How Your Unhealed Trauma Affects Your Relationships

[@YumiTsui]

What kind of trauma do you bring into your relationships?

[@Psych2go]

For me its mainly the fear or trusting

[@blajiamansour3411]

I'm broke person

[@astalavista5328]

I find it quite hard in relationship's romantically to trust anyone but I'm dating now and with the most amazing person who get my trauma

[@Smartpeoplearehot]

Difficultly setting clear boundaries for me Just last week when i was visting my friends i ended up paying for the snacks we got and buying one of my friends earbuds and a newer friend a giftcard

[@hkajsdfhkdfsidfjsdlkfjsd7557]

i dont have a relationship 💀

[@Riddickisawesome101]

I’m an adaptive child to a T. My father and stepmother were very emotionally abusive, and I would yell back to defend myself, but it led to me continuing it as an adult, using anger to express my needs and having trouble putting up boundaries because my parents never respected my boundaries, such as barging in my door, reading my diary, deciding many major aspects of my life for me instead of allowing me to do that myself. I’m very fortunate to have a partner who loves and understands me as I am, but she doesn’t deserve for me to be angry at her because she tries as hard as she possibly can to make me happy. Like in the video, I also have trust issues because my parents and extended family turned their backs on me, so I feel like everyone who says they love me will betray me. Part of me is scared to put all my trust in my partner, but she asked if I could try to take her word more often. I love her and want to. We’ve been together for over a year, and she hasn’t lied to me yet, so I will put my trust in her. Instead of reacting with anger, I’m learning to take deep breaths instead in the moment or finding personal space to decompress

[@Prod_by_proto]

Soooo.... adap? /j

[@DeRez19]

You found a VERY good partner amongst all of that nonsense. I feel bad yet happy for you! Keep up the grind 👑

[@kadag10]

Good work you 2!

[@amberstiefel9748]

I'm sorry your family environment wasn't more supportive of growth. It sounds like your partner really cares about you. Having someone to encourage you along a path that is mutually healing seems like the ideal dynamic for difficult and deeply engrained patterns of emotional and behavioral reactivity. I am not a therapist but I think that since we cannot get rid of our past the best approach is to face it in the company of people that have demonstrated that they are trustworthy.

[@urbainchic3975]

Fear, depression, and trauma are loyal friends to each other. The traumatic memory causes us to collapse psychologically, so we fear for what is to come. So... the past kills the present to stain the future with its blood

[@kenrickbautista6141]

I never once been in a real relationship, but I have suffered a lot of wounds.

[@Wissalune]

Same

[@Psych2go]

What are some of the biggest wounds you been through?

[@kenrickbautista6141]

@@Psych2go more psychological than physical. Let's just say words (and actions) hurt.

[@rohan5431]

@@Psych2go death of my father .

[@demonfox132]

Same. In my case it was constand bullying where no one, not even teachers, were really helping. I turn my sadness into aggression and never let my gard down, wich is probably the reason I never was in a realytionship.

[@r.p.7174]

The more people I talk to, the more I realise how much my mom projected so much of her childhood trauma onto me. It affects my behavior in ways I'm only now beginning to realize as an adult. I consistantly find myself asking "wait, your mom DOESN'T do that?" As a kid, she had one alcoholic parent, two abusive parents, and was always treated as the odd one out, being given less attention or importance than her siblings. The constant comparisons to her siblings continued into adulthood. I think she'd be better off if she got therapy, but she refuses to acknowledge she has a problem in the first place. Any time her unrealistic standards or occasionally toxic behavior (likely stemming from her rough childhood) is brought up, she takes it VERY personally. Instesd of taking criticism, she'll bury her head in the sand and say "why are you saying these horrible things about me?" or "you're being VERY disrepectful right now!" as if that invalidates any of what I'm saying. I'm 23 and I don't know ANYONE who behaves in some of the concerning ways she does. A recent argument ended with me trying to calmly explain the problem with her behavior to her while she screamed at me to shut up. Yeah...I'm DEFINITELY getting therapy once I move away from home so I don't end up like her. She doesn't know it, but she consistantly pushes her childhood trauma onto everyone around her. Edit: I also have a tendency to get defensive. I keep expecting people to overreact to things like my mom does, so I always have trouble trusting people to not be judgemental. Once I realize the other person is not going to ignore my opinions, or confuse me sharing my opinions for an attack on theirs, I always have a moment of confusion. "Wait, you're actually going to listen to what I have to say, AND take it seriously? Even if it doesn't perfectly align with your opinion? People can do that"? I always find myself bouncing back and fourth between this defensiveness, and the sigh of relief that follows. People have said I always seem nervous at first, and a little too eager to please. Even my mom has said I need to curb my tendency to constantly apologise for everything. Ironic, given I believe the behaviour originated as a defense mechanism against her in the first place.

[@EridianBlue]

I feel like i just read a description of my own mom, except for the alcoholic or abusive parents (i think she might have been emotionnally abused by grandparents or aunts). She plainly refuses to acknowledge that her behavior is not normal. I thought I was the abnormal one for years for thinking she was wrong in her doings.

[@azzyfreeman]

What do you do to overcome some of the challenges you face

[@r.p.7174]

​@@azzyfreeman One thing I find helpful is talking to others. Not necessarily about the problems with my mom, just in general. It reminds me that I don't have to be defensive around everyone and that her behaviour is not the norm. I think making a concentrated effort to remind myself of this fact helps me to behave less as the "adaptive child" and more as the "functioning adult" Unfortunately, my only option at home is to just take the microagressions. I try not to be too offended by them, reminding myself that they're usually the result of the "wounded child" or the "adaptive child" as seen here. If I'm in a situation where she won't behave as a functioning adult, that doesn't mean I should let myself be dragged down to her level.

[@theladycrisis]

as i read about your mother's childhood, i felt like i read a description of my dad's, except that the abuse was from both his dad and stepdad, and his stepdad was the alcoholic. it's terrible how parents that have childhood trauma refuse fo get help and project it onto their child instead.

[@queasyweasel]

"I think she'd be better off if she got therapy, but she refuses to acknowledge she has a problem in the first place." Oof all three of my parents 💀 Low key anyone from that generation too

[@A55a551n]

Timestamps 1). The wounded child 1:00 2). The adaptive child 1:44 3). The functional adult 2:25 1). Difficulty trusting others 3:06 2). The need for perfection 3:34 3). Trouble communicating or expressing needs 4:14 4). Difficulty setting clear boundaries 4:44 5). No desire to connect or bond with others 5:13 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for including the timestamps

[@A55a551n]

​@@Psych2go not a problem happy to help

[@Catseye189]

Thank you!

[@tessagracechase1808]

thank you!

[@niasiamack9333]

I can relate to all of this

[@relmatheresebalite9230]

I am a wounded child until recently. I found out that I was always shutting down and trying to avoid conflict with my Husband. For traumas it has always been number 3 and 4. I’m glad that my husband and I have talked about it properly and we both are on the stages of healing our traumas. Hope everyone is too.

[@maart9328]

I did and am still doing all the mentioned results for those who have unhealed trauma. Hoping for everyone who had it to find themselves loved and completely healed. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@debbyt.5205]

Can we talk about when people actually leave you? When it's them and not you? I've always been introverted and had a hard time making genuine friendships but when I did find "my people", our friendship lasted for (surprisingly) five months. I left because they showed me that I don't really matter to them (or that's what my brain made me believe). There were moments I felt like they don't really like me. Again, it was the voices but those people also showed me, in their way, that they don't care. Unread messages, ignoring me in my face etc. Idk.

[@Caspiantheimp]

I'm the same way, in my experience as an introvert everyone leaves when things get hard. Now I everyone hates me or wants to take advantage of me like they did before. I have 1 friend who I refuse to talk to at school due to the abandonment issues.

[@immoralcompass786]

This has been so enlightening in understanding more about myself and why I behave the way I do.

[@Smartpeoplearehot]

Here's the timestamps :D *The Three Parts of You* 1:00 1. Wounded Child 1:45 2. Adaptive Child 2:26 3. Functional Adult *How Unhealed Traumas Create Negative Patterns in Relationships* 3:06 1. Difficulty Trusting Others 3:34 2. The Need For "Perfection" 4:17 3. Trouble Communicating or Expressing Needs 4:43 4. Difficultly Setting Clear Boundaries 5:14 5. No Desire to Connect or Bond with Others I finally was early enough to do these 😎✌

[@Psych2go]

Why do you think its so hard to trust people?

[@Pen2Paper749]

Cause of our defense mechanism and their behaviour

[@Yukiyusitzmeh]

Thx! :D

[@Grimmy9938]

@@Psych2go because if someone broke your trust in the past you always have that fear that I will happen again but from the people you trust the most, at least that’s how I feel 😞

[@pink_sky_morning4842]

@@Grimmy9938 this is so true though,, i believe that’s where my trust issues stem from

[@Ominous89]

I've had 2 adolescent episodes. The first one was a broken home, a difficult childhood, and a relationship that got ended by blackmail and betrayal later on. The second episode was the 13 years of depression that followed. This video sums it all up pretty good. I'm 34 years, and I've only been somewhat adult for the past 2 years in a happy new home, after homelessness. Homelessness only resulted in growing up fast, liberation, a serious mental clean up, and a place where I can grow old. But also, I'd like to add some more unhealthy patterns that include this topic; -Poor hygiene, mentally an physically. For years my former home was total mess wich resulted in a stinky nightmare and mice waking me up in bed. For me the poor hygiene resulted in ruined teeth because I didn't brush my teeth properly and never visited a dentist out of shame for crooked teeth. Really, take care for your teeth twice a day with an electric brush, and do your dentist a pleasure to keep your teeth in check with their help! -Drugs and alcohol. I started smoking weed because my mother would regularly trigger me to prove her point, up to the moment I almost attacked her. I still use it minimally to feel better and have a pause of an angry mind. In my second adolescent episode I also developed a drinking habit of a minimum of 2,5 liters beer each day. Result? I don't have friends anymore. Because I had an angry drunk and didn't even remember getting angry at them. I'm glad I stopped alcohol. -Debts. You don't learn to look after yourself in a crappy childhood, physically, mentally and financially. No matter how much your parents tell you that 'you are growing up', while you're only growing bitter and sour. For me, after years of wasting money, it ultimately resulted in homelessness and now a livable budget in a debt restructuring program for the next upcoming years. Having seen how my mother 'dealt' with her debts: sweep it under the rug, unopened letters from plaintiffs were hidden everywhere, warrants from dept collectors etc. Ditch the dysfunctional kid on the streets then leave the country, never to return. What do you expect when you are raised in neglectance and absence of simple common sense. To any other reader than Psych2Go, I can only hope to wake you up with this display of my shortcomings, imperfections and unhealthy patterns.

[@blazingangel3660]

Thank you so much for sharing

[@Ominous89]

@@blazingangel3660 don't thank me. Just don't become ominous and waste your life, like I did.

[@jaybee4288]

I relate much to this, especially the teeth and the debt. Also the rubbish home and the alcohol and falling out with friends and not remembering why. Luckily I haven’t had people treat me bad as an adult, but sadly I’ve hurt everyone I cared about in some way or another. I’m glad you have a home and sort out your teeth! ☺️ I still struggle sometimes with the brushing, usually I am once a day at least and my dentist like me better now but still tells me off 😂 We have absolutely wasted life, but only some of it. I wish you so much happiness.

[@Ominous89]

@@jaybee4288 everybody deserves self compassion and to love the one you're looking at in the mirror the most. Becoming your own best friend. Also reconnecting with my inner child, becoming his new substitute parent/best friend appeared to be essential in my own new healthier development. I'm basically trying to get used to the better times, way less adversity, a social/financial/mental/physical clean slate. And act like it! Don't stop. Because I'm worth it. You're also worth it! That why I'm sad about pieces of teeth falling out right now. I've had the same issues like you with brushing and keeping it up. Now that I'm doing better but still the pieces of teeth are falling out is a just major setback, because I've been brushing better and better ever since homelessness. I've even upgraded to electrical brushing. I almost like brushing my teeth again. The first time I used it I brushed for half an hour with real results. Most dentists say you have to brush twice a day for 2 mins at minimum. If I'm lacking one time, I'm making it up by brushing one time for 5 minutes. Next step; mouthwash. Also, eating and drinking less sugar. Despite it's all too little, too late. The body keeps the score like this. So it was time to call for some help and take care for myself. Better late than never.

[@crazfamily6931]

This makes me look at myself in what my childhood is like. And I'll add one more -refusal to be interact with people I absolutely just didn't go hang out with people because I never was pushed to do it much. When I was I young I admit looking back I was slightly annoying. But in turn that cause people to not want to become friends with me as a person and left me with little options to interact with others. Throw in 100's of events that get canceled for some stupid reason over the years and you can start to see why the kid is essentially a hermit suffering from extreme loneliness and struggles to communicate sometimes. I say this as it basically sums up my friend story for most of my childhood. Try not to waste your life being alone, if people seem to find you annoying ask about it. Don't just get defensive and double down on the annoying side of you. It goes a long way as I got to make up learning how to properly communicate. Doesn't help that I still don't understand my own generation's culture 60% of the time.

[@kyaralugo6287]

I love you guys so much I’ve been watching you guys for about 1 1/2 years know you guys always help me understand and give me a different prospective thank y’all for doing what you do ❤

[@fredrick-jr1qi]

They’ve also given me a broader perspective on the world too as well as people and now I don’t feel so alone all the time either which is nice

[@Psych2go]

Thank you so much for staying with us for that long! What do you enjoy the most about our content?

[@Galatorm]

I will not talk about my past (again) as I've done so enough in the past, and at this point it would only serves to fill a "pity gauge" I don't need anymore. But I will say that your channel is very helpful, and that I've never met anyone that wouldn't benifit from watching at least one of your video. Please keep up this good work. Not everyone that you help say it out loud.

[@xav9156]

I cannot allow my self to get hurt again. Arguments were not allowed with my parents. My boundaries were disregarded. Avoid closeness with others to protect myself.

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing your personal experience with us. We sincerely hope that you can open yourself up to others and feel close to people again. In your opinion, what do you think is the main reason why you would prefer to protect yourself by avoiding closeness than to form relationships with others?

[@xav9156]

@@Psych2go Thanks for reaching out. In my opinion I choose to isolate because; I am a people pleaser, a doormat without boundaries, I cannot advocate for myself, I have a tough time saying no, I have unrealistic expectations in a relationship and live a life in limerence, I freeze and I fawn. When I interact with others; I feel that I have to perform, It is exhausting. I felt very much at peace during the pandemic...Regards X

[@funnytv-1631]

Have you ever seen an overgrown plant with its branches growing wild? the reason you begin with just one habit is to fortify your center first. Thicken your trunk to build the strongest foundation possible. After solidifying one habit, you do not suddenly branch out in dozens. No. You choose only one more to add. Nourish it. Be patient, no matter how long it takes. You are choosing the direction of how you will grow. You are sculpting the limbs of your tree. And it is beautiful.

[@erikawithee]

I was psychologically abused so badly as a child and adult Now healing from the trauma that has been done to me and my son we are getting help with the trauma of his father

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing something so personal with us. How are you doing now? Are you and your son finding the healing that you both need? What do you think has been the most helpful during this healing process?

[@ATLAS-_-.]

2:48 broke me😞, after so many times getting mentally attacked and parents fighting constantly I detached myself, I stuck that little child into the deepest and safest Cavern, of my mind and a Sea of barriers and I swore that my soul shall break before that little child ever gets hurt again, I became a loner and became stronger to protect it, my youngest sister says I need therapy, but I refuse to lower a barrier to anyone especially a stranger, I'm terrified to think I may have to let myself through the barriers and not necessarily letgo but confront the child, and I'm afraid of what the result might be.

[@oliviaaziz6388]

I just realized that I’ve let 3 parts living my life that act like the 3 parts you mentioned sometimes. I call it rational brain, (functional adult) irrational brain, (adaptive child) and unwanted thoughts (wounded child). I think these are extensions of the 3 parts (in my mind) since I’ve already looked at the three, and the 3 I’m talking about are representing them in different ways. I also have 3 parts I think of when I think of my brain. Rational, irrational, and the last part that’s confused about everything but wants to help anyone.

[@diversejoe617]

*This is a much needed video for avoidants*

[@TheNevendero]

Hello, stranger. We have the same avatar style. I wish you a very pleasant weekend, because your sense of style deserves it. If you ever want to get married just let me know.

[@diversejoe617]

@@TheNevendero Well I am flattered, tho I'm not an accident myself, I do know some personally(I'm a secure) and I'm a guy(assuming your a woman) but I'd be interested in your offer.

[@TheNevendero]

@@diversejoe617 Okay, marriage is overrated anyway. Let's just grab some beers and talk about how we love blue-flamed letters so much.

[@diversejoe617]

@@TheNevendero Ok, are you a guy or lady btw?

[@jjaa_joyjoyartist]

The art in this video is really all out! I keep having to rewind to actually listen instead of getting caught up in the animation

[@Yashuop]

Raise your hand if you've been watching Psych2Go for a long time🤚

[@kissboy_nom]

I’m raising my hand

[@PurpleComrad]

Long time man 🤚🏻

[@MugwumptheGrand]

I started out as adaptive, but my parents would aim for the jugular when I gave back to them what they gave to me with threats like destroying things I owned or cherished (like donating my favorite toys to charity while I was still using them), or threatening to make me (a tween at the first time) homeless because it was "their house." This caused me to "adapt" by becoming a wounded child due to the price of fighting back being too high, so I just curled up silently in my corner. It wasn't until my 30's and after several failed relationships that I was able to start being a functional adult. Even though I'm doing my best to be functional, it still feels like I can only be functional after the wounded child has hid in the corner for a minute or two when something upsets me. At least I can stop myself from saying something hurtful until I've gotten the steering wheel back. I definitely resonate with all five of the symptoms. I've worked hard on trusting, communicating and setting boundaries, but this video has opened my eyes about how perfectionism manifests itself. Now I realize that it's been haunting me every day of my life for decades as a strong urge to wait for the right time to do something aka procrastination. I'd just accepted it without making the connection that it was based from childhood trauma. I've also struggled with overcoming my lack of desire to connect or bond with others, especially when it comes to making the effort to remain in contact with friends and family.

[@beneficent2557]

Procrastination is not apathy, it's a manifestation of your subconscious fears.

[@aisha_-.]

I was thinking, you should really do a podcast about healing, self improvement, peer pressure, or whatever you want. I would definitely listen to it, you are really good at making points and being clear about different topics, and your voice is also really calming :D

[@RiptideFlash]

The fact that I have trust issues and no desire to bond that I heard in this video, seems to tell something about me Ig, but I can't remember what made me be the way I am as of currently.

[@DarkS1ayer100]

I know the feeling all too well, myself. Though I am not a Doctor, I am someone who relates to this video massively (dealt with alot of abuse, neglect and had a just terrible upbringing) I would advise asking yourself by looking in a mirror, or even just getting a piece of paper and something to write with, and just asking that part of yourself about those issues. See what unfolds. You do have to want those answers though. I don't know if that will help you, but it certainly helped me when I wanted answers. Nobody knows you, better than you, after all.

[@RiptideFlash]

@@DarkS1ayer100 true

[@phantomchef2217]

The last one hit home. I have yet to have any desire to meet anyone or do anything new that would be a breath of fresh air. I feel that my life is toxic down to my blood (really horrible family). Thanks for the video.

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing your personal experience with us. Could you tell us a bit more about how the last point was very relatable for you? Do you feel like you don't really have the desire to connect or bond with others due to your personal experience?

[@phantomchef2217]

@Psych2Go cause I love your channel so much, sure. I've lost the desire to connect or bond with anyone else. I've had more than a fair share of betrayals, abuse from people I trusted and if I had to put myself in a spot between the wounded child, the active (I think it was active) and the functional adult I'm working my way towards being the functional adult while wearing the mask of "I'm okay and there's nothing wrong". Meeting new people feels like a chore and while I don't lie to people (cause it's too much work 😅) but I keep my guard up reactively and wanting to meet someone new just to talk to feels like I'd be streaking. The few people I trust these days have really helped keep me together but I sometimes feel they keep me together because I keep them together. The best analogy I have is being the tree or mountainside that holds the homes of its people. Tree falls or the mountain has a slide and everything else fails. So I feel a lot more times than I'd like to admit that I don't really have someone who could fit my shoes or I could lean on without feeling at least a bit used.

[@The_Sonic_FR_23]

Well, I would say that those three parts are running my life some at a time, but I think the one who runs it most is the wounded child part. As a child in a family who does not care about the emotional field at all, and just want their child to grow up and accept that the world sucks and that no one is ever really gonna care for you "like they do", I do not really think I have much of a possibility to get help. I honestly cannot tell anymore which parts of my life got me my traumas, because everything is a foggy mess out of trying to forget. Trust difficulties, trouble expressing, and no desire of bonds are the most prevalent, the need for perfection also exists, as my father demands perfection even thought he himself does not realize it, but that is only for myself, not towards others in my life. I really want to keep the love of my life forever, but the feeling of never being enough never leaves me, because I was branded a failure and nothing more.

[@flaviendarre742]

I grew up with a neglective father who did'nt gave me the tools to be confortable about being vulnerable and for whom i've never been enough, i feel that shit in my guts man

[@The_Sonic_FR_23]

@@flaviendarre742 Eh man... I understand, and I'm sorry.

[@nanaman]

The saddest part of the whole emotional damage situation is that it takes a person to help undo the damage done by the person/people who have damaged you! Ergo the cycle of the damaged people continues, due to isolation; distrust and not putting ourselves first.

[@Smartpeoplearehot]

Wounded Children Rise 😔✊

[@Psych2go]

What advice would you give someone who has trauma?

[@jolie6728]

All I have to do is watch one of your videos and your voice simply calms my panic attacks. Also I’ve found so many of your ideas helpful I appreciate you so much

[@Syco108]

Definitely felt a few of those. Thank you for continuing to make these wonderful helpful videos.

[@ashzyx]

The fact that I can relate to most of the video. :) Trigger warning? When I was younger, my dad wouldn't know how to handle my emotions so he would inflict fear on me to make me not really express my emotions that much, he would also traumatize me by doing certain things (not sexually.) But now he's trying and has stopped most of those actions. But sometimes he does remind me of how he used to act towards me. Anyways, amazing video again, like always Psych2go!!! ❤❤❤

[@beneficent2557]

I am sorry that happened to you. No father should leverage fear as a form of control. I have a theory about your Dad. He probably lost control of something important in his youth, so he had to resort to intimidation and leverage to reorient himself. I know, because I went through something similar when I was younger. However, I would never use it against a kid. If he is like me, just remember that his behavior is motivated by fear. We all are motivated by our fears at the end of the day.

[@beneficent2557]

Fight or Flight can save you and destroy you at the same time. As a man, we are evaluated by our ability to fulfill a role. The most dangerous thing about relationships for a man is to become emotionally compromised.

[@ashzyx]

@@beneficent2557 i remember that my grandma once told be that my grandpa left when my dad was younger, so I'm sure that could be why he acts like that sometimes.

[@ashzyx]

@@beneficent2557 that's true. Fight or flight is scary af

[@supermegaawesomeultragal7820]

Wow.. I really relate to 3, 4 and 5. I didn't even realize these behaviors/ beliefs had anything to do with trauma. But the correlation is clearly accurate.

[@VikiSLevine]

I was a social butterfly once. Ready to make friends with anyone and be nice. High School messed me up. Bunch o' morons messed me up. Bullies. I can't not hate them for they've done to me. There's some barrier that I'm unable to push against to make friendships again or build healthy relationships with anyone again. It's almost impossible. Like I can't push through the barrier. Something involuntarily holds me back. Due to this, I have trouble trusting others most of the time. I have the need to be perfect not because of how it was put in this video but in a different way. My parents and caretakers were too nice to me saying "it's okay! It's alright" for every mistake I did in the past. Even for the biggest ones. As I grew up, I realized the severity of some bad actions that my parents and elders responded to in the same way. I figured they were pampering me too much and I should be perfect and actually try to be good myself as much as possible. Not take mistakes lightly and severely punish myself if I had to. Setting clear boundaries is another thing I have that's a problem. I'm too nice sometimes. Sometimes it's a gift, sometimes it's a curse. My trouble trusting caused me to put me in a mindset where "I have don't have to connect or bonds with others." or "I don't want to". The above point also contributes to that cuz I feel people will walk over me if I trust them and offer them help. But it's whatever. I'll get there eventually. This video really did help relate and I'm sure it can help a lot of people relate too. I've seen and watched many of your videos but this one, I can relate to a lot. Keep up the good work

[@Aavazandum]

Ah finally something to make this day better

[@mojo_joju]

My parents did the best job raising me that they could, but i also inherited all their demons. Their traumas became my traumas, and it messed me up as a kid and well into adulthood. I wish I could say things get better, but honestly, the pain never goes away. You just learn to get better at living with it.

[@DeRez19]

What lead to my trauma was the result of many factors. Fake friends/dates leaving me in the dust out of nowhere gave me some bad trust issues. Many people blame for absolutely everything bad that happens. A lot of scolding I get is because of bad events I couldn't prevent, which makes me feel guilty. I get compared to others a lot, which lead to me comparing myself to others as confirmation "I suck." I have transformed into a people pleaser. I do everything for people, and I have a very hard time saying no. I was so conditioned by the "if you say no, you're cruel/lame/boring" stigma, and now I work way too hard for people who do almost nothing for me, hoping they'd like me in the future. Of course it never works. Romantic relationships? I may never bother with those, again. Women don't like me. My voice is horribly high-pitched for a dude near his dang 20s. I have clothing styles I like, but they aren't attractive, I guess. No girl genuinely said I looked good, besides one (who ended up showing plastic love). Every other girl either says something mean to me, doesn't bother with me, or instantly friend zones me. Before you "sigma folk" come at me, yes I HAVE BEEN CONFIDENT. YES I HAVE WORKED OUT. YES I HAVE A JOB. YES I HAVE A NICE CAR. IT DOESN'T FLIPPING WORK UNLESS YOU ARE TALL AND HANDSOME. Stop lying to me, bruh. Ok I'm done ranting. My life is still not that much better. I'm hoping for some change but it'll never come, man.

[@beagrothus7916]

That sounds bad i hope you will get better.

[@DeRez19]

@@beagrothus7916 Thank you. I think I can become better as a person, but I doubt I will go any further because of it.

[@csc8697]

Keep those friendships going. It can lead to more networking. You can meet friends of friends, perhaps finding someone.

[@csc8697]

You are only 20, I'm 60 & just started fixing myself. It's great you have free KZbin psychology! I wish it was around when I was 20.

[@corpse7333]

Everything happened to me and I can't even ask for help because people will think I'm crazy because I'm bipolar and anorexic too. So I've always had to hide forever and have no discussion with my mother or anyone because they don't understand or listen to what I say. It's just that...... It's not for me. The world is not my place

[@ihateflaky12]

my brain tells me there's no point in socializing, and my heart tells me I have to socialize or else I won't survive 🤣

[@andreidobre1239]

This video, like many of your other videos is what I will to use for not the present, but as a plan for the future ahead. For the future is unpredictable, and so is the present we live in.

[@Psych2go]

Well said. We're so glad that you're planning to use our content for your future. Could you tell us which video you are planning to use for the future? Which of our videos were the most helpful for you?

[@andreidobre1239]

@@Psych2go Thank you for asking. I would like to start with the videos regarding love and relationships, for I plan on having a girlfriend in the future. I do not know if this will happen or not, but this is just in case fate is kind with me. Then we have your videos involving parenthood, for I am having a shifting relationship with my parents, and I prefer to see other sources than make up my own. This gets us to mental disorders, where I want to see if I have the mental disorders I think I have (again, better I find out from a good source than make up my own). Last but not least, I watch your videos about autism, since I have vrem diagnosed as such by my school. I am skeptical about the idea, so I look online and watch your videos to see if I do or not have it (since again, I do not want to say I do or dont have it without looking at good sources), because in case I do, I would like to find ways to treat it. This is all I have to say, and again, thanks for asking.

[@andreidobre1239]

@@Psych2go For the videos that helped me. 1st video: “These Habits are Keeping You Lazy”. I struggle with homework, so I looked at this video so I can see how I can counter the effects of the very thing making it hard to do my homework, laziness. 2nd video: “8 Signs You’re NOT An Introvert, But A Shy Extrovert”. I started to know more about my social skill through this video. 3rd: “8 Toxic Things Parents Say To Their Children”. I became more open to talking to my parents about the toxic things they said to me. It is beginning to work. Last but not least, 4th: “7 Behaviours That Ruin Your Life”. I unfortunately continue to do many of the behaviours, but I am beginning to lower their usage.

[@Moraenil]

All of this is me to the point I felt like a bobblehead nodding so much my head was about to fall off. Some of the things were even more literal in my life. "That's not good enough." "That needs to be better." "You can do better." "Doing anything for yourself is selfish." "I don't care if you're in pain, you WILL bake something for your neighbors." "Your purpose in life is to do for others, not yourself." I heard all of this growing up on top of the feelings that just came from the treatment as well. I have to be perfect at everything I do, by their standards, and I am not worthy of anything (love, a comfortable place to sit or sleep, any possessions, etc.). And trusting people? Yeah, no. I learned so early in life not to trust anyone, I don't even trust myself. The 3 types are all alive in me. They just come out at different times. Wounded when dealing with my family and often when alone and thinking about it all. Adaptive with my one friend and when I was in classes. Functional when I'm troubleshooting something. Most of the time I think I'm in adaptive mode. I find adulting far too difficult and draining.

[@Everinny]

You are describing me not from parent trauma but other people in my childhood

[@vabakaart]

Amazing how you can always post the answer exactly after a problem showed up

[@Psych2go]

We're so glad that our videos were able to help you with what you were going through! What did you find helpful about the video?

[@choieun-ha]

This channel is therapy for me ❤ thank u so much 💜

[@missmelissaleah]

Nice video . voice is so soothing to listen to. Everything you said makes perfect sense. I struggle with a lot of this.

[@Psych2go]

We are happy to hear that! How are you currently feeling?

[@flaviendarre742]

I feel like talking today, seeing this much empathy in the comments makes me confortable with doing it, and this video comes at a time where i realized i needed someone to hold my hand to go through a relationship because of the different schemes i have been gifted from my parents and life in general. I met this girl at work, older than me, a real sunshine, me ? A wallflower, i don't go towards people in general, she made that move. I didn't fully heal from my previous adventure with a girl that felt like we were sharing the same traumas, it ended violently because she was so scared to get hurt when i unfortunately got on that path because i was scared too, but i was aware of it, and trying to figure it out, she just didn't want to understand that if we loved each other we would have to listen carefully, i still miss her so much even though i understood a lot of things i didn't want to hear in the past, i made mistakes but i learned a lesson, and i want to thank her for that even though she will never read this. I chose to be alone since that to figure how i could overcome what stops me from loving and be loved. The work girl came naturally and we clicked without forcing it since i wasn't searching for anything. There was too much obstacles to take it seriously, that didn't stop me from catching a little bit more feelings than i should, she did too. We had an argument yesterday about the fact that i get scared, i talked to her about my reassurance need and that she would have to hold my hands like she did to know me if she wanted it to be, she explained that considering the death of her last boyfriend/burnout from work and all she needs someone confident about this, and that felt like an answer, the one that i didn't got with the other girl. Eventually someone will, i hope so, cause i want it, and i do my best to be honest about me and my needs. Healing is a matter of time and will, i hope whoever is coping with something like that in his dating life feels it's not impossible cause i don't

[@DapperArtImagery]

I felt I was all 3 wounded, adaptive child and functional adult on my last relationship. I definitely had unresolved childhood trauma that negatively impacted and destroyed the relationship. Noticing a pattern of behavior, I got therapy and began to understand why I behaved the way I did and how to better deal with it. I highly recommend therapy for people struggling with negative patterns they're experiencing or behaving with others. Education on emotional awareness, depression, and attachment styles are also paramount in today's relationships because everyone seems to be dealing with trauma and depression in some way. Learning how to navigate those emotional and mental spaces with your partners respectfully is something that is critical. I'm much better off now after therapy and doing a lot of innerwork after the break up. Good luck to everyone trying to make it in today's dating world and be kind.

[@fredrick-jr1qi]

One of the biggest issues that I have is opening up to people it’s because people won’t understand the things I’ve been through or the way I feel about things that might not mean anything to them but when I do sometimes people just dismiss the things I say and are like it’s all in your head or they just don’t believe me when i tell them what I’ve been through or they just don’t listen so I just kind of stopped telling people things but I am trying to get better and I am making progress with the help of Psych2go help

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing your personal experience with us. We're so glad that you're making progress with the content we make! We want to ask, what are some things that you're doing to take care of yourself?

[@Nyxkoo]

Mine is the same but I also tend to talk ab my problems a lot which pisses ppl off, I made friends and it was a tragic experience and also a trauma that I still carry

[@matchabubbletea4life]

It really do be like that trama never leaves

[@Psych2go]

Trauma can be triggered at any moment depending on the severity of it. How do you think one can overcome it?

[@matchabubbletea4life]

constant positivity, music and support

[@Falkite]

IS THAT AN OMORI REFERENCE?!?!!?!??!

[@Nennai]

I can relate to alot of these videos, but this one hits home. I learnt to not ask for help; not talk about certain topics, be a people pleaser, hide from people that either endangered me or sought to use me, and bottle everything up... First from my mother, then from other family members, then from everyone... The constant bullying and rejection from nearly everyone at school, coupled with the abuse and emotional absence of my mother, the pressure to do well academically from family, the attempts to turn me into an orthodox Christian from my grandmother, the worry of upsetting my father, who is also dealing with mental abuse and trauma (of which then manafested into controlling behaviour that I didn't notice right away, and now in hindsight, he may had been imposing his own treatment and truamas onto me much longer than I realised)... Before I realised I'd put myself in a position where I hardly trusted anyone, and thus didn't get help... Proper help. I learnt to bottle things up and just deal with things, and I thought it would be bad to be seen as weak or vulnerable. I'm not sure if this was out of fear of being taken (further) advantage of, not wanting to (further) burden others, or both, but in any case, I started keeping more and more to myself. My desire to hold on to any friendships I did make added more pressure, as I didn't want to upset them. I became a people pleaser so that people would be more likely to accept me. I couldn't (and still can't)set clear boundaries. And when I needed help the most, I was either abandoned, manipulated or just outright yelled at. I also felt like I was put on a pedestal due to my academic achievements - when honestly I probably just had a sponge for a brain as a kid, ntm the education system structure is built for that for the most part (I digress). As I got older I hated it more and more because I didn't feel 'smart' and I hated that people looked up to me for being 'smart' or 'good'. I felt like I was on stage but not to act - which was something I originally wanted to persue - more like a bit of an idol Instead of anyone teaching me things that would be incredibly important for becoming an independent adult, or navigate social situations, etc, my praises were sung for being a goody too shoes, being able to regurgitate (mostly) useless information, going through institutes, and making others happy. My deeper needs basically got swept under a rug, and not knowing better, didn't think much of them until I was kicked out of home - because I had exhausted my usefulness to my mother. I didn't know how to get the right help... I still don't. I've always felt weird about talking to total strangers about my deepest scars, thoughts and experiences, and I've had bad experiences with councillors. I only confided with a small handful of people I thought I could trust... And then even that came back to bite me. And so the moment I fail or do something wrong, everything hurts all the more, the disappoint, shame, and then abandonment/rejection. Each incident added to a glass, each incident made me lose trust and faith in the people I cared deeply for, especially if they hurt me in a new way that I was oblivious to, each incident made me put more walls up... And then I let someone new in all over again Now I just can't get close to anyone, I constantly question if my remaining connections will eventually leave me behind, I'm enstranged from family, my relationship with my parents are broken, I feel lost in and scared of my relationship,and I'm constantly scared im going to be forever harassed, burdened and shunned by my past.

[@bushrye8747]

I never got close to anyone if I was ever close to anyone then BOOM my stuffed animals my mom and my Mawmaw when my Mawmaw died I laughed and it felt good even that my Mawmaw was my secondary Allie the family always looked at me weird everybody did I nearly passed out every time I am near a human or in a live stream I get nervous when I’m around photos stuffed animals and names because I think they are hearing me I had another world in my head since the age of 5 and it was awesome so many humans who deserved to die had worse than death they were stumps with heads getting power drills to the chest and their meat tasted good like rich pork chops marinated in grape juice or depending on the layer age of fat mor bland but juicy I didn’t do it in real life but in the other world in my dreams The thing is I don’t know how to communicate with society it is going to get worse but I’m gonna try to have as much fun as I can

[@Taurusboy07]

I have done everything to heal. At this point, there is nothing else that I can do. For the bigger part of why it is hard to heal is due to the lack of good and quality people. Trusting today is by far the worst thing a person can do. If people were aware, mentally and emotionally intelligent and aware, trusting would be easier. The majority of unwounded people are simply the most unaware and untrustworthy people in the world. Words are just words today. If people value terminology and used their words properly, wounded people would have a handle to grab but unfortunately, when they reach for help, they only get let down with the most unethical behavior and so called help. So the real reason why I am some other people have such a hard time of healing is because the good people are in limited numbers spreader across the world.

[@nick27march]

One day you will realise that falling in love with yourself is the best relationship you've ever had.

[@rocomeesly9513]

That thumbnail physically makes me want to sit down next to them and give them a hug. Looks like they need it.

[@moonfall5165]

Dear phy2go viewers. If you are going through a difficult time in your life then please read through the rest of my message to you. Just because someone else's problems are worse than yours doesn't mean your problem doesn't hurt. With every problem comes hurt beyond anyone's understanding unless they have been in your head and gone through the same trauma that you have. With every life come love joy and happiness, but it also brings sadness loss and depression. Remember that you are important and you need to keep going because there is someone out there that needs you. I love the sun, but things don't grow because of the sun You have to have some rain. And you've got to stop looking at rain as something bad. My greatest moments don't come from my greatest moments, my greatest moments come from my greatest defeat. Because it was in my defeat when I had to find a way to get back up. Life thought I had me twisted, life thought for a moment it had broken me. We may not be phenomenally skilled. But we are phenomenally strong-willed and I will not give up. And neither should.

[@haileysun4085]

Truly right! I have got lots of traumas from my mom, she abused me for 18 years, and now I’m still being single!

[@funnytv-1631]

For me the internal triggers are very hard to conquer. For thousands of years we have evolved running away from discomfort. Now days, in order to thrive I have to embrace it. It's a psychological challenge for me and I can't be consistent with my routines. Every time I plan for something that I want to do for me, my brain responds in a totally different way the next day. I don't have the same problems when I promise something to someone else.

[@InK-Korps]

Same here, when it comes to do something for myself, I feel discouraged the next day. Like for homework and stuff like that, I just think " Yeah, next day, can do it later. " When you are able to do damage control, it's the easy way, but such a bad habit. But if it's for someone else, if this one of my only friends, a close friend, I can put everything on the line to keep a promise or help them. It's like, 2 people so guess it's kinda okay to do that. 😅

[@Fear_Therapy]

Thank you for talking about this ❤

[@ArielLorusso]

2:28 The functional adult comes up as if there existed a perfect solution to "resolve" any problem in life Sometimes people have a weakness they cant overcome & people will get hurt no mather what. This "respond in a manner that resolves the situation" sounds godlike for certain situations. Example : if you have a family member with mental isues and he/she takes his life. Maby you could come up with a response to solve the problem but probably not That does not make you inmature in any scense it just makes you human

[@wordandwater9027]

Wow this is a perfect description of me and why I’m still single after so many years.

[@schawnettarobinson8584]

I’ve difficulty trusting people. I’ve the need for perfection. I’ve low levels. I’ve been putting other needs before. I’ve no motivation to talk to anyone. I relate to all of them.

[@allidacinnabun9561]

Recently my dad has been yelling at me a lot recently for nothing at all and today he hasn’t said a word to me. He yelled at me for yelling at my sister after I got frustrated and then yelled at me for walking into the living room and asking why my youngest sister was watching my favorite movie without me. I cried so much that day and it reminded me of when he screamed at me for not wanting to be in a spelling bee and stuff and ignored me for a week. The one time he yelled at me so hard he told me directly he was going to ignore me because I was putting away my iPad before going to bed and he thought I was on it. Also I was talking to myself and repeating a list to myself and he thought I was on the phone. When we argue I yell back because he never shuts up long enough for me to explain myself or try and defend myself and he ends up calling me a liar and shutting me out. This man has been my only father since my mom got married to him and he swore to be my father to my face. Now he’s acting like someone I don’t know. It’s probably my fault anyway since I yell at everyone when I get frustrated and can’t control my emotions. I have the feeling everyone in my family hates me now and I can’t be happy. And behind my back my dad calls me things I don’t like and it hurts. It hurts not being able to speak up to him because as soon as I talk he gets angry. I just want a father who cares and doesn’t shut me out. I can’t share any of my fun topics to him cause he tells me he’s not interested or it’s dumb. I try to show people what I’m happy about and they ignore me and it makes me sad. I haven’t even seen my real dad in forever ever since he grabbed my foot and slammed me onto the ground and now I find out he’s hospitalized so. Also my grandma on his side is manipulating my mom and it’s really hard. But at the end of the day as my dad says my feelings don’t matter and it’s my fault the family is breaking. Just two days ago my youngest sister came up to me and said “Your glad you left the garage while you could. Daddy said something not nice about you.” And I responded with “Of course he did”. He’s not the loving father I used to know. Sorry if this made no sense it’s like 11:00 at night and I’m really tired and I’m crying to much and can’t see

[@Bakie24]

My dad is a terrible person, too. I remember dad would not talk to me for hours because i was annoyed with him. I cried every day because I knew my father was never going to love me.

[@Bakie24]

I wish I had a dad genuine love me instead always to prove myself that i am not useless to him.

[@botman234langer6]

Phyc2go people were bullying me at school I felt I was hated around the world I felt I was nothing until I saw ur channel and it saved me thank U so much

[@M0th3r0f-3]

❤ This video hit a lot of key points in my life right now

[@angelikazimmermann3416]

From all your videos, this one is THAT video that i can relate to in EVERY single points. Usually from the rest are just 2 or 3 points that relates to me, but that one, all points does it🤗Greetings from Germany🇩🇪love you❤

[@Psych2go]

Thank you so much for your kind words. While we're glad that you found the content relatable, we also want to ask how you are doing. Do you feel like you've been getting the help you need with your trauma and relationships?

[@angelikazimmermann3416]

I'm doing great right now. I'm getting help since 6 months and feeling better after weeks. Hope you have also a good time. Wish you for every steps and goals you have good luck and massive success.🏆💪😁

[@stoomkracht]

@@Psych2go Why every single reply of you needs one or even more questions at the end while you do not care about the answer. "Social engagement statistics"? Be genuine. Anyway those videos feel like random ideas or facts with random doctor names to make it sound authoritative with a o so caring voice over with little actual help with solving issues. Just recognizing them. Still interesting stuff now and then just know that one is dealing with a commercial pro YT channel that spits out content continually to keep it coming.

[@lotussong1]

I can relate. My mom divorced my abusive father when I was 10 or 11. My sister and I chose to live with our mother. Afterwards, our father refused to even communicate with us. In my 20s and early 30s, I had mostly negative dating experiences. Though I’ve gotten professional help, I still have no desire to be romantically involved with anyone, much less get married. Honestly, I’m glad to be single with no kids. My main priority now is to look after my retired mother. My focus is on the present and future, not the past that can’t be changed.

[@oddlybored]

I've been waiting for another video of yours love this place thank you

[@syzygy4365]

Thank you so much for your video's. I've been working on myself, and I feel so peaceful now. I haven't even watched this one yet. I do have high anxiety so learning about what triggers that will help.

[@shatteredmemoryz]

The last person I was in a relationship with told me that the only reason our relationship was broken is because ALL of my relationships were broken (reffering to a fall out with my father), and that my default state was hurt. I think that hurt more than anything that could have possibly been said in that moment. My solution was to block her on everything and delete her contact, which I still cry over doing. I imagine a perfect person in my head, scenario after scenario, temporaily providing safety within myself. I don't allow for closeness anymore, because I fear that she was actually right.

[@alirezashah9905]

You spend a lot of time and effort healing yourself then something pops up out of nowhere and you find yourself in the same place then you start over again and again. It’s just a disappointing cycle…

[@Sillylittlegoosey627]

I have to admit (I’ve told one person about this and just fyi it wasn’t my mom or dad), when I was 8, I was sexually assaulted by my elder cousin who at the time was a teenager. He would constantly touch me inappropriately and even followed me into the bathroom and began to touch me there too. There was a time he orally touched me and forced me to orally touch him as well (he forced me to give him head and forced it soon me too). Now, I knew that something was wrong because we were kids and relatives. However, I was a very naive child, having grown up very sheltered. I did not understand what had happened until I learn what rape and SA were in 5th grade. Even so I was suspicious that the things my cousin did to me and made me do were wrong but something kept me from telling someone. I was afraid that I would get in trouble or my cousin would hurt me. So I didn’t say anything. I’ve lived with that haunting me for seven years and almost broke down when are teachers asked if anyone we know has gone through anything like that. In the beginning of this year I had found a friend that I trusted and told her about that since the topic was brought up. I’m currently 15 and have only told one person. I’m not super mentally scarred since I never understood what had happened until way later in life but I still am a little traumatized. I don’t like being touched I hate the topic of sex if it’s not scientific, I get very anxious around guys and am fearful of dating in general. This is because I am scared it’ll happen again and possibly be even worse. I’m sorry if I sound dramatic or am giving “main character” vibes. I don’t mean to be like that and I’m not looking for attention I swear, I just want to share my experiences with people I actually can share them with. Thank you for reading

[@strangeosyndro272]

Number 4: Abandonment triggers cause people pleasing. Less so now but a recent former relationship hit the fan because I tried too hard to make something work that likely wasn't going to. For instance as an ENFP I'm driven by Emotions and my ex was on the Autism spectrum) I thought we were managing things but towards the end I was wrong. Other than that and a few other key red flags (I'm an introverted extrovert who wants to travel eventually, they are a homebody who doesn't really want to go anywhere) Other than that we had similar experiences and very similar interests which was a step up from my relationship before this one but because of those glaring red flags it was ultimately doomed from the beginning. You live and you learn. I broke it off in December last year, still stings a bit because I did fall for their mind and they did have a big heart just didn't know how to express it and didn't have the energy to. I did love them and a part of me still does but I know there's always someone else. My ex and I helped each other through some bad times but ultimately it wasn't meant to be.

[@DobiDarkoO]

"the truth is there can never be a partner who can perfectly fulfill the highly unrealistic expectations of a perfectionist" hit me hard... :/

[@Love_Iris]

I am NOT crying, you are😭 I relate to all except (kinda) the “Functional Adult” my dad is one of the main reasons. I broke up w my boyfriend due to the fact I was scared of getting to attached then hurt. My dad emotionally hurts my mom, I’m still young so I still hear them fight. I have two younger brothers ones still very little, my other brother and I always cry, but I try not to cry in front of him. I always feel like it’s my job to take care of my siblings, especially when our parents fight, even with my friends I always have to make them feel better and safe since (once again) I always have felt like it was my job. My mom she’s very caring and she has gone through a lot more trauma then I have and she always tells me that I can talk to her since HER mom wasn’t home all the time and her dad was not really in the picture, my dad on the other hand, he is more closed in his parents were both there he had older siblings he had MUCH less strict parents then my mom. They grew up in VERY different house holds. My dad, he always tries to take the things out of me and try to “help” by making me laugh. Anyways that explains a lot about the way I act with people and my relationships. Back to what I was saying about my (now) ex-boyfriend, I found out he was cheating on me with his girl best friend.. I had my suspicions, but I honestly never thought, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt… obviously that didn’t turn out great. At least I’m not super down about it.. it still hurt and I’m not sure how to feel. Anyways you helped me sm figuring myself out the past two (ish) years. Thank you so much again.❤

[@katsukibakugo1569]

As an adolescent I had my mother who is always strict at academics we don't talk too much through years I keep pushing myself to get to the top of the class this leaves me push me to the edge a lot of times luckily I have the school psychiatrist helping me recover from intense school burnout and depression even I still have my mother, who is close-minded.

[@generoberts7648]

Thank You all at Psych2Go. 1-How about trusting yourself. 2 Better done than perfect. 3 Don't ruminate, be here now. The present is a 'Gift'. 4 Be loyal and don't compromise yourself. 5 You sometime's have to find the other's.

[@celestialfortuna37]

thank you for this. enlightening. thanks

[@a62757]

The moment that i can't even scream, cry, and get angry even to your family is annoying and sad I just stay silent afraid of what might happen or letting the situation worst. I've done some horrible things along my life and I try to change however something seems to pull me back. If only psychological help is free in my country.

[@addypaddysadventures5411]

I'm an adaptive child, not to my partner but to my family and friends. I'm also number 3, I have a lot of trouble communicating and showing my emotions, not all of them but the sad ones. When I'm upset i shit down and won't say a word. none of this my actions are from my parents though, it's more from bullying. I've been getting bullied since I started school, and I still am. It's hard... Especially since half of my friend group and my boyfriend are getting bullied as well.

[@tugatomskanimation6370]

The dissociation that causes lack of concentration and the inability to absorb information on the fly is something that I now realize got me fired from my last job and devastating my already low self-esteem and self-confidence. Seeing my psychiatrist and taking new medicine did little to solve the problem. My bosses complained that I seemed absent, was always nervous (a turn-off for costumers) and was very forgetful. I also made mistakes despite my best efforts. They fired me on those grounds after six months. This was a year and a half ago...

[@SUP3RST4R_]

Her voice cures my depression

[@dlsk07]

I was a wounded child, but those wounds were not healed and now that Im an adult, I am a wounded adult.

[@sophiaquinn]

Ima adaptive child bc today I was cleaning with my dad and I was so tired of cleaning that when I was so annoyed of the music that he was putting on while I was cleaning I couldn’t help it I felt weak and non emotional 🖤 and like my dad yells at me I have related on this one but when I was so mad he yelled really loud I wasn’t even screaming at him like what the heck the Manager can hear us next door we lived in a apartment and like I yelled at him back and then we agreed then after it was over I was kinda crying my eyes where really really blurry and I felt even more weak like I couldn’t do anything about it no one to help me…..I felt like I was at a prison and people telling me what to do Ik I’m wrong but we’d have to do everything over and over AND OVER!! I’m tired!! And then my friends that I text on my phone is that they would just tell me to do something or a favor for them and I try not to be mean bc we’ll there good friends and I don’t want to make them feel bad just like I am….so I did it anyways I hope you understand…….😞

[@sophiaquinn]

Sorry if I’m wrong idk what is happening my mom left us and my dad has a stroke

[@Justineyedia]

Love is a serious mental illness. Love hits the brain like a cocaine addict. As the obsession builds, the lover seeks to interact with the beloved more and more, known in addiction literature as "intensification." Lovers also distort their reality, change their priorities and daily habits to accommodate the beloved, and often do inappropriate, dangerous, or extreme things in order to remain in contact with or impress the special other. Even ones personality can change, known as "affect disturbance." - Helen Fisher We should learn how to detach in healthy ways in these emotional attachments before we totally disassociate from them. The thin line between love and hate can be easily crossed because we are still remaining unconscious. This is the whole purpose of our relationships, to make the unconscious conscious. Make them mean something. Otherwise, we will all suffer meaninglessly. That's love. To make someone aware of their shadow is to bring them to their light.

[@LLA1T]

It doesn’t matter what happens to me or anybody else I’m gonna go look for somebody to talk to to connect to communicate with that’s just my nature

[@clayehe2912]

i avoid everyone so no one can hurt me and its working 😍😍😍😍

[@rosyloveslearning3013]

Thank you. ❤

[@indridcold8433]

My unhealed trama protects me from a similar situation happening to me again. I keep my guard up, stay quiet, wear bland clothing, drive a very old car, and have no friends, nor a girlfriend. This I'll assure that absolutely nobody will take any sort of interest in me, rather for a genuine amicable or amorous relationship, or a social predator looking for someone to take all they can from the person that let's their guard down to receive their fake love. With nobody in my life, it is 100% impossible for a repeat of unhealed trama happening to me again. Whenever I feel I may want a friend or a girlfriend, I just remember what happened to me last time. That unhealed trama then instantly reminds me that I want no fiends nor a girlfriend.

[@InK-Korps]

My relationships are so instable. When it comes to other people, I always think " You make them laugh, then you never get news from them. Next day, next time, you make them laugh, etc... ". Trusting others ? Yeah, but no. I don't want to trust others. When you feel like you NEED to beg for other's attention in ALL your relationship, just no. Recently I found out that I might be a borderline personality. You know, I tried to explain to people around me how I feel and stuff, to my so called friends and family. Yet, yeah, that's not their problem, so why they would care about it ? That kind of thing doesn't help, it just make you feel like you're worthless. If a human could live alone without any mental consequences, would be the first in line.

[@milkynai]

the last one hit me like a truck on a highway. i have lost so many people in my life that were dear to me, mostly by them abandoning or replacing me. the last 2 relationships i've been in left me terrified of talking through DMs with others online. i have no friends either. yet i wish so much i wasn't lonely. i wish i was liked, accepted and wanted. i'm going to therapy, but i have so much to deal with that there hasn't been any progress on that topic.

[@silverletter4551]

I would say I don't have relationships because I'm too heavily damaged to believe that it could exist. That I hold no true value for anyone. Others wouldn't accept me anyway. That's how it has always been, and always shall be.

[@itSinger]

I relate to all these points 💔💔

[@gernaneering]

i wish i was born as woman and not of the male gender i feel as a adult i would fit the world better than i am as a male, i know it seems to me that the world is gentle, kinder and more understanding towards women than the harsh brutal treatment that have to endure particularly in the prison system as a example, but even men can and do respond to more humane treatment, the Scandinavian prison system , i know this was not the subject of your video , i feel so much empathy for humans that are suffering, your video was wonderfully easy to understand, as find mental health professionals seem to make understanding various mental conditions very hard to comprehend and understand, and hard to grasp these intellectual concepts. Thank you so much for making easier to grasp unhealed trauma and how it affects relationships.

[@crazfamily6931]

Tension/stress, not being social at all to anyone minus close friends or people I see regularly, and overall just lack of communication just absolutely feels like me whenever I tried to start a conversation with people. It's no necessarily the fact that I apologize it's more of the fact that I have the feeling that the person isn't going to give a care about me. I also have the mindset of not seeking a love interest. And while people be classifying people into groups like that (which I call bs on 100% even as a Gen z I find it stupid for how many labels there are) I personally just don't see worth in a lot of things. I'm not as bad as I used to be (Thank the Lord) but I still struggle with self worth and having a life where I don't have the urge to pull what is left of my hair out. It's why I intentionally cut it short. Also little sisters as a teenager can absolutely contribute to having trauma if you are forced to deal with it long enough.

[@WillowsWonderTree]

i’m questioning how bad my trauma is i’m pretty sure i have trauma.. here’s the story… advice is welcome! i was around 8 when me and my mum came home one night and found our front door smashed and glass everywhere my mum grabbed me and shoved me in the car. we drove a little down the street and called the police.. they didn’t come…(someone did but the police came 3 days later!!) we stayed in a hotel that night my dad came too as he was at work when me and my mum got home we stayed in the hotel 3 days and when we had to go home i was scared and cried begging not to go back but we couldn’t stay in a hotel forever so we went home.. i wouldn’t go anywhere by myself for years EVEN THE BATHROOM!! i’m now a teenager and this fear still looms behind me. if i hear any unusual noises i hide.. if i need to go somewhere threw the house i run worried someone is there.. if i see a weird shadow that slightly resembles a human in the house i runaway to my safe spot and hide for a good 5 minutes.. i sleep fully under the pillows and blankets so i won’t be seen.. writing this makes me realise how bad this sounds 😅

[@Krab062]

I relate a lot to #3 and #5 . I struggle a lot with dissasociating almost every day, i never feel like i belong in my own body. I never feel seen or understood, not even by my friends. :(

[@Maverick305Bliss]

Definitely the adaptive child… so many barriers are up

[@themidnightotaku22]

So many relatives in my family have died yet I don’t feel the same trauma as others do. Maybe I’m just used to seeing death for a whole quarter of my life. I guess I still cry for them sometimes though.

[@lovewarrior0210]

I subscribed to you a couple of days ago...and in this short period of time you have helped me a lot... thank you❤️

[@Psych2go]

Welcome! Thank you for joining us. We want to ask, what type of videos did you find most helpful from us?

[@lovewarrior0210]

@@Psych2go Mostly the videos about trauma, relationships , emotions and love/ crushes...and that video about creativity burnout was actually very helpful !!

[@YOU-niter]

We’re all wounded.. somehow, some way & don’t even know how to unravel this to even begin to know where to start to heal. My case anyway.🖤