NoFap After 18 Days - It Sucks!

[@user-ib2bt4ck7y]

Hey Erik. It kind of saddens me a bit to hear that you've converted to such religious extremeism. But im proud of you for abstaining from your addictions and compulsions regardless, and if a christian god helps you through that then im glad for you. Im not an in-betweener. I am a lover of god. I know god and god is quite incomprehensible to humans aside from when we are in a state of higher consciousness. For example, under the influence of psychedelic coumpounds, or during childbirth, or during excercise or while obtaining spiritual knowledge. I believe everything is born innocent, and that all acts are fundamebtally innocent. The only thing that makes a thing evil, is our ideas and our condemnation. Thats not me saying dengerous people sould get away with doing horrible acts either. Humans should always be aware of the ramifications of their harmful actions and should feel guolt and shame for willingly hurting another being, because it is adaptive and important for psychological well being and survival. Andi dont think someones sexual urges should come at the expense of another. Thinking this way has helped me a lot to not feel incessant guilt and shame for being who i am. Incessant guilt and shame makes us less ambitious, less healthy, less loving to ourselves and others and therefore it is not a viable path towards god. When a wolf kills a sheep, it does so innocently and because it needs to eat. If a human does something "evil" or immoral, it is usually due to many different biological and social factors, for example; abuse is a cycle that is passed down through generations. Psychopathic individuals who lack empathy have been found to have brain abnormalities or injuries, sexual desire and paraphilic disorders are brought on by a variety of factors as well. The gripe i will always have with religion is its denial of the flesh, because our DNA holds wisdom. Our bodies have been found to actually be the way out of cycles of trauma, body work like excercise, breath work, singing actually brings the soul back into the body, keeps us healthy. The other gripe i have with religion is that it says that sex is dirty and filthy, when it is essential for creation. People who have been sexually abused in childhood have benefitted from practicing conscious sex with a trusted lover. It has proven to be very healing to channel sexual energy into healthy outlets. Then, there is the forbidden fruit. To eat from the forbidden fruit or to obtain spiritual knowledge, is to become like god, which christians consider to be heresy. But, to become like god is to become conscious and creative, and to become conscious and creative is to heal ourselves and the world. It is to take the ultimate responsibility, it is to become pure life force incarnate. It is to truly live out gods will as a fragment of gods heart. There is a spiritual battle going on, youre correct. But we will not find soul in old systems of belief, christianity will not save us, it never did. Becoming grounded in reality, and also becoming conscious and healthy is essential, and it means lot of things. First, we should treat our bodies well, whatever that looks like for you. Then we should be creative, and break free from the toxic culture (addictions) which condemns important aspects of our being, such as our animal nature, and our spiritual nature.. From there, we should strive to work with and not against the laws of the universe, the most important law being that we are one with this earth and all of existence, and that we cannot live without being in gods kingdom, or the natural world. We are not meant to be holed up in boxes and never looking at the sky, we are not meant to abstain from sexual needs, we are not put on this earth to feel shame and to feel dirty for who we are. We are here to love ourselves and the world, and to do that is to be aligned with god and truth. Our opressors are humans beings who claim our resources and degrade the earth in the name of profit. Our opressors are anyone who tells you man is seperate from nature and therefore meant to dominate it. Nature is what we are. We are biological organisms, and that is not a flattening of reality, and it is not a threat to our spirituality, and it does not mean there is no god. It just means that god is way beyond what our primate brains are able to comprehend, and that is ok. In essence, i hope you are well and being kind to yourself. I wish you would see what a fundametally beautiful and innocent being you are because i see it in all of your videos. Your are not shameful or dirty, nothing on this earth can take way your soul except for your own hatred towards yourself. And i say that because i care about you, and because i too have spent much of my life hating myself and feeling deep shame. All it did was ruin my life. I also want to emphasize again that even though i dont really care for christian religions or really most religions, i see the value in them and ifyou feel it is helping you become a better you then Im glad. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts. Hope you are well.

[@llllllllllllll8576]

Hi Eric, Congratulations on day 20! We share similar stories, my friend. I am going through a no fap period myself. I lost count on the days but it has been more than a week. I have noticed I feel more esteem. Fapping takes a toll on my anxiety, especially when I am around other people. Especially the opposite sex. I have noticed it puts a strain on my eye contact and where I place my eyes. And it takes a toll on my creep factor. I get vibes. Certain people avoid me. I pick up on that. I have been described as being creepy in the past. You know how people talk about others behind their backs. What goes around comes around. I am an awkward person in general in the general public. I am reclusive. I dont associate with a lot of people. I am a homebody. You could argue that masterbation is a natural thing and everybody does it, but you are right, there is something dirty and perverted about it. And when the deed is done, I feel dirty, and I feel shame. Keep making these videos. I may not comment, but I do watch them. I like the aspect of talking to you personally rather than being a face in your fanbase. Its more personal and these videos help me. Thank you for making these videos. I consider you a friend. Keep going! You're doing great!

[@rockingerik]

Thank you! I have to start the count over unfortunately. I made love with my fiance this weekend which activates down there and then I fapped when she was sleeping. I feel a lot of shame right now, but back on the fap wagon tomorrow! Thanks for watching my friend!

[@rogue1362]

@@rockingerik every time you fail try to extend the streak!

[@llllllllllllll8576]

Im so sorry to hear that. Try not to torture yourself. Demons love that. Like rouge says, try and extend the streak next time, but for now, all you can do is work on today. We are only human after all. Does your fiancee know you struggle with fapping? How does she feel about it? I have been in sexual relationships in the past, where fapping took a toll on the relationship, adding to the shame and guilt mechanism. Taking a toll on the relationship as a whole. Hang in there my friend.

[@FDB-8]

I was rocking back and forth like that after day 2. Good job

[@rockingerik]

Awesome!

[@badbadfull]

All you need is someone who loves you and you quit forever.

[@rockingerik]

I do - We werent making love - but its all good now - I still wont Fap

[@fliper4o]

Great ! Keep going ! :)

[@sauvikray1401]

Thank you.

[@rockingerik]

You're welcome!

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

To your own self, be true. Have you talked to a doctor or therapist about OCD?

[@rockingerik]

Docs just push meds, I dont do meds

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

@rockingerik Or: A therapist or counselor. Someone who has an understanding of Autism & obsessive & compulsive behaviors. Not all professional advice is about taking meds. I wish you well on your goal journey.

[@starwarsbunker]

Ok wait just a minute. We aren’t going to just glaze over the fact that you said god actually spoke to you twice. Surely that’s most important than everything else in the video right? So you think he spoke to you? What did he sound like? I have asked god for guidance many times and he has never spoken to me, perhaps you are one of his special ones

[@starwarsbunker]

Either way I wish you success with your nofap journey. I wish to succeed as well

[@starwarsbunker]

Also, about the “near death experiences.” Why are they all different? Every single one is completely different from the next. Surely they would be consistent if they were all glimpses into the same afterlife. And they are non falsifiable. Big problems. Not saying heaven and hell aren’t real, but I wouldn’t take KZbin experiences as gospel

[@rockingerik]

Its very rare to hear Jesus, but it sounds like your own thoughts but with more authority and something you wouldn't think of on your own, pure wisdom and stern love.

[@rockingerik]

The top 3 NDE videos sound similar: kzbin.info/aero/PL4un8SIaCQ_1o8PtbA7LRpOfISP9mnTku

[@Sarahmcwilliams1982]

Happy birthday 🎂have a lovely weekend take care