I DISAPPEARED! Fertility Issues. UTIs. Anxiety & TMI

[@shannonperez3779]

Susie, a lot of us found you because of the CGM but most of us stuck around because your personality is so amazing. I am so sorry you’ve been going through a rough patch but we are all rooting for you. Wishing you all the best💗

[@aileenfernandez7848]

Ditto!! All of this! Susie, you are great. Your personality is what kept me here.

[@elizabethhamrick3184]

I love your openness and honesty. You don't owe any of us an explanation about your absence but we are sure glad to hear from you. And thank you for letting us into your life.

[@veridianroots]

Well said

[@lisaf335]

Spot on ...I was going to mention that as well.

[@kr4574]

Agree!

[@lauramichelle3547]

Dear sweet Susie- my heart goes out to you. I will pray for you and your hubby and the little one that you are carrying. Please be gentle with yourself. I hope sharing all this was helpful for you. It was received with love and great compassion for all you have been dealing with. ♥️

[@kdwalters4146]

Being a nurse I understand trying not to go too detailed for folks around me.... but girl-- don’t sweat it....you gave a disclosure...lol. I am so sorry you have been going down this pathway...... so crazy...... prayers for things to get resolved and for you to have comfort.....

[@theintrinsiccounsellor]

I understand what you are going through. I always use to say I was “cautiously optimistic” due to my miscarriages. Your body has been through trauma. Be kind to yourself. Your You Tube Family will be here. Sending you love and light.

[@LucianaVIP1]

What I really want is to leave a very long comment, but in order not to bother you, I'll just say that videos like this help a lot of people, and have you got any idea how wonderful and amazing you are? I'm sure all of us here wish we could give you a tight hug and make sure everything is going to be fine. We are here for you👼🏻💕

[@alyssagomez2878]

I admire you for always being so open and honest. I hope you start feeling better soon and everything goes smoothly for you.

[@alex-6313]

So happy to see your face again. I figured this is why you were away 😟 I will continue to pray for you, Susie. ❤️❤️

[@lynnekraszewski4971]

You may be experiencing anxiety, but listening to you is so calming. You have such a soothing voice (and I love your accent) I could listen to you read the phone book. lol I’ll be praying for you that all continues to go well, and this is your take home rainbow baby. Stay strong and know that we’re all here for you.

[@terriiii8785]

I understand. I have had 10 miscarriages. I do have 5 kids. Two of my daughter's struggle also. Thank you for your honesty.

[@aharper4]

Congratulations! I know how scary it can be! Hopefully you can find coping skills for your anxiety..like grounding! Also Unisome and B6 helped me for morning sickness! Thinking of you. All the positive thoughts headed your way!

[@karensang1]

Unisom and B6 worked like magic for me!

[@patriciarafter3h]

I am so glad that you are back! I am sending prayers and hugs. Take care of you and the fam. Again, your TMI is so HELPFUL to so many. 💖

[@1120Quinn]

This is going to be the one girl!! You can get through this nasty nausea and have an amazing child!!

[@Bethmarie44]

Oh Susie.... The journey to my son was so extremely similarly to this. 2 miscarriages around 11 weeks, baby passed at 7-10 weeks and then a chemical pregnancy. With each pregnancy I experienced strange urinary symptoms and the “google search” lead me to interstitial cystitis as well. I had the same response as you, “I need a break to get my mind and body back together.” 5 months later I woke up and could smell the eggs my husband had cooked before work and knew. Positive test. And just as you said, it wasn’t exciting. I cried and cried thinking “here we go again”. Didn’t feel confident until the 20 week scan. My son is 1 1/2 now and the greatest gift. I was also a serial tester. 😒 multiple a day held up in the window straining to see a line. It is absolutely unhealthy and ridiculous to even admit. You are doing amazing and I’m so glad you shared! We are going to embark on this journey again soon and I’m telling myself already to just keep calm. I am also an RN with almost identical curls as yours. Are we secretly sisters??? Can’t wait to follow your pregnancy!

[@PahlaB]

Oh my goodness!! What a time you’ve been through!! I don’t think there’s anything that’s TMI, women need to hear this kind of stuff. Sending you so much love and good wishes for a happy healthy pregnancy. 💛

[@kmr9061]

Thank you for the gift of documenting and sharing your personal journey. May you find peace and healing, as your important story inspires others.

[@HelloKatie85]

Aww! You’re so brave for talking about some hard things! I wish you the best of health! So glad you are doing better!

[@jodi2251]

Thank you for being so open and honest. You’re probably helping so many people. I hope everything works out for you and your family. Thank you again for sharing your story. Love from a fellow Canadian. 💜💜💙💙

[@janelleyharris5042]

I'm a fellow nurse, South of you in the U.S. I'm praying for you and your pregnancy, may Christ protect you. Thank you for this update about your health. God bless you

[@lowcountryhooper]

I’ve never been pregnant, but flat ginger ale got me through chemo nausea. My friend’s interstitial cystitis went away when she got pregnant and didn’t come back. I’m praying for a healthy pregnancy and easy delivery for you.

[@patriciamoldovan3092]

Oh my gosh - wow!!! I am another one who was addicted to taking pregnancy tests!!! Thanks SO much for sharing this. I got married late in life at age 36..... had several miscarriages, went through fertility tx (clomid, IUI & IVF 2x). I got breast cancer at age 44) I could swear the hormones in the fertility tx played a role in my breast cancer. Still took pregnancy tests over the years following....... 😩At age 50 we adopted a 5 y.o. child from my husbands homeland (Romania). He is the best thing that ever happened to us! I do understand exactly what it feels like. I think you will be fine. The pregnancy tests companies are making tons of money & creating anxiety in a lot of women who want SO much to have a child. I appreciate so much you taking the time to share these details - it’s important to others as well as it helps you to keep moving forward! Take care of yourself - you are an amazing person and I know you’re going to be just fine! ☺️🙏

[@Emilovesyouuuu]

I want to say, I admire your realness. One thing I wanted to share was tips for anxiety. I have pretty severe social anxiety (which is difficult since I work at a public library!) One thing that has really helped me is something called the 54321 method. 5 things you can see (try to be specific like 5 striped shirts or 5 blue things, etc) 4 things you can touch (again specific, 4 corners, 4 smooth things, etc) 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. I find that this practice forces me to stop my thought pattern and it distracts from the anxiety. Also other DBT practices!

[@04beni04]

From another librarian with anxiety issues ... I don't know if it's just that we strive for organization as a breed, LOL, but this really does work. Sometimes I lose track and just the act of trying to remember where I was in the counting is enough to snap me out of the spiral.

[@Emilovesyouuuu]

@@04beni04 I completely agree! The counting really needs focus and causes my anxious thoughts to totally derail allowing me to regain a bit of control! Yay for a fellow perfectionist librarian!

[@sharonchancey5028]

Sweetie, I go into as much detail about anything u want to. Ur loved here. I’m so sorry about ur losses. I know personally how much that hurts. I’ll b praying for u a healthy pregnancy

[@TheOGJennyC]

Suzy...wow thanks for sharing. I endured 17 years of infertility until we began fostering and eventually adopted our 2 daughters. I always counted myself blessed that we never got PG at all. I wouldn't have been able to bear a miscarriage. But one thing I learned along the way... that pregnancy loss is horrific, and that wanting a baby and not having one is awful, whether or not you have other children. God bless you, Dear One.

[@RobbieMcD]

Love you, Susie. I'm sending you good vibes from Montreal. You got me started on my curly hair journey in September of last year. I didn't know I had curly hair before you, I thought my hair was just pouffy and dry. You deserve so much happiness!

[@sarahbaumeister9210]

Missed you!! Been thinking about you. I have had 2 miscarriages this year and you have helped me cope and know I'm not alone!

[@carissag99]

Girl, you are not alone. It's so hard after having losses to be comfortable while pregnant. I will send up some great vibes and thoughts for you and your family. Take care!

[@justsandy5062]

I've dealt with infertility issues and I understand your anxiety and apprehension when you see that second blue line. It took 9 years and 4 miscarriages that I knew of to have my first baby via IVF at age 35. I miraculously became pregnant with my second the same month I stopped breastfeeding my daughter and was a nervous wreck until about 14 weeks then calmed down some. I had my son 6 days ago and am over the moon. My advice is to try and enjoy every moment because as you know life is precious. I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU, CONGRATS MOMMA!

[@bedour1977]

The 'minute 15' made me cry ..really..I have had a miscarriage once, and after that I lost one of my twins during pregnancy..I was also throwing up everyday, even water didn't stay in my stomach!! I also had this phase of pizza and potatoes everyday during the pregnancy (now I have a beautiful baby girl) ..so I feel you, and I know that the fear never goes away till you actually have the baby in your arms.. take good care of yourself and thank you so much for sharing all your feelings...you are an amazing Vlogger and also an honest human being ..I truly wish you all the best Susie xx I really do..

[@prairiejenn494]

Wow!!!! This was like retelling my own tale! Slightly different order. I was diagnosed with interstitial cystitis years ago before my first pregnancy. My first pregnancy was twins and went off without a hitch. We followed that over the next 3 years with 3 heartbreaking miscarriages all between the 7 and 13 week marks back to back. A while later I too took a pregnancy test by chance thinking if I was pregnant it was literally gonna be 4 weeks. Turns out I was 9 weeks, and my rainbow finally arrived and turned 2 in April. I was so anxious my whole pregnancy. And from 12 weeks on obsessively checked my way home doppler for a heartbeat 2 times a day. I would strongly suggest reaching out to any loss support group. In Saskatchewan we have a group called empty arms for pregnancy and infant loss and they helped my anxiety immensely through the pregnancy. I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your little bean. Xo

[@dustijensen7389]

I totally feel for you! My husband and I have been trying to have children for the entire 10 years we have been married so I know the rollercoaster of being constantly "cautiously optimistic". We had to do fertility treatments and after hundreds of thousands of dollars, one miscarriage, one stillbirth, one baby who passed away at 5 days old, one micro preemie (born at 24 weeks), one healthy pregnancy with a surrogate, and more disappointing months than i can count, we have finally come to the end of our road and have 2 beautiful boys. We just recently tried our last time and had another failed attempt. I know all the emotions all too well. Praying for you and a healthy pregnancy! I know it's so hard to get excited but know that we are all excited for you and hoping for all good things!

[@ginaschnathorst1674]

You are so real and so relatable. That is what makes you so likable and you are very brave for sharing your journey and all of it ups and downs. Keep the faith Susie!!! You have a very large extended family and we are ALL pulling for you!! 💕

[@marialaurettaryan6934]

Welcome back! Thanks for the update. Keeping you in my prayers for a healthy pregnancy and that your nausea goes away soon. You look great and hopefully your anxiety will subside. 🙏🌷💕

[@rebeccaherangel]

I'm sending you so many hugs! It takes so much to be this open about a real life problem. I hope the best for you.

[@callmeaftercoffee]

Oh Susie! Praying for a healthy baby. I'm so sorry you've been having such a rough go 💕. Sending lots of love and hope you have smoother sailing from here on out!

[@Dina-kf2ls]

Your sister nurses are here for you girl! As nurses we see all the worst case scenarios and it's so easy to assume the worst health wise. I'm so sorry for what have have suffered and am so happy and hopeful that life is in the upswing for you and your family! You can always share with us! Hugs to ya curly girl!

[@Ruby-gg7tl]

I found you recently b/c of the curly girl method but as a fertility nurse practitioner in the States I just have to say I so appreciate your open, honest, and thoughtful discussion on fertility issues and miscarriage. Thank you for sharing! It is so so helpful to others who have/are going through similar journeys

[@Veronica.Roni.V]

Susie your willingness to be open with others is really helping some women going through the same things. I am WAY past children years and sadly never had any but I do know about UTI, bladder and kidney infections. I've had them on and off since I was 8. They are the most painful thing I've ever dealt with. My heart just hurt for you talking about it because i can so relate. I also battle yeast infections so it's almost a constant cycle. Congrats on the being pregnant again and I'm believing this one is THE perfect one for yall. Thank you!! 😘

[@peggyw172]

My sympathies for all you’re going through. Bless your heart. Praying for your health. My heart goes out to you. I can relate to your miscarriage experiences. Been there. 💙 We stopped trying and I think for my health it’s for the best because you’re right the testing and the ups and downs are not good for anybody. God Bless 🙏

[@Kristina2]

Going through the comments, it seems that most people are like me - I am not here for hair videos. I came for the hair, I stayed because of you and your personality, the good, the bad, and everything in between. Please do not feel pressured to make hair videos. Feel free to talk about anything you want. I can totally see you venturing into vlogs, family videos, personal female videos, etc and taking your channel in a new direction!

[@emmamacgregor731]

OH man, Susie...what a roller coaster! SO happy to see your sweet face, but very sorry to hear of all the turmoil and trauma your body and spirit have been through!! I pray that all will soon be well and that you will thrive. Thank you for sharing yourself and your story. You are helping more people than you can know. Know that you are surrounded by support here on YT. Sending love from Ontario.

[@emmae8255]

I am so sorry you’ve been through so much, I cannot even imagine. I had chronic bladder infections several years ago that eventually lead to a kidney infection that put me in the hospital. My urologist and other specialists never figured out what caused them, and I eventually was okay. I know how painful it was for you because I had similar issues during that time. Don’t worry about being TMI- your information could help someone! I’m glad you’re back, and I hope everything continues to get better for you!

[@jenniferbeckley3613]

I hope you realize how many people you are helping by sharing your story and how much of a difference sharing actual details makes in forwarding medical care for women. My mom is a nurse so I never had an aversion to TMI conversations but I watched so many friends avoid doctors because they didn't want to talk about "embarrassing" things about their bodies. Or worse, didn't know what was normal and what was potentially dangerous. Crossing my fingers for your wonderful family.

[@monikasethi9562]

I am also 36. Been married almost 7 years now. Have been trying since forever. 8 IVF cycles. I saw your miscarriage video and I cried coz I had just aborted the only pregnancy I had achieved during my treatment as the foetus' heartbeat stopped. I am a fighter and I am still fighting. When I saw your pregnancy update recently I was so happy for you. I felt hope that I can also get success. May god bless you and your beautiful family.

[@Drmorganaurora]

No worries about tmi. I am sending you positive and healing energy. We’ve missed you.

[@beccaschlomann7592]

My heart goes out to you. The miscarriages are hard enough, the health issues are hard enough, and both together are really really difficult. I had a couple miscarriages after my first child and i can so relate to so many things you said you’ve felt. It’s so hard to get excited but you also don’t want to be pessimistic either. It’s not a situation that’s easy to understand if you haven’t been through it. I wish you the best and hope for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. ❤️❤️ ETA: I also was like obsessed with getting pregnant after my miscarriages. I guess I thought if I got pregnant than it would heal my heartbreak over the miscarriages but instead it just made me obsessed and then when I’d miscarry again, it was even worse. Then I had a fairly quick miscarriage/chemical pregnancy and I also felt like I needed to take a break and heal bc I was obviously not healthy and this cycle was not good for me. Ironically, then I did get pregnant unintentionally and had my second child. But the whole pregnancy was terrifying. I don’t know if Susie will see this but if it helps anyone else to sees it and it helps them not feel alone and helps them know these are normal feelings and more common than we realize, then I’m glad I shared. There is still so much mystery and secrecy around miscarriage and how it affects women and I hope that continues to change and that we can be open about how we feel and support each other.

[@JessicaTown826]

Girl...first of all, what a ridiculously tough year and second, CONGRATULATIONS! I'm almost 10 weeks and this has been BY FAR my worst pregnancy. I was on a pretty healthy low(ish) carb diet and ever since I got pregnant I've been eating garlic butter toast and bean burritos CONSTANTLY. I'm not proud of it and I'm gaining weight like crazy but they're pretty much the only thing I can stomach so I was just nodding my head the entire you were talking about those pizza pockets!

[@nsand123]

Oh Susie! I just want to give you a big hug. I started watching you for the curly hair videos, but I do love to hear about all the life things you share with your fans. Congratulations! Thanks for being such an open and honest person. I'm sure there are many out here hoping and praying for you and wish you nothing but the best. So glad to see you back on youtube. Take care!

[@Its_me--Boo_Radley]

Whew! Susie! So much happening. I'm sending you a virtual hug. Just do whatever you need to do to make yourself happy and healthy. If KZbin videos make you happy then we will be delighted to watch them--but if it causes too much stress--don't think twice about taking breaks. Hoping things go smoothly with this pregnancy and that the nausea stops soon. ❤️

[@crownroyalchic]

Congratulations and by no means should you feel that you should apologize to anyone for lack of videos!!!! Your health, your family and stress level should be your number one priority! Take it easy and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can while being sick and take all the pregnancy tests you want as long as you find some comfort in it! Love to you and your family!

[@KELLSEY444]

So I went looking for you yesterday and saw your water balloon post, figured you had gotten busy with life and work. You said you felt like you owed us an explanation for your absence but while it is greatly appreciated, there is no debt. This process we call life gets complicated, and you have a wonderful way of expressing your beautiful humanness. I hope you get comfortable again with this new phase of being. I always hold you in positive thoughts. I just adore you and your personality. I'm so glad you got things figured out, there is nothing worse than stressing about stress. I hope you feel better and better, I love your helpful videos whenever they show up!

[@Larea81]

You have been through a lot emotionally and physically. My heart goes out to you. I sincerely hope that things go smoother for you in the coming weeks. 💛

[@mezyfuller3234]

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. You’re brave for sharing your journey. Your followers are supporting you! Sending love from Australia 💜

[@SocialBurrito3]

Sweet Lady, I am so glad this is behind you, I am so sorry you had to endure the heartaches and discomfort. I have been praying for you and the babe for weeks, glad when I watched this I knew you were already passed your 20 week mark! Congratulations!

[@lauralynn4504]

Susie, your strength is apparent and contagious. Thank you for doing this hard thing. My heart is fully, not hesitantly happy about the baby. ❤️

[@lydiacolunga5443]

So glad you updated us! I have been worried for you, I miscarried right after you did the first time, you helped me know what to expect. I could tell you have been extremely exhausted from another pregnancy as soon as I started this video. Praying for you and your baby to stay healthy!

[@radiant2012]

I want to just say, we are all in this together. We all struggle with difficulties, and you sharing your thoughts 💭 here actually helps. I don’t have pregnancy issues, my issues are heart related (cardiovascular disease) I just received my second stent last Tuesday. I am only 57, and very emotional about what I am dealing with. I can relate. Keep your chin up and take one day at a time. It’s all good. Peace... ☮️ Love.... ❤️ and light... 🌀

[@chickadybrandyd]

This is going to sound so silly compared to all you've been through. I was ready to give up on having curly hair, then I watched this and decided if you can keep going with pregnancy I can keep trying with my hair. When you showed all the pregnancy tests it actually got to me for you. I am happy for you, soo happy to see you're back on youtube!

[@nicoleirving5882]

I was POAS addict! Though I bought the online cheapies and it does save a bit of money. We had difficulties getting pregnant and had to have IUIs to get our 2 girls. I had a miscarriage and an ectopic before having our 1st. I was 35 when we finally got pregnant. I understand your plight. I found a great bunch of ladies on a pregnancy chat, we broke off into our own private group and it was a lot of help to talk to them. So please continue to vlog about it all, it does feel better to talk it out!

[@allisonguyton296]

No worries about TMI, sometimes you just have to get it out. I pray for some peace and health for you!

[@rachelwarby3344]

Thank you for being so open and honest. I wish you all the best with your pregnancy, physical health, mental health- all of it. I love your videos and constant encouragement and honesty and absolutely feel for you and all you’ve been through with your health. For those of us out there who have had fertility issues or have been painted grim pictures of fertility by doctors- I think this openness and honesty is very uniting and I want to thank you for sharing your story. All the best xx from Australia

[@d6h597]

Dear Susie, I admire your honesty, your way of telling what is going on with you. I learn so much from you. Expressing what I feel is something difficult for me. When I see how you so "easily" tell, what you feel mentally and emotionally makes me courageous. Thank you so much for sharing. I wish you strength, love and please stay the way you are. You're an angel. 👼🏻

[@janetsplanet2947]

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Take a deep breath and try to enjoy being happy. I am 50 and a mom to an only child. I had my daughter when I was 29. She was an unexpected preemie and that scared me from wanting to have more children. Anyway I'm so glad that I could give her every ounce of love I have. I'm sure you will be a terrific mom to however many children you have. 🌈

[@lisacrochets]

Thank you for sharing. The TMI is actually really helpful when women's health is so seldom talked about and so poorly understood. I hope all goes well with this pregnancy and that you get back to feeling like yourself soon.

[@justbreathe5538]

Thanks for sharing. I’m a music therapist who works in perinatal and postnatal depression and anxiety and need more people to talk about it. This kind of video does so much more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for your honesty. PS: I also found you for the CGM, but continued to watch cause you help me miss home a little less (grew up in Sydney River and miss the accent so much here in ON). ❤️ home for the RHS 20 year reunion in August and cannot wait to hear all the Capers! #homeofmyheart

[@catwmn14]

I am so sorry for your losses and the health issues you’ve been dealing with! UTIs and EXCRUTIATING. I also had a miscarriage in March and have been trying ever since to get pregnant, so I really really feel your pain and I laughed so much when you said the peeing on sticks was insanity!! I still pee on a stick like every day, but I bought a 25 pack of the super sensitive but cheap ones off amazon so I don’t bankrupt us 😬 I really hope you continue to feel better and that this little babe grows and grows. You’ve quickly become one of my favorite youtubers so I’m super excited for pregnancy videos :)

[@rpark5605]

Congrats on your pregnancy. I wish you all the best. I am also a nurse so TMI is the norm for me too. My first pregnancy ended in stillbirth at 39 weeks, so I completely relate to pregnancy anxiety. For my next pregnancy I did hypnobirthing and the daily meditation practice really helped me cope. I went on to have 2 more children after my first and it was worth every anxious moment.

[@melissaandrews1603]

It does happen to more of us than most people think! I’ve had a tubal pregnancy, and my step-daughter has has 2 miscarriages, also. It’s common, but so devastating to the individual and close family members. Praying for you!

[@barbaracatalano6299]

Huge hugs!! Girl you are awesome to share everything with us. We will be here when you post. No worries.

[@rvagal2106]

Susie, bless your heart, such a raw and honest story. Like many I’ve been concerned for you, and glad that things have become more stable. Don’t concern yourself with, TMI. You gave a notice at the start of the vid, so folks who continued knew what to expect. Most importantly, just take care of you. There’s no right or wrong way to cope with prior pregnancy losses and subsequent pregnancy. You do what works for you.

[@pompompolished3512]

Im a nurse/nurse practitioner so nothing you say is going to gross me out or turn me away. I said a special prayer for God to deliver to you a happy, heathy, 2nd child :). Thinking of you!

[@rachelmetcalf881]

Susie, so glad that you're back and that you're pregnant. We lost a baby last year at 17 weeks. It was our fourth and very traumatic and sad going through the delivery. 5 weeks later we were surprised to find out I was pregnant again and almost immediately lost that one. Since then we have hoped to get pregnant again and only recently gotten pregnant. I'm also 10 weeks... and I definitely understand the feeling of wanting to be positive, but just not feeling like I should go ahead and start planning a nursery. Saying a prayer for you now and your little one you're carrying. Also, you can buy super cheap pregnancy tests on Amazon, like 20 cents a piece if you buy like 20 at a time. Just saying, in case you can't break your addiction, at least you can save your money. I can't believe those tests are $20 where you live! I thought they were pricey here at 5 or $8.

[@jennifer97363]

Congratulations Susie!! I'm so happy for you 😊 I hope you feel better soon because, girl, you've been through the wringer. Not tmi at all ( I'm an RN, too).hehehe. ❤

[@tracyrasmussen8117]

You can be grateful for what you've got, and still want more! That's totally normal Susie! Id imagine most successful people(not just monetarily) think that way on a daily basis. Good luck to you-I understand the fertility struggle, and it's very hard. Be gentle on yourself.

[@shastamoon3354]

I have IC and used to have a TON of bladder infections. Make sure that you are taking a good probiotic to get the good bacteria back into your bladder and intestines after antibiotic use. Continued (forever) use of probiotics will help the good bacteria keep the bad bacteria in your bladder and female area in check. The refrigerated type are the best and you want the one that contains Lactobacillus rhamnosus and Lactobacillus reuteri. These two have been shown to colonize the bladder and vaginal area the best. Good luck!!!

[@helenearsenault2110]

I am very moved by your story, I have been there as well and I can relate when you say finding out you are pregnant after 3 miscarriages is not so joyful! I am grateful to you for sharing your experience with us and for being so open, and hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well. I ended up having my second child at 40, and it was a great pregnancy and delivery. Wish you all the best.

[@jeanetteh.9240]

I'm sorry you have been so sick!! It's wonderful that you are willing to speak in such detail about your UTI's. Women need this kind of information, and we need to feel comfortable sharing it in case, as you said, someone else is experiencing the same thing. Thanks, and all the best for your pregnancy.

[@reformedchicken2586]

Sending you the biggest hug! Miscarriages are so hard. Not just physically, but emotionally, and mentally. Best of luck as you try to navigate restoring your health!

[@obduliograneto3207]

Ojalá tengas alguien que pueda traducirte esto, mí inglés no es lo suficientemente bueno para decir lo que siento. Gracias por compartir tu experiencia y todo lo que estuviste viviendo en los últimos meses. Espero que tu deseo de ser mamá nuevamente se cumpla, que puedas bajar los niveles de ansiedad y las náuseas desaparezcan. Desde Bs.As. Argentina una "ruluda" te envía buenas energías y mis mejores deseos para vos y tu familia. Gracias por todo lo que me enseñaste en tus videos. Un abrazo grande y fuerza! 💜

[@BBarn711]

Praying for you and your sweet baby. I've been through fertility issues and it's so easy to get obsessive about it. It's all you can think about and everywhere you go you see babies and pregnant women. Also wanted to tell you that with your hair shorter, and the type of curls you have, you look like a brunette Marilyn Monroe. I mean that was total compliment.

[@msmeow8913]

Dear Susie, Thank you for being so generous in sharing very openly your experiences with all of us. In doing so I think that you help others a lot. Please take good care of yourself, rest as much as you can and nurture yourself. If you need to just stay at home, rest and be in your own ‘safe’ environment with your loved ones at the moment then please do that. Sending you love and hugs X

[@kimberlygoodman4913]

As someone who has also experienced loss, I know how you can feel mixed emotions entering a new pregnancy. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but being sick is actually a good sign 🙈 best wishes to you and your family over the next weeks, I know they can be challenging. Sending positive vibes your way! P.s. next time around if you can't resist the urge to test try the Wondfo brand on Amazon. I tested them against first response and had the same results at a waaaay lower price point!

[@jonip83]

This sit down chat will most likely be so comforting for so many women. It’s so raw and so relatable. Thank you for being you. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[@CustomComfyCrochetByDawnMarie]

Love your honesty! Love this video! Prayers to you and your wee one. I deal with social anxiety and generalized anxiety when I’m not pregnant. We humans are so odd. Anyhoo, it’s awful no matter when you have it. The only thing that helps me is prayer. ❤️

[@DozyRoseyPosey]

Congratulations. All your children have been blessed with you as their mother for as long as they have been on this earth and the love they have known from you is not to be underestimated. To be loved for as long as you live is anyone's wish.

[@theam1298]

Hi Susie! Hugs to you. I’m a nurse too. I’m glad you felt you could share with us. Sometimes its hard to talk to hubby about what you’ve been going through. The pregnancy test issue is understandable with your recent history and the anxiety you experience with your pregnancies. Time to toss them in the trash though 😊. I like your short hair. It’s cute and sassy. Although your long hair is beautiful also. Don’t stress over your diet. At this point whatever you can keep down is fine. Sending hugs and prayers to you!

[@JC_planthood]

I found myself crying as I listened to you. I carried up to 12 weeks and I lost the baby in late April/ May. I thought I was finally coming back to myself and my husband and I have been talking about trying again because I was just cleared by my OB. But this past weekend I was sitting around with my family when all of a sudden I started bleeding very heavily all through the house. I'm not sure what it means and I think my anxiety is trying to rear it's ugly head and have me think I had another miscarriage. I have such a strong urge to take a pregnancy test because my hormones would still be high. I totally get you with the obsessing over pregnancy. I feel stuck... I am stuck. You will be okay. Good luck to you and your family.

[@erdalestay7917]

Oh Susie! I’m so sorry for what you’ve been going through! Of all you tubers that I watch you’re the only one I really care about what happens in your life. I feel like you’re my friend because you’re so down to earth and honest. I will keep you in my prayers. Please don’t feel like you need to give an explanation to us as to why you have not been on KZbin. Do this for your own pleasure. You don’t owe anyone any apology or explanation, especially given the hell you’ve been going through.

[@terrilandry8753]

You have been in my thoughts so much this week. You are my first you tuber who has helped me with my crazy frizzy hair with your wonderful tips. Bless you my friend, I will pray for you...

[@mrsphebeb-r8501]

Susie, you’re strong and will get through this. I love your chit chat videos. It helps me since we’re in the same boat. It helps to hear others talk about their losses. Fingers crossed and prayers for you from a fellow OR nurse and multiple miscarrier in the GTA. We took a break and are seeing a fertility specialist soon. My OBGYN referred me after my second loss. I’m also an avid follower of The Fertility Friday podcast which helps me do small lifestyle changes to ready my body for pregnancy. I agree that it’s hard to be excited after losses, you’re going to get through this, maybe finding someone to talk to will help, it has been helpful for me. God bless

[@judicousineau]

Aww Susie. Thank you so much for coming back! I wish you the healthiest pregnancy. Stay strong.

[@emilyshea814]

Hey Susie. It's so considerate of you to update us all on such a private struggle. I did notice that you weren't posting and I was concerned. I'm glad you are ok. I had a vlog that I abruptly disappeared from after a miscarriage, and didn't reappear until I was about 25 weeks pregnant. (She's now about your son's age). I'll be thinking about you and wishing your family well...and I'm so glad to hear you'll be continuing with the videos--my hair has been so much nicer looking since I found your channel. :) x

[@jgruen1066]

Somebody here mentioned grounding... I highly recommend it Susie. Take your shoes off and get in the dirt/grass, close your eyes and just be. Ginger tea works wonders for nausea. Hugs!!

[@Gurlmom5]

Oh Suzie I’m so sorry. I’ve had two miscarriages this year as well. It’s so difficult. I’ve had 5 in total (I also have 4 kiddos). Each one was really hard in its own way. And then subsequent pregnancies are terrible for anxiety and it’s so hard to plan ahead or anything. Fingers crossed that this is a sticky bean for you! I saw MLM with my second and fourth because of my age and history, too. Also, taking 5929394 pregnancy tests is a coping mechanism when you’ve had so many losses. My drawer looked like that too. Lots of us do it. Wondfos on Amazon, like 100 for $10 and they work great. I don’t know who needs to know that, but there it is. As far as TMI goes, former nurse and mom of 4, not much bothers me, personally. Hoping the bladder stuff is resolved for good! Describing it like a stoma made me cringe, I can only imagine!

[@luzvega588]

Keeping you in your thoughts. I have 3 children, two of them currently out of the house, and my youngest is 12. At the age of 40 I'm pregnant with my 4th, and because we had a miscarriage last year, I'm almost in denial 11 weeks in. Having a miscarriage can be devastating, but don't loose hope. ❤️

[@tabathamorrison9223]

Wow! I hope you feel relieved having released this honest and raw post. Hang in there and be kind to you. 🌻💕

[@glendagai]

Dear curly Susie, My heart is for you. I said a prayer for you. You are brave. You are strong. You helped so many people by sharing !

[@janna8864]

I'm so, so sorry that you went through all this Susie!! I'm sure that many women will be blessed by your vulnerability in sharing about your experiences with miscarriage and anxiety and all of it. I hear you with the unhealthy eating during the first trimester - you just do what you gotta do to get through it! :) I'm praying that your nausea passes so soon and that you go to full-term with a perfectly healthy baby!!! God bless you and your family.

[@alisonschofield7235]

It's so brave of you to be so completely honest and open about what's been going on with you. Those miscarriages must have been devastating for you and your husband but congratulations on this pregnancy. I hope that those symptoms that you're experiencing settle and that you can then start to enjoy your pregnancy. Take care of yourself Suzie

[@carolinefreak]

Aw, Susie, I'm glad you're doing better - sometimes we just need a bit of time off to straighten things out in our heads. Now, while I was not a ''pee on a stick'' addict, my husband and I were dealing with infertility for 6 years before we did IVF and finally got pregnant. After some procedures, I was doing testing, all which came out negative, and that affected me so much. Mind you, it was the Dollar Store pregnancy (and ovulation) tests, so the expense wasn't nearly as bad. Thankfully, I stopped myself before it got out of hand and, when the time came for IVF, I didn't even take one out - I just went for the blood test and let the medical staff call me with the results. I hope you keep doing better and that you have even better news for us in the coming weeks. Just take care of yourself in the meantime.