hungry

there was a time in my life when I was hungry all the time. I dont think I ever fully dealt with those feelings.

[@zombeepictureshow]

My anxiety comes from excessive amounts of energy. My worry comes from my lack of worrying. My jokish nature comes from my antipathy. And my compassion comes from my logic. This video was an eye opener Earl. Thank you for posting it. We all been there Earl. I remember back in Ramstein, Germany, I just paid all my bills sent money to the wifey and kids, I looked at my personal account, I had nothing. So for a month, I had to eat 3 times a day, Brotsuppe. That's all I could afford.

[@zombeepictureshow]

When I eat I am a lot more conscious. I say to myself, make sure I eat just right, as not to throw anything away. That is not right. So I help when I can. But we all been there. It sucks living alone, and thinking, where the hell am I going to get money to eat? It is a scary feeling. This was a great video Earl. Your videos always make me feel humm, feelings I hate feeling. Thank you Earl. Really, thank you. :-)

[@bikemessenger7]

I have talked to a few parents that have gone without food for their children. brings tears to my eyes. there are still food theft in my state. shop lifting or breaking and entering just to clean out the fridge. I wish there was more ways for people to fight hunger.

[@LaymansHypothesis]

Thanks for talking about this. Over here, for the first time since the war, many people are going hungry. This vile government - the worst I've known - is pursuing a policy of austerity, or more accurately, destitution with people having to rely on food banks. But people are only allowed a total of nine days' food. After that they're on their own. A civilised country should have a guaranteed income for everyone, so no one need go hungry.

[@bikemessenger7]

good for her. its one thing to stock food and another to not touch it. eating your fill is a wonderful thing!

[@hammeredshitsteak]

Different things leave their own peculiar marks on our brains, man. You can always try and think it through with logic like "there is no reason why I should feel or react this way." but that's the thing with emotions. You can't reason it out and have it come up on command. I've had many experiences with enormous self pity in my past, and as an emotional reaction it often is the first thing that pops into my mind in situations that remind me of those hard times. Without logic. Peace man.

[@john81blaze]

respects for havin the power to say was realy is ....a very honest statement....

[@DClean]

Beautiful

[@bikemessenger7]

I was in an accident once and could not work for several months, my savings went towards rent and bills but I had nothing left over for food. I applied to my state for help and suddenly I had more food then I had ever had in my life all at once! there are lots of things changing around my state to help people eat, farm food can be donated now, fish can be donated. so much food gets wasted because of restrictions while people go hungry. its a crime.

[@bikemessenger7]

I have met several people like that. I was asked to get some food out of a freezer and found it fully encased in ice. when I reported that the lady smiled and told me to try another freezer. she seemed happy that she had a giant block of ice full of food, I wondered if she poured water in there. I noticed that much of her life was centered around this kind of thing and it makes me wonder about my fear about going hungry and what it makes me do without my knowing.

[@bikemessenger7]

yeah I remember being offered food from my school. the food was really bad but I was so grateful that I pretended not to notice.

[@bikemessenger7]

I think most of mine comes from not being in control of important things in my past. as an adult I have most everything I can do to be secure taken care of. I feel certain that living in my tiny house is part of how I deal with feelings of being secure. I cant be kicked out of a house I built myself and can pull with my van to a place where I can live.

[@bikemessenger7]

I look back on trying to stay fed and I remember not wanting people to notice. I came by a friends house a few times and they invited me to dinner and someone said that I showed up at dinner time on purpose. I was so embarrassed I avoided them and when I saw them again they invited me to dinner and said I couldnt make it out of shame I think. I often offer to feed people now, when I go camping I haul huge amounts of fantastic food up there and spend all day cooking. dutch oven FTW

[@bikemessenger7]

I would love that.

[@bikemessenger7]

I think noticing my reaction is a sign that I can start to unhook the past from the present. the flip side is someone called me fat recently and I smiled as if that was a victory for me.

[@coffeefish]

I used to be friends with a person who went through the depression. She was a family friend, and I would do chores around the house for her. She would stock pile food everywhere, and buy in bulk. It all went bad and spoiled but she didn't mind. To her, food that was rotting and full of worms, was still plenty good enough.

[@hammeredshitsteak]

Even though I've never gone hungry like you, I still fantasized when I was unemployed that one day I'll be able to walk to the store and pick out what I want to eat instead of what I can afford. I can do that now :) Back then it was all macaroni and canned meatballs almost every day.

[@WarblesOnALot]

@Earl Portland Yeah, that's how I know I can't have been genuinely hungry, because the monotony & bad quality mattered. In '86/87 I got down to Bread, & Margarine & Ammunition ; & I was eating Kangaroo Sandwiches. About then, some friends of mine noticed, & gave me a Box of Groceries. Then the Insurance Company quit trying to starve me off their books (Worker's Comp/Nurses' Back). Ciao!

[@bikemessenger7]

I was at work a few days ago, some people were behaving very poorly, and I thought, good thing Zombee is not here as I bet this kind of thing drives him nuts. part of my driving fear about food is that for a long time waiting a month did not matter, I was never going to have enough money to eat right, I worked extra jobs, I worked on my day off, I made friends with people who had access to food. for a time it was the sum of my activity. I had no idea that some of that fear was still with me.

[@bikemessenger7]

I was living of minute rice for a long time, its hard to escape the past, I guess what I hope for is to use the past in a way to make my eating less emotional and more fun.

[@bikemessenger7]

thanks John, was not sure about posting this at first but I have noticed that I am still dealing with this and having now talked about it I can look back as the years go by and see if I can put some of those memories to rest.

[@bikemessenger7]

unchecked emotions can do some damage thats for sure. sometimes I react to things and I wonder why I reacted that way. now I will see that as a sign that I need to look for hidden factors. I might ask "what happened in my past to make me feel this way now?"

[@bikemessenger7]

one of my concerns is that I might not know what behaviors I have that relate to this kind of thing. I rarely go out to eat for instance and I sometimes spend allot on food. its hard to say if its because I was once so hungry that I thought about it all the time or now that I can afford some good things I would rather buy good stuff and cook it myself as an extra luxury.

[@WarblesOnALot]

@Earl Portland G'day Earl... Yep, Being too poor to eat makes a LASTING impression. For me it was 2 years at a Catholic Boarding School which was going broke, & Cost-Cutting. There were 3 meals per day ; but all so unappetising, & monotonous, that from 11 to 13 I grew a head's worth of height & I gained no weight... A good thing I was a fat, & spoiled, brat ; at the begining of the Curried Mince & Boiled Rice... Not unlike a POW Camp, it was... Ciao !

[@coffeefish]

How it continues to affect you is certainly related to what age you were during that chapter of life.

[@yellowgroove]

just for the 3 storage units at $100.00 each unit, storing my dead grandmothers contents of her home is stupid, time to let go of the past and sell something, he is a pack rat but he is an avid collector... he says when he dies, i get his gun collection, his stamp and baseball card collection, his rare coin collection and all of his vehicles, my sister gets a house and the contents of a $10 year freedom CD worth about $90,000 to date, mom has Kidney problem and bladder cancer, her days limited

[@yellowgroove]

Dad made tons in stock market and wise purchases / investments,through the years heck they moved to a $ 375,000 home and never even put the other house on the market to this day , they just use it for storage, its paid for but still they pay , $140.00 / month on water /sewer, + gas + electric ( another $250+ / month )and nobody has lived there since about 2004, he don't want to sell it, i say its wasting money and he also has 3 storage units at $100.00 / month,time to get rid of some stuff i say

[@yellowgroove]

My problem with food is my dame tapeworms !! i can literally eat 3 full slabs of ribs and be hungry an hour later.. Going thru junior high i was called bean pole, tooth pick, skinny minny, thin mint and everything else, so i started eating, problem is, i never stopped and now people call me over weight, i can';t fucking please anyone man.... i never had money problems, nor has my parents.... we always had plenty of case because of both of my folks working and my dad making wise investements

[@DClean]

The worst kind.

[@bikemessenger7]

I was interested to notice that I still had such strong feelings. I did not know they were still there. not I have posted this I will be interested to see what I can do about it as time goes on.

[@coffeefish]

At what age did you find yourself being very hungry? Were you a child, or were you a young man?