I Called My Boyfriend A LYING POS After He Didn't Get The Perfume I Wanted r/Relationships

[@TheRisky9]

Story 1: Girl, your boyfriend has a massive ego problem. Calling you a "spoiled brat" when you saved up for the money? You insisted he didn't have to buy it for you? If you're a gold digger, you're not a very good one.

[@autumn557]

It’s not about the gift or how much it costs. It’s about the 3 step sabotage. Step 1. Make her spend the money on something else with the promise he’ll get it. Then once she does it’s like he ruined months of saving. Step 2. Don’t get the item and then slap her in the face with a $20 object, literally 4% the value. KNOWING the price because he had time to look it up. Step 3. Bad mouth her to look like an Asshole to everyone. You don’t do this to people you care about. Also, leave your family out of arguments like damn.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

The part where he had her spend on the money on something else truly blew my mind. I can almost see the logic of being embarrassed you can’t afford to buy it so you don’t tell your partner. Same with the part where he made a substitution. I’m not making excuses for it, but I can see how an immature/insecure person makes that plan. What made it feel insidious was the part where he had her spend the money elsewhere, that made it seem less like immaturity and more this guy is just an AH.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Yup, nothing says “not ready for a mature relationship” like sending a parent to do the dirty work in clearing up a situation that you screwed up in the first place. If that had been me, both my parents would have looked at me and said, “and what, exactly do you want us to do about it?” I used to hate getting that response when I was younger, but since then, I’ve appreciated them making me learn how to take responsibility for my own crap.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Op got a preview of what will happen when they get into a disagreement. If OP takes him back she deserves whatever she gets.

[@sgm8265]

Re step 2: And it was a strawberry pound cake scented body spray. Oof. Lol.

[@katie6731]

​@@sgm8265Yeah, that part got me, too. While there is a place for strawberry-shortcake-scented body spray, it's not amidst a serious perfume-collector's treasures. The exception would be if the specific scent had an emotional connection, and her partner chose the gift to show respect for that connection. The perfume OP had saved up for was over $400. If the ex had a maximum budget of $40 to spend on OP, then I don't understand what his plan was when he offered to buy the perfume for OP. It's not like he was even close, and just needed another couple of weeks of saving to buy OP the correct perfume. I'd even understand if he bought what he thought was the next best thing, rather than giving her an IOU for a future purchase. Instead, ex was orders of magnitude away from what he'd repeatedly offered to purchase for OP. That just doesn't make sense to me.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: “ you are a spoiled brat that is expecting too much of me” Dude, you told her you got the perfume. Funny thing is when you told someone you got them the item that they want they are going to expect you to give it to them.

[@usagi18]

The title makes you go instant YTA... but no, absolutely NTA, she saved for a year for that perfume, he told her he would buy it for her and spend her savings in something else, SHE INSISTED on whether if he would be able to buy it or not, and he confirmed it to her. Girl, run.

[@sfsin3380]

Unfortunately that's how insult gift givers get away with it. Peoples knee jerk reaction to someone being upset about a gift is to call them an AH . People like BF leverage that to hurt someone while making themselves out to be the victim. (I've saw a post a while back where people telling off an OP for being upset about getting literal feces covered cloths)

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story one: Dude...all you had to do was come clean about not being able to afford the perfume from the start, apologize, and rebuild that trust on her. *Not b!tch at your girlfriend because you got caught lying! Also, lying to your circle of closed ones won't help you either!* 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Yeah, bf was an idiot. Sounds like he's not mature enough for a relationship rn.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

Why would he even lie? What does he gain from tricking her like that?

[@lynnw7155]

Really; they guy really screwed up, then got his friends and family to attack her??? Why did he lie and say he'd already bought it??? He TOLD her to use that money for something else. WHY??? That's the part that would piss me off, not him getting the gift or not. Update: she can't decide if she wants to stay in the relationship and needs time to think, so she...SLEEPS WITH HIM??? What are young girls thinking???

[@miminana-hd6nf]

@@lynnw7155 he lied to her, to his friends (and everyone knows he deleted the texts), and his mother. I would have never given him a second chance.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

​@@lynnw7155She broke up with him eventually, thank God.

[@whims6278]

"Its annoying OP has to explain her budget to everyone when its really a THEM problem" 🤣 i approve of sassy, confident mark

[@ineedhoez]

Story 2: OP is mad at the wrong person. The parents failed OP.

[@jasonrustmann7535]

For real. The guy was probably mean mugging them because he knows what they're really like, and as any good husband, is protective of his wife.

[@dimsufferer9951]

She was also an abused child who never healed

[@DisneyChar]

​@@dimsufferer9951yep, and she went from becoming the abuser in part 1 to breaking the abuse cycle by the end.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

Story 1: Poor OP. She shouldn't have spent her money _before_ she had her perfume in hand. Glad she dumped that liar. Story 2: I'm not surprised OP's older sister is childfree. It's pretty common among those who have been parentified, like they're thinking "I've done my time raising kids, I'm not about to raise more kids." OP being in a caregiving role (and being somewhat parentified) may also end up childfree too.

[@reljapopovic]

S1. she trusted her BF, after several confirmations, why shouldn't she? Major trust break there. If he could easily lie about so trivial, what she could expect down the road?

[@ZombieSazza]

Yup, as a child abuse survivor (psychological, neglect, violence, parentification just to name a few) I am extremely child free, I actually struggle battling my cPTSD every single day and there’s just NO WAY I ever want kids. Growing up my mother had sole custody and hid any contact to/from my dad, so as an adult I’m rebuilding my relationship with him. We met recently as he was in my area and we had lunch at a cafe, and he was beyond understanding that I just don’t want (and thankfully can’t have cus infertility and can’t carry to term) children. It’s just not for me and he immediately respected this , he asked if I inherited my mothers infertility/PCOS issues and I explained that I deffo had inherited those, so his main concern? Making sure I’m medically getting taken care of, making sure I’m not struggling, and making sure to tell his friends and family that I don’t want children due to trauma and to never ask me “when are you having kids.” Just understanding and respect, a mature man who understands his daughters wishes and supports me no matter what. So yeah, extremely common for us who’ve been through (at the very least) parentification just straight up don’t want anything to do with children.

[@TheArnaa]

Story 1: the cheaper gift isn’t the problem. The problem is he lied to her.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

And to everyone else when he should have said nothing.

[@teacheschem]

Lied multiple times!

[@devegas4910]

Exactly

[@ZombieMinion1992]

Yeah I think he called his friends and lied to them after the texts.

[@bamboozled1449]

@@ZombieMinion1992yea them saying she’s using him for money….? HE HAS NO MONEY TF

[@ondank]

Story 2 : imagine being 25 and not realizing that your parents were insane for causing an issue over Brooke not eating at home 2 nights a week and that if Brook being away 2 nights a week stopped you having clean clothes ... Brooke was cleaning them. She wasnt OPs best friend. She was OPs unpaid carer. And she then got parentified herself and still failed to critically evaluate it at any point after.

[@veezopolis]

Why the hell did the op have to defend her budget? You know anyone critical of her spends money every month on things they don't need. Hell when i was in college i still bought a video game every once in awhile

[@Russman67]

OP has a legit reason to go off on her now ex-boyfriend. He lied to her and then sicked his friends and his mother on her. Honestly the second your mama has to be brought in something in a relationship, the relationship's probably over anyway. 🤦‍♂️

[@nicksuazo4377]

Especially if they're a mama's boy. In which case, I pray that any OP should just call it quits before there's a kid involved. Luckily for Story 1, that's not the case.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Why does everyone think Op ended it? She let him stay the night at her dorm, and she said people want her to end it but she needs time. Op also said "he seemed genuinely sorry"

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@nicksuazo4377 Read the 2nd Update, she hasn't left yet.

[@nicksuazo4377]

@@johnbradbury8610 She did end up breaking up with him. By the end of story 1. At 10:20

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@nicksuazo4377 My apologies, When I saw the part about needing time, I thought he we go.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The title reminded me of that guy who wanted buy his GF a perfume and he bought bootleg perfume on Ebay. Then I thought this might be from her perspective, but I don't think it is. But, NTA. He intentionally lied to you and mislead you. I'm sorry babe I can't buy that perfume. Simple as. This isn't about the cost of the gift, it's about the blatant lies.

[@invisigoth510]

I was thinking the same thing I was like-- wait didn’t we have this from the BF’s POV?

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I thought the same when I heard it lol

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

My thoughts exactly! The boyfriend was wrong for doing this to her and doubly wrong for trying to paint her as the villain.

[@clairebear-96]

Haha I thought it was the same story but from her POV too!

[@Loubear23]

How many times does 1st OP have to explain herself about her gratitude and spending habits…. Sidestepping the whole point of being lied to.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I still think he lied to his friends. He definitely lied to his mom and admitted it. It's telling he knew his mom would side with OP and lied to her. OP needs to dump him. But, she's very young. Ok she did dump him 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I'm old, so if my BF's mom called me she'd be 60 plus. I respect my elders, but catch me on the wrong day you will get cussed out.

[@michaelslaton2837]

Probably why she broke up with him. Got caught lying again from the messages with his friends.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@michaelslaton2837 She didn't break up, she said she "needed time to think", She also said she knew he was really sorry. If this were vegas I would bet she takes him back.

[@michaelslaton2837]

@@johnbradbury8610 yes she does in the final edit @10:19 it's a very short update about it before story 2

[@ejtappan1802]

Story 1 -- I had a boyfriend who found out I was making a day trip on my bday. He insisted I let him get me a hotel room so I wouldn't be driving home late. I went from being happy about my simple jaunt, to being really excited about pampering myself. For two weeks, right up until the day before, he assured me he had it under control. Day of, he ghosted me. Then he "couldn't understand" why I was mad because I had only planned a day trip originally so what's the big deal? --- Yeah, relationship over!!!

[@dreamart3395]

Story 1 … boyfriend is an immature, inconsiderate, brat. OP is going to school, working a job saving and investing her money while man-child lives at home with his mommy. His inability to handle a simple birthday gift for his straightforward girlfriend demonstrates that he is a clueless. And his decision-making capabilities are that of a 12 year old.

[@cptfwiffo]

Hey, the day you give 500 dollar birthday gifts I'll come by on my birthday...

[@dreamart3395]

I had a piece of jewelry made for my sister ... it cost me $1,000. @@cptfwiffo

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@cptfwiffo The price isn't the issue. The guy lied about what he was giving her and doubled down when she asked him about it multiple times. He could've just gotten her what he did without making the promise and everything would be okay. And then he lied about why she was upset and had people harassing her over it. That's why he's the AH.

[@user-jm6cl6fj1l]

@@cptfwiffothe $500 he WILLINGLY OFFERED to pay for. OP never asked him to do that, she made it clear she was buying it herself

[@Peagaporto]

Its amazing how this dumbass managed to fumble every single step in this chain if events. The cintrast between their level of maturity is ghastly.

[@dianabialaskahansen2972]

Story 2 just makes me sad. OP seems to have been too brainwashed to truly see the parents for how abusive they were. She seems to focus on that they were hardworking, but does not really acknowledge that in choosing to work so much, they ended up abusing their eldest children. Might not have been their intention, yet they still did it. Also wonder why parents need a caretaker. Their children are rather young, so I would assume they are in their 50s or maybe early 60s, still 10 years away from retiring.

[@Rosy345c]

Second Story: There was a LOT cut out from the video, the OP was denying very hardly how abusive the parents were towards her and her sisters. Even in the final update there was one of the comments of the op saying that "They were sometimes neglectful but not abusive". OP STILL cannot see how awful people her parents are. But, I'm happy OP at least is making the first steps of getting more independent (even if she can't accept the full truth).

[@messinalyle4030]

That doesn't surprise me. I was puzzled from the start. Normal families don't fall to pieces just because the teenage daughter starts spending more time with her boyfriend and less with her family.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

@@messinalyle4030 Yeah, I'm looking at that story now and that really puzzles me. Everything's about how the parents feel. This is a teen who is becoming an adult. She's going to become more independent; that's the way it is.

[@Rosy345c]

@@messinalyle4030 The parents are religiously controlling. ALSO very suspicious that both parents became "disabled" at a relatively young age and at the same time. Not saying that they couldn't but it is VERY suspicious to be a manipulatively move on them.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@messinalyle4030 That's what I thought, I believe Op when she says the tension at home caused her to fail in school, but Op is clueless if she thinks her sister staying for dinner would have changed that. OP needs long-term counseling, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

[@djdomain]

The problem with child abuse is that their frame of reference for abuse comes from their parents, who'll always insist that what they do isn't abuse (if you look hard enough though you might find one loon who'll admit it with pride). Sometimes you look back on your childhood to realize that you were an indentured servant/punching bag, and feel a sullen hate for the fact you'll never get justice because it's long after the point where you could have brought evidence of mistreatment to the authorities (IF they'd even bother investigating), and even though you're now big and they're heading towards being elderly and frail, inflicting physical payback wouldn't bring enough satisfaction compared to the jail time you'd face, arguing about what happened back then would be futile because of their rose-colored glasses about the past and their actions, or they're dead.

[@kyriacarica5862]

“i stopped going to school in clean clothes because no one was checking” YOUR PARENTS should be checking. NOT Brooke. I bet OP’s parents went on the waaahmbulance all the time going on and on about how Brooke “abandoned” them for Mark, hence she’s been conditioned to think this way. OP talks about her like she owns her sister. It’s weird and creepy.

[@beatapogorzelska1241]

If they worked so much why didn't they earn enough to hire some help?They worked for peanuts or they spend some time relaxing somewhere out.

[@pegacis]

@@beatapogorzelska1241that’s kind of an out of touch statement

[@marshawargo7238]

I'm glad I watched this one because from the title I thought Way Different reasons for OP's feelings. Then, I thought she resented Mark taking Beth away & leaving OP to carry her load! It never occurred to me that OP was not aware of the Whole situation as it was! Wow what a journey for those girls!

[@dimsufferer9951]

Then when Beth was out of the picture, OP was the one who had to step in and start taking care of her younger sister. Because the “parents” don't care about their children, only controlling them

[@valgardener7656]

Brooke didn't want to be parentified, so she left and allowed her ten year old sister to be parentified instead. Since then OP has had no time for herself to grow as a person or come to terms with her feelings. She is trapped emotionally at age ten. Putting all the blame on Mark allowed her to avoid the reality that Brooke abandoned her. She still seems to be avoiding that reality. She loved Brooke, and unless I'm missing context, it simply doesn't seem like Brooke cared at all. The comments encouraged OP to blame her parents instead of Mark, which makes sense. But OP still isn't dealing with the fact that Brooke chose to abandon her. She has to face that at some point, or she'll stay emotionally frozen.

[@poohbear4515]

I heard that last story this morning. OP sounds so whipped that they don’t see how incredibly awful their parents are. Making the older kids raise their younger siblings is awful parenting. Babysitting is one thing, but basically make them a sibling/parent is not right and could damage both older, and younger kids mentally.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

That's why I always say, if you can't handle children then DON'T HAVE CHILDREN! OP's parents suck and they really shouldn't have had children if they didn't want to be parents.

[@Rosy345c]

The parent even neglected food to them.

[@sammieg8641]

I have to say I don’t believe in parentifying kids but we should go back to the times of the homesteaders where EVERYONE had to pull their weight… I think people would be quite surprised… in other cultures this is normal.. parents work all day and kids go to school, come home and work, help with siblings and repeat day in and day out… we have become very entitled to “our” time

[@akl2k7]

Plus, um, how old are these parents exactly. The older sister is only about thirty IIRC, so they can't be THAT old that they need round the clock care and can't work, unless they had everyone later in life or they worked themselves to death.

[@idontknowmyfruits2194]

Parentification has so many documented long term problems it causes for people who experience it. There’s no excuse for letting a child take over my responsibilities as an adult and especially not as a parent. It’d be ridiculous, cruel and lazy of me to put that on a kid. Idk how people can do that and still feel like they deserve to be called a parent.

[@katiecakesl4691]

Story 1) so OP's boyfriend lied multiple times to OP, lied to his friends, lied to his mom, and now he is love bombing. Honestly OP should break up with him, because after 2 years he should really know better than to jeopardize every relationship OP shares with the mutual people in their lives, just because he was to prideful to admit he couldn't deliver what he promised. Red flag.

[@sfsin3380]

That was likely the point. My Grandaunt's second husband was a gold-digger who convinced his friends and family grandaunt was the gold-digger (they got a nasty shock when they sued the estate and found out everything was her premarital assets) and this sounds like something from his playbook.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

So I dated this guy for a while and Christmas came through while we were dating. He specifically asked me what I wanted for Christmas. There was a really good smelling perfume that I really really wanted and at the time I was in a shelter of sorts where they wouldn't allow me to work so I had absolutely no money or I would have purchased it for myself. I would have anyway after I was able to work as I've never gotten a gift from Men on any holidays or my birthdays, even long-term boyfriends. Mind you this was like a $12 bottle of perfume at Walmart so nothing like designer or expensive or anything like that. So I tell him where it is I tell him exactly what it's called and what the bottle looks like. Instead of just kidding this one bottle of perfume at the place that I told him it was after he's the one who asked when I was absolutely not expecting anything at all, he goes to a discount perfume store I guess in order to save money. Now that still would have been fine had he told me that's what he was doing and maybe ask me to pick out another perfume I liked if he didn't have the money or it's maybe he found that same one there for cheaper. That would have been completely fine. Instead, he gets a completely different perfume that happens to have a similar name. Think "Queen Bee" and like "Tiger Queen" or something. Now I can't remember the exact name because it was four years ago but they both had the same word in the title but two different names. Not only does he get that one but then he gets a second perfume of just some random perfume. of course I acted grateful and told him thank you and that it was very sweet but deep down I was hurt and I was irritated because I would have rather got the one perfume that I wanted instead of two that I didn't ask for or he could have just gotten me nothing at all and said that he didn't have the money to get me a gift and not offered in the first place or asked me what I wanted. I even ended up trying to like both of them but they just smelled like old lady totally not my style perfume so I just gave both of the bottles away to a girl that was also living there. She was really happy so whatever. For me it's not about the money it's about the not listening and making promises that you aren't going to keep or getting somebody's hopes up when you don't actually plan on following through. That's awful to do to people. It makes people not trust you.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 1: OP needs to protect her perfumes as her STBX could become malicious and destroy her collection. Also, he bait and switched her and gaslit her once she called him out on it. I hope she can adequately express her disappointment to his parents because I'm getting the feeling he didn't tell them the whole truth. IMO, the BF was hoping OP would spend all that saved money on him instead of buying the perfume and that's why he lied and then got resentful when she didn't spend that money on him.

[@britnicox3929]

So interesting how a normal expression of your siblings’ independence becomes a parent abandoning you. I think that’s why she became so bitter - to her this supporting force was being taken from her by an outside person and she was so young when she formed this opinion that it never occurred to her that her actual parents were at fault. I’m glad that they got to a better place and I kind of hoping that OP can also be independent without having to wait for her parents to pass

[@zerobolt9506]

Same, her sister got freed, but she didn't 😔, also there's comments in the update that believes the parents are faking being disabled to keep OP around to take care of them.

[@salt7625]

He lied about something as small as not having the money to pay for a perfume... and then lied (lie of ommision is still a lie) to his friends and family to save face...what else would he have lied about?

[@CharlesGriswold]

Story 1: Boyfriend said OP was expecting too much from him!? All she was asking for was the fucking truth! Holy shit! Wow!

[@invisigoth510]

Story 1: absolutely would have broken up. He lied to his friends & family about her & even if he didn’t send them to attack her they did He ruined any chance she had of having a decent relationship with his extended social circle. He lied to make himself look better to his circle showing he cares only about himself & not her

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 2: OP sounds like she has arrested development. She is still seeing things through the eyes of an immature 8 year old who lost her nanny and had neglectful parents. The reason why her older sister wasn't at family dinner every night was because she was growing up and becoming an independent adult and dating and most likely working once she got old enough to legally do so. The fact OP's parents didn't step up and help OP and her little sister is telling, but OP normalized this kind of neglect thinking older siblings were obligated to take care of the younger ones. So OP then was parentified because again the parents didn't give a shit about how OP or her sister dressed, ate or performed in school. OP is mad at the wrong persons. She thinks her sister was obligated to mother her and her little sister. She sounds like she needs therapy to realize that she and her sisters were abused via neglect by her parents. Good that OP's sister got out and went to college and got into a good career and is doing well. Sad how OP projects all her personal pain on the wrong person.

[@audreym3908]

I've heard this story before and OP did mention that she sees a counselor/social worker or something. I definitely think she needs a therapist that specializes in this.

[@mortisrat]

OP in story 2 really needs to find out if she's been vaccinated. If her parents used to be anti-medicine they may well have neglected to do that. This is something she'd really want to know before having kids, as being around kids is an excellent way to get ill - and if you have more than one, you're then risking 2 of you when being around kids whilst pregnant.

[@felix0-014]

So I have been in a situation similar to story 1. Christmas one year I got my ex a couple very nice thoughtful gifts (custom glasses with his cat and some stuff related to his music). He got me a handful of stuff from 5 below that had minimal thought put into it. It was honestly kind of upsetting but I stayed. However it became a pattern and I realized I was an afterthought or accessory to him. The fact he lied to her so casually is messed up and I'm glad she left

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: imagine OP's boyfriend being promised, more than once, a PS5. Only for OP to "surprise" him with a Commodore 64 and a calculator. I dk the exact fragrances involved, but OP wanted Baccarat Rouge, and boyfriend got her Strawberry Poundcake. Yeah, I bet a fragrance that sounds like it is for a five year old is not the same.

[@that_mikan_kinny8988]

For story one this makes me think of a very important sayingn "If they'll do it once they'll do it again". This isn't even about the liying, it's about how he acted after getting caught by OP and confronted, he basically emotionally lashed out and lied to his own mother knowing what he was doing was wrong but didn't want to face the consequences when he was faced with his wrong doing, and whats to say about when he gets upset about getting in trouble or just getting upset like that again- he'll most likely do the same thing again, and then cry about how he's sorry- and then he's forgiven and the cycle continues, and the more it continues the worse it gets, and thankfully OP caught it and stoped the cycle early.

[@hilaryc3203]

It never ceases to amaze me how friends and relatives think it's their right to start texting OPS. It's none of their business and they need to back off and let the people concerned, sort it out.

[@greenbeacon394]

I’ve been asking this since reading these threads

[@hilaryc3203]

@@greenbeacon394 Yes. I don't know anyone who would interfere, so it always amazes me. Maybe it's just an American thing?

[@greenbeacon394]

@@hilaryc3203 Maybe it is😳

[@cb9825]

Same thoughts! I can't imagine that someone I know says to his friends "gf didn't like my gift" and the friends start cussing her out via texts.🤣

[@beatapogorzelska1241]

This there are a lot of Reddit stories where OPs are harassed by people they hardly know as entitled jerks pass OPs' phone numbers without consent (you can sue because of it in my country). Those randoms offend people and yell at them and OPs put up with it instead of hanging up and blocking such nutjobs.

[@alyzu4755]

Story 1: BF lied to OP, then lied to his mom and (probably) his friends and then sicced them all on her after HE screwed up. Glad she broke up with him.

[@petitmains]

I'm pretty sure I know the perfume house that the Swedish girl in the first story wanted to buy perfume from and they are definitely worth it and I really hope she gets whichever one she wanted.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: NTA He should have told you immediately that it was beyond his budget. He chose to lie to you. Continue your relationship and receive a life's worth of lies, or dump his sorry @ss and move on.

[@mztweety1374]

Story 1. Sounds like boyfriend wrote a check with his mouth that his ass couldn't cash😂😂😂 I would be ticked off too if you convinced me to take my savings and use it for something you couldn't deliver.

[@1tiptip187]

Their is a difference in demanding stuff and expecting expensive gifts and being told "Don't buy it yourself It's already wrapped." Before update and hearing about her talking about her finances I started getting the idea the boyfriend was setting her up. It was the start of gaslighting and seeing how well he could wear her down into leading her to not want expensive stuff and saving so she would spend on him.

[@CyeOutsider]

Why does family get so involved in other people's lives that they're ringing people up and abusing them. Stay out of it. It never pays to jump in the middle other people's arguments.

[@jamie7398]

It's one thing to listen to the person complain about their relationship when they need to , but to call and yell and insult someone is ridiculous. Listen to them complain and stay out of it.

[@johnbradbury8610]

That would be a deal breaker, OP is a huge dumbass if she stays.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 1: "Using him for money" what money??? He can't afford a bottle of perfume lmfao

[@owl7072]

Story 1: The title makes Op sound like an AH but like, _dude._ Pretty certain you KNEW she had been saving because of how expensive it was, you _literally_ told her to not do that because you _already bought it,_ then turned around later and said "actually it was too expensive" after she _already spent half her money that she saved._ She's not a spoiled brat for being upset that YOU lied and made her believe you got her something and _actively told her yourself to not buy it because you already did and then didn't say jack shit after._

[@ecos889]

Also she literally worked her butt of to get that nice thing herself. How the F is that spoilt. It's not her fault that BF played an Evil Version of the Fairy Godmother who said "You shall go to the ball" then get's Cinderealla a literal basketball and sees her cry and she goes "Oh you thought you where going to a fancy party after me bigging you up and are now upset, what an ungrateful woman you are for not enjoying that ball Wait until all your mice friends hear about what a spoilt brat you are!"

[@FlamesofRebirth3836]

I saw red when he called op spoiled. Like she worked for that perfume and her effort was basically sabotaged by her bf.

[@GBunnyG]

I love when the title sends me on a spiral and the story itself spins me rapidly the other way.

[@rebeccay480]

When my sister and I were kids I used to get told all the time that I was the older sister and had to make sure my younger sister stayed out of trouble. I had to KNOW better. As a little kid, who had a smart mouth on her, I argued back that a 1 year age difference was not enough life experience for me to be in charge of her. Think it went on deaf ears sometimes, but that was my response whenever I got in trouble for not stopping her from doing something wrong. As I grew up, I hated being blamed for something I didnt do.

[@amyyaku5022]

S1: Definitely NTA. It's not about the gift, but outright lying to your partner, lying to your friends and family, and not just taking 5 seconds to look up the cost of the gift before promising to get it. Honestly it sounds like something a narcissist would do: make false promises then turn it on you when you confront their lies 🤦🏽‍♂️

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Just finished potato chip chocolate chip cookies very crunchy yum, i used the 70's recipe that dylan used

[@catsncrows]

Dylan is amazing!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@catsncrows ye

[@Swnsasy]

I bought his cook book! I love watching his shorts.. His face tells me EVERYTHING I need to know about what to try and what not😂😂😂

[@paden1865able]

I love that guy! I just finished cleaning up the kitchen after making Kringla cookies and they turned out pretty well. Now all I have to do is find someone to eat them all. Or, maybe I'll freeze them for when my daughter visits, they're one of her favorites.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@paden1865able oh cool

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

I saw the title and couldn’t imagine how OP wasn’t TA, but not even 2 minutes in I got it.

[@ecos889]

She literally worked her butt off to get that nice thing herself. How the F is that spoilt. It's not her fault that BF played an Evil Version of the Fairy Godmother who said "You shall go to the ball" then get's Cinderealla a literal basketball and sees her cry and she goes "Oh you thought you where going to a fancy party after me bigging you up and are now upset, what an ungrateful woman you are for not enjoying that ball Wait until all your mice friends hear about what a spoilt brat you are!"

[@projectjupiter5523]

love this analogy 🤣

[@eowyn8340]

Story 1: Nope, I wouldn’t have stayed either. That was straight manipulation and he’s not mature enough for a relationship.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Yep. He's got some growing up to do.

[@m0n0chr0maticRainb0w]

I could have moved past the lying about buying the perfume but I couldn't ever move past the lying about me to his mom to make me look bad. That is a huge red flag that he can't take responsibility and is willing to throw his partner under the bus over something so silly.

[@deettekearns9092]

Story 1 - I knew that was the perfume OP was saving for. It's a gorgeous scent. There are tons of knock offs that are good but the original is the bomb. Can't blame OP for being disappointed.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

INFO: which are the good knock offs?

[@deettekearns9092]

@@slytherinlibrarian3501 - Brooklyn (from what I remember has one) and I believe as well as KayAli if I am remembering correctly has one. I was in Blue Mercury and the sales gal sprayed herself with it. If you want a recommendation, I would go to the fragrance/perfume subreddit and ask or just go to any fragrance counter or beauty story and ask them. I can't wear fragrance or not much as it gives me a headache so I am envious of anyone who can.

[@kateemma22]

Unless OP2 plans to get out from under the thumb of her parents, which is appears she is uninterested in doing, then she needs to leave Brooke alone. Apologising will just make Brooke feel like she needs to help OP2 out again, which will just lead to her being dragged back into the useless parents' lives, so OP2: YSTA - leave your sister alone unless you're going to grow up and wise up.

[@ashlaraque4135]

Both of my parents are perfume/cologne collectors, and honestly WTF at this story. Getting baccarat rouge 540 is like a right of passage as a perfume/cologne collector, so for this fool to tell her that he’s gonna buy it for her and then show up with Bath and Bodyworks Strawberry shortcake whatever scented bullshit body spray is just fucking wild to me.

[@MrBizteck]

I'll be honest at first I thought OP was a bit weird/stupid wasting her money on Purfume when it seemed she could only save £30 a month. But then I realised she has a very level head and has her priorities spot on. She deserved that Purfume and a better boyfriend. I honestly can only hope my 16 year old daughter becomes as grounded as you OP

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

My full sister (I've got multiple half siblings, that's why I say full) was parentified by my dad. They had to raise me at 8 years old when I was three after our mom died. My dad checked out of being a dad and refused to do basically anything. Half the time, my sister had to even cook me food because of my issues with my stomach. They had to teach me things like how to shower properly, how to deal with periods, and a billion other things. They helped me with homework, cleaning, learning to cook myself, and took care of our animals a majority of the time. My dad still acts like he raised me when in fact he didn't at all.

[@AryonaSamoto]

Story 1: I'm glad the boyfriend apologized and admitted his mistake but I don't like how he emotionally manipulated OP to stay the night when what OP needed was time apart to think. I'm glad she took that time but I don't think she should have let Reddit influence her decision to break up. It would have been healthier for her to decide for herself what she wanted. I hope she's happy with her choice though and finds someone who won't lie and manipulate the situation to make themselves come out smelling like roses. Story 2: I'm glad OP saw the truth and has been mending things with her sister. Hopefully she finds happiness and I hope her sisters wedding is beautiful.

[@dancingonthe3dge]

Story 2: hey op, your sister's childhood and teenage years sound like my own. If you related to anything that your sister went through, in any way shape or form. Which I know you did because the emotional neglect there is so obvious. Please please go to trauma recovery therapy, emdr. It is so so helpful. Trauma is not just war or a car accident. Childhood emotional neglect is developmental trauma

[@Swnsasy]

He is a liar! He told you he was getting it, you told him it's expensive and asked a few times if he's sure and still said he bought it already when he didn't.. That's called a lie which means HE'S A LIAR!! Tell his flying monkeys exactly what happened because he obviously didn't tell them the truth...My freaking goodness Reddit, answer the damn question and stop asking about shit that wasn't in the original question! They get on my nerves with that... Who cares what her budget is? She didn't ask that!! Eta: OMGOSH I HAVE THAT PERFUME!! My husband smelled it and bought it for me about a month ago!! She had great, err, nose! 😂😂 She should have went to Sam's Club, it's $300!! Hehe

[@SakuraMoonflower]

Where did she mention the brand and name of the perfume?

[@Swnsasy]

@@SakuraMoonflower Go to the end of her story. Mark read it.. Mark says someone asked OP what the perfume was and also what the body spray was..

[@nonamenoface3654]

​@@SakuraMoonflower9:55 cost usd $465.00

[@matthewsmith1779]

I hate how Reddit ALWAYS tells people to break up. Even over the smallest things. Even if their married and have been together for years. Always makes me think to myself, "misery definitely loves company". People posting on Reddit for advice should keep that phrase in mind.

[@messinalyle4030]

Feeling resentful of your teenage sister's boyfriend who keeps dragging her away from the family is perfectly reasonable when you're eight. Especially if it leads to an unbearable amount of tension in the family, and your parents start parentifying you in her place because she isn't around as much. Seems like second OP's psychological growth has been arrested at the age of eight in many ways. Probably because the inappropriate level of responsibility that was foisted on her kept her from being able to be a kid and grow at a natural pace. But it sounds like the comments have sparked more self-awareness in her, and set her on a path of growth, and that's great! I hope she continues that journey, and overcomes her denial about the mistakes that her parents made, so that she can process them (and possibly go NC or LC if she deems it necessary).

[@clairebear-96]

Story 1 was so similar to another one I remember, that one was from a boyfriend’s POV, he got a fake version of a perfume his gf wanted, then got mad at her for being upset it was fake lol

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 1: "he said I was expecting too much from him" I'm sorry how is NOT LYING too much? "Are you sure you can afford it? Actually babe, it is really pricey so I got you something else" how hard is that?!

[@myrmidoni87]

My mother always says this thing in Spanish that roughly translates to "If you aren't going to help me, don't srop me from helping myself." OP in first story has a boyfriend that will stop her from helping herself because he's too prideful to tell her when things can get bad. Now it's something small like perfume, but later it could be a life changing decision.

[@Hope_this_is_just_a_dream1994]

Story1: Boyfriend was an A-hole. I detest a liar. Op saved up to buy what she wanted and her boyfriend deliberately lied to her knowing he couldn't have afforded it, but still said he got it. He probably did tell his friends. Can't believe he had to get his mommy involved.

[@veezopolis]

Really sounds like the second OP should hate on his abusive and neglectful parents and not a guy who did nothing to him.

[@danedee6563]

Some people are to sensitive on semantics. Let’s keep it real. Op wasted her money on dinner. If she knew her option was dinner or the perfume she would have bought the perfume. Multiple things can be true at the same time. It can be true that she loves spending time with the people she loves, and that was not a waste, but the dinner itself was a waste, considering she wanted to spend money on something else.

[@beatapogorzelska1241]

Op run through about 50% of her year savings to have the dinner for three? It must have been a high end restaurant.

[@crisrodriguez5693]

@@beatapogorzelska1241 two hundred and something dollars I think, divided by three, sounds plausible.

[@tartlynerdy]

Story 1 - Him: "I don't know how to handle this backlash of not delivering on a promise I made so I'll lash out at op, insult her and share an edited version that makes me a victim to anyone who'll listen to rally support against my mean girlfriend. That'll show her!" Op: "boy, bye" Him: 😧 Good riddance.

[@ShimShamFimFam]

Story 2 Why is everyone forgetting that OP was immediately parentified and gaslit by their parents the moment Brooke stopped behaving exactly the way her parents wanted? Brooke was just a kid but she was too have a little grace

[@hannahdavis5725]

Story 2: OP...my goodness...you NEED perspective.

[@selinesbeau]

It's one thing to get the older children to help out when neccessary or once in a while, especially if you pay them or use it as a trade off for other household chores, it's another matter entirely to make them fill the role of a parent.

[@Musiyca]

Story 2: I'm sorry, but how is it "Mark's" fault that your parents were so fired up they literally forgot to take care of OP and younger sister? That's on the parents! Neglecting your children was their doing, no one elses! Sounds to me like "Mark" just pointed out to Brook how fucked up your parents are and tried to help her out of there and is helping her hold on to adult boundaries so your parents don't start shit again. Wouldn't be surprised if Brook was heavily parentified, which no wonder your parents got mad she was finally getting social life and being out the house instead of taking care of you. OP was 8 when it all started happening, she's 25 now and still clings to the idea that "Mark took my best friend away from me". GROW UP, OP! It's all your parents' doing, considering they didn't care to make laundry and keep you safe, away from the drama. YTA

[@dimsufferer9951]

They didn't “forget” about OP and the younger sister, they never cared about them in the first place. Also, some of you fuckers don't seem to understand what abuse does to people. OP was an abused child, is an abused adult, and she *never started healing*. It's easy to tell someone to grow up when you can't put yourself in their shoes

[@carolbetarello]

I just love when Mark says funny stuff and laughs.

[@LordBison98]

Story 2: OP really has a grudge against wrong people.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Lies are a deal breaker. Liars are some of the worst people in the entire world. Honesty is the most important thing in any relationship. I cannot stand deceit of any type including lying by omission. And I think most people feel the way I do. But I do think there is a significant minority of people who see no problem lying because they don't want to deal with the person they're lying to emotions, or they want to make themselves look better, or to escape consequences. Liars are terrible selfish people. They aren't worth the time and effort. They're incapable of ever truly loving you more than themselves. She did the right thing by dumping him. I hope he's learned his lesson but I don't think so. People like him are like well I told the truth and she dumped me anyway so I won't even tell the truth next time 🙄 it wasn't the truth that got you dumped, it was the fact you lied to begin with

[@DigitalCowboy000]

In the second story this is a perfect example of the dangers of parentification. It not only damages the parent/child relationship. But it also damages the relationship of the siblings.

[@penelopelane5753]

Story 1: I’m a fraghead too and I’m chuffed to have my Reddit and fragrance families collide (big ups to Jackie Aina!😂). Mark did a great job pronouncing BR40 extrait , too! OP has great taste!! BTW, Strawberry Poundcake is from Bath& Bodyworks is a body spray (think about 5-6 levels below a perfume extrait) and costs about about 17 bucks retail (which only fools pay. You can gat that ish WELL under half price most of the time).

[@tamitami9275]

WTH is up with all these other people who call someone when they argue with someone? Yeah, I agued with my partner, and their: Cousin, uncle, brother, mommy, aunt, cousins neighbor, third door down, all text and called me. UMM WTH! It will be their last call like that I am not a doormat that suffers others nosiness. I guess that is why this has never been done to me! LOL, I am the one who will tell you the error of your ways, if you do this crap!!

[@brandyb2931]

It blows my mind that a spouse's friends will get involved in a couples argument like this. This is such a foreign thing to me. There isn't a chance in hell 1 of my husband's friends would call me up and get into my arse over an argument my husband and I had, and vice versa. That is ridiculous. And its even more ridiculous for someone's mommy to get involved.

[@mimilapin]

I gassed out loud when she said the perfume name. that perfume is absolutely incredible. I keep trying to get a sample from micro perfumes because I have a friend who wears it and it is stunning.

[@inabruzzowithme7877]

He had all the info he needed to make the decision but considering how it ended, I'd say he either has a money problem (he had the money until he didn't anymore) or he hates that she wants a perfume collection so he intentionally sabotaged the purchase. Or he was cheating and spent his money on the side piece.

[@cattyanamontes5724]

I had an ex like this. Always lie and disappoint me with gifts. And I always gave great and thoughtful gifts

[@moonlightwolf]

Been nursing a migraine today. It's finally started to lift enough for me to use my phone. Mark's videos are always a welcome post-migraine treat

[@Dee-jq2ob]

On the perfume one, if I tell my husband a certain brand, it’s that or nothing, because I am a migraine sufferer and boy can perfume send me over the edge (I can’t even wear it everyday) Especially any floral smell. Perfume is very personal and I think most of us women know, if we like an expensive one, it’s on us to supply it unless our significant other has the money and wants to do it, just don’t lie.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- NTA, he should’ve looked at the price tag before telling OP to spend her money!

[@catT5236]

Story 1: the problem is he now is exhibiting a pattern of lying when he gets in iver his head. He lied to OP knowing he'd put her in a detrimental situation because he was in over his head with the expense of the perfume, then he lied to his mother because he didn't want to take accountability. It's a breach of trust twice over & at this point we don't know whether he's lying about the friends too. In order for them to actually salvage tge relationship he'd have to do a hell of a lot more than just cry & apologise. He'd need to make & enact a plan to deal with his knee jerk response of lying when overwhelmed, make amends & eork on rebuilding trust. That's a lot when they're both so young & it'd be a long & difficult journey for OP too. Maybe getting dumped over it will change his perspective but I really think the ex needs to work on himself before getting into another relationship.

[@JMac7395]

STORY 1: it appears the bf dislikes the fact that OP can buy HERSELF the expensive items she desires. This was a deliberate sabotage. OP is financially independent, pursuing a higher education & lives on her own (sort of). Unfortunately OP isn't the first person to have a partner/spouse that is envious of them smh

[@patty-pat-pat]

S2: the brother feels entitled to OWN his sister. She's responsible for his success, well being and happiness. Her bf in his eyes, took her away from him. She's supposed to manage and regulate his emotions! How dare she?!

[@KawaiiandDark]

Guy either should've gotten the perfume or told he couldn't afford it in the end before it was too late He'll, he could've even asked if getting a dupe would be fine or not so she could've either turned it down or maybe got both to compare the two in the end (bought the one she wanted herself & him the dupe) It would've been a much better gift than BBW body spray and a bath bomb

[@holdfast1979]

Always amazing when the commercial breaks happen. Mark: (serious tone) OP comes in the an update and says |Seamless Commercial Break| BITTY POPS!!

[@DestinationsChronicles]

Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. This man will ALWAYS let you down.

[@bricksloth6920]

Day two back at work with a broken hand and I was much better at advocating for myself and calling for assistance today. I'm proud of myself.

[@projectjupiter5523]

well done, I'm proud of you too and wish you a speedy recovery!

[@CircusoftheMoon]

Story 1 should be retitled: Reddit learns people with low income jobs can budget and save for things they want. Would they be saying the same thing if someone saved up to buy themselves a PS5 and some games? Or is it just things they don’t find worth saving for that they jump down someone’s throat about their budget?

[@rahulmodi8706]

I love the concept of Aita and relationship advice from strangers on the internet. I’m not a big fan of the average Redditor

[@CircusoftheMoon]

@@rahulmodi8706 It just feels like they have zero concept of the real world sometimes. lol

[@floran3098]

He chose strawberry poundcake instead of BR 540 extrait? Bro.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Hey guys , we'll my tests were done today, and I guess I am a gastronomical hot mess, lol. Oh well I finally got to have my coffee after 48 hours! Luv to all!❤

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗💜💜

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I’m sorry to hear that. Have you tried pro biotic ? It’s helped my IBS and Lactose intolerance. It’s not a cure all but our bodies create serotonin in our digestive track (I think the intestines) so it improves my mood too

[@RyuClaudius]

I didn't know the first story had an update but to answer the question, I wouldn't even reconsider getting back with him since he lied multiple times and got his family and friends to attack OP. he lied about getting OP the perfume she could've bought herself, made OP spend that money, tried to manipulate OP when he is caught in another lie about his friends attacking her. if he could do that with a minor fight, what else could he do on a major fight?

[@piratsnygg]

Story one sounds a lot like the girl's perspecitive of a story you did not long ago, but he bought a fake perfume, and it happened a couple of years back. Funny thing is I guessed it was BR540 then too. That thing still has us in a chokehold (both OG and extrait), I swear! (Yes, I have both 😅)

[@naturalPaths]

Story 1. I could’ve used some more information. How did OP become aware that boyfriend was crying crocodile tears? (The lying was enough to breakup anyway.)

[@cynochroma4349]

imagine thinking you're gonna get baccarat rouge and instead getting strawberry pound cake TT TT

[@shaetoons3602]

Story 1: I would've broke up with him as soon as he had his friends and mom attacking me. Then I would've sent the mom all the text proving her son lied. I wouldn't have wasted my time coming over.

[@renee0_0]

I was never a kid. I wasn't a sister or a daughter, I was the family slave. Everything was my responsibility and my fault. Everyone saw that my mither hated me and treated me completely differently from my siblings but no one helped. My sister tortured me and everyone protected her while dmteting to destroy me because she was so good at pkaying the victim. I'm sure she would have murdered me if she could have gotten away with it. My mom definitely would have aupoorted her. Even today my family tries to force me to "forgive and forget". I never got an apology from anyone. My brothers don't remember it being so bad because they were young, grew up seeing me be abused and neglected and thought it was normal. Instead of admitting it was so bad, they think im overdramatic....even though I've always suger coated everything because I am afraid to be labeled as overdramatic. It's frustrating to see how common this is