I am an old man.

I am 38 years old Japanese man. This age is considered not so young, but near to be old. My schizophrenia makes me get old early. In this video, I share my feelings about getting old. I positively accept it.
#vlog #livingwellwithschizophrenia #livinginjapan #schizophrenia #mentalhealth #mindfulness #mindfulliving

[@theohaase]

You uploaded this video just before I was about to go to bed. It is late and I have trouble sleeping. I love all your videos, I am also suffering with schizophrenia and BPD and I watched all your videos in one day because you are so down to earth and well spoken. I genuinely enjoy your content and perspective / experience so much. I want to download medium soon and read your articles as well. Greetings from an egyptian viewer :)

[@TheGrmany69]

Good look to you and plenty of health.

[@GrigorianAnt]

KIM KITSURAGI!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE LEUTENANT???

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@theohaase Thank you for watching! I have stopped writing on Medium and am preparing my activity on another platform. If I am ready, I will inform it on the channel. Thank you. Take care!!

[@theohaase]

@GrigorianAnt Just some R&R, detective. :)

[@nikkimor5135]

I am 34, I don't feel old, I was suicidal all my life but now I want to live, I lived to the day I went to Japan and it was the happiest month in my life. If I can give you a piece of advice, try to going to nature to see alot of water, mountains etc. You have great English, maybe try talking to tourists and this will be new for you and you won't feel bored because their life is different from yours and you can learn new things. Anyway hope it helps, everything is temporary but I live in the moment, enjoy eating, hiking whatever even though it's for now.

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@nikkimor5135 You have an insightful idea. Thank you for your advice. I will do it!

[@Hummus420]

Thank you good man Iam 28 and I have alot of mental issues and lost my favorite person mother recently we must live and see the world as challenge and be greatful for smallest things because soon its over.. You are awesome I enjoy your voice and your life truths, it feels better seeing your video Best wishes and respect

[@aiden9586]

Rest in peace to your mother. You are a very strong person. Best wishes to you.

[@Gilbertineable]

See how many people have such high regard for you - you must be doing something right! Your videos are helping other people and that is marvellous

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@Gilbertineable Your comments always encourage me to create things!

[@testariveritatis8564]

As a Catholic myself, I was listening to this video, and you wonderfully explained the feelings I've been dealing with for a while (lack of enjoyment, no sympathy with the world, and feeling older) I could only sigh about what mysticism and religious stuff I would love to tell you about, such as the Desert Fathers (Christian monks), or of St. John of the Cross. I was overcome with sadness, since it would simply be rude and difficult to make a KZbin comment similar to 'You should read this author,' or something like that. And then at 8:15 in the video you actually mentioned John of the Cross, and I was so happy! St. John of the Cross is very, very rough to read, but it is nice to know that we are not the first people to feel what we are feeling - many men have gone before us, and they walked the same road! Either way, your videos are wonderful, brother.

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@testariveritatis8564 Saint John of the Cross is my hero. But it takes time to understand what he intended to say in his books. Thank you for watching!

[@mikehawk6683]

I have recently started to enjoy your videos, I didn’t know it, but I like hearing about other peoples lives and how they think and feel. Thank you for sharing.

[@natvrgal]

i once felt old when i was even younger than you. Finding friends similar to you really is a huge help and the more you find you will find fulfillment in life through social stuff

[@NobodiesBusinessimo]

Some days will seem more difficult to appreciate than others. I remember a recent video of yours when you spoke of your vivid and beautiful imagination, and how it can be even more enjoyable than movies. I hope you find light today, friend, it is there and it is for you.

[@SammieCreeperz]

You are a very special soul, I hope this video has at least helped you to gather and express your thoughts and feelings. I’m 29 and I feel old sometimes, my anxiety and depression tell me to sleep a lot when I feel low or numb, but you need to ignore it. Constantly bickering with your own mind can leave anyone feeling tired way before their time and I agree that it does feel like becoming old. I used to feel like I was depressed all the time but then I noticed that I always seemed to compare my mood with when I was feeling real joy and happiness, just because you’re not feeling super high doesn’t mean you’re sad or doing anything wrong with your life, just feeling okay is sometimes just as good, just feeling contempt with the yourself and your surroundings. Maybe when you feel ‘bored’ you are just feeling comfortable. ❤

[@blubeagle55]

Thank you! I love your insights.

[@basedokadaizo]

hello Yutaka! good evening! (it's after sundown where i am.) i believe you look very good for your age. 11 years older than me! i often worry about becoming old. i know it is inevitable but i am worried i will not have the time to do everything i want to in life before i am expected to stop trying to live. i have only been allowed to live true to myself, i have only loved myself for such a short time, one year compared to twenty-six years lived repressed and lying to others by telling them i am normal when i am not, and that G-d hated the abnormal people like i really was inside. i believed G-d really did hate me until recently. "contemplation is not without crisis," you definitely speak the truth. i want to live but i am still scared of what may happen to me if i try. i am scared of missing out, but i am so desperate to survive that i just become older instead of living. thank you for sharing your wisdom with us again, Yutaka. 度もありがとうございます。頑張ってと気をつけてください。

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@basedokadaizo You may have had good experiences, but sometimes people are afraid of aging, regardless of their age. However, we can all accept our entire selves and live freely. I believe that the fear of aging is natural, not strange. Eventually, people come to realize that aging is essential for being free.

[@basedokadaizo]

@@yutakawithschizophrenia that makes sense. freedom comes from knowledge, knowledge comes at least partly from experience, and experience comes with age. i appreciate your response and thank you for it, i'll keep moving forward just like you do!

[@NahNah-xg5wv]

Happy to hear you have your best friend. My father was 48.

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@NahNah-xg5wv I feel sorry for your father. He was so young. But he did great things in you.

[@aiden9586]

You're a really inspirational guy. I really respect you. You have a lot of knowledge to share with the world.

[@SamuelKathman]

You have a very unique perspective that is simultaneously very relatable. You are doing good work making these videos. They are incredibly valuable

[@bigdawg6471]

Some days are worse than others, thank you for being so transparent. Watching your videos also helps me understand myself better and for me to be more kind to myself. Sending love from Canada!

[@Jperea760]

I understand and agree that all you did over the summer affected your condition. I use the term “bandwidth” so when I overextend myself or spend too much time in large social settings. It cause me to become extremely tired after the fact. So I say I don’t have the “bandwidth “ when I’m in this state. I also recommend you try to meditate with the rosary or chaplet! I heard you speak of St. John of the cross…

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@Jperea760 Thank you!!

[@Gilbertineable]

It's possible that your medication has dumbed you down but of course you have to take your medication. I wish I was 38 again. I feel like a 90 year old woman. But I am learning to adapt to my condition. As someone who has BPD I have a low boredom threshold. You are doing really well despite your obstacles and your videos are inspirational. Life is hard. Another quality video!

[@ingunnmyskja8199]

I love your perspective on life even when dealing with mental difficulties! Very wise and inspirational words!

[@jacquelinea8719]

thank you for talking about being weak to stress. me too. i've had a very bad day and your video helped me a lot

[@WhiteCourtain]

At 38 you are not old! I care for elderly most of them near 100 and some tell me their life just begun at 50, some started travelling at 70, some found love at 80. Getting old seems daunting but aging is natural and beautiful, be proud how far you've made it and never give up working on yourself ❤

[@dubravkabelogrlicdubravka]

You are in the prime of your life. As long as you keep active mentally and physically to keep yourself going you will be fine:). Meditation helps a lot. Keep pushing on! Cheers

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@dubravkabelogrlicdubravka Yes. Thank you for watching!

[@rhuanmartins732]

wise words bro!!

[@regf2]

Hey you just appeared in my recommended feed, I also have schizophrenia. So I subscribed lol,

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@regf2 peace be with you!

[@pamkitty]

Really enjoying your videos . could you do more budget japanese recipes please ? :)

[@iitskii]

YOU ARE AMAZING

[@KayosHybrid]

Do you ever do projects? Crafting, learning a new skill via tutorials online, anything that keeps your hands busy. My mind has gotten emptier from chronic mental illness, so I can’t do complicated passions anymore that require hard thinking. I don’t write fiction or read books anymore. But I feel mental peace when I am busy with my hands, but not my mind. Clay, wood working, puzzles, origami, dance, building toys, painting miniatures. Maybe you will discover a new passion, or a steady way to distract and feel satisfied. Maybe if you stumble on a passion you will also make friends online who have similar hobbies.

[@Gilbertineable]

What about sudoku !!!

[@edsbread1422]

You might enjoy the writings of Father Seraphim Rose

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@edsbread1422 Thank you for letting me know it. I will check it!

[@Bogman-w5z]

I'm only 20 but i feel like you beat yourself up too much about not enjoying anything and growing old, i feel like you should start trying new hobbies and stuff, even at 38 it's not too late to get new interests. Also stop thinking about the middle crisis stuff, you might not even have it and the more you think about it the more it will affect your thoughts. Hope it will get better though, you seem like a really nice person

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@Bogman-w5z Thank you. You have a good insight. I hope you achieve what you believe!

[@TheGrmany69]

Nice video but I beg to disagree on the meditation thing, contemplation means to observe without engaging in any mental process, that's the challenge... It's a focus exercise to embrace uncertainty and detach from the "ego" which is the essence of the "I'm" we say to ourselves all the time. If you focus on this I believe you will be able to handle that middle life crisis.

[@rickrolld9023]

Bro, have you tried massage?

[@GardenFootCreature]

i thought you were quite younger

[@aviongamer6892]

I’m older hehehe

[@Ajisukitakahikone]

Youre not old brother

[@anonymous12726]

I am reaching out to you. I would love to video talk with you. Would you care to do it?

[@yutakawithschizophrenia]

@@anonymous12726 Oh, hi! Thank you for your comment. Are you referring to a specific social media platform?

[@basedfacistman]

2:05 are you a schizoid too?