I feel like a failure..

[@halberthints]

❤ My dad once told me that college has one purpose, to let a future employer know that I learned how to learn. Trade school might be a better alternative. And by the way bro you are successful, because you're hanging in there and telling the truth! ❤

[@Jwool.mp3]

My brother said the same thing to me yesterday actually. I don’t think I want to do trade school, unless I find interest in a trade ofc haha. But I’ll keep my options open. Thank you for the donation my friend.

[@tasnya2008]

​@@Jwool.mp3I don't want you to drop out your not a failure stop talking like that I know you jwool

[@tomthumb3994]

@@Jwool.mp3 afraid to fail much?

[@RyzeYTGAMING]

​@@Jwool.mp3 look man, the only one who thinks your not a failure is Jesus Christ, God loves you so much he is the ultimate and true way to peace happiness, seek God brother.

[@WalterForsyth-t5g]

I too think that you should consider a trade school. For example an electric company lineman apprentice earns $70k the 1st year, + insurance, + vacation and + overtime. By the time you complete the apprentice program, you will earn $150k / year, + overtime, vacation, benefits etc. You don't need any special skills either, they will teach you as you learn.

[@Jerrymorrison]

College isn’t for everyone. You’ll find your path to happiness. You’re a great guy with a big heart. You’ve got this.❤️❤️

[@Jwool.mp3]

Thank you

[@rachael943]

Hi. I'm 49, old enough to be your mother, and I'm here to say college will ALWAYS be there and you are absolutely NOT ready for college right now. Your mental health needs to be your #1 priority and college needs to take a backseat. You can ALWAYS come back later. Get your depression, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation in check first. Go home, work on you, find the right meds, and finding the right meds takes time. You will ALWAYS battle mental health issues, but you can absolutely learn coping skills. Your frontal lobe is STILL developing. And will be for another 7 years. I PROMISE you you're going to make it!! But you will have lots of ups and downs and that is totally perfectly NORMAL!

[@YouthSupportServices-nj8gz]

Best advice I have seen in years.

[@ethanmichael17]

Agreed about mental health being priority for him right now.

[@MarkP-x9j]

James, this advice is so good. You can always go to college.

[@KipVaughan]

Just remember that going back to college will become more challenging later in life. When you hit 26 you are expected to get off of your parent's healthcare. You may may be juggling a rather full time job while you take your classes which is very difficult.

[@LoneFirResort]

This situation is all to common in todays young men. The pressures of growing up. He doesn’t need meds, he needs parents that remove parent pressure, create a safe space for him to be himself. I have watched enough of his videos to realize he lives in fear of his parents it’s a shame. I lived in fear of my parents didn’t want to disappoint, when I took ownership of my life and realized that no matter what I did was never gonna make them happy my life changed forever. That family counselor needs to create that safe space for him at home. I wish him the best of luck. What he does have it’s a lot of love and support.

[@lukasneco7712]

Good thing about this situation is that you realized it quickly. Some people spend years in college only to drop out later. I'd suggest finding a regular job for now. You will have almost a year to figure out if you want to try a different college next year or if you want to continue working. Just don't stay at home doing nothing. That can be really depressing. Keep pushing forward, and good luck!

[@wconsiglio]

Hi Jwool I used to be a college counselor, and I would remind people that when you think you have problems, there not problems at all, but transitions. You’re going through an important decision making time and a major transition in your life. They feel like problems because they hurt and it’s all unsettled, but it’s really an important transition time for you. You’re seeking to find yourself and what makes good sense to you. Remind yourself that what you’re going through right now is a necessary transition. You’re working something out which leads to a transition to something better, something that fits you better. It would be nice to see where you’re going and what that transition will look like when you’re there. But you can’t see it until you walk through it. It’s like being in a snowstorm. You’re walking along in a whiteout. You can’t see what’s ahead. It’s scary and feels insecure. In the meantime don’t worry about letting anyone down. You are your own man now. You’re finding your way. It’s ok to be in a time of transition and uncertainty. You need to figure out what fits best for yourself. Is it college or not, is it these classes or others, is it making friends, is it pursuing your KZbin interests also? College is lots of work and nothing pleasing is coming in for yourself right now. You haven’t found what fits for you. You haven’t made friends I guess, and you’re not enjoying your classes. Those are two big things bothering you. It sounds to me as if you are not doing what feels passionate to you. Not doing what you can feel enthusiastic about, what calls on your unique talents and skills and interests. You think you should have joined the military like your buddy did. But he may not be all that happy also. In the meantime, you are probably feeling somewhat depressed and anxious. Maybe not sleeping well or eating well. Thinking down about yourself, feeling you’re a failure, discouraged, I would suggest you take advantage of your college counseling services. Sitting s=down with someone and just sharing will help a lot. God bless you. Bill C

[@wilma14]

Hi Buddy, the haircut looks good! I've been in a really low place recently, severly depressed, having suicidal thoughts, and I've found you're channel. For such a young man you are very intelligent, articulate and emotionally mature and self-aware. You are NOT a failure. Please also bear in mind trying something and not liking it isn't failing. Failing is never trying. If college isn't for you then it isn't for you. You'll forge another path in life and be successful anyway! The last few weeks have been the hardest in my life, at times I didn't think I'd make it through. I'm 35 and I've dealt with depression for a long time. I have never been one to open up but I am glad to say that you have inspired me to open up. Today was the first day I have spoke to family about how I'm feeling. I found the courage to do so largely inspired by you! When you're videos can impact a strangers life like that then you are anything but a failure. You should be immensely proud. I am very grateful.

[@itsbrynnleebish]

Opening up takes courage, but I’m happy you did it. I hope you get feeling better❤️ your message to James is beautiful .

[@OwenAllen-z9b]

Sorry for your depression. Life is not always happy.....Try Jesus....He will help but your heart needs to want/need Him.

[@wilma14]

@@OwenAllen-z9b I have started praying recently 🙏

[@OwenAllen-z9b]

@@wilma14 Good. In life THE most important choice--by far--is "If you believe in God and if so, which God?" Without God someone/anyone has to fill the void with something else. It could be a serious hobby; or a relationship; or an addiction (drugs or sex/porn), BUT everyone needs to have some sort of key interest and 'worldview.' It only makes sense that all we see --the universe--didn't just appear or evolve... The only theory that works is that there is/was a creator. The key is to keep asking, ask ask, ask and ask...AND humble yourself and throw away your pride....You are trying to communicate with a vastly superior supernatural being...so you/we humans need to be humble. Good luck, dude.

[@pietro_f00]

It's okay, James. You're not a failure for listening to your heart and your mental health. Trust me, it is better that you don't force yourself to do anything you don't feel emotionally ready to handle, that would make it much harder. I know how it feels, I had to drop out of uni for mental health reasons. At the start, it hurt a lot and I felt like a failure and stupid, too. I had so many expectations that were unfulfilled. But I have learned with time that just because something doesn't turn out as we wanted, that doesn't mean we're doing something wrong - it simply wasn't your path. It feels like a big deal, and maybe scary now, but that's because you're embracing a new version of yourself and an unknown start. The unknown is always scary. But it's okay, keep going on listening to your needs, and your mental health, and follow what makes your heart happy. You'll soon find yourself again and discover that there was a better way all along. Sending love and healing. x

[@tayzonday]

You are young. You are a good person. You can be anything. Bill Gates, Oprah and Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of college. Tyler Perry never attended.

[@Jwool.mp3]

you’re right my friend. I got lots of time, it’s just hard to look into the future right now and see success. I think I just need my life to be a bit more structured, and right now everything is scattered around

[@constantspirit2561]

Zuckerberg dropped out because he knew he already had someone's dream in his OWN pocket. He's traitor to all who use the % ^ of the internet. HIM, just like bill gates STOLE what they learned from others. NO RESPECT> DO your research my friend. . . . .A

[@douglasjensen8986]

What a terrific haircut!! I cried with you. It really helps that you have over 27K people who you can talk with openly about anything, who care about you, and who are here for you. None of us have the emotional support structure that you have. You know that going to college at this time is probably not what's best for you emotionally, and perhaps professionally. You are not a failure, we all know that you will find a way forward.

[@penguru21]

My first semester of college I moved away and was horribly depressed. I hated it. I moved back home and attended a local college and that worked better for me. There are tons of different options. Every person's time line is different. There is no right or wrong.

[@Kyles000]

I just saw the thumbnail and let me tell you you are a blessing and we all love you. We are here for you and never leaving, failing is better than quitting, and college isn’t for everyone, but use all of this bad stuff as motivation, and there’s nothing wrong with crying. I’m still gonna watch the video of course but just know you are not alone and we got you. 🤝

[@brendanlevy6359]

Hugs for you James My Friend, I cried along with you watching this video 😢, I lasted a week and a half in college( wrong degree( Business Entrepreneurship) and I was dealing with severe mental health issues and my brain injury( shot in the head freshman summer HS) was still pretty fresh. I kept the Charade up with my Parents( that I was still going) just drove around smoking a zip of herb a day. My Lifes been hard( never chased my dreams( Music, Comedy, and Acting) I was in a bad spot when I found your videos( 36hr trip lsd) was about to end it then I found your channel accidently your videos helped me and saved my life Your a true Beacon of Light, whichever you decide staying or going back to Flagstaff you can always go to a local college or do online classes remember witchever you choose ,your not a Failure, I went thru my whole life with my head down believing that about myself, in truth it's all about meeting the Write People who love you For You and share your passions, Your the Best James, Your Loved by Many , Hugs to You My Friend ❤️, Luv you Bud( I'd love to colab with Music, and movies My Friend 😢😊❤🎉

[@brendanlevy6359]

Lay everything down on the table about what your going thru at your family therapy session 💯 your Mental Health and Well Being is the #1 priority Luv you James your Not a Failure 😊❤🎉

[@Doug_E_Dee]

Anyone who can be as vulnerable as you are on every video is not a failure. Love you bro

[@SnowDust87]

Hey James. I’m 37 and can tell you from experience that, even if one door closes, another opens. I failed to get onto the degree course I wanted twice and eventually took another class. I used that degree for a few years in a job I didn’t particularly love. And then, I fell into something that I had never contemplated when I was in my early 20s - I love it! I am financially stable and have a happy life. I also struggled badly with anxiety and depression and, thankfully, that is under control with the right meds. I guess what I am trying to say it, this is just a bump in the road but it also could be a great opportunity to work on your happiness and, who knows, maybe KZbin will become your main job. Try not to worry too much and be kind to yourself. You’re not a failure at all. College is not for everyone and you have a whole lot of new experiences ahead of you.

[@melvinrobbins1996]

Dude, I’ve been in your shoes. First semester of college and the work load was SUPER overwhelming and it killed me to drop out to not finish but in the end, I turned out fine with a good paying job. College isn’t for everyone but it’s always an option to further your education if you ever choose to attend again in the future.

[@alvinyax5953]

Did you know most college graduates end up changing their field at least once. Many change their career choices 2 times or more. This makes you totally normal. You are not a failure.

[@alvinyax5953]

By the way I like the new hair style. 😂

[@johnalank]

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. Oscar Wilde

[@johnalank]

The past is not real, and neither is the future. Now is real.😅

[@brmadden895]

Have you looked into Community Colleges? Many of them offer 2 year degree programs as opposed to 4, and classes are typically designed for those with day jobs. It's a less intensive option, and many of the credits are transferable to a 4 year school if you change your mind.

[@Jademc123]

i definitely recommend community college! I

[@jaydee-u8r]

College isn't for everyone. The best decision I made in my long 36 years was to drop out of college. Find what you are truly passionate about and do it.

[@trentschmidt74]

If you want to be full time on KZbin I think your messaging of helping others that go thru this anxiety that youre going thru is a great option for you. Just be yourself!!!

[@Amelia-y8m]

Your not a failure. Even if you feel like you are, it doesent define you. Take things slow

[@Amelia-y8m]

Also like the new cut!

[@Jwool.mp3]

Thank you, I’ll try to be nicer to myself

[@journeycalled_life]

Dear Jwool, You do not find your next course of action by worrying and searching for it. We all experience setbacks! Life never usually pans out exactly how we expect it to. You are so young, don't put so much pressure on yourself! I am just now finishing up my associate degree in criminal justice, but I have now switched my major 2 times. I have decided criminal justice is not for me after all. Now I have to figure out something else. But it happens! I will figure it out in time. Life has a great way of working itself out exactly in your favor. You have to trust that everything will work out even though you don't know what your future will look like. It is OK to not have everything planned out. You will achieve great things! Believe in yourself! With love and support, a stranger from Michigan

[@RIVERmusic_17]

You are not a failure, James. College isn’t for everyone. And think of this: not going, is gonna give you more chances for new opportunities! And you don’t need to push yourself to do something you don’t want to do, especially if you don’t know what you want yet. Stay safe, happy and healthy friend!💜🫶🏻

[@UnbreakableStud]

This is really relatable, college isn't for everyone and if you have a passion for this, you should follow it and trust your gut ❤

[@constantspirit2561]

What about trusting God Christian friend? As I've heard you say in your vids as well?

[@maxwelldeming2655]

Ive had people close to me share similar struggles one thing i can assure you is tbat your family and your loved ones wont think your a failure, if they love you they will understand whats best for you and that your health is more important

[@MUSIC-SIRENS-ETC]

I'm sorry to hear that you're not having it. we all have those times as ourselves, I hope everything gets better for you my man!!!!

[@ava0320-y1c]

Jwool, it's obvious that you're not ready for college and that's fine! It's not failing by following your gut instincts. You're only 18! I'm 18 and I purposely took a gap year after high school to avoid the same pressures you're facing right now. Take a gap year or two to discover who you are and what you want. No one as young as us should be expected to make such a drastic move with such ease! Hang in there... there's no set criteria for navigating life after high school. You do you.

[@WilliamBtwFN]

The new haircut is fire

[@laisejs]

my dad would say: do you own thing while being in there, do your own projects, go to the classes that you like, do things that you like, talk to friends that you like, just be out there and try to get the most out of it let grades be your far priority and focus on growing as human i'm going through similar situation and i'm struggling so much to follow his advice, but i know he's a wise man so maybe you can take some value out of it good luck bro, u r not alone

[@ericgman1]

Hey man, I wasn't ready for college after high school. I hadn't reached the level of maturity to be successful until the age of 25. A few years made all the difference, and I went for it

[@maxwelldeming2655]

Honestly i feel like if you can get through one more quarter in college, until spring, it will get better and college will be easier and thats when wveryone starts to feel comfortable and more social

[@mrfacespace]

You know, Jwool, just find what makes you happy. Or, what you’re willing to work for. Sure, it’s not always easy figuring these things out. But, stop with being so hard on yourself. This thing about feeling like a failure is kind of your own creation. Do you know what I mean. We try things and some work out for us or maybe some don’t. You’re a young man, process your experiences and learn, learn, learn. That job #1 right now. Give yourself a bit of time to figure things out. Past, present future? Omg, how much can you worry in one video? I think you need to address some of the basic tensions and anxieties you experience. You’re probably being followed by a psychiatrist, but have you considered psychotherapy? Take it or leave it babe, I’m sending you a big hug. (btw: let me know if you want that skateboard) PS: Being concerned about missing people you met at college, your feelings about that are absolutely valid. It wasn’t my intention to discount that. Of course, it’s not necessarily an easy decision to not return to college. Give it some time though, you’ll figure it out

[@EricC-y3h]

Definitely a a rock and a hard place situation. I wouldn't try to sway your decision either way. I have a tendency to bolt when life gets difficult and then stress on if I made the wrong choice. Maybe think long and hard about before making a decision. Keep your head up man. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[@malachisuniverse7712]

You aren't failure, failure is giving up, you're strong. You have this. It's yours.

[@matthewlatona8515]

Hi James! During my first year of community college (2021-22), I was a computer science major and had to withdraw from two classes my first semester (would’ve had like a 1.9 GPA my first year if it weren’t for the two withdrawals). Ofc coming out of COVID didn’t help, plus I was facing some other personal issues. After my first year, I switched to majoring in math/statistics. My GPA jumped from a 2.6-2.7 to a 3.2 after retaking Calc 2 my last semester, allowing me to transfer to university on a scholarship. Now I’m set to graduate next spring with a bachelors in statistics, and I feel much better than I did 3 years ago. Just know you’re strong and if you need a break from college/schooling to focus on your mental health, then that is what’s most important for you. Looking back, I think I could’ve used a little break from school after I graduated. I most certainly would’ve taken a gap year if I graduated the year before. P.S. I like your new haircut. I just got one too :P

[@patricknorris902]

James I've been wanting to write to you for many months now. First and foremost, I want to thank you for the valuable community service you are providing through your channel. Regardless of whether it was intentional, "magic" was created when you began providing a safe space for people to be who they are, and to share their mental health struggles, identity journey, or just be themselves. I don't think you could have done it without taking a big risk by sharing your own day-to-day journey with authenticity and vulnerability. And, you have by your live streams given others a chance to feel welcome and heard too. The world needs more of that. I would like to post more, and will do later today. Thanks for facilitating this safe space.

[@aloysionovais2080]

Let me tell u one thing: WELCOME TO LIFE! Failing is a process that happens to EVERYONE! Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs, a lot of succeed musicians have failed in the past. U should focus in not blaming yourself, but in what can be learned with this experience. Here in Brazil there is a saying that says "Even a kick in your ass is capable to make u step forward".

[@NathanielBYT]

Ay man 21, dropped out once and am on my second restart for college. It isn’t for everyone AND THATS OK!!! You’ll find your way James. I love ya dawg you’ll be ok. Deep breathes my man.

[@zoebcraft]

Hey James, I've been meaning to comment this on one of your previous videos but I just wanted to share a little bit of my story. I'm a sophomore in college now and I was going through pretty much this exact same thing a year ago. I was worried about wasting money, earning a degree that wouldn't be a good return on investment, wondering if college wasnt for me, not knowing what career I wanted, wanting to take time off for my mental health, wishing I took a gap year, feeling ashamed of myself, etc. I was contemplating between leaving after the first semester or sticking it out through the year to see how I felt, and I ultimately decided to stick it out for the year. I still dealt with similar internal issues for a while but over time, I began to see the light in this situation and by the end of the year, I decided to stay and was really excited about coming back. During my second semester, I started utilizing resources on my campus such as the schools counseling center and career center, which helped me to see that I have various options for my degree which is one of the ones some may consider "useless". However, I came to realize that while some degrees such as engineering may ultimately pay better than a degree like film, nothing is ever useless, it just depends on how you network and market it while you are in college. Things like joining clubs related to major, applying for internships, connections with your professor, will greatly increase your chances of having a job after graduating and even pay prospects. I also started talking to upperclassmen I knew from clubs, and even joined a few new ones thart helped me to expand my social circle which helped me to learn from peoples experiences and gain new advice from that. I do not want to invalidate your issues at all and I honestly think its great that you are coming to this realization early on so that you have a better chance of learning how to navigate through a tough time like this. And ultimately, if your mental health is truly at stake and you feel as if you can not continue, then by all means, take time off in order to get the help you need. There is no shame at all in doing that. However, for myself and a lot of other people I know, it usually gets easier after the first semester. My advice is if your not at risk of putting yourself in potential danger would be to stick it out for the full academic year and then reevaluate. I know it seems impossible and that things won't get better from here, but I felt the exact same way a year ago and I couldn't be more pleased with how things have turned out. I am still dealing with some other challenges this school year, but the coping skills and advice I learned last year has helped me to better cope with them by knowing there is always light at the end of the tunnel. If you decide to stay, I recommend maybe getting a part time job on campus if it is doable for you because they work around your class schedule and can be a great way to gain work experience, meet new people, and learn which career environment you like and do not like. I would also recommend joining some new clubs, using your resources on campus like the career center, and talking to the right people regarding how you are feeling (upperclassmen, counselor, professors even). I wish you the best of luck with whichever you decide and I believe things will get better for you and you will find your way soon. Lots of love

[@williamstumpf6400]

Nice hair style, 😁 keep doing what you can do and things will fall in place,❤God bless

[@Thecalector]

What ever you chose I hope it makes you happy Hello I just finished watching your video and I just reminded me when I broke down crying ing school cause I was worried about everything and holding some things in from a while ago and trying to have a better relationship with my parents cause my mental health is not good and I can't talk to my therapist cause my parents didn't set a appointment but I got it I smile and try to make people happy

[@federicobell0]

I have learnd to know you. I'm a 30 yo man from Italy. Here is different. I mean, we don't live at the university. Everyday we come back to home or if we are far from home, we rent a room, but it's not just that. Many guys don't go to university. Maybe it's a bad thing but it's kinda normal. I've been following you for a lot of time and i'm sure you're not a failure. I understand your mental state, i can relate to you. You are at the firtst position. Do what makes feel you better. You will have successul here on KZbin or you will find a great job and a great person to love. Or, why not, when you will ready, the college it's there. You con always come back but not now. You need to think about yourself. 🇮🇹💜

[@PerseusThePlatypus]

Its not a failure if you stop an act that doesn't align with your purpose. Simply a re-direction.

[@GregNelson-e6f]

I love your haircut. You are not a failure!! Take it easy on yourself! College isn't for everyone and is not the end all to everything. Give yourself a break. You deserve it!!

[@joebonaiuto5554]

Do what feels right for you! I wasted 3 years forcing myself to attend college, finally dropping out as my grades fell thru the floor, and frustration exploded. I worked for a while, then went to community college for programming. Two quick years of school, and I landed a nice job. Within a few short years, I was doing great and never looked back!

[@equinoxstudio8205]

You’re the captain of your own ship. What others think is none of your business. The correct thing for you to do is whatever YOU decide to do. Behind every NO is a deeper YES in favour of what you want. It takes great courage to makes such a decision. College is not a measure of success. Staying true to yourself and what YOU want is the true measure of success. College is not a measure of success. When it comes to integrity you’ve already achieved success and graduated with first class honours.

[@hunterfournier-j6z]

dude, i am 13 and have thoughts. i seem happy and everyone thinks i am but im suffering and getting pushed to my ege. pls dont feel like ur a failure because i know how it feels and ik im 13 but i understand you. i understand you you need to listen im giving you a vertuil hug. if i can make it and yes i know that its diffrent for you but if i can make it you can make it. i hope ypu reconize this commet evan though i mean NOTHING to you but come on brother we need to stay here.

[@biggiecinnamonTV]

You should make a video about letting go and moving on. It would help me lots, man❤

[@rubengreenberg2253]

The darkest hour is before the dawn.

[@wesleyhortenbach3557]

Very relatable as usual. Hang in there. Sending love and solidarity

[@john_d210]

The first year of college was a PAIN in the butt for me. All the classes I didn't want to take but had to for my degree. Once that was done and I actually got to choose the classes I wanted to take for my major, I enjoyed it. But I get it, it's not for everyone. I'm not even using the degree I got lol, I'm in a different career path than my bachelor's degree.

[@SomeRandomStudentWatchingVideo]

You’re not alone I dropped out of college this semester too, freshman, and the worst my mental illness has ever been. I haven’t told anyone except my mom I haven’t even told my friend that I haven’t seen in a while myself and yeah the whole “feeling stupid” for it is relatable

[@tomthiesfeld5035]

James, I'm sorry man you are going through this. Just remember us on KZbin care about you and we're always here for you. I'm sure something will come up, as you are a smart young man with a lot of potential. Hang in there my man!

[@BillyGeorgeWilliams]

As a First Nation's Film Director I use to be like I was failing, no one wanted anything to do with me, I kept going and kept doing. My passion was filmmaking since I was 25, and I started a business of filmmaking. Filmed what intrigued me and edited my films as well. All I can say is to follow your heart, your passion, what do you want to do. I was born with club feet, deaf in both ears, taken out of my home at 3 years old and taken to residential school. I was almost killed in residential school, I was transferred out and put into the foster care system here in Canada. My late foster mother fought on my behalf with the family doctor to have my feet and ears looked at to see if it was possible to have operations on them. After two years with arguing with the family doctor, he finally made arrangements to have my feet and ears looked at. After series of operations on my feet and ears, the first time I walked straight I was 10 years old, and the first time I heard I was 12 years old. But I was kicked out of the foster care home at 13 years old and social service agency put me on independent living at the age of 13. This is 9 months after I first heard, I didn't even know what a knock on the door was. I asked what is what she said, and the supervisor said to me that I would be living on my own, because no one wanted me. Let that sink in for a while. Two weeks after I was on my own I went for a long 2 hour walk on a sunny Sunday afternoon. A van pulls up and he asked for direction and I pointed to where he needed to go and he starts to drive off, but he stops and reverse back to where I was and stops and he rolls down his window and asked if I could show him and he promised that he would drop me off anywhere I wished. But he didn't, he instead drove up a mountain and he stops. He looks at me and tells me to take off my clothes otherwise he would kill me and puts a large fishing knife to my kneck. I complide and he did what he did and then proceeds to drive off, and he looks at me and tells me to get out or he would kill me. I jumped out of the van stark naked and rolled on the gravel road. I layed there in my own blood and all I thought was is I want to die. An angel came and he asked what do you want to do? I was crying and said I want to die. Again, the angel asked what do you want to do? I said I want to die loudly. The angel asked in a more gentle way what do you want to do? I thought about it as I laid their crying and said I want to live. Today I'm a filmmaker!

[@rasmus7015]

I feel you. It sucks, I couldnt make it through a single semester. Thank you for the video

[@kzydsjdus-ox3in]

You're a brave person for speaking your truth. Maybe its best to take time for yourself before going straight into school. whenever you feel focused on the past or present take a minute to focus on your breath. As someone who non stop thinks about their past this helps me a lot.

[@swimtron]

Its ok bro, everyone has their own path and it takes time to figure things out. I had an unconventional college experience has taken me longer to get to that finish line and at times i felt stuck. It can be overwhelming to look at the bigger the bigger picture so just take it a day at a time. You have a lot of courage for being able to be so vulnerable and honest about your situation.

[@ericgen1231]

Words of encouragement and inspiration for you: contained in the word Impossible is I'm possible 😊

[@kendylkirk1239]

James you're not a failure you and your channel have helped SO MANY PEOPLE. I'm doing better but over the past year I have had trouble staying happy and this channel was my comfort source.

[@rayforster1]

I went to a community college to placate my parents. I dropped out after 1 year, joined the Marines, learned a trade, retired from that career, went back to college, became a teacher, retired from that career and I couldn’t be happier and wouldn’t change a thing.

[@briankiefer856]

College doesn’t determine the man or the person you’re going to be. There are other opportunities in order to provide a great living for yourself or for a future family. Trade schools such electricians, hvac, plumbing, technicians, and welders are great career fields to pursue while building your future on KZbin. Those career fields don’t require you to be in debt for the rest of your life either. As soon as you reach a journeyman’s status, your income potential is unlimited. As they always say, diversify your experiences. A Tradesman is not subject to the everyday cutbacks and effects of a recession either. Plus, those skillsets will never expire and will pay back great dividends as a sideline,(something to fall back on), or a primary profession. You made an excellent decision not to enlist! Trust your gut!

[@deanbos]

I see so much of myself in you when I was your age. It took years for me to find the right medication to deal with very serious depression and anxiety. But once I did find the right antidepressant, it changed my life completely. You are clearly a very intelligent, kind person and I hate seeing you like this because I know from experience it will get so much better. I too went to college right after high school but only lasted about a year. Then in my late 20’s I went back, graduated 3rd in a class of 900 then went to law school. But I never would have been able to do that if I hadn’t accepted the help to work on pulling my mental health together. It was just impossible the first time around. So, I agree with many of the other comments. You are just not ready to benefit from college right now. Take care of yourself and your illness. If you can get that out of the way now, you will be so glad you did it. There are always bumps along the way, but in the long run, I believe that you will have a long happy, healthy life ahead of you. But you need to take the time for just you and your health now.

[@elijahyoung8116]

I myself have struggled the past year with grief and depression. there have been times when I’ve wanted to give up. But what I’ve learned is people can help you on the journey to recovery but you have to work to. I know it might seem like a lot to handle but if you have people you trust and professional help eventually you can start feeling better

[@1984Christopher]

Failure and mistakes are only so because we don't learn. If we learn from them then they are life experiences. You remind me of my son. He was very intelligent yet hated school. He didn't want to do the college thing. He wanted to start his own business. My suggestion is to look at your college situation differently. Dropping out doesn't make you a failure. College is not as important as one thinks you can still be successful as long as you pursue your goals. You're still so young don't worry so much. True facts: I have a college degree that I do not use at all. Yet I am perfectly happy and successful in my life.

[@glennwatson]

Second comment. When I have been depressed it makes you think in extremes and it also makes things too black and white. Life is gray. Like there’s nothing wrong with trying things when you are young and coming back later. Colleges and different courses might be there for you later. Getting a job and also doing KZbin is an option. You don’t have to go all in on one thing only diversify is alright too. Take a gap year get a job. Find out how you like it. Depression can follow you into the new choice though so be careful. Just don’t have extreme thinking see you can do multiple options and just try things.

[@Jwool.mp3]

You’re right. I do think in extremes when I’m like that, and life is in fact grey. This was a much needed reminder my friend

[@LuluLotus175]

Find some things that make you happy, that's my advice. Movies and shows you enjoy watching, games you like playing, or people you find interesting and fun to talk with. I personally like to do impressions of video game characters, and that's just me and it may not work for you, but it might be worth a try. I hope you feel better Jwool, and good luck!

[@will5684]

Colleges usually have psychologists available to students for free. I'd say to talk with one and discuss possibilities and see if there solutions for your feeling of isolation.

[@Eminemforlife192]

The title of this video is so relatable at this moment

[@douglas8051]

Hey Jwool, sorry to hear you're feeling like that. I understand what you mean. I went to NAU, and felt the same. A few years ago I came across this online school WGU, they don't have degrees in film and stuff, but they do have some great options, like medical and computer science. I went to some other online universities, and WGU has been the best. You will have the ability to finish in way less time. This may be a great option for you.

[@HelloMan181]

Your story has a lot of similarities with mine. I paused my college because I had to serve in the Army. I have a semester left but I don't want to go back after I finish my service. When I was in college which is a film school too, I felt really stressed being in the middle of a loud city, not going back home, trying to keep up with the homework, not having friends and etc. I really love filming and I was number one in my college two or three semesters in a roll. I also got an award from a kind of big film academy in my country too. But filming became like work more than passion. I was too passionate I had to spend a lot of time trying to do my best with every single subject for months. I couldn't let things go and wanted to do my best with every single project at school and it drained the life out of me. I couldn't relax. I love filming and I don't want filming to become work. I mean like... as long if you have a camera, you can still make films without graduating college, right?! So I am thinking not graduating college and keep filming as a hobby rather than work (at first) and just get a regular job and work that job until I find a way to make money with my filming. At the end of the day, college is just a system. Try to get out from the system and be free! Wish you luck!

[@tbecon]

Kudos for being honest about being lazy. This is the 4th video with a college adult saying that they feel like a failure and how hard college and life is. It makes me concerned about your generation and their fragility. I sincerely hope you find the help you need to learn the survival skills that we all need. Don’t give up, life is worth the effort.

[@juriken_official4394]

I dropped out 2 month before graduation. My depression got so bad that I can't stop imaging all different ways to die every single second when I leave my room. I have to go to the bathroom to c*t myself in the middle of the class to hold back my tears. College really isn't for everyone🥲🥲🥲🥲I still have terrible nightmares about going to school.

[@ranaobeidat-vm1fy]

SAME !! i hate college

[@KevinWayneWoodward]

You are NOT a failure. Take time to find yourself, focus on what interest you most, success is not a race, it takes time, and you'll get there where you are destined to be, it'll all work out. You have a big heart, and it shows always here, and look what a difference you make just here, sharing, showing others it's ok to struggle, know you are most definitely not a failure. You have every reason to be proud, of how far you've come, and how far you are sure to go, you'll get there! I don't subscribe to many on here, yet I subscribed to you, I listen and know you are real, genuine and worth supporting, so much to be proud James! 👍💯

[@williamkeener180]

My son did one semester of college and said , "Dad college isn't for me"..Very smart great at math but just not into.college became a union carpenter and is doing very well. You Are Not a Failure.. You will figure it put..plenty of time..

[@LegoZoner]

I did college for one semester and it was for me! College isn’t for everyone I thought I was a failure until I realized that’s more to life than college. I found a passion while I’m not 100% positive with I know it’s helping me to own a business of my own one day. You are just like me last year! I pray that you can get through it and find a place in your heart that you enjoy!

[@kevkev4515]

I just found your channel through this video, and I just wanna say how much I adore you. You're so kind and intelligent. I really love your personality and I am sorry that you're feeling the way you're feeling right now. Let me just tell you though, you're in no fucking way a failure... You're way too hard on yourself. Such a smart and sweet guy like you could never be a failure. As a 20 year old guy, you are not alone in these feelings. I have definitely felt like a failure as well, but it gets better. It always gets better. Always! Just stay strong! I am always here if you want to talk about your feelings. Just let me know and we could talk on Instagram or Twitter or just wherever you want. Also, I love your new hair cut, it really fucking suits you.

[@celebrityhits1117]

im new to your channel and one of your videos popped up and i just wanna say thank for being so honest with us and i honestly know how you feel. college isn’t for everyone and if i don’t like im definitely dropping out too so your not the only one.

[@DataRich2525]

Hey J. I listened to your entire heartfelt video. I have a few rules in life I live by. #1 - Don't rush into big changes. Make small changes over time first. To this end, I might suggest you sign up for a music class or something fun. When I was in college, I took piano lessons and I always got up very early to play piano at the music building before my morning chemistry class. #2 - Write things down. Your brain processes things differently when it sees things visually vs. just thinking about them. #3 - Project into the future. Where might you be in 10 years? No matter what your future, college will almost certainly help you in whatever career you ultimately choose. I vote for staying in college and continue doing your KZbin videos as a 'side-hustle'. You should never make decisions based on how you feel. Do things that are good for you and your emotions will follow.

[@jm7804]

Finish out the year and have a backup plan. There are lots of legitimate schools which offer programs online. UCLA, USC, lots of schools. Maybe you need to look into those options after this year? Go back home and finish your degree online. My son dropped out his second semester to work full time. I wasn't happy, but I let it be his decision. He figured out working full time in an entry level job wasn't all it was cracked up to be and went back to school the next semester. Everyone has their own path to figure out.

[@Billythedude2]

Three things I'd like to share-- have you ever had your thyroid checked? Your neck is abnormally swollen around your Adam's apple. This is a symptom of thyroid disease, which is very treatable. Thyroid problems can happen at any age. They can cause lethargy, tiredness all the time, and depression. If you feel lazy or not motivated, this could be the whole reason. Second, I was miserable in college and also dropped out my freshman year. College is not for everyone. This does not make you a failure. You are wise not to pursue it if it's not right for you. Others will just have to accept your decision. Third, if you're not involved with God, He can give you wisdom and direction if you ask Him for them. He can fill up any void in your life. I'm not suggesting going to church; I'm advocating getting to know your Heavenly Father in a love relationship. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you. It was the best decision I ever made back in 1980, and He has never failed me yet, even though I've failed Him often. That's love, mercy, and forgiveness at the highest level!

[@Eminem_music2]

Jwool, i hated school it drained me out and trapped me and made me feel so uncomfortable, it was horrible for my mental health and my parents didnt understand that if i went to school i would have taken my life and i almost did but i recovered and that broke me i felt so stupid i went too a mental facility and it actually gave me a sense of awareness that it was okay to feel like i was nothing and im a little better now and now i do online school im telling you this because i understand ,your parents can say whatever they want but your actually struggling because of college, you matter so much to this world ,i dont care what you say i will remember you for at least a long time but you have to hang in there you have to get help so these people can remember YOU these videos are helping all these people even if you dont think so you are a voice i promise i love you bro

[@KipVaughan]

I wasn't sure what a major haircut would look like but I was surprised it turned out really well! A third option between going to school and doing something outside of school is to go back and forth between school and an outside pursuit. There are several good ways to learn new skills. I said it before but its worth repeating, getting your basic plan together by the time you turn 26 will make things so much easier when it comes to healthcare. You have a lot of freedom right now not having to think about that kind of thing.

[@TheAnthonyjames]

Failure is not following your heart. You can always come back if that is your calling. Don't beat yourself up for being true.

[@dillpickledivs]

if college isn’t for you it’s okay there’s always a path that everyone takes and it’s okay if it’s not the one that everyone says to take. do what’s best for you and not what everyone wants you to do. you aren’t a failure your future is just going to be different to what you anticipated and that’s okay. sending lots of love your way ❤

[@realnaomi1]

I'm in the exact same boat. Taking a year off next year. Its so exhausting trying to figure out how to live on ur own on top of school and work.

[@Optopolis]

I can relate a little. When I was a freshman in high school, I said I'd go straight to college and go into engineering. Senior year came, and I realized I needed at least a year after feeling super exhausted from school. Then 2020 hit, and I realized it'd be at least two more years before I'd even consider going to college given the mess of trying to online-learn from schools that never did that before. Now, I really don't know where I'll go in that respect, don't know if I'll ever go, and if I do, don't know what I'll do when I get there. On some level, I can imagine a future where I can go my complete own route, but I also have no idea if that'll ever happen either.

[@davidmansfield6747]

You made the right choice to leave college. I felt pressured to go, and did, and waisted 2 years of my life. I have been very successful doing what was in my heart from the start. you are headed the right direction now and will see in the future how great of a move that it was even tho you feel terrible now. What you are missing is a simple but real relationship with your creator. Not a religion. A relationship. Sorry about your feelings, but you made a very wise choice. Im proud of you for that.

[@allenbrague6079]

My heart goes out to you. I understand your feelings.. you are still young, I went through much the same things you are going through. Do not ever think you are a failure or stupid. You have your own health to worry about. Do not worry about how your family or friends will react. If they are true friends they will support you. Life is fluid. It changes take the time to get shit together. You need it. Right now you need to worry about today not tomorrow not next week. Are you seeing a therapist still? If not you need to. Don’t blame yourself. Many people Please let us know how things go. Love you man

[@RamblingAddict]

I like listening to videos like this cause it feels like a conversation

[@NikaLunaWrites]

You're following your intuition and going against the grain of what the people around you and society says the right way to do things is and that's a big deal, that's not easy to do. I think you're doing things the smart way. You're super young, you're not supposed to have all the answers. This is the time you should just be curious about yourself, what type of person you wanna be and what you value in life, as you try new things. I wasted a lot of money on college because I wasn't brave like you and that's one of the biggest regrets of my life. You will be just fine, as long as you follow what's true to you even when you feel you stand alone.

[@zandernotalex4214]

The last verse of Robert Frost's 1915 poem The Road Not Taken comes to mind: "I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." Life is its own "college," and you are studying hard! I still imagine you being a terrific therapist one day :)

[@maybelayla1]

I've been watching you for a while and I just wanna say thank you. I struggle with my own stuff but you make me feel like i'm not alone thank you again. Also,remember all the people that watch you are proud of you for going day by day we love you!

[@Addison-Garner]

You aren’t a failure man. Please don’t think that way. We’re here for you ❤🥺

[@rachelotremba8100]

James I hurt for you. Dont apologize for showing emotion. I am 23, I tried college after high school and it didnt work for me either. And I felt like a failure too. I understand that feeling. Try to not be too hard on yourself. This is NOT your fault. I know it isnt easy. But this decision could be really good for you. We love you.

[@ro.7349]

Hey, man, life will give you a way to survive, and it's not like you can't attend college later on, it'll always be there. You got this, dude, failure doesn't define you, youre seriously not a failure. It'll be okay, dunno when but it will be at one point in your life. Bad times can't always be there. There's gotta be some good times that are yet to come. Sending you my best wishes and prayers.

[@JJUnfiltered22]

Don’t think of dropping out as failing, think of it as pushing pause on that part of your life!

[@michaelsciortino7112]

College is very difficult for everyone. I personally hate it as well, I’m not proud of the person it turned me into. But it’s temporary. You gotta push through and keep your eyes on the goal.

[@tessla9244]

You'll find out. How should one know beforehand? It's not a failure at all. Cool new haircut man!

[@Lugano89_MD]

The fact that college is not the right fit for you does NOT make you a failure. Everyone has their own path, their own life experiences. You are very courageous and smart for: (1) recognizing you don’t want to go to college right now and (2) having the strength to change course. Your family will understand and support you. No need to waste time on things that you know you don’t want. Keep following your instincts. If you want to keep going with KZbin, then keep doing that. Cheers.

[@benhogle31]

I was in the same boat as you bud. College is definitely not for everyone. I struggle with pretty significant anxiety and depression but I am making it work. I work full-time now and I am much happier working than I was when I was in school. I also just bought a new car which comes to show that anything is possible. Keep your head held high kid, you are doing great even if you don’t see it at times.

[@nourhanhamed4135]

You have helped your followers with a lot of their problems like therapy , hight school and depression. you have helped people get their life back on track !! your succeeded in that so you r not a failure.