"I Am Rich" - And Other Apps for Dumb People

So this video is all about ridiculous apps. At first, I was like "wow, these are some pretty weak app developers", but while making the video I realised that really the people who buy them are the ridiculous ones. If some guy throws up an app on the app store for $1000 and people buy it, who's the dummy? I also get into reading some Amazon reviews for infamous three wolf tee a bit later in the episode. Hmm, if people actually read this description (unlikely), if this video gets 10k likes I will buy and wear said three wolf tee for at least one video. And yes, 10,000 likes is ridiculous, it's about what number of views this channel normally gets right now... But so is the t-shirt.
Simon's Social Media:
Twitter: / simonwhistler
Instagram: / simonwhistler
Simon's Other Channels:
TodayIFoundOut: / todayifoundout
TopTenz: / toptenznet
Biographics: / @biographics
Visual Politik: / @visualpolitiken
Highlight History: / @highlighthistory
Geographics: / @geographicstravel

[@KneeDeepInTheDead81]

I've always wanted an app that repeats "Hey Google!" and makes other phones say "Hey Google"

[@sirsmartypants7086]

Simon - I should really read these beforehand. Me - Nah, love the format!

[@DEMOL1SHA]

Yes!!

[@brainblaze6526]

Haha yeah, its definitely become part of the style ;). Half facts, half reaction video.

[@InquisMalleus]

Never read them before, Simon! You add so much more this way!

[@KyrstOak]

@@InquisMalleus Agreed!

[@MYNAMEISSIN112]

Business Blaze 👋 Wrong channel , but this is what i m watching now Do a video about all people who stepped on the moon :-)pls

[@StephenButlerOne]

Thr beer app was huge in the early days of smart phones. As was the zipo lighter one.

[@VincentGonzalezVeg]

the gun apps that allowed you to shoot

[@acash93]

the lightsaber app

[@Mersh_mellow]

I feel attacked because I had these all on my first smartphone.

[@curlyfats]

@@Mersh_mellow We all did, man. We all did.

[@aredjayc2858]

@@curlyfats Yup

[@timilehinoriolayt]

This would have been perfect with a skillshare sponsorship

[@stephjovi]

Genius. Take a skillshare course in making an app that noone needs that does nothing and still gets millions of downloads :)

[@brainblaze6526]

Pretty good investment. Learn to code badly in the free trial. Make app. Sell app. Profit. No ??? required.

[@canlelola]

I agree with you on that.

[@TechnicolorDojo]

33% of a Business Blaze Videos is Simon grinning while saying, "I really should read these first."

[@DaveSpathaky]

Yes, stop the overacting and fake cracking up.

[@brainblaze6526]

HOW DARE I ENJOY MYSELF. GET BACK TO THE FACTS YOU FACT ROBOT.

[@brainblaze6526]

And legit. More like 50%.

[@TechnicolorDojo]

@@brainblaze6526 Factdroid. There, named your next channel.

[@brainblaze6526]

@@TechnicolorDojo I'd just do the whole thing doing a Stephen Hawking robot voice.

[@cmdr_thrudd]

Amazon reviews are so funny. 'Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum' is one of my favorites :D

[@BamaChad-W4CHD]

I got some of these "I am rich" apps when they were offered for free on the play store. I thought it was hilarious to offer them for free on occasion

[@niagaradrones]

Your hair is looking remarkably luxurious today Simon

[@VincentGonzalezVeg]

so Fauzzy, hed be nice to cuddle with a cup of earl grey, because hes really nice and his beard is floofy

[@timothyneiswander3151]

I think they have an app for that...

[@Sol-mr1lv]

I love how this is the video that finaly broke Simon and made him reconsider his life

[@brainblaze6526]

I've been working on my new app. Learning to code on Skillshare.

[@Deerhunterjs]

Id actually like a business blaze app that just plays quotes from the videos.

[@annieinwonderland]

@@Deerhunterjs no I want ring tones.

[@SaraMakesArt]

Forget about the apps, I can't get over those magic t-shirts, lol.

[@AlexielRaziel]

I love these videos. Love the personality coming through and PLEASE do the Amazon reviews!

[@TheLoneDragoon]

Yes, please, I need that in my life!!!!!

[@KiwiTigress]

Yes! Especially the Haribo Sugarfree Gummy Bears one! Hilarious 😂 And there's one for a hair removal cream that guys have used on their nether regions or something? Can't remember the brand though. I was crying by the end 😂😂😂

[@alaska2026]

Do you guys have a links for the videos you mentioned? Thanks :)

[@js00065]

I concur, it could be quite popular

[@--enyo--]

Or the ‘for her’ pens. But yeah. Three wolves was the best.

[@doranconall9995]

I would love an app where if we had a general or vague question like, is this a good idea, or where should i eat, or should i go to bed? we could just ask the app and we'd get Simon just giving us his best snarky and witty answer

[@MatthewStinar]

Like a sarcastic, British magic eight ball?

[@Aamon40]

I can totally get behind this app idea! 🤩

[@heavymetalsteve]

Read the Amazon reviews for Haribo sugar free bears

[@hannahbrennan2131]

YES! Those are so hilarious!

[@jarodspade1]

I came to the comments to reccomend this. Glad I read them first.

[@christopherneelyakagoattmo6078]

"I now know what King Tutakhamen's re-hydrated testicle tastes like. Thanks Haribo."

[@KiwiTigress]

I fourth this motion! 😂

[@Superratis]

Yes please!

[@philkeene1895]

Simon is the first person to activate Siri on my phone. Ever. I had thought it was turned off. Then I remembered I bought a new phone a year ago. Siri has been turned off again.

[@801russc]

Damit Simon, I smashed the like button and broke my phone screen.

[@brainblaze6526]

NO REFUNDS.

[@brainblaze6526]

OKAY FINE. I have issued this refund to your bank account.

[@jonatanrullman]

What we clearly need is a 15 second legal disclaimer following every utterance of "smash". Preferably in a zoomed in, serious face straight to camera and with that classic fast paced rythm of we-don't-really-want-to-say-this-and-every-second-on-air-costs-a-mint.

[@ewestner]

Simon making a video just reading Amazon reviews: Yes please! Simon quitting KZbin to make iPhone apps: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

[@dakarai47]

The 3 wolf tee part actually had me dying laughing😂😂

[@rachelhansen2417]

PLEASE do the great Amazon reviews 😂 and include the banana holder and 5 lb bag of sugar free gummy bears on that list.

[@fsfaith]

I had the beer app. But this was when iOS didn't have the appstore and we had to jailbreak the phone to put apps on. It was free. P.S. Alexa tells you if it's dark outside.

[@eliscanfield3913]

There's a pen (from bic?) that's listed as "for women" and the amazon reviews are bloody hysterical!

[@corychristie9186]

You guys should do a video about the failure of Hooters airline

[@shaunlenton8865]

Cory Christie 'Hooters' airline?.

[@corychristie9186]

@@shaunlenton8865 yeah it started in 2003 and lasted 3 years before being shutdown and taking a 40 million dollar loss Thought it'd be a funny topic for Simon to cover

[@shaunlenton8865]

Cory Christie of course I've heard of 'Hooters' but I had no idea that they tried to run an airline, but I would have to agree that it would be a good topic for Simon to cover.

[@HardestManInTarot]

Cory Christie I need this video

[@gloriagi9499]

Check out the video Smokers Express on their other channel Today I found out

[@timothyneiswander3151]

I could probably sit through 15 minutes of Simon lampooning Amazon reviews. When I use to shop exclusively with Amazon for anything online, I use to find some doozies. Sometimes even the Q&A section can give you the chuckles. Pretty sure the really bizarre ones are fake reviews posted for entertainment because even I was prone to posting reviews with a troll account for...well, my entertainment.

[@mrwarr]

The “is it dark outside” app is 100% necessary for anyone who works in a recording studio lol. In my experience, you can go days without catching a glimpse of a window.

[@stormzilla993]

For your curiosity, the Nothing app does exist on iOS.

[@michelvondenhoff6307]

I could do with an app that tells wether my phone is on.

[@brainblaze6526]

Sell it for at least 999

[@judithslone6472]

🤣🤣🤣

[@soullesshonky1707]

That was a fun one. Loving this channel. And dont you DARE start reading them ahead. Your reactions are priceless,and the tangents are always funny. Keep it up

[@thegingergyrl455]

The lack of spell check and grammar correction in “professional” articles and legal agreements is staggering. I’ve unsubscribed or backed out of services because of it. If you can’t proofread, then I will go elsewhere.

[@MatthewStinar]

Interesting. Reminds me of the HumancentiPad episode of South Park because I would have no idea if there was a typo in my Comcast terms of service.

[@esecallum]

“Just so," said Bariano with equanimity. "But let me cite you a parable, or, if you prefer, a paradox. Assume that you are lying in bed asleep. Your dreaming brings you into the company of an alluring woman who starts to make exciting suggestions. At this moment a large dirty pet animal clambers upon the bed and sprawls its hairy bulk beside you with its tail draped over your forehead. You move restlessly in your sleep and in so doing press your face against one of its organs. In your dream it seems that the beautiful woman is kissing you with warm moist lips, causing a delightful sensation. You are thrilled and exalted! Then you wake up and discover the truth of the contact, and you are displeased. Now then: consider carefully! Should you enjoy the rapture of the dream? Or, after beating the animal, should you huddle cheerlessly in the dark brooding upon the event? Arguments can be developed in either direction.”

[@esecallum]

You are a very superficial fellow.noonevhas time for stupid punchtatinon. And Grammer nowadays.as long as you get the message that is all that counts.you must be really old and fossiled

[@Aamon40]

Can confirm. Grammar makes, or breaks, a contractual deal for me.

[@toshirodragon]

Best part of a Business Blaze video is Simon losing it and laughing so hard he can't go on. Please don't change the format!

[@authoralysmarchand4737]

This has quickly become my favorite channel. I remember all of these, though downloaded none because I'm not dumb enough.

[@jasonpotter3126]

Love this channel, your candidness really sells it. Keep it up and never lose this schtick.

[@brainblaze6526]

Thanks :)

[@annalieff-saxby568]

Candour, dammit! NOT "candidness". There's no such word! Its CANDOUR (or, I assume, Candor in the US)

[@brainblaze6526]

No one cares.

[@sventer198]

So glad you’ve decided to stick with making videos, Simon. Would love an Amazon review one. Some of those are bloody hilarious!

[@BresciGaetano]

well "i'm rich" seem a lot like Manzoni "Artist's shit" cans. He was litterally selling his fecal mater and was officially accepted and prised as art.

[@RobKandell]

“Whaddya gonna do? I’m Picasso!”

[@TheSailorTenjou]

Selling shit is a little bit worse than the guy selling just his "idea of an artwork" as an actual artwork for a good chunk of money...

[@streakyanchovy]

Ah yes-The original gamer girl bath water.

[@christopherneelyakagoattmo6078]

A "Most Outrageous Amazon Reviews" Video would be exceptional. Your style and the backstory/impression that you bring with each item is fresh. I am certain that this would be a fun fit, Especially with a little introductory warm up to the utility, and abuse of the reviewing process; and what it has morphed into.

[@waltwright84]

I suspect any downvotes for this video will be from people who bought one (or more) of these apps.

[@SwoleCole89]

This is my favorite episode of this channel so far. And please, don't read the script beforehand. You've made that comment a couple times but honestly your initial reactions and improv are so on point. Makes it an element of fun in a short documentary

[@LoaferFatAss]

been watching your other chanels off and on for a while but found this one this week and just love how it's as you said half script half reaction. I always end up with a sime and some laughing at these. Plus you find the most interesting things to talk about. Keep up the great work on everything! BB has become one of my fav new chanels to watch, just to see you going off script and having fun.

[@brainblaze6526]

Glad you are enjoying the format :)

[@LoaferFatAss]

@@brainblaze6526 Format and the stories you find are all brilliant. Keep up the great work and don't work to hard! Amazes me you have so manny chanels of awesome~

[@claudiobizama5603]

Speaking of shirts, there's a market of oddly specific shirts, they show as ads and have specific info of yourself, like: "Never underestimate a forklift operator who likes scuba diving, was born on January and lives in California but is an Australian at heart". I speculate that it's an algorithm that gets your info (from Google or Facebook) and makes a shirt with your birth date, interests, where you live, what do you work on, etc.

[@DEMOL1SHA]

Both super cool and super scary at the same time....

[@zacksirola1552]

This is exactly why we have password confirmations for app purchases, after all. XDD

[@j.p.6932]

I actually had a friend in HS who had a couple wolf t-shirts because his last name was Wolfe. Although, on a similar note, there was some horrible movie on IMDb that had all these ratings by non-English speakers who claimed the movie cured cancer, gave new meaning to their lives, or changed their minds about suicide - just absolute non-sensical reviews.

[@FourPartFox]

The giant beach ball also has some amazing reviews!

[@Kadeo-ms6qw]

Sorry Simon I don’t believe that you will buy the t-shirt I still have yet to see a zebra mask

[@Nikademus1969]

I'm really liking the more laid back approach you guys are taking with things on this channel

[@kattstanley4337]

If you do an Amazon review vid - look up Uranium Ore and thank me later. You could honestly do an entire video just over the Amazon reviews and answered questions of people buying actual Uranium ore. Little piece of advice first - bring popcorn. You're going to need it.

[@Victoria-dh9vb]

I would 100% watch a video comprising of a cultivated list of best Amazon reviews.

[@saltamas]

I watch every KZbin video with Simon Whistler that I can. Simon is not only entertaining, and educational, but I suspect he is possibly imbued with super powers. I could not resist looking at the comments for the "three wolf T (with moon). Simon, I'm not sure you're aware of just how many hours of humorous good times the comments at Amazon 's 3 wolf T. Worth every second. Thanks!

[@roboticzamat]

I find it hilarious that Simon is the least "businesslike" on this channel, but the most relaxed. Also, Heinrich...... sounds like....um....not his name.....lol

[@andyn46]

There has to be at least 3 Simons with as much content as this dude produces

[@brainblaze6526]

Lol, only 3?

[@SaraMakesArt]

The "I Am Rich" app strikes me as something Paris Hilton might download.

[@sleepysartorialist]

She’s actually really savvy with money. Maybe Nicole Richie?

[@justicespeaks3270]

Kim Kardashian is way richer.

[@mathewbrown5047]

Sadly most people that buy stuff like that are not rich but high middle class trying to act rich

[@Lyysabeth]

Rich people are too smart with their money to buy this shit. Otherwise they wouldn't stay rich for long.

[@ApsaraMenaka]

Trump sure would. like 6 times...

[@tasiatyler3137]

The best part was seeing you laugh like that I was right there with you! YES please do Amazon reviews!!

[@XDSDDLord]

Simon, I legitimately laughed out loud at that review. BTW, in the futur your Amazon review videod will be bomb (pretend I am writing to past Simon from 11/9/19).

[@Mike504]

Off scrip Simon is the best Simon.

[@cindyscrazy]

I like how Simon looks around himself while talking about these things like he's looking at other people around him. He's alone in a room laughing hysterically. I'm starting to wonder about his sanity. (Just kidding....kinda)

[@billiemink77]

Although I am subscribed to all of your programs and truly enjoyed them I must say Simon without a doubt I ABSOLUTELY ADORE U ON THIS SHOW BEST

[@brainblaze6526]

Amazing. Thank you :). I know its super different to my other stuff, so it genuinely means a lot to me that people are enjoying this channel where I get to be myself more :) :)

[@lordmacram]

Great work Simon, one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in a while 😅

[@brainblaze6526]

:)

[@fatalgravity]

TBH when I first started seeing Business Blaze in my feed I was thinking "I like Simon but I don't really care about business stuff, so it's probably boring." but it's quickly becoming my favorite of your channels. I love the more freeform style and your reactions and jokes. PS did you ever make the Nintendo video you proposed in the aol video?

[@brainblaze6526]

Amazing, thank you. We did a video about "companies that started life as something different" which has Nintendo again :)

[@NachumRobbins]

This one is great Simon. Thanks.

[@sebokimre8497]

App: costs 999 Apple: okay, my turn

[@lauraheyman2011]

Amazon reviews would be great! Maybe you can do "best of" and "worst of"... I love your style on Business Blaze! You're hilarious and so much fun to watch!

[@brainblaze6526]

:)

[@lizborino3102]

Yes to the Amazon reviews!

[@CandiPinki]

Never read it before you film!!!! I love watching you react with us!

[@aunulimansfield3277]

If a guy throws a phone at me, I'll just take the phone

[@InquisMalleus]

Amazon reviews the uranium cake - used for checking radiation detectors - include things like "not very fluffy, poor flavor, would not buy again", "I've had it in my pocket for 2 weeks and I still haven't become a mutant yet", or "I put this in my spider's cage for a few weeks before getting it to bite me, and I still have no superpowers" would be great to hear Simon read. But we Also need reviews from other ones. And I'm still waiting for you in that zebra mask Simon!

[@FH-rp6zs]

The "Is It Dark Outside?' app makes me think of the beginning of the mockumentary What We Do in the Shadows, when Viago the vampire tells the camera that peeking through the curtains after he emerges from his coffin is the scariest part of each evening for him. Now there's a market for that app!

[@monetflores8481]

You could do a video on really stupid things for sale on amazon that somehow have a great review ratio. I’m amazed by how some of these make people money.

[@reuvensg]

Great channel Simon! :)

[@jdrissel]

The Amazon reviews idea is great. There's one I saw but it keeps getting taken for fully weaponized gummy bears. It covers the effects of eating a few too many sugar-free gummy bears. These bears are sweetened with a sugar alcohol that is also used as a pharmaceutical - as a laxative!

[@ChronicKoff]

14:23 I like the amazon reviews idea but maybe for one of your other channels, i'd suggest your top tens channel.

[@lizaborschell6905]

Please never read them first... improv Simon is my favorite Simon 😆🥰

[@The_Chad_]

I SMASHED the like button so hard it broke my phone. I would have had more fun using the Send Me To Heaven app to break my phone

[@chrismays2553]

Lol, I bought that 3 wolf Tee at a rummage store years ago and then learned years later in college that the shirt had a following, that's insane how crazy some people go over this thing!

[@TheMightsparrow]

It was worth it to watch Simon being so JOLLY.

[@samanthadodd8112]

Love this format. Love ur opinion. Please do one of these on dumbass Amazon reviews.

[@blondangel79]

I would LOVE an Amazon review video.

[@kd0407]

Until recently I worked for many years in the Cellular/Telecom industry representing one of the largest, most successful players in the game. Because of this, I already knew about the I Am Rich app and a few others discussed in this video. I vehemently agree with Simon in that these apps (and other similar screen based kitch) have often made me feel that my attempts to work diligently in ways that are genuinely useful to humanity are quite a waste of my time...that is if I'm only valuing my time on the money it might provide. While I fully believe in the undeniable value of money, there are certain things any driven academic or humanitarian just cannot do in clear conscience. Don't feel bad about choosing to not program frivolous functions no matter how lucrative they indeed can be. After all, I would have kept my original course to be a public educator if such hard truths had not become so evident to me at the outset of my youthful "professional" studies.

[@CherieH223]

This video has inspired me. I must now create an app that sends the words "you up?" to multiple contacts at once without the recipients knowing you've also sent that msg to every other girl/guy in your contact list. Ooohhh... it could even let you know which ones are most likely to respond based on replies from previous times. I'm a genius! Lmao.

[@katielancaster6376]

I adore that Simon does not read them before filming. It adds to the fun of this channel. Simon u have a near cult following. U could sell a cheap app named I am Simon. With only ur face on it and sell millions.

[@Arcanua]

You need to follow up on your idea with the most hillariously reviewed Amazon poducts! D: Must talk of the horror that is gummy bears. x3

[@AttemptToTemptMe]

Dear Simon, another great video - thank you! If you want some funny reviews on Amazon check out Nad’s hair removal cream. I like it when you laugh and need to see more :)

[@banpeinet]

A few years ago I watched the documentary "Czech dream" where the two filmmakers hyped a new fake none existent hypermarket and filmed the reaction of the people. Wouldn't that be an awesome subject for a future video? Also cover what happened after the documentary and what they do now. What impact did it have on the community in the end

[@Arcanua]

That shirt's reviews are just like the ones for sugar free gummy bears, and how you can hear WW1 in the bathroom. xD

[@todddougherty9492]

Simon, you could read ikea assembly instructions and it would be hysterical. Yes to the amazon reviews.

[@Caterfree10]

I would love a top ten Amazon reviews, that’d be fucking hilarious. Especially if any are half as good as the one three wolf shirt review.

[@kellyrickard9171]

Simon please don't ever change and Danny keep up the great writing.

[@Rekuzan]

Engagement by smart phone app; made BY Introverts, FOR Introverts!

[@emilypheil1460]

Yes! Do one on Amazon reviews! That would be fantastic! 😂

[@brainblaze6526]

Got something in the works :)

[@cricketcalin]

Do amazon reviews for sugar free gummy bears. We would all get a good laugh from that.

[@frankhaugen]

Oh! This should have been sponsored by Skillshare! "If you want to make a stupid app, Skillshare has the courses for you"

[@johnsummers9660]

I'd like to smash something other than the like button... Also I wish I could like this video 10,000 times so we could see the majesty of Simon in the three wolf t-shirt and if we're really lucky, the zebra mask.

[@brainblaze6526]

Zebra coming soon!!

[@johnsummers9660]

@@brainblaze6526 You just made my day. I always need a good laugh and you never fail to provide on this channel.

[@QueenOfSh3ba]

Video topic suggestion - The insidious practices in the music business?

[@eaglefeather1359]

I need to hear these Amazon reviews. Please :)

[@GolfPrincessCL]

11 pounds (or 14 us dollars)? 💰🤑 look at you being all fancy! 😂🤣 love this channel! ✌😎

[@librasgirl08]

How about a video about the many channels of S.Whistler. The huge question, when does he sleep? Does he do other things beside testing war games; learning how to do things with programs; listen to news or reviews of no-fiction books; buy new outfits , glasses, watches online and mix drinks???

[@DEMOL1SHA]

yes! I need to know what is his favorite music? Movie? TV show? I could go on and on....

[@RichardBaran]

Definitely do Amazon reviews!

[@brainblaze6526]

Working on something interesting atm! :D

[@AnnCatsanndra]

My mother is currently in a shared room in a nursing home and can't see the window from here bedroom. It's useful to be able to ask her Alexa Echo Show "Is it dark outside" and "is it night time" and we've had her get confused and call us at 2 in the morning before. Or at least, it WOULD be useful if it recognized her voice more often. Usually it just can't hear her.

[@esecallum]

“Just so," said Bariano with equanimity. "But let me cite you a parable, or, if you prefer, a paradox. Assume that you are lying in bed asleep. Your dreaming brings you into the company of an alluring woman who starts to make exciting suggestions. At this moment a large dirty pet animal clambers upon the bed and sprawls its hairy bulk beside you with its tail draped over your forehead. You move restlessly in your sleep and in so doing press your face against one of its organs. In your dream it seems that the beautiful woman is kissing you with warm moist lips, causing a delightful sensation. You are thrilled and exalted! Then you wake up and discover the truth of the contact, and you are displeased. Now then: consider carefully! Should you enjoy the rapture of the dream? Or, after beating the animal, should you huddle cheerlessly in the dark brooding upon the event? Arguments can be developed in either direction.”

[@saticus]

This is my favorite channel!!!

[@ignitionfrn2223]

1:10 - Chapter 1 - I am rich 5:20 - Chapter 2 - Ibeer 8:35 - Chapter 3 - Will you marry me ? 13:05 - Chapter 4 - Screen cleaner 13:35 - Chapter 5 - Yo

[@shaunp8044]

Simon do one on the amazon reviews for the most expensive items, especially the TV's those are the most hilarious.

[@wisteela]

Why did Apple even approve the first one? Yes, totally do an Amazon reviews one.

[@DEMOL1SHA]

Confession: I totally paused the video and immediately downloaded the *free* ibeer app. aaaannnndddd put the 3 wolf tee in my amazon cart. I love random stupid shit

[@KneeDeepInTheDead81]

Whistley boi! Loved the podcast about Fantastic Four and Snowflame!

[@brainblaze6526]

Thanks :)