i don't know what to do

[@martaregn4092]

I don’t know if this is any consolation but there’s some research suggesting we’re in an epidemic of chronic fatigue. It’s for a whole host of reasons, and it’s been identified by economists as one of the contributing factors to the labor shortage. So I just want you to know that not being able to meet the obligations of a super demanding society (job, relationships, errands, PANDEMIC, etc.) doesn’t mean there’s something inherently wrong with you. Another aspect of this is we’ve engineered a society of isolated people through both physical and virtual worlds - our infrastructure, super long work and schooling schedules, and our digital habits all keep us isolated. This breeds anxiety and feelings of depression. It also makes it even harder for us to go out and do things because we’re conditioned in our little cocoons! We get stressed staying in one spot, and then we get stressed when we can’t leave it. And again, this isn’t just you - leaving the house IS stressful. We’ve made it impossible to get anywhere without a car - American traffic is uniquely bad. We’ve made it hard to go outside looking the way we naturally do. Our social networks is an unprecedented amount of pressure on top of these everyday experiences. The list goes on an on. All I want you to know is that there’s not something wrong with you. This is an objectively difficult time to be alive and there’s no “right” way to navigate it. You kept saying “I don’t know what to do” but my therapist helped me realize that we have to banish “should” from our vocabulary. Sometimes it’s good to stay inside, sometimes it’s good to get up and go - there’s no “should” do anything. One of the biggest things that helped me with these feelings of being unfulfilled and unhappy was thinking really deeply about what I value and acting in accordance to what those values are. For me it was like “I care about learning new things, so I’m going to read a book.” Keep doing what you can to take care of your health. Go sit in the sun from time to time. Hug and pet your cats. There are moments of light and happiness ahead!

[@notjustirene4302]

This is such an interesting point of view and not one I had considered previously. Thank you so much for sharing and explaining it so eloquently!

[@inthisnamewepray]

Thank you so so much for this comment, blessings to you!

[@lindseyrem]

So glad you're getting your thyroid tested! I have Hashimotos thyroid disease and the symptoms are fatigue, depression, and weight gain. I totally know how you feel. Sending love

[@1107mdm]

i have this too alongside coeliac disease, the brain fog and depression was insane

[@kendalldhoff]

Saaaaaaame

[@oliwia497]

I also have hashimotos, but have been medicated for 3+ years and I dont experience any symptoms anymore (however I know I need to take care of my body and know its limits)

[@dagne2958]

Same.

[@sammikimura]

Ugh your honesty is so needed on the internet. It means more to us than you know. Please be you, no matter what that looks like. We love you!!!!!

[@camillekeepsreading]

I’m proud of you, Joanna. Proud of every step you take and all the brave decisions you are making. Im proud of you for giving yourself space to figure out what the issues are instead of brushing past them. Your strength has inspired me for YEARS now and I feel like you are a true friend. I am so incredibly glad you are here and sharing these things with all of us. I love “sad-girl-who-does-puzzle”. But I know “happy-content-girl-does-puzzle” is right around the corner :) sending love, Jo. Sorry for the lengthy word vomit!

[@enderlene12]

I felt this! Last year had me feeling borderline agoraphobic where I couldn't leave my house and going grocery shopping felt like the BIGGEST feat. I started feeling guilty because of everything else I could be doing if only I was "better" or "healthier" or "motivated," and these THOUGHTS of what I "should" be subliminally taught me to believe that I was "bad," "unhealthy," and "lazy." We've had a traumatic year (years, tbh), and I found myself making it worse with spiraling negative thoughts (mostly about myself). I took a small step in meditating where I practiced noting my thoughts and feelings. Whenever I catch myself spiraling, I've learned to be easier and almost humorous with myself by thinking to myself, "you're having A LOT of thoughts today, go easy, girl." And I find it's been helpful. We're here with you, we see you, and love you!

[@dautuori]

I was thinking about you recently because I noticed you hadn’t posted in a while. I struggle with the same issues and so I’ve always appreciated your honesty in sharing them with your viewers. This video is no exception. Lately I feel like I’ve been struggling more than ever with fatigue, lack of motivation, and feelings of apathy and low self-worth compounded by weight gain. I’m so sad to know you’re feeling this way, but if it’s any consolation whatsoever, this video is hugely comforting to me. Today started off particularly rough, so this post couldn’t have come at a better time. I nearly cried with joy when I saw that you had posted a new video. It helps me feel less alone and more forgiving of myself knowing that I’m not the only one out there who faces these issues on a daily basis. Please know that you are helping so many people by sharing your experiences.

[@kaileemckenzie]

Been feeling similar and extra agoraphobic this year too. It's so inspiring that you're getting all of the tests and trying to sort it out!! You should give yourself more credit angel

[@ashd2799]

Couldn’t agree more, it takes a lot of effort to investigate and to seek help.

[@londonsars0234]

It is so fucking okay to feel EVERYTHING! I found myself these past months falling into old patterns of getting depressed, eating a shit ton of food, then falling asleep just so the day was over. I live in a new city, granted with my parents, but I always said that once I moved, I would meet all new types of people. I have left my house maybe 6 times. I just recently got a job at a retail place that doesn’t give me loads of money, but I work with cool people and it gives me a reason to leave the house and sometimes that is enough. You are incredible and don’t be ashamed of being a bit lost and not being your ideal self quite yet. In my eyes, you’re fucking hilarious and awesome!

[@jessicadonaldson1951]

Girl, I was crying with you. You are not alone. I totally relate. As I watch your video, it’s like watching myself! Hugs to you ❤️❤️❤️

[@Forestsfernsandfries]

I have never related more than with the “I don’t know why I am struggling” list of possible reasons. Sometimes it would just be nice to have someone tell us exactly what’s wrong instead of having to theorize about it and then explore those possibilities with doctors. I understand how overwhelming it is, and I hope you feel more like you soon. Xoxo

[@porcelainegg]

i feel everything to the core, waking up and just wanting to fill that void by doing things you want but also hating yourself for not doing the things you don’t want to do, i definitely understand and know how nothing can feel like it’s enough. I feel it joana

[@Rengels98]

I really relate to the crying while rummaging through an emotional support puzzle box.

[@elisabethsuttee2313]

I have no answers to these very real questions but “sad girl doing puzzles” is extremely adjacent to my experience as “sad girl doing paint by numbers” and truly whenever and whatever you share with us, I’m in. Thank you for letting us in on where you’re at and what you’re going through 💟

[@joannaspicer]

Ah yes I went through a sad girl paints by number phase.

[@vbradley1922]

This broke me, you’re so relatable and very raw. I hope that in the time that’s passed since filming this you feel a bit more content. Nobody really feels the full impact of the past 19 months and I think you’ve done a great job at addressing that! Take time, and stay safe Joanna merry Christmas x

[@Lightly_Saltyago]

I relate to this so goddamn hard. Your day, your feelings about tasks/not doing things, your ADHD, your energy problems, your feelings of hopelessness, everything. Do your puzzle girl. Tomorrow is another day. I think there’s a huge shift right now with how people are thinking about our society and our daily lives. The life we’ve built is comfortable and super unfulfilling, you hit the nail on the head. You are valid in your pursuit of physical and mental health but it’s also not just you. I think you’re experiencing what’s fundamentally unnatural about the way we live. You’re not alone. Community is dying and I think it’s ruining our happiness. People historically function within communities, not strip malls.

[@kurt1t1]

I strongly relate to “sad girl who does puzzle.” And there is no shame in that. There are plenty of us sad girls doing puzzles. Thank you, Joanna for being so raw. Love you.

[@sarahgalt8086]

You’re not alone, thank you for sharing this 💛 I’m sorry you are feeling this way too but I needed to see someone going through the same. It’s been a damn hard year. Much love to you, you will get through this.

[@zillamandy]

Oh, Joanna… I found you a couple of years ago, and watching your back catalogue of: Joanna doing everything and nothing? That made me feel so much less alone during pandemic. I love everything that you share with us!! From your cute relationship with Ted, to your decorating. You’re also beautiful. You’re in touch with your feelings. You’re a good friend. You do my fave “here’s what I’ve been enjoying” videos. You introduced me to Glossier. You read Cosmo magazine to us, and I died with laughter. You shared your phobia of flying, and made me feel less crazy. You admit to us when you’re tired, and you show us when you’re doing projects. You have a seashell chandelier. You wear a NYC sweatshirt (which makes me feel like I’m your big sister and I sent it to you). You throw pots. You love 80s decor. You are an amazing cat mama. You have a good man living with you that loves you. (Right now he’s showing us his toothbrush, up close. But I still like him.) I hope you have the best time in Canada. And I hope that I made you smile by listing some of the wonderful characteristics that I see in you. Adore you! 💕💕💕

[@keefswims]

i have literally every single thing that youve listed - the fatique the weight gain literally everything. I think the pandemic has truly broken so many of us. but it means SO much to see someone just like me struggling! knowing you are going through this makes me think i can too ❤

[@madelinehalimi2151]

I felt this so deeply. I feel like I'm in the exact same headspace. When you started crying, I started crying. Thank you for sharing

[@JordanVolness]

The inability to self regulate your mood and self discipline is truly one of the hardest parts of having ADHD. I relate so much to the emotions you are expressing in this video. It’s fucking hard dude.

[@writerrobyn]

I’m 49, live in LA, am single, and totally identify with how you’re feeling. I realized recently that I think what I am - and probably many others are - currently feeling, is the absence of anticipation. Anticipation about fun things is one of my favorite feelings. But after nearly two years of plans being cancelled or not knowing what was coming, or realizing that plans won’t be as expected, I’ve stopped experiencing that feeling. Which makes it hard to feel hopeful and motivated. I think we’ll get back there. But in the meantime we have to be more in the moment. Which also isn’t necessarily fun. But like you said, I think it’s okay to lean into it a little bit.

[@oliviastrouse5887]

Had to stop the video halfway through to comment that we all love you! I’ve been subbed to you since 2017 & have always connected to how real your content is. A lot of people on social media try to be authentic & I think you’re one of a few that can actually do it effortlessly. I’ve always appreciated your vulnerability & it’s made me feel less alone as someone who struggles with mental health too. This is all to say post what you want to post, & if you don’t have the energy to do “fun” stuff there’s a lot of us out here that just like to listen to you talk about life over puzzles :)

[@dautuori]

Yes to all of this!

[@sarahsmiles3334]

thank you for being so honest, you're so relatable babe

[@coraolson4280]

I'm so sorry Joanna-- I was diagnosed with ADHD at 25, right about the same time you did after having similar issues, and now this video really resonates with me. I cried along with you. I'm also medicated for anxiety, depression, and ADHD, and recently I've been so tired and gained 20 lbs somewhat recently for what seems to be no reason. I got blood work done last week that came back normal, but my mom has hypothyroidism and I really need to get all those thyroid panels done that aren't tested in routine bloodtests. It really sucks having to research and check off things one by one, hoping to find a breakthrough and to feel "normal" again, but honestly I don't know if I know what that feels like anymore. Life is definitely sad girl who does puzzle right now!! Basically, I'm trying to say I'm right here with you girl and I appreciate the honesty. It's just really reassuring to know that I'm not the only one dealing with these same issues, and I really hope things can get at least a bit easier for us! We got this.

[@1SarahEliza]

You’ve just described everything I’ve been feeling for months heck years..I was recently diagnosed with adhd. I also struggle with depression, anxiety, and am a highly emotional and sensitive being. I live unmedicated, and I spiral into several days of not being productive or motivated… yet desire creativity almost always leaving me feeling guilty and feeling lazy. I’m always super exhausted and never have quality sleep. My brain just runs my life in the most destructive ways sometimes. So yeahh 32 is a great year for me 😅 sending you lots of 💗 and hugs!

[@amandasmitthh]

i just want to say i’ve been watching your videos for YEARS, being 28 in LA and also dealing with anxiety, depression, and ADD i feel this all the time. i’m so glad you’re getting a thyroid test. my mom got this and got so many answers which was a huge relief. sending you so much love during this time!

[@probablyhyperfixating]

Your definitely not alone. Just had to put my kitten down and then got more bad news. Just wanna stay in bed until all this is over

[@heyheyhey7988]

I'm so sorry for all you are going through

[@joannaspicer]

Im so sorry ❤️

[@omgmakeup21]

mental health can be so isolating. whether you’re the content creator or the viewer. and while it’s always nice to see people in their $5,000 airbnbs and buying their chanel bags that’s not always how it is. and as someone who struggles w mental health it can be even more isolating to see the highlight reel of someone’s life and think well they’re so happy why aren’t i? i always appreciate your vulnerability. you’re so fucking real joanna and i really admire you for showing us those happy times and those not so happy times too. i just want you to know that even though you said you don’t feel inspired to be making content you have such a positive impact on so many people and honestly you could sit and watch a wall for 30 minutes and we’d watch you do it. we’re here because of YOU. you’re captivating and intelligent and funny and fashionable. and i hate seeing you upset bc in a way you really feel like a friend i’m wishing you all the best

[@vanessaalarie]

“Sad girl does puzzle” is what I’ve always been and we need representation too, to feel like we aren’t alone. I feel so much of what you described in this video. It’s a pit I can’t get out of. My therapist says to be mindful of negative self talk and be kind to myself, not beat myself up constantly like I do. What she’s asking of me seems as impossible as going to the gym, grocery shopping, etc. I hope someday we can find relief, or peace. Thank you for your vulnerability.

[@allisoncaballeros3600]

God I feel this so much. You’re not alone, and you’re absolutely right, we’ve all been through a collective trauma. If crying is all we do, we’re still processing and sometimes that’s what needs to happen. You filming this and asking yourself these questions is proof that you’re getting there. We support you, and we care so much about you 🥰

[@Notesofcitrus]

as someone who is SadGirlDoesPuzzle myself, it's a relief to watch SadGirlDoesPuzzle on here, thank you for this Joanna. sending you all the love!

[@MyFreakism1]

we love you joanna- every version of you. i can only speak from personal experience but i’m pretty sure every one of your subscribers is here because we want to be your friends. and just like any of my other friends i don’t WANT to only see one side of them- i’m happy to be here through the anxietys, and tears, and laughs and frustrations. the good & the bad. there’s obviously no pressure to give us anything that you don’t want to. i understand you don’t know who we are and we’re not actually friends. but please just know it feels like i’m tuning in to a friend when i watch your videos. it’s nice to just feel included in your life :) we love you, we support you. and we all want you to be okay, but we understand and love you regardless when you’re not 💛

[@thelavenderhours]

The way I’ve had these exact thoughts, word for word. “I WANT to want to do things” // “if we learned anything, it’s like who the fuck cares?” Thank you for being so human

[@SunnySteph]

I swear I have been feeling the exact same way, so fatigued and can’t explain why, I wake up in the morning and set out to accomplish all these things and get so tired to do any of them and then blame myself for it, it’s like a never ending cycle

[@dautuori]

I relate to this so so much. This describes my day-today experience.

[@SunnySteph]

@@dautuori it’s so hard because I really want to get out of this daily cycle but I swear I don’t know how

[@dautuori]

@@SunnySteph I know. I feel exactly the same way. It’s like this vicious cycle of waking up each day with the best of intentions and an earnest desire to change, only to be overcome with feelings of frustration and self-loathing at the end of the day when you’ve failed to follow through on any of the intentions you set for yourself. I don’t know about you, but I think one of the hardest things for me is fearing that to others, it may seem like I’m just not trying when all the while, on the inside, I’m fighting what feels like an endless battle of me vs. myself and wishing more than anything I could find a solution; something that will finally flip a switch and make me feel “normal”. As painful as it is, it really truly helps to know that I’m not the only person who feels this way. Seeing this video and then reading all the comments others have left sharing their own similar experiences is so comforting because it reminds me that I’m not alone in feeling this way and that it’s okay if I fail today and the next day and the day after that, so long as I keep trying and keeping fighting, no matter how hard it may be.

[@SunnySteph]

@@dautuori gosh yes it feels like I am the laziest human ever

[@dautuori]

@@SunnySteph Thank you so much for sharing these comments btw. They really have helped me so much. Also, I hope you know that as hard as this is, you are going to make it through. I’ll say to you what I think so many of us find it difficult to say to ourselves - you are stronger than you know, braver than you think, and loved and appreciated by more people than you realize. You are not a failure. You are a fighter and you deserve to be happy.

[@rosemarinetextiles]

i feel you!!! i feel you so so much. I teared up watching this. It's so hard sometimes. I'm grateful for your honesty and realness. I think what you said makes sense in regards to just putting one foot in front of the other and then cumulatively it will make you feel better. One thing that has helped me is to pick ONE THING I am going to work on and focusing on that. I also have a habit tracker and I feel good when I get to check my little box that I've done yoga for the day or journaling or went for a walk or called my grandma. It's a really difficult time and a lot of people are not ok! Of course the only people we see out in the world are not the accurate picture of how everyone's feeling right now. It sucks to feel creatively stagnant so good for you for even filming and editing and uploading this video. I've found a lot of comfort in following The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and doing those exercises to help me feel inspired again (which I need to take my own advice and do). It's a lot of commit to but once it gets your creative juices going it feels really good! sending you so much love xoxo

[@WhenInDoubt_Pink]

One thing that’s been working for me lately is to give myself time periods to push through, like an hour to clean the house… 20 minutes to wash the dishes etc. it’s been really helping. Hope you feel better soon💓

[@fermay13]

This really works. It has helped me in a terrible period of my life, it’s a great coping mechanism.

[@annafaitdesvideos247]

Thank you. This resonates with me so much.

[@katielydiatt6604]

Ugh the differentiation between feeling comforted and feeling fulfilled is something I could never put words to. I resonate so much with this vlog, and the confusion of deciphering between physical and mental health, and literally just trying to nurture yourself and ride it out. Hope you feel well soon and can at least rule out any underlying health stuff ♥️

[@janejanejanejane871]

This has been the past few months for me. Graduated cosmetology school, then put off looking for a job for MONTHS because i couldn’t bring myself to leave my couch. I love you Jo, thank you for being so vulnerable. It’s assuring to know other people are going through this.

[@porcelainegg]

wow actually same , i graduated in march and am barely getting a job and not even for hairstylist

[@disc0ndown1]

*Preface that each person is different and my experience does not necessarily inform your experience* Almost everything you described (fatigue, feeling like a failure, not understanding what was wrong with me, needing someone to be present for me to do work/anything, etc.) ended up being related to my ADHD diagnosis. ADHD is something I never suspected for myself until COVID hit and all of my coping mechanisms weren't effective anymore. It's also worth mentioning that symptoms can fluctuate for women, especially around our period. I really really hope you're able to find yourself in all of this because you're such a beautiful person. Your transparency is so so helpful.

[@lori6704]

I have been STRUGGLING. My anxiety is through the roof and I have no idea what's happening. I'm finally seeing my psychiatrist today and asking if it's just my anxiety or if I'm actually dying and should, like, go to the doctor. You're not alone and thank you for sharing.

[@amlockwood]

Literally felt like I was watching myself talk to myself. Thanks for being so open and comforting ❤️ proud of you!

[@colleenduffy8052]

Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and being so real with us. It makes me feel less alone in how I’m feeling. You’re so loved 🤍🥺

[@CosmicHoneyMotherShip]

Hey Boo, you’re not alone. A lot of what you’re experiencing isn’t new, and you are very intelligent so you are aware that the collective is experiencing similar stuff due to the pandemic and all the BS with economics and politics and out do control media outlet fear mongering.. or the opposite toxic positivity and unrealistic portrayals of ‘life’. Any who, just sending you some love. I’ve been through similar mental states through the past few years, and I found just radical self love as well as learning about chakras and ‘roots’ to emotional responses helped make sense of all the shit I was going through when intellectual/academic information ( aka psychology DSM terminology) wasn’t answering the questions I still had .. like the moment you had during the puzzle.. like why am I stop feeling this when I’m doing everything ‘right’..Learning about our emotional body, and energy centers really helped me target my emotions and what the root may be from a different perspective, which in turn helped me really heal/transform those emotions to like .. higher ‘vibes’.. I hate that term lol.. but I like to see it as just a higher perspective to what your body is telling you instead of looking at what your experiencing with traditional western medicine diagnosis. And don’t get me wrong, continue your meditation and whatever western modalities you’re doing ( I still do therapy and other western practices).. but it’s when I incorporated the additional learning and understanding about our emotional/energetic bodies is when I really started feeling some shifts in my mental health and just fucking ability to feel like myself again.. still going but lightyears better than before.

[@AceGangx]

totally empathize with u- sending all the support!! thank u so much for sharing and being so vulnerable.

[@dane1125]

Thank you so much for posting this. I am feeling exactly the same way. You are not alone.

[@madelinefaye]

Idk who you are, this is the first video I've seen of yours but I already love you 😂 you are so relatable and real and I am really sorry you're having such a hard time, be kind to yourself ❤️ I hope you have an amazing time with your friend ❤️

[@stephaniegeddes3549]

I literally never comment on videos - but thank you for your openness and honesty. It is refreshing and makes me feel less alone.

[@cozycatsncoffee]

I've been there. I've been in that place where you are just surviving second to second and nothing feels good and it feels like you're drowning. For me I call it burnout . And the worst burnouts come when i'm also experiencing depression. It feels like there's no way out. im so sorry i know how much it sucks, it's so painful and shitty. I've cried at the kitchen table doing a puzzle. I know what it's like when all I feel capable of doing is seeking comfort because i'm so starved for it. What has helped is being kind to myself. Recognizing during these times my support needs are higher. That means investing more time and money in my comfort and being OKAY with that. It won't go away over night but one day it'll feel slightly better than the last and that pattern will continue until little by little you have more room for joy and not just space for comfort. I'm sending you lots of love and hugs, you are so strong for even turning on the camera, I don't know many who could when they are in that place. Hoping the good days start to overcome the bad ❤️

[@ashantesstories2345]

You validated so much for me by sharing your experience. I have been experiencing the same symptoms and feel so frustrated that nothing I try is making it any better. I know you don't know what specifically is causing this but know that you are helping all of us by simply doing your best right now!!!!! Radical change is not always the answer right away. I am moved by your strength and vulnerability and deeply appreciate your decision to share this. Sending you warm, cozy, safe thoughts and so much of my love

[@spiciecarrot]

I’m so sorry, I feel like I’m going through something very similar and just not having answers or knowing what a solution could be makes it scarier. I have found making myself go for a short walk so I actually leave my house but don’t have to go in anywhere or actually do anything but walk helps. Sending you positivity and love!

[@francinegamil8755]

Hey Joanna, thank you for having the courage to open up and share with us on your channel. That takes alot to do. Please do counseling at least to vent out your concerns and frustrations. Maybe thru that solutions may arise to help you. Take one day at a time. But maybe schedule an activity that you do couple times a week that you can enjoy. Keep that as a routine for your week. Like going to the gym. That takes you out of the house couple times a week which will be refreshing for you. All of us need a routine and need to get out of the house. And add that activity to your channel so we can be there with you and support you. That's a first step. And do your counseling. I feel you, and like you I have to plan my week so I get up and do my job and make sure I have people around me. If not, it gets hard for me. I also picked up once a week lessons, piano, to get me out of the house and keep me busy. So make small steps at a time. Sometimes that's what it takes to get going. We all love you and have enjoyed your channel. So hang in there. Take one day at a time. And know that you do have family and friends that love and care about you ok. You can do this. 🤗🤗👍👍💖💖

[@wellendore]

I watched this video earlier and had to come back and take the time to leave a comment. I’d say this was hard to post but the honesty is seriously needed online. It’s made me feel less alone in how I feel and I literally couldn’t relate more to the anxiety of leaving the safety of home to go on what should be an exciting trip. I’m not feeling myself recently, I don’t know what I like anymore and I blame a big part on covid and the last 2 years. I hope you had a lovely trip

[@mattipaulsen2474]

Thank you for posting this, helps to see someone else going through something similar. Sending love

[@meredithhansen6691]

so proud of you for sharing your victories but also sharing moments like this where you don’t feel as productive/victorious. it’s SO relatable to me and i’m sure so many others. i felt like i was in this place earlier this year and i also have PCOS so i can relate to not knowing if things have more to do with your physical or mental health and not being sure of which to focus on. it’s HARD. but i’m proud of you for being vulnerable and trying your best even in hard moments. relating to physical health, vitamin D, CBD oil, magnesium, and my antidepressant have helped my anxiety sooo much. you could already be doing these things so i apologize if it’s repetitive- but i’m proud of you and giving you a big virtual hug. here for you always and cheering you on 💘

[@reedwinckler6346]

THANK YOU for posting this. v depressed lately and as bad as it feels to say this sometimes it helps to see others dealing with it too. xx

[@Nicklebackname]

Youre vulnerability, tears and chat is so honest and raw. I needed this ❤️ I am deff sad girl does puzzle ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@amyamy1507]

I really appreciate your honesty, I’m struggling at the moment too (feel like I’m crawling towards the holidays) and it really helps to see you talk about stuff being hard. I hope the videos help you in a way too, that’s it’s not just a one way transaction. I hope next year is brighter for you (and us all) and that things feel better soon. You deserve all the happiness and good times.

[@raventriplett575]

wow… you put how i’ve been feeling since september into the words. i wasn’t doing work, i couldn’t clean my house, and i self-sabotaged my entire semester of school and everything felt so hard. also, i was experiencing these periods of lost time; it would be 5pm and i would start thinking about what i was going to make for dinner and then the next time i checked the time it would 10pm. it’s just nice to know that i’m not alone in this experience and that recently i have started feeling more like myself again, but the bursts of crying and just moments of spacing out hit so hard on a personal level. and this isn’t like an other anxiety or depressive episode i’ve had before and that just makes it even more intense. thank you for sharing joanna! you’re the best and keep sad girl puzzling babe. all of us love and adore you so so much 💕✨

[@alinaahola7918]

sad girl does puzzle and buys expensive green loafers is literally the most relatable content i've seen all year and it's what i'm here for 100%

[@M1995C]

I relate to this so much 😔❤️ I cried with you

[@sononono6318]

You are 100% perfect and OK the way you are. What you said hits so close to home. It's so good to hear others openly speak about this, and feel validated. What helped me a little is knowing the difference between shame and guilt. Feeling SHAME for not doing this or that, what you think you're supposed to do (logical side of the brain), refers every negative thing back to YOURSELF - so you are the root cause of the problem, and there is a fundamental problem with YOU. Feeling GUILT for not doing this or that, i.e. something 'bad', is what 'healthy' people do - so you DID something wrong, but you are not the root cause of it, you are still a good person and perfect the way you are. It's just that you fucked up, but you can move on from the situation without beating yourself up. Just try to learn from the mistake. Also, looking into perfectionism is important. For me it is the problem of wanting to do something perfectly, or what I think is 'perfect' - usually on the first try - which is totally illogical. I believe it comes from the expectations I think are required of me by society and my parents to be deemed "enough" or productive and accepted in the (western) world, enhanced tenfold by social media. And this expectation is extremley crushing. Especially females have this innate need to be people pleasing, I think. The pressure to be perfect/do something perfectly is so great that instead of doing the task I freeze up and do nothing and 'escape' the pressure instead. This ALL or NOTHING approach is honestly mentally draining, and once you're in this catatonic avoidance state, then seeing people do all these things on social media makes you beat yourself up even more for not being perfect or doing things perfectly. YOU are the mistake, YOU are the problem. And so the negative spiral begins. And to get out of it you put all these expectations on yourself AGAIN, like 'go to the gym', 'do your work', etc. But when you are in an emotional, frozen, fight or flight state, your emotional side of the brain is in a sort of 'emotional STORM' and you are literally not able to reason logically. So trying to force yourself out of this state with logical and reasoning is literally impossible. Take off the weight of the world from your shoulders, put all expectations aside and replace the ALL or NOTHING mentality with a LITTLE or NOTHING approach. It is amazing what we can do when we stop assuming that there must be something funamentally wrong with us and this is why bad things keep happening (something we often internalize in childhood through parental figures), and ALLOW ourselves to be OK with who we are as a person - good/perfect/loved us AND "bad"/unproductive/unloved us. I hope that makes sense, and that you read this, because your honest vlogs and HUMOR most of all is what gives me hope and helps me realize we are not alone in this :) Lots of love from Germany

[@c.8058]

It felt strange to like this video because I obviously don't like seeing you (or someone in general) being in pain. I did give this video a like to show you how thankful I am that you are sharing this side of yourself, and to convey my respect for you for posting this video. Maybe you don't realise this, but uploading this video shows so much strength! Thank you for being honest and for being human on this channel (I love all your content, the funny vlogs - best sense of humor btw -, the interior related, fashion related, and also this vulnerable side). Wishing you and your loved ones happy holidays! 💖

[@c.8058]

*and obviously your make up content which I think were the first videos of yours that I watched more than 4 years ago

[@toniturner6742]

I love you. The cycle of mental health that has bouts of agoraphobia and the way it's so fucking limiting...ew and I can very much relate. I'm just so proud of the work you've done for yourself!! It makes me feel so empowered and like I can do those things to help myself too. I hope 2022 brings health, wealth, and happily doing what we want to without having to think about it 💛

[@lisahk100]

I relate to EVERYTHING that you have said!! Kinda feels good to know that I am not the only one. You appeal to me, make me laugh and I like sad girl doing puzzle and I will like to see happy girl in Canada! Thank you for all you do, it does matter and you do it well.....really.

[@ahhhndy]

The right thing to do is take care of yourself first. The things you need to do will be there but do what you can and what you know is going to make you feel comfortable and okay. I was where you are now back in August, I was so depressed and had no motivation for ANYTHING. I didn’t want to be around people and drive across town because that meant being away from my safe place. It was causing me so much distress and so much damn guilt. I also felt like a shell of a person, the only thing that helped was talk therapy. I did that once a week and now it’s going to be every other week. I feel okay and motivated…like I’m functioning, idk it’s such a weird but good feeling. Don’t be hard on yourself! It’s okay to not be “okay” it’s okay to not do the things you need to do. It’s okay to let yourself rest, maybe you just need that right now. Looking back I needed all that sleep because my life is so much different now vs in the summer. I just wish I could have been more gentle on myself. Be kind to yourself, give yourself all the love and rest you deserve! Things will change when the time is right and you will know when that is. Take care ❤️

[@elizabethpoe14]

so glad you mentioned the collective trauma we're all going through. it sounds cheesy but i hear you and i see you . sending love joanna

[@RenesmeCullenSwan159]

Girly I watch ur videos because they seem authentic and make me feel like I'm hanging out with friends and the weepy content is just as comforting and companiony as the happy silly content so don't u worry ur lil head about it

[@AiZAistheBEST]

I have never felt more seen than in this video. Thank you for posting this, I’ve opened up to a few people and they just didn’t seem to get it. This made me cry bc I’m sad how much I can relate but also happy because I felt less alone. I’ve been struggling with physical and mental health the most this year than ever before, and not knowing the cause or if it’s my brain or body making me sick has been the root of so much hopelessness. I wish with all my heart that everyone going thru this is able to figure it out and get through it, it’s not easy and very exhausting everyday. Thank you again for this video

[@yourfriendwhodoestarot]

but on a serious note, I feel exactly the same way right now and have no idea what exactly is wrong with me. but I'm deciding to forgive myself for that because I think so many things happened to all of us these past two years that it's difficult to know where to start when it comes to getting better. sending you a big hug angel x

[@vanessavaillant6829]

Sending love 💖 from another with depression, anxiety, and ADHD I really feel all of this and I don't have an answer but know that others go through this too.

[@simonedevigny]

Oh Joanna, I’m so sorry you were feeling this way. I relate to a lot of your content but I really identify with this. I get stuck on not knowing what do when I’m not feeling great too. Thank you for sharing this and making me not feel alone.

[@bysarahalexander4426]

Thank you for sharing this. I have been feeling very similar things to you. You are definitely not alone in this. I think a lot of us are feeling generally apathetic right now - especially people with ADHD who thrive within novelty. COVID has created a lot of sameness between our days and that makes it hard to stay engaged with your own life.

[@dautuori]

So true and so well said.

[@daniellejennings9016]

I am also Sad Girl Does Puzzle. Probably always have been. I'm so exhausted and burnt out, I can barely function. I have been f***ing up at work for weeks and I'm watching it happen, but can't stop myself, can't stop the cycle. Thank you for sharing your struggles and for being so open and vulnerable. Thank you for the solidarity. Thank you.

[@shanias6250]

i really relate to comforted but not fulfilled at the moment, know you are not alone and I really appreciate you sharing this joanna

[@animalia135]

I've experienced the same things you mention at the start of this video (fatigue, weight gain, lack of interest) and have very much related to recent videos you have made regarding this subject (depression, adhd, mental health more generally) and just want to share that reducing my anti-depressant dosage, under the guidance of my psychiatrist, has changed everything for the better. It felt so counterintuitive to me (and also scary), as the whole point of anti-depressants is to help with fatigue, lack of interest, etc. + the particular medication I've been on for years (Trintellix) is not supposed to impact weight, but the reduction of dosage has made a drastic difference. It's wild. I've refrained from commenting on other vids, as I know all of this is so personal and particular, but the continuous uncanny similarities to what you describe over the course of many videos made me feel it could be better to throw this experience out there than to not! I was a total sloth, I could not bring myself to do anything, and I have now regained a significant amount of energy. ~40 pounds of the ~60 pounds I put on have been lost. I now find that ADHD medication actually works and helps in the way it's designed to. I had no idea how much my anti-depressant was harming rather than helping, but after being at this reduced dose for ~6 months, the impact is very clear for me. Ultimately, I was told that being at the higher dose was necessary for the challenges I was experiencing at the time, but that the higher dose was now the very cause of the primary challenges I was facing (so I thought at the time + proved to be true through the changes I've experienced since reducing) was signal that it was time to go down. Apologies if this is inappropriate to share!

[@CorduroyCastle]

I've never felt more heard than when you said "I never made it to the gym, I just did a puzzle and cried." Your honesty is a reminder to me that other people do feel the way I do sometimes

[@peglakanta]

I never related to anyone mentally as much as I have to you in this vlog! Thank you so so so much for sharing, it really makes me feel like I’m not alone. I never seeked therapy and help, I wanted to but always backed out. Hearing you speak about the struggle and your experience makes me want to take steps in that seeking help direction ❤️

[@valerierawlins832]

Trust me Joanna, I feel you so much on this. I hope things get better for you.

[@mariericksen1150]

relating to you so hard. i haven’t been able to find motivation to do anything when i’m not working and it’s FRUSTRATING. we got this bb

[@elizadeath666]

This video spoke so much to me. Before I saw this I was sitting alone in my dinning room crying because I feel so mentally exhausted but also feel like I haven’t accomplished anything I need too. Your video made me feel normal, thank you ❤️

[@abbiephillips6236]

I normally don't comment on many videos but this is relatable in so many ways. It's probably the only time I have seen and heard someone else verbalise the things I have often said/felt myself when I have been at a total loss of how to move forward or what to do. From reading the comments it's clear others have felt and are feeling it too. Thank you for this video and for sharing 💕

[@lolo_marie8524]

Thanks for sharing- truly appreciate and respect you being so transparent. Sending you love ❤❤❤❤

[@Roachbug62]

I think MANY ppl can relate to what youre going through at this time, alot of us are too. Thanks for always keeping it real. Have a great time with your friend.

[@missbejazzful]

Dear Joanna, I can sense your pain because I can empathize with it so much. Although I'm not in the same situation, I literally have had the same exact thought as you thousands of times "I already take medication for depression, anxiety and ADHD...so where..what do I do now?" And it sucks so so much, because you're already doing so much work and then sometimes it just doesn't work. AT. ALL. And just the sentence "My job is to portray this version of myself, but right now I'm not this version of myself" - Of course, as a content creator, that dichotomy is immense, but I think all human beings struggle with this. And speaking for myself and probably everyone else watching you: we appreciate YOU. All of you, all versions and all moods. The fact that you're sharing your struggles so candidly is really helpful. So thank you. I've been struggling with a very, very toxic workplace situation but I struggle to evaluate whether I can push through or if I should quit. It's literally so bad I woke up feeling super anxious today and just feel like I'm at my wits end. But, on the other hand, I know having no external structure isn't great for my mental health either. Ugh. Life SUCKS. And anyone who tries to argue with me on that, don't even try. Lol. Yeah, it really sucks. There's also great things, but just existing in this world, with the pandemic going on for almost 2 years, climate change etc. etc. is just terrifying. Anyhow: I'm sending you so much love and hope you'll feel better soon, but also know it's okay to feel this. All of it.

[@emilyylalala]

wow i’ve been sobbing to this video. i can’t believe how much i relate to all of this. this is how i’ve felt the last year or two as well and it’s so fucking hard

[@ryannedwyer1556]

Being unfulfilled but unable to move or do anything about it. You are not alone much love!!!!!

[@margogutierrez53]

Thank you so much for talking about this! I’ve been struggling with the same thing so so so much this year, and i don’t know if it’s chronic illness, or adhd, or other mental illness or a big mixture of it all but it’s so frustrating. It’s so hard to get anything done at all and makes me feel bad abt myself. It feels great to hear you talk about it so honestly! I have not an ounce of judgement towards you, so i don’t know why I’m so harsh on myself.

[@Mrmuffinlol]

ughhh I feel you on every level... It's so frustrating. I really hope we can figure things out, and start enjoying life... ILY 💖

[@mayatessler601]

I was also facing similar issues last spring - it was medical issues that made it harder for me to handle a lot of other stuff, like you were saying. It can feel really overwhelming but even just an incremental change in my physical health made it easier to handle everything else. Just kind of getting a foot in the door, so to speak. I'm rooting for you!!

[@rachelfullerton5403]

Oh Joanna, I wanted to give you such a big hug when you were crying. I love sad-girl-does-puzzle. I am sad-girl-who-paints-rainbows. I appreciate you being so honest. Most people aren't even honest with themselves about how they really feel. You should be proud of your self awareness. Also, there is nothing wrong with you. Alot of writers/researchers have been coming out with alot of great work about burnout recently, which I believe you are feeling. We are lied to all the time and surrounded by toxic positivity. We'e told to try harder and hustle and then you'll be fulfilled! It's bullshit. We are humans who live in a world with broken systems and we blame ourselves. So please be compassionate to yourself. Your feelings are so valid and relatable. Perfect people on the internet are just manipulating us to make money. As for work, maybe try changing your mindset about what a job should provide. A job can just be a job that provides you money, stability and maybe some benefits (healthcare, discounts, etc.) We don't all have to have a dream job. I'm a creative too, and I get alot of pressure to start a business and sell things. But right now, I'm just doing creative things for myself. I'm growing just by doing the things and not sharing them on the internet. I hope you have a great time with your friend and that your visit sparks something back into you! If not, that's okay too. Just keep filling your cup first. Your relationship with yourself is your most important ❤️❤️❤️

[@1992jaclyn]

lol @ "I am sad girl does puzzle". This video is the most relatable thing I've watched in a longggg time. Thank you

[@kristinamoen9183]

I so feel for you girl!! I’ve dealt with so many of the same things! It’s totally ok to be sad girl does puzzle and be exactly who you are! Sending you lots of love and healing vibes 💗

[@noddycool2703]

It's okay to not do things for a while when it doesn't feel right right now. I am going through a rough time as well where I've been kind of hard with myself for not being motivated/ not wanting to do things. But I am learning to accept these 'low' phases in life where, I think, subconsciously there are quite a few things being sorted out in the back of my head until I'll eventually know what to do, how to change my life, what's missing or just start doing things intuitively. I think it's completely natural to go through phases like that. We are living in a world where that kind of positive thinking towards these 'negative phases' aren't accepted or seen as an illness. Watching your videos, I feel like, overall, you're on a good path, even though, I'm sure, things are very rough sometimes. In this video you say that it's hard for you to be inauthentic in a way ('it's hard that when your whole job is to be a version of yourself when you're not that version'), I think, you might be onto something. I can recommend to you Dr. Gabor Maté's (he's a physician) holistic point of view of how and why diseases emerge and manifest. He's written a few books. I think there's one book about the origins of ADHD as well. Besides books, there are a lot of educational videos of him on KZbin, as well. That might help. I've been on my own healing journey... only a few years ago I was really able to understand what that process entails and what to do to become a more balanced, strong and happy person. And it's very important to know that it takes time to change and to be patient. P.S.: I am one of the viewers that don't care for 'the content'/the materialistic kind of content, but I do really appreciate your personality and authenticity, so 'Sad girl does puzzle' is something I would probably watch :) Because it reflects reality and is honest. I think even though we live in high-functioning societies with superficial values we as humans connect with each other by being authentic. Sending love

[@saralynnyoung1456]

I admire and genuinely adore you and how authentic you are! You are always somehow so in tune with me and my life....thank you for putting yourself out there and making me feel not so alone!❤️

[@travellingfemme]

Make sure they take a sonogram of your thyroid. Blood tests often come back normal.

[@XXyerbuaXk]

Hey girl, love your videos. I had the same problem I was super fatigued and could not lose weight for anything. I got my thyroid checked and it came back I had hypothyroidism. Also I was deficient in Vitamin D which also causes fatigue and depression. It’s scary because it feels like your body is betraying you. I hope you get your answers and hope you feel better soon!

[@CecileMartin75009]

I relate. Hope you feel better soon, thank you for your honesty, so rare on the internet but so necessary. ❤️

[@pinkrocksmywurld]

Joanna, I've watched you for a while but watching this video I just felt really compelled to comment even if you never see it -- I also have ADHD and the lack of momentum and trauma of lockdown put me in such a tough space where I felt like I physically could not do anything I needed/wanted to do. A combination of forcing myself into motion and fixing my medication helped me so much. You'll pull through! I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Remember to be kind to yourself.