My Husband Doesn't Know I'm About To Divorce Him r/Relationships

[@Mrstigger747]

The little boy in story 1 is probably repeating what he is being fed by his father and grandparents! Mother should definitely look into parental alienation as it’s what is happening 👋🇨🇦

[@michealwatts7469]

Possibly but if thats the case hed want as much ammo as possible.. so his other kid would be involved. She said other kid was just going with the flow. Im a bit skeptical of this one. It is possible but Im not so sure.. the boy could just be extremely upset that he has a split home and that it was her choice to divorce so he is putting it on her.

[@Daug555]

S1: Its wild how the cheater/abuser and family are quick to tell the wounded party they are the one “breaking up the family.”

[@Alexander21025]

He's not an abuser. Abusers don't pay their victims education. She was able to divorce because of his generosity. He cheated a decade ago, and for a decade she lied everyday. People think cheating is the worst thing in the world, sure, whatever, but it is obvious he is not an all evil person.

[@Daug555]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@Alexander21025so body shaming her then cheating on her again isn’t a form of abuse? Listening comprehension is not your strong suit. Abusers can be “generous,” it’s one of their toxic traits so they can throw it back in your face later on. He’s purposely trying to alienate the kid from her because he’s upset his wife appliance finally wants out. Cheating to some folks is the worst thing in the world. The trust is no longer there. I’m sure you’ll find a low self esteem sucker to lick and then tell yourself you’re not abusive or an evil person 🙄. Let’s hope she matches your energy cause by your logic, you’re generous.

[@Alexander21025]

@Daug555 Body shaming can be abuse, or it can be just mean. When a woman tells a man, that he is not bringing enough money or criticizes him, no one says it's abuse. I never heard a woman called an abuser for wanting her husband to lose weight because she does not find it attractive. I think this is a story about a man who should have not got married and should not have stayed with a woman he did not love or desire, but stayed due to societal pressures, as a result they hurt each other.

[@shells500tutubo]

@@Alexander21025 "I think this is a story about a man who should have not got married and should not have stayed with a woman he did not love or desire, but stayed due to societal pressures, as a result they hurt each other." No, that is not it at all. This is a man who is a degenerate cheater, who has cheated before and all through the marriage with multiple partners. Op only specifically mentions two of them, and had evidence for many more, but didn't bother to waste money investigating it because they live in a no fault state. For all we know he is still cheating because that is what he does. Big whoop, he paid for trade school. That is the trade off for her staying at home to raise the kids that HE wanted, and for being financially dependent on him. He OWED her that at the very least. Partners like this want to stay married because they like the stability of the home and family, bt also want the thrill of cheating. A person like this would never agree to an open marriage because the deceit is part of the thrill.

[@autumn557]

And yet oh so common.

[@grecia3146]

Story 1: YIKES. People really expect other for OP to be a saint after the husband cheated on her WITH HER COUSIN.

[@joeschmo622]

_"Why couldn't she just have the tacos doordashed??"_ Maybe because 10bux worth of food ends up costing 35bux after all the fees, charges, tips, etc., are figured in? You gotta be either stoopit-rich or just stoopit to pay that kind of markup.

[@autumnjey4683]

good point. also, WHY couldn't her husband have just picked her up the food? it's not just about "she wanted tacos" it's about him not putting in any effort or care.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

@@autumnjey4683 This

[@laurag502]

also that tortilla will be soggy has hell by the time you get it

[@hollyberry0602]

Or desperate lol My brain can be very difficult and sometimes I just don't eat all day. Cooking is stressful even when I'm not tired and upset. I also can't drive, and if there's no one around who can help me pick up a takeout order, I gotta just get it delivered. But that doesn't apply in this case, Bert could totally have picked up the tacos quite easily just to appease his wife who he apparently cares about.

[@Becks-and-books]

Also, who’s to say it’s available to be doordashed? It didn’t sound like it was, bc he suggested something else to be doordashed

[@nickim270]

Story 1: Revenge is a dish best served cold kinda story and I'm here for it.

[@Wander85942]

This isn’t revenge or pettiness, this is survival. Hopefully OP’s kids will realize she did it for them too. So they’d be set up rather than with a mom struggling financially with a destroyed self esteem.

[@DUSTKILLL]

Survival? We are only getting one side of the story. From my experience women tend to make everything the man's fault. Sure he cheated and said a few insults a decade ago but to fake it for years and years just to milk more assets from A man? No wonder most dudes avoid relationships these days

[@aduckofsomesort]

Having sex with other people isn’t survival though

[@aduckofsomesort]

Cheating isn’t for survival though

[@Wander85942]

@ oh give her a break. He stepped out on her and right onto her family tree. Then continued to cheat and degrade her. God forbid she gets some validation. It seemed like everyone in her life expected her to keep taking it till death do they part.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Yeah, and she had children, it's not like she stayed out if comfort or because he sweet talked her

[@ryangooseling]

1. The son blames op for breaking up the family. Thats daddy in his ear. Bet the kid changes his tune in the future, once he's cheated on.

[@Devilsblight86]

Or he grows up to become a cheater himself. Sadly, that could happen with kids, both male and female. And worse, he could grow up still blaming mom even when shit hits the fan with him.

[@gngrblls2thwall]

I mean, it's a kid. You can't expect to put on an act in front of a little kid for 7 years and then one day tell them "actually that was all fake" and expect them to be all "oh okay cool beans"

[@Devilsblight86]

@@gngrblls2thwall True. But what disturbs me is that he knows the reason WHY they divorced. OP told him. Yet, he's blaming OP for basically "destroying" the family and wants her to stay with someone who HURT her. All I can see is the kid hating OP as he grows up if he doesn't get therapy. Like since yesterday.

[@gngrblls2thwall]

@@Devilsblight86 He may eventually hate his dad too once he becomes independent enough to not need a parent at all. Kids crave stability and security above all else. He's just clinging to the less unnerving, more secure option. The cheater isn't trustworthy, but there's still at least the chance that if they betray you, you'll be able to sense it. But someone who has proven they can put on an act that fooled you for 7 years sets off all kinds of primitive instinctual alarms.

[@ScorpiusZA.]

He'll probably be a cheater himself with responses like he gave.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

S2: "My pregnant wife is feeling depressed, anxiety and sad due to a previous miscarriage, so I'm ignoring her until she's behaving better." Wtf is that logic.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Unfortunately she decided to have a another kid with him and now she is stuck.

[@johnbradbury8610]

My mistake, I thought this was the second kid she had with bert

[@lorifiedler13]

He was being distant, and possibly cheating. She wanted something nice and wanted her husband to being it to her on his way home from work. But he declined to do that 1 simple thing. Kate tells OP how sad that her won't bring her the tacos. So Kate asks Tim. Tim not only got the tacos, he remembered the casserole and stuff in OPs car. It didn't take much to show up Bert.

[@DemonAngel]

Wow... those commenters have to be cheaters. OP did what she needed to do to secure herself, her kids, and her/their future. People dont comment like this when its an OP was in an abusive/gaslighting/love bombing relationship

[@Nortarachanges]

These commenters make me think of the guys who try to talk their spouses into quitting work, cutting off family and friends, the whole nine, all while shopping for a newer model on the side Or those incels who cry that all women want from men is money while at the same time try to roll back women’s rights to before we could have money

[@CarinaCoffee]

Or they're just privileged men who never had to face the world as a woman, with 2 children and apparently not good enough education to get a job, like OP. Good on her to take the time to get herself in a position where she can support herself and the kids long-term.

[@reyjones6472]

Her husband calls her a gold digger and says that all women want is money? Maybe if he had I dunno.. a half decent personality, honesty, empathy, compassion, or any loyalty to offer in the first place, a woman might find something else in him of value. If all you have to offer your partner is money, and not love, don't villainize them for taking it.

[@anonymouse9833]

Right, basically all he was offering her _was_ money. The rest of the "marriage" was a sham.

[@jbenko13]

Eloquently put!

[@momo382844]

He’s salty because OP played him at his own game. It ain’t fun when rabbit has the 💀.

[@bhutehole]

then why did she stay with him after all this for money if she wasnt a gold digger?

[@CarinaCoffee]

​@@bhutehole did you not listen to the story? She couldn't get a job and was trapped with 2 children. Did you think he'd stay home with the kids while she got an education and a job afterwards? In a perfect world she'd have been able to leave him immediately, but the truth is that women have less opportunities and get paid less then men in the same job situation and educational level. Finding child support as someone with kids is tough even in rich welfare states in Europe. She might not have a family and friend structure that could have helped her look after them while she made money. So unless you financially support someone in such a situation or help change laws that impact the women in your country negatively you don't get to criticise a woman for levelling the playing field.

[@tanyapoe5490]

Cheaters deserve no consideration. As someone whose marriage ended because her husband couldn't keep it in his pants all I can say is "eh well".

[@Kalossupremacy3356]

Honestly op way more patient than me, cause I may have kidnapped the children and left the country.

[@dreamart3395]

Story 1 .... why would people comment that OP was a conniving witch for 'playing' the dutiful wife while all along plotting/planning her great escape? It wasn't like she was putting drops of poison in her husband's coffee every day so that he was not just a bastard but a sick bastard for six years. And it wasn't like she was sitting around doing nothing. She took care of kids, her home and herself ... and probably him when he wasn't off screwing stray women. What exactly was she supposed to do? ... two little kids, unskilled, no job/opportunities. She earned her formal education, car and body upgrades. Slaving away as a SAHM and serving a cheating husband for six year is worth a lot of money. It is unfortunate her children are suffering the consequences of the situation. A situation I might add began and continued to fester by the SOB husband.

[@onionsbroccoli-on6jf]

imo these are the same people who were the original cheater, and claim to have "morals" haha. Also it sounds like they might be men, who get upset that they're wives, who are sahms. They act like these women don't do a thing...

[@Iflie]

Men think that's his money, exactly why women shouldn't stay home and do his care, because to these men she is a mootch no matter what.

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: Sounds like "father of the year" has already started alienating the kid from OP1. S2: Bert's cheating. Simple as that. So many scumbags do so when their wives are heavily pregnant. Escalating things like that could have made things worse TBH. I found the tuna casserole thing to be a cheeky middle finger to Bert. Update: wait. She kept him AFTER HE CHEATED before but an off color comment was the final straw? WTF but at least the trash has been taken out.

[@madgevanness4011]

It wasn’t just “off color”. He basically said her lost son’s life was worth nothing.

[@terramarini6880]

That also tells me he's not avoiding her by staying at the office, it just a lie that sounds better than the truth. He's up to his old cheating habits again.

[@juliearmfield2634]

​@@terramarini6880oh he is so cheating

[@MarkStockman-b4j]

And then there are weirdos like myself for whom a pregnant woman is not only beautiful, but sacred. Literally. )O( And no, I'm not going to hell- Satan still has that restraining order against me. 😎

[@terramarini6880]

@@MarkStockman-b4j Lol, he's scared I'll take over too! Or at least that's what my mom always said.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

High-and-mighty devil's advocate comments like the ESH on story two are so infuriating. Why are they acting like OP deliberately made tuna casserole to upset Bert from three states away? Why are they acting like fees for food delivery aren't exorbitant? A friend who is willing to bring you your craving, bring enrichment for your kids, and dinner for later is a lovely thing. It's ridiculous to call taking care of someone in need an attempt to show up a shitty partner.

[@faeb.9618]

because they are too privileged to realize how expensive it is to use doordash and how important it is to have friends willing to help you, therefore everyone else should be able to do it

[@funkijote]

Even if it was a dig at Bert, if someone who also loves someone you love, makes a caring gesture towards them that you neglected, maybe consider whether that gesture should be in your own repertoire. My mom did this to/for me a couple years back when she was visiting my city and learned when she invited my gf to an impromptu lunch, that she was stuck at her apt with a stomach bug, and that I hadn’t sent her fluids, bland comfort foods etc… (vs just my well-wishes). Mom sent her a 1-of-everything “care package” by delivery and sent me the bill (a couple hundred $ 😅). Knowing my mom, this was totally a dig at me (I’m quite self-sufficient and forget sometimes that others may be able to suffice themselves, but their well-being is greatly enhanced by outside care), and yeah, I felt salty about it because I’d f’ed up. I bit my tongue, thanked/reimbursed mom, and resolved to do better.

[@Rattleyroy]

I think the part that stuck it to me is that while she could order doordash, she asked her HUSBAND to get it for her, because he's her HUSBAND. It's like when you ask a friend to do you a favor that you're perfectly capable of doing yourself. Sometimes it feels nice to have someone do something for you that you asked for. It's how you know that person listens and cares about you. Which OP's friend was clearly lacking based off everything else told in the original post. Makes me wonder if the devil's attorney commenter has a husband like that and she's trying to do mental gymnastics to not have to acknowledge the fact that that sort of husband is crap.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Everyone's forgetting that last sentence in the update: that Bert had already stepped out on his wife! Why she decided to have another kid with him is beyond me. $20 says he's been "avoiding" his "unhappy" wife while laying pipe with someone else during his long "work hours". The blow up on something minor is the tell-tale sign of someone hiding something.

[@maniaclaugh]

Bert went from 'incompetent jerk' for not even bringing her food and avoiding her for being terrified out of her mind over her baby's life to 'just a monster' when he brought up how he was glad her 1st died so he couldn't be there to see her be 'not happy'. Let's not even talk about the cheating, he's a bingo square of every shitty thing you can do to your partner short of physical abuse

[@BoxOKittens]

People really hate women who aren't perfect innocent victims. They want her to leave him immediately and struggle instead of wait and plan. The way people love the story of women suffering and trying so hard in life is honestly voyeuristic. As soon as the woman ends up screwing over the man, she's suddenly the villain.

[@Passions5555]

Yep. This.

[@Nortarachanges]

Yeah the “you’re toxic” comment was grrooooooss

[@haroldvazquez]

Yeah, not to be the AH, but you don't see too much of that. It's more like if the guy leaves the woman, he's the bad guy, and that's seen plenty. However, I admit the guy in this story is trah.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Whether it's a man or woman whom is betrayed in the marriage too many think they should some how suffer by doing a meaningless reconciliation or leaving immediately which often screws them over financially. Something to show they are the "noble" victim. Well no one is perfect and there's no nobility in suffering to show everyone how "innocent" OP or any betrayed spouse is.

[@momo382844]

It’s damn if you do, damn if you don’t. Can’t win. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@LA_choca]

Ladies. This is why its never a good idea to become completely financially dependant on a man. EVER.

[@dreamart3395]

Amen ....

[@momo382844]

Louder for those in the back!

[@kateemma22]

FACTS!

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Yep! I love my fiance to bits, but it'll be a cold day in Hell before I quit my job and voluntarily become dependent on another person

[@JayeEllis]

Even my Grandfather knew this - he faithfully invested in his wife's name because she was a SAH, and he wanted her protected in case something happened to him.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Completely F’d that everyone’s blaming OP. I can understand the stbx husband and the stbx in-laws, they’re all crap, but the son as well. Hopefully when he gets older he’d see things for what they are and stop hating on OP, though I worry the ex would turn him against her even further, I wouldn’t put it past him.

[@icecreamnoodles3742]

Exactly my thoughts. Hope the kid can eventually see what is truly happening. But for that OP will have to be very blunt about what daddy dearest has actually done and how he has treated her, at some point. Who knows if she will. Hope the divorce goes 50/50, smooth, clean and fast.

[@feistsorcerer2251]

Hopefully the kids grows up and understand better. But I'm sure the dad is going to alienate him from the mom, and a selfish dad will often encourage a selfish son if he doesn't have positive male role models to look to instead. So it's a toss up how things end up for the family.

[@laica01]

To tell the truth I hope that the OP do tell the child why they are divorcing and not remain quiet like always because that is infuriating!

[@Cruz2917]

​@@laica01I highly doubt she'll mention her own cheating.

[@shadowkissed2370]

@@laica01I hope OP thinks carefully before following the common advice to "not tell the kids" about their father’s behavior, especially if there was abuse involved. I tried to take the high road, never saying anything negative about my ex or the extreme mental, physical, and emotional abuse I experienced. But he didn’t hold back on his end-he filled my kids' heads with lies and convinced them I was the one making things up. Now, they believe I'm the liar, and I deeply regret not being honest with them from the start. I wish I'd trusted my instincts instead of relying only on therapists' advice.

[@bricksloth6920]

S2: irrelevant now but Bert was lying when he said he was staying late at the office because his wife wasn't happy enough to suit him. He wasn't staying late at the office, he was banging some other chick.

[@Number-vt1fl]

This woman has a herculean level of patience.

[@barbthegreat586]

That's how you win, with strategy and patience.

[@BruinPhD2009]

@@barbthegreat586 Yup. One of my teachers used to say to us “you should NEVER be in a hurry because that’s when you make mistakes.”

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #2: Woof. Bert just kept getting worse and worse and worse, didn't he? At least she finally kicked him to the curb.

[@TheBlueDsc]

S1: Pff, that comment calling OP Toxic is an absolute clown. Like "How dare you hate the man that has been an emotionally abusive serial cheater for over half a decade!" Edit: I don't have anything to really add on Story 2, but the Husband not stopping for food reminds me of an actually nice story of my Bestie and her Hubby, so I want to share it! I got a call from my Bestie recently laughing because she had stopped by a cafe near them to get food for herself and her Hubby who was gonna be home from work soon. She was laughing because she got a call from her Hubby who had stopped by the same cafe to get the same food on his way home, so the ended up with two sets of food! Those two love each other so much it is just the best. Also, she does watch these videos and knows my account, so if you see this, love ya bestie!

[@Buttfucker420]

No because if op was a man they would be called worse I’m tired of people having different standards for women than men. Grow up

[@thekameru6058]

Hard agree. Some guys will twist themselves into pretzils to make other men right and women wrong, regardless of what they've done.

[@BleedingGrafitti]

Usually come from morons who think of themselves as saints with the mentality of "I would never!", when the reality is that many (if not most) would do the same thing as OP, because they're human and humans aren't perfect. Is it the RIGHT thing to do? Of course not. But at the same time you can't blame them in a situation like this. People attacking OP are really tattling on themselves and projecting.

[@philwill0123]

​@@thekameru6058we see it all the time. Man cheats on her, then it's "it's your fault for staying". She leaves and it's "oh, you have no interest in saving the marriage". Now suddenly her revenge affair is now worse than him detonating the marriage and multiple affairs....

[@phoenixfire8978]

She got herself educated, and a career so she can earn her own money and keep the kids out of poverty. She made sure her body was healthy and in top shape. What she did was ruthlessly pragmatic and I can’t disagree with her choice. She’s positioned herself so that she can springboard into a successful future. I think the sentiment that living happily is the ultimate revenge is common on Reddit.

[@catharsismemory]

The ones calling her toxic must be men that want her sit and be a doormat but they'll overlook the Husband's unfaithfulness.

[@MGP2210]

Nope. There are quite a few women who also think just as foolishly.

[@MinkxiTes]

You'd be shocked to learn how many women, especially more oder and/or "traditional"/conservative, do think and say the same and would call her all the names. You just thinking it's only the men, is ignorant. And before your mind even goes into that direction, I didn't claim it is only women, reread if you start thinking that.

[@brookelynnwu8016]

I’m sure these are the same men see nothing wrong with a husband manipulaïng his loving, doting wife into being a SAHM completely dependent on him. So, he can cheät, lïe, and abüse the wife as much as he likes and trap her like a prïson. And then when he’s tired of her he dumps her, leaving her destitute after 2-4 decades when she has no job, no experience, no savings…

[@whims6278]

​@MinkxiTes I agree with your first paragraph, but calling her ignorant is a stretch. Yes, there are horrifically misogynistic women, but it's a majority of men. It's just statistically more likely to be a man, so the original generalization was valid.

[@RajAujla-h4c]

I was fist pumping for story 1. Good for OP for making sure she had stability for herself and kids before she divorced him, cos we all know wifey 2 would have been rinsing him now while she struggled to make ends meet. The bitter comments were probably from divorced spouses who had to pay out. I have one who was an abuser (not a cheater) and now wants me to pay him for the privilege. Thing is I would happily pay him to just go away and leave me and my kids alone, they hate him due to the way he mistreated us all. I love a happy ending. ❤

[@GregMunro]

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient.

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@GregMunro]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@GregMunro]

You wont regret it

[@KJ-sp9jq]

S1: Love that OP is "toxic" for wanting a safety net and her share of the marriage. We get far to many stories where the woman is a stay at home mom and then the husband leaves her without a pot to piss in. Good on her for taking him to the cleaners. He fucked around and found out.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: Let this be a lesson to anyone who wants to stay home with the kids: you MUST consider your lost earning potential and what that will mean if you lose your partner, in any number of ways. NTA - The long con, I like it! The minute he betrayed his vows, you started your exit plan. Why in the world should you put anyone but you and your babies in the #1 position after that? You did what you had to in order to make sure you were safe and could afford to care for your kids.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Feel bad for that one comment that vouched for Bert, I too wanted to give that moldy dishrag the benefit of the doubt but can’t have that now that Bert’s revealed how much of a shithead he is. Throwing his wife's miscarriage in her face? What? Unforgivable and repugnant, just…wow. And that’s on top of ignoring her and leaving her all by her lonesome just because he found her “not fun”. I hope she takes him over the coals for child support. Get every last penny, because this loser will give up his physical custody when he realizes parenting isn't always sunshine and rainbows.

[@kateemma22]

Play Devil’s Advocate then expect to get the fast train to hell lol

[@autumnjey4683]

i agree with everything the first OP did, EXCEPT for her assesment that her ex is "a good dad." i don't understand why people think that abusive spouses won't abuse their own children. he clearly thought of his wife as his property and was happy to mistreat her, why does she think it will be any different for her kids? the misogyny is already rubbing off on the oldest. abusive/cheating spouses ARE NOT GOOD PARENTS.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

Even shitty people have their limits and standards with the prime example being everyone against pedophiles especially in prison.

[@autumnjey4683]

@fiyahquacker2835 how is OP supposed to know where her ex's limit is? nobody thinks that their children's parent will abuse them but it still happens. some garbage people have limits and some don't, and OP has no way of knowing which her ex is.

[@user-blob]

He’s already mistreating his kids, by mistreating their mum. They’ll no doubt understand this when they’re older but if not…tough.

[@lordnazar6382]

Gotta disagree on this, to some degree. Abusive spouses absolutely are awful parents, because they show an example. Cheating in the other hand, is usually not something that kids will learn about. And a cheating spouse is an awful spouse, but they can still be a great parent.

[@autumnjey4683]

@@lordnazar6382 cheating on your spouse makes you a bad parent. you are destroying your family. also i strongly disagree that cheating isn't something kids usually learn about, its better to be honest with kids in an age appropriate way than leaving them to wonder what happened or blame themselves. kids are smarter than you think, they're going to pick up that something bad happened. why is it not bad parenting to you to literally destroy your family unit?

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #1: I see the Incels found this post. Glad OP just laughed them off. After all, she's had lots of experience married to a toxic douchebag. OP needs to get her son into therapy, pronto. She wouldn't be doing him any favors by staying with The Creep. He's just so used to how toxic his daddy is that it feels normal to him.

[@lily-zg6io]

Story 1: when you see in the update how the kid talks, it's almost word for word what so-to-be-ex is saying - not breaking up the family, putting all the blame for the divorce on OP (because who could have told him that it was "all OP's fault), that he doesn't want a step-family (the STBX who called OP a sl!t for going to celebrate with her friends). I hope OP takes this seriously and looks actively into parental alienation before this permanently damages her son and her relationship with him

[@user-blob]

Bert wasn’t at work. He was off having a “jolly holiday with Mary.”

[@greendiamondglow]

The people calling OP toxic are wild. What was she supposed to do? Divorce him with no safety nets? I bet the son begging his mom not to leave her lying, cheating ex is just his daddy being in his ear.

[@onionsbroccoli-on6jf]

These must be the same type of people, who would cheat on their SO. Then get upset, that they’re spouse would cheat back.

[@Passions5555]

The one who initiates the divorce is the one people typically treat as the bad guy.

[@bangeryun94]

Indeed. Personally I think Mum should tell her son EVERYTHING his father has done to her over the years. And then let it go. He'll see who his father actually is in time. He'll grow up to be a good man or a pig just like his Dad

[@slick8086]

> What was she supposed to do? Divorce him with no safety nets? Yes, exactly that's what having personal integrity means. The people that fail to understand that are not worthy of any trust.

[@mynameismin3]

Yes

[@botanicalitus4194]

Even it OP 1's husband only cheated on her once with a stranger, she wouldnt be wrong to do any of this. Cheating is not a minor oopsie, its the complete destruction of a relationship. So why should she suffer bc he cheated? She did nothing wrong by taking his money and cheating back

[@mriddley]

4:01 yeah this guy and hjs right (or left) hand are very well acquainted

[@crawdaddy2004]

RIGHT? I get so angry at people (generally men) who talk about the employed partner as the only one contributing to their living situation. OP’s job was to cook, clean, raise the kids, do literally every errand, laundry, etc. Let’s see what it would cost for daycare, a maid, and a chef for a year. That should be what OP receives as her “salary.” My guess is that it’s more than ex-husband would like to admit.

[@loganjoh1]

Story 1: OP needs to fight for full custody that “man” will try and poison them against OP the son will understand eventually but he can’t spend too much time with his toxic father

[@d3lllt]

How a man could think it’s fair for a woman to abandon her “independence” and worldly ambitions, trust you and commit her ENTIRE LIFE to building you and your family…then he calls her a gold digger!? You expect her to leave with the clothes on her back, moving from shelter to shelter with your kids? She is only taking what is HERS and what she worked hard for as well.

[@chamab.6800]

That’s exactly what most men want and expect. They want women and their children to be destitute as punishment for leaving. Men have said out loud that once they’re done with the mom it’s f*ck those kids.

[@fabire7799]

S1: I can't understand how people are angry that she had her ex pay for her education. In my home country, if you're a SAHM or any kind of stay at home parent, the working parent is required BY LAW to give you money for your hobbies. The stay at home parent deserves more than just bare neccessities in life! And if she wants to spend that money for trade school she can! It's THEIR money in a marriage. It just sucked that she had to wait this long to be stable in life to divorce him. I can't understand the people who were like: You should've divorced him immediately!!! And do what? Live on the streets with two BABIES? I dunno that doesn't sound nice.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Working while on bed rest? I know you lyin'!! Those delivery things are insanely expensive. Bert could have just picked the food up. Def sounds like he's cheating. Unfortunately it's very common when a woman is pregnant. It's so easy to upstage Bert, he's on a speedrun for horrible husband.

[@madgevanness4011]

Given remote work these days, she could well be. Or she may own a business and just doing basic administrative tasks.

[@stirlingarcher7972]

Story 1: let the kid stay with his father for a while, he’ll find out real quick he’s just as replaceable to that man as his mother is.

[@ineedhoez]

Story 1: people have to understand that you can't live your life for your children. They grow up and go live their own lives. You're responsible for them for 20 years. If you have them in your 20s, they'll be out of your house by the time you are in your 40s. You then have another 40 years to live your life. Don't let their feelings about happy families keep you trapped in a toxic situation. In the words of Bernie Mac, F them kids!!!😂😂😂

[@user-blob]

Agreed.

[@CJ-BZ]

Mark & Lost Genre going bar for bar 😂

[@bluexwings]

S2: Man, bad vibes from the start. He didn't want to make the effort to comfort his bed ridden wife, but was mad when her friends did. Then he was upset that the care package was something SHE could eat, but wasn't to his tastes. Then kept going downhill... Throwing her miscarriage in her face? Expecting her to be over her anxieties at the snap of his fingers? Dude's full on trash.

[@ViolettaVie]

Exactly! My husband would have been overjoyed if friends sent me comfort foods, even if he didn't like those foods. In fact, he went out of his way to get me whatever I wanted while pregnant because he knew there were things I couldn't enjoy. Bert was trash from the start! It doesn't take much effort to care for your spouse. He just didn't care.

[@arcaderat1613]

Anyone who spouts out the "Women are gold diggers, women just want money!" BS are really just telling on themselves. If the only kind of women you're attracting are the kind who are golddiggers then that means the only thing you have to offer is the money. If your personality, behavior, and treatment of others is dogshit, expect the same in return.

[@roelthas]

Cheaters deserve no respect, so good on OP.

[@ineedhoez]

Story 1: All the men were in their feels because a woman was smart, got her shit together, and played him like a fcking fiddle!!!!! THIS is how you get out and win!!!

[@user-blob]

This exactly!!!

[@Passions5555]

Dunno about her actually winning. That horrible husband is going to turn her oldest son against her yo get his revenge. He is going to hit her where it hurts. The in-laws are going to help alienate the children too, I bet.

[@ineedhoez]

@Passions5555 That was going to happen anyway. If she stayed, the children were going to turn out like their POS father. If she left immediately, the kids would have turned on her AND she would have suffered through poverty, struggle, and stress. She was always going to lose the kids. At least she gets to have a future.

[@Passions5555]

@@ineedhoez that is honestly depressing.

[@ineedhoez]

@Passions5555 it's life when your partner is toxic AF. Hopefully, kids get perspective once they are older. Maybe they can see their father for who he is. I doubt though. That toxic family system doesn't show any signs of changing. Makes no sense for her to martyr herself. The kids were gonna hate her anyway. The kids will align with the toxic parent for the "safety" and it sucks.

[@missmax2492]

The comment saying she should doordash is mad privileged. The equivalent in my country will push a 1k jm order up to 2150 with delivery and service fee

[@TheAlphaDingo]

OP was a fool for staying around so long - with no kids in the picture, by all means, squeeze the cheating partner for your share but as soon as you have kids, you'll be judged in their eyes and OP wasn't much better than the husband here and will be seen as the one pulling the plug on the family. Feel for the kids, 2 sheet bags for parents smh

[@clarissagafoor5222]

Story1 is why i feel sorry for these young women who are playing the trad wife game. And OP had every right to make things work for them Story2 - all one can do is hope OP's friend finds happiness now she's free.

[@Siinwu]

tbh. 1st one, they deserve each other at this point, delulu family.

[@jmarie9997]

Any time a man wails about ALL women being gold-diggers, I want to ask him, "Well, what else do you have to offer?" Also Son is far more likely to get a stepMOTHER than a stepfather. Men like Dad tend to remarry.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

"Maybe Bert is tired too..." Aw, poor Bert (the one-time cheater, it turns out) is too tired to stop at a drive-thru to pick up a food order that Kate could've called in. ON HIS WAY HOME. A five minute stop where he doesn't even have to get out of the car is too much? Fk that noise. Turns out he's an AH anyway. Good riddance.

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 1: I am glad that you are financially better off so that you can leave his sorry ass! He owed it to you by paying for your trade school considering what he had put you through when he financially, emotionally, mentally, psychologically abused you!

[@erinisler1255]

The first story reminds me of a similar story where a man found out his wife was cheating on him. He went to a lawyer and the lawyer said look you make more than her and she spends more time with the kids so she’ll probably get main custody and he would have to pay alimony. He instead decided to wait, he helped her boost her career so she made more money and he took on more childcare and took a lower paying job so he could be with the kids. This took years, but in the end he got majority custody and she paid him alimony. Most of the comments were saying good for you, and I don’t remember really much of any negativity. That is to say if she were a man she wouldn’t have gotten those comments I think and people would praise her like that did him.

[@sylvieroche9364]

The comments are hilariously delulu : "he paid for everything and you didn't have to pay a dime" ! Oh yeah, she was the maid at home, he owes her a salary, she was the cook, he owes her a salary, she was probably also doing all the parenting, planning their everyday life, etc ! But of course, because she is married to him, unpaid work is normal ! While she is doing that and birthing his kids, she cannot work, earn her own money and plan her retirement, but that's normal too, i guess. People who are ok with wives going homeless if they opt for a divorce are BAD PEOPLE.

[@MsStrangeEmilie]

Kids can be just like daddy. Son can eat sand. 😂😂 life isn't fair , kiddo, too bad.

[@hilaryc3203]

If there is anything Reddit has taught me it's "Oh how I do love being single" :)

[@cheskydivision]

Crazy how ppl think op is milking soon to be ex for money. Op was in the marriage building the family and contributing to hubby’s success.

[@whatcouldgowrongpodcast]

Thank you for making me smile with your awesome content! You have such a nice voice, it's always a pleasure to listen to you read stories. :)

[@spikeoramathon]

Story 2: I agree with the commenters: the husband didn't want to pick up tacos for his pregnant wife on his way home from work because he wasn't at work, he was with a side piece. Hence his rage when someone else drops off food for "his" woman.

[@EnDB]

They really expected OP to be some martyr and keep getting cheated on? How wild of them.

[@changrila]

Story 1 is a cautionary tale for women who marry men to become SAHMs and can’t support themselves. Especially in a country with next to no social security safety net. I don’t blame her for preparing to leave for years, or for cheating back, but she did take it a bit far with the plastic surgery. That was just revenge, not necessity.

[@morphinpink]

OP 1 did nothing wrong, she's a hero and I'm proud of her 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@Wildpeonies23]

Ntah. Let’s shame OP for cheating back, 🗣️NOT. The husband did not care, he cheated with her cousin, and then random women. Why would OP just sit there is and take it. OP gave him children and still shamed her body for giving life. I applaud OP, the marriage was done.

[@LA_choca]

Its funny how people got mad at op for getting her pay back 😂😂😂

[@FlamesofJagger]

I said it once earlier today and I'll say it again; D&D and waffles = comfort 🎉💯🎉💯

[@lasagnewolf]

By D & D do you mean Dungeons and Dragons?

[@amandahardman9395]

Yup!

[@bluexwings]

I disagree about the tuna casserole. The implication is that she can't have food that he doesn't enjoy. Wtf is that? If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to eat it. The entire point is to save HER effort.

[@pinkesthibiscus]

wooo bedtime waffles! lovely to see the videos but most importantly hope you’re feeling better Mark! 🩷

[@lasagnewolf]

Goodnight, fellow Waffle Gang member!

[@sweetmemoriesms]

I don't think that them giving the tuna casserole is a bad thing. They are supporting the pregnant woman, not the lacking husband. So they're entitled to give something, that he doesn't like. They make sure, he doesn't eat her food.

[@miamiare9642]

Lol, id do the exact same thing as OP in story 1

[@melissabrooks1700]

I can agree for the most part that OP in the first story had the right to want to divorce her husband but that last update when she said she deserves to be selfish and put herself first.... absolutely NOT! You should always put your children first. Make sure to spend more time with your children and help them through this instead of being an entitled ass. Your children didn't ask for any of this. They need to feel loved by both parents and saying your going to be selfish makes you no better than your prick husband.

[@eveliinahannele]

What she meant by being selfish was that she is going though with the divorce no matter what the son says

[@tatkkyo9911]

I agree with the other commenter it was about the divorce and not staying married for the kid

[@EvilSinx]

I'm sure they only mentioned waffles to make sure Mark was gonna find that story xD

[@temari105]

Hi Mark!! I love your stories!!!

[@jrayburn3428]

My thought on Bert's comment about the son is that he wouldn't have dated a single mother.

[@jmac5951]

I applaud OP for not being a victim. Her relationship with the son may be impacted, but that might well be the case anyway, given what Dear Old Dad was modeling. As to the son, get therapy and give it time.

[@abvhrulz]

Story 2: why would you work that much unpaid OT when you have a wife stuck in bed? Insane. He’s lying.

[@Burglar-King]

Bert the triple AH. Kates first husband dies, then her son.Bert is possibly one of the cruelest AH. Don’t let me near him. Divorce…live you best life darling and lose this loser.

[@nataliereeves3594]

Story 2: i still think he's cheating, as was mentioned in the update that he has cheated before. The man is just horid.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

14:34 FOH! She’s making a whole ass person, Bert can do things for himself! Blaming OP and Tim was absolute BS! I also don’t give af that Bert doesn’t like tuna casserole

[@littlegreycat]

8:20 sadly the son has learned how to treat Mom from Dad.

[@eldeano9964]

S1: As always, switch the gender. And it's the same as getting your ducks in a row so you avoid getting financially screwed. The comments dismissing the son's feelings though....

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

17:30 Bert is actually evil AF

[@xxCSONVETxx]

Reverse: man does this crap. He's an unemployed narcissistic ass. Woman: you go girl! Yeah, Toxic is the most appropriate definition for this behavior, period.

[@TorKonungr]

Gotta love the incels coming out in droves just to really validate why OP is making the CORRECT course of action.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@ondank]

Story 2 : Tim struck Bert from land, air, sea and even got the orbital ion cannon involved. I like Tim.

[@huinismith]

I have the utmost respect for the people capable of playing the long game.

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

If you tell a mother that it's a good thing their child died, you DESERVE to be immediately alone. Eww what a pathetic one he is.

[@romonaelrod7870]

Hello waffle lovers. Hiya Mark and Poppy. Much love to all of you cheeky so and so's.

[@KadeStringer2.0]

Story 2 op isn’t in the wrong

[@colleens1107]

Ohh…wow. Maybe Bert isn’t cheating but HOLY CRAP that update is WORSE than him cheating. OMG TO SAY THAT ABOUT A WOMANS DEAD BABY🤬

[@Rattleyroy]

Story 1 is why I always feel icky about SAH parents. Like, I'm all for living your life how you choose, and there are obvious advantages to one parent being the caretaker. But at the same time, in today's world, you essentially put yourself at the mercy of someone that could one day choose to abuse their power over you, and you don't really have much recourse at this point. I'm not married myself, and I don't really see it on my future, but if I ever do, I'll be damned if I allow my wife to be a SAH mom. I don't think anyone should put their eggs in one basket, no matter the circumstances. That's not to say I would cheat or abuse her, but more so that I wouldn't feel comfortable with myself being in a relationship with such a power imbalance. There's also the case of when the working spouse suddenly passes, and now the remaining parent has to hold things down. Good luck trying to find a job that provides a similar income to the deceased partner that has no gap in their work history.

[@wkenealey]

Of course Mark would agree about waffles. 😂

[@nativewarmask9861]

Story one, you let him to believe that you forgave him, you cheated on him out of anger because of what he did, and it sounds like you've done it multiple times just like he did, and just the way she talks, I'm sorry, this just sounds like someone bragging, this does not sound like someone making a great escape, this just sounds like someone completely and utterly bragging about their situation. And I say this is someone who left my ex-wife literally with no plan, the only source of income I had was through SSI, and it took me years to find the forms stability, but I knew that if I stayed with that woman. Suicide would probably be the end of that situation. so I have very strong feelings about this particular topic. And if it was a guy who was in the same situation, I would have the exact same opinion, it's not a gender specific issue for me, it's a matter of, standby your convictions, if you don't agree with something then do not silently endorse what that thing is.

[@Davtwan]

S2: Bert doesn’t want Tim to help, because it influences Kate that she can do better. Making sure their partner has a poor frame of reference to a good relationship is straight from the insecure playbook. Update: never mind. It was somehow worse. Oh yeah, “wouldn’t have this life at all.” What a good life he gave her. 🙄

[@melvinthewatermelon4459]

The comment mentioning op being a single mom of two like it’s an insult reeks of misogyny

[@melosidhe779]

Color me NOT surprised to hear AH second husband was a cheater.

[@catalyst336]

s1: hes stupid for cheating and thinking he got forgiven. should have divorced her back then and left her with half of 25k and nothing else.

[@tatkkyo9911]

While I understand the sentiment. With no job prospects, she would have likely lost everything in the end. I don't like her cheating back, though. But divorce could have burned that 25k before they were done and no job prospects cause you looked after the kids is rough.

[@DDs878]

The way Mark says "tacos" lol

[@queenof2kings299]

She handled that all wrong. She should've left, found another place and had the divorce papers drawn and on the bes when he got home. Watch out for the son that knows whathappened but whats you to stay. He needs counseling ASAP. He may develop violent tendencies toward females.

[@elfdragon1227]

Found another place with what money?? She was a stay at home mom with a big employment gap. It's very difficult for SAHMs to get employment after years of not working a job so they can take care of their family.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Electricity is finally restored after 5 hours! Oh well, am here now. Much love everyone ❤️ ❤️ ❤️