I Almost Died from Stimming and Alcohol - My Life After Rocking 49 Years

[@spacesage533]

Hi, I am only 16 minutes in and I am just with my mouth on the floor😮 this is because I can relate to everything you said. I mean everything even down to the horse galloping drum dream of iron maiden. They still reserve the rocking for 14 hours, listening to the same song over and over again… I was just feeling like such a loser. I stumbled across a video about autism and I was blown away because I am 40 years old and I never knew that I had such an issue. I knew something was wrong with me because I’m not really good with relationships but anyways, I’m just saying, and as far as alcohol….wow. I couldn’t have described it better than you did. When you said you felt immortal or something like that when you took that first drop of alcohol I mean it made me feel like I was everything at once Whatever that means but anyways thanks for listening and I might leave another comment. Who knows but I’m just saying thank you so much for this video. I have been in alcoholic for 26 years and I am still struggling with all of this, so this video really comforted me ❤Thank you Erik.

[@rockingerik]

so welcome....never too late to reinvent yourself...

[@kathleenseroy5310]

Hi Erik, I really enjoy your story. You have a nice, soothing voice and provide plenty of details. I had a psychotic break 20 years ago and still struggle with daily life. Its so inspiring to hear what you have lived through and that you have kept going. I am hoping to get a small job and interact with a larger group of people but I am scared shitless of my inability to cope. Your story is a reminder that people can get back up no matter how far down they are. I will live to fight another day.

[@rockingerik]

You got this, Kathleen!

[@123ElectricMonkey]

I was a functional alcoholic for 20 years....I drank 1-2 pints of shit vodka and a few beers and a pack of smokes every night for 4 years or so...i had been throwing up blood for months when i finally went to the hospital ER and was told "Your vital signs are not compatible with life"....One thing about MY autism is that people simply DO NOT TELL ME what to do. I refused to accept that someone else would tell me when i was going to die when i was very much alive...... i lived through an emergency surgery to repair six burst vessels and received 8 pints of blood..I was scheduled for a 9th and had them unplug me and walked out. 3 years sober and 100 lbs lighter here i am...I was scared shitless of DT's for years..seizures etc..and i luckily didn't experience any but i remember the first time i quit and the way i felt...i couldn't walk 25 feet..i had always been athletic but lost ALL of that during my drunk years...i'm in better shape than i ever have been...

[@rockingerik]

Amazing man! Thanks for sharing. Yeah its crazy what rocking and not walking for years can do...

[@123ElectricMonkey]

i think we all have that energy if its focused we can do incredible things @@rockingerik

[@spacesage533]

The way you said that being alone in a dark room, rocking 14 hours a day is a quick way to die… I mean I did the exact same thing. I really just thought I was wasting my life and I kind of still I am because I haven’t stop rocking. I just drank a couple of days ago. It’s really hard every day and like you said, if I don’t drink, then I rock more or smoke like two packs of cigarettes in four hours. I know I need therapy but in the meantime, just watching your video really helped. One thing I struggle with though is cutting on top of everything else. It’s just a crappy life.

[@rockingerik]

just replace the destructive habits with healthy ones - easier said than done but that will save your life...

[@Alphonium]

Weirdly, that little punk who didn't like you accidently did you the greatest favour and he probably didn't realise at a conscious level.

[@rockingerik]

Exactly!