I can't be the only one... | Loneliness

[@AlabamaMarrs]

People find it hard to understand it’s possible to feel lonely even in a room full of people. The weird thing is if I opened up & told someone I was lonely, my first reaction to them offering to come over would be ‘no, I want to be alone’ 😩 Yet on the outside I reckon people I know would never believe me as I seem outgoing & busy & confident.

[@jessely8209]

Releaved to hear I'm not the only one who's ended up in A&E when I was having a panic attack. Loneliness is such an important thing to talk about xx

[@TheYoungs]

❤️❤️

[@cozzed]

I had my son in 2015. I never went back to work and I rarely see another adult that isn’t my husband or my mum. But it’s weird.. I want to socialise and be around people but at the same time I feel like I don’t have the energy to be around / talk to others, if that makes sense? I’ve always loved being by myself. But always saw friends either at the pub or for dinner etc. When I had my son I ‘lost’ a lot of friends that I used to do those things with. So now I’m left with never wanting to leave the house, always turning down social events, I even hate driving anywhere now! Can’t seem to shake this phase I’m in and feeling very lonely in my home 24\7.... very excited to get out of this part of my life .. which is hard to say because my son is 2 which is so so fun and my mood is ruining it !!

[@TheYoungs]

i totally relate. You put 110% into your son so its so understandable that you feel like you don't have energy to take on other people's chat/issues. It is definitely a phase. Im sure when he's older you will appreciate how much of yourself you gave to him as it will only be such a short time in the grand scheme of things. Hope that makes sense. Anyways, i'm with you!! xx

[@cozzed]

The Youngs thanks for the reply! Yes you're right and those memories with my son are what matter most!! Sending love x x x

[@hannahlane756]

Hello Bethany, my name is Hannah, I also experience both anxiety and loneliness and have just finally spoken to someone about it. The first real time I experience loneliness was when I was in primary school as I was really badly bullied and thats where my anxiety started getting out of control. I don’t really want to bored you with my life story of anxiety and loneliness but I just want to say thank you and your family so much for filming these videos as it bring some light on a cloudy day. You are truely brave and selfless about telling your story and you have changed so many peoples lives. Thank you so very much for doing what you are doing and you are truly an angel. Would love to me you and your adorable family. Love from New Zealand

[@TheYoungs]

Hello! Hannah - you are never boring anyone by telling your story. Thank you so much for sharing it. I really hope you are able to live your life to the full and facing your anxiety head on. It does not define you! You are a hero. Lots of love xx

[@sofiarobinsson6459]

All humans are bound to feel lonely sometimes. ❤️ If not, how could we value things like family and friends the way we do? ☺️My boyfriend is in the military forces and since we live in Sweden it’s not a big thing, however, it does include that he is at work for several days and nights in a row. That is when I feel lonely. We’ve moved a couple of hours away from family and I do have my friends at uni here but I still feel lonely sometimes. I try to go to places where I know I have to talk to people and be polite, like uni but also the grocery store, out for a walk where lots of dog owners walk or just taking the bus. I feel like smiling and just uttering a simple “hello” helps. 😌 hope you feel better soon and find a way that’ll help you! Sending lots of love ❤️

[@christiannefaith20]

Hi Bethany, thanks so much for this video. Loneliness is definitely something I have felt A LOT. Especially after highschool when I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. Everyone I feel like is busy with their own lives and plans and it's hard to find that one on one connection and sense of community. Im in my early 20's, single and no kids. To me where you are in life - married, and kids is what I long to have. It goes to show though that everyone season in life has it's own challanges. I'm also like you and am naturally intreverted and find it hard to talk to new people. I would prefer a night in then a night out but at the same time get energy from my friends too. Thanks again for opening up and sharing. Much love from Canada 😊❤

[@lynnettapierce1741]

Oh sweet Bethany, you are so brave and I applaud you for putting yourself out there like this. As you can see, so many people are able to relate to this feeling of loneliness. I am in a different time of life than you. I am older and my kids are older, but still home and very much reliant on me. They are 11 and 15. I am married, and have been for 25 years, but sadly our relationship has suffered at the hand of infidelity and the trust is just not there anymore. We are amicable and live peacefully together, but it is not the marriage we once had. I have had great friendships in the past, but sadly they have all moved away. I feel like every time I "put myself out there" and get close to someone, either they do not reciprocate or I end up getting hurt. Thus, I find myself putting up walls, not allowing anyone to hurt me any more. I am 51 and lonelier than I have ever been in my life. BUT, I feel like recognizing my situation and owning it is the first step to changing it. Here's to a happier, less lonely 2018!!

[@Jordifer]

Lynnetta Pierce - I know this was a comment for Bethany but I just wanted to reach out to you and say you sound like the nicest lady. You have clearly put your family first even though you have been hurt. I really hope that you find happiness and love again in your marriage or other relationships. Sending love x

[@lynnettapierce1741]

Thank you! I don't want people to think that I feel sorry for myself. I know that God loves me and I am never truly alone. I wanted people to know that loneliness can happen in all stages of life. Be on guard. Take precautions.

[@jenfriesen3371]

Hi Bethany , so glad you did this video. It was nice to sit down after putting the kids to bed and watch your video and know that I am not alone in these feelings of anxiety and loneliness. I too get this feeling of loneliness after the kids wake up from nap around 4 pm. I started feeling guilty that I was feeling this way as I haven’t come across anyone else that has felt the same way as me...I too am working on steps to get myself more “out there” and go visit friends and family more during this time as I know it will not only help me not feel down but also it will give my kids a great time out! I have to stop worrying that I am bothering people and just go for it. As for taking care of yourself you are right it is soooo hard when you are just so lovingly consumed with your children and your husband. I did make a promise to myself this year however, that I would take better care of myself. I have started with something small but it has made a big difference in my life- creating a skin care routine that would make me feel more confident and allow me some “me time”. It’s nothing big but to me - it is something I can look forward to ie. facial masks, serums and moisturizers etc and relaxing baths after the kids are asleep. Try to find something - small or big - that will give you a little bit of “you” time because you deserve it-all of us mommies do!! 🌸

[@korinhockman]

Only 10 mins in and im crying I actually have no idea why but this is super interesting and I think I can just see how hard this wouldve been to share online

[@curlybobofelia]

Thank you for your video, I saw your InstaStories during my lunch break at work earlier on in the week and I was feeling particularly lonely that day, so to me it was fate and reassuring. There have always been periods of my life where I have experienced loneliness, in primary school, high school, university and at home but I always saw myself as independent and like you say, introverted. However, I am definitely going through more of a rough spell recently now that I live in a 1 bed flat in Aberdeen by myself & work 6 days a week at three different jobs. This means I have no time or energy to communicate with friends, leaving me pretty much in complete isolation. It's really hard but I know I still have my best friends and an amazing opportunity work wise. I agree though, it still seems like such a taboo, embarrassing topic to talk about, especially if you have family & friends. Everyone just needs to have a bit more awareness and compassion in their hearts and we should not be afraid to stick up for ourselves. Well done my dear, lots of love to your family and if you ever need someone to chat to, I'm here. :)

[@Jordifer]

When you mentioned in the vlogs that you were making a video on this topic I knew it would be an emotional video and one that I could relate to. You’re so brave to open up about so much of your private life. I didn’t realise that you suffered from anxiety and panic attacks, I do too. I just had my first baby and as much as I love him it is HARD... you are alone A LOT! I struggled so much. I found your videos when I was pregnant and I often see myself in you when I watch the vlogs; you’re a perfectionist, a planner, a stay at home mum, you’re religious, you’re a wife and so many other things! I just really relate to you and hope you continue to make videos and continue to strive to better your situation and break out of the loneliness.

[@prplem00n17]

Part of the difficulty in loneliness as a new mom is that you're also feeling like a different person. Loss of identity in parenthood is very real, which is why it's important to focus on something that reminds you of who you are and makes you feel good. Some people thrive on being alone, but being alone and feeling lonely are two separate things. You can combat the loneliness with something you love to regain who you are and enjoy that time to yourself. Taking care of yourself is essential to being a good mom and person, so take the time to focus on you once in a while. Be mindful of creating co-dependent relationships with your children and husband, though. Panic attacks and isolation can very much be a fertile ground for that to happen. Try and find one friend who "feels you Bethany identity." Someone who you can go out for a girls date with and just talk about stuff that excites your or that makes you angry. Take care of you, just you. Also, have FUN in life. Go out on date nights each week with your husband or with yourself. It took me until I was in my mid-thirties to move away from that feeling of loneliness and what helped it was being non-negotiable with my own personal identity, breaking a co-dependency tendency that I have in all my relationships, and making self-care a priority (working out and nurturing my inner child/identity). I wish you the best and hope you feel less alone today than yesterday. :)

[@xsarybeex]

I needed this video today! I've recently moved an hour away from my closest family and friends for work, and despite the excitement before and feeling determined and glad to have a shortened commute, the last few days I've felt very lonely. I know an hour is only an hour but with full time work this makes it hard to fit it all in, and messaging isn't the same. I've found your videos keep me feeling less alone in a way, so thank you for being open and honest and talking about this. I always love your videos. Much love xxx

[@TheYoungs]

❤️❤️❤️

[@soulvacation]

It only took me 2min30 to click Like. I’ve just finished this video and I think this is one of the most open, honest and thought-provoking videos I have watched in some considerable time! *Deep breath, wall of text comment approaching* I think loneliness has definitely affected me. I was really happy at uni with a strong circle of friends (I totally get how uni can make you feel lonely though, I felt very isolated in the middle of my first year, so much so I considered quitting, but luckily it changed), and then after I graduated I didn’t have that circle of friends around me and life quickly started revolving around work (my new job). I started feeling very lonely and my mental health wasn’t great. I started feeling like I had no friends and that my boyfriend was my only close friend, and that made me feel like I was weird. Now, I have changed jobs and, while I still don’t have a massive circle of friends, I have a couple more, and I interact more with my extended family (who I see as close friends) and I am also around more like-minded people at my new work, it feels friendlier. But I also totally get how easy it is to feel lonely in a room full of people. I can also relate to the fear about heart stuff, I got palpatations/ectopic heartbeats CONSTANTLY (I mean literally constantly) that I started feeling after Boxing Day 2016 and this continued for months - I went to A&E the day after and multiple trips to the GP, had a 24hr ECG, I was told it was completely normal but I couldn’t understand why it was normal if I had only just started noticing it; it was like something had changed so surely there must be an underlying cause?! In the end though after doing some research I accepted that there wasn’t anything seriously wrong with me and as soon as I stopped thinking about it, I stopped feeling them. It was September before I finally reached that point though. Maybe it’s still happening all the time, who knows, but it doesn’t bother me any more! Also loved what you said about being a natural introvert - I am exactly the same. I am currently wedding planning and feeling a lot of anxiety at the thought of contacting people (suppliers) I don’t know, making phonecalls…agh! The “not had a negative experience” comment is really reassuring though. And a big YES to social media making you feel more isolated! Basically just “word” to this entire video. Love as always x (omg this was long, sorry)

[@kerenmendez9495]

I know exactly what you mean. I'm not a mom but loneliness is something that has been a part of me ever since I can remember. It doesn't bother me. However people around me that are very social have a hard time understanding that I'm comfortable in my loneliness. And there are times when I'm home and I find myself thinking/saying " I want to go home." and I say it because something around me is out of balance, and that's when anxiety hits me and since it happens to me somewhat often, things I do help and sooth myself are praying, taking walks and talking with my sisters( which is my last resort, because even thought they are understanding, help and listen to me. I feel that I'm complaining, also don't like the fact that my emotions are going to be out.). I do try and put myself out, and like you said there are parts of me that are outgoing in certain scenarios. At times you do have to push yourself to be the first to do something to be able to get what you want. Like my mom says to me "If you don't speak up, God can't hear you."(figuratively speaking). But sometimes all I need is a hug and a movie.Thank you so much for this video!!!!!

[@FlexedJBMuscles]

I’m super glad I clicked on this. Suffering with the chest pain/heart attack symptoms but it’s just anxiety and I was super relieving to hear someone mention this so I don’t feel like I’m the only one.

[@emmariggs350]

Thank you for this. After suffering from anxiety at Uni also and now being a mum, I can totally relate to this and it's so refreshing to hear someone talking about it 💜 x

[@themcghee09]

Everything you said in this video is exactly how I feel on a day to day basis. I always feel like I'm annoying people by messaging them so I avoid it and I don't like hanging out with people on my own in case I bore them. But then I get annoyed that they don't message me and that I feel left out all the time and I can't really complain because I don't message them. Social anxiety is the worst and I wish I knew how to overcome it. But it was reassuring seeing you talk about the same issues I have and that I'm not alone in feeling this way.

[@mrnnee94]

Hi Bethany! First off, thank you so much for making this video - it’s helped me a lot knowing I’m not alone in feeling like this. Secondly, I’m a mum to an almost 4 year old little girl and also have a boyfriend. Even when I’m with them I feel lonely sometimes even though I know I shouldn’t because I’m surrounded by people who love me more than anything. I find it very difficult to make friends nevermind actually maintaining the friendships I do make... Mainly because I feel like I’m bothering people if I text them or something! So a lot of the time I wait for people to message me which I know won’t get me anywhere really. I definitely go through phases of loneliness, it’s not constant. Just wanted to say I can definitely relate to how you’re feeling. Anyway, I love watching you guys and how the kids are developing! My little girl just loves the way River speaks, her favourite thing was River putting Sudocrem everywhere then saying ‘Naughty peem’ 😂 Hope you’re having a lovely weekend so far! Love Marianne and Aoife xxx ❤️

[@kayleefebles4048]

You’re not alone in feeling this way! I’m not a mom or anything but I’m 23, and I live with my boyfriend and his family. His family is very welcoming and love me and I love all of them but not having my own space makes me feels so lonely sometimes! Sometimes it doesn’t feel like our room, but that I’m just living in his room, and it makes me feel so alone even though I’m surrounded by him and our friends and family. I think having my own space to identify with is important to me so without it, I just feel a little lost. But I love living with my boyfriend and spending all this time with him. It’s just a weird thing!

[@korinhockman]

Kaylee Febles Ive been there! He now lives with me at my house which id say is much better as we have a granny flat downstairs whereas when we were at his it was legit a bedroom and his step brother slept in the lounge room very small house I felt awkard to go toilet and do normal things when he went to work I felt I had to leave I was quite shy back then though now his family is my family but its an odd feeling and makes you really crave your own house

[@kayleefebles4048]

Korin Hockman yess!! Exactly! I had a hard time with doing simple things too, like going to the bathroom or making food in the kitchen because I was so introverted but it’s not as bad now. It’s a sucky feeling but I’m glad I’m not the only one 😅

[@IvonneJR91]

I have definitely been feeling lonely lately, although I think in a different way because I don't have kids to take care of or anything, but I find it hard to connect to other people. Even with my friends, I hardly ever talk about myself with anyone in my life because I would never want to annoy people or make them feel bad or something. So I usually keep things to myself, which I think makes me feel lonely because I don't have anyone to talk to.

[@sashalittle8825]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I completely understand and after nap time is definitely the loneliest times, after spending that hour or so on your own. I think a lot of loneliness when you have children is because you aren’t able to have your own thoughts, your not able to zone out and you can’t hear yourself think. I think a lot of the loneliness isn’t because your lonely of other company but you’re lonely of your own private company. I think we should talk about it more as it shows how much we care about our family, that we sacrifice ourselves fully to dedicate ourselves to our children. I’m only speaking about parenthood loneliness as I only experienced this since becoming a mum. All forms of loneliness should be spoken about and shared with others. Xx

[@gemmahorton7827]

Hi Bethany, love this video! It’s certainly resonates with me - I struggle to make the first move with people, and hate small talk, and then also feel like I’m annoying people by mithering them! I will write a response to someone and then delete it! 🤦🏼‍♀️ deffo need to work on this! Loneliness can be tough and anxiety can really affect the way you deal with certain situations! Thanks for sharing your experiences! Xx

[@jasminerobyns3240]

I completely understand. Ive felt large bouts of loneliness growing up, even though I was surrounded by people, as I was part of a very large family, and being the oldest of young siblings. Due to the nature of that environment it meant attention was spread thin, so I felt lonely even though I had a lot of people in my life. I've just gone through a massive life change that has made me more physically lonely as of right now, coming out of a longterm relationship, and have moved away on my own to start fresh. Due to the nature of the situation, it has left me with very little people. Its been a big scary and brave move for me, and I am proud of myself, but admittedly I am quite lonely right now. I am also naturally an introvert too, and experience the same things with communicating with people. But I am trying very hard to create opportunities to meet new people, communicate more and create new friendships. Even posting a comment is very rare for me, and felt like I should share, as loneliness is very relevant phase in my life right now. Thank you for sharing :)

[@rubyshallom9432]

Hi Bethany, I’m 17 and I’ve felt loneliness. I have multiple chronic illnesses that left me bed bound unable to walk, sit up or move my legs,head and arm. I felt so lonely because it felt like I was just watching the world go past and I was in a bubble. I lost so many friends and even family. It was horrible, now I have improved a little it’s a lot better. It does get better bu3t your not alone even when it feels like it. Well done for making this video, proud of you xxx

[@TheYoungs]

Wow Ruby! You are truly an inspiration, a fighter and complete hero. You sound like you are taking everything in your stride even when you feel at your lowest. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You have impacted me for sure xx

[@rubyshallom9432]

The Youngs aw thank you so much! I have a Instagram sharing my story if you would like to follow! It’s @chronicallyrubyy. Thank you so much for replying! Xxx

[@kat130191]

Hi Bethany, I love that you have made this video, I really relate to. I’m in a similar boat I have kids if people around me and I still feel lonely. When you mentioned about pushing yourself to ask the question or say something that is sitting on your chest, that is me. I question myself whether I should say what I want to say, or contribute to a conversation. I find myself doing the same thing over text message or email, I end up not replying and then worry that people think I’m rude. I totally get that you think you annoy people I’m the same, I know it is my own insecurity I just don’t know how to overcome it.Thank you for putting this out there and drawing attention to this. I have never commented on a video before but this resonated with me to point that I felt if Bethany can say all this then I can write a comment, so thank you!! I am defiantly going to push myself to do more to help with my loneliness. Kat x

[@TheYoungs]

Awww Kat ❤️❤️ I'm exactly the same with texts etc and end up not replying sometimes and its so frustrating. I want to but i just cant find something to say!! Thanks so much for commenting - maybe one day we'll know how to tackle it but for now its nice to know theres someone who is feeling the same! Lots of love to you xxx

[@FoodieForce]

Many people feel lonely they just don’t admit it. A brave video and a very important one. Lots of people assume that when you have children how can you be lonely but it can be very isolating, you are changing, your life has changed and the ability to do things that make you feel you has gone to an extent. The trick is to do things that take you out of your comfort zone. I did a month of saying yes and it was amazing the opportunities it opened up and made me do things I wouldn’t normally x

[@Meggo151]

Thank you for this video. ❤ I feel lonely all the time as a stay at home mom to a child who spends most of the day out of the house at school. But I definitely felt it before that too, when she was/is home. I actually wrote a blog post about my lonlieness (mixed with some other stuff) I shared it with my family and friends and was amazed at the response from everyone. Thank you again for this

[@alipero3769]

I totally understand and relate with you in this video, I have kids, do school/nursery runs, hubby work long hours, but coming home after pick ups 4pm ish is when I hit my loneliness point. I hate to put on others, think oh I could just call ..... then think no they will be busy can’t bother them. I have a group of mummy friends but always feel like I am the tagger along, even though it’s always me that has to arrange catch ups. Hearing other are going through the same helps, I am not the only one.

[@BenAndEmAdventures]

So glad you have made a video about this. It's something we struggle we constantly but videos like this make us realise it's more normal than we think.

[@rosyelizabeth801]

You’re a star - I usually find that getting completely dressed so that I can leave the house if I need to it helps a little xoxo

[@sophiefisher3340]

Social media is definitely a massive trigger for my loneliness. I work full time, live in my own and I’m not in a relationship. My new feeds just seem to fill with people in happy relationships, getting married and having babies. I feel like I’m left behind. I have friends and family around but they all seem so busy when you need them. So I don’t like to bother them anymore. Thank you for speaking about this. I always look forward to watching your videos xx

[@laurenjackson6184]

Thanks for sharing Bethany. Can resonate so well with what you're saying. I've got a 5 month old baby, plenty family and friends but feel the same as you. Admire your courage to speak about this topic so openly. This is why I like your channel 💙

[@minidoesyoutube01]

Bethany, we are all here for you if you need it. We all love you and we will pray for you and keep talking to you on social medias.

[@jenniferf5575]

Hi Bethany, I also started feeling lonely in my final year of uni as I moved in with my boyfriend who is five years older than me and we were on completely different schedules. Now that we have moved country after graduation and he has went back to uni to do a postgrad our schedules have swapped. I think I was finding it hard as I don’t have as much a network of people around me than I did before although I have made new friends here. I think the biggest thing that helped me was opening up. I bottled up how I was feeling and never told my mum who is like my best friend as I didn’t want to worry her about being in a different country. I think your totally right and being vulnerable and letting someone know how your feeling can definitely help. Thanks for making this video ❤️ x

[@TheYoungs]

Mums are definitely the toughest to open up to but the absolute best at the same time! I'm so so glad that you have found some people to spend time with and you are building a new community here. So so brave to move and set up a new life and you sound like you are bossing it!! Thank you so much for sharing and for watching the video. Lots of love to you xxx

[@gracelowery9662]

Needed this. I relate exactly to how you feel! Thank you so much for stepping out and sharing this. I definitely needed to hear this and not feel alone in feeling alone!

[@thewilsonsworld9425]

My daughter was born in January last year and I was definitely lonely whilst I was on maternity leave. I can also be intensely shy in social situations where I don’t know anyone and found it really hard to push myself and get out to classes and make mum friends etc. and if I didn’t go I had the worry that my daughter was missing out. I’m back at work full-time now which has presented a whole over set of emotions but the loneliness is definitely still there. This year I’m going to try even harder than ever to push myself out of my comfort zone. Thanks for the inspiration and thank you so much for telling your story! 💪🏻💕xx

[@vanessaasyere7805]

Thank you for sharing. It’s a relief feeling less alone. I don’t know why I feel like me being lonely will push people away even tho literally When feeling loneliness It’s the last thing I want. I feel less alone 💛thank yous Im pregnant for the first time and alone and a lot and just wish I could be held every day 😔 between it literally feeling painful in my body from feeling lonely to hormones makin me cry for hours I just I have never felt so lonely. I’m trying to learn how to cope I’ve never felt these ways before and also learn it’s ok I feel this way. I just feel crazy lately. 💙😣

[@MissRachelsSex]

Love this video ❤️ you are so right about after nap time, after 3-4 I'm just waiting for my other half to get home it's the lonliest time of the day. You definitely aren't alone I think most mums feel it ❤️

[@rachelblades4323]

Bethany I get lonely very often. My best friend / fiancé works away from home and I find that so hard to be away from him and go into where I call 'the dark place' (in my mind). I suffer from anxiety too and it's just awful. Thank you so much for talking about your experience. You are an inspiration to me x

[@clairmacdonald3775]

Hi! Thank you for answering my question, I loved this! It honestly sounded like you were describing me when you were talking about you! The video has given me another push to be the conversation starter and get out of the situation and not feel like someone is going to wave a magic wand and get me out of it. It's so helpful to hear these things even if I know them already, it makes it hit home even more and gives me the motivation to push myself into maybe an uncomfortable situation. At the end of the day though if I don't go into these situations then nothing is going to change. Love the topics that seem awkward or controversial because that's what is going to help and change people most! Keep going you're doing so well!

[@jenhunt_]

I know how you feel. Recently I lost my job and my anxiety has got 10x worse. I’m far away from my family as moved away and I’m in that little bubble with my boyfriend. It’s hard to meet new people. I feel lonely because he works and I’m far away from my family doesn’t always help as we’ve always been so close. It’s horrible feeling lonely💗

[@carolinelvsewe]

Bethany,, I know what you mean, First is truly being lonely for a former part of your life. Second, I have always gone on Monday nights to coffee with girlfriends. Its changes my week! Also as a person of faith, I feel more guilty not overcoming it. The Psalms of ascent are great.It is a reality for most in some way. Great subject.

[@Jen-dm7tl]

I know the feeling. I’m 26 and at uni for the second time. I’m not a very sociable person so it was hard in my first year but currently in my final year and living with my boyfriend who I met the day I moved in on the first day and we clicked straight away. But I still feel lonely even though he’s here constantly. When I’m back home I don’t feel lonely because I have my dogs and cats and the house is never empty, but here I’m so far away from my family and friends i feel it. I’m trying so hard to find a job regarding my course but no one will hire me which means I just have nothing to do and no one see all the time. So having all my uni work to do and having no money and no family around is really getting me down. Thank you for the video Xx

[@itsemxoxo]

Thank you so much for this video Bethany, very brave of you! ❤️ so reassuring to know that other people feel this way too! Loneliness is a huge part of my life, especially when my siblings are at school and my dads a work - a empty house everyday really effects me. Not having anybody to speak to for the whole day can really mess you up! 💔 then it's always in the back of your mind that it's your fault that no-one wants to know you, or speak to you and you start to think what you're doing wrong. Anxiety and ptsd are forever stopping me from leaving the house alone 💔 such an amazing video, again, thank you so much for this! Love you ❤️

[@FessJarmer]

I've felt exactly the same recently. I've recently started blogging/vlogging full-time, so I spend a lot of time at home on my own as my husband works during the day. As much as I have lots of things to do, I often notice how lonely I am too, especially since the house is so empty (apart from the cat!) my antidote is to keep busy, listen to music or watch KZbin, until my husband gets home. I know that feeling though! I know how social media is often quite draining but I've found Twitter a great help to keep loneliness away as I've made so many great friends from it. I agree though, it's a difficult thing that can only be cured by yourself and will come and go throughout life. The important thing is to remember that you are loved. xx

[@TheYoungs]

Yup for sure! I'm with you! Good on you for vlogging full time! Thank you and thank you for watching ❤️❤️

[@FessJarmer]

Thank you! :) Loving your videos by the way! x

[@RoseParkerRoseofashton]

Hiya Bethany I really loved this video as to know that somebody else has felt the way I feel I too suffer with panic attack’s they can in themselves make you feel that your on your own so I love that you’ve opened up and shared how you feel love your family thanks for sharing Rose xx

[@AshleyJade18]

Loneliness for me - I am sooo happy to be alone, i LOVE it.. (as long as i have a dog in my life, i am happy to be alone) BUT i feel soo lonely in public situations... I can feel so bored and lonely at a party even though i am chatting and being social. i've always found it strange but it's just me.

[@lizziemack1913]

I love that you've put yourself out there and made this video Bethany! I definitely understand the feeling of being lonely even though you have plenty of people around you! I'm at uni and I live with housemates but my boyfriend is 6 years older and Is in full time work, I'm at uni and have a part-time work in the evenings, I find it so hard to fit in time with him and my friends, but also I like to have time to myself too!! It's nice to know you're not the only one who feels like that! Xx

[@TheYoungs]

And remembering its only for a season! Hope you are enjoying uni as much as you can! It will be worth it! Lots of love xx

[@LittleMissDizzy19]

Yeah I'm definitely enjoying it but ready to move out of living with students too! Last term to go its gonna be a stressful one I'm sure! Thank you! Lots of love to all of you! Xx

[@Hannah-ss4pu]

Bethany, have you thought about setting up a discord? Its an application where you have a sorta constant chat room and everybody whos joined in the room can all chat with each other. Me and a few people I know all suffer massively from loneliness and we're all in different corners of the world, and we use this to just chat with each other when we have a spare moment, sometimes even just to vent. May be a bit far-fetched, but judging by the comments, a lot of us feel the same way. Thank you for also talking about something so important and making me feel less alone as I know im not the only one.

[@nicolamarshall8645]

Thank you for sharing Bethany! I don't have kids but I had sort of had a similar experience at university, I felt very removed from the lifestyle and everything going on me, but I don't know if I regret it or not... I am a person who enjoys being alone sometimes or with people who know me really well - making new friends is quite difficult. I'm anticipating some loneliness coming my way this year as I am moving to a different city where I don't know anyone, to do more study - I'm telling myself I will be a lot more involved this time but I'm just very nervous about the whole thing 😅

[@staystronglovatic4757]

Hey Bethany. I'm 24 this year and have a 7 month old called Hugo with my partner David. When I was 6 months pregnant I moved to Blackpool to be with my partner and start our family. As I was from the other side of the country i found it difficult. I left my family and friends behind. The only two people I know here is my partner and his mum. Since I moved I have developed social anxiety. Since having my son I have been taking baby steps into going to our local children centre and doing baby stay and play groups. I've found this has helped me socialise with other mums and dads. Not to mention Hugo is so adorable when he socialises with other babies. So benefits him too. I don't know if i'll make friends but it's slowly helping with the loneliness. Xx

[@jenNifer-vd4eq]

Hi Bethany.. I have two children the same age as yours and I feel exact the same. Just not been able to go out the house when you want, friends/family working whilst I'm on maternity leave and just the constant thought of when my husband gets home from work. But I adore my children and I'm fine other wise..but loneliness.... 😪

[@littletucketts]

Straight away, I feel inclined to say that I think I struggle to admit my loneliness these days because people (without kids) might be thinking ‘but how can you be? You’re always with the kids...’. For me, my loneliness stems from lack of adult (moreso girlfriends) conversation. I am constantly getting cancelled on and more upsetting, no one contacts me to hang out. I appreciated you sharing your experiences with loneliness. The anxiety is terrible hey? That’s scary that you had anxiety, loneliness and the distance to the hospital. I’m really thankful you have this platform to share your thoughts and spread awareness of this. You really hit the nail on the head with parenting loneliness. The thing is - loneliness is different for everyone. People have certain needs and quotas. Just want to also say, I’m always here for you, no judgements. Ok, time to finish the rest of the video...

[@littletucketts]

I am very similar with personality - not helping myself. I can be so outgoing in some instances but I’ll always choose just byron & me at home (usually on the couch)

[@kylies1958]

First time watching one of your videos, your voice is so nice and soothing!

[@TheYoungs]

haha! Thank you!

[@thescoffaholic8469]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I feel the same a huge amount of the time. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone. I can't admit it to anyone :( xxx

[@amyr876]

I've had a few times in my life where I've felt lonely predominantly because of feeling 'other' or of not fitting in - like at school and uni, where for big chunks of that I felt like people didn't really get me. At the moment the main reason that I feel lonely so much of the time is because I spend so much of my time on my own - I'm disabled, and my chronic illness and pain mean that I'm really limited in what I can do. I don't drive [though my Mom is organising me some lessons as a 30th birthday present!!] and can't do things like just hop on a bus into town to meet people when I want to. I have some awesome friends who mean so much to me - but they have children or full-time jobs, or both, or live really far away, and I don't see them very often. My husband is amazing, but he's my carer and works full time - which means that I'm alone for most of the week. But the other part of the loneliness, which I feel for me is the worst part, is the way I don't feel like myself anymore. Since my illness started negatively affecting my life [back when I was 21] I have changed a lot - there's so much that I can't do now that felt like a big part of me beforehand. Things changing like how now I have to rely on people to do basic things for me and I can't return the favour because of pain and exhaustion, whereas before I got so much out of helping other people. I find it hard to talk about because I don't want it to sound like I just moan all the time, when really I do try hard to remember everything I am so lucky to have. But I'm trying to be more open about it, and I also try to keep myself busy [with reading, crochet, learning German, stuff like that]. Argh, sorry this comment is so long I've just rambled on and on, but you're so open and friendly that I felt like I could say this stuff!

[@korinhockman]

I have a friend I always thought she had great friends and she had her 21st recently and I went and saw the instagram side of it from the other side and I realised its all fake her friends arent people I would enjoy being friends with they all strategically plan what to post and thats why ive always felt left out now when I see her posts im no longer bothered whats so ever

[@korinhockman]

Even at this party I tried making friends with her friends then there was a point they all went back to their cliques and chatted and i awkwardly sat and tears emerged heavy in my eyes (so not crying if that made sense) and I guess this is supposedly the lonely feeling in that moment I felt so out of place and wished my partner joined he doesnt come as he knows he wouldnt enjoy it I just felt weird how my best friend could be friends with so many people I dont connect with at all

[@keriholic4138]

Thank you for doing this video honestly tears down my face as it’s exactly how I am feeling my daughter same age is river and I am finding her age hard and I don’t have friends who are mums so have no1 to ask hey are you going through this aswell as they don’t understand

[@MrsGraceYoung]

❤️ love this! Well done for sharing XXX

[@eloisaxx1115]

I love you guys. You are amazing ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕💕💕💕

[@TheYoungs]

Hello!! ❤️❤️

[@eloisaxx1115]

Omg Thanks for the reply

[@shannoncampbell9735]

I found that ever since I left school and my friends and I all went on different life journeys with uni etc, I've found that I have felt more lonely. Feeling like I don't have any friends even though I know I do. I would say that my boyfriend is my real true friend and I would say that I do only have like 2/3 real life friendship that I know will support me through everything!! I have also found that over the last few years when I have lost my nanny and my dad who were two very special people in my life, that I feel more lonely than ever before as they were the ones that I always spoke to about everything and spent a lot of time with and now their not here I have found it very hard to come to terms with 🙁 You should be so proud of yourself for speaking about this, it's a tricky topic to tackle 😘❤️

[@korinhockman]

Loved this I hope you do more videos in this style if you have any topics

[@korinhockman]

Yknow what! I just finished 500 hrs of placement for social work at this behavioural school and I suppose thats why I hated it I hated being viewed at like one of the kids im 21 but always have felt way older but look 16 and I suppose I think I get the feeling youre talking about I feel different then most but I also like being alone so its strange

[@korinhockman]

I have a problem with writing multiple comments so just gunna reply to my own you really helped me find something about myself that my shitty supervisor in a counselling field couldnt help me with in over 3 months

[@kelllli]

it must have taken a lot of guts to make this video! I have depression, anxiety and social anxiety, I also have panic attacks sometimes and all of these things make me isolate myself so I feel lonely quite a lot. I can’t even remember the last time that I hung out with friends, or even had a phone call with a friend because of it and I’m scared to push myself because I’m scared of having a panic attack and embarrassing myself. Some of the things you’ve said sounds like a bit of social anxiety. If you ever want to speak to somebody whilst you wait for daniel to get home you can dm me on instagram (@mcflyys) because I do nothing from 12pm 6 days a week haha! I completely understand where you’re coming from when you say that what you do makes you lonely because if you work in a workplace you have others around you, but if you work from home it’s just you and how having kids around doesn’t help because you can’t really speak to kids in the same way you can speak to an adult. Here anytime if you fancy a chat. Xx

[@elizabethhill3378]

Check out Holly Matthews on here, I think you might find her “are you feeling lost?” video useful. For Mum’s it’s almost a follow on. I resonate with so much of the content of the video, especially the part on so many people around... I think you are right personality has a massive impact on whether people feel loneliness 😬 you should set up a daily or monthly challenge for your community on IG or Twitter to try combatting loneliness...maybe? 🤔

[@TheYoungs]

Ohh i will check her out, thank you! Im glad this video resonates with you. :) I might think challenges too - very good idea! xx

[@AlabamaMarrs]

Ps a good way to distract you from feeling lonely is to have a burglar in your house 🤣🤣

[@eloisaxx1115]

First

[@oliviagarrity1791]

i love you guys soooo much!! i would love to be able to meet your family one day! love from australia! xoxoxoox

[@TheYoungs]

+Olivia May awww we would love that! Lots of love to you ❤️❤️

[@oliviagarrity1791]

also i hope you are okay and just know that you will be able to move forward and get through this tough time xxx