I Discovered Both Of My Boyfriends Exes Still Live With Him r/Relationships

[@kp2223]

Story 1 even if I can understand why the exes live with him. It's a huge red flag that he hid it for 6 months, and she only found out by accident.

[@ArcaneChipmunk]

Mark saying 'If I was the bride' triggered an image of Mark looking pretty in a wedding dress 😂

[@CyborgCharlotte]

Are you implying he couldn’t pull it off? :P

[@ComaLies225]

He’d be absolutely stunning lol❤

[@robertwesley7332]

​@@CyborgCharlotte what, is "looking pretty" an indicator of not pulling a look off?

[@damienberry974]

He would look FABULOUS in a lace ball gown wedding dress! Sheer sleeves to show off those gorgeous tattoos, a sweetheart neckline, and a plunge back to show his shoulders lol

[@Zenohbia]

Damn now I can’t get that out of my mind 😂

[@BbiBbii]

The last comment for that last story is absolutely ridiculous. No shit a family member, even an in-law, would come before a friend 🙄 OP is disabled, about to lose an in-law she loves, trying to be supportive of her bf, and getting shit on for it? Anyone with half a heart & brain would say she’s NTA.

[@pinklemonade8320]

There are truly some redditors that will defend ANYTHING a bride does, I guess they're former or future bridezillas themselves

[@LoveableNiki]

I was looking for this comment. I agree wholeheartedly. A wedding will always be superseded by a loved one dying.

[@Russman67]

OP's ex boyfriend Bryce has a very specific living arrangement and dynamic with his exes. He needed to prep OP for the moment they met. That left OP in a bad spot trying to deal with this collection of women in Bryce 's house. It was early on in the relationship so chalk the break up to experience and keep it moving.

[@JoabWilliamsOfficial]

Agreed. It's not a normal dynamic that most people would not be fine with and probably should have been mentioned early on. I think it's reasonable to freak out like this in a short space of time when you've not even had a chance to properly clear your head.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

OK first of all did you not pay attention to the story? It is one X and one friends with benefits where they had a pregnancy scare and so he decided to move her in. That’s repeat 1X one friends with benefits. He didn’t warn his new girlfriend about any of this yet. He’s never going to find a woman anytime soon with a living arrangement like this but at least he’s a good dad and making sure his kids are taken care of. I’ll give him that, but he better start prepping people.😂

[@slick8086]

@@MONKEYDZETS with out "prepping" future partners he basically tricking women in to dating him by not WARNING them he has a very unconventional relationship with two women he got pregnant.

[@aparnarai3708]

​@@MONKEYDZETShe actually worked out a pretty good arrangement for his kids, they get to live with both their parents and their isn't any evil step mother case. But yeah one should tell such things beforehands

[@Treveyon2010]

@@MONKEYDZETS That would make her an ex-friends with benefits so still an ex.

[@ravensjewel-3886]

29 years old, together for 5 years, and 2 refused proposals but she’s mad he wants to move on? The audacity!

[@JK-sh8rc]

And who are the "friends and family" that feel free to insert themselves & their opinions into another couples relationship? No one I know would ever dream of doing that!

[@ravensjewel-3886]

@@JK-sh8rc right? I can’t imagine my friends or family doing anything other than keeping their opinions to themselves and supporting whatever decision I make.

[@ThePutativeFrosty]

No difference from being married and not being married except the tax benefits and the ability to fuck them over if you want. Never getting married again xD

[@jillimi]

@@JK-sh8rcthat’s one of the things that make me feel most of Reddit stories are fake, or at least not completely true. Like so many people blowing up OP’s phone, lots of 20 yo kids with a 6 figure salary, lots of teenagers who inherit properties and/or money from a family member (usually being the only one getting everything), rich people(or millionaires!) in their 50s or 60s going to Reddit to ask if they are the AH or asking for and advice… 🙄

[@kiaboss9945]

I think she's married already. Think about it?

[@Rogue-bt4wp]

First story..he knows that his living situation is weird and its why he never told OP about it, he is going to have a very tough time finding a woman who is going to be ok with his living arrangement.

[@dream6562]

And that's why he needs to leave them

[@kichikitsu]

​@@dream6562no, get over yourself. this is a living arrangement so ALL parents get to be fully present in their kids lives instead of sacrificing custody time. it is for the kids benefits above all. y'all are the same type as that "vacation only dad" ex-fiancee from that one reddit post. as long as it's sustainable for all parents, then it absolutely is an amazing option. anyone who doesn't agree with that is simply incompatible and that is NOT a loss nor a good reason to say "eh fuck the kids, my love life is more important."

[@agravery223]

​@@kichikitsuNo! The problem is he should NOT be dating until his kids are older... many women do this. He has to sacrifice because his living situation is untenable unless he really is lying amd these are sister wives in disguise. No self respecting female who wants a family is going to go for this BS. He wants his cake and to eat it too and he is definitely still sleeping with them. They might be okay with this arrangement but no real women who has options would be. Not because he is a parent, but because this is living situation is inappropriate if he wants the single life and sexual relationships. He should just stick to screwing his ex's until the kids are old enough for these women to move out if they don't want to be married etc. If not, then he is a major AH for leading single women on like he did to OP. At least he should advertise that he has a poly situation at home to ALL potential future women he meets for dating. That's only fair.

[@kichikitsu]

@@agravery223 nah, you just cannot handle any living situation outside of the norm and feel the need to shame and whine about them. the thing is: this isn't an inappropriate living situation. this is just a living situation different from what you're used to. get the fuck over it. and drop the "real female" language, you sound like an incel. those kids are the priority, and if all three parents able to live with & take care of them full time instead of split custody is what works best, then great! any woman that cannot handle that is simply incompatible. and no, this isn't a damn poly situation lmao just a co-parenting life style that works. (and parents have the right to date others as long as they aren't endangering their kids, wtf? stop pressuring people into unnecessary sacrifice just bc YOU think thats the "right way.")

[@KadeStringer2.0]

Op needs to get over it in story 1.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

On the first story, I also wouldn't be happy with that living situation if I were dating someone. But I can't believe that after hearing their reasoning, OP doubled down and told Theresa and Melody that they should move out. Of course Bryce wasn't going to take her side. She needs to move on.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

@@HEFFATIM I'm not sure that she's a bad person or anything, but that just seemed like an unbelievably dumb response. Like, clearly at that point it wasn't going to work out...

[@ElCid48]

when he walked me out of the door to the car, I would say have fun jackass and I am calling CPS on your guys. wake up sister, you will be just another bed toy for this clown of a man. be happy you did not invest so much time on all these clowns. call CPS

[@delilahbelle2125]

And it's one thing to not want the ex's there, but when OP said they should take the kids with them, I was out of empathy for OP.

[@enjolireyes643]

Basically. She is a new SO and valid at being uncomfortable, but these three adults have a healthy co-parenting albeit weird living arrangement. She needs to walk away like the adult she should have been. There is nothing wrong with nope-ing out of a situation!

[@arleneclark6369]

​@@delilahbelle2125 It would have been worse if she suggested leaving the kids, then it looks like she wants to boot them out and keep their kids.

[@slick8086]

Story 2: if she actually wanted to marry the guy she would have accepted his proposal on the condition of a long engagement. You can't say "yes" to marriage while simultaneously saying "no" to engagement.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

That was what stood out to me. Like I get saying “no” to a proposal because you’re not sure you want to be married or want to be married to that particular person, but there’s no point saying “no” if you’re certain of the person but iffy on the timeline. Saying “yes” to a proposal doesn’t mean getting married the next day.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Four years together and two shot down proposals. Her reasoning isn't sound. If she wanted to marry OP Just extending the engagement would have solved it. She can't get mad that he eventually walked away from her. Done.

[@brandyb2931]

I agree. Its not like they are 20 year olds that have been together for 4 years. They are almost 30. This is a perfect age to start their lives together and to build a family. How much time does she need him to wait? 5 more years where the prospects of finding another woman his own age to get married to and settle down to start having children are getting slimmer by the day if she decides she doesn't want him after all? If she hasn't decided by almost 5 years that she doesn't want to marry him, then maybe they should take a break so she can see what a life without him is like. That may give her the clarity she needs.

[@draconisdragonheart4248]

I agree. It really looks like OP could have been just a placeholder. He deserves better.

[@kiaboss9945]

I really think she's married already and hiding it for some reason. Maybe he was abusive and she is afraid he'll find her if she files for divorce, maybe Vegas fling but something

[@pinklemonade8320]

​@kiaboss9945 you've read too many crazy reddit stories

[@pinklemonade8320]

​@@draconisdragonheart4248 I disagree. If she really said she can't see herself without OP and she begged him to stay, even going so far as to agree to the marriage just so he won't leave, then she obviously loves him. He shouldn't be listening to bitter and paranoid redditors convincing him she just didn't want to be alone. If marriage is a dealbreaker issue for OP then he has every right to leave, but it sounds like dumping her was a knee-jerk reaction to percieved rejection and he'll probably regret leaving the love of his life instead of trying to make it work with her. It's also on the gf to articulate whatever her problem with marriage is, of course.

[@mracula1667]

Story 3: NTA. The friend needs to understand that her wedding day is not the most important thing in everyone else’s life. I feel like someone who can’t accept that is not equipped for something like marriage. Maybe OP will be able to attend her next wedding.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Yea, and would you really want your best friend at your wedding when she's mourning the loss of a loved one?

[@bhart3321]

She should send a screenshot of that exchange to her fiancé with a note, "you really wanna marry someone that can't understand me choosing to be there for my fiancé instead of attending a wedding? Seriously? I hope you're never in his position cuz she may not be there for you like I am for mine."

[@johnbradbury8610]

Yeah, what happens if her husband gets sick? She'll probably yell at him for not mowing the grass.

[@ec4145]

Story 1: I wouldn't dictate anything to him. He misled her, and his situation is WEIRD. I'd have dumped him on the way home for the deception. That's second or third date information, but he chose hiding them away when she comes over.

[@hello93617]

Second or third date? Entitled much?

[@jeaniebee3657]

i agree with this but she was all no make them leave..he is ummm no lol

[@SCP01986]

I would straight up ghost him, lmao. 👻

[@drea4195]

@@hello93617 Why get hung up on which date it should have been? I have no idea what date it would have been appropriate for, but it sure as hell wasn't SIX MONTHS in.

[@hello93617]

@drea4195 I'd say, like 3-4 months. But I'd also introduce the kids sooner, and aparently that's a bad idea. Aparently what he was supposed to say was, "So I live with my kids and exes, but you can't meet them yet" which sounds way worse than anything he said.

[@carlrood4457]

If the situation works for them great, but if they're being honest about the situation they should all realize that it's going to hinder their dating and relationship options in the future.

[@femboy__bunny]

Yeah I think he knows that and that’s why he never said anything. I’m polyamorous and even I would be uncomfortable with the situation because he hid it from her. He either needs to be up front with his next partner or move them out if he wants to date someone else. Or settle for being single until his kids are old enough to move out and his baby mamas can move out too.

[@catandrobbyflores]

I feel like the boyfriend is getting off too easy after hiding that the exes are living there. I think other gfs ran for the hills and he chooses now not to say anything.

[@breab2105]

Oh yeah me and my kid’s father have a very close and good co parenting relationship and I have issue with jealousy from partners.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 2: OP is not the A-hole. At 29 if you want to have kids with someone near your age, its time to get started. OP had to move on if she wasn't ready.

[@bettyam9917]

The comments on reddit are delusional, the guy should have been upfront and told op about his living situation so she could make decision to continue with relationship or not. Not wait 6 months for her to catch feelings and be more vulnerable.

[@Rogue-bt4wp]

Absolutely, but she was waaayyyy out of line in telling his children's mothers that they should move out and take the children with them. That is where she became the AH and completely lost all empathy.

[@joymermaidd8ing791]

I agree. Raising kids...and co-parenting are not easy. Once she confirmed there wasn't any possible bed hopping, she should have realized it was for the kids. They all support each other, help with the kids... and when you think about it, it would help keep costs down, and you have 2 easy options for babysitters, without travel issues. Why should they change it? Confirm there's NO bed hopping... (or chance of it). Then decide if it's something you can handle potentially becoming a part of... with or without kids (of your own). PS: You'd better like kids...lol On the other hand... if there's ANY chance of bed hopping (directed from them toward him... or him towards either of them)... WALK... (and don't look back).

[@VesnaVK]

​@@joymermaidd8ing791how could that be confirmed? It cannot be. We already know the guy is deceptive.

[@mikimishisa]

​@joymermaidd8ing791 literally anyone can cheat there's no confirming.

[@nikkismith5490]

This. Bryce knew what he was doing. He knew that wasn’t a normal living arrangement so no one would assume he had two women in his house. If I was OP, I’d have told him on the way out to my car that maybe next time he should tell his partner that he is loving with his exes instead of trapping them.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 2 nta I heard this one before. She was waiting for something, that's why she was keeping him hanging. Just dump him.

[@josephedward7534]

Story 2: NTA. It doesn't really matter why he broke up with her. You have the right to date or not date who ever you want. Why he broke up with her is no one else's business.

[@hausofphid3966]

Yes! You can end a relationship at any time for any reason.

[@twentyfiveyears5010]

Story 1, Bryce was an AH for not being upfront about his exes, but good for them for figuring out an apparently workable way for the kids to have stable homes. The main point is that OP--and everyone else--have to understand that the purpose of dating is to find someone who is compatible with you, NOT to find someone who isn't and try to change them. Story 2, Another "if the genders were reversed..." If a 29-yr-old woman told her long-term BF twice over a 1-yr period that she wanted to be married and he said, "I love you and don't want you to leave, I just don't want to marry you 'right now,'" Reddit would be telling her to run.

[@Enderslegend]

Not sure I’d call Bruce the AH. Maybe a bit dense. Some stuff feels obvious and doesn’t feel like it needs an explanation when it’s your normal. Plus feels like she should have been asking about the family dynamics before now. I get the feeling she wasn’t interested because she was assuming he was going to prioritize her over his children and start spending less time with them. If my partners exes were always over at their place, I’d have definitely asked about the situation long before I started staying the night. Good on him for showing her the door when she decided to say me or the kids.

[@kichikitsu]

​@@Enderslegendyep! 100%. it's insane how she just heard "2 kids with exes" and assumed they were having split (or less) custody between them, but somehow Bryce is the asshole for not automatically telling her that's not the case? OP was definitely on her way to asking him to abandon his kids entirely for her.

[@KadeStringer2.0]

Not completely true

[@Happyfoam-lw3yt]

I don't think so. A mature, non-fucky adult would be able to explain as to WHY they're not ready. If what OP said is true and she just said "I want to marry you, but I'm not ready", then she reeks of mind games.

[@KadeStringer2.0]

@@kichikitsu no she wasn’t asking him to abandon the kids but asking him to quit living with his exes .

[@spoopy132]

The last comment on story 3 honestly pissed me off. Of course the bride has EVERY right to be disappointed and even upset but that does NOT make OP an AH because she wont abandon her partner when his FATHER is about to die, a father that has also been like a father to her. OP is NOT abandoning her friend, she wanted to still try to attend but the friend demanded a definitive answer and it would have been completely irresponsible to promise to be there if she knew that its likely the father will be dying around the same time and she may not make it. If it was my wedding, I would want her to try to make it but I would also prepare for the possibility of her not being there and either way, I would be happy and there to support my friend who is grieving. A wedding is ONE day but losing a family member is something that can effect and disrupt your life well before and well after the actual death. Yes, your wedding is YOUR day and you want it to be the wedding of your dreams but this is REAL LIFE and shit happens, you cant expect perfection and for everyone else in your life to drop everything else going on in their lives for you and then lose your mind when you dont get that.

[@Ax-xo4ux]

EXACTLY. I was looking for this! OP is no AH, the bride certainly is for demanding OP abandon her partner. Then being like “oh I’ve been abandoned” like NO YOU HAVENT. I agrée with marks bollocks statement on the bride saying she’d go in this situation. It’s so easy to say that when you’re looking in from outside

[@bluexwings]

Story 2: I really want to hear the girlfriend's POV. Is there something going on in her life that's stressing her out/making taking that next step overwhelming? (ie pursuing a very competitive degree, grieving a loved one, lingering trauma from her past) I just feel like we're missing a chunk of the story.

[@LOLtz1]

Story 1: that is a weird living situation and I can't see too many people being comfortable entering into that. The boyfriend should have been upfront since the beginning because it's weird and people should have the opportunity to leave or stay after getting all the info. However if OP wanted to continue the relationship she can't just come in and start demanding things to change with an already established dynamic. Op should have just left after founding out.

[@GiordanDiodato]

why not? he's living with his Ex's.

[@VesnaVK]

​​@@GiordanDiodatobecause five people are involved, not just Bryce.

[@VesnaVK]

@LOLtz1 exactly! ESH.

[@madambutterfly1997]

WTF. That’s a dealbreaker automatically. None of his future relationships will last long with his exes living with him basically hovering 24/7 like that

[@juliearmfield2634]

Yeah I wouldn't be comfortable in a relationship like that that would definitely be a deal-breaker for me

[@hello93617]

Oh yeah, I'm sure no women will be attracted to a man with a track record of going above and beyond to not only care for his children and provide them the best chance at a future (children raised in a two parent household and much less likely to end up in poverty later in life), but also essentially provide a life for their mothers, simply because he had gotten then pregnant.

[@randomusername3873]

And even if is not a deal breaker, lying about it for all that time? Screw off😂

[@brittalex42]

So safe to say that what the OP did wrong was to demand that they change their living situation and get upset when they said no. Reddit focuses on her wong doing because she was the one who asked. However, the guy obviously knows that decent, self respecting women aren't going to be happy with this living arrangement so he deliberately hides this fact in hopes that they will look past it later on.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 2: After the first refusal, ANY proposal after that would be private. And cheap. If there is another person holding her back, I don't think it's family or friends. I think it's a side piece. If she knows she won't marry OP, she needs to admit that and leave him.

[@kagekun1198]

Story 1 is either a weird wholesome "found family" structure, or the start of some messed up codependency. Either way, if OP is not ready for this situation, she dodged a very weird bullet. Otherwise, she'd be concubine #3.

[@MONKEYDZETS]

I don’t think Bryce is ready first of all you need to tell somebody you’re dating that your exes have keys to your house and also that they live with you now how she handle it was wrong. Oh yeah, take the kids and go away. Yeah that was not good but he’s a fool to think that any woman he’s gonna start dating. He’s going to be happy that your ex, and your friends with benefits lives there.

[@pinklemonade8320]

Concubine #3? One of them is literally a lesbian, did you not read the whole story? Why is everyone assuming Bryce is fucking both exes?

[@simonO712]

​@@pinklemonade8320THANK YOU!

[@derpydragon1227]

@@pinklemonade8320Unless that woman outs herself as a lesbian 24/7, anyone who doesn’t know would think she’s Concubine #1. The situation is sus as hell and sure, it works, but for relationships? Hella fuck no. No smart girl/man would want to stay in that situation given the dude fucked both and had a kid with both of them, is living with them, and one has admitted to being a fwb, even if it’s former. This is not a situation any person should be in and OP def dodged a fucking bullet- a steaming red hot bullet.

[@lauragarza7585]

Yeah, I really hope they all get some therapy. Because they definitely hid this from her on purpose. And I understand protecting each other‘s feelings, but they completely disregarded OP’s and didn’t give her any agency, but she definitely should not have demanded that they moved out.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Story 1: I don't care what OP said in the update. WHAT THE SISTER WIVES IS GOING ON HERE?!? 🤣 Seriously, this whole thing is too new for OP to try to stake out her territory. No relationship is instantly ideal, but starting out with so many (chaotic?) variables doesn't bode well for the future. Two exes yell at you and your boyfriend doesn't even try to calm that situation and OP still wants to hang on to this dude? No way, no how. I think OP should beat feet and find someone with less pre-existing "situationships."

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

They only yelled at her when she listened to their stories and then immediately told them they should still move out. It's not her call. He should've told her about the situation a lot sooner, but she doesn't get to decide if they live there or not, esp as she's only been dating him for six months.

[@73shay93]

Story 1: I’m not sure many people would be okay with Bryce’s living situation and stay in the relationship.

[@Azulakayes]

No normal person would be okay with it. Good luck to Bryce and his harem...OP dodged a missile.

[@73shay93]

@@Azulakayes Harem is exactly what I was thinking 🤣, and yes I too feel this situation is the polar opposite of normal.

[@darkmask5933]

Why do you think four months deep he still didn't mention it until he was cornered? He was lying by omission.

[@stan8479]

@@darkmask5933 Four months is not a lot of time. It definitely isn't enough to start talking about moving in, of all things.

[@kitarrah1422]

​@@darkmask5933it was 6 months, not 4.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 3 - NTA. Being disappointed that your best friend can’t attend your wedding is normal, but having no empathy or compassion as to why the friend can’t attend is kind of ridiculous. Wedding mentality really needs to chill out, there’s so much expectation that a day that has so much importance to the couple getting married that it has to be equally important to those they invite or have as part of the wedding party. There are times where other factors override it’s importance and people can’t fulfill the duties they’d agreed to. I’m not surprised that such a young bride is also acting the way the friend is, some 22yo’s are mature, many more are still working towards it or not at all.

[@charlottehancock76]

Exactly. My friend invited me to her birthday bash about 2 weeks before my nanny passed away in june. We literally just found out she was in palliative care with no end estimated. When i said to my friend wgat was going on, she said "say no more" gave me her support. I think while she was disappointed, she understood why. When she did pass, we didnt know when the funeral would be due to the autopsy. Which ended up being the day before my friends birthday in another county. There was no way i coupd have done it. Having been in that position, it is so hard to do anything centred aroind new beginnings

[@johnbradbury8610]

NTA, but come on OP open up your damn eyes. this woman is not your friend. If she had blown up and apologized that would be understandable, but this is ridiculous.

[@pinklemonade8320]

What 22yo struggles to understand that a party isn't as important as a family member's LIFE? This is not age-appropriate behaviour at all

[@bhart3321]

I thought same thing. She's definitely not ready for marriage if she can't understand her friend's position. I'd send a screenshot of that exchange to her fiancé with a note, "you really wanna marry someone that can't understand me choosing to be there for my fiancé instead of attending a wedding? Seriously? I hope you're never in his position cuz she may not be there for you like I am for mine."

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 1: As soon as I heard OP's BF has two baby mommas and the children are only 3 years apart in age I was thinking RUN GIRL! As this guy looks like he's collecting a harem of baby mommas. Also, his youngest baby is only 1 yea old. I'd be wondering if he's seeing other women as well as his two baby mommas seem fine with him bringing in chicks and being around each other. This is NOT a very healthy lifestyle for the women in that BF's life.

[@Frostfern94]

I think it’s stupid she’s trying to control who he lives with. It’s his decision and his family. At least we agree on one thing, They shouldn’t be together if OP is uncomfortable with it

[@hoetrocity]

@@Frostfern94your completely missing the fact that he hid it from her for 6 months

[@fiyahquacker2835]

​@@hoetrocitythat part is understandable but everything after that bit makes the op an ahole.

[@BritInvLvr]

Lol. Story one reminds me of this one guy who used to attend social functions with both his wife and ex wife. They all got along great. We would tease them about being sister wives. I’m not saying the bf and ex’s are wrong with their setup. But he needs to let any gfs he wants to be serious with know about it.

[@carolsimpson4422]

It's odd enough that buddy has two "exes" living with him. It's downright bizarre that the "exes" just dissappear when op wants to bring a woman home. Two women and their kids come and go at his command? That's super weird, and not in a good way.

[@barneytaylor9338]

Yeah, I was thinking that there is a whole lot here going on than people are letting on.

[@akl2k7]

Especially since, didn't the story say one of them had an apartment that she owns? Why isn't she living there? This is all sorts of weird.

[@mimikiryuu]

​@@akl2k7tbf, when a guy knocks a chick up, she's not thinking of HIM, she's thinking of herself and her baby. The ex's got it made and they wouldn't want anything to change that. I wouldn't, especially if my presence will make the guy pay more attention to the kid we made, rather than dating. This is why the ex's aren't in a hurry to leave. Why leave when 1) the guy is actually doing the responsible thing by housing his baby mamas so there's no moral reason to leave, and 2) the person with the issue is only 6 months into the relationship and doesn't have any sort of real say in how he handles his situation. Both make for a very unbalanced power structure for OP to be getting into. He will always put his ex's first because he's "doing the right thing" and anyone who has an issue with it can GTFO. Which is just a blanket of good deeds to cover up his lack of maturity or morals (he's dating when he has 2 little kids and 2 baby mamas living with him. He has little morals and whatever he had, come out in the form of "I'm stepping up and helping my baby mamas. If you don't like it, leave" when it's really just a messed up situation he's taken the narrative for). I rambled. Sorry. 😂

[@Jace_the_mace]

He’s banging them that’s why. No need to hide if you’re innocent. It’s seems to me they all came up with a story to trick the Op into being ok with the situation and when she didn’t buy it, it pissed them off. This sounds like a poly situation and I believe she would’ve ended up being the 3rd baby mama had she accepted that “arrangement.”

[@Bj90216]

I literally only came her to say this. Melody has an apartment. One they all come and go from, so not rented out I'm guessing. How wierd.

[@beebs4283]

🥺 It’s really sweet that the guy in story 1 not only accepted his ex’s orientation but allowed her to stay with him when others didn’t.

[@embluvya]

A person living with 2 baby mamas shouldn't even be dating in the first place. Nobody who isn't messy themselves would want in on that kind of messy situation, He didn't tell you the truth up front for a reason. Because he knows this is ridiculous.

[@pinklemonade8320]

Tbf it's really not his fault that his first ex revealed that she was a lesbian AFTER the pregnancy and then didn't have a place to stay. The fwb thing is a bit more messy but nothing crazy

[@bhart3321]

After the context I think you're being unfair to the guy. Is this really weird situation? Absolutely. Should he have mentioned this earlier? Probably. But I'm never gonna fault a guy for giving shelter to two women in need especially if it gives him unfettered access to his children so he can be a good involved parent.

[@embluvya]

@@bhart3321 he's not necessarily wrong to take them in. It's that he shouldn't be dating a third woman and deliberately not telling her about this weird situation. I think he should be focusing on the little family he's created and stop trying to get involved with yet another woman while his kids are this young and he's still intertwined with the lives of the moms.

[@nikkismith5490]

@@bhart3321one has her own apartment and they would leave the house to go to said apartment when he had women over for “privacy”.

[@vulpixle9659]

​@@bhart3321plus it helps that none of them have to pay child support with this situation

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 1: Guy has two baby mamas. OP, at this point, the red flag is waving in your face, you're actively choosing to ignore it.

[@sdmarais633]

He saved her endless heartache by being a AH

[@fiyahquacker2835]

​@@sdmarais633and honestly she was an ahole too.

[@rainbowunicorn709]

Story #2: She's likely giving it another year or two to see whether she can land someone else "better" (read: more resources) or maybe "the one who got away" might return before she "settles" for him.

[@hungrymusicwolf]

Story 1: That group of three sounds absolutely nuts. When someone points out how weird it is they're living together and asks why they don't move out to their own place, pretty much anyone with any sense would understand that perspective. To scream and yell on the girls side, and kicking her out and ending things on the boyfriends front, both just convince me that they really are in a weird polygamous relationship. You don't scream at someone for pointing out you could have your own place, whatever is going on their it is messed up. Sounds like another story that could have been on reddit among the other crazy drama's.

[@ettinakitten5047]

I got the sense OP was *heavily* downplaying her side. I suspect "pointing out how weird it was and suggesting they move out" probably involved some screaming and insults on her side that she declined to share with Reddit.

[@catandrobbyflores]

This almost screams cult to me.

[@Cel3ere5]

Their oldest is 6, right? Imagine explaining this to school when one of the kids draws their family and they gotta explain essentially two mommies and one daddy. Unless they live in the state of Utah.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

But when OP asked them why they don't just move out, they had just explained why they moved in and why they're still living there. OP just asked the same question again, it was the start of a marry go round effect with OP also saying and insisting to them that they should because 'exs shouldn't live together'. Only a fool deals in absolutes, the world around us isn't black and white its a range of shades and hues that we have to decode and understand and interpret. At this time the arrangement is working, he should of told OP before this point but OP has no rights to tell them they have to move out just because she and Bruce started dating. 6 months+ Isn't that long into a committed relationship, first 2 years are basically honeymoon for most people, others it ends earlier when a conflict of interest shows they're incompatible.

[@mimikiryuu]

​@@Splatoon_Kirbybut their response told us everything we needed to know about them. 1) they got it made and don't want to leave, and 2) they will blow up at anyone who suggests otherwise. Every person he brings into the fold is going to be new to the situation and not have seniority. At what point does his girlfriend get to say "why are your baby mamas still living here when they have the means to live out of their own?" Or "When are they moving out/ when are we moving in together without them?" 6 months? A year? At what point does it become a "I'm the gf, and I say this is weird" situation? Does she ever get a say in any of it? Or does she have to keep quiet because he's technically doing the "right thing" by housing them and taking care of them? And at what point does it become like a sunken cost situation? That she's wasted so much time with him already and doesn't want to call that time completely wasted. If he waits a year to tell her, then she's wasted a year on a situation she would have noped out of early on if she knew. If he tells her early on and she has an issue with it, shes still the early gf and has no say in how he handles his relationships (even if they live with him). There is no winning for OP.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 1 wow two kids with two different baby mamas all living in the same house and has a girlfriend. Yeah that's some Jerry Springer level type of drama that I would nope right out of. There isn't no man worth all that drama

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 1: Hold up... He has two OLDER kids from other baby mommas???? RUN OP!!! RUN!!!

[@vggeek13]

Wait... not with the baby mama's living with him? So this man has 4 children with 4 different women? Where was that?

[@raptoress6131]

OP's boyfriend should come with a warning label

[@vikthestampede]

Story 1: lol, this guy low key set up a harem.

[@dm9078]

OP is going to be the next sister wife. 😂. Move on OP! NTA! He hid this crap from her and wasted her time. Edit:Just because the one “ex” has a girlfriend doesn’t mean they aren’t in a poly relationship. That is kind of the point of a poly relationship. She is better off out of this. Four years two proposals and she has turned him down twice. She is waiting until someone else comes along. And that “Fine I’ll marry you” would have been the last straw even if I had been thinking about staying. NTA!

[@jodieg6318]

Story 1: I really can't call OP TA in this one. No you don't get to dictate someone's living situation but anyone would have gotten whiplash from that revelation especially the way she found. That conversation with adults should happened long before she met the kids.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

The single NTA that actually considered the long term ramifications of the setup on everyone, not just the kids, is really the most well-rounded, sane response.

[@gilesclone]

I’d say NAH. Both sides have their reasons to want what they want. They are just incompatible. He probably should have brought it up earlier, but it’s still early in the relationship. They’ll both be happier with someone else.

[@Melanie-jy2nw]

@@gilesclone no the boyfriend is ahole, he should have told her long ago.

[@TsukiKageTora]

The OP in story 1 should feel this guy is a weirdo. Like he lives with his exes “full time” and then kicks them out to have alone time with his new girlfriend conveniently at one of the other two’s houses (like why pay for a mortgage of a house and live full time at another house while feeding the mouth of a baby? (I’d say either the full time or the other’s house is a lie) It’s also massively weird to not inform his girlfriend that his exes live with him. What happens when they got to fiancé stage and she didn’t know until they were almost married that she will have to live with his exes like some weird sister wife/exes situation?

[@SappyDuder]

Story 3: I didn't like the final comment Mark read out for the reason that they said op "abandoned her friend" as if she wouldn't be "abandoning" her boyfriend if she went to the wedding. This is a "dammed if you do, dawned if you don't" situation, as her going to the wedding could possibly cause a rift between her and her boyfriend that could lead to them breaking up because "you left me to go to a wedding when I needed you most"

[@shadowdemon2272]

Story 3: people place too much importance on being physically present in a specific location. You *are* there for her and have been the whole engagement, even if you can't physically be there on the day. If the bride is so concerned about you participating, she can facetime you while getting ready so you can be part of the activities (at least in spirit), and she can Zoom the wedding so anyone not there can still watch it. Easy, 21st century solutions to a small, common issue...

[@rachel-in-the-208]

What really upset me was someone saying if she missed the wedding because of his funeral it would be different. So it is ok if he was dead but not ok if she wants to spend as much time with him as she can while he is alive. People are twisted in their priorities!

[@stonefox2546]

The commenters in #3 blaming OP for choosing to be there for her boyfriend and his father over someone's wedding are WILD. I tell you, if I was getting married and my close friend had situation like this, I'd not break friendship over the friend prioritizing care of loved one over a party.

[@Araraki-Itto1]

Last story: The ones saying no ones an asshole are wild to me. The friend is 100% without a shadow of a doubt an asshole. No question. She values her wedding over her FRIEND being there for her partner who's going through the darkest time of his life and also loosing a father figure and she's making it all about her and getting pissed. What. A. CHILD. "You've abandoned your friend." Good lord I'm seeing red.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

I agree. Yikes.

[@enjuno]

Exactly this and those people are missing the part where she considers him a father figure also.

[@jenniferkay9789]

Let's not forget how upset she is, that she's not even a priority!🙄 If my close friend/father figure/family member is dying, damned straight, you're not a priority!😤 Am I going to be a priority to you, the day you give birth? No? Then no, you're not a priority,on the day my father figure takes his final breath, anymore than I'll be one, on the day your child takes his/her first!🤨

[@fnjesusfreak]

The "friend", since she's clearly no such thing, is being a bridezilla.

[@mellttabor2134]

So the bridezilla is saying that if her husbands dad becomes deathbed sick right before a friends wedding that she agreed to serve in that husband can handle his grief alone cause she’s going to attend that wedding( you know she puts friends first)… feel really bad for her husband. He’s getting married to a red flag

[@TallLady123]

Girl is pining for a man with two kids by two different women who dislike her now. Girl, WHY? Cause you LoOoOoOoVe him?

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

4 kids. He has 4. She slyly slipped in one line of "when I stayed over, they took his oldest 2 and their youngest 2 over to melodys apartment " at 2:22.

[@JoabWilliamsOfficial]

@@Original_Tenshi_Chan Good catch.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

​@@Original_Tenshi_ChanWow, I totally missed that. So, that means the ex fiancée came out after the 2nd child, or after the first and they decided to have a 2nd still. And the friends with benefits ex had birth control fail twice? Or once and they decided to go for a 2nd later too. Either way, sounds like they're happy being a friends-blended family-roommates situation, which is fine if the man would've at least told OP from the start.

[@kichikitsu]

​@@Original_Tenshi_Chanthat makes zero sense, why the hell would OP lie about 1 kid to each ex? lmao

[@desireeloveros1055]

​@@Nathan_Bookwurm According to the comments the older 2 are adopted

[@paden1865able]

Just from the title I got the feeling that he doesn't want a relationship, he wants a bloody harem. I can understand him supporting his children but this is turning into a sister wives situation. The other two women are exes for a reason but this scenario is nuts.

[@Yume10605]

I don't believe they are exs. Not with how the one reacted. I think it is already sister wives BS. It sounds like he gets with the women get them pregnant then uses the kids to tie them to him.

[@jacobsmith-hi6ey]

he wasn't to create a weird situation like Mariah's ex

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@Yume10605 EXACTLY. I can't see most guys who would be dating one of those women putting up with their girlfriend living with her "Ex" and one of his other "Exes". Supposedly one of the women is lesbian and dating another woman. Sorry, but if you have sex with a guy, you are NOT a lesbian, at best, you are bi-sexual. Is she to believe that the one woman who got pregnant when they were "friends with benefits" still isn't getting their itch scratched by each other from time to time??? This was a weird Poly thing where they were looking for a certain kind of weak-minded woman to add to the group (both women are probably bi-sexual) and when the OP didn't show the traits of someone who would be easily manipulated then he just cut her loose quickly as not to waste any time and just kept looking. Poly relationships are built on power and control with usually one person (most often a woman) in charge or sometimes a couple where THEY make all of the rules and any new "members" must abide by those rules with no real say in them. That's a big power imbalance. Who knows, I would be willing to bet that one of those two women (or both) was the ones actually in charge of this relationship and they wanted to add another woman to the mix so they had the guy find one. Things went South when the women were upset and then the guy broke it off with the OP.

[@Yume10605]

@@thomasjoseph5876 agree. I'm calling B's on the backstories.

[@dream6562]

​@@Yume10605I'm not calling bs on them

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: she is upset she doesn’t get to retain her probably safe option. But really, if she is so willing to reject him twice without saying why and then getting made he ended things with her to the point she made friends and family contact him and insult him: he dodged a massive bullet.

[@violetmoodswing666]

The wedding story almost had me crying. I had to back out of a friends wedding 2 days before. My father died and I was just not mentally ok to stand up there for her as I would be a mess. I did cancel my hair and make up before calling her to let her know. But she was at work and i didn't want to tell her that way. The day before I did drop off the rose petals I had bought for her. She was 100% supportive and said I could still come as a guest. I said I would think about it. I did not go, but I sent my bridesmaid dress for her younger sister to wear as she was taking my place (she did not have her sisters in the party prior to that) I love her for her being so suplortive. When I walked into were they were setting up everyone just shut up amd her dad gave me a hug while someone went to get her.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Not sure of a verdict on S1, probably ESH. OP is wrong to try to change their life, but not wrong to not want a BF who lives with 2 exes. Ultimately they're incompatible.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

The OP sure got jettisoned quickly when it appeared she was not going to approve of the living situation. Almost like the guy was tasked with looking for another woman, probably weak-minded who can be easily manipulated to bring into the mix. The one woman who claimed she is a lesbian isn't a lesbian. Lesbians don't have sex with men, at best, she is bi-sexual and I bet the other one is as well. Does anyone actually believe the woman who was a friend with benefits and the guy still aren't "scratching their itch" with each other from time to time??? I sure don't know many guys that would be willing to put up with that situation if they were dating one of those women. I wouldn't. The correct verdict is NTA for the simple reason she got ambushed by this whole scenario with a very weak "cover story" for what is going on and even then, I don't believe she was told the whole or even truthful story as to what is really happening there.

[@LadyPatricia362]

Op was ambushed that morning and in the wrong for asking them why they don't have their own places ?, thing is Melody FWB does as they took the kid's there whenever OP stayed over and Theresa has a girlfriend she's seeing. What happens when they want to move on with their own relationship's do they move out or expect them to move in to ex's home, meanwhile the boyfriend just drops his girlfriend's that ask a question they don't like

[@Bala_Niranna]

​@@thomasjoseph5876that lesbian comment is just, ignorant. The closet exists, compulsory heterosexuality making you think you should be with a man and not realize you're a lesbian exists. That's stupid. Anyway, ESH he lied by omission, she has no right to make demands. Esp after hearing the women's reasoning

[@GiordanDiodato]

she's trying to change something that shouldn't even be a thing.

[@kichikitsu]

​@@thomasjoseph5876that's not how being a lesbian works. drop the "gold star lesbian" mentality and recognize that she had a bigoted, abusive family that likely lead to her feeling pressured to get a beard. and no, why the hell would Bryce keep OP around after she made it clear she was both 1. entitled enough to believe she had any right to dictate how the man shes been dating for UNDER half a year lives, and 2. clearly incompatible considering she refuses to accept their living situation? why would Bryce WANT to date her further when it's more than likely that she'd try the "vacation only dad" move if she knows she can get Bryce to cave into her demands like that? OP shouldn't be dating single parents.

[@treehouse2902]

1. OP, run. This looks like a bad situation. 2. She is afraid to be alone but does not want marriage.

[@threeducks157]

People can make all kinds of excuses but that living situation is all kinds of messed up lol op honestly dodged a bullet.

[@JO_Artificial]

This story is funny because OP is looking in her future and she can't see that this man is creating baby mamas.

[@Bj90216]

Story 1- Melody has her own apartment! They all hide there on command when Bryce has dates over. So it must not be rented out. It's just there to hide his secret families and dupe his dates.

[@michamocha]

Story 3: The friend absolutely is the AH, Op is not. Bring disappointed is a natural reaction when you find out that your friend won't be able to attend but to attack and guilt them for it? That's a step too far. The commentator framing it as Op ruining the friendship when it's the opposite. The _friend_ is ruining it by being grossly unsupportive and entitled. A family member is on the verge of dying. Even if he isn't Op's father doesn't mean he isn't an important family member to her. For someone getting married, she greatly misunderstood the 'through thick and thin' portion of the wedding vows. In this situation, family comes first before a wedding. Op has all the time in the world to make it up to the friend, she would not have the same opportunity with FIL.

[@nareegreel]

Story 1: NTA, he should let prospective partners know of his living arrangements. If he didnt tell you something like this, imagine all the other bs he forgot to mention. Op should leave that weird situation alone.

[@BurlapSnack]

Story 1: the YTAs are missing that the "he was waiting to introduce the kids after some months" scenario is non-existent. He wasn't being careful to introduce the kids to her, he was just hiding that they all live together. Because he knew people would typically have an issue with that.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 2: Willing to bet she didn't tell friends and family that this is the second time she said no....

[@treefittyforall]

The way everyone was coming at him makes me believe she's spun it to where she's the victim. Let's say she did tell them the truth... If they heard the actual truth that she never told him why she won't marry him TWICE and she rejected him AGAIN now and he realize he should move on. If after that they still see her as the victim then they're just biased and it doesn't matter what they think anyway, because the truth is she threw that relationship away. He wised up to her not wanting to marry him. He's tired of the limbo she wants him in while she sits around waiting for someone she does want. He's a placeholder. He's finally able to go find a woman who wants him. Most people know within a year or two if they want to marry someone. You love being around them, you can't imagine your life without them. You want to grow old with them. After 4+ years she's still shooting him down, she needs to just be free to find whatever she thinks she wants.

[@lisear2926]

Re Story 1: What in the sister wives did OP stumble into❓ That's not normal‼️ Anyone dating while living in that situation, needs to tell potential partners in advance so that outsiders can make an informed decision as to whether or not they want to be involved with your lifestyle and living situation.. because the minute he told me what he was what up to - that would be the last conversation we had.

[@SheenaFujibayashisan]

I feel like in story two, we're missing information. I'd love to hear her side of it all, the why she was holding back on saying yes.

[@tashasimmons747]

That first story....man is building a harem.

[@rainbowunicorn709]

Story #3: Several years ago, I had a "friend" with whom I was supposed to hang out. This basically meant give him money and a ride because he only wanted to hang out when he wanted something from me. About a week and a half before that, another friend had died. I found out the morning of the day that we were going to hang out that the memorial service was going to be that evening. The hangout meant driving about two hours east of where I live. The service meant driving about three hours south of where I live. So I messaged the "friend" and explained that I was going to have to reschedule so that I could attend the service. His only response was "yeah right." I told him that I'm sorry my friend's death was inconvenient for him. He left me on read and ghosted me for a few weeks until he wanted something again. I lost all respect and caring for the "friend" at that moment.

[@pd26224]

How nice in story 1 that the kids have a full time dad .it may seem weird to some but i liked the fact they all stayed friends and he helped them in difficult circumstances its way better than situations where kids see their dads once a week

[@AndyyWithAY]

Um talk about a title!! This is some sister wives BS. How does he even have time to date?? I don't think 6 months is too long to wait to meet the kids. OP needs to bounce. This is just too wild. I could not abide this

[@beccaf262]

Imagine thinking that your wedding is more important than someone’s impending death. Death is the only certainty we have. It gives me the vibe that the friend has never lost someone and doesn’t understand the finality of death.

[@rickraber1249]

Story #1: What a bizarre situation. OP's bf is very generous and apparently pretty prolific. If all this works for them, fine. The bf clearly has more loyalty to his exes than to OP. How on earth does she think this could ever play out? Those exes will stay there til they each get involved with someone new and move in with the new person. If OP wants an SO all to herself, this guy ain't it. Also, I wouldn't be too sure there wasn't maybe some friends with benefits stuff happening there. The exes wouldn't want to admit it in case it messes up their cushy situation. I wouldn't trust any of these people. OP is dodging a bullet.

[@Bijecarli]

Op1: I can't believe op heard their explanation for their situation and STILL wanted to stay with this man. She would have never had privacy, as this man would have never changed the co-parenting arrangement. I'm so embarassed on her behalf for even entertaining staying around. 🤢

[@judithdeponte9540]

Two exes and both baby Mamas, says a lot about op's boyfriend

[@PinkMarshmallows]

Story 2: NTA. She wanted to "see if this would work"?! Bish! It's been **4 FREAKING YEARS!!** If it wasn't going to work out, then you would have left him YEARS AGO! She's just stringing OP along.

[@Davtwan]

Something tells me OP wasn’t the first he had to break up and will likely not be the last. He’s going to have to find someone who’s as secure as Fort Knox in order for them to be ok with those living arrangements.

[@SherriLyle80s]

He's making a harem, look out OP.

[@SingingMermaid4]

Bryce should have told her what the living arrangement was like. Also, let's assume its not a weird polygamy thing, and they just want to keep their family still pretty intact. I can understand that. Plenty of people live with exes to co parent with the kids, but still date others, honestly no judgement. But he needed to tell her like during the first date. Drop the bombs early lol

[@reinventingmelissa2061]

Last story: My best friend and I have been best friends since pre-school. When I got married, she was to be my Matron of Honor. OF COURSE. On the morning of my wedding, her FIL passed away unexpectedly. I didn't even LIKE her FIL, but I didn't for one single moment think she should have let her husband go home alone. Not for one moment. Life happens. Still got married. Missed her, but we're still best friends 25 years later.

[@missybuchanan9631]

That girlfriend missing the wedding to be with a dying FIL is triggering. A woman at my friend’s father’s funeral asked loudly why her partner of ten years was getting a hug because his dad didn’t die. My f-ing sister’s ex-husband of over ten years sang at my dad’s funeral. And they were only together for two years all up! Some people don’t get it. Some people are just built different.

[@triviasaturn9499]

Story 1 is just... Weird, in all the ways. Given that Bryan wanted for OP to meet his kids at some point, it would be the obvious conclusion to think that the relationship would be serious and lasting, and not some casual thing as with Baby Mama 2. But how could he ever expect to get onto other relationships if he can't even resolve the ones he left off? How can he expect another partner to merely understand the fact that he lives with his two exes? To me, him and the two other women fell into a comfort zone that they cannot escape anymore, but still expect other partners to be understanding. They're not going to change, they're just going to add significant others to the mix and hope for the best, and that's not only dishonest, but also cruel. And Bryan knows this, because if he didn't he would've told OP from the start the situationships he was in before she dived deeper in the relationship. They are weird for jumping OP, because she did the same thing that every other reasonable partner of the trio will do eventually when they discover they all live in the same house. At that point, it's time to start thinking about living their own lives like every other couple that parted ways but still is tied by their children. The only thing is, they don't seem to want to. And it's very nasty that they are enrolling people into their mess. Edit to add: and the people who gave YTAs, ESHs and NAHs are very odd individuals. One thing is to raise children in an unusual community enviroment instead of the traditional nuclear family. The situation in story 1 is not that. That's an emotional affair train disguised as a situation of convention

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

And don't forget, Bryce apparently also has "2 older kids" as well. I don't think OP should have pressed them to move out, she should have just moved on. I wouldn't be surprised to find out he and melody are still fwb

[@PurpleHeartsOnFire]

The weirdest part was that the meeting was set up for her to ask questions so she can be comfortable. Anyone would ask why are you living there if they already have an apartment. Like the whole reason why they lived there is because they don’t have enough to “get out” but literally has another place to live/f*ck. It blows up their whole reason to live there. Also one of them is engaged, wouldn’t she want to move out?

[@triviasaturn9499]

@@Original_Tenshi_Chan I think she was in such a state of shock that she started to try to bargain and change the situation as a last attempt to maintain the relatioship. Not very rational, anyone from a mile away can see that a dumpster fire like that cannot really be put out, but I guess her emotions got the best of her ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@jay2thaudy]

Story 1: She says "I was fine with meeting them earlier" regarding the kids. Imagine being that out of touch? 🤣

[@crawdaddy2004]

If my best friend’s parent or his wife’s parent was dying around the time of my wedding, I would be livid if he even considered coming to my wedding instead of being there with them.

[@rickraber1249]

Story #2: After 3 and then 4 years, saying she needs more time is just her way of saying a watered down "No", but she doesn't want to give him up. So to continue in this, she'd get what she wanted, and OP would not get what he wants. Deal breaker. Done.

[@jackwatt8988]

1: "he insisted on waiting till we were dating six months for me to meet his kids even though I told him I was fine meeting them earlier, but it's whatever" - it's for the kids, it's not for OP. What a complete burke.

[@randomusername3873]

He probably didn't want her to meet the exes

[@nuckingfutsguy]

story 3 sounds like the bride just wants you to show up so she can save face and not look like an ahole to the people who backed op up on not attending.

[@carlosenriquez8394]

In today’s economy, living with baby momma doesn’t sound like a bad idea if you’re friendly. But this dude’s collecting them at this point.

[@aduckofsomesort]

They are probably saving a ton of money living together.

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

What the heck is up with the comments on story 1? Do people not realize how weird this situation is? It’s not like she’s asking for the kids to be kicked out or anything, just that the exes should have their own place.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Yeah it is definitely weird I agree but it is not up to her to tell him to kick them out or whatever. He should have told her from the very start he is definitely a whole for that

[@hello93617]

Maybe he's decided that seeing his kids half the time isn't acceptable for him. But yeah, fuck him for that, prioritizing his children over his dating life. How dare he be inconvenient for other men.

[@zozocecp]

Also him saying they’re “not compatible”. He’s going to soon find out how incredibly hard it’ll be to find someone compatible with that situation.

[@randomusername3873]

Well, Op has definetly a say in how the relationship should proceed The fact that you are all acting like what he did is not a big deal is insane

[@hello93617]

@randomusername3873 It's a big deal, but it's not a BAD deal. She would have been NTA for just nopeing out. But she tried to change their living situation. I think it's very telling that reddit thinks that between the two scenarios, 1) he's a predator who has successfully brainwashed two women (with their own relationships) into starting. Adult with him, and 2) A lesbian stayed in the closet too long. This dude is somewhat sexually irresponsible, but he puts the well-being of his children above all, Number 1 is the most likely.

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

Story 1: So, I had to go back to double check, but OP never says how long they have been dating, but we onow its at least 6 months. Half a year? Why couldn't he say something earlier? Its kinda bs to try and pretend like this is all normal when if it was, why did they hide it?!

[@maranathaschraag5757]

the bride saying they would leave their partner to go to someone else's wedding makes it clear she's not ready to be ready. a true friend wouldn't have even asked. they would have said "it's ok if you can't make it." and they'd have a back up plan for a member of the wedding party not being able to make it.

[@treefittyforall]

To OP in story 2. She doesn't want to marry you, but she likes what you have going on. It's a comfortable situation for her. She doesn't want to be alone and living by herself costs a lot more and is more drama than working as a team with shared money. She's either hoping someone better comes along, which she will still leave you even if she did ever agree one of the first two times if they ever became available and showed interest in her. Let's say she has a 'reason'... Her telling you... "I'm just not ready and need to work on myself..." is a non-answer. What does that even mean? The fact she won't even tell you how she's feeling and what it means leaves you to wonder and that's just not a good enough reason for you to keep wasting time. If she can't talk with you about this so you can have a conversation where you can try to alleviate what she might be feeling how can you help her? How can you trust her to come to you when she is having a problem so you can help her as her husband? Consider this a bullet dodged. She's playing games and obviously doesn't want you and doesn't want to settle just yet INCASE someone she either is pining away for or someone better in any way. Good for you for calling her out on her BS and wasting your time. Ever notice when situations like this happen and a guy drops a woman wasting his time because she obviously doesn't want him and he wises up to it how it's all him being the a-hole? She, her friends, and her family are like... "You're an a-hole for breaking up with her! How can YOU throw away a 4+ year relationship?! You're being a baby!" What? You guys are almost 30 and have been together for long enough to where you both should know you want to live the rest of your lives together. Sorry, but after all this time she can't say yes it's an actual "No." Cut your losses, bro. Also, the fact her parents can't see how she's holding you hostage for a marriage that most likely will never happen and all those friends calling you an a-hole... Cut them out of your life, too. Her parents and friends would have always taken her side even if she was in the wrong and they'd be all over you on social media and through your phone anytime you called her on her shit. She needs to stand in the mirror and see who's to blame for the ending of this relationship. Women like this do this and push away a man who saw them as their one and only, the person they wanted to marry, and have kids with. Their soul mate... Meanwhile after 4+ years she's still confused? You're way more into her than she is into you and good job for no longer wasting your time. In a few years of relationships that never go anywhere and she's all used up and old she'll be complaining on social media... "Where are all the good men?!" In the garbage where you threw them away because you couldn't be pleased and was waiting for a perfect man to come along that you "imagined yourself with". This guy sounds like a good guy and a catch that wants to live a good life and treat a woman right. She's going to stalk his FB in a few years and see him married and welcoming children into the world. She'll be crying and saying... "She took the life I was supposed to have! That should have been me!" Boo-hoo!

[@blairn8748]

Story 2. Better to cut your losses after 4 years, instead of waiting 10 years and she still says no.

[@fnjesusfreak]

2. She wanted to keep the status-quo, he wanted to move up or move on - that's a breaker.

[@klararotenmayer7186]

Giant NTA for the first story, he should have told her on the first date he's living with his exes, that's not a norml or common situation and 99.9% of women wouldn't want to get involved in that mess. He wasted her time. Yuck for that guy i hope he never finds anyone 🙏

[@TwinGearHero]

Story 1: NTA Your exes are exes for a reason. The fact you don’t tell anyone you’re dating that you’re still living with your exes tells me you’re still in a sexual relationship with them.

[@hvymax]

OP can join the Sister Wives Party!!! At least he's not a Deadbeat Dad!!!

[@littleolmee]

S1: ESH. Bryce is an AH for not letting OP know what the living arrangement is. If they're in enough of a relationship for OP to come around the kids at his house & spend the night then OP should know the living arrangements. This is one of those deal-breaker things for some people. So before things go too far Bryce should let new GFs know what's going on. That said OP is also an AH for trying to tell Bryce what to do in regards to his kids, his exes, & his living arrangements. OP now knows OP's rights are to decide if she wants to be baby mama 3 in the same house, deal with this weird arrangement, or break up. Now OP needs to just leave them all alone & go on with her life. She got her say & they all showed her the road, it's over. S2: ESH. OP isn't wrong for deciding if GF isn't interested in marriage & he is then it's fine to break up. That said OP should have been having conversations with his GF about where she was in the idea of marriage, talk about a timeline, etc. Basically dropping another proposal on GF without talking makes OP an AH not for deciding he doesn't want to wait for maybe. GF is an AH for stringing OP along without making sure to let him know where she stands & then now for sending people to harass him. S3: NTA. The bride can be hurt & upset, but it's BS that the bride would leave her soon-to-be husband while he was grieving & watching one of their parents die.

[@Enriquez2222]

Story one, the guy is crappy for leading her on without being honest about his situation. Women without children should try and avoid men with kids, makes life simpler.

[@barbthegreat586]

There's no way in this world that I'd date/ live with a guy who still lives with two of his exes (or only one). And whatever he says, OP stumbled on a poly situation.

[@loiracitr]

"Even if I told him I was fine meeting them earlier." Oh, Gosh. It's almost like the waiting is on at the benefit of the children, not her!

[@francit4856]

Proposal........almost feels like the GF wants to string him along until she finds someone that sparks some magical feelings or something like that- seeing OP as a placeholder in case that doesn't happen by a certain time she has in her mind. OP DID dodge a bullet here. I hope he finds his real person.

[@diamcole]

Lol what kind of Sister Wives nonsense is going on here 😆 Edit: I'm honestly surprised she even wanted to continue the relationship and wanted to talk to the exes, that was the perfect time to make her own exit.

[@lauragarza7585]

Story 1 she’s not the asshole for being caught off guard. She’s definitely the asshole for making demands the way she did. Hopefully he takes this moving forward and is more upfront with his next partner. Also, OP shouldn’t date anyone with kids

[@jackiewepps4694]

Story 3: The bride doesn't understand how hard it can be to lose a parent. My grandma passed away earlier this week, and when we were at the hospital waiting for it to happen, my mom was really hurting. I still can't get used to the thought, but I don't spontaniously start crying anymore. I think mom is still hurting though, and she really needs my dad right now. Dad also does what he can to be there for her and make sure she smiles every now and then. When losing a parent, you need all the support you can get. Had I been in OP's shoes, I would probably have made the same choice unless my partner really insisted that I attended the wedding, and even then I wouldn't be sure whether I'd actually do it.