Humanity probably terrifies the rest of the galaxy

Music:
• Agile Warrior F-111X O...

[@zapp5er284]

>see an alien >blow air on alien >the alien dies >life is good

[@FelidaeEnjoyer]

Actual dragons' breath

[@billyjoesmth4442]

but what if it was just a green cat with antennas

[@Capn_Obed_Marsh]

That's the plot of War of the Worlds

[@nexusclonenumber2147]

@@billyjoesmth4442 water

[@CyanRooper]

Fart on aliens instead for +5 poison damage.

[@thermite547]

We joke about the cosmic horrors beyond our comprehension, but what if we are the cosmic horrors beyond their comprehension

[@Galimeer5]

Maybe the real cosmic horrors beyond our comprehension were the friends we made along the way

[@smmk88]

More believable honestly

[@gimmeyourrights8292]

Imagine if there's an H.P. Lovecraft kinda guy but he's an alien. The Cosmic horror Eldritch gods names are just regular human names with more apostrophes.

[@kaikart123]

​@@gimmeyourrights8292imagine a four eyes god called "Nigel"

[@gimmeyourrights8292]

@@kaikart123 *Two eyes

[@collinmclaren6608]

"The Death Breathers" actually sounds metal af

[@viniciusgoulart5077]

"Their atmosthere is made of rocket fuel"

[@CrayonEater2003]

Makes me think of the Helghast from Killzone

[@manwithgun9768]

Space marine chapter material

[@jester9159]

@@manwithgun9768 Immediately sought out this comment!! LOL

[@jordiveratriay1563]

​@@manwithgun9768a nurgle worshipers warband

[@godssilliestclown8862]

The researcher assigned to monitor a newly discovered species of sapient primates on some backwater watching as they weaponize atomic fission before they even invented solar panels:

[@Shadest]

And then they invent space travel before solar panels too

[@intergalacticbobcat6185]

*BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!* *SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!*

[@Redguns4life]

Observer: High researcher! Terrible news, the Terrans have discovered how to harness the power of the sun! High Researcher: So? Solar power isn't that threatening, its one of the most primitive power sources in the galaxy. I'm surprised it took them this lo- Observer: No sir, they discovered HOW to create a simulacrum of a sun.

[@sirpixel7945]

The researcher watching as the primitive primates go from archaic and old inefficient muskets to weapons capable of leveling the planet in just 150 solar-rotations

[@RipRLeeErmey]

​@@Redguns4life *nuclear explosion footage* "... For about a single second on the surface of their planet." "Dear, heavens...."

[@timmylaptopgaming]

War of the worlds aliens went there. They all died

[@slimeinabox]

They died because they didn’t get a vaccine. Our world is a cess pit of fire and filth, and then humans happened.

[@herpderp3916]

They got killed off by the common Earth cold, iirc. Though in a way it just makes the story scarier. Up until that point the Martians were *steamrolling* Earth's defenses, it was only a tiny fluke of biology that saved us.

[@XaldirGodofGood]

Able to Master FTL Travel Has no Clue about Microbiology mfw

[@timmylaptopgaming]

@@herpderp3916 I wonder how the aliens got to the point built giant machines able to travel to planets lightyears away, just to goof out and breathe and eat on another planet without knowing the microbes

[@nousvivons6270]

To be his honest, they were also death breathers and had no problem in consuming flaming flesh

[@ColonelSanders17]

"Plus if you piss em off, they'll use a weapon that summons the core of a star"

[@Lancefh_ENV]

"'And that's not just a one off wonder weapon. They have THOUSANDS OF THEM."

[@yondaime500]

To be fair, an alien civilization that has the ability to send a ship here can do way worse than any bomb we have. All they'd have to do is not decelerate, and let kinetic energy do its thing.

[@lsswappedcessna]

We use a weapon that summons the core of a star in order to make the other part of the weapon more efficient. Yep, fusion bombs are just overclocked fission bombs that use neutrons generated by a miniature fucking sun to make the fission warhead utilize more of its fissile material instead of blowing it all away.

[@joseocasio3740]

​@@yondaime500then they too will be destroyed

[@cloudcatcher263]

@@joseocasio3740 Hear me out, leaving the ship before it crashes... or autopilot

[@RogueMage50]

on a planet full of horror and death I still need to work a 9 to 5

[@webpombo7765]

It's part of the horror

[@CountingStars333]

You guys get to work a 9-5? Lucky. I'm on 9-10

[@kaikart123]

Part and parcel

[@jesssuspiria2131]

​@@CountingStars333 Are you working 1 hour or 13?

[@THECHEESELORD69]

@@jesssuspiria2131both at the same time.

[@sparklepawz1185]

Random alien researcher finding a planet full of sapient life that drinks poison for fun, creates simulations of war that their children enjoy playing, and who’s most popular works of fiction include a galaxy wide domination/genocide of other life forms: “holy fuck never interact with these things. Ever.”

[@tylercathey]

holy shit ur right we are evil LMAOOO

[@bfaam4334]

I love Spore!

[@noahrafter-lanigan2409]

Dune AND Star Wars both fall into that lmao

[@K9L_IA]

For civilization that could research us it would look like watching ants fighting one another, not really a danger just fun they can squish whenever

[@thatguy6482]

​@@noahrafter-lanigan2409And here I was thinking he was talking about WH40K

[@TheBoxGhost_tm]

And I thought "I Ejaculate Fire" was the funniest but most metal thing humans did.

[@user-pt5xc1pp4z]

If you ejaculate fire I think that means you got an STD lol

[@LeeGoGators]

You should get that checked out and call any partners you’ve had recently

[@leviathan574]

​@@LeeGoGators Actually it's a Metalocalypse reference. 🤓

[@DrKurapikaIsDrowning]

Not radiation?

[@UndergroundLookingUp]

This is what the last two generations called "The Drip" congrats! Its not style! It's Gonorrhea!

[@dueinuremom5082]

“Hey let’s drop our ships into low orbit, really freak out these primitives” - glixack the foolish, mere moments before he was vaporized in atomic hellfire

[@TuberMad]

Meanwhile, in Roswell; "GREYS BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!!"

[@noahrafter-lanigan2409]

Still convinced the US has a massive, interstellar version of the "Rods of God" to use on a hostile alien planet or something, or at least they definitely have schematics lmao

[@dueinuremom5082]

@@noahrafter-lanigan2409 the rods of god were so we could have weapons of mass destruction without violating international treaties. Unfortunately for aliens, there are no such laws stopping us from just nuking them back to the Stone Age.

[@happyjohn354]

@@noahrafter-lanigan2409 Casaba Howitzer basically a giant atomic explosively formed penetrator. We designed that shit in the 1960's

[@jimskywaker4345]

@@happyjohn354 and accidentally built one using a manhole cover.

[@gramfero]

> spit on alien lifeform > it starts dissolving >

[@crowgrabber_former_er5bb8yb2t]

>steal it's wallet >profit

[@69camiloo]

Funny you said that, many scientists have theorized that our saliva from an evolutionary standpoint, can potentially turn dangerous or poisonous in the future.

[@frankaoooooooooooooooooooooooo]

>cook its dissolved pieces >tastes like pig >gross texture

[@I-Stole-Your-Toast700]

@@crowgrabber_former_er5bb8yb2t Okay but how much would the alien's money be worth, for all we know 1000 alien bucks in 5 human bucks

[@crowgrabber_former_er5bb8yb2t]

@@I-Stole-Your-Toast700 how hyper-inflated is the space economy?

[@mrbones9332]

"Why not? It could be interesting." "Flarp, the last guy who went is dead." "What?? Did... did he breathe in the death?" "No, they *fucking mummified him* Flarp."

[@MooniLocket]

That reminds me of this one type of paint we used to make that was made out of mummies. And I think I heard something about people having used to eat mummies too, but I'm not too sure about that.

[@Idkpleasejustletmechangeit]

@@MooniLocket people ate mummies, because they thought it could heal them of literally every injury/sickness.

[@EvilGremlin100]

FFS Flarp.. sick of that guys shit..

[@Wepawnet]

@@Idkpleasejustletmechangeit It comes in a can- The *;'-Mellified Man-';*

[@COMPYCUBE]

@@Idkpleasejustletmechangeit So thats what the British dipped in their tea in the past!

[@maninthesnow4393]

Imagine 500 years into the future we find out aliens are real, and they been avoiding us because they think were batshit nsane.

[@bucketgaming2]

reasonable on their side of things, we are fucking insane

[@niten1ryu]

next meteor hits in 250 unfortunately

[@TheRepublicOfDixionconderoga]

Reasonable, we are

[@egg00737]

even humans think humans are batshit insane

[@iexist_nt]

​@@niten1ryuno?

[@grugmangaming5152]

meanwhile on a different arm of the galaxy: "globnark probably terrifies the rest of the galaxy"

[@Unfortunate_developement]

globnark eats a strictly vegetarian diet in an arm of the galaxy that consists of sentient plants

[@TuberMad]

HAH! Fuckin' Globnarks... ...as _if!_

[@HJ28_398]

​@@Unfortunate_developement Space racism! What you're is like humans being ethically horrified of sentient plants eating mice. Let the globnarks be and stop generalising plant people!😠 jk Not all plants look the same! 🗣 Not all plants look the same! 🗣 Not all plants look the same! 🗣

[@theapexsurvivor9538]

And meanwhile the Melhyteanes one galaxy over: Every other species is going to love being our friends! *Melhyteanes respire Hydrogen Sulfide, secrete Hydrogen Chloride, salivate Sulphuric Acid, and use C16H18ClN3S for bark pigmentation, traits which make them highly desirable for symbiotic relationships on their planet (and basically walking death factories to 90% of alien species)*

[@VeryPeeved]

Maybe everyone thinks they'd be terrifying to aliens. And maybe they're all right.

[@thumpfump2268]

I never buy the whole “aliens would hate us if they travelled to meet us” like bruh there’s no way a civilization creates interstellar travel without some major baggage

[@tomdarby4906]

not a lot of people get that

[@fabrypetty1689]

They'd be either impressed at our low killcount or amazed at outr destructive power in general

[@tomdarby4906]

@@fabrypetty1689 can see that going either way. I think the human equivalent would be like taking a long journey in the wild. no people or sign of civilization for days, a completely virgin wild. then all of the sudden you come to a clearing where there is a circle of 9 chimpanzees surrounding a basket of hand grenades. You arrive as the first chimp figures out how to pull the pin

[@thesithofearth3617]

​@@fabrypetty1689i wouldnt be suprised if they saw our nukes like how we see Greek fire

[@sayerglasgow115]

It's a product of the "truth is stranger than fiction" phenomena. Since we have yet to meet any real aliens (that I know of at least), any aliens in these scenarios are imaginary, and it's kinda hard to imagine anything as weird as real life earth. Our brains are wired to desire structure, consistency, and logic, and so unless we go out of our way not to, our imaginary constructions tend to have a lot more of those things than real life, and thus, our imaginary aliens are a lot more "normal" than our real earth. What I'm trying to say is that any alien world and any alien species is probably every bit as weird as Earth, just in different ways. They've probably got life forms as improbable-sounding as those in australia. There's probably a segment of their population with fixations just as strange as any deviantart fetish. They've probably done something just as deranged as detonating nuclear explosives in their own biosphere. And as for an "atmosphere made of rocket fuel" and "biological fire"..... Chemical based life requires reactive chemicals so even if the aliens have a completely different makeup than Earth's life forms, you can bet its still going to include reactive and potentially dangerous substances.

[@MrMandude365]

My favorite theory is since everything evolves into crabs, most aliens have exoskeletons. So if they ever came to earth they’d all be like “Oh, God! Why are they inside out?!”

[@webpombo7765]

WE ENJOY THE THRILL OF BEING EASILY GUTTED AT ANY MOMENT

[@valentinmitterbauer4196]

There are several "for ever" models in evolution, not just crab. Watch how most things living in water become fish-shaped (ichtyosaurs, whales, seals, Philliroe, etc.) due to aquadynamics or how many burrowing mammals go full hedgehog (echidna, tenrec, porcupine, hedgehog).

[@moteroargentino7944]

@valentinmitterbauer4196 All of those animals (and many more): "Hey, if it works, it works."

[@wilhelmburned]

"Take a look at the Fallen!"

[@dynomitejec]

​@@moteroargentino7944 that made me picture Todd Howard as a mole-man "it just works" as he burrows into his basement dungeon.

[@borger1723]

"Death breather" is way cooler sounding than "conscience meatsuit"

[@bearman_1826]

"Conscious meatsuit" is pretty cool too, imo.

[@Mr-bw7yi]

_Flesh automatons_

[@kingoietro99]

A meat machine with a control organ so developed that results in consciousness is pretty rad actually

[@coIlgnu]

​@@Mr-bw7yianimated by neurotransmitters

[@bearman_1826]

@@coIlgnu Power in misery

[@BlockedUser1]

This makes Humanity sound fucking rad, actually.

[@AntiKira20]

Because we are. We're the raddest dudes in the galaxy, and you're a rad dude a part of a larger group of rad dudes.

[@distorted_heavy]

We always have been, it's just that some people don't want you to know

[@mrseriousv1]

humans are the coolest things out there of course.

[@RaptorJesus]

Don't forget, we also *eat and drink* poison because it makes us feel funny. That's booze and peppers. We're all collectively insane, we just don't recognize it because it's our species' defining trait.

[@enriquejoseantequerasanche6180]

My good man, we conquered the planet both because we are the smartest...and the toughest. The normal way to hunt, before the invention of traps or ranged weapons that could kill in one shot, was to chase animals until they collapsed, because we really are that tough.

[@floridaman6995]

How Stellaris aliens see xenophobe runs:

[@AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEIOU]

Stellaris Xenos watching as I add in the Gargantuan Quasarcraft mod (Walalah, their finished!)

[@bhallubhaiya]

The Human envoy has to be the most raddest fucking diplomat on the GalCom

[@the13inquisitor59]

Let's be xenophobic... It's really in this year...

[@WaveOfDestiny]

Aliens spying on us watching humans meticolously craft the most horrifying genocide in stellaris for fun, then wanking off looking at one of the pictures of a species

[@adamflyshotmail]

"They breathe OXYGEN!?!? THAT'S THE BURNING GAS!"

[@sovietunion7643]

this is like how the grunts in halo literally breathe methane gas

[@SauronforSupremeOverlord]

@@sovietunion7643 grunts meeting marines for the first time:

[@FleshWizard69420]

​@@sovietunion7643 brap breathers

[@sovietunion7643]

@@FleshWizard69420 never use the internet again

[@infamouspotato2028]

​@@sovietunion7643Fart breathers for real

[@muszyn.]

reminds me of the whole "humans are space orks" thing internet did few years back, how our spacefaring technology is literally strapping explosives to big chunks of metal

[@mickyflint]

That's still going

[@goldengryphon]

@@mickyflint Never stopped. Humans are persistence hunters, after all. And how else to you make the boom big enough to throw man into space?

[@Cl-2048]

project orion

[@mickyflint]

@@goldengryphon I meant the space orks fascination not the strapping explosives thing.

[@_d--]

@@mickyflint yeah i too like strapping explosives things you are on point on that one

[@asmcint]

"That which brings you death gives me life even as it kills me too" is probably the most metal thing we could say on first contact if this is true.

[@bozo6049]

Not to mention basically our whole existence has been War.

[@cburn-YT]

makes good practice

[@bearman_1826]

Such is the life of... well, life.

[@Neon-Puritan]

We're so metal.

[@dynomitejec]

"Though man had succeeded in destroying the world... war, war never changes." One thing about this to me is would the fight for self preservation, like caveman would do just him/her and their babies to protect, would that be considered war if its not coordinated or caused but just happens in nature.

[@specterknight0542]

Truly a "War without a reason" Good thing we havent invented a giant walking sentient carrying town robot with a laser javelin yet, amirite?

[@eg_manifest510]

"leave the DEATH BREATHERS in peace" sounds like such an oxymoron, ain't nothing peaceful about what's going on here

[@AbadonXXX]

Imagine aliens considering this planet as a legitimate death world

[@ryanalving3785]

The thing about a deathworld is you never know you live on one until you finally leave.

[@kaikart123]

Yea, to add on the video, we also have pretty high gravity, also full of liquid that eats metals.

[@Skarrier]

Interestingly enough, that might be the case. I think there's two types of death worlds: ones with natural conditions so harsh that almost no life can emerge, and the others are so comfortable for life to flourish that they breed countless horrifying species of animals, plants and bacteria/viruses. I think we may be the second type.

[@TheMightyNaryar]

To us, the only haven of life in an incredibly hostile universe. To them, choking, death and toxins everywhere. Context is everything

[@megan00b8]

That's like the plot of half the HFY stories. Some of them are even pretty good!

[@bunsenn5064]

Imagine meeting a race of creatures made from a group of chemical compounds that originate from hydrogen cyanide, and breathe a highly reactive gas that oxidizes their insides, and absorb energy from other creatures by crushing up their flesh and breaking it down in a pool of concentrated acid inside of them. They also have created several thousand miniature replicas of the sun that could wipe the face of their planet six times over.

[@VoiceOfTheEmperor]

Wow. Like looking in a highly advanced mirror!

[@xislomega242]

Oxidation doesn't have to be interpreted as slow burning, it can also be interpreted as rusting. We rust from before we're even born until we decompose into the soil. Slow burning is still a better POV, since rust is usually associated with iron.

[@The9thMonth]

I prefer the word "oxidation", but "rusting" sounds more metal. Pun intended.

[@danolantern6030]

Slow burning is still accurate, since we utilize it for energy.

[@DoktorSwag69]

From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh

[@LongClawzHidden]

@@DoktorSwag69 IRON WITHIN, IRON WITHOUT

[@tiagobelo4965]

Blood transfers oxygen by having it bind with the iron in hemoglobin. We are only alive because our blood is constantly rusting

[@ardugaleen2231]

So sick of the humanity is weak trope, it's either that or we're superadvanced. Why isn't there more humanity is fucking unhinged and the galaxy is scared of us

[@therealgeneralMacArthur]

We need more stories where humans are just the space equivalent of menaces to society

[@slueepy1232]

Humanity in Halo is all 3 of those tropes at the same time

[@ardugaleen2231]

@@therealgeneralMacArthur fucking real

[@personthing88]

Brother read HFY they got some awesome “The Galaxy is scared of Humans”

[@ChartreuseDan]

There's plenty of that, you just don't know where to look. Two recommendations are the sci fi original TV series farscape, and the graphic novel Humanity Lost

[@Easttowest45]

We were born to inherit the stars! We were born to inherit the stars! We were born to inherit the stars! We were born to inherit the stars!

[@tabletgenesis3439]

*drives toward sun* "Dene NW-SW, e'!" "WE WERE BORN TO INHERIT THE STARS!" "Ro! RO! RO! L'eij greh! L'eij bfroka greh!" "WE WERE BORN TO INHERIT THE STARS!" "BFROKI! DÍ GRERE! DÍ GRERE!" *the other-languager coughs reaaally loudly and dies* "WE WERE BORN TO INHERIT THE STARS!" "Sp'j! *nitrogenates fire* f'g'h!" *front half of the space jet burns, and the rest disintegrates into coal*

[@Lokitellus]

FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING EMPEROR!

[@Lurkfish-nm4yc]

Stupid dialogue

[@MrGermandeutsch]

@@Lurkfish-nm4yc damn :(

[@Shoutatclouds]

Good GOOD! WE ARE THE HORROR THAT KEEPS GREATERR HORRORS AT BAY!

[@Shoutatclouds]

The real horror is my small spelling mistake

[@simoniguess27]

maybe the real horror is the friends we made along the way

[@FelidaeEnjoyer]

@@Shoutatclouds What, rolling your R? That's just hot

[@webpombo7765]

​@@simoniguess27 Actually, the real horror is Ä̵͈̥͈͚̤͈̹͓̥̭̲̪̲̜̲͈͖̫̲̹̞̹͍̼͔̩͚̘̼̼̆͂̒̃͂͘͜͜ͅͅv̸̛̛̝̏̈̿̆̈́̉͆̒̈́̆͋̒̂̀̀̈́̽̀̅̍̄̀̌̆̎̽̈̑͘̕̚̚͝͝͝͝͝à̸̧̨̻͖̱͍̠̰͔͓̖̯͇̿̎͛́̕ͅǘ̵̡̨̱̘̫̦̰̫̟̙̭̩̗̫̥̩̻̱̼͍̹̩̱̬̔́̈͒̊̋̀͋̈̆̓̋̄̒͊̃̈́̎̈́̀̽̀͊̕͜͜͜͝v̴̢̧̛̛̪͇͓͚̣̤͚̱͙̩̲̣̱̙̪̬̙͎̭̹͙̘͔͂̉̆̆͒̈́̐̃́̍͋͊̇̅̉̔͗̽́̈́̌̔͌̕̕͠͝F̸͙͎͓͍̯̗̲̦̘̹̼̮̫̀̐͑͆͑͋̆̌͐̓͗̔͘͘͜ͅw̴̝͈͚͖̙̤̲̓̃̀͋̇̈́̓̆̉ḩ̶͎͍̻̜̜͎̞̟͙͇̣̲̮̟̻̜̹̭̈́̑̂́͐̅̂̀̅̄͑̕͜V̶̨̢̧̘͍̺̪̺̜̤̯̻̱̜͚̪͚͍͓̼̯̻͌̾̉̾̔̍̆̑̀̈́̔̒͐͆̄̚͘͜ͅG̴̡̤̖̯̮̞̮̱͛͒͂̄̍̊̅͐̿̑͂̃̏͋̀͂́͂̍̎̎̚h̷̢̢̛̥̰͉̖͔̞̹̟̮̰̫̪̮̭͕̼͓͙̼̘͐̀͒͂̒̍̒̉̉̽̈́̑͑̊̓͒́̒̀͐͒͗̑̈́̆̂̏͛̈́̋͗̚̕͜͝͠͠͠ͅͅa̸̢̹̠͚̻̪͔̻̜̯̪͎͖̖͕̝̠̙̩̫̻̖̠̍͂̏̆̄͌͊͂̿̊̈́̊̀͑͗̄́̈́̉̍̉̎̊͆̉͑͘͘͜͜͝

[@abbadullreee3298]

WE ARE THE BULWARK AGAINSTS THE TERROR

[@Wstydzie]

Imagine your very breath being death for aliens

[@intergalacticbobcat6185]

That’s Metal AF

[@user-pt5xc1pp4z]

LIVING DEATH!

[@fatman157]

You acheive a similar effect on fellow humans by not brushing your teeth and speaking to them in close proximity

[@Umbra_Ursus]

Pretty much "War of the Worlds", and Tali'Zorah's people, I think.

[@Stoic_Zoomer]

There a story I read called deathworlders where a human was captured and when he was being interrogated he spit in the alien's face and the bacteria in our spit killed the alien lol.

[@Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq.]

The ancient Romans believed there was a fire that burned within your chest and that, upon death, it was extinguished as the soul departed the body. In a way, they weren't wrong; it just wasn't the uncontrolled thermal reaction they imagined it to be: it was highly efficient and cellularly-localized metabolism. It still uses oxygen and still "burns" chemical bonds for energy so, it counts.

[@TheRepublicOfDixionconderoga]

Don’t forget that it produces heat too

[@uwuowo8081]

​@@TheRepublicOfDixionconderoga...further solidifying the idea of burning

[@derigel9783]

And thats where the "Humans are Space-Orcs"-Trope comes from.

[@joseberger7737]

the great oxidation event was when oxygen got into our atmospheres the event killed 90% of all life, they did not rely on oxygen and so had no defenses against it

[@rhobeans]

There’s a LOT of people who are Dunning Krugering their understanding of basic biology/chemistry in the original tumblr post, but basically Oxygen is generally not preferable for metabolism in life forms. We would not be breathing oxygen if A. There weren’t a bunch of highly successful bacteria that produced a shit ton of oxygen and B. There wasn’t already enough life to the point that some could adapt to process it and survive. The bacteria producing O2 literally caused a mass extinction and pretty much everything that exists today are the descendants that happened to adapt. It’s crazy not efficient to process oxygen but when the alternative is being poisoned by oxygen you take what you can get. Yes, oxidation occurs but it is not “rusting” you or “lighting you on fire.” Because obviously it’s not. What the oxygen does while it’s being processed by your system is that is causes cellular damage which your dna can compensate for (telomeres), typically for a number of decades until finally it’s shielding is gone and stuff actually starts getting damaged which causes symptoms of aging. Eventually your body can’t repair or fight cancer and THATS what kills you. When someone “dies of old age” it’s pretty much just cancer of some kind causing stress on the system that shuts things down. Oxygen doesn’t kill you, cellular damage that’s a result of many things including processing oxygen does.

[@doomsdoor]

I remember reading a 2020 article about some retrotransposition stuff and that in 35% of cancers tested there is evidence of the retrot event(s) happening which I think I remember reading is where a almost virus like piece of dna that injects itself into cells dna and duplicates itself and eventually it puts itself inside some important gene for tumor suppression

[@doomsdoor]

Line-1 retrotransposition being the most common or something

[@Michaelfatman-xo7gv]

Blah, blah, blah. We're on fire.

[@rhobeans]

@@Michaelfatman-xo7gv that is the exact opposite of what this says

[@tinytrinket7082]

I'm curious, why is oxygen super sub optimal for metabolism? What other molecules would be better?

[@FeeNixBeech]

This is one of my favorite memes. LONG LIVE THE DEATH BREATHERS!

[@OMNISSIAH-VERY-GREAT]

gloria hominibus!

[@BM-13_KATYUSHA]

They actually made hazmat suits and prepared to make first contact but then they saw how we fight each other and finally gave up when they realised that they're not protected by the Geneva convention.

[@sabikikasuko6636]

*Their atmosphere is made of rocket fuel" is a hilarious and terrifying way to put it LMAOOOO

[@TheAussieBlue]

It occurs to me that the opposite of HFY is not merely that humans are weak and put upon by powerful aliens. The opposite of HFY is Lovecraft, for HFY is a illogical premise taken to it's extreme of humans being much, much scarier than we really are. Therefore, the opposite is also taken to a ridiculous extreme, and hence the greatest extreme of humanity's infinite insignificance in the face of alien powers is Lovecraft. Side note, I just played two hours of Fallen London and I cannot stop typing in such a manner. Please send help.

[@oddcrafter1270]

Try playing Stardew Valley. That should work as an antidote.

[@mr.textwall5327]

Interestingly enough, these extremes are not mutually exclusive but harmonic instead. HFY would explain the presense of interdimensional big shots on Earth while Lovecraftian colossi give a different perspective to humanity's "exceptional" existence.

[@Arlong39]

Funnily enough, the Fallen London universe is both of these. The universe is ruled by a godlike race who gets to choose what can and cannot exist, and they couldn’t care less about our existence. But we can also go HFY and bring down beings greater than us, even the aforementioned gods, granted you’ll need lots of resources and networking but it’s completely doable.

[@happyjohn354]

I remember reading a story once about how other alien species at even a young age could use "magic" and break the laws of physics as we know them at a whim but lost that ability in the presence of humans. All it takes for this to happen is for the human to be in the vicinity of said "magic" and then reality where we are observing becomes ironclad at least to how humans believe it should be.

[@G0RSHK0V]

@@happyjohn354 I need the title

[@Saltier]

Idea: Alien empires use oxygen as a weapon to gas entire planets.

[@lsswappedcessna]

humans: "Hey, alien empire that uses oxygen to gas entire planets, we declare war. Please don't come oxygenate our planet. Please? It would totally suck, and we would totally hate you forever for it!" aliens: *oxygenate earth and take away excess CO2* humans: "We breathe oxygen and that excess CO2 was all pollution, also we aren't gonna fight you because it's a waste of our time. Get fucked lol" aliens: "well shit"

[@webpombo7765]

And then we're like "Ooh, breathable atmosphere!" and colonize the newly habitable planet

[@julianlowrise4981]

@@lsswappedcessna Unfortunately there is such a thing as too much oxygen.

[@Slaraffus2750]

@@lsswappedcessna With too much oxygen, everything will spontaneously combust. Or something like that. I'm not read up on my chemistry, haven't needed it since hs.

[@Dullest_el_espantahumanos]

@@Slaraffus2750 not combust instantaneously but the fires would be much more violent and the creatures would be bigger or some crap like that ,I wouldn’t wanna see a spider the size of my head ,a fly the size of an apple or a centipedes the length of a car

[@CamoGuy76239]

"They recreationally consume poison..." Hey! What I drink after work is MY OWN BUSINESS!... Well, at least it used to be...

[@gimmeyourrights8292]

Alien 1: Hey Varp, what do those primates on that backwater planet do for fun? Alien 2: I'm glad you asked, I downloaded some of their entertainment into my subconscious, so let's found out. "SUFFER NOT SO THE XENO WILL LIVE!" "WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE???" 🎶THEY ARE THE MEN IN BLACK🎶 "EXTERMINATE!" *Sounds of sci-fi universes blaring their minds* Alien 1: TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF! Both Aliens sit there mortified. Both: What....the....FUCK!

[@LordDanielG]

Imagine a galactic war starts and humans will be just known as "Death breathers" best PR a unit can have

[@GrimmDawn8487]

If they're scared of oxygen, wait till they find out about the ACTUALLY flammable stuff

[@Galimeer5]

Most things that are flammable are flammable because of oxygen. Combustion is a chemical reaction that requires oxygen. You can't have fire without oxygen.

[@Sarratomania13]

@@Galimeer5 You most definately can have combustion without oxygen, all you need is a strong enough oxidizer (which to be fair tends to at least contain oxygen atoms). For example, hydrogen and acetylene combust spontaneously in the presence of elemental chlorine, which acts as the oxidizer. Addtionally, if a substance is a strong enough reducing agent, it may even be able to burn in the presence of tipically inert molecules. One such case is magnesium metal, which can burn in complete absence of oxygen, using instead carbon dioxide or even water as an oxidizer.

[@mrseriousv1]

@@Galimeer5 fluorine.

[@mauretaniafan1133]

@@Sarratomania13 correcting a correction

[@Legendary_Detective-Wobbuffet]

Like flour. *Shivers

[@user-pt5xc1pp4z]

I am living death, I am a fire breather, I am the doom of xenos.

[@OMNISSIAH-VERY-GREAT]

FOR THE EMPEROR!

[@VoiceOfTheEmperor]

​@@OMNISSIAH-VERY-GREAT "Less shouting, more fighting, Brother!" *Tosses you another canister of promethium.*

[@sauronplugawy3866]

In other words, humans are the space orcs/deamons. And that's rad as fuck.

[@jeffreymacmullin1653]

Actually Humans were made in gods image and aliens weren't. They are the space demons.

[@thelouster5815]

“Billions must die” should be our policy for interstellar politics.

[@SalamiMilk]

So the notion that the air we need to live and breathe is the same stuff other planets would consider poison, is a very gnarly thought. What others would consider poison, we call a necessity to live. We have the ability to heal from universal poisons. Pretty metal, if you ask me.

[@RonnieNichols]

This is pretty funny, but the science behind some of this is really interesting! Way back when some upstart microbes started photosynthesizing, the oxygen they produced was quite literally toxic to most life on earth, resulting in one of the biggest early mass extinctions. The metabolic processes that cells use to produce energy, aerobic respiration, is indeed the same chemical reaction as fire, which is why doing high-energy activities warms up the body. This is somewhat harmful, as it produces free radicals that can degrade biological material, but its the most efficient way to produce energy for a cell on earth, which is why nearly all multicellular life is aerobic. Plus antioxidants are either produced or consumed by the cell to ward off damage. Due to things like chemistry and physics, its extremely unlikely for life to develop and not be primarily carbon-based, which in turn means its unlikely for complex alien life to produce energy aside from aerobic respiration. And lastly, if aliens do any kind of recreational drugs, that counts as consuming poision recreationally, though their drugs will likely be _very_ different from ours and have different effects on us (or none at all), and vice versa. If aliens were to consider us horrifying for consuming something toxic to them, it would probably be something like raspberries, while they might need to consume something like heroine as a necessary nutrient.

[@hisazuryuzen6761]

"those who traversed their plains, or skies, has always ended up creating such a large ordeal for themselves. Humanity, an intelligent civilization has always been extremely curious. They will not forget your presence once they have witnessed you. Do not let their eyes see you. Or you may doom our kind."

[@VoiceOfTheEmperor]

Where's that from?

[@tommyvercetti5112]

"They blow things up... for FUN?!"

[@iexist_nt]

what makes this even funnier is how you probably know a friend who has a pyromaniac friend

[@_d--]

We make games around death and war for our pups amusement

[@MooniLocket]

Ka-Boom.

[@zoebrugg7594]

(Looks at fireworks)

[@riverman6462]

Dark Forest Theory? More like Dark Days Ahead for anyone not born a human 😭 💀

[@tiagobelo4965]

Me on my way to show the aliens that is was humanity that was made in god's image

[@Gmann2021]

@@tiagobelo4965 for super earth!

[@sovietunion7643]

the emperor of mankind was on youtube i guess ☠

[@riverman6462]

@@sovietunion7643 Dont know when he was born, but if its anytime after 2010, you bet your ass he was on youtube

[@comradestarbucks2726]

First contact officially will be made when a human ship is stopped for not meeting safety standards.

[@MrHathaway1337]

Don't forget we have potential to recover from some pretty extreme injuries. We went from steam power in about 200 years to where we are now. They are right to be at the least concerned if not cautious of what our potential can be.

[@Hvvb-lf2nd]

Following your logic,iron rust is basically iron on fire,yet when i touch iron rust,my hand doesnt catch fire

[@benhamster]

Fun fact: There is such a thing as pyrophoric iron. It will combust on contact with air and is a byproduct of some industrial processes.

[@Michaelfatman-xo7gv]

Can make a form of black powder with rust substituting for sulphur.

[@lector-dogmatixsicarii1537]

>Latent death fire Aluminum powder and a magnesium sparkler have entered the chat. Joobsnorg: "I am going to put this fire out." Humans: **intense handheld camcorder action**

[@Kickiusz]

This is my favourite solution to the Fermi paradox.

[@cruelangel7737]

Me too.

[@thesalvager3020]

The aliens have their own Sci-Fi horror genre, revolving around a human invasion of their planet and our unimaginable power to breathe death gas.

[@MrRaui]

Biological Fire makes for an awesome band or album name.

[@Michaelfatman-xo7gv]

So does Syphilis.

[@NameIsDoc]

I adore that old valve sfx is used in memes and movies these days

[@donovangordon1062]

This absolutely reeks of Warhammer 40k vibes, and I love it ❤

[@LNgKhoi]

I think there's a whole book series that has setting similar to this, that Earth is super uninhabitable, and humans are practically super monsters compared to the rest of the galaxy. Edit: anybody knows the name?

[@Trexmaster12]

So why aren't we conquering the rest of the known universe and beyod, then? This isn't the social darwinism we've signed up for...

[@sauronplugawy3866]

​@@Trexmaster12 You see, humanity are like Skaven. We are able to make God look in terror as we create unimaginable machines of death and destruction that would crush anything and everything the aliens would throw at us, unfortunately, we are too busy murdering eachother to dominate the universe.

[@michielwitteveen6676]

@@Trexmaster12 because we dont have good spacetravel yet (if only we hadnt shelved project Orion)

[@TheAussieBlue]

the only one I know of is Jenkinsverse. Problem is that those web novels are written by different authors so QUALITY VARIES WILDLY.

[@denifnaf5874]

Theres a lot of hfy stories about deathworlders and "hoo'mans"

[@Redguns4life]

>tfw we're considered the Krogan of the galaxy.

[@Lokitellus]

this isn’t fucking 4chan dude

[@Redguns4life]

@@Lokitellus >tfw this [REDACTED]

[@VoiceOfTheEmperor]

We're worse.

[@toxiccan175]

Beware the carbon-based lifeforms

[@lonelyshpee7873]

"What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?" That's just Kengan Omega logic. "Just don't breathe lol" - Shen Wulong, The Connector.

[@calebwatson5102]

I like to think the reason why any extraterrestrial life hasn’t fully revealed itself is because our planet, if not our solar system, is an interplanetary or even intergalactic no-fly zone, not because we breathe oxygen, but because we are so incredibly, impossibly, stupendously faster than wisdom.

[@Voidmercenary]

That reminds of this one reddit quote: What if oxygen is the drug and the drugs allow us to see the real world?

[@Theonewhocaptions]

I wonder what will they say once they kidnap a human and find the guy using their fuel tank and intakes as breathing apparatus while just staring at them. Confused. While they are terrified of this organic engine huffing down rocket fuel. In fact, do you think they all move much more slower than us due to them not using oxygen to respirate since it guves them much longer life spans, but significantly less movement speed and longer sleeping periods due to them not having the necessary facilities to breath in oxygen?

[@kabutomushigerman9852]

This is basically the prologue of War of the World from the perspective of the aliens, and nobody is going to change my mind about that fact

[@micboyyaboy2578]

Man, I love "humans are space orcs." Such a great concept.

[@10hawell]

Wait are we the demons/daedra/chaos/orcs/cronenberg monsters in the eyes of aliens? That's rad.

[@Just_A_Simple_Time_Traveller]

Nice The entire HFY genre in a nutshell

[@cowboyfrogthelord]

What's HFY?

[@Just_A_Simple_Time_Traveller]

Well, long story short, it stands for, and I quote, "Humanity fuck yeah". Basically it's just an entire genre of usually sci-fi stories that center around humans being special and stuff on the galactic stage.

[@00.28.]

@@cowboyfrogthelord it's currently a subreddit called "Humans fuck yeah" ( although the genre does predate the subreddit)it's full of stories of aliens being utterly terrified or perplexed by human culture and/or biology

[@pathfindersavant3988]

@@00.28. HFY predates reddit by a wide margin, and has its origins in edgy scifi fanfiction on 4chan, most notably on the /tg/ board where the term was first coined on a nameless thread back in 2008.

[@cowboyfrogthelord]

@@00.28. thats cool asf

[@BrBetim]

I am pretty sure Aliens stopped visiting us when we figured out the atomic bomb

[@slippinjimmy6568]

Why would an advanced alien race be scared of nukes when they could end our entire planet with a rock?

[@xxizcrilexlxx1505]

​@@slippinjimmy6568 because we have found a way to deflect/destroy the rock in a safe manner (nasa has deflected like 2 asteroids now)

[@thefordlord9893]

They could just wipe our entire galaxy from existence if they wanted lol

[@thefordlord9893]

@@xxizcrilexlxx1505Those asteroids were incredibly small, in the face of giant, planet destroying asteroids, we’re screwed; and that’s just assuming that they for some reason decide to use asteroids and not some hyper powerful death beam of star-busting destruction.

[@VoiceOfTheEmperor]

Yeah, best to avoid the planet filled to the absolute brim with lunatics that actually enjoy fighting, killing and inbibe toxins for recreational entertainment.

[@AtarahDerek]

You're not burning, you're rusting. There is a difference.

[@hamstreak5591]

*WE WERE BORN TO INHERIT THE STARS*

[@bighex5340]

The alternate explanation to the Dark Forest Conjecture:

[@Matt_82]

"Death Breathers" Hell yeah

[@TylerPirnie-fz6wq]

The surest sign that alien life exists is that none of them have tried to contact us -Bill Watterson, I think

[@yopoxikeweapescai9066]

We were born to inherit the stars

[@MalleusSemperVictor]

Speaking of horror, I recently read through the novels that underpin the series the Three Body Problem. In the book, the aliens are scary. However, a character tests a theory for repelling the invaders by broadcasting the location of a star, and later, the entire system is annihilated by a single particle sent by an advanced race. I find the Dark Forest Hypothesis to be particularly horrifying as so many others do.

[@TurtleShroom3]

How would they be able to tell that the system is annihilated? It would take years to see the star system be wiped.

[@acetaminophetus]

That’s one solution to the fermi paradox

[@tinygoblinlvl.3151]

Wait till they hear about indomitable human spirit

[@alguienalguien9492]

Brutal 🔥🔥🔥

[@The-Hampterger]

The stars are our birthright, after all

[@kyrridas1573]

so my first thought is: if we can find a way to replace our need for oxygen....we could be immortal?

[@ftblr66]

Lol, xenos filth can't even breathe rocket fuel

[@AlexanderRed-xo7nm]

THE INDOMITABLE HUMAN SPIRIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@theonly6blake911]

WE WERE BORN TO INHERIT THE STARS!!!!!!

[@tehcodekid8421]

The foolish alien race that tried to invade earth watching in dread as the human still approaches despite missing two legs and an arm: (There are 8 billion more)

[@VainerCactus0]

@@tehcodekid8421 Tis only a flesh wound!

[@soupcangaming662]

"The Death Breathers, able to summon rods of a sun's core, make even us tremble in fear."

[@reecewilson223]

I love the humans are space orks genre, where humans are just unhinged compared to the rest of the galaxy.

[@I-Stole-Your-Toast700]

"Why wont aliens visit us!?!?!?!" "1. we breath in toxins that take 70-100 years to kill us, 2. Our average disagrement ends in atleast ONE warcrime. 3. We made small suns before we knew how to harness the sun. 4. in less then a human lifetime we went from blackpowder to nuclear weapons." "holy shit"

[@Gundam-Nymphali]

urm aktually , black powder was used in fireworks by chinese since 1400 ish and oxygen isn't the thing killing us , it's the telomere getting naturally shorter and causing various health issues as time pass , like it's a fun meme and all , but it's also a lot of bullshit

[@orf2A]

The l4d2 audio cue did it for me i love your stuff man

[@ultralaggerREV1]

This is most likely the BEST reason why they haven’t visited us

[@sireffortlessgarbage7922]

Being human has never felt more badass

[@yarushumasan9786]

This is, so far, probably the most amusing, awesomely deranged interpretation I've seen of the "humans are the actual menace of the universe" idea.

[@user-og4ix5sj1b]

You cannot defeat me

[@SupersuMC]

I know, but he can.

[@everythingsalright1121]

Dont forget that we consume spicy food for enjoyment. Capsaicin is literally a heat and pain response and nature has it because it helped prevent things from eating the plants. And we go out of our way to consume and even breed peppers to have more of it.

[@Someone23678]

And don't forget we BREED the spicier version of it

[@Wizard_Pikachu]

That science teacher needs his license revoked

[@stargost2338]

The aliens watching in horror as the primate species who fought amongst themselves and almost got entirely wiped out in a single ice age go from swords to atomic fission in a mere 3000 years.

[@TristanWintle]

I'm pretty sure any society advanced enough to locate and study us from afar is not going to be afraid of us.

[@AsmaTheTeaPot]

I don't know about that. They could be just a bunch of nerds who only care about peaceful science discoveries. That's why their species survived enough to be able to monitor planets probably millions of light years away and study the species living in those planets.

[@saxtonturner2240]

This song is called Anarchy 1, which is perfect because it sounds like the name of a ship, so hear me Now, anarchy one is now officially the name of a human ship coming from the universe in which the rest of the Galaxy sees humanity as the Death Breathers! All of humanity just becomes metal as fuck and become rocking Marauders and then achieve interstellar travel!

[@Custodian_of_the_Emperor]

That alien academic: comes to Earth anyway The Earth: *Milky Way sweap mixed with Helldivers theme*

[@millionth_jay]

this was the first burialgoods video i watched that sent me into the rabbit hole. i don't regret it a single bit.