I Am Returned - Life Update | Black Friday

[@Beforeandafterduo]

Beach Goths do exist and YES they are cool too.

[@andreykankermakeup.8558]

Hell yeah 🤟🏻

[@MxPotato84]

Of course we exist! Lol

[@Beforeandafterduo]

@Tw1st3dxTc 🖤🖤🖤

[@Beforeandafterduo]

@@andreykankermakeup.8558 🖤🖤🖤

[@Beforeandafterduo]

@@MxPotato84 🖤🖤🖤

[@jellybean4]

My depression had the "I care, yet I can't bring myself to do anything about it". It's an awful feeling.

[@janedoe4471]

I think everyone gets bit by the black dog differently, I had the “my insides are hollow, I am polluted, my existence or lack there of is worthless” vibe. I don’t think there are comparable levels per se.

[@CristinaF210]

That's depression in one sentence darling, I hope you feel better I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I'm so bad at it, I do know depression like my second skin, I hope you are having better days ❤️just keep trying it's all one can do

[@Hedoneo0]

Yeah sums it up I tried to go to work but I wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear

[@Junipire]

I’m having a “ I know I should care, I need to care, everyone tells me I must care but I just don’t care and won’t do anything about it” period.

[@janedoe4471]

@@Junipire I’m no therapist, I can only speak from personal experience, which may not help because everyone is different, routines can help, packing in enjoyable self care can help, self forgiveness can help. Trying to do all that at once will not help. So maybe if you give yourself one simple small daily goal, let’s say; spending 3 minutes each day talking to yourself like you would a best friend, “it’s okay, what you’re doing is perfectly fine, I enjoy your company, etc” then maybe the next goal you add is going for a walk outside. Keep it small and in a routine. And be kind to yourself. Anyway that’s just stuff that has helped me in the past/present, take it or leave it, no offence intended or collected.

[@YoLonerFace]

I love the idea that an old couple is on this beach watching a Goth woman running from the waves and making spooky noises, screaching from excitement

[@kteakat9120]

This made me happy🌞😌

[@Doctorandergraun]

I've been following you since I moved to the UK back in 2015, back then I used to wear a full goth outfit and never wore anything but black. But deep inside I felt like I was inside a cage, I remember watching your videos thinking that being a real goth was about wearing black all the time as well as listening to certain Music. But now here I am, nobody will see me as goth anymore by my looks but I still am by heart, still listening to the same music and not giving a fuck anymore :) Now I'm 30 and I am still watching your videos that inspire me like the very first time. I wish you could feel a warm hug I'm sending you from North Spain, I wish you all the best because you truly deserve it. I'll be here now and forever ^^ Thanks for all this years.

[@userpkcu]

That is so inspiring thanks for your strength

[@celeste4098]

La verdad yo siempre sentí que tú misma te reprimmías, que bueno que maduraste y entendiste que las personas no somos caticaturas estáticas

[@ComiccollectorGamer]

All I ever wear is Black

[@Anonymous-wb3nz]

Goth is literally a MUSIC based subculture. An actual Goth would know this....

[@annefaversani1139]

I can perfectly relate to everything you said. I used to live in a small town and when I moved to "the big city", in another state and started university, I started dressing myself all in black and properly listen to the goth music (with I already knew a bit and liked since childhood, but never really listened to it), but I never actually considered myself a goth person. Other people, on the other hand, always "labelled" me as goth. Almost two years after, I started feeling sick of wearing all black everyday, so I started "colouring" my wardrobe and that never really meant something important or a step or anything like that for me. Because that's the point, you never stop being who you trully are.

[@Mothermetalhead]

Depression makes me feel like I'm on autopilot. Like my body goes through the motions but mentally I'm just not there. I've found myself blacking out simply walking through the house and not realizing how I went from one room to another. The loss of interest is almost inevitable. I often times find myself wishing for death but not actually....dying? I know that doesn't make sense but in my head it does. Like.. even now I wouldn't be mad if a car just happened to hit me.

[@andromedaspark2241]

It makes sense. I've been on autopilot driving, which is not cool but apparently driving just fine. Your body can go on without you. There have been many mornings I wake up, and am not thrilled to do so. If it weren't for an illness and having legal protection for it (FMLA in the USA) I'd have been fired rom my job so many times. My depressive actions people chalk up to illness. I'm about to go in for a surgery, again, and truly would prefer not to wake up from anasthesia. Seems like a good way to go. Trying to hold on to a few bucket list things to stay active/hopeful. Dang it, I want to spend a week at Disney World before I die.

[@ladyredl3210]

When I was truly deep in clinical depression I had the same thing.

[@olivep3485]

That feeling of apathy is so terrifying. It's not even wanting to kill yourself. It's just this tired feeling in your soul that wants to rest. And you're just wishing for something to give you the ticket out. I wish you the best

[@blightedroses2423]

I don't know if I can remember what it's like not being depressed. For me it feels like my soul has left my body, I feel like I'm not there anymore. I feel like I'm following a formula of what I would be like if I was myself. Like I write down things l like so I remember what kind of person I am.

[@meowthepro1746]

@Mothermetalhead: This reminds me so hard of myself. Going to work without any interest. The hourly drive often just... happened and I didn't realize it, but could tell it happened from the exhaustion it caused. Sometimes I had conversations at work, where my mind just slipped away and I didn't know, how the talk ended, because the person "suddenly" disappeared... I wished myself gone, but I always was, am and will be too afraid of going over the edge. After experiencing a Covid 19 - infection, I realized, that life CAN be precious. I try to do now progress day by day. One step forward, sometimes two steps back. It might not be much, but it is the best someone can do sometimes. I wish you a lot of power to go on and to get better.

[@catherine59226]

Your life is so beautiful now! You have Mr. Owl and two gorgeous children. Thank you for sharing your life with us! ❤ I’ve dealt with anxiety and panic attacks for many years. I was also on medication for many years. It got to the point where I told my physician to wean me off of medication. I just didn’t want to rely on it any longer. So, it’s been about six years without medication and I’ve learned how to cope. My husband and sons are incredibly supportive. So, I’m very grateful for them.

[@danielpayne824]

Just know that you're not alone, depression is such an awful life stealing poison, we've got your back, allways.

[@ucitymetalhead]

I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people and friendships/dating too and honestly I hate it. I see a lot of similarities with you when you describe depression and stress.

[@meredithdavitt8]

I admire your strength Freya, getting help and advocating taking medication for your mental health. You are amazing ♥️

[@theembersinside1420]

I hate to post the typical "I've been feeling the same way," but its true. I'm in a REALLY rough patch in my life, after an exceptionally longer rough patch. I COMPLETELY understand how ur feeling & even tho its easier said than done, PLEASE don't feel guilty for feeling how u do. Sometimes ppl make u feel sh*t by saying things like "it could be worse," but those ppl obvs have nvr been depressed or they wouldn't say that. You're a beautiful, powerful, strong human being. TY4 posting this. Its an important kind of conversation to keep open. Love & hugs 2u!

[@sang_de_rose5361]

I feel this entire thing so much. You are NOT alone in your thinking. The part where you said about not wanting to die, but just feeling apathetic is so so so true for me too. I too have been on meds for years and continue to experience similar episodes of out of body-ness. Right there with you, dear dark one. Sending you softness and peace. Ps congratulations on the new house!!! My jaw dropped in excitement for you two.

[@jeffgamble8957]

big black batwinged hearts are flyin out around the world atcha Frida! I hope now that youve got a new place and space to breathe that things will get better and better for you. I too have lost far to much time fighting the black dog as Churchill called it...two steps forward and three steps back somedays but things get better eventually ...what i wouldnt do to have that beach to walk on ...mustve been a fisherman in a past life. ive always found beaches and water to be ...calming,soothing...good for the soul. Love out to ya Frida . and Mr Owl too. Stay strong and keep rockin on!

[@lisnavy1]

LMAO, "brains can be such trolls"... That statement made my day🤣

[@nightshadelee]

You're spot on about the things you miss when you have no access to them. I've been living in a motel for 3 years, and finally we move into a house this week. I just finished setting the bedroom up and ... I cried. Finally being able to decorate my space and make it mine was ... amazing for my mental health. All the best in the world to you and Mr. Owl

[@barbaraleaweaver-mercado1820]

Overwhelmed. That's how I feel when the depression hits. You didn't let me down. I am glad you are dealing with it. Keep on keeping on.

[@videogalwatch]

Blessings & psychic hugs. You are a maker & giver who got sucked in to the vortex that is depression. Your seekimg Resources For Help shows Your Resilence.

[@FrostyDufour]

Depression is like eternally sinking in a tar pit, or Goya's Saturn Eating His Son, just awful. I'm so glad to hear that things are turning around for you! Bright blessings Freyja💕💐

[@joelisanichole306]

The best way I find to describe depression is it’s like a cancer that eats you alive but yet you will keep on living, so you could live your whole life with this hell inside you, draining your life force slowly and it doesn’t end it just keeps on going.

[@SirSblop]

"Life isn't always grand." that quote sticks out to me xD

[@go2hellgrl]

Freya, I feel you 100%. Please let your mother help you with therapy. She wants what’s best for you. Therapy has done wonders for me. Sometimes medication isn’t enough. You deserve to be happy and feel well. Congrats on your new home! All the best❤️.

[@ancareut6637]

I just wanted to say that I ve never thought bad about you when you were not posting and I just hoped that you are ok and safe. I am happy that everything is getting together and you are getting better! Lots of kisses and hugs! 🤗😘

[@Firebird894]

I have lifelong mental illness and autism I understand everything you are saying you are overwhelmed. People who are good people will understand and forgive you. They will care. Those who don't well, there is just nothing you can do about that let go of the guilt and take care of you. You cannot be there for anyone else if you are not first there for yourself. Take care of you do what you need to do and don't feel like you have to hide this from people it is good to talk about this and I wish more people would. It effects so many people and so many of us truly do understand and care. xxx

[@nightshade1732]

This was was too relatable, especially constant panic attacks triggered by the smallest things. People act as if mental illness is a game but It can be such a living hell. The smallest of things can become hard to do and you really can drown in a sea of your own darkness. But you havent let us down, you have not spread negative energy, if anything getting notifications from this channel brings a smile to people, at least that's what it does for me. I admire your strength and am happy to know things have been improving for you. Whatever plans you have in your future I hope you succeed in.

[@LostinDarkness69]

I have a "forever with me" depression... I know what you mean... And i'm so glad you're back, i really missed you

[@DansLikeaRockstar]

8:00 A chopped zombie arm casually laying on the sand behind Freya is the perfect background 😁

[@jadedbelle4788]

Lol. I was thinking it looked like a giant arm bone. My next thought was i wonder if anyone has made a skeleton out of driftwood and how i wished i live somewhere where i could make a skeleton out of driftwood

[@iamragdollsally]

I love you so much Black Friday!!

[@ringmasterscarnivalofterro5982]

Please Mr owl stay by her side and love her!!!

[@karkats-longsleeves154]

I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY YOURE FINALLY IN A HOME!!! YOURE one of my fave people online no lie and it broke my WHOLE heart that stuff was happening while you were alone physically in other countries especially after a breakup as big as that one, so I WISH YOU TONSOF HAPPINESSS and goodluck with mental health

[@LSBraham]

Ugh...relatable. The last few years have been so trying. I’m so sick of feeling shitty & misunderstood.

[@anthonyvickery6706]

I love you Black Friday 🦇 you’re not useless xxx

[@julianec8494]

You' re such a nice person, the way you talk, the way you are, you're explaining your behavior and so on... You'll be alright, I know it. Sending lots of love and power and wish you all the best XXX ❤

[@dianefields295]

Yes I have same things with my medications. So I am very sorry about your dad in hospital, hope he get better. Your mum is okay. Someone take care of your mum. Your friendship end and wait for get visa to return back to Germany. Don’t forget to get cornavirus shots and wear mask on when you on plane back to Germany. I hope you will be okay. We are love you and your parents no matter. This is a beautiful beach. 👍😊😘🤟🏽🖤🖤🦇💀📱

[@Spideymania]

I've been living with depression for a long time. I just feel empty. I feel like I have nothing to offer because I have nothing to offer to myself. It sucks. Thank you for the video. I missed you. I appreciate the honesty about depression and your life. I just wish I knew what to do.

[@SchoolRumble4ever22]

I know it feels impossible but this will pass one day. And the relief of being able to breath without that WEIGHT will feel like it was worth it. Please hang on.

[@purplejanew]

Totally relate about the not-sad depression, the apathy, the fear of the in-box, the inability to move through the day. BUT - You are just such a beacon for me I can't tell you. Every time I see you upload it makes my heart happy. I am so happy for you! Sending lots of love and support and in an alternative timeline we meet and collab and make videos together and I hope you have a wonderful future full of joy and Owlness and maybe some furbabies?? 💜💜💜💜🦇🦇🦇🦇💀💀💀💀

[@mathissea4346]

Good to hear you’re doing better. I’m one of those life long depression people so I can really sympathize with what you went through/are going through. Very glad you seem to have made it through the worst part and are on the way to recovery! Congrats on the house too!!! Looking forward to seeing more of you in the future! 🖤🖤🖤

[@SouthernGothBelle]

At the time you filmed this I was feeling really low. I have adhd so my depression definitely comes in that feeling of wanting to do something but also being trapped inside my body. I had just graduated college and immediately come down with mono. 6 months later I’m finally feeling better. I even lost a bit of weight, got on new medication, found a great therapist, and actively job hunting in my field. Congrats on your new baby🖤 much love. 🖤

[@kkeegan32]

More new Zealand vlogs is fine with me. Take care of yourself. Love each other. Love you kids 🖤

[@JariDawnchild]

I'm glad to see you doing better, and here's a bunch of well-wishes, virtual hugs, and heartwarming sunrises to carry with you whenever you need a short break from the world. :-) I'm looking forward to seeing more content on here (KZbin's the only thing I do as far as social media anymore lol) from you, but take as long or short as you need, taking care of your self's more important. Speaking of content, is there any chance of you doing a house tour in the future? As near or far as you need it, if you choose to do one. :-)

[@chaoscat666]

wonderful to see you and I can totally relate, depression is awful and to come out the other side of it is hard. But we've got your back and I am so happy you're in a better home environment now!!

[@1986mooncat]

If you like to go to metal concerts you have to come to Holland cause here there are starting to come back after the horrible time living with the corona virus. I have bookend one in October, and its a Dutch new band called Blackbrair. If you haven't heard of them yet, it's symphonic metal and her voice its just breathtaking ☠ and the concert is just 14 euro's

[@typhonman]

Lots of admiration for you in speaking up on depression. This will help and enthuse people in coping. Hope you's get to Scotland. I'm in Northwest England with plenty of fellow Goths. Love to Mr Owl too! 😎

[@AvalynnsAntics]

Your Belfry Bat Family will always be hanging here for you. Always 🖤 We love you our dearest Queen of Darkness.

[@corbettfineart]

It’s so wonderful to see you. I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through. Depression is awful and it seems to just creep up suddenly. You are an extraordinary woman and a huge inspiration in so many ways. You are stronger than you think and loved more than you know. May you always be surrounded by love, happiness, and joy.

[@slurpydurp7242]

Depression is one of the worst illnesses because it fucks everything up. Everything is hard and nothing is fun. I’m sorry that you also have to suffer. I hope that we both get healthy soon. You’re a lovely person and I really like your content

[@rjchavers9267]

I totally understand how you feel about repeatedly knowing you have disappointed people that actually are important to you. I've cut out a lot of relationships, family and friends, not because they cut me off, but because I have depression and feel like it's better for them not to deal with my being in and out on them. I've had my depression for decades now know how I am and that they deserve better than what I can offer. I'm really happy for you getting to feel like yourself more from hanging out with your family. It helps me to spend time with my family too. Congratulations on your progress in your life journey. You're such a sweet woman and I wish you much love and happiness in your years to come. 💛 Edit: I'm always patiently awaiting KZbinrs like yourself BF and you owe me nothing, so as far as someone like myself is concerned, you do you girl and I'll get in where I fit in. 🤗

[@PaxPanic]

I sorta felt like I was listening to myself. I haven't been with your channel long, but I really like you. I hate you are going thru this but like many have said, you are not alone. And you matter. (And you are awesome)

[@popculturevegan]

Althoufh I am often still mortified to share my struggles with mental illness I continue to do so because more often than not my sharing helps someone else feel less ashamed of their struggles. Thank you Freya, for being such a remarkably forthright and authentic person. I am grateful to you for the way you use your forum.

[@anthony_lovett]

Depression can also make us be harder on ourselves, you've never once been a useless human being Freya and i really mean that. Your situation is scary and overwhelming and im so so happy you're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel 🖤

[@ketchdeweese5771]

I've struggled with depression since I was way too young. A few years ago, I was he happiest I'd ever been. Now, I've hit a new low. I'm experiencing all that right now, again. 😬 I also have a huge problem with completely ghosting people and shutting them out. I've also been living stagnant in the exact same life for like the last five years, and I'm sick of it, but also it's kinda comfy and change is difficult and UNcomfy. I've tried to change a few times, only to fall back into old habits and be disappointed with myself. ✌️ I think I've needed to unload all that for awhile. 😅 Thank you for sharing your struggles. Huge congrats on things staring to get better! I've started feeling a bit better myself :D

[@kellyhelms6381]

We're here for you, too, Ketch!

[@deadinside8781]

It sounds like me. If I tried dating people for the first time ever, my life could move forward, but I like coming home from work, doing what I want, making sure I can get by, sans and relationship drama that will likely be because I'm too "depressive".

[@ketchdeweese5771]

@@kellyhelms6381 that's so nice, thank you! 🥺

[@garyablet3446]

Glad you are back Friday . Mornigtown Ride - The Seekers xx

[@itisblackfriday]

I secretly not so secretly love that song and The Seekers ;) x

[@garyablet3446]

@@itisblackfriday Bless xx

[@danielle7407]

I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough time. Depression fucking sucks and I can relate to so many of the things you mentioned. The guilt is so real. And girl, I’m sure I speak for all the belfry bats when I say that we’re here for you when you’re ready. No pressure. 🖤❤️

[@Mim_And_theOthers]

Oh you beautiful bat, I've missed you here BUT the real life is so much more important and I could cry hearing, how bad you felt in Scottland back then. I hope you are recovering and get well! Much love to you

[@Menoetia]

Speaking from a place of intimate experience, it takes time. Baby steps, lots of time, and good people around you who understand that being depressed was not and is not ever a choice. And sometimes, if you can't un-fuck something, you just have to let it go and let the guilt go too.

[@MidnightMaximalist]

You've moved to my town!! Very much hoping to run into you at the supermarket or beach 🤞it is quiet and full of old people, but it's a great home base to come back to after world adventures for an introvert like me. Been here 5 years now and loving it!

[@starnights6295]

You don't need to apologise to anyone babe, depression is a fucker and your family, friends and belfry bat's will always be there for you. I would love to see a home tour. Take care of yourself xxxx

[@kellybraille]

I’ve often wanted to send you a hug, but never more than today. You’re such a darling person, and you’ve always made me smile, I’m so heartsick to hear you’re struggling. Thank you for sharing YEARS of smiles with me, and I wish you the best. Big hugs from Texas. ❤️

[@lordscaryy221]

Depression is a drug! It’s hard to break away from. Depression isn’t wanting to kill your self but simply is wanting to not exist ever.

[@Mimi-sf5sq]

Applause to you. Don't listen to the haters. You are a great person and have done some remarkable things with your life. We love you bunches and hope you never stop being you. I would LOVE to see you and Mr. Owl do a little tour together. Y'all are so cute together and for people like myself who don't travel I'd love to see a little of y'alls home.. Blessings Baby girl.

[@peachyded465]

For the longest time I didn't want to be "weak" and give in to taking medication. A couple weeks ago I ended up having a bad panic attack I went to the ER thinking it was a heart attack. It really made me wake up in a way. The torture I was putting myself though by not wanting to be seen as lesser had to stop. I had to realize that it didn't make me weak. It's strong to admit that you aren't doing well and if you need help. I have always admired your strength as a person. Life can go upside down and all around but you always pull through and keep moving forward. You are such an inspiration and I am so glad you're here. :)

[@champagnecoloredeyes]

“Things have been a bit ... shit.” LOL yup same here

[@MaraJadeSkky]

I've had major depression more than half of my life now. My final remaining grandparent passed away a month ago. She would have been 95 this month. And my oldest and most beloved dog passed away 2 weeks ago. I feel for you.💙

[@bensonrosenstein2637]

We are a community because of *you*. We owe this magical little chanel everything. We love you.

[@avampiresdestiny6101]

You are absolutely lovely and admire you quite a lot. You’re the type of older sister or best friend we all wish we could have

[@OddGaming795]

HOME GIRL IS BACK

[@girlindesert]

I understand what you are saying depression is not just sadness, it is the loss of vitality!

[@joeybrinskey7795]

Please take care of yourself dear…you are such a beautiful woman and soul. Thank you for being real…💙

[@MC-hx9ub]

Lifelong depression here, and I also cut off from people at the worst times, and like so many of your viewers I totally understand. You did amazingly to cope with a traumatic relationship breakdown in a foreign country and then to set up in Scotland despite all the difficulties- and you turned that into your endearing Song of Unfortunate Events! I dont think I was alone in feeling concern for you during a frightening and lonely time in your life, and feeling happy and impressed that you got through it as you did. Your recent NZ vlogs brought me joy. Not just gorgeous Milford, but even the flooded dirt road in Glenorchy- I was saying hey, that's the road where I picked my husband up after he hiked Cascade Saddle! Memories of life before Covid......If you are unable to do any more 'planned' videos right now, we will always just enjoy it if you share your trips, your day to day life, your new home, whatever. Be kind to yourself!

[@briannellewellyn6844]

I almost feel like depressed and anxious is the new normal for the masses these days. Hell of a time to be alive. I'm just glad you didn't have to go through all that in the US cause as we all know its a total dumpster fire here. Just keep trudging until you can skip through life. Your a wonderful woman regardless of what your brain may try to tell you. Hope the days get easier for you.

[@nikkikaracic1519]

Thanks for being so honest ❤️ not gonna lie, not a goth at all, never connected with the lifestyle, but for some reason been watching you for years and years, and I just adore you. You’ve always been such a shining light on this platform, and I’m glad to see your working through all your struggles. It gets easier one day, and you’ll come out on top of all of this.

[@Gia_Mc_Fia]

The sound you make after you say kitchen is truly iconic 14:18 and in my opinion, no one could have done that better than you. 🦇

[@janiebrossmann1178]

Even though you don’t owe anyone an explanation of what is going on in your personal life...I agree that it helps release frustration, sad, and negativity. Stay strong 🖤

[@toastcrumbsinmybed9841]

Maybe house tour video? Goth gardens? OP shopping? I know nz op shops have the goodies, especially from strange towns 😂 Gemstone beach vlog?

[@gwts1171]

Knowing that things will get better is a HUGE thing. I've dealt with depression most of my 49 years and I still have good days and bad days. Love ya, girl! I lurk in your live streams, but I'm glad you're back here, too.

[@bb1111.]

I'm worse at keeping in touch with people. Exact same feeling about it as you. 100% relatable. Thinking about these people and wishing them well 10000x easier than actually calling.

[@voidtapwater4676]

Having chronic depression is awful, it's so incredibly different to do basic everyday things like showering and even eating because it's just- so overwhelming. I'm really proud of you for doing your best with your depression, I know how incredibly difficult it is, and I promise you, no matter how small or little a thing you do for a day, it's enough, and appreciated. You're really strong and you're amazing i'm really glad you're doing better darling 🖤 :)

[@koulouria]

For the past five years, if not six, Black Friday has been my favorite KZbinr and the only one I cared to keep up with. I hope that she is feeling well enough to start uploading regularly, but if not, I will be happily waiting for as long as it takes! These videos will always warm my cold, black heart.

[@shannonrobillard5174]

Congrats on your move to a house, that is wonderful, I totally understand depression and panic attacks, I just started a new medications and they are really helping, so good to see your beautiful face by the beach, hope your feeling better

[@steviebarr7353]

Nice to have you back!

[@ehmw2009]

Yep that is exactly what it is like with depression. You are immensely strong to gone as far as you have. There is light at the end of the tunnel, stay strong xx

[@Rhyiannion]

Oh My Dear, I am glad you are doing great. A new house so very cool!! We have some similarities, I lost my Nana... she was my best friend. Still can't talk about her. I am now a Paranoid Freak with the whole covid thing. Panicking to roll up the window if someone approaches the car. I'm not yelling at people in the street or pulling a Gertrude (from Corpse Bride) but, this it is kinda scary. Never had panic attacks before. I am depressed I stopped making my copper jewelry and my top hats. I must say, since I watched you ( just recently, can't remember what the vid was), I started to dress a bit better, sort of putting an outfit together. So THANK YOU!!! I feel very lucky to know, well not really know, you. You know what I mean. That I found you here. As an Old Lady Goth, it is so awesome to finally see Goth stuff, cool people, 'cuz growing up there was nothing. Especially when you live in the toolies (sticks/ very small town) nothing but mountains and forests as far as the eye can see. Sorry for my slang geesh you would think one would grow out of that. Ha!! Double nickels now and in June, I'm double nickels and a penny, 'cuz I'm keepin' the change!!

[@isabelhoffman7077]

So happy for you and Mr. Owl! cant wait for more content ive missed you so much :)

[@oliiver-q6g]

yes, I know this was 3 years ago, but I still want to say this you matter and you're not alone I've gone thru this before it sucks but just know you are a good person and just because you have depression does not mean that you are a bad person wish you and Mr. owl the best of luck!!!

[@aiden3627]

I’m well experienced with depression so I’m glad we bats could be of some reprieve and I’m happy that you were able to get a new place! I lived out of a suitcase in a bedroom for two years after being displaced and in and out of my parents place for years it’s not easy now I’ve finally got my own apartment, it’s amazing how much having your own place can help lift that mood. Here’s to a brighter future!

[@Lana-dv2hl]

Great video and good to hear your trying to make progress in your life. My Mom says any amount of progress no matter how small or big the progress may be it's still progress. Miss you and hugs

[@vamonosrampage]

Though I never wish anyone to have to deal with any form of mental health issues, it’s comforting being reminded that I am not alone. It’s so hard to explain to others how it feels some times on why I don’t get things done and so on but hearing you say it made me feel less alone. I am sending tons of good positive vibes your way and I am so happy y’all have a house now ❤️

[@lauriecalkins781]

I understand. I’ve had really severe depression to the point that I wouldn’t get out of bed, wouldn’t bathe etc. Wishing you good vibes. Always love your videos.❤️

[@ShisaAi]

You are a beautiful person, as a person who’s suffering from depression, I understand, please don’t let it all get you down , take your time getting better , because people like you are delightful and make people like me happier too

[@thegingergyrl455]

I live with bipolar 1 and many other chronic illnesses so I understand depression and anxiety and more. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on your feelings. I’ve been living with all this for 20yrs so I get letting people down. Everyday I feel like I’ve failed but I keep going. I’m a multi attempt survivor and guilt doesn’t even cover that part of my life. I keep in touch with no one either and I’ve lost many people. Been suicidal since I was 6. So it’s second nature to me. We all have our burdens but we must go on. My love to you , thanks for being such a beacon to us. Love and Light.

[@AuroraTigress]

Congrats on the house! Things like that can also help one's mental health.

[@gizzygibbs]

It’s lovely to have u back depression is horrible take care and keep being u. ❤️

[@PeachIntoxication]

Missed hearing from you. But happy to see anything. Could listen to you ramble on about socks if that was it.

[@MyRavenWings]

I have major depressive disorder, I’ve lived with depression off and on for most my life. I have a magnet that is really encouraging, it says: “ Use all your courage today, we’ll get more tomorrow.” So you fight with courage everyday, it’s a lot of work, but it is worth it. You are worth it. You’re important, and your work is important. But you do have to put yourself first, get that shower, get out of bed, get some nutritious food. Part of depression is losing the joy of simple things in your life. Find something each day that gives you a positive emotion. I keep a gratitude journal when I feel myself slipping back towards depression. I don’t mean to tell you what to do, it’s just some advise. I haven’t been able to make very many streams, because I’ve been working so much. But I do care how you’re doing, and I hope you can kick this depression in the butt!

[@TheCristi526626]

Thank you so much for making this video. Every word you have said has described how I’ve felt for the last couple of years. Hearing these words have really touched me and in a way it has brought me relief.

[@ninadavis2763]

I suffer with bipolar two disorder and I understand how paralyzing depressions can be, wishing you lots of love!

[@avulgarpicture2651]

I really enjoyed just hearing you talk about and everything and your own personal struggles you’ve been facing because I was in the same boat the beginning of this year for a few months. Hearing someone else describe depression so accurately is super validating and lets me know there are many others going through the same struggle. So glad you’re doing way better!

[@JaimyHulters]

Not wanting to die, but not caring about dying is called a passive death wish. I've really struggled with it in the last years... just constantly imagining falling down the stairs and breaking your neck, getting hit by a car, getting sick and dying or just going to sleep and not waking up anymore. But I'm taking medication now and it's going better ! So I hope you'll continue to improve aswell !

[@tablescissors]

Ennui

[@FabioRigokimbaorso]

Love to hear from you after a while... keep working on yourself , that's the best thing... We want you happy , the content will be come out of you feeling fine...

[@MxPotato84]

Im glad to heard you and Mr. Owl have moved to a nice new home and you are starting to do better. I want this covid thing to end too cuz i too miss traveling and seeing my friends! I got my first vaccine last week and will get my second in mid June. This pandemic has messed with my mental health as well, and losing my elderly cat last September made it worse. But im doing better as well finally. So here’s to us and everyone else struggling with depression! The light at the end of the tunnel coming! New beginnings is at the horizon!

[@tigeress699]

I was diagnosed with an anxiety and depression disorder at 12 years old and OCD at 13. For me, it was sadness and that dark, ominous feeling that I couldn't explain? I'm turning 25 next week and obviously I'm not 12 anymore and am a totally different person. Right now, I'm dealign with constant intrusive thoughts from my OCD but my depression comes and goes but it never lasts long. I understand what you're going through and I will tell you this as someone who wanted to kill themselves as a child, life is worth living. Life gets 10000000 times better and then some, and those feeling that you think are permanent, it's not. You're depression and anxiety is lying to you and people genuinely love and care about you and would never be able to keep on living if you died. I'm not suicidal and I'm genuinely very happy and every day it really does get better! Nothing awful lasts forever and life is so wonderful and there are billions of people that care about you and don't want to hurt you. I'm always here if you need to talk and you're not fucked up. It's okay to admit you're having a problem and as long as the earth has been around, people have suffered the same things you're feeling and you are not alone!

[@cristiaolson7327]

"WITH A PROPER KITCHEN!" I felt that. I live in an adorable vintage home in a nice old neighborhood full of a mix of young families with kids and retirees. It's got cute hardwood floors and is very charming. However, the kitchen was "remodeled" by the landlord before I moved in, and it's obvious he didn't understand how kitchens work, so let's just call it "challenging" to use...