I Found an 1800's "Book of Etiquette" *and it's wild lol*

And it's every bit as backwards and cringy as you would hope, hahahaha.
Every now and then, Nick and I stop by this really cool antique bookstore and I stumbled upon this beauty during our last visit. I HAD to have it. I'm truly awful at internet research so having a direct source of history (however face palm-worthy) is really fascinating to me. So I let you in on some of my 'favorite' passages and WOO-EE. It's a wild ride.
ANYWHO I hope you enjoy, I love you all!!!!
Chapters:
00:00 Intro
01:55 Introductions
03:09 Conversation
06:20 Dinner Etiquette
08:07 Courtship
08:57 Ballroom Etiquette
10:57 Dress
11:56 Street Etiquette
14:05 Hints on Female Beauty
15:09 Hair & Beauty
16:12 Wrap-Up & Bloops
Victorian Dress/Jacket from Victorian Choice (got it for my Raven Lady costume and you KNOW I'm gonna get my use out of it lol)
Insta: / rachel.maksy
TikTok: @rachelmaksy

[@lauraanne341]

I've got a textbook for girls from like the 50s I think, and it contains such gems as 'remember, you are not just a girl, you are a person too' and 'if you have very little brain, you must be sure to use all of it'

[@anitachamberlain3391]

That is legitimately depressing

[@EmpressEmbeth]

Idk, that's kind of amazing. As a middle school teacher, you have no idea how often I've wanted to tell students that they might have very little brain so they should make sure to use all of it. I love all my students, but just.... some of these kids, man. Dang >.

[@lanternwaste8361]

💀😭 ouch

[@Thyalwaysseek]

Yes because looking around at society today all I see are big brained women shaking and twerking their booties on TikTok or doing duck lips for the 1000 selfies they post to Instagram.

[@carveylover]

My friend, as a goof years ago, gave me a book from the 50s on how to be a good housewife. It was bleak.

[@tillie_brn]

Honestly as an autistic person this just sounds like the list of things I have to keep track of when I'm socialising. Ask the person about themselves, don't infodump, laugh at the jokes but don't laugh too loud, don't eat or drink too fast, dress appropriately for the occasion, sit "normally", don't make any comments that could be taken the wrong way... We have a very extensive social etiquette even today, most people just don't realise it.

[@bisexualantigone]

mostly us autistics, but i ignore most of the "fake social rules" aside from you know, not being rude, no open-mouthed chewing, no deliberate fighting or aggression etc

[@sulgkoolon3891]

Exactly!! I kinda WISH it was still commonplace to have something like this written out and shared among everyone. Especially when you travel between countries and offend so many people by being "rude" simply by having different social etiquette :')))

[@camille_la_chenille]

Same! I have memorised so many social rules for different contexts that I could write a book witht them. The most different thing now is that we have the freedom not to follow each and every single rule without being shunned entirely. I tend to ignore many social rules other than basic politeness, which would not have been possible in the 1800. And honestly, social etiquette in the 19th century sounds so much more exhausting than nowadays...

[@kaz_7133]

Before I started university, I looked up modern etiquette rules and I think even checked out a book from the library about social rules. Still took me like seven more years to realize I'm autistic lol

[@MorganJ]

YES. I wish that etiquette was actually taught as a standard thing again, because I feel like it would help the neurotypical population understand the numerous things that us neurodiverse people are just expected to know yet oftentimes don't just intuitively get and have to actively think about and keep track of.

[@elwynbrooks]

honestly "if you get bad vibes from someone it's fine just be civil but don't feel obligated to talk to them" is incredible advice

[@blabafush7008]

Some adivce is good from the book. MOST is not however

[@sky3_ow]

@@blabafush7008 some is excelent, some is passable, a lot is laughable and the rest are decadebt

[@appelofdoom8211]

as is ''hey if a dude's been to possessive that's a red flag do not date him.''

[@WillowRoseArlen]

A friend of mine has a smaller but similar book aimed at young men - I don't remember a lot of it but there were some very oddly specific ones, such as "never ever wander about the living room sharpening your pencil and leaving pencil shavings all over the rug, as this will deeply infuriate your wife"... some parts just sounded like the author airing personal gripes, but who am I to say, maybe all guys were pacing around whittling pencil shavings? 😂

[@clairejohnson6522]

I hope none of that was a euphemism or double entendres!!!

[@Thelmageddon]

Excellent!! 😆

[@alexandraball3190]

I mean, its not wrong. That sounds deeply infuriating to anyone lol

[@raraavis7782]

I've known couples married for a decade, where the wife still had to 'gently remind' the husband, to please use a plate for his sandwich, when wandering about eating it. So. I'm totally buying that the pencil sharpener issue was a real thing 😅

[@katiek829]

I mean they tell you to write from experience…

[@TheGPFilmMaker]

"When raccoons use their little hands as shovels" is officially the ONLY small talk topic I'm using from now on

[@detsnumber1]

Yes i could be happily entertained by this topic of conversation.

[@taybug77]

One must be sure to mention that in German, they are called "wash bears" because they were observed washing their food in creeks or rivers before eating.

[@nooctip]

But my dear fellow, you have not said what the are using their hands as shovels for. Surely the creatures aren't taking up gardening.

[@emilyrln]

@@nooctip tiny accomplices to murder?

[@catbatrat1760]

@@emilyrln Makes sense. They certainly look the part.

[@ashlynsminkey3066]

I have a book from 1819 that was given to a young lady from her aunt called “The perfect woman” and it legit talks about not engaging in romantic behavior with your husband unless it’s for baby making and has shockingly incorrect anatomy illustrations of the female body

[@evelgreytarot8401]

I wonder how many women back then thought there was something drastically wrong with themselves compared to those drawings

[@simbelmyne7767]

I'm also curious. I seem to remember a bizarre medical concept from a very long time ago that involved the human body being filled with air like a balloon so I suppose any level of absurdity is possible lol

[@sinclari1]

I really want to see 🤣

[@asterismos5451]

Romantic behaviour as in like doing sweet romantic things for each other or as in sex? A lot of really religious people still do the no sex unless it's to make babies thing today.

[@KathrineJKozachok]

Was it, perhaps, just simplified to avoid resembling pornography?

[@sarahogborn8024]

I feel like I now need a historical comedy show about the lady and gentlemen trying to navigate their life through Victorian manners and failing miserably😂

[@catbatrat1760]

YES!!!!! YES!!!

[@LaceyMyriah]

Actually such a great idea. I’d watch that.

[@catbatrat1760]

@@LaceyMyriah Same! I'm not usually interested in historical stuff, but that sounds hysterical!!

[@jocosesonata]

Yes! Two young siblings of high society who lived the first 10 years of their life in the countryside at a farm, sent there for their safety when they were just babies, and only when they were of age that they were taken back in. With a surprise, finding out they were actually incredibly rich. They're super down to earth, wholly supportive of each other, but still have that classic sibling banter and rivalry, and both finding this whole etiquette thing to be a bit of a bother. Imagine a montage of them being taught with this book of etiquette, and they would regularly look at each other like, "Can you believe this shit?", cause back at the farm they were open and boisterous, and didn't really care about anything other than each other, and if they're having fun. Like, at that particular farm, stereotypes and gender norms weren't as important as being useful and doing the share of labour. So they're both capable and tough, and are more than ready to throw down if things get sour. Imagine the sister getting mocked by the other ladies, and she's like, "Right. Which one of you has a toothache? Trick question. All of you, once I'm done." The brother will be like, "Whoa, whoa whoa! Sis, what the hell!? You can't just randomly start fights with strangers... Without me!" **takes off coat** "Alright, gents! Who here wants to _fail_ at defending their lady?"

[@father_mae_i]

@@jocosesonata I love this

[@emnachan5664]

When raccoons use their tiny hands as a shovel is my favorite topic to discuss 😌

[@kathyjohnson2043]

That's because it's science!

[@emnachan5664]

@@kathyjohnson2043 best science!

[@stevezytveld6585]

Fun fact - raccoons are slowly taking over the city of Toronto (Canada). Beware of... garbage night... - Cathy (&, accidently, Steve), Ottawa/Bytown/Pimisi

[@Newciouss]

Here is the recommended video for you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gnWlhJubfJJksJo.

[@E_FoxSnowspirit]

Same!1!1!!!11!!!

[@chelseagiles7408]

so today we all learned modern social anxiety has NOTHING on arriving late to dinner in ye olden days

[@maudline]

Jane Austen tried to warn us!😅

[@neuswoesje590]

my ADHD was shaking in fear the whole video

[@perle356]

To be fair, you would have been taught exactly what to do and how to react in any given situation specifically to avoid social anxiety and awkwardness. And "polite" people shoud not react if they see you make a mistake, they're supposed to try and help you hide it or change the subject. So in a way, I think it would have been easier to navigate than today, but at the cost of never being quite yourself

[@violetopal6264]

@@perle356 Would so explain Mr Darcy. Just trying to get along in a crowd and having a thousand things to remember. I wouldn't like parties either 😜

[@katiedunmore2184]

Which is why descriptive honest diaries from back when are so fascinating

[@floria2133]

Because I am so socially weird sometimes, I wonder if I would have done better in an era where there was literally a rule book like this for every social interaction. Yeah, it’s a lot, but you know EXACTLY what is expected of you and others. I think there would be a lot less incidences of me being accidentally rude or not knowing how to react to and engage with people.

[@JustMyOwnSelfToo]

It sounds like you're probably doing better than you think you are, because you care. It helps to have a general rule like "behave with your best effort at awareness and courtesy to the beings around you." That helps build a few seconds of pre-thought into every interaction to prepare you to be more engaged than oblivious. It's better to goof up despite caring than not care at all. That also makes it easier to take advice or correction because you're curious & willing to learn more, rather than coming from an attitude of "take me or leave me, I only care about how I feel and you can go chase yourself if that offends you", LOL. Thank you for caring.

[@sulgkoolon3891]

Yes!!! I keep thinking that as well, would love to have a written out set of rules

[@CynicismFollows]

Worth remembering that these manuals are not definitive guides on proper behaviour; there were different opinions on the subject as there are today. It only looks as simple as following one set of rules because we’re reading one rule book! Country and town manners were quite different, obviously there were class differences (even among different classes of rich people) and even different social scenes would have different standards (like cliques). There would be some standards that carried over, but a lot of the fine detail would still vary.

[@Thyalwaysseek]

Yes just look around at our society today, does anybody really believe we have progressed?

[@Lu-li1ei]

I thought the same, and growing up I would ask my family for those rules. The sad reality is that nobody ever implements them as they're suposed to, not even in 1800. All this conduct books are old men's angry rants about how society should be, mostly oposed to change. People today and back then bend social rules as they please all the time. So there's no real rule, but a vague sense of what's appropriate. I hate it. And thoe worst thing is that is always changing and depends on the people involved, so there's no concrete way to know what's the best to do. We're all doomed to be awkward, it seems. At least we have emphaty.

[@meldixj]

At my parent's house, there is a book from my grand-grandmother from 1902 about how to be a good housewife. Every time we open a page, we laugh at the rules, like "supervise the work of the ppl that work at your house" or "always receive your husband with a smile, and don't bother him with household drama"

[@kittyandrews27]

I was gifted a similar book upon becoming engaged and no joke my grandmother tried to discuss “marital relation” advice to prepare me. 😂 Lol ma’am I was 32 years old, we had lived together for several years and I had lived with my previous boyfriends for 8 years and 3 years. 😅 I’m good gran, thanks. However the funniest thing she ever told me (and kinda horrific) was, upon having to study said book with her growing up, “now if you marry well enough, as you should, you won’t need to worry yourself with these matters, that is what staff is for, but you should be capable of it all both to lure a wealthy husband with your reliability and capableness as well as to properly oversee the quality of your staff’s performance.” 😂 Ironically I married the most kind, silly, wonderful man who happens to be disabled and dirt poor and I give zero fluffs. Ok sometimes when doing dishes I do long for a maid again. Or cleaning the bathroom. 😅 He’s still worth it though! 😊💕😂

[@blakksheep736]

​@@kittyandrews27 good to hear!

[@AngelAshes36]

People were so silly back then. I always ignore my husband when he gets home from working his butt off until I explode in a fit of rage about everything going wrong in my life, and our marriage is totally fine.

[@rin-bell]

Rachel dressed up as a gentleman complete with a mustache was sooo fricken funny

[@chillzedd8179]

Im in love with the 1800s drag king persona and i hope he makes a return

[@Kaalokalawaia]

I love it. ❤

[@qew_Nemo]

I loved her male character too. Very comedic and authentic.

[@raelynfey]

Now I need a full period film by Rachel playing all the parts and narrating. Guest star Frodo

[@jessiestinks]

yes!

[@Eloraurora]

Frodo must, of course, wear his dapper little suit for the occasion

[@digifreak90]

Honestly, there are a couple (only a couple mind you) of bits in that book that still hold up today. I.E. 8:38 basically translates to, "if someone is controlling before the marriage, they'll be just as controlling, if not more so, after the marriage and you should avoid this."

[@sunflowerspirited4974]

The scene where the gentleman sat on the ground beside the lady during their hike and her look of utter horror and confoundment murdered me 🤣🤣🤣 Men must not take breaks or show signs of weakness! They MUSTNT!!!

[@mala3isity]

Sitting by an unchaperoned woman in a casual manner AND in a private place?! The rumors of not being chaste would never be forgotten. Ruined!!!

[@hanng1242]

@@mala3isity I agree. I don't think that it is about putting on a display of strength or endurance, but rather because sitting together implies an intimacy that walking together does not. A woman walking on a man's arm simply means that they are not strangers, but sitting by each other alone is for lovers.

[@BethDiane]

The problem is that the act of sitting on the ground next to a lady would create opportunities for a man not acting the gentleman to importune her.

[@RedWoomy]

@@hanng1242 Indeed. How vulgar must it be to allow a man's buttocks to be in contact with the earth in close proximity to a woman's buttocks being in contact with the earth. Despite being fully clothed, it opens the mind to such horrendous ideas...

[@hanng1242]

@@RedWoomy I didn't make the rules, and ridiculing them will most certainly get you not invited to the next ball.

[@thefrozenone417]

😂PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MAKE THIS A SERIES 😂 As a piano teacher I LOST IT during the piano playing segment.🤣

[@adedow1333]

It was brilliant!

[@emmadavey3892]

My favourite funny bit!

[@et12345]

As an opera singer and ex-violinist, I lost it during that portion too!

[@SirFrederick]

yes, a weekly reading

[@shanniebaby75]

And please secure Boy Rachel’s contract for future videos. He is the cutest!

[@mcmack87able]

Me, reading the title: oh good, a low-key video for Rachel to create. Rachel: incredible production value, playing at least three characters Also, we can add "ridiculous false mustache" to the list of things Rachel looks great in

[@nihtgengalastnamegoeshere7526]

I mean, to be fair, the 'no dyes etc for your hair because POISON!' is legit advice, a lot of products that then probably DID contain hazardous ingredients.

[@XxEvilTiggerxX]

The whole street etiquette section had me thinking of the scene in Pride and Prejudice when Lydia waves and yells "DENNY!!" across the street and Lizzy is absolutely mortified. And forming a new acquaintance with Wickham in the centre of town! Most improper :P

[@angb6616]

Yes, the whole assembly is quite aware of her faux pas.

[@ghoul.fungus]

Those reenactments! 😂 Also, the outfit worn by Narrator-Rachel is perfection.

[@alisalarsen9163]

Yes and yes

[@nate.draws.things]

She went full whiskey grandpa and I'm here for it lmao

[@ReneesatItAgain]

YAS!!! &w/cute fur babe in the setting!! OMG! Love!!!

[@Newciouss]

Here is the recommended video for you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gnWlhJubfJJksJo.

[@jjoyparks5228]

Rachel at the dinner etiquette scene I laughed so hard I cried. Honestly the best acting. Where’s your oscar?

[@jjoyparks5228]

Okay, 2 oscars. I just got to the piano playing scene.

[@photographyguru2135]

@@jjoyparks5228 I second these!

[@ariahmak]

"There is no greater nuisance in society than a dull and persevering punster." ...and I took that personally. 😅

[@bubbles1850]

I finally realized what this reminded me of, those old disney cartoons with goofy that were like "How to be a ghost" and they narrate while he tries to follow the instructions. and i LOVE it!! You should make more of these lol

[@DRay-eu7mw]

I had almost forgotten about those! We watched so many when I was little. I remember the oddly formal voice trying to teach Goofy how to swim, who then cometically fails in every way possible, and nearly drowns in the shower.

[@maggiejackson2160]

Seconded! Or the POOP episode of SpongeBob. I adore this format and Rachel’s humor is so perfect for it.

[@chloeedmund4350]

I loved those shorts.

[@dollhead]

@@maggiejackson2160 i was also thinking of spongebob LOL

[@emilyrln]

In a holiday special, there was one teaching him how to ski that I loved 😂

[@pixiemeg]

The part about not talking down to women had me wheezing 😂

[@kathyjohnson2043]

... and still good advice, although anyone who has to hear it is already a lost cause

[@neuswoesje590]

that and the advice on dominering men was suprisingly solid lol. oh and the men staring at women, and not using hair dyes as well. tho they probably meant it as "spend time and money to make your hair pretty is vain and toxic to the soul" and not "the chemicals we use are actually extremely dangerous but we don't know that yet"

[@thewingedporpoise]

@@neuswoesje590 I mean they might have noticed that people who dyed their hair went blind or well... died, pun intended

[@LaceyMyriah]

@@thewingedporpoise I LOL’d

[@LaceyMyriah]

@@neuswoesje590 I agree!! I was surprised to find it wasn’t just completely demeaning!

[@olliedayze]

Wow that book is a ROLLERCOASTER. Also the acting was an actual masterpiece. Thank you for this absolute gem of a video.

[@brendaokuda2158]

I'm almost 60 yrs old & was raised in Texas.....& yes, I had to read & obey Emily Post's Book of Etiquette. My mother passed away a couple of years ago & as I was going through her things I found no less than FIVE books on etiquette that the ladies in my family had sworn by for at least 100 yrs. Imagine, this book wasn't considered out of date when I was a young.....40 yrs ago, but is now laughed at. Amazing if you really think about it.

[@AmoCultumAlo]

So true. Honestly, while some of the exact circumstances are somewhat dated in their details for this particular book, in my opinion, most of it at its core is very good and very true advice even now that people could probably really benefit from following. It strikes me as rather strange that behaving in a kind, courteous, and conscientious manner with dignity and decorum should be laughable now. Frankly, I wish I could see a little -- or a lot -- more of those traits when I look around me or interact with others. Being well-mannered and behaving with honour and politeness seems a rare thing these days. Pity.

[@-Teague-]

​@@AmoCultumAloI-- that's what you got out of this??? Kindness and courtesy???

[@AmoCultumAlo]

@@-Teague- yes, it is. As I said, the particulars might be dated in some instances, but it's quite clear to me that the intention was to give people real, concrete guidelines on how to be respectful, kind, and courteous to those around them. Functioning societies have always had rules of etiquette that allow people to navigate interpersonal relationships and society without causing undue offense (or wars, inadvertently), and these rules most certainly evolve over time. Thus, we should view those rules and customs in context rather than judging them based on a very different era and its norms and customs. Beyond that, I would much rather have a functional society in which people are brought up to live well with others and be polite, kind, and courteous and to have guidelines in place to foster and facilitate that than one in which chaos and narcissism reign supreme. More and more, I see our society becoming one in which people have no real notion of how best to interact with others, are left confused and stressed because of this, have very few real-world community ties, and are very often left feeling isolated and alone. Have a look at the stats on increasing levels of loneliness, mental illness, etc. as people move further away from the norms and institutions that have historically given them a support structure and sense of belonging and purpose. It's not a coincidence that as these traditional values, perspectives, and institutions are eroded by a given society that it starts to crumble. Picking up any decent history book will demonstrate that very well. Having said all that, we can certainly agree to disagree on our take aways from this video. I value others' opinions and views and the chance to have honest, gracious discourse on matters that are as important as how society functions and what is conducive to human flourishing. However, I certainly have no expectation that everyone will agree with my perspective, and I take no offense at that. Everyone is entitled to their thoughts and views, and last I checked, having differing viewpoints isn't criminal, thankfully. If we ever do get to the stage that thought crimes become legally punishable, society really will crumble -- and rapidly, I imagine. Anyway, I wish you happiness and a lovely day. God bless.

[@-Teague-]

@@AmoCultumAlo I don't understand how rules can have the intent of kindness when they are purely based in unkindnesses such as classism and sexism.

[@-Teague-]

@@AmoCultumAlo but I don't want to start an argument. I hope you have a good day too.

[@faithannerush]

As a Redhead, I can confirm that auburn/red colored clothing does NOT tone my hair color down❤️

[@qew_Nemo]

How scandalous!

[@onnalynn7004]

Doesn't it just make it seem MORE red...at least that is MY experience. Lol.

[@faithannerush]

@@onnalynn7004 lol YES! My hair always looks so much oranger and redder when I wear auburn clothing.

[@elyssart]

Totally! Half the time the shade of red completely clashes with the red tones of my hair.

[@aerialpunk]

I liked how it seemed like the colour options available basically came down to red, gold, white, or blue

[@Adrienne557]

The advice for walking rigorously up a mountain is so specific! It has to come from the author's experience. I can't imagine why someone would prefer their companion to stand over her instead of sit with her while she rests.

[@kirstenpaff8946]

It's about appearances. If a third person came along and saw a man and a woman on the ground together, they might think they were interrupting something scandalous.

[@reaverkai]

@@kirstenpaff8946 oh i thought it might be a virile manly macho thing, to prove they aren't weak and won't succumb to the female urge to *rest*

[@Adrienne557]

@@kirstenpaff8946 oh right! of course! :)

[@hannahstewart5337]

My thought process behind this weird rule was maybe so the big manly man could watch out for bears or other wildlife to protect the lady

[@Newciouss]

Here is the recommended video for you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gnWlhJubfJJksJo.

[@TirzahWolf]

The pressure point under your nose is true for stopping a sneeze! If you press right under the nose, not really the top on the lip, it’ll stop you from sneezing! That’s why you see all those old cartoons of the character holding a finger under their nose when they sneeze! It’s how I stop myself from sneezing if I need to. Haha!

[@michaeleberly7351]

Be sure to press hard enough that the sensation of pain causes the irritation in the nose to be diminished until the urge to sneeze subsides. Continue to hold this pressure for a minute or two or else the desire to sneeze may return.

[@tbarnes4403]

Stopping yourself from sneezing can burst your blood vessels and in rare cases give you an aneurism. So, I wouldn't if I were you.

[@michaeleberly7351]

@@tbarnes4403 You are confusing this with stifling a sneeze, which is where you hold back a sneeze that has already started. We are are talking about interruption of the itch sensation before the sneeze response even begins.

[@gbirm5957]

I mistakenly read this as "pleasure point under your nose...." and I was deeply confused and perturbed to not know that was a thing too lol

[@poonyaTara]

My great aunt insisted on properly finishing my education (i.e. teaching me etiquette and deportment) despite my mother having had the good sense to marry down for an admirable man. She taught me from a handbook that had been published for the New England seaboard in 1896. I have wished that she would have covered the courtship section, but as an unmarried teacher she was obliged to forego it. After seeing this video I think, for the first time, that that might have been for the best. 😅

[@user-oj5bw7sl8p]

Rachel's videos are like a special, very mild & sweet, comic show. They make people all warm & cozy inside.

[@valarya]

they crack me the fuck up 😂

[@dallasmandy]

Yep yep yep

[@KathrineJKozachok]

. . . and give rise to the most dignified chuckle on occasion.

[@Newciouss]

Here is the recommended video for you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gnWlhJubfJJksJo.

[@lynnhobby32321]

I’ve left a lot of my original channels. Rachel’s will be on my keep list for as long as she’ll make content. 😊

[@yasminmarques8193]

I lost my composure at the "draw imaginary lines at the table". 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@bossyboots5000]

I was like, really? Did so many people do that that it had to be discussed in a book? What drugs were they doing back then? 😂

[@agimagi2158]

@@bossyboots5000 Maybe conversations went really boring really quick amongst some people

[@yasminmarques8193]

@@bossyboots5000 right?!!!

[@BeingJenniRae]

The intensity of the dinner party made me laugh so hard that my boyfriend came in from the other room because he thought I was horribly crying. 🤣🤣🤣 Also, I would VERY much appreciate it if you'd Rick Roll us one of these days. 😂😂😂

[@Hawk_Leigh]

I heard "Cheese MUST be eaten with a fork" and I am shook This video was such a hilarious delight as always! 😂

[@irrelevant_noob]

TBF, _anything_ should be eaten with a fork. :-) LE: by "anything" i only meant solid (cooked) food, so snacks/fast-food/street-cart-stuff (like sandwiches or hotdogs) would be valid counter-examples of my statement above. Liquids wouldn't.

[@tubekulose]

What do you use?

[@Hawk_Leigh]

@@irrelevant_noob I can't tell if you're joking or if you've never eaten soup before 😅🤣

[@irrelevant_noob]

@@Hawk_Leigh partially joking, but also partially serious. Although you're right, i should've said i meant solid foods. And TBF, i haven't "eaten" soup yet, i've usually drank it. ;-)

[@Hawk_Leigh]

@Irrelevant Noob ahhhh Idk how I feel about that one, I feel like drink is out of a cup, but I'm not gonna judge you on how you enjoy your soup ;) 😂

[@laurenloertscher1319]

Those etiquette books are fascinating to me. They're a delightful mix of completely irrelevant and timeless, useful advice.

[@Neophoia]

Please make more of these videos. It's lovely hearing you snarkily reading old books, and the acting bits are hilarious.

[@J_Gamble]

Loved this. One thing (amongst others) behind the rising popularity of these books, was the social upheavals brought on by the industrial revolution and the growing middles classes. They didn't learn such niceties at home and from governesses and whatnot, but they could rely on books like these to tell them how not to be totally shunned in public, at table or at a ball.

[@katiehaley2850]

“They seem ready to expire! 👀” REALLYYYYY got me 😂❤️

[@HollyDunnDesign]

Part 2, please! This was a treasure.

[@vgn5804]

Exactly, Holly D!

[@misskelevra]

Absolutely. I second ☝️

[@esbybyaghro6483]

I've always wondered how much people ACTUALLY followed the rules in books like this or if they were the equivalent of women's/men's magazine articles today i.e. things that very few people actually pay attention to - What To NEVER Wear After 40, Hairstyles For Your 30s, etc.

[@rigelrae179]

I've often wondered that too! Or if there were different etiquette books that contradicted each other on some things and people were like "no, don't read THAT one...read THIS one!"

[@zakosist]

Probably varied from person to person, and people normally following making exceptions in some situations. In close relationships people become more casual. Peoples personality and mood can play in. No way people as a whole followed all the rules, many people dont even follow actual laws that are a lot more important.

[@userequaltoNull]

It depended, but I'd say that particularly in *this* context, these things were probably followed pretty closely in general. During Victorian times, and even a little later (pretty much dying in the 1950's, because baby boomers) manners and etiquette were used as a means to not only be considerate of others in society, but also to differentiate based on class. Obviously, in Victorian societies, "classes" didn't really exist (see addendum), but people were often very concerned with "station", which could be considered a synonym for "respectability", and was highly correlated with (but *not* actually dependant on) wealth/power. Generally, America seems to have been less stuck-up than the British, but in America at least, a person's Station could pretty much be boiled down to the (extremely broad and oversimplified, varied by individual judge and localized area) "Undesireables", "Respectable", and "Elites". Undesireables would have been beggars, prostitutes, actors/actresses, circus employees, and the uncouth and uneducated poor. Respectability was people who were gainfully employed, wealthy, educated (by 1880 standards, mind), socially polite, or objectively benefiting/"paying your dues" to society. You could be poor as a cowless milkmaid for your whole life and *still* be respectable if you meet even *one* of the above criteria (and having good manners, of course. You need to look like you're at least *trying* to be polite). That was way longer than intended, the past *really is* a foreign country with foreign borders. (Addendum: Look at English society in the 1210 AD, and try to figure out which laws and obligations would apply to you. I'll give you a hint: You have almost certainly never even heard of "your" legally-defined social class, and if someone stabbed you to death in front of the entire town, he almost certainly could not have been charged with murder)

[@dabneymurphy6828]

Every appearance of Mr. Frodo fills me with so much joy! He's such a good boy and a handsome gentleman!

[@azrani2023]

The Sniff Sniff part had me cracking up 😆

[@josueolivas6109]

What's the name of the book she s reading

[@sarapenn9776]

The Confused Victorians (tm) are my new favorite characters of all time. I'd love to see another installment of Proper Etiquette (tm) in the future.

[@sarahlarson8335]

The way the advice ranges from something outrageous by our standards to still pretty solid advice is wild. Also, thank you for highly amusing content when I needed it a ton. I only could've wished for a glimpse of the elusive Binx since I'm missing my own cat who died yesterday. But, thanks for helping me smile and get a laugh.

[@bestjuliawest]

“Don’t talk down to people because they’ll either recognize the condescension or think you are dull-witted” honestly solid advice 😂

[@marcherwitch9811]

much empathy... if you want cat pics i thought my avatar might help!

[@sarahlarson8335]

@@marcherwitch9811 Thanks. Your kitty avatar looks a lot like my kitty.

[@thewingedporpoise]

@@bestjuliawest I mean if I'm being honest I tend to assume both, with the whole dunning Kruger effect y'know

[@MairahAriana]

when she read the part "A Lady never talks loudly or laughs boisterously." I snorted and said WELP guess I'm screwed. Hahahaha.

[@neuswoesje590]

for me it was never being so absently minded that you don't recognise someone in the street. I have ADHD and am so faceblind that I've mistaken a stranger for my bff who I see everyday. did my whole goblin greeting dance too. when I put on make up I gotta stare in the mirror for a while to get used to it so my brain stops panicking over not recognising my face. and never being late? yeah I'm screwed lol

[@valerycaputilopez5133]

VULGAR! 🤣

[@SierraMascara28]

15:49 okay but you look really good blonde though. The exasperated look you gave when the man started following you down the street was hilarious. 😂

[@deniastettler1876]

The comparison to 'She's the man but historical' is so muh funnier when you know that it's an adaptation of Shakespeare's twelfth night

[@angello882]

It's fascinating to me, that I as a modern woman was brought up with these same rules regarding dining etiquette. And even to some degree the rules of beauty and behavior. Some things never really changed.

[@lenabreijer1311]

The dance thing, omg. In the 60s never ever ask a boy to dance. Wait until chosen. So the boys held up the walls and the girls danced together....

[@Newciouss]

Here is the recommended video for you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gnWlhJubfJJksJo.

[@blackhagalaz]

Same here. Except for the "dipping the bread" thing I was teached the same etiquette. But on the other hand I grew up in Germany, and in the 90's dinner was still very much an occasion, to sit together at the table, only focusing on the meal and conversation. Especially at my grandparents house. Therefore we learned not to eat like pigs lol. Today in our daily life's we are so used to just crouching in front of the TV to eat a quick meal. A thing I heard recently, and what doesn't seam to be to common in the US, but in Germany very much so, is to wait with eating until all guests are seated. Especially the host, who often times still brings the last things to the table, needs to sit down and wish everyone a good meal. Only then you can eat. Only exception to this is when the host sais "I still need to do this and that, please start eating before it gets cold", but even then many will just wait for the host to join. Often times we don't even fill our plates before the host is present. The though of just digging in your meal without the whole party being present just seems rude to me, if not even "Preposterous" (lol)

[@xxzcfdxc]

That's really sad

[@lenabreijer1311]

@@blackhagalaz have supper with my first boyfriend's british family at 16 I showed my low class immigrants origin by cutting my roll instead of tearing it. You would have thought I spit into the soup by the reaction of his mother. I was never invited back.

[@IcaSings]

Rachel confusedly poking her lip to stop a sneeze cracked me up x) You actually hold your finger horizontally under the nose, like a finger mustache lol and it really works! :D

[@agimagi2158]

Omg I do this regularly and I still did not get what the book meant. I was ready to accept that folks were running about with a pointy index finger on their lips

[@FireTurkey]

Small but important note, if you want it to work apply a bit of pressure. The goal is to stimulate a nerve in your face so it distracts your brain.

[@IcaSings]

@@FireTurkey Oh yea, great note! :) Rachel mentioned to apply pressure in the vid but I forgot to say it too x)

[@aimeecentaine]

You can also press your tongue hard to the roof of your mouth for a hands free option.

[@IcaSings]

@@aimeecentaine good to know! :)

[@thenickalillyhomestead]

This is quite literally one of my absolute favorite videos you have EVER done. I have been crying tears of joy for the past 8 minutes. Please, Please, Please never change.

[@michelleray4516]

Ok, I have to watch this again because I was laughing way too much the first time! Please do this again...the things proper people did to be proper is hilarious! Good thing they wrote it down cuz no one could remember all of it. Rachel always puts the perfect comedic backdrop on it.

[@criticalmaz1609]

This needs to be its own series!

[@misskelevra]

Yes! I second ☝️

[@UnendlichFrieda]

"Sybill, vulgarity is never a substitute for witt" - Lady Violett Crawley 😂

[@millenni-lifecrisis2324]

:Dammit

[@gildedpeahen876]

Always coming w the zingers!

[@aerialpunk]

Honestly, that line resonated with me so much! I never liked it when people seem to think just swearing a bunch or being crude makes them automatically funny.

[@cammie49]

This guy at work thinks he’s hilarious because he uses the f word in ever sentence for dramatic effect. “My boss efin told me x. He’s such an efin asshole. I efin don’t give a shit what he says. He can efin go to hell. I’ll efin sue his ass. I don’t need this efin job” etc etc. Seemed like an idiot but I just did the ladylike smile & nod for 5 min per day for over a year. Then last week he explained to me how to download an app and get into it so I could change my paycheck withholding. I had no idea and not one other person at work ever bothered to tell me about this app and all I could do with it. I guess vulgar idiots can be kind and useful? Who knew.

[@roz3908]

I wrote my undergrad thesis on 18th century conduct books so this was a really fun reminder of my college days. I find this stuff hilariously interesting, though it's been a few years since I last read one of these. They're a really great source for what social trends people were trying to promote and what they're scared of and I just find them fascinating. Infuriating sometimes, but fascinating.

[@AmandaCampitelli]

I love this so much!! Please make MORE!!!! Also, this book feels like a neurotypical guide for neurodivergent people, on how to live in this weird world haha

[@HaylieSings]

Dying over here. The reenactments were chef's kiss oh my word. Also, loved when the author was like, "I'll tell you in one brief sentence" and then.proceeded to give the most verbose sentence ever. Wow.

[@agimagi2158]

Also even though we dislike being told what to do I sometimes wish there would still be super up to date books like these around. There are so many unspoken rules and customs one only finds out about after one made a fool of oneselfe. Esp if one moves to a different country. Like I literally did everything wrong in my first few years after moving and being a teen did not help

[@sulgkoolon3891]

Oh gosh I was literally saying that under a different comment 😭 it's bad enough in one country, but when you move countries - maybe several times - while young and traumatised but just doing your best but constantly coming off as rude... :') absolute fresh hell. Would love books such as this. Just tell me what to do

[@myladycasagrande863]

There are a number of books on current etiquette, but I don't know how helpful they would be for moving counties - seems like you would need a guide written by someone who understood both your culture of origin and the one you moved into.

[@christianapinto9628]

There actually is! Emily Post's etiquette book gets updated every year or so. The latest is the 19th edition I think.

[@the_n00b_gamergirl]

"ow! My actual moustache hairs! 〰️" 🤣😂🤣 hahaha EVERY part of this video had me laughing HYSTERICALLY!!!😂🤣🤭 Your reactions to what you read and reenactments are just.. 👌🏻✨💯🤣😂 PERFECT!🙌🏻

[@evelynbookwyrm385]

I can't explain how much I love this!! I vote we name these characters Eleanor Vandeleur and Gregory Crumbsworth. Also cite to mage them reoccurring. But great work, it's amazing! 👏 😂

[@valarya]

the "yeah, okay" snort after the statement that the gentleman won't be able to blame or mistake you had me choking on my own snort 🤣🤣

[@jpholcomb1947]

I actually collect vintage etiquette books! I have ones from the 1800s up to the 1970s, including an Esquire Men's Guide, a 3rd edition Emily Post, and a Cosmo Guide for the New Woman. This is definitely my area of special interest. If I was going to do history-tube videos, I would be all over doing vintage manners.

[@itzel1735]

Nice. I very much enjoyed “Miss Manners”. Though I felt even more awkward after reading it than before.

[@lizap16]

that’s so cool! Would you say the advice has remained fairly similar, just updated? For example the 1970s books won’t discuss how to properly bow and tip your hat, but does it still cover introducing yourself, or how to make polite conversation, just with updated topics?

[@jpholcomb1947]

Most of them, yes. The general topics of etiquette stay pretty much the same -- introductions, business, how to be a good host, etc. There's always some strange inclusions, though -- for example, the Cosmo one has a whole section dedicated to casual sex

[@juliab1407]

the mix of totaly outdated and suprisingly relevant is just top notch entertainment🙌

[@juniperjohnson6315]

Etiquette and conduct books are a fascinating genre, especially as it moves into including and covering information related to health, wellness, sex education well until the mid-20C. So much so that I'm working on them for my graduate thesis lol

[@taekwongurl]

The fish hook dance move was hilarious, it's too much grace to take.

[@merrylty7632]

I have a book like that, but in french ! It's hilarious. If you follow exactly what the author says about courtship and marriage, you could end up marrying a stranger you saw once... The Book even specifies the colour of the gloves that the fiancé should wear to visit his future in laws (in french it's litteraly named "fresh butter"). I love it so much.

[@rianglover7267]

As a history student I love to see fun books like this. More of this content pleeease ❤

[@rikusora1200]

The gentleman etiquette character was so cute and fun! I'd love to discuss how raccoons use their little hands as shovels with him. Lol.

[@hayleykerrean]

Intelligent Rachel: "I hope I look like that guy from that Pixar short" Me: omg you doooooo 😭😭😭

[@melissagray461]

Yess she looked just like ol man Geri

[@adedow1333]

That and "Take her away, Ern!"

[@Meowcules01]

Rachel, your videos are helping me through this bought of depression. I'm actually smiling and laughing watching through some of my favorites through the years. Thank you for all you do ❤️

[@kathyjohnson2043]

I hope you can keep laughing and smiling; depression is hard

[@KZesty]

Wishing you all the best, Internet friend 💖

[@m.maclellan7147]

May I recommend her video of Gandalf ?! Hope it makes you giggle ! Also, her dress made of bubble wrap is pretty hilarious as well ! "Take 2 Rachel Maksy videos & call me in the morning!" ;)

[@rmorine6394]

This was utterly delightful! Acting it out made it chef's kiss! Also, the gentleman's hapless expression of social confusion is still a thing.😃

[@photographyguru2135]

This is officially my FAVORITE video that you have made this year!!! Your humor just flows so well when you just have something so archaic to poke fun at -and it just shows that people like me didn't have much a clue back then either in the areas of social norms! LOL Also LOVE your narration with the characters (which you make hysterically relatable and realistic -yet so funny!) reacting in real time

[@CharoArtundo1]

I feel like this video was just an excuse for rachel to dress up in victorian clothes 😂 (absolutely loved this concept please do more🙏🏼)

[@preguicacosmonauta]

The world needs a sequel to this entertainment masterpiece

[@Artemiswitchcosplay]

I want Rachel’s main outfit in this, the little tie is so cute! 💚

[@mara.luthien]

i could willingly sit here and listen to rachel read all of this book and be more than content with the time spent

[@cori0420]

"ow my actual moustache hairs" 🤣🤣🤣☠️ I love you Rachel and thank you so much for the male and female skits with Narrator Rachel outfit changes ❤️

[@rachelunderwood4868]

Can't wait for the next installment of Lady Rachel and the Unsuitable Suitor!

[@readmachine18]

PERFECT name for "him" omg 🤣🤣🤣

[@SerendibiteStudios]

I love reading really, really old books. Not just on etiquette, but on things they’d learn in school back then too, such as math or science. It’s fascinating to look back at how much they didn’t yet know, and the things that weren’t always accurate. When doing research on a modern book, it usually gives you a general overview of what life was like, which is great. But it’s really cool to learn the specifics of the everyday lives that people lived a very long time ago.

[@alexandraball3190]

Why do I sit here trying to memorize these as if I'm about to fall through a worm hole and get stuck in this time period tomorrow?

[@ladyelainefairchild3546]

Because most of these are still appropriate and proper manners today.

[@ladylibrum7145]

That sounds like a fun adventure! I would love a chance to go around nodding my head in greeting, especially if adorned with a charming hat. 😉

[@robinbirb]

Love how Rachel's Elizabeth Bennet voice came out during, "And a lady of really delicate perceptions will avoid it."

[@n.c.pictures]

I need more of this. It's so chaotic, I Love it 😂

[@pollyfoofoo8703]

That was a lot of fun! Some were actually reasonable even today, and a lot weren't lol. And how do you look so good in every hair color!? Love your reenactments and your costumes.

[@annaboegh9910]

I cannot tell you how much this made my day😂❤ the outfits! The acting! The old weird dumb rules! *chefs kiss*

[@nniffa393]

I want to think my glasses make me look smarter but then I hear Jan from Grease in my head saying, "NAH, I CAN STILL SEE YOUR FACE," and I am destroyed lol.

[@killerpussy84]

This is easily my favourite of your videos; the content for sure, but also the change in locations within your house (which fit the clothing just perfectly!), and the clothing/hair/makeup Gemstone video 😊

[@stellaluna6421]

It's also worth noting that the role of etiquette books evolved over time. The courtly books occurred as the role of nobles was shifting away from ruling fiefs and performing martial duties (this is during a period of state-consolidation). The court was centralizing around the king and as professional armies were starting to develop, nobles were less useful as martial leaders and so a different sort of profession more or less had to be invented, so you see the development of books explaining courtly values as the nobility reinvents itself. The kind of book being read here is intended for a different audience, likely the upwardly mobile class or non-gentry upper class, thus the emphasis on avoiding 'vulgar' and lower-class habits that will earn the derision of upper-class peers and 'out' someone as coming from a lower-class background.

[@devercunningham7436]

all of the reneactments remind me so much of the scene from dickinson where emily and sue dress up in mens clothes and play act “gentelmenly” behavior before sneaking into a science lecture 💜💜💜

[@somewherenorth4092]

Honestly, some of this is spot on. 😂 Eta: yes, that sneeze trick totally works. I've done it for years!

[@jessicastevens5782]

I have more luck pinching just under the bridge of my nose, but guessing that wouldn't fly in this book - oh, the vulgarity!

[@helenamirian908]

I tickle the roof my mouth with my tongue. No one can see me do it!

[@bossyboots5000]

@@jessicastevens5782 I want "oh the vulgarity!" to enter into our common parlance. Someone make this a meme, please

[@m.maclellan7147]

@@bossyboots5000 Rachel should make it as merch ! I would buy a coffee cup with that on it !

[@KatrinaTapio]

While the rules for ladies often seem really restrictive, condesending, patronizing, and terrible, I actually feel that some of the rules seem to be put there for her own safety. Stuff like, must be at the dance with her mother or other guardian, don't cross the room alone, don't make friends with strangers in the street, etc, feels like it must have been a response to some danger either to her reputation (remember, a lady with bad reputation could have difficulties to marry, and worst case end up penniless and possibly on the street) or as an actual preventative thing to avoid sexual harassment and possibly even rape... What a strange and awful time to be alive. Thanks for making such great content, your acting was hilarious!

[@sixtenhedqvist7358]

I have developed a fondness for "Book of Etiqerre" ,and eagerly anticipate encountering it more often.

[@ariverdreaming]

Mustached smarmy Rachel is absolutely hilarious I did not expect that. ❤

[@scmb7665]

I can't count how many times I laughed out loud (VULGAR) during this video, so well done. Thank you for this old timey entertainment 😄

[@chroniclecaldwell9851]

This is priceless! Thank you for restoring my faith in a particular type of humor from an unnamed segment of the population! This was enlightening, good hearted, and has the theatrical flair a true thespian appreciates and admires! My insides are actually smiling!

[@jessierose]

This is GOLD. I demand a series 😂

[@leslielamour85]

This video was so fun, and can I just say the striped shirt and suspenders makes you look like an Olde Time Candy Shoppe owner and I’m obsessed with it!!

[@DivineWrathCV]

Two minutes in and I'm already in tears, these reenacting scenes are so on point! This one is going to be one of my faves of yours EDIT: 4 minutes in - I'm dead 🤣🤣🤣

[@michellemausicohen2505]

This is delightful! Anytime you feel like a part 2 or 3, I'm here for it!

[@gildedpeahen876]

That tip about letting people talk about themselves though 😫😫😫 ITS TRUE! In one of my favorite books Small Gods, there is a troupe of philosophers, one of whom is The Listener. Because no one really listens when someone speaks, they’re just thinking of what *they’re* going to say next… It’s said that George Bush, when in college at Yale, was able to remember, “rain man” style, everyone’s name and where they were from. It’s one of those rarely openly (but always subconsciously) appreciated skills…I am very good with names and let me tell you, people LOVE it when you remember their name or something they said offhandedly to you. Life Hack.

[@kelleygaston6133]

I would love to see more episodes of outdated etiquette. You brought back a lot of fun memories for me with this one.

[@gaslitworldf.melissab2897]

I know you put hours, maybe days into assembling this video. It's beautiful. entertaining, even funny. You deserve a long break after this. Thank you.

[@rosiemccracken908]

oh please please bring these characters back again!! I can totally see this being a series!!