I don't want kids

[@dynishaabreu4544]

Theres no reason to attack you, your life, your choice!

[@andrewmeiklem5098]

40. No kids. Love life. See my friends stressed out and im so happy i can visit and then go home to quiet space ❤.

[@KarolinaWrites]

Sounds like a lovely life :)

[@orangejacket4551]

Me neither. I cant take care of them. I’ve tried with babysitting before and I just couldn’t take care of the child.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@orangejacket4551 must be hard to take care of one kid, let alone multiple.

[@elizarosalind]

We are so fortunate to be able to choose, I always knew deep down I never wanted kids but only felt courage to say it in recent years. My partner and I both love our independence too much. There is this beautiful fantasy of having children… but the reality of being a parent brings it crashing to reality

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@elizarosalind I can relate do much with what you've said here. I feel like people romanticise the whole idea of having kids, but the reality is utterly different. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[@elizarosalind]

@@KarolinaWrites we live in a crazy world too, I couldn’t imagine how a child would navigate this world!! I’m in my late thirties and I struggle myself sometimes 🙉

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@elizarosalind honestly, I have no clue how to navigate my life either, and the thought of having to show someone how to do that is even scarier. I'm sure most people who have kids do their best, but is that something I want to spend the vast majority of my life doing? I'm not sure 🤔

[@elizarosalind]

@@KarolinaWrites yeah girl, we have one life, let’s enjoy it and live it for ourselves 💕

[@3O2MuStAnG]

There are 8+ BILLION people. It's good people are starting to think and decide on this topic like true individuals.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@3O2MuStAnG it shouldn't be taken lightly.

[@calcium-ii4lp]

I agree that having kids shouldn't be taken lightly. Some people decide not to have kids out of selfish reasons but other times it's out of genuine concern about one's ability to raise children well. Sometimes it's both. I would never try to shame someone into having kids if they don't feel comfortable or prepared for that kind of thing.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@calcium-ii4lp yes indeed, it can be both. I don't know your personal situation, but do you plan on having kids?

[@calcium-ii4lp]

@@KarolinaWrites I would like to have 1 or 2 kids one day. However, it'll take years for me to be financially ready for that, and I'd need to find a girl that wants kids with me. I can understand why many young women today are unsure about having kids, so as a guy the best you can do is demonstrate that you're financially prepared and mentally mature enough to be a good parent.

[@Shaylarosee_]

Yes this is very much me 23 and I don’t want children.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@Shaylarosee_ what is your reason? Do you think you'll change your mind?

[@FriggaRedSkye]

33, I didn't think of being a mum when I was young and still feel the same way. I don't think I ever will be a mum, no instinct has kicked in here and I don't expect it to. I'm with the right partner but have no desire because of the medical risks, our financial situation, it's not part of my identity as a female, I'm not emotionally in that place and I want to travel. Whatever you choose, you'll do what's right for you! I'm changing even without kids but I really want freedom for myself as I grew up constantly considering other people's emotional states. I think I would be good but I'm on a mystical path too and other saints didn't have children either so I feel at peace with that.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@FriggaRedSkye thank you. It makes me feel a lot better that women out there feel the same. Society definitely puts pressure on us, but ultimately it's our choice what we do with our lives.

[@Katasia620]

I appreciate that you started by saying you were not entirely sure about having kids. I think that is a reasonable place to be. I would say just dont fully close off from the possibility. I used to say some of what you are saying when I was younger, but now that I have children, I love being a mother. It brings me joy and fulfillment in ways I could never even fathom or describe prior to having children. And childbirth? As a woman, that is an experience that teaches you so much about how strong and resilient you can be. You grow so much when you have children (man or woman). It's hard work for sure but the things that bring the most reward in life are never easy. Good luck and stay open to possibility. I wish you the best. ❤

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@Katasia620 thank you! I will definitely keep that door open, we'll see what the future brings. All the best to you too 😊

[@quadders9198]

I'm a 46 year old Brit male. Looking back I'd say 90% of the women I was at Uni with, or work colleagues or friends would proudly state they didn't want kids(back in 90's). Personally I now see this statement less about not wanting kids and more about making a statement of independence, I am the captain of my own ship etc. Anyway now at 46 half of those women that back in my twenties who didn't have kids never had kids and the majority of that half that never did massively regret it, cry about it, do things like freezing eggs etc. I don't see as much regret with the half that did actually have kids. These are my subjective life observations, make of it what you will.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@quadders9198 thanks for sharing that.

[@jmwoods190]

27 male here, and I find both pro-natalists("Just have kids") & anti-natalists("Don't have kids") extreme, cavalier and grossly oversimplified- Not everyone is in a position to have kids for a variety of legitimate reasons eg finances, personal situation, physical/mental health, etc. and of course there are various reasons why certain people want kids. Such things can change in either direction over time, or yet they won't and it's all okay. Everyone's circumstances are different, and only you can decide IF AND WHEN you'd want to kids, and I frankly believe that not even your own family should be pressuring you to have kids if you're not in that position. Live your life and see for yourself, and you shall find your answer eventually. PS For the record: I'm undecided on having kids or not, but if I ever do it'd be after I turn 30 as my current life isn't ready for a kid or two.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@jmwoods190 there's definitely a lot more nuance to the questions than simply having or not having kids.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@jmwoods190 for me it's the uncertainty as well. I like to have plans for the future, but when it comes to this one I don't have one apart from live and see. What if I'm so busy I miss the opportunity because I was enjoying myself too much and having kids simply didn't cross my mind, will I regret it? Wouldn't want to live with regret.

[@dracocaelestis6370]

you’re only 26. at that age i didn’t want kids either. i was also never a “mommy” type of girl and never daydreamed of having babies when i grow up. parenting is not for the faint of heart and just like you i wanted to do it properly, if i was going to do it at all. i was ok with both having or not having them. i also have an autoimmune condition that made me unsure if i could have them at all. in the end i had my first at 37 and expecting my second at 39. so who knows what’s in the books for you. don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right or because others want you to.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@dracocaelestis6370 thank you for your wisdom :)

[@kateparker2988]

You seem so apologetic in this video. There’s nothing to apologize for and you don’t need to worry about anyone else’s opinion. It’s your life. I get the vibe that you’re feeling a lot of pressure from society to make a decision. The way I see it, if you’re not feeling 100% certain that you want kids, then don’t have them. People are afraid of regretting not having kids, but there are so many people who regret having them but can’t talk about it because of the stigma. I got my tubes tied 4 years ago and it was so freeing

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@kateparker2988 there's definitely a pressure. However, I certainly won't have kids until I'm certain I want them, and that might be never but we'll see.

[@dallassukerkin6878]

It's one of those decisions that is entirely personal and yet, on aggregate, determines the fate of the whole species. If you don't want children then you probably shouldn't have them - a sense of obligation is not a good motivation when it comes to caring for people because it will, as sure as night follows day, foster a seething resentment over time. But far too many are being 'nudged' into not reproducing and, because those doing the nudging are experts at the technique, they think it is their own choice. The end result will be civilizational collapse and much sooner than people are generally aware of. The whole "There are too many people anyway" argument seems logical on the surface but, as with anything, moderation is the key ... the population falls coming in the next generation or two are *not* moderate. What happens if the old outnumber the young is that the economic wheels come off and quite quickly. When that happens the population levels plummet ... and not for 'nice' reasons. Combine that with the loss of expertise that is being witnessed (yes, I did just say the young are not as clever as they think they are :D) and very dark times are coming if the birth-rates are not restored to survival levels quickly. It's knowing what is coming that is partially behind the governments of the wealthy Western nations importing vast numbers of people - it's a prop to keep things going a little longer. But it will fail as those coming in are adopting the reproductive habits of those already 'here' i.e. the line will continue to steeply slope down.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@dallassukerkin6878 that's a rather apocalyptic outlook, but probably likely some day.

[@mstash5]

This saddens me.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@mstash5 why?

[@mstash5]

@@KarolinaWrites several reasons. Should I leave it at that, or go into why I think you may well end up regretting this decision?

[@jakejoyride]

I don't want the kids simple as that

[@KarolinaWrites]

Well, it's not so easy for women to just say that and for people to be ok with it for some reason.

[@j.l.w9563]

​@KarolinaWrites Well, the social control for child raising still exists it's just men are prevented from controlling other men due to the law and such. In the "Wild West", 30% of the marriages were shotgun weddings.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@j.l.w9563 I would agree that there are still social pressures and control.

[@j.l.w9563]

​@KarolinaWrites well, guys contribution is how hard they work and such - guys pay the majority of taxes. So it is more than social control it is the literal guns of the state. In a system without that imposition of force, women in general would be in more of a trade relationship with men.

[@kythrathesuntamer9715]

I don't either.

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@kythrathesuntamer9715 why?

[@kythrathesuntamer9715]

@@KarolinaWrites they take over yyour life become your single biggest priority it cost on average $237,482 to raise one that's at least a massive down payment on a home combine that with weddings cost and it's all just .... life hack don't do either. if you must marry elope and do it on the cheap. my hobbies can sometimes be expensive I don't want them being my primary focus um if I dated someone I want their attention on me as much as possible I don't want to have to be lower on her priorities than our kid. the planet is afflicted by global warming which is very real CO2 has a well known greenhouse effect which is easy to confirm for yourself with experiments if you don't believe and even if it makes plants grow faster you're talking unleashing it across the planet into a completely un controlled environment like that's only good for growing plants in a lab. I think it would be rather heartless to subject my child to what's happening to nature which is clearly pissed off.

[@j.l.w9563]

I can't really advise you on something like this. There are a lot of really horrible mothers out there. Women that get to about 50 and their narcissism takes over and they start telling their children what a burden they have been and all that. My question though is... If you don't have kids... What are you going to do with your time? For me personally, IF I could then I would probably have a lot of options. I have a lot going for me it's quite frustrating in a sense. I look good. I am kind of naturally muscular. I have that talented degenerate musician vibe, even if it might not be what I would choose and I have often found it easy with women. Felt I am very in control in conversation. I m also motivated to do gym and punchbag and such I have a lot of aggression. But I have a disability. So it's not an option. It's an invisible disability. But sometimes due to it I lose entire days to just sleeping while only being up for a few hours at a time and my money situation reflects this. I feel that the things that I talk about and am interested in represent a kind of spiritual mission in a way. I am good at music and the subjects that I research and talk about are off the wall and interesting. But I can't have kids so it makes sense that "God" in a sense gave me a "replacement mission" to, not fill that void, it can't be filled, but to subsidise it a little. Do you feel the same way? Do you feel that you know what you would fill your time with if you don't have kids? Is leisure and holidays what a lot of women like enough to fill that void?

[@KarolinaWrites]

@@j.l.w9563 I have a lot of things I fill my time with already, and still so many things I want to do, and I feel like with kids I wouldn't be able to do those things I still aspire to do. Though I know of people who have kids and still go after their dreams, but I'm sure the sense of freedom is not the same. Let's put it this way, I already have a dog and feel bad for having to leave her when I go away. With kids that feeling is most definitely worse. But it's not just about the feeling, because we can rationalise that feeling. It's more about not wanting to miss out on things with the kids, and sacrificing my own desires and things I want to do for that.