Humans Are Illogical

Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio
Additional Music by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio - released under CC-BY 4.0.

[@Frosty-kz4om]

Not to mention the fact that umies need roads to tell them where to drive.

[@thejestor9378]

Yeah, but the orks do appreciate how smooth it makes the driving, allows for some real good speed.

[@nocturnaljoe9543]

@@thejestor9378 Ork's COS mentioned. WAAAAAAAAAGH!

[@LegendStormcrow]

No, ummie roads make sense. Makes da kar go fasta when on flat hard ground. What makes no sense is ummies drive on them slow and when the light is red, instead of goin fastah, stop. Red means dast!

[@magiciansforce]

Roads!? Orks don't need no stinking roads, ya git!

[@Qardo]

But roads make ya go fast'r.​@@magiciansforce

[@heathermillsphantomlimb9314]

My favorite representation of “Ork logic” is in the “Infinite and the Divine,” when Trazyn enters an Ork ship in his gallery. Orikan turned off the fields that kept it frozen, so Trazyn was trying to get it all back under control. He thinks about how Necron ships have banks of dials, buttons, and different equipment to fly the ship with machine precision. Then he finds the controls for the Ork ship, and there’s just 2 buttons. One says, “Stop,” and the other says “Go.” That book is by far my favorite 40K book I’ve ever read.

[@normy4797]

Stop button? They were probably genestealer Orks or Mork followers, why would Ork want to stop the krumping.....?

[@kinagrill]

she is also red I hope so it flies through space faster.

[@dustyngoldstien199]

He also found the buttons didn't even control the rocket

[@oskahuxley6322]

One of my favorites as well. I loved how petty the necrons were to each other. I liked that it gave the necrons some personality.

[@theenderdestruction2362]

​@normy4797 cant krump if your dead and cant krump in space if ya cant stop

[@unclecrusty5476]

Human command structure is who ever has the coolest hat

[@VA_Nightshade]

Then you get Big E. Who wears no hat, just luxorious hair. cause no one is higher than him.

[@bengunn9670]

​@@VA_Nightshadehe has blazing radiance as hat

[@usernamealreadytaken9330]

​@@VA_Nightshade Even Fulgrim in pursue of perfection tried to copy Big E hair. He fell to Chaos.

[@RatKingDelta]

​@@VA_Nightshade the hair is a hat

[@nocturnaljoe9543]

The biggest hat.

[@Warlord_Gruktak_Rukrak]

"Commissar!! The Ork did have a point" "Shut up Guardsman...you can keep talking if you like the idea of a bullet behind your head"

[@wildsalmon8410]

🎭💀🎭 Sorry, s|r some bipedal Rat 🚬🐀🫱🏽‍🫲🏻handed me ah boof-spluuff💨⚰️🩻 Yep-jittering about some horned capybara or some crazy shit & disappeared into some green glowing bell--🔦🗿🪖

[@hottracl27]

"Better than a bullet IN my head sir."

[@StDomBz]

​@@hottracl27"Touché, guardsman." * BANG *

[@hottracl27]

@@StDomBz Worth it

[@richmoncahilig1062]

😂😂😂

[@QuayNemSorr]

As it states in the 3rd edition ork codex: "There's nothing to suggest that orks are less intelligent than humans. They simply don't waste their effort on stupid things, like 'umans"

[@philiphockenbury6563]

Ork Supremacy.

[@connorsiegers3384]

I also believe there's human scholars in verse that call them the most happy and most self fulfilled race in the galaxy.

[@rKhael53]

We can learn a lot from orks.

[@Aywar77]

​@@connorsiegers3384 I think some Eldar said it

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

@@Aywar77 Ulthan The Profane. "We found a culture and called it primitive because it was simple! The Orks haven't found the answer because they never bothered to ask!"

[@MasakanSolaris]

I'd genuinely be mad if an orc of all things called me illogical.

[@JBandZ36]

Sounding like a blood angel

[@kharnthebetrayer8251]

They have intense logic in their own way. Louder gun = Makes it more powerful Red = vehicle goes faster The more you fight, the stronger you get = fight as much as you can Orks are immensely logical, just in their own way. You can very easilly predict what an Ork will do when you understand their logic. Its how Yarrick was able to beat them so well. He understood how they thought, so could think things through from the Ork's POV and figure out what they'll do. While if you reverse it. You can't really predict the same. Any Ork in the position will do the same. But humans have all sorts of different beliefs and ideas of the best way to do things. So unless you know the specific general, its very hard to figure out what a human will do

[@TripleXGames]

@@kharnthebetrayer8251plus the fact they think purple is the sneakiest of colors, because you know… ever seen a purple Ork?!

[@bradschultz2436]

In my eyes the Orks are the only ones having a good time present day 40k. I ain't played 40k since the 90s and I never played them. I'm straight up Astra Militarum fan. But I absolutely love ork pragmatism. They always crack me up.

[@championastartes]

Like how Mekboyz, Madocs, and Weird Boyz are smaller in size usually but by far more intelligent than any average Ork, sometimes even more so than War bosses.

[@XXMatt0040XX]

I love these Ork voices. It really does convey how an Ork's intelligence is correlated with their size. It's subtle and maybe not even intentional, but it's there .

[@eriktruchinskas3747]

Bigger head, bigger brain, bigger thoughts. Makes sense Funnily enough pilots do use ork logic in that "if it looks good it MUST fly good" engineering be secondary

[@Qardo]

Well, during the time of The Beasts. Orks sent DIPLOMATS to Terra. Though Ork Diplomacy is pretty cut and die. Fight and die. Or surrender and may live. But the fact the Orks in question spoke PERFECT High Gothic, even with the Ork accent. It stunned the High Lords of Terra. So boils down to. Orks get smarter the more powerful the Warboss is. The way the Warboss gets more powerful is through the collective belief of the WAAAAGH! Though, being The Beast was actucally FIVE Ork Warbosses seemingly working together and even had some sort of Voltron (god I am dating myself) form. All to make "The Beast". These 5 Orks were very intelligent and had the Imperium by the balls. If it wasn't for the bestest of boys coming in like a wrecking ball and taking a hammer to them...also setting off a nuke. Though, maybe I misheard the story. I could be wrong. You know GW. They will Retcon sh*t.....

[@carvereppel9783]

are you talking about Uthak, as in Uthak black hawk from da big dakka black library book?

[@XXMatt0040XX]

​@@Qardo Nah you've got it right. Seemingly it was why Big E was in such a rush with the crusade. War of the Beast was just a whacky storyline. That's the only reason you're confused lol

[@user-pf8hs7nv6z]

Orks are extremely darwinistic, and when they fight they not only grow in size, but in intelligence. Now imagine an ork warboss, especially given that ork memory is generally on par with humans. It's no surprise they still are one of the greatest menace to other races.

[@jerandel6910]

The Orks legitimately always believe if you do something, in some way, shape or form, you do it because you want the Orks to come and fight you. For example, you build a fortress. Make it impenetrable, unbreakable, impossible to overcome. Most species would see this as a deterrent and not bother trying. An Ork sees this, he will think you're challenging him and his Bois to come and try to destroy your fortress. Because why else would you make it if not to invite people to come test their strength against it? Because if it was made to scare people off, why make it at all? Because now whose gonna admire it or try to see if it really is impenetrable?

[@MrAnimination]

Your use of the word "Bois", rather than the Orkier "Boyz", is making me imagine masculine female Orkz.

[@mariusconstantin6057]

My head iz burn

[@user-he9fg8jr6g]

I love this explanation cause their logic is so sound if your only purpose in life is war. And they probably see the humans as pretty much having that same thought process about violence considering all the metal warriors running around killing everything haha

[@mariusconstantin6057]

@@user-he9fg8jr6g when you put it like that...

[@jimvenanzio6561]

somewhere in reading this, I started mentally pronouncin' it like an ORK would. It's gotta be how da big Orkz would think, rite?

[@khinzaw77]

WHY DO 'UMIES PARK IN DRIVE WAYS AND DRIVE IN PARKWAYS? -These Orks probably.

[@henryviiifake8244]

Can't lie, they make a good point.

[@themelon_1785]

WHY UMIES CARRY SHIPMENTS IN A CAR AND CARGO IN A SHIP???

[@tdpuuhailee8222]

WHY DO 'UMIES BAKE COOKIES AND COOK BACON?

[@korien8976]

I'm with the Orks on that one. Why would the Emperor cover everything in gold and then act annoyed when somebody wanted to rob him?!

[@kinagrill]

I mean same logic can go for those flashgitz and how why do they make it all flashy and then angry when another ork goes to try and steal it.

[@Olimar92]

@@kinagrill The Flashgitz stole it first, so they don't want no one else stealing it.

[@diarmuidosullivan7391]

He is Turkish, so it makes sense.

[@terminallove3531]

@@diarmuidosullivan7391 I dont think Turkey existed when he was born

[@patrickpromen3605]

"Oi, knife ear. Question for ya. Is it just us or is dem humies weird?" "Yeah, very. We know that, but how'd YOU know that?"

[@MrDibara]

😂 We need more Eldar and Ork stories. It would be hilarious!

[@1krani]

>virgin Black Legion Lord who needs Warp divination to find a rogue Chapter Master. >chad Freeboota Kaptin who finds him through logikal deedukshun. If Orks weren't evil, 40K would be utopian fiction.

[@edg3818]

The orks aren't evil though

[@jimvenanzio6561]

Edge's rite. Orkz aren't evil.... They're Green!

[@1krani]

@@edg3818 Look into what they do to prisoners and get back to me.

[@TheUSgoverment]

​@@1krani That's not evil, that's just gourmet.

[@henryviiifake8244]

Orks only behave _exactly_ as the Old Ones bio-programmed them to do. Do mushrooms have the capacity for evil? I don't think so.

[@DrXaiver]

You know it’s a strange world when orks have a valid point

[@julianpradarodriguez7336]

To be honest I met people IRL that would.make Orkz look like Stephen Hawking

[@dinoz2113]

sometimes yea but their still dumb

[@rKhael53]

But they ARE Stephen Hawking ! They weaponized an entire moon, practized time paradoxes and apply a thermodynamic effect on a color.

[@amargwari2431]

For all their "logic", humies also have the "biggest humie is the boss" rule. Emperor>Primarch>Custodes>Astartes>Guards

[@Angels510]

The Sigilite would be 2nd or at worst 3rd on this list tho and he's all skin and bones

[@amargwari2431]

@@Angels510 what sigillite are you talking about? The one from the ancient history of 30th millenia? Yeah right grandpa, as if he ever existed. This is 42nd millenia, nobody believes those fairy tales

[@user-pf8hs7nv6z]

@@Angels510 Weirdboyz are also skinny, *compared* to other orks, yet they have a relatively high place in hierarchy as other orks benefit (well, they believe they do...) from weirdboy's abilities

[@williamwhitman9029]

I like that the theory that the god emperor is only alive because the orks believe he's the god of humans.

[@laniemon]

Starting my day with an orc saying I'm illogical. Nice.

[@NoNo-xh7ru]

I think people forget that logic is rooted in emotion and desire. Creatures with fundamentally different desires will have fundamentally different logic.

[@clementnade972]

Love this. Our intentions, purpose and motivations are very different from one another, couple that with our very limitations and questionable methods to achieve our goals and we get a plethora of mistakes and regrets

[@gideonmele1556]

Logic is also a mechanical process, slight differences in input can give very different outputs

[@matteopacciani9402]

Logic is just the extension of the axioms of non contraddiction identity sobstitution exc. It isn't realatice at all.

[@charleslathrop9743]

I was going to say that this is completely inane and support that claim with reasons, but then I realized that trying to reason with you would be like administering medicine to the dead. So, instead of trying to appeal to objectivity and logic, which apparently don't exist, I'm going to resort to childish insults, which are emotional and therefore do exist, apparently. Your take is dogshit. Not you personally, but what you said. It's a dumpster fire.

[@charleslathrop9743]

Garbage take.

[@dragonmaster613]

DEY AIN'T WRONG, DEM UMIES ARE ZONGIN NUTS. BUT WATIF DAT'S DA POINT, BRING YA IN AND SNAP LIKE DEM FLOWAS DAT EAT SQUIGGS?

[@austinrooks1787]

Omg the tab for translating doubles a spelling check

[@austinrooks1787]

Omg the tab for translating doubles a spelling check

[@dragonmaster613]

@@austinrooks1787 WHY YOU DISS MA TALKIN, UMIE? WAT, YOU NO SPEAK PROPPA ORK?

[@28stabwounds38]

​@@dragonmaster613 WAAAAAAGGHHH

[@dragonmaster613]

@@28stabwounds38 *WAAAAAGGHH!*

[@PeterDivine]

...I've got an idea. Quick, someone get a collection of philosophies on existentialism blown out of red glass and neon lighting.

[@tiagobelo4965]

The orks 100% would not care, at best they'd put it on their ships and spread existentialism to other races they pass by (assuming those don't get krumped beforehand)

[@SonOfWalhall]

They took over a Titan,and read Princeps as Princess. So someone got that title 😅

[@richardpatterson4]

He gave it to his pet squig

[@StefanBlagojevic]

"Shiny bridges= For good luck" - Warboss 😂

[@thudlite4319]

Imagine getting your logic smashed by a sentient fungus.

[@saloonplay8510]

Orks makes no sens to us but so does we to them and i freaking love that ! 🤣

[@unknownchicken2284]

Meanwhile if the humans did just hand over tjeir stuff the orcs would get mad they didnt fight

[@mrthe4198]

Deal with it human.

[@AbbysalWarrior]

Pot calling kettle...

[@patchwurk6652]

To Ork logic there's no point in making a big menacing fortress unless you want people to test its defenses. So they're annoyed that humans make big scary fortresses loaded with shiny stuff that's an "Obvious invitation to attack" by Ork logic, only to be upset when you actually take them up on it and attack. The idea of a big obvious fortress "as a deterrent" just doesn't occur to them. You put all that effort into MAKING the big battle fortress, the Ork assumes you want to use it.

[@eoingaskin]

"come into MY house, steal MY STUFF, call ME ILLOGICAL??"

[@mar00nm4v2]

Dawg really said "if you know we steal shit, why would you make the PLANET so stealable???"

[@Hatsworthful]

I still love the old lore bit that the entire imperial bureaucreacy system is a giant elaborate punishment created by the god emperor to punish everyone, everywhere all at once

[@gideonmele1556]

Emps on waking: “it started as a joke but now I want to see how far this goes”

[@UGNAvalon]

Meanwhile, those Orks with fast-growing teef: “Look at my shinies! Lemme flaunt my wealf at youz!”

[@solarprophet5439]

They have a point. It's like walking through Detroit covered with gold and diamonds, then acting surprised when you get robbed.

[@uberwarlocker]

Need a head cannon where some Orkz get distracted by a monster jam show.

[@tiagobelo4965]

Orks would absolutely love monster trucks, they're just based like that

[@bronsonwood9694]

Why are ork stealth units purple? Have you ever seen a purple ork? No. EXACTLY

[@XXMatt0040XX]

I believe there is now an instance of a purple ork in lore. But I'm not able (or willing) to search for it.

[@thebossbrothers123]

They aren't purple, they're ultraviolet so you truly cannot see them. Orks do not have Ultraviolet as a word so they say purple. If you see a purple ork then he is not "purple" enough cause he gotta be ultraviolet.

[@MarlokSkalinus]

They aint logical said an outgrown fungus

[@Redknight660]

The irony is so heavy it might as well be a Leman Russ Tank.

[@Chaosworshiper]

This is why i love the orks

[@ghostwithknife416]

Brutal Kunnin' was an insanely good book. The Ad Mech half was really tense and the ork bits were on point.

[@YOGI-kb9tg]

It's also a trilogy with warboss and the big dakka. Personally the big dakka is the best

[@B1ackWolf]

Homies really said "don't show your bling in the ghetto"

[@daebi37]

Orks, the first species my players eliminated in my Perpetual 40K Campaign that has been running since 1990.

[@arandomkobold8403]

Finks about it, wut does evry typa git in dis whole mork-snicked galaxy have in common? Der leader is da biggest git deys got! Da emrpa, che-cego- DAT CLOWN GIT, Abby-don, and whoevers leadin da blue gits! Deys all da biggest!

[@jimvenanzio6561]

The funniest part about your post is that Google *offered* to translate it to English. *And succeeded!*

[@gatogato3748]

I mean he's not wrong. It's like flashing your gold chain in a bad neighborhood 😂

[@MasakanSolaris]

Wow never thought of it that way

[@timothypeterson4781]

Brutal Kunnin' is unironically one of the best 40k books ever written.

[@peasantlevelpainter7858]

Thank you for color coating the different characters.

[@IronicHavoc]

Keep in mind, in that situation Orks would also try to kill you, but they'd be excited about it

[@atheontimesconflux1067]

You know... The orcs have a point. Why DO we keep our valuables in really shiny things?

[@classarank7youtubeherokeyb63]

“If humans don’t didn’t want to be pillaged then why are they made out of valuables?”

[@Dragon66898]

We don’t understand their logic and they don’t understand our logic.

[@maxst9561]

the part where you explained where the head is felt like im having a stroke 😂

[@josynaemikohler6572]

Ork probably: "The nerves of some people!"

[@ThePersmo]

Thanks for the song AA! Song is called Hackers by Karl Casey for those of you who want to listen to it.

[@starshinehero]

Gork and Mork taught the Boyz well.

[@ajejebrazorf1888]

Make sense

[@sergiocontreras5629]

The fact that an Ork called a human illogical is brilliantly funny to me.

[@camtube55]

Your ork voice read is so much better than the audiobooks which sound sound more like grots

[@oskarrussjohansson4302]

That and, “It can’t be that hard, after all humies can do it.”

[@clementnade972]

I love it. Brilliant writing.

[@frostwolf8994]

To butcher a quote I found in an Ork Codex, I forget which edition. “Humies are pink an soft, not green and tough like da boyz. And theyz all da same size too. So whenz one of em wantz the others to doz somefink they az to be like ‘You listenz to me cuz I outrank youz.’ Or ‘I know somefink youz don’t knowz.’ Now ya see alf of em believe it an da otha alf don’t. So he az to either krump em or run for it. What a load of muckin about and while theyz doin dat, da Orks can krump da lot!” -Unknown Ork on the weakness of humanity.

[@andrewsypniewski3403]

"No, wait! He has a point." - Salmander, probably

[@zackposey592]

First Warhammer book I ever read. Loved it!

[@zyncsgamingchannel9602]

Wez Orkz just want a gewd foight, WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

[@kompatybilijny9348]

Orks also display their shiny bits for everyone to see. And they also get upset when someone tries to steal them.

[@assortedfruitcup]

Nogla looking like Kanye with that invisible grill he got

[@ggrimmfield5529]

Nah the last part just killed me 🤣🤣🤣

[@CharleyXMIke]

To anyone that has read any ork novels, are they as fun as I think?

[@paulboggess1330]

Yes

[@henryheavy8044]

Shockwave : You’re argument…..is logical….

[@freefall945]

That forge world was dressed provocatively.

[@andreasottohansen7338]

clearly neither of these Orkz have ever met a flashgit, and tried to take their stuff

[@enderborn6860]

Orks calling the mechanicus illogical is a gut punch 😂

[@possumlovr42069]

Brutal Kunnin is such a fun book. The audiobook is done really well too.

[@milkshakellie]

I love when orks get really confused when humans take objectives. “Why dey takin’ blinky fing? We ovah ‘ere, come fight us!”

[@schizosamurai8840]

40k orks, Admech and Necrons(although heavily inspired by tomb kings) are some of the most original and iconic sci-fi factions

[@YourXavier]

I would have thought this made perfect sense for an orc: You make your stuff flashy, so people come and try to take it. Then you don't have to go looking for a fight,, the fight comes to you. Dat's effishunsy, dat is!

[@krausercruz2780]

I always said that Orks don't work with "imagination", they simple work on their own warped (wheeze) Sence of logic that their Waagh energy allows them to do.

[@frost-bite8448]

Aaaye, I just started reading this book! :D

[@Galactus78]

The great thing is that compared to other Orcs these two are intellectual titans

[@not9387]

Thats my fungus boyz!

[@englishtwister]

Loving the London accent.

[@Doctorgeo7]

Makes me wonder, has the Imperium of Man tried cloaking devices for whole planets?

[@Aravaganthus]

From the species that built mechanical mouths to scale on their attack moons

[@danolantern6030]

If i was a diplomatic in charge of explaining why, i’d do it like this “Well, higher-ups do it to challenge you, but the little ones don’t know that and they panic when you invade” And when they wonder why they get mad, i’d say “They’re sore losers”

[@zenninlatimer9874]

I LOVED that book

[@ragemachine8601]

Humies shouldn't mess with Orks. Cause Orks always got the backing of the boys!

[@noahbachfrandsen1533]

It's all fun and games until the orks just springs the traps and the admech unravels the irl photoshop device from pariah nexus.

[@Southerly93]

I'm sure it would make sense to a bad moon. It's all about staying flashier than the next git

[@SorchaSublime]

The weird thing is that you can kind of follow their logic.

[@Itsallover57]

This conversation must have happened during the mandatory boring first 25% of a warhammer book because ive listened to this audio book and dont remember it,

[@Romuluz369]

I mean... They sure seem to enjoy fighting is tho...

[@_repentence]

Ah yes, the thug logic If you have something nice and you show it to everybody, you asked to get robbed

[@richardcletus6026]

Flawless Orc logic, looks like I'm painting my skin green and putting more faith in the power of imagination. Red make car faster. Red make car faster.

[@dragonson04]

DA BOIZ IZ DA BEST!!! WAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

[@jaymo288]

half way through reading this book at the moment.

[@quintessenceoflife7870]

Orks would destroy twitter and I would love to see the day they do.

[@GoodGirlLuna3]

They've got a point. Gotta keep your fancy things hidden or you risk attracting the greedy and the desperate alike.

[@BIacklce]

Just another example showing logic isn't objective, but a product of perspective

[@titansshallreturn5894]

Me: Well, he does have a point Inquistor:What did you say Me: nothing

[@Naraku150]

What do you mean their logic makes perfect sense dude

[@no1sfriend.]

Ork low-gik iz juzt moar low-gikal

[@MonoDde]

I mean, I kinda get it. It's like when locals in a dangerous area tell tourists to not flash their cash or jewelry... but tourists do it anyway and then get robbed. Yes, the robbers are bad, but c'mon...

[@philipprudek9537]

Logical

[@kachi2000]

I mean , they ain't wrong 🤷, humans are too flashy.

[@onesleepycrab8812]

Gotta love culture shock in fiction