3 Times Wedding Officiants Should Get Out Of The Way During The Wedding Ceremony!

There are three crucial moments when the wedding officiant needs to step aside in the wedding ceremony. As officiants, we’re literally the centre of attention for almost the entire ceremony. I mean, there’s no need to hog the spotlight the entire time!
Hopefully, we keep our self-into in our opening comments down to a single sentence or two, and then our officiant speech is entirely about our couple. With our words, we’re doing our best to deflect everyone’s attention to who the whole day is really about. (Hint: it’s not us!)
In addition to our words, though, we can also send that signal with our bodies. Here are three moments in the ceremony when we can physically get out of the way and keep it all about our couple.
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[@unboringwedding]

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[@annlyons7435]

Mark, 2 questions… are we to assume that if the officiant is using a clip/lapel microphone like your video suggests, are we also to have a hand held microphone handy for the bride and groom to recite their vows? Also, who typically says their vows first, bride or groom. Is there a tradition for this? Thank you!

[@unboringwedding]

@@annlyons7435 Hi, Ann - thanks for your question! Yes that’s right! If I am set it up with a lapel mic, we have a handheld within reach if the couple are reading their own personal vows. According to tradition, the groom goes first in all wedding elements. Cheers!

[@jenattard4848]

Great advice. As a Celebrant we must remember the ceremony is about the couple! Get out of the way! Let the emotions shine through in their photos and not have them turning to looking at us.

[@Porterhauf]

I just wanted to say thank you. I just got ordained a couple of weeks ago so I can officiate a dear friend's wedding next year. Your videos have been incredibly helpful! I'm an awkward introvert, so this is amazing. You've made me feel much more prepared and comfortable!

[@adriennepichette5743]

Thank you so much for these tips! Officiated my first wedding recently and getting out of the “kiss” picture made all the difference in the world with the setting we were in. I would have ruined the shot otherwise and not even realized it. Thank you!!!

[@DerekBly57]

Hey, Mark. I hadn't thought about the first two moments, great suggestions. But I've always connected with photographers and advised them that I will be getting the heck out of the way when it's time for the kiss, so I'm not the creepy guy photobombing the scene. They always thank me and express their appreciation. I've heard horror stories from some photographers about marriage officiants who just stand there, sometimes doing embarrassing things, like scratching a nose or something. Now I'm going to get my face out of the way for those other two moments, too.

[@michael7324]

Great info Mark. I feel like this is fine tuning an already perfect ceremony. These small actions truly make a difference.

[@pearlvillanueva1519]

Hi Mark! Thank you very much for these vlogs. Getting married this September 2022, we're having a symbolic ceremony in Tuscany and our best friend is officiating for us. I learned so much from your videos. Thank you so so much!

[@georgeluna7232]

Dude, pulled it off this last Saturday in Palm Springs. Popped my cherry. I took some of your advice and put a twist to it. Lots of smiles, lots of compliments. Thanks.

[@donnappetit5966]

Great points! Obvious, now that you mention it, but I'm not sure i'd have thought of it! I'll finally, after a year and a half, get to officiate my friends' wedding in France in September (covid ...!) and cannot wait! We are back in full swing of planning; thank you for all your guidance!

[@craiglogan4108]

Another AMAZING video Mark! You are the epitome of class + professionalism. Thank you so much for always giving great advice and tips

[@natashapage1074]

This is so good, I’ve subscribed and bought your book! and you actually aren’t boring Mark! thanks for that!😊 I’m planning on training as a celebrant and it’s such a relief to know that I can even make a UK wedding fun with your tips! 😃….not really! I’m only joking UK celebrants who read this. Thanks Mark, I’ll be looking out for book 2!

[@markmontefiori255]

Thank you. Good stuff

[@BriannaEntrepreneur]

This really was helpful, as has been this whole channel. So much more goes into great officiating than I would have imagined. I’m officiating for a friend who is already married.

[@elisestearns-niesen9450]

Good advice! Thanks!

[@Iloverugby]

Excellent!!

[@fannyosorio4523]

Thank you so much

[@micheleercolani3819]

Fantastic advice!!

[@paulgroleau8081]

You look great Mark - totally enjoyed this video

[@tropicalblissbyjudithblair3603]

Great advice will definitely use them 👍

[@dannythewordmaster]

Really good advice, Mark. I have been standing close by during my couples’vows, and I see the wisdom in stepping to the side, especially during this part of the ceremony and as you said during the kiss. Your videos have helped me to raise my officiating to a higher level. I heard you use a term I’ve never heard before but I think it’s appropriate for our times… Marryer … It’s nice to go beyond the gender-specific terms of bride and groom. It would be helpful if you could include actual video footage of you physically demonstrating what you’re describing, in this case standing to the side. Even if you couldn’t get footage of one of your ceremonies maybe doing a mock ceremony demonstrating what you’re describing with a couple of actor friends stepping in. A picture is worth 1000 words as they say. I realize it would take extra time and energy to do this which you may not have being a very busy officiant. Regardless, I still find your instruction to be valuable and I thank you for offering it.

[@redpenshinobi]

Hey Mark, just finished your first book, when will the next one be released? Thanks for the great content.

[@keithb9774]

You added such tremendous value to my process. Thank you very much.

[@unboringwedding]

I’m so thrilled and honoured to hear that, Keith - thanks for taking the time to let me know!

[@nativedesignstudios]

Just did my first wedding this weekend and I wished I'd seen this video first! Thanks for the tips

[@MegaLegerdemain]

Hey Mark - thanks for the great content. If you were to officiate a wedding for a couple who are your friends and there is no wedding party (just you and the groom at the front), would you still step away from the groom during the processional?

[@Thessalin]

I did two weddings in 2020. I used all your advice. Thank you very much! I used this advice so much!

[@revllorlegit117]

From the first wedding I ever officiated, all of this was common sense to me. Have done many many weddings, always made it about cpl. This shld be obvious to any who take on this Privelege.

[@revllorlegit117]

Earlier comment NOT a criticism, just surprised that p wld not know these tips.

[@freddiemorales7835]

I love it .. very practical.. this will be my first time officiating a wedding.

[@unboringwedding]

Awesome stuff, Freddie! Congrats - and thanks for the comment!

[@shoommie852]

Thank you Mark for the useful tips! The wedding planner has asked that I stand on the side for the entire ceremony as officiant - I'm starting to think that looks awkward for certain moments - have you ever seen where the officiant stands on the side the entire ceremony?

[@kendraerving7022]

Hello just discovered your chanel. Just became an officiant in July and my verry first wedding is in September officiating my aunt and uncle. I'm actually a little nervous on wedding speech length given a 45minute time crunch. Any last minute tips to get some of the jitters out?? Thank you so much

[@annlyons7435]

Unboring!wedding - Mark Allan Groleau 2 questions… are we to assume that if the officiant is using a clip/lapel microphone like your video suggests, are we also to have a hand held microphone handy for the bride and groom to recite their vows? Also, who typically says their vows first, bride or groom. Is there a tradition for this? Thank you!

[@unboringwedding]

Hi, Ann - thanks for your question! Yes that’s right! If I am set it up with a lapel mic, we have a handheld within reach if the couple are reading their own personal vows. According to tradition, the groom goes first in all wedding elements. Cheers!

[@spectraamunari9059]

Great video! That short is your color!!

[@wb4ttoinnc]

I average over 20 wedings a year, on ones where PA is being used or video is being recorded / streamed I use at least 1 wireless mic, which is clipped on the upper edge (nearest the couple) of my binder, If one or both of the couple are very soft spoken, I may put (or have a lady put) a wireless mike on that party. No microphone to handle, move or thrust into the middle of any part of the ceremony. If the couple is reading vows, I close my binder, and step behind the taller of the couple, but stay close enough so the microphone will still pick up their voices. I have done the " step aside before the kiss" maneuver for years, BUT I let the couple, photographer and videographer all know to expect it.

[@k.r.hayman4633]

USE A 'MIC STAND' WHEN THEY DAY THEIR VOWS!!!!