Relationship Update - Navigating Mental Health Challenges as Partners, Not Parents

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Hello, Brains and Hearts! It can be tough to not fall into therapizing or even parenting each other when both partners have mental health challenges, so we wanted to share a bit of our experience navigating mental health challenges as partners... not parents!
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[@HowtoADHD]

Thanks to Paired for sponsoring this video. ❤ Get 25% off on Paired premium! Start your 7-day free trial by clicking the link here: www.paired.com/howtoadhd25

[@DaleESkywalker]

Hello, Brains!

[@leovaldez9544]

I have been diagnosed recently and your contents helped me learn more about ADHD🙏 Thank you ❤

[@werbnaright5012]

Her? Baby's a girl?

[@DarkDragonSlayer]

Thanks for letting us see that you're actually pregnant, Jessica and that it's not a lie. Congrats again!

[@DaleESkywalker]

Why would she lie?@@DarkDragonSlayer

[@turntablez504]

Love the acknowledgement that helping isn't always the kindest thing to do. ❤ Unsolicited help can feel like being pressured to fix the problem faster than you're prepared to do. And then it ends up actually taking longer because you don't feel like you have permission to do it the way you can.

[@AnnInghamlife-goals]

Drama triangle. A bad game. But with trauma of previous relationships its what lots of us do

[@TheEDFLegacy]

When you put it that way, that can apply to friendships as well. Something I've been guilty of.

[@stephaniebarrows5428]

It also can contribute to the “poor disabled person” feels less capable and maybe internalizes a belief that they are the problem, not the condition itself.

[@chrisrioux]

Damn. Well said! Mind=blown.

[@kikumon90]

This is the explanation I never knew I needed!

[@issy0613]

So satisfying when they do videos together. If they did a relationship podcast, I'd listen to every episode, literally obsessed with how they articulate so well.

[@HowtoADHD]

awwwww thank you so much!! glad you enjoy how we talk about it all :D

[@theedoctorb]

I think we words good. Glad to hear you think we words good too!

[@powerpuff4ever]

I would also listen to every episode of a podcast of these two! As an AuDHD person in a romantic relationship with an autistic man who’s autism presents in a totally different way from mine, this video and their last about navigating neurodivergent partnerships has been so helpful for me because nearly everything resonates. My partner and I are generally so compatible - we complement each others lives immediately - but there are points of friction that cause both of us anxiety and I feel like so many of them have gotten addressed on this channel

[@bellaluce7088]

27:34 I burst into tears at *“Being able to say that just cuz I do things differently doesn’t mean that I’m worthless.”* 😭My internalized ableism runs so deep! It helps to hear the harm it does talked about so honestly. ❤ Eff the up/down hierarchy of helping without consent---you two make solving problems with autonomy & partnership look good!😄Thanks for this! 👏

[@oddluck4216]

Wasn't honestly expecting to be hit so hard by hearing someone else describe the nature of his trauma reactions as internalizing... or the pain a loved one might experience seeing someone THEY love hurt themselves... Damn...

[@melissabryant7410]

Problem-solving and figuring out puzzles is such a strength that we feel the need to solve all the problems in all the people we care about.

[@foxylovelace2679]

+

[@jmaraboli1394]

Ugh. It’s horrible lol. We’re just very caring people. We care too much. It’s silly! Comes off nosy but it’s not. Lol

[@steggopotamus]

I'm also the million solutions girl, I now ask, "what have you tried" and "what do you feel like is missing"? It helps me make better suggestions. And at each successive point it's "how did that go? Did you try something else? And what do you feel is missing still?"

[@Lys_sei]

That's such a simple but brilliant question ("what have you tried?") ! I'll keep it in mind, thx =)

[@jasmint3207]

Or even: Do you want advice or do you just want me to listen?

[@jasmint3207]

My advice, talking about it together a collaborative way without me taking the lead, just listening/venting, cuddling, distraction...

[@puppypoet]

Can you two stop being so cute? 😊 You guys are so adorable!

[@HowtoADHD]

Neeeeveeeer! :P

[@-i.cats-]

Let’s be real that are getting cuter by the day!! ❤️ can’t wait for you both to be parents💖💙

[@dwayneheeter]

​@@HowtoADHDnever stop listening, and communicating with each other. So heartwarming. I'm sure there are much tough moments, especially while being pregnant. It is inspiring to hear how you both worked through challenges❤

[@ville__]

Today is my birthday and I got no subscribers Not fair! Completely unfair!

[@theedoctorb]

Can't stop! Won't stop!

[@CardinalTreehouse]

Something that BOTH of you bring to the table is that you are capable of growth and are willing to do it, despite the challenges.

[@anne-helenedlr1763]

The best thing I've said to my partner is "sometimes, helping me means letting me do the thing alone and letting me fail at it"

[@megaady36]

My wife has ADHD and I'm autistic - we have to be careful as it can be very easy for her, although well intentioned to infantilise me when trying to help.. We both have our own needs but do tend to stumble around when trying to help each other.

[@ShinbrigTV]

You can tell they CARE for each other deeply.

[@karladolman9664]

Honestly, you both seem so much more relaxed a year on, both explaining your thoughts and feelings, but also with each other. If you keep going how you are you will make amazing parents and continue to be happy partners.

[@animefangrl0902]

I love how raw and open this discussion is. It shows how we with ADHD work on relationships in a healthy way

[@vlong7112]

I *just* listened to a webinar on over- and under-functioning in ADHD/neurodivergent relationships! 👀 And I think gender and how each gender is socialized plays into the dynamic too. We're obviously multifaceted creatures, but these experiences are so helpful to share. Thank you 🙏🏽😊

[@HowtoADHD]

Oh that sounds interesting!! Where did you find this webinar?

[@vlong7112]

I'm an LMFT so it was a CEU through PESI. But the speaker was Dr. Ari Tuckman. He mentioned the parent-child dynamic and how that impacts sexual relationships! Super helpful!

[@vlong7112]

It's called "ADHD, Relationships, and Sex: Strategies to Overcome the Over/Under-Functioner Dynamic"

[@mariabarnes9197]

​@vlong7112 I wish they'd make that info more accessible to the general public, & to mental health coaches.

[@HowtoADHD]

Ari is great, he donates a lot of his time to get this info out there publicly. Here's a video we did with him on ADHD, sex and relationships: kzbin.info/www/bejne/o2m0f4Wmg5mhj5o

[@Channelinterrupted]

Yea, when the kid is born, please remember ypur exhaution and new roles will kinda pull you back to old patterns of operation....your relationship will change....but if you guys are extra cognizant of all that, it will bring you two closer rather thwn apart. Just want to emphasize tbat so you two cab be prepared. Exhaustion is the devil 😂. You guys are so self aware, you guys got tbis!

[@stargirl7646]

THIS!! It’s one reason why I know I’m not ready (if I ever will be but that’s another issue) to be a parent. I’m still learning how to just navigate a single bad day lol, much less months and years of a tiny human constantly needing you lol!

[@ashleycampbell8621]

Yes, thank you for warning them! Babies are so exhausting and it’s difficult to communicate well and regulate your emotions when you’re severely sleep deprived!

[@blumoon187]

I have ADHD and work in a person-centric field and my husband is definitely some flavor of neurospicy. I feel EXTRAORDINARILY called out by everything in this video. STOP BEING SO RELATABLE YOU TWO!

[@laurelvisco476]

I love “neurospicy” so very much :)

[@BlueDauntless]

@@laurelvisco476same!!!😂

[@markmaurer6370]

My wife (T1 diabetic) and I (ADHD) met at 19, and we've been together 21 years now... My advice is to appreciate the ways in which you compliment each other, forgive the ways in which you rival each other, and everything else forget about. Of course, after twenty-one years, this baby's on auto pilot. But getting it there took a lot of work. Also, it helps now that money is not a struggle, which was only about 5 years ago.

[@sanpelletina]

26:48 I resonated with feeling worthless and defaulting to others advice due to my self perception and reinforcement. Thank you for being so candid.

[@ericahill9998]

This just made me realize how much more I appreciate my partner now. He is neurotypical, and I have ADHD. He is very understanding of me and is very patient and kind now that he is learning about ADHD. Thank you for your videos!

[@bobclarke2242]

CPTSD and ADHD keep life interesting. 🙂

[@BlackCatsandPumpkins]

Might make your life interesting but it cripples mine 😖😖😖😖😖😭😭😭😭😭.

[@danielleegolf4290]

Yes, it's so hard not to enter helper mode! I struggle with this as a homeschool mom, I have to shut up and let my kids do stuff without jumping in to help. That silence in between asking what they know and hearing the answer is difficult!

[@lanternsown3525]

Y'all sound like a lovely couple I'm sure you'll both make wonderful parents.

[@yodizzle]

Thank you for this. I have a friend that really needs mental help, but this is a reminder that I can't fix things for her and keep suggesting help when it isn't something she asked of me.

[@SkunkWerks7]

I'm ADHD, my wife is Bipolar I. It's affirming seeing the two of you relate to one another. My wife and I have been together for over 20 years, and that concept of not-parenting was something we established early on. Her being disabled, and me being ostensibly the "functional" person already sets up a dynamic of dependence- and I wanted to make sure she has agency- especially in matters concerning her care. I'll help you if you stumble, carry you for a spell if you can't walk... but I can't drag you. My challenge, being a problem-solver is also sitting with my helplessness. Not always perfect at it, but we are wary of it in any case.

[@cathysmallwood]

21:05 “The house looks different when you live inside it” so true!!!❤

[@jojo-wy7yq]

I feel the taking over of emotional work is grinded into women all over the world. It is when the man is matured he will reduce it in a loving way and both will grow.

[@BaileyWhite]

Raffael, as an AuDHD man myself, it means the world to me to hear struggles I can relate to so strongly. I’d love to hear from you more, If you feel so inclined, or to hear more from our AuDHD community in general. Thank you.

[@tfkns_14]

As an auDHDer, when you include Dr. B my struggles feel extra seen and spoken to. There is no part of my ADHD needs which aren't punctuated by my Autistic needs (the Autistic of which for me personally present the bigger challenge) and vice versa, so having his perspective on this stuff really formulates a more complete acknowledgement and solution for me. I suppose the best way to put it is that watching you both is like watching and hearing both parts of me and not just the ADHD half! :)

[@canuckkat]

I can't believe I'm first! Also, I love that Dr. B has brought specific communication into your relationship! It's something I keep trying to get other people to do (hidden requests are really hard for me cuz they're sooooo much mental gymnastics) but apparently being direct and clear is hard?

[@forgesoulfire1320]

This very point has been my bane for like nineteen to twenty six years now, I swear.... it just reinforces how difficult we as humans find direct statements and specified wording to be.

[@madalynnr9940]

Opposite perspective being direct can feel very uncomfortable to people who don't feel like they can take up space. Being direct often feels like you might come across as rude, demanding, and entitled. And it's incredibly difficult to overcome those feelings and to feel like you can take up that space and be direct especially since it would only be applicable to certain individual people on whether it would be considered helpful or rude so it's safer to choose not rude as opposed to helpful.

[@canuckkat]

@@madalynnr9940 You can be direct without being rude. If you read my whole comment, you would see I specifically mentioned hidden requests, which is what a lot of NT (and neurospicy) do when they think they're being polite but they actually want you to do something specific by framing it as a vague comment instead of just asking or saying specifically what they think you should do. That is not helpful communication. Did you feel like Jessica was rude at the beginning of the video?

[@mariabarnes9197]

Depends if you're from "ask" culture or "guess" culture. Askers can take no for an answer, & anticipate the answer to be 50-50 (50% answer might be yes, & 50% answer might be no). Guessers will only ask if they know the answer is yes. When requests are made of guessers by askers, they feel internal pressure to say yes, & are annoyed at the asker, whom they feel is putting them in an awkward position b/c they want / have to say no.

[@HowtoADHD]

Yeah, actually, being with him has improved my communication a lot! I didn't realize how many "hidden requests" I was making because I thought what I was asking for was clear. I didn't realize how much I relied on nonverbal communication, context clues, and social expectations rather than me actually saying it out loud, and how being clearer could help not only our relationship, but any relationship.

[@user-dy2px8gt1g]

This is a fantastic video guys. Really meant a lot to me to watch someone else in their forties and autistic talk about how hard it is to recognise any value you bring to a,relationship. Your openness helps so many people to see that are not alone in their struggles

[@veronicavids]

Wow he does look a lot happier and a lot more comfortable (: I'm glad you two found each other

[@gcozmc]

Yes! You can see it with his increased and more natural eye contact... cool!

[@shaunrussell4558]

You guys are WONDERFUL!!! So much love, so much giggles from both of you!! 😂🥰🤓I just love your dynamic! Your growth is evident in this video, the ways in which you share openly and honestly the ways in which your relationship is helping each of you grow within yourselves, in order to know how to show up for each other in better and better ways! 😅🎉your little baby girl is going to be SOo lucky to have you two!! ❤🥰🌈💞🍀🍀🍀💫

[@TheS4ndm4n]

A lot of what Raffael said resonated so much with me, that it pulled me out of hyperfocus (on something else entirely) and made me listen intently (which is no simple task). I am absolutely bringing some of that up in my therapy. It kinda brought up that gut-wrenching feeling of a therapy breakthrough. Thank you so much for being so honest about all of this.

[@karlaps3994]

My favorite part of this video is when you guys both getting excited about feeling the baby girl kicking 😊 My baby just turned 6 months old, so I have recent experience with this special moment. Beautiful ❤

[@tebohosefatsa8280]

ADHD is one COMPLICATED Beast...

[@AStelliumSkyAstro]

ADHD person here and WHEW! It was extremely refreshing to see how skilled you both are in communication and how SELF AWARE you both are. I believe that both things are vital to the health and wellbeing of relationships and also for ourselves. Thanks for all of your hard work that you do for yourselves and others each and every day ❤

[@OrafuDa]

Thanks for talking about this! (Self-assessed AuDHD here + a few other things (- yeah, waiting times here are really long now: 6 years and rising! … and I am only 2 1/2 years in).) One request: could you please make a video about things that you think go well? We tend to focus on things that need improvement - which is good. But what about the things that go well? I think we need to recognize and acknowledge those. (You did a bit of that in this video, which is good.) For example, even though things are very imbalanced for my wife and me now, what I think goes well is that we can always come to each other to get some talking time, even if it is just a few minutes, and needs to be scheduled. And we always try to have some nice time for dinner. Which is an emotionally lovely space for us. - How does this work for you guys? From each side, and/or together?

[@blaiseutube]

17 years of marriage and we have not been able to overcome the combination of her cptsd, my ADHD, and our son's autism. I recently moved out to help reduce the tension and resentment. I have completely assumed the responsibility of being in the wrong and we both see our son feeling like everything is his fault. So, the pattern repeats and the past is prologue. You two are off to the right start.

[@jayhopt]

This video is something I really needed to see. Your partner's described experiences in the relationship, with his own realized trauma, and his learning about his true self after his autism diagnosis late in life mirror mine to an extreme degree, especially since my wife is ADHD. I've sent her this video because I see so much of us in it.

[@wyatt_taco4]

Very interesting video in which it reminded me a lot of my partner(wife) and I. We have been together going on 13 years, had our ups and downs, however continue to learn about our own mental health as well as each other. Great video and thank you both for sharing!

[@Cath-ix5ee]

Thanks for the heads up on this video in the ADDitude webinar. Loved that and loving the book. Looking forward to your thoughts insights re having children (we have 10 week-old baby, 4 year old and 8 year old) Would also love to hear more about bring an effective leader with ADHD/ND?

[@HowtoADHD]

Welcome!! That's a great topic! I'll definitely make a note of it, thank you so much for the suggestion!!

[@Cath-ix5ee]

I love that you actually mean that after seeing videos about using a parking lot. I've found it very helpful to have a list of things to research on my phone when bored and I have a sleepy baby on my lap. Also understand if you want a break too.

[@HowtoADHD]

Thanks :) Yeah, I'll be taking maternity leave for a couple months, but my team will still be here posting videos, responding to comments, and capturing ideas for when I get back!

[@NightPortal]

You two are adorable and I love seeing the growth from last year's video! As an AuDHDer in a relationship with an ADHDer, it's so validating and impactful to hear you both-I relate in ways to both sides, and you have the words I'm missing to express what's going on in my brain. These are the videos I click on the fastest!

[@Clarinetboy82]

My wife and I both have ADHD (both diagnosed 30 years ago when so little was known). 20 years together and it is a struggle some times. There are times when we both just have to step back and give each other room to breath.

[@veebeelights]

Something I learned about in college in human services, is about how everyone has a child self, a parent self, and an adult self. The goal in relationships is to meet people adult to adult. And that's basically what you talked about with parentification, it makes a lot of sense. That's a good reminder for me

[@mariabarnes9197]

And, the ideal is the integration of these parts into a whole, so that the person is operating from an integrated self.

[@LWilli5]

The two of you seem so much more comfortable in this video than the previous one 🥰. BTW, I too am AuDHD and I’d love to hear more from you both about that.

[@meganlampa3293]

Love this so much. Me and my husband have ADHD. He's in the process of diagnosis. This is so lovely and encouraging

[@Hi_Im_Akward]

Relate to a lot of what he said. Also AuDHD with CPTSD, a significant portion from past relationships. And the whole not seeing yourself as equal but your partner as more so above you is so relatable. On the surface a lot of these things seem like no brainers, especially for people who see this from the outside. Buuuuut it's not and PTSD isn't something you can tackle wholly with rationality since it is inherently sourced from irrational events. It doesn't make sense and will never make sense. A big reason I fear being in a relationship is because I know that no matter how much I work on it on my own, I can never tackle it all because you basically need to practice and live through these re-triggering events in order to tackle the trauma. So any relationship I ever have again will be one big science experiment 😅

[@penelopefp]

This hits home on so many levels showing vulnerability really is such a strength!

[@carinen8119]

The excitement over the baby kicks was so sweet!

[@mushirahabib442]

I've been waiting for this. Thank you. ❤

[@PriDrummond]

That is such an honest and informative video. thank you!

[@BobcatPoop]

Why am I only JUST realising I am solution-focused like WHOA?! I see now how people have always taken this as argumentative or me not letting things go, but now I understand it was purely just because I was trying to find a way to help. So lovely to see a couple model effective communication, btw. You're going to both rock this parenting thing. 🤗

[@molly.d]

i love these videos and can't wait for more! i have really struggled to find resources that talk about relationships in which BOTH partners are neurodivergent. my fiance and i both have adhd so things like mutual motivation, navigating each other's hyperfocus and fixations, and trying to have a productive disagreement when we both have trouble with emotional dysregulation and (particullarly me) rejection sensitivity are a real challenge for us. reading and watching stuff that says to "just be patient with your neruodivergent partner!" is 0% helpful. thank you both for being so open in such a public manner and sharing your experiences. it has truly helped me.

[@funnelqueen1986]

Thank You for everything!

[@jennieivins]

Thank you so much for sharing! It's amazing to see another neurodivergent relationship and how you are working through it. Also my husband has some hearing loss, and does that "What?" joke all the time. XD

[@HowtoADHD]

Omg I love that! That's so great! Sounds like you both have a good sense of humour :)

[@reincarnatedPostit]

Thank you both! It's really helpful when you talk about these things together.

[@yashrajsharma4031]

This podcast was soooo much needed ❤

[@isiso3745]

Thank you so much guys! ❤ this is so helpful ❤❤

[@miscellane245]

You guys are wonderful, thank you for everything! ❤️❤️

[@kathyking9928]

I'm so glad you are talking about this! You are talking about my life! ❤

[@mollyh5037]

Thank youuu soo much for your transparency!! this is so helpful to hear ❤

[@theflyingcat7707]

Y’all are so sweet. Thanks for sharing yourselves like this, excited for your journey into parenthood ❤

[@tess5564]

This was so incredibly appreciated and informative to me. So thank you so much.

[@maywenearedhel]

Watching you two makes me so happy because your relationship reminds me so much of my relationship with my husband. We both have ADHD. And we have been together since 2012. I love my husband so much, and though we definitely have experienced growing pains, i cant imagine growing old with anyone else.

[@AileenDaw]

I'm crying here, I can relate so much with him! Thank you both for opening up and helping so many people

[@LordShockwave9]

I'm so loving this style of video between you two! ❤😂 it's beneficial and I'm learning a ton!

[@wuschelkopf5583]

This is a really cool Insight. Thank you both for being so open about your relationship

[@bajasbaby]

Your intro is literally my husband and me trying to communicate on a daily basis🤦🏻‍♀️ the feels! ❤

[@gwendolynnewton4500]

Honestly this re-watch was super helpful. Would love to see the next one too...if it exists.

[@willbyers_clizzy]

Thank you so much for these videos! It's very nice to see an example of neurodivergent love and your analysis of your own relationship brings a lot to the table!

[@jmackey4751]

Without getting into my own baggage, thank you both for being so open and honest, you have given me hope...and a LOT to think about and process!

[@catfrog1975]

This was good! Thank you

[@-i.cats-]

This was so helpful and informative I really appreciate your openness to say it like it is !! Bravo I hope to see more of the two of you ❤️❤️❤️

[@anitamakes]

Thank you so much for making these videos together, it makes it SO much easier to understand and be there for my partner. We parallel you in many ways with him having PTSD and being AuDHD and me being ADHD and I find a lot of comfort to hear that the dynamic we experience isn't abnormal. I look forward to more videos like this, it's really hard to find videos specifically about both parties being ND. Sending you guys so so much love

[@elainedavids4924]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for doing another relationship video! I have ADHD. My husband was late diagnosed HFA in 2022. Watching the two of you is so encouraging to me. I loved when Rafael said, "I got back into therapy. Have a freshly minted diagnosis of complex ptsd." We are in another transitioning season of our relationship. There's so much work for us. We also have 3 homeschooled teens and one 19-year-old with their own diagnoses (a mix of adhd and hfa). Your videos give me space for a life that looks nothing like my friends' or extended family's lives. ❤❤❤

[@kimperfect2295]

You two are really good together. You are both growing! Great job!!!!

[@pokelover02]

Man, I’m AuDHD and relate to everything he said so much. Thank you both for sharing! ❤

[@AoiMusou]

Thank you both for talking about this, it shed a lot of light on the struggles I’ve been facing as a partner with inattentive adhd, and I only wish I knew about these kind’ve things sooner. Like parenting our partner without knowing and the perspectives of how a house looks different on the inside for both people. It’s very assuring to hear your struggles and insights, and makes me feel heard and less alone as an iadhd person, thank you so much. I can’t wait to read your new book

[@louisehorsfall9400]

This is immensely helpful because both parties in the dynamic are articulating so well. We don't always hear how our actions affect others.

[@tyruswatson2115]

I want to say Keep up the good work. I got your book yesterday! Congrats on the book and the baby! Blessings!

[@lynnbrooklyn1332]

I loved this and hope to see more with the two of you

[@kathykraut4491]

It's really useful to be honest with our own self in relationships. Understanding when our partners are in a situation of feeling frustrated and simply just need a hug instead of a solution is also something I've learnt to do in my relationships.

[@thelifedyslexic]

Wow, this help explain so much about certain behaviours last year with a work colleague. Trauma can have unforseen consequences in friendships, they can be difficult to explain and diffcult to ask for help with.

[@lowryfamily06fe]

This was very eye opening. Many of these I understood on some level but didn’t know how to vocalize it or understand the why. Some I really had not thought about and should have. Thank you for this video!

[@DorySewCrafty]

Your partnership is inspirational, your dedication & willingness to put in the hard work (worth it!) for a successful lifelong commitment, deep and ever growing love & selfless compassion is THE true recipe for relationship and parenting success. Parenthood will be the beautiful bonus for your happily ever afters. Wishing you ALL the best. Thank you for baring your souls, being brave in sharing the sometimes uncomfortable, so that we may learn and grow in our own neurodivergent lives. So grateful for you both. 💜🐠

[@Billyboicos]

This vid brings up so many good points! As someone who grew up with a caretaker complex, I'm practicing asking my loved ones if they want support and/or advice instead of just steamrolling them with advice

[@kevinjames6231]

This such a great conversation! Learned so much and can relate being ASD in a neurodivergent relationship of 30 years. Thank you so much for both your candid honesty!!

[@Smolbites]

I am AuDHD with C-PTSD and so is my partner, so I related a lot to this. Thank you for this video!

[@Lieferth]

Love this. I'm like, aha, yes exactly and nodding my head for the whole time. So much recognition ❤.

[@erinrj]

Thank you so much for making this video update the last one really helped me try and express myself in my relationship as the ADHD year with a neurotypical boyfriend 🖤 super helpful always

[@bluejay3917]

Just watched the video and took plenty of notes for myself and my fiance. Can't wait to work with him to build our relationship! Thanks for sharing, this means a lot :)

[@kateweatherwax2417]

So grateful for your transparency! ❤ I’ve totally done that with my husband about parenting when he didn’t get on board and I have a son diagnosed with NVLD and I became his everything for a while. It became a very enmeshed relationship that was really difficult to stop as he got older and it was less relevant for me to do as much for him. So glad you’re recognizing these complications before your sweet baby arrives!

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

I love this! Basically keeping an open mind and consideration for your partner and communication. You'll need this in your partnership as parents and beyond. My husband and I will celebrate 36 years and it's been a learning experience the whole way and still is as we approach retirement.

[@VermisTerrae]

This is just incredibly great

[@Caatje-op3jy]

I appreciate your relationship videos soooo much. I recognize myself in a lot of things you are saying and I learn something new everytime. Thanks you so much for the videos it really means a lot to see two neurodivergent people talk about their relationship openly ❤

[@reannamckee43]

Raff seems a lot more comfortable this time, glad things seem to be going well and good luck with the baby

[@dizzycat1983]

I realize now that my ADHD was definitely a contributing factor in my past abusive relationships

[@thepunisher9733]

Omg you guys are serious goals😊❤ being real and continuously learning and growing, i have also been doing, especially thanx to you Jessica 😊

[@wandering_rose]

Love your videos, will be interesting to see how much your (i assume planned) children navigate through life. Lucky they have you to guide them!