❤

[@alexanderbivens6147]

This is really great stuff. It applies to successful people seeking to go to the next level as well: I have been wondering what is taking so long, now I see I am stuck in the patterns of my prior success. You are creating massive value for you audience, Teal. Thanks!

[@brunolima8506]

That wall color with your eyes is really something.

[@kelly.lauren]

I was like wow she really loves this teal background …. And then BAM it makes sense e

[@iceblockgamingLLC]

Yesssss Teal, I just talked about this same topic yesterday!😊

[@keithboyer3908]

Why adaptations are necessary, and how they control your life. Seemingly more descriptive and less designed to be stabby. I thank you for your service regardless of your motivations. You bring awareness and consideration to all.

[@carlorizzo827]

ThankU for the comment, please what does stabby mean

[@keithboyer3908]

@@carlorizzo827 stabby as in, deliberately inflammatory for the sake of invoking emotional reactions.

[@LisaSmith-yb2uz]

Adaptations was an intriguing film for many of the same reasons you are describing here ☺️👌❣️

[@NLTops]

The thing about self-defense mechanisms... is that people won't disarm them unless it is safe to do so. And "the universe" has already proven that it is not safe to do so, or they wouldn't have developed to begin with. If this is what I gotta be to save myself from suffering, then this is what I'll be. That doesn't mean I can't be anything else. I try to only use my defense mechanisms when I need to. When the situation hints at lurking dangers. To me, that's the cycle of life. You start out as a child, when your ignorance of the consequences of your choices allows you to explore the world without holding anything back. It's a specific and precious kind of bravery that fades as you get older, as you become aware of what outcomes certain choices lead to. It is easy to ignore dangers you're not aware of, yet impossible to ignore dangers you're aware of. You don't even have to think about it. You just feel it. I don't hate my defense mechanisms. They've saved my life, and my kindness. But I'm also cautious of them. I created them for a specific purpose, but they're also wired into me. They sometimes show up when I don't need them to. And I have to be cognizant of that. The solution is to never run on auto-pilot.

[@Ouranos369]

Just read James Clear Atomic Habits. You can wire yourself with more beneficial beliefs but it takes conscious effort. You attract who you are not what you want - mirror principal.

[@NLTops]

@@Ouranos369 A fly may attract other flies, but it also attracts spiders. So it will need to behave in a way that benefits it under both those premises. Also, kindly refrain from assuming you know what my beliefs are. You've read one post of mine on the specific topic of defense mechanisms.

[@Notavlogger817]

Adaptations (for me) have been reactions to situations leaving me a bit fearful to repeat the same mistakes again. Which in turn I believe may slow progression in getting what I want or deserve. It's like being afraid of diving into a dark body of water just because it's dark or not opening a door in fear of what's on the other side. Both hypothetical situations can lead to missed opportunities due to fear of getting hurt or just straight up getting it wrong. A catch 22 scenario

[@elizabethneto5842]

Couldn't have been acticulated better ty for putting words to my experience

[@useuseuse9939]

KEEP IT ON YOUR SELF

[@catherinekittykat]

Fantastic as always! I think your videos should be played on the prison walls for education to at least some of the damaged and captive audience to consider. Such valuable information with great examples. Everyone is so messed up from other humans and they abuse the poor vulnerableS (children and animals etc) also themselves. Such a sick reality. I SEE IT CLEARLY and I suffer horribly from that. Thank you, Teal for being a HELPER! Keep on keeping on!! 💯❤️

[@tigerscott2966]

Humans have to adapt to changing environments and circumstances or they will not survive... Nothing DOOMS you but You! It's your life... You decide how you are going to live it... Listening to others is fine, but YOU have To find what fits you, then BE you!

[@AstroSquid]

I would suspect that change is a very high form of love.

[@abrahammedhin5510]

Listen to the first 48 seconds again but witch! adapted with programmed.

[@klove8620]

I just came here to say I love you Teal

[@kostapapa1989]

That is why I rarely adapt to anything esp not to society which always seemed insane to me and after 2020 it was revealed that I was right !

[@Bri-xb8ud]

Beautiful, embrace that authentic self and blossom 🌸

[@hey_kay_away]

@kostapapa1989 I haven't been able to make sense of human motivation and behavior after COVID. I just don't want to get blindsided anymore, because I don't think like most people do. Any insight/observations you have?

[@greatman05_CCJR]

42! This is the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything! 🎉🎉🎉🚀🚀🚀🌌🌌🌌

[@joannebohan2243]

So relavent thank you

[@artifundio1]

Thank you Teal ❤

[@jessicajohnston5693]

30 year old female. I finally found some peace by moving into an apartment by myself and having a few good friends. I got away from a bad roommate and a controlling parent. I thought I would never have peace and I never imagined I would ever escape, even thought I focused on escaping ever since I was a little girl. I have a lot to understand and change in my thoughts because I feel like I don’t deserve this, that I am a burden to my friends, that people don’t actually like me they just want to use me, etc. But, I am so desperate for genuine connections that it is hard to tell who will be good to me. So, by finally finding peace I now don’t have to constantly fight to survive… Therefore, I am having a mental health crisis. I can’t afford a therapist at the moment. Life is better but also worse at the same time. Edit: Fixed grammar.

[@jessicajohnston5693]

This video is perfect because I am struggling with this right now. I want to know how to adjust to a life where I have healthy boundaries, meaningful relationships, can enjoy peace and don’t feel guilty for doing nice things for myself.

[@captainsuperbad09]

Relevant timing of topic 😳 thanks you 🙏

[@Bastet32]

Teal you are literal Gold. 🙏🏻🏆

[@scottychen2397]

Your law (which you describe in older videos e.g. the one on crystals) that entities can only occupy the same space if they are a vibrational match: Im doing the work to express this in the vocabulary of linear algebra. Its unknown to me exactly what relation this has to the ‘laws’ of quantum mechanics. For example, is it true? And exactly what this human - scale worldview you inhabit exists as on the scale of electrons and their vibratory events of interference - I dont know exactly what the relationship is. This is a fantastically integrous sense of reality you have

[@emanueladadarlat3159]

2:31 Being hyper-attuned to someone's mood in order to keep one's own self safe is NOT "letting go of predictability". Quite the opposite. It is the constant need to try to predict, which is perpetuated when living in an environment where you are always surprised and fearful of what comes next. Thus you try to predict as fast as possible what comes next, but again, that is NOT "letting go of predictability", which happens when one savours life and cannot be accessed when still living to survive and keep yourself safe.

[@hollyhuntington2913]

I gathered that letting go of predictability in that situation meant not being attached to plans or promises. For example, Dad says we are going to the movies today after school. Rather than feeling the excitement of looking forward to that experience, she goes to school and doesn't trust the movie night will ever happen because by the time school lets out, Dad could feel differently.

[@emanueladadarlat3159]

@@hollyhuntington2913 Yes. However that is an expectation to be lied to, not being devoid of expectation. Big energetic distinction.

[@stable-shadow]

I wrote a positive response and of course YT wiped it your writings are on path to perfection very good points all appreciated be well 🕊️

[@cherithr9139]

It’s a kind of hyper-vigilance

[@GentleEsther]

She did not say hyperatunement was always tied to a predictability wound. But it is undeniably one manifestation. It sounds like you’re describing the same thing but with additional flavor. You have a very specific definition of predictability and seem to have understood “letting go of predictability” (from those who are supposed to give her a predictable environment) as letting go of it whole hog. I don’t think a good faith listening would indicate that’s what Teal is saying. Expecting to be lied to and forgoing the ability to predict and rely on something based on another’s assurances necessitates that you have to try to be adaptable (and independent and controlling) because you will not be able to predict based on them because they are by definition largely unpredictable. Thats what I got from it (and agree with obv)

[@alex-ander-13]

Thank you!

[@hei318]

I feel strengthened by my adaptations

[@annikabirgittanordlander6887]

Someone asked: How do you identify subconscious adaptations? Love that question. Would love to hear some answers, comments on that. Thank you 🌎😘

[@sarahalderman3126]

Wow. I grew up abused, sexually, physically, violently, and emotionally... beginning sometime before preschool. I remember feeling like this little girl! I remember feeling like something was missing in most relationships. I was diagnosed with CPTSD in my early twenties, coinciding with my children's births, marriage, my husband cheating, and due to my maladaptive tendencies, I was violated sexually again. For so long I've lived in this state of terror and disgust. Fifty percent of the population was Evil, they terrified me. Especially my husband, yet he was also my only "relief" my only safe space. Ugh.

[@DaniGilbert]

That's a great video, thank you so much! ❤

[@VasacceSky]

“Patterns destroy the mind when not broken every 6 times” -Teal Swan

[@trixiedevine9592]

Girl yes thank you

[@rosettesionne9139]

I adapted in an environment where children weren't respected and treated literally as animals, they were beaten, shamed, Insulted, shouted at, when they showed emotions the adults didn't approve. They called it discipline, I rationalised this behavior as adults and thought that when someone made mistakes they deserves to be humiliated since it is like that I grew up, now my surroundings think I am crazy. People ask me to change but I don't know how to since it means going against my programming, how can people ask me to treat them in ways I was never treated.

[@sailyx3jupy]

So you get emotionally triggered when expected to treat humans with respect. That emotion is the perfect one to start your shadow work with. Instead of running away from that emotion, you need to process it throughout your entire body. Good luck.

[@shreeyasahu1731]

THIS is something I needed to hear for a long time🤍

[@MelissaHogwood]

Kyle is very relatable

[@Vinchinz]

I love you Teal

[@breathecarv]

Brilliant, thank you Teal

[@kevinschaaf2541]

I feel like the example of Jim was a critique to David Goggins😅

[@loredanacatalin5066]

Thank you!🤗🤗🙏🙏

[@benkenobi4937]

What happens when the person you're listening to all of a sudden is facing away from you. Huh? Feels weird right? No not away, just a 45 degree angle away. This is freaky.

[@hollyhuntington2913]

Hi. I'm Kyle. Everytime I exercise, I get a cold. It has happened so many times now that even considering that I will exercise tomorrow will cause me to wake up sick. I never put my full self into anything because it will never be good enough.

[@Anitralicious]

Do you specifically offer a course on how to understand your adaptations?

[@bdmenne]

I feel doomed by my adaptations

[@quietmountainwellness7916]

It’s never too late to make a positive change in your life. You are resilient! ❤

[@bdmenne]

@@quietmountainwellness7916 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻🫡

[@1128Missi]

You're not doomed. This is a very low vibrational word. Once you're conscious of your patterns, you can change them

[@Tnc874]

That little girl sounds like me and my mentally ill mother. Wow. This was definitely where I was at with my ex.

[@bruceprigge5212]

Thank you ! 😊

[@SandraGacic-zt1gf]

Support From Balkan !!!!!❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉!!!!!

[@balachdanish9963]

The ends justify the means. If you understand that karma repays AT THE END, then adapting to pain in the meantime, will get us peace and justice in the end. The innocent understand that the world is cruel to those who are kind and the cruel are in power. So this would be a form of consequentialism.

[@PTSPod]

Can't lie, this one is super hard to care about finishing.

[@JennaLuciferBlessings]

Wow this is really good

[@Now2Sense]

Love u teal ❤

[@filipszuster8030]

Is having an obsession about something always a choice, and can something seem like an obsession but, in fact, be a personal truth instead?

[@lydiavdkleij]

I know all this, but how to make the best choice knowing all this after this all? The distrust is sooo heavy,so howw?❤ I've been isolated for more than 1 year,because of al sorts of abusive. So How, I ask you, HOW???

[@jennifere.7205]

The real problem is that we stay in bad situations because we're so adaptive, rather than embrace change and venture out. People hate the unknown. The devil you know is better than the one you don't!

[@jak77lezgo]

Knowledge Bombz!

[@crct2004]

How do you identify subconscious adaptations?

[@industrialist2002]

These are the things one does automatically just to fit in with others. If you study yourself you'll find many things that you do over and over again.

[@CoachStephenDredd]

Great but how do you change those adaptations?

[@DaAxiomatic]

The examples Teal gave have one simple (but not easy) solution: Those she was talking about must *adapt* to develop the kind of life they want to live. But the way Teal talks about adaptations sounds like she associates them with habits and patterns she considers unhealthy and bad.

[@bellaluna2220]

I can’t even begin to unpack all my maladjusted adaptations lol

[@moe583]

How do you change the adaptive patterns.

[@carlorizzo827]

Adaptive patterns proved so intractable. Change is so slow. Discouraged here

[@user-cw4zj6kc8u]

Any advice for a man who has spent his youth protecting his mother and sister from his father's rage, control, and pride? As well as suppressing ones sexual nature do to purity culture and woke culture that hates men for thinking women are pretty and wanting to be in love and make love?

[@iMikkeysat]

We are so fu*ked

[@emanueladadarlat3159]

There is a big misconception in this content. (1) There is this brilliant capacity people have to shapeshift energetically from their interaction with different other energies around them. That's why humans are ever-shifting, which gives them potential to be an endless stream of fascination. (2) However, there is this other mechanism people have developed out of fear, to adapt to what it is required of them in order to stay safe. . They are batched together within this video as "adaptability", ye the two are completely distinct. (1) is Authentic, thus potent interaction with one's environment, while (2) is a form of developing dysfunctional patterns and living in (sometime unconscious) fear.

[@Shekrizy]

HA Always right on time with the theme

[@ASageWit]

Also IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY TO BE AN ASS sometimes especially if you can take accountability for it. Not responsibility, accountability. Yes that happened, yes I acted like an ass. Tah-dah

[@GingerKral]

🩷 Thank you

[@Dequa21]

Not only to simply change from being a caterpillar into a butterfly. Does a butterfly remember when it was a caterpillar? Or does it naturally and environmentally adapt and integrate such characteristics with wings? Reasons why I love the ants movie or a bug's life...Pixar really had it figured out when those movies were trying to teach us children closeness in a separated home. In my case having no true connection to my roots being told I am a Italian when in fact I am a scandanavian Irishman with French Canadian heritage. So, if one can grow upon a new awareness and not disowning these aspects of us. It's very viking of me to not want to let go of something that I hold near and dear to my core belief system. Although these labels and titles are not me. Growing up in a divided home. Simple things don't come simple for complex happenings. Like how clans with viking cultures fought because that's all they knew beyond the music, celebration, ale and dancing around sacrificial narratives. While I think it's about others understanding and accepting us as who we know our selves out to be...if I say I am a wold then I am a wolf. It's not the others job to tell me I am not. But understand where I am coming from. 😊

[@paulden3158]

Let us go to the East and explore the vajra's qlipphoth. Its all very metaphysiospiritual, goes beyond Light and Dark.

[@Vinchinz]

❤ congrats

[@catherinealraei8576]

Love you❤

[@SUPERGreatfulForGOD]

That Smile 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍.

[@waykee3]

What do you expect me to do then at that moment that I was in?

[@Morale_Booster]

I was wondering during this video if other species also have this problem? I'm thinking about ptsd and how it can trap us in the fear response. Because we are so close with dogs we can observe their healing journey through ptsd too. Do animals in nature also deal with this conundrum?

[@IhanaHana]

Yea. The opossums got it the worst.

[@IhanaHana]

Yea. The opossums got it the worst

[@lutfiyesari9240]

Türkçe çeviri olabilir mi❤

[@janetvanantwerp8899]

How can someone know if they are changing their adaptations?

[@9me9a92]

Nobody looks like the young Megan Fox like she does❤

[@Anastasia-oy2zp]

My father was in the military abs bis I know why he never showed any affection towards me

[@1128Missi]

She said the word ""doom" a lot. We are never "doomed" because once we wake up to our programming, we have choice

[@Domozorro]

4:26

[@Przepoczwarzenie]

So... Are authistic people have difficulties with adaptation?

[@sherlinefenelon818]

Sinds I was kid I hate this words adaptation my grandfather did want me to adapt om his church way

[@peteduch2151]

I have to adapt considering i have to live with the primitive species some hate the truth and only want to talk to people who agree with everything they say for example teal she is almost a superior being but didn,t make the cut

[@carlykit2975]

I'm Kyle and Kyle me,,😥

[@Hobrecht]

Play time

[@Egle3]

💗

[@sarahalderman3126]

Hmm. So basically this describes complex trauma and the development of personality disorders.

[@Andrea-Rose]

💛💛💛

[@loredanacatalin5066]

🙏🙏❤️❤️

[@hironkrishitv8191]

Charlie red your face sem to sem❤

[@bAa-xj3ut]

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍