I Found Possible Evidence Of My Husband Cheating And I'm Devastated r/Relationships

[@Bonaduece]

Story 1: Man, that dude couldn't have made himself look more like a cheater if he'd actually tried to. I'm not surprised OP's anxiety spiraled. I've got mild anxiety, too--when I have my loving support system in place. Take away my family, and I would be an absolute wreck.

[@jbgra2566]

Damn, hopefully last OP made the right decision because I don't think it's going to end up good. She didn't had a one night stand, she cheated for a whole year.

[@pansprayers]

Story One is a great example of a fantastic idea, with an absolutely aweful execution. I absolutely hate surprises (trauma) - I've gotten much better with time and therapy, but my husband, who's much more spontaneous, has figured out that it's best to limit it to, 'I bought you a bag of chips/cleaned the room top to bottom' vs 'we're going on an unexpected journey to parts unknown'.

[@F1fangirl96]

I have the same problem myself. I’m very much better with a small surprise then a big one… I get anxious and scared more for a trip then “here’s a snack I know you love” or “I cleaned the apartment”

[@pansprayers]

@@F1fangirl96 luckily, I am able to reciprocate with my need plan and his appreciation of surprises, haha. Like not telling him he was going to Ireland until we were on the way to the airport. He loved it, and I knew what was going on. Win/win.

[@wmdkitty]

This. Surprise me with food or a small gift, not something that disrupts my routine or takes me out of my comfort zone. (Unless it's something super awesome you know I'd kill to see/do. Then I could probably forgive it.)

[@thomasjoseph5876]

The planning by the sister (who really should have known better given OP's mental issues) and the horrendous execution of the plan by the husband who left some pretty polarizing bread crumbs for OP to find, was a near disaster. The thing is, I believe OP has some other more serious mental issues going on other than just "anxiety". Her being more afraid of being alone and raising the kids alone after she thought hubs was buying another woman gifts and going to leave (her words) over the fact her supposed love of her life soulmate might be cheating on her is very very concerning. That isn't a simple case of anxiety, there is much more going on that might be both mental and physical that needs to be addressed by professionals. Plus, her reaction after learning the truth of everything still seems a bit off. To be honest, I think she was pretty close to a complete breakdown that very easily could have manifested itself into some sort of self-harm or worse that could have resulted in ending herself and/or her children as well. This poor woman needs some serious help and for God's sake, NO MORE SECRET SURPRISES. She was losing it at the end of all of this from the time between her conversation with her sister and hubs getting home and yet, both the sister and hubs kept quiet until hubs saw the actions of the OP when he got home. Imagine if she had just decided to end it during the period of time because she honestly believed no one was on her side or had her back. The sister shouldn't have hung up and called the hubs, she should have come clean on the spot and texted hubs to call OP and reinforce what the actual plan was.

[@kristinwiebold2433]

Truly Mark, I think any wife would become unhinged if they found the things OP found. Yes, it would have been better to talk with him instead of making assumptions, but if sister and hubby knew Op had a problem with anxiety, I dont think this surprise was done well. Thank goodness sister told OP's husband that big red divorce alerts were wailing

[@groofromtheup5719]

what good does it to to talk to someone that will lie to you?

[@AndreNDP]

@@groofromtheup5719 But she had no reason to believe he was lying. She snuck around and let it become a big thing when she could gave stifled it much sooner. I suffer from anxiety too, and I do this as well, but you can't take out your anxiety on other people, that's just not fair.

[@melanellie_art]

@@AndreNDP He WAS lying. He lied that the email was spam. He lied by omission regarding the jewelry and lingerie purchases. OP had plenty of reason.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@AndreNDP As melanellie said, PLUS every cheater is liar. They made a lie of their oath. They made a lie of the marriage. they made a lie of their life together. It makes zero sense to have a chat with a cheater. They are all liars. As all cheaters are liars, asking them if they are cheating will rarely result in anything but another lie. In this case he wasn't a cheater (but still a liar) but would talking about it have made a cheater come clean?

[@AndreNDP]

@@groofromtheup5719 But he's not a liar, just putting together a surprise for his wife. A cheater, maybe or maybe not, but at least you'd know something.

[@PurpleHeartsOnFire]

Story 2; Honestly they’re idiots. Not for getting remarried, but for involving a kid in their mess. They should have done couples counseling before he even considered remarrying her. Yeah people make mistakes yada yada, but now there’s a kid caught in their insecurity of being alone.

[@PurpleHeartsOnFire]

@@moon-moth1 I get that they’re not getting younger, but in the end the child doesn’t deserve to be in the middle of it. Maybe they did work something out, but this whole thing screams “make up for lost times”. Rushed getting married and then having a kid like it would have been the original timeline if they didn’t break up. Most marriage counselors recommend 3-5 years of marriage before children

[@carolroberts4614]

Why do people say' We're Pregnant'? Ok to We're having a baby!' Only on of us is pregnant! Wait until vasectomy time arrives.

[@Alisha21210]

I feel bad for OP in Story #1. I have depression that includes anxiety. I DO NOT like surprises, even if they're positive. If someone is going to hide gifts etc, it can't last longer than a week. The lies aren't good. I legit just tell my partner I have a surprise for them. That's all I'd need as a heads up as well. And OP may need a bit of therapy but having mental disorders means you don't have control of all your thoughts and feelings. So it creates fear. She had a panic/anxiety attack. That's pretty possible considering the disconnect with her husband. That definitely played a part in it as well.

[@groofromtheup5719]

I could easily see a scenario where this type of thing ends in self ending. Can you imagine causing that much pain to someone you really love over a misunderstanding like that? People really need to consider how their actions can be misinterpreted.

[@ChristopherCapersJones]

You mean suicide? KZbin doesn't really monitor comments.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@ChristopherCapersJones sometimes they seem to, other times they don't.

[@pansprayers]

@@ChristopherCapersJones they have a weird filtering comments on the platform alone, and creators can filter words/phrases more finely as well. So, yeah, that's incorrect.

[@LilChuunosuke]

Yeah, I hope OP's husband has learned from this and doesn't do anything like that going forward. I have a friend who would not let me buy him gifts unless he knew ahead of time what they would be. I've seen him get anxious and stressed over surprise gifts before. His comfort and mental health is far more important than surprising him

[@justinthompson6364]

Last update had me rolling my eyes. Maybe I'm too cynical but the idea of someone claiming to be in an adult relationship while proclaiming it's "obvious the universe had planned it" feels awfully ironic.

[@Harleyxjokerforever]

Honestly its the same vibe of someone dieing in a accident and then saying " oh well it was God's will" 😒

[@ladyfaeryj5108]

He deserves whatever he gets now

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@Harleyxjokerforever the two are not remotely similar

[@strangelic4234]

I'm usually not that cynic. I do believe in redemption and in second chances, under certain circumstances. But here I can only say - kudos to the ex. She broke his heart, branched out, it didn't work, so she went back to option 1 and baby-trapped him.She got her cake and ate it.

[@Ally.81]

While I will never in a million years go back to my ex even with kids, it is a sweet update, but honestly a prenup is not a bad idea just to be safe. Hope he thought about it before they got married.

[@AngharadMac]

Story 1: wtf is up with the sister blowing off someone sobbing on the phone like that? That was a terrible way to handle an anxiety attack. Also sister should have known that people with anxiety don't like surprises

[@trashcan2748]

I’m assuming that she was panicking herself and in a rush to tell the husband to go fix things

[@trashcan2748]

@@veezopolis That’s overly harsh. She basically was just given every reason to think that her husband was cheating and was distraught. She went to a close relative to talk to about it for comfort. Why on earth would someone panicking about the possible end of their marriage due to their spouse cheating that’s looking for comfort go to the presumably cheating spouse right away? Besides, isn’t it always encouraged to gather concrete evidence before confronting a cheating partner because cheaters tend to be gaslighters as well and such evidence can come in handy in divorce court (and would be immediately destroyed by a cheater if not otherwise backed up)? While we may know now that the husband was innocent, she would have had absolutely no way to know that at the time, hence it’s entirely reasonable for her to have proceeded as she did with the information that she had at the time

[@CouncilEstateRach]

I wouldnt trust him still.

[@Sparky0627]

She herself said "mild anxiety", not severe anxiety. Granted, the sister should have just told her at that time, but she had MILD anxiety before.

[@Harleyxjokerforever]

The last story) OP is a romantic and is letting a coincidence guide him. Honestly it's a small world and you'd be surprised who you run into. It not fate or destiny. 😕

[@MythicalHex]

it may not be fate or destiny, but her getting cheated on is definitely karmic justice xD

[@groofromtheup5719]

right? small town USA person here, (my graduating class was something like 40) and we've run into other people from our town in other countries on vacation.

[@jaymel4691]

I want to believe it will work out and the ex has grown and changed, but she apparently only felt bad about what she did to OP after the same thing was done to her. That does not show her in a good light. If she was so uncaring and selfish before, I wonder if just getting therapy can really do anything about those massive character flaws. And now they are bringing a child into this.. it sounds like a mess in the making once the honeymoon phase is over. I hope I'm wrong about that, if only for the kid's sake. OP at least needs a prenup. It's not cynical, it's just a responsible thing to do, for both of them.

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 2: Well, his life could be Doomed. I'm am an optimist and hope he doesn't, but I also believe in staying grounded. However he didn't stay grounded, and is likely going to get cheated on and divorced once more. Chemistry can mean being "In Lust" just as easily as it can mean being "In Love" he NEEDS a prenup as she has shown she will betray his trust.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Last story: I’m glad things worked out for him, but I’m not sure it will last. Hope it does, but still. The comments made very good points. It’s good to follow your heart and take chances sometimes, but it’s also good to be cautious and avoid people who have hurt you so severely. I just hope she’s really changed for the better.

[@naturalbaby]

Well he's trapped now due to the baby.

[@groofromtheup5719]

in 4-10 years, he will be destroyed.

[@noydb-1]

@@groofromtheup5719 My money is on 2 years or less.

[@ladyfaeryj5108]

He deserves everything he gets after taking he back, I have no sympathy for him at all

[@Bleg94]

it's not that it worked out, it CAN still work out, but for now it only worked out for his cheating ex/wife the main problem I see is, op rushed the relationship, them getting married that fast is basically trying to erase her cheating and acting like nothing did happen at all he assumes she changes but over that short time frame anyone can act like they changed, he is in love with the idea of her, the one that got away

[@dracawyn]

Story 1: me: "oh man. Not again. Please be a wholesome one. Please be a wholesome one." Update: me: "oh, thank heavens."

[@cyndib511]

Story 1, if OPs husband is hiding his phone and laptop, what did he expect her to think? Especially after having a conversation about feeling disconnected. Those are signs that almost 100% of the time mean he's up to no good, because people with nothing to hide, hide nothing. Maybe she overreacted by being a sobbing mess, but she believed her relationship was at risk, and no one has a right to judge her feelings over that. Personally I'd strangle my husband for planning a week-long trip without discussing it with me, that's not my idea of a good time. I also hate surprise parties.

[@thesixthkid7689]

It looked incriminating as Hell so if anyone blames OP they've never been cheated on and are lucky. I don't blame her, hubby was a dumbass but not at fault because he didn't know about her anxiety. Sister though, yeah she's in deep.

[@sylviajones6745]

I agree with Cyndi, 💯%

[@TriXJester]

Story 1: This is why I dont like surprises, they are NOT GOOD for people with anxiety disorders of any kind. Our brains dont work the same way other people's brains work, they will take the worse scenario first every time and the rabbit hole is terrible to crawl out of. Story 2: Its the age old adage - If they are willing to cheat WITH you then they will definitely end up cheating ON you.

[@Merryfrances]

Story 1: Heard this one before but it’s more entertaining being read by Mark on this channel. A good narrator/commentator makes all the difference. Thank you!

[@Sakuraqueen]

Yes, it does.

[@roelthas]

Just heard the first part of the 2nd story and all I can say is, let bygones be bygones. Even if OP starts a new relationship with her, with him she will always be the one that cheated away. The trust will never be the same as before and it certainly could never be better. I hope OP has enough self-worth and doesn't settle for that. After the update: Yeah, OP is, unfortunately, a fool... xD

[@kristinwiebold2433]

But I have to say I am glad that husband was not cheating and it was just a romantic getaway for them too. Hopefully it will help their marriage. I hope op gets some help for her anxiety but I hope hubby realizes that maybe OP isnt a surprise person

[@carolroberts4614]

Some people are so oblivious! My other half and I both don't like surprises, particularly parties. The most I do is book a weekend or a few days away, and tell him a month or two before we go! And get free cancellation!

[@personneici2595]

#1: OP's sister is so ignorant for suggesting a surprise. Did she not know about OP's anxiety? That's so cruel and dangerous.

[@pansprayers]

I kinda want to tell at both husband and sister. He's been with her long enough to know better, too. Neither he nor she are right here, and anyone calling OP out is nuts, hey?

[@MilfywayGalaxy]

Dude i thought "Alison" was the sister xD I need to get off KZbin.

[@ravenID429]

…what??

[@Domino365]

"Soulmate" is a word that I've grown to hate with a burning passion. That word just fills me with rage.

[@viralmasquerade]

Thinking about destiny or fate steers me wrong everytime. I had to have it beaten into me over and over again that the universe doesn't care about my relationships. So I don't care how unlikely it is to run into my cheating ex

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: he could be cheating but he could also be planning a surprise. Based on the sister's response, it seems likely the latter. He definitely didn't go about it right if it is a surprise.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: As soon as your sister told you it was fine, I knew he was planning a surprise for YOU, not an AP.

[@protoskeeper]

I will have to repost my comment from LG's video about that story: First Story: While I'm happy it has a good ending there are several things here I think should not be taken so easily: - How unhinged OP became. That is defenitely more than mild anxiety and she should get help. - How the sister handled the call. Just blowing OP off saying it's fine. One simple sentence could have fixed the whole mess: "Don't worry it's a secret surprise. that we are planning for you." - How the Husband handled the surprise. If you are making a secret surprise for someone and they find hints of it, just tell them "That's gonna be a secret surprise for you and you will find out when it's ready." Communication could have solved everything

[@pansprayers]

Wait, why do you think that this was out of proportion, again? Reactionary response to: hiding a laptop, cellphone, unknown lingerie, women's clothing, travel agent communication, and lying (did I get it all, might have missed a couple of signs of cheating -the second ultimate betrayal, the only one you survive - there) after having a clear conversation with your partner about your concerns about your relationship is now 'over the top'? Even someone WITHOUT crippling anxiety would be devastated. Ever been cheated on after you've had kids with the person? It's like having your heart ripped out, kicked across a football field, and then reinserted - it's physically PAINFUL when all of the pieces fit like this, regardless of whether or not you're looking at the back or the front of the puzzle. This is actually on the end of 'mild' compared to some extremes that the occasional few have. If you're in a relationship, knowing your partner's communication needs do not trump your wants to play hero is vital. The sister and the husband KNEW she had anxiety, but took a well intentioned plan and turned it into an exercise they failed simply by getting too wrapped up in wanting to prove how awesome they were. That's where this starts and ends.

[@protoskeeper]

@@pansprayers Out of proportion was the screaming breakdown in the kitchen where she herself said she felt it was bad. Her reaction assuming cheating and everything is completely understandable. Though if she herself already sees a need to change something about the breakdown, then I think it is fair to say she should

[@threeducks157]

3 years ago i was tutoring my cousin Dany, some nosey people texted my fiancee claiming i was seen at Starbucks several times with a tall blonde. Fiancee was apparently hysterical and called her dad, her dad calls me and asks what the heck aas going on... i was confused af, having no idea what they were talking about, until he asks "are you cheating with a tall blonde?" I freaking face palmed... i sent him a picture of me and the "tall blonde " as in my cousin Dany we look basically identical. Also that second story sounds a bit on the fake side lol.

[@heenagidwani3696]

Story 1: even if op didn't had anxiety or similar issue. Anyone would think that their husband is cheating on the stuff happening around. What if op didn't contact her sis or if her husband didn't ask her her sis help instead took someone else help. Suprises are good but being sneaky is not.

[@utha5034]

Story 1: the only problem I have is, when the email that he received said “Our Trip!” You can’t blame her for reading that wrong at all!!! I am glad it worked out, and I hope he wasn’t actually planning a trip with her sister or something crazy like that, and just swapped everything to his wife to hide it…

[@psychickumquat]

Story 2: I don't think i've seen anyone so naive in a while. OP torpedoed his life in record time. He deserves any consequences he gets for being such a fool.

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

Last story: OP I want an update if the cheater rips his heart out again and this time pegs him with child support payments. If she does then the OP deserves every painful moment

[@pansprayers]

I'd like one better in 25 years if Reddit's still around, and they're celebrating a milestone anniversary. Frankly, I was cheated on in an EXPONENTIALLY more horrific manner, but I wish him nothing but the best now that his brain and impulse control are fully developed. People can and do change, and there's a big difference between cynicism and being cynical. The latter is a personality trait that isn't very attractive, the former is just having the ability to analyse a situation.

[@saratronus]

I love how people forget that people change over the years this happened when they were relatively young like fresh out of college Now they've had a few decades to mature and become better people now they got back together this didn't happen overnight this took years of improving Themselves mainly her

[@teresadurham8828]

Okay, this is exactly why big surprises (especially for anxious or insecure people) are BIG NO's!! Small surprises that don't last long are great and show commitment, etc. But for the love of all that's holy, please stop doing this nonsense!

[@teresadurham8828]

And good grief, I almost (almost) feel sorry for the doormat OP in story 2 and I truly feel sorry for whatever children they bring into the world. Poor kids are gonna have some horrible immature parents.

[@pansprayers]

Right? Knowing your partner and how they react to these things is *vital* in a relationship. My husband loves surprises, so I'm happy to do that for him, but he's learned that anything 'grand gesture-esque' will immediately send my fight or flight straight into overdrive. Small things are OK now for me, but due to my past experiences (that I've come a long way in healing from), having major things sprung on me is just a bad scene for everyone involved.

[@teresadurham8828]

@@pansprayers I'm super happy for you that you found a kind and respectful hubby!! Props to him and props to you on your healing journey ❤️

[@pansprayers]

@@teresadurham8828 thank you! Luckily, my need to plan works great for surprises for him. Give and take.

[@teresadurham8828]

@@thecrowuknow I agree on those points but this is talking about a romantic surprise, which involves basically everything OP's husband was doing: lingerie, hotels, women's gifts, trip planning, etc. And I'm not saying it can't be done but don't drag out the time on it. For example, get some things that week, then the weekend make a presentation of it and blow their mind that you thought of doing all this, and then it gets better because the SO can help the trip exactly how they'd want and get input (or not). At least then SO's won't be seeing purchases that they've never heard of about romance. People that do these grand gestures for romance stretch it out too long and inevitably hide what they're doing. Or just tell SO, hey, I'm planning a romantic surprise so if you see things, ignore it until I show you. There are better ways. But this way just goes to show that OP's husband and sister don't pay any attention to what OP actually likes. They should know she's an anxious person who obviously internalized all this after already feeling disconnected from her husband and said she didn't feel appreciated as a wife and then she finds hidden romantic things so she would automatically think he's stepped outside the marriage for it if she wasn't the one providing it.

[@notoriousd.i.g.87]

Story 1: I feel like if the husband dropped hints something special is happening, things would have been better. But OP definitely needs to work on her anxiety.

[@pansprayers]

He needs to learn that his 'want' to suprise her doesn't trump her actual *need* for communication. Even a person who DOESN'T have anxiety would have freaked out with that trail of evidence. A big part of being in a relationship is learning how to care for your partner in a way that meets their needs. This was a great idea, but with both the sister and husband knowing about her existing anxiety, they made it more about themselves by the way they went about executing the plan.

[@beckyhartley9502]

@@pansprayers OP even acknowledges it's their issue because how are they going to react when unexpected things happen, which is realistic. You can't expect the entire world to tip toe around you.

[@toothless3835]

Yeah. It soundsl ike it wasn't something he'd done before so he was trying his best to make it something special. Of course he should apologize for making her worry, but she should also apologize for thinking the worst of him and not confronting him about it. I would feel awful for making my hubby think i was cheating on him but also incredibly hurt if he thought I was cheating on him. She needs therapy or something before they go out on their trip. Or something.

[@josephmbimbi]

Story 1: I feel for OP, however, somehow, the lack of communication really pisses me off: "i'm too scared to talk to my husband". How can you be married to someone and not be able to communicate your feelings and have tough conversations ? How can you be so distressd that you are on your knees in the kitchen worried about your partner infidelity and never have a discussion about that with him. That is so weird and, really, infuriating for me. And OP's distress must have been manifesting in her behaviour and visible, how did the husband not notice ? And approach her about it ? What is the meaning of that marriage ? Story 2: That looks like a VERY bad idea, but hey, he is the master of his own life

[@susankaempfer8427]

WHAT IS IT WITH THE SURPRISES. STOP!!!!! If op’s husband had just told her, she would have had all the joy of the trip PLUS the joy of looking forward to it. 🙄

[@LokasennaCole]

Story 2 : Sooo. you left your husband for someone that you knew was okay cheating, and got cheated on. Op's ex got what she deserved, and if he gets back with her he fucking deserves to be cheated on.

[@Bleg94]

2. Story: I truly hope that it works out for op, but he is a fool he meets his cheating ex, dates her for a short time and marries her that fast? it looks like he never truly got over her and is in love with the idea of her instead of being in love with her he claims she changed a lot, but after so much did happen to her in her life she is another person and her changing a lot also means that he doesn't know her anymore I am not opposed to anyone getting back together with an ex, maybe even a cheating ex AFTER A LONG TIME, but he should've waited atleast 2 years before even thinking about getting engaged to her in my opinion, getting to know her true new self but now if she didn't change? then he is going to be ex husband nr. 1 and 3, but this time he will be bound to her because of their child (which if wanted was also another stupid idea)

[@jacksongreen1319]

I just got my first job so imma play this while filling out the forms

[@greenjam8455]

How’s the job going?

[@jacksongreen1319]

@@greenjam8455 I'm still at it. I also just put in my application for a night welding school

[@jacksongreen1319]

I'm still going strong! I actually just applied to a night school for welding!

[@yque4733]

Story #2: OP is SIMPly fantastic. Let his fate have him, I say.

[@WobblesandBean]

I hate throwing around that word, but yeah, OP 2 is an utter idiot. I'll give it two years, tops, before she cheats on him again. Now he's saddled with this woman AND a child. He will never be able to travel, never take a work assignment in another part of the world, she won't let him, not with the kid in the picture. He's screwed.

[@sheilabracey4679]

@@WobblesandBean i will bet you cold hard cash that - he is not the father!!

[@laica01]

@@sheilabracey4679 was thinking the same, I hope he did a DNA test

[@shhd2105]

Chemistry doesn't mean you'll be good in a relationships, don't got back op

[@devchekhov7512]

Story 1: I'd send an angry text to my sister about suggesting the surprise, given my history of anxiety. Just because there were good intentions doesn't cancel out OP's panic attack.

[@Mimikinn]

Man, getting back together with a cheating ex is like trying to reheat your McDonalds.

[@sylviajones6745]

Ikr, the fries taste terrible and are greasy,lol

[@bannerturtoise1219]

Story 1: I think the obvious take away here is the husband is an idiot. He knows his wife has bad anxiety, but still decided on some bs surprise that makes him look like a cheater. Also, that lingerie is a present for him, not her.

[@devchekhov7512]

But hey--she gets some nice jewelry out of it lmao

[@toothless3835]

I like lingerie. >.> I'm a woman. It makes me feel sexy and wanted. I buy my own usually so I'd appreciate if my hubby bought one he'd like me to wear. Also fishnet stockings are lovely and make things feel tingly.

[@cv8167]

Husband: Buys womens clothing. Wife: Is he cheating on me? Husband: I feel pretty~ Oh so pretty~ All jokes aside, everything did look pretty sus. Glad her marriage didn't get ruined on accident.

[@groofromtheup5719]

I'm just glad she didn't do something permanent.

[@cv8167]

@@groofromtheup5719 Yeah, there's so many ways that this could have gone wrong. I'm surprised that the sister came up with the idea, and didn't realize how OP might take it with her anxiety.

[@mycupoverflows7811]

I was totally thinking he was crossdressing too lol

[@Rae.Harper]

Story 1. Something I never understood is, if people are planning ‘surprises’ for other people… why do they start acting oddly, often times distance or coldly towards the person they are surprising? How do they expect someone to act when that sort of shit happens? If my boyfriend went from all loving and caring to suddenly a bit cold and clearly hiding things… I’d be a worried about cheating too… and I have no reason to fear my partner cheating on me…

[@bridgetbenson6291]

Some people don't do well with surprises. I personally would be a little annoyed if my husband and sister didn't know me well enough to not surprise me.

[@teresadurham8828]

Same!!

[@CarinaCoffee]

I'm glad these stories had positive outcomes. The first story had me somehow so personally invested, by the time she was sobbing on the kitchen floor I was crying, but I could feel the relieve coming from the hope I got from what the sis said. OP and her hubby seem like mature people that talked about their issues and trying to reconnect and OP with that insight about herself. Maybe she should start writing with how invested I got in that story. With the second story, I really really hope for OP that age and therapy will mean this will last for the two of them.

[@pelgervampireduck]

last story: poor guy... he's so naive... it's obvious she found out he's doing great and wanted him back as a backup plan or for his money. he made a huge mistake, she's going to cheat and divorce again.

[@gorudashiro]

I hope for the best for the guy with the pre-cheating re-wife, but I'm too cynical.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

"My only advice is don't close your heart. You never know who will stroll into your life." Tell that to my (now twice over) ex 🙄 Once a jerk off, always a jerk off.

[@KCohere33]

I’m glad it’s a happy surprise but I think OP in story one needs therapy for her anxiety. She completely fell apart.

[@mc-rn8ro]

S1 Sister’s mad shady. “Hey, Dude, looking to reconnect with my sister? Well, she has a history of Anxiety, so why not give her EVERY REASON to believe you’re cheating on her???” “Hey, Sis! You sound upset! Oh well! Sucks! I know what’s going on, but I don’t care enough to tell you! Byyyyyye!!!!” Like…..wtf???

[@Endonia-ym3sl]

Story 2 - I truly hope things work out for them but I doubt it. Even with therapy and on maturing, what's to say she won't cheat again when she gets board or another coworker grabs her attention. It's probably the inner cynic in me but I would never trust someone who cheated on me, let alone remarry them and have a kid. Call it fate but I have serious doubts of this relationship working.

[@YaBoiGuzma]

Story 2: Welp, he's fucked...

[@thesixthkid7689]

Story 2: That dude is a straight up idiot. For his sake though I really hope it works out.

[@flashingunicorncupcakekiss1436]

Two divorces before 30 is a trend? I didn't get married till I was 30 now been married for 12 years. Your 20s are there for your mistakes and growing up. By time your 30 your finally finding your feet and 40s there to find the things that make up happy now.

[@Rukiah1]

Story 2: yeeeeaaaahhh OP is definitely a naive romantic. Hopefully his sign from the universe doesn't blow up in his face spectacularly like my cynical self thinks it will.

[@leegraves8878]

Last story year or two down the road hey reddit I posted and didn't take sage advice well she left with her new man and took half my stuff and my kid.

[@terramarini6880]

He acquired his stuff before the marriage, it is not considered marital property. She could however make bank on alimony/child support. That being said, people can change, and if he felt confident giving her a second chance I say Bonne chance and for the love of god do not give her a third chance if it comes to that again.

[@marybrown6756]

Mark-you are honestly a delight! You make me smile every day.

[@AIBot929]

I've heard both stories before and in summary Reddit is not the best place for relationship advice. Many on Reddit have the mindset that ppl never change which isn't true at all. There are things that many of us have done in our past that we would never do today or ever again. Ppl do and can learn from mistakes and are capable of growth. I'm glad it worked out for the OP in story 2 and I hope that thier relationship continues to work out

[@neonlights3739]

Hey Mark- it’s been a while since you’ve read a story from your subreddit! I just saw one the other day that was really funny called ‘AITA for Flashing the Repairman?’ and I think you would really like it lol

[@deettekearns9092]

Story 2 - I'm so happy OP went for it! I hope they live happily ever after!

[@browniewin4121]

1) So sorry OP that you are having this happen and making you feel so confused and scared and crushed. After edits: I'm glad you have a support system and can talk with your sister. After speaking with her it really sounds like sis knows he is planning some nice surprise for you. After update: Oh gosh, it's so nice how this turned out. I'm really happy for you that you have a committed and loving husband who wanted to do something romantic for you. 2) It sounds like she has truly repented and changed and if you are now getting on well, continue to see each other but take it slow. After update: I'm glad it is working out for you. Congrats on becoming a father.

[@nadashaelkerson6385]

I'm so happy for the last story! Love is real just like healing and reconciliation!

[@noydb-1]

Story 1: She needs to talk with hubby about how his behavior (hiding phone/laptop, lying about texts from women, etc.) was sketchy, and almost cost him his family, just for a surprise moment. Story 2: Am so ready for the update in a couple of years where she meets a new "soulmate" and ditches OP again. Of course he will be shocked and surprised somehow that she could do something like that to him, again.

[@tovelokiwifeodindottir9936]

Second story I'm was in the same position as OP, my dumb ass got back with him and it was the best decision I ever made. Going in 4 years now and still strong

[@horsepanther]

Wow, that's surprising! I'm glad it worked out well for you. Hopefully it will work out the same for the OP.

[@pansprayers]

Yup, statistically speaking, marriage after 25 has about a 16% chance of ending in divorce (as opposed to around 60% in under 25), and prior history really doesn't change the number much in either direction. People change, their brains finish developing, and they figure out who they are as people.

[@lucretciaseven4873]

Last video, reminds me of the saying 'you lose them the same way you got them.'

[@James-sq4sc]

I would never get back together with an ex. Let alone someone capable of cheating on me with little to no reason. What if you slip up? Your anniversary gift wasn’t grand enough. You work a few hours too much. Cheaters love cheating and always want more.

[@MathewCR]

God forbid he go to a work trip 💀

[@lilianaranea7892]

Story 1: I totally thought he was crossdressing.

[@teresadurham8828]

I thought he was cheating with sister

[@Cassimfan]

@@teresadurham8828 Same.

[@sylphiongamer8201]

And this is why I hate surprises. Comunication is key.

[@carlrood4457]

We live in New York. We once ran into a family we're acquainted with in Downtown Disney (now DIsney Springs). It was their last day their and our first.

[@tandelogan2825]

Last story beautiful! I am so glad OP didn't listen to Reddit...fate was more powerful!

[@GrayTimber]

I think OP from first story was justified in her reaction. She already had so many concerns, responsibilities, fears, ect ect. Finding all of these very damning things around that implied an affair... oof. I'd be very upset too. I'm happy it turned out to be a romantic getaway surprise instead. Maybe husband can size down the surprises in the future

[@ivy4104]

dude, theres a storm warning in my area and you just sweetened my kinda scary drive home, thx :D

[@NeroTheDarklord]

Story 2: I strongly disagree with op. I let my ex back into my life and planned a future with her, going so far as to live with her on the opposite end of the country. Biggest mistake of my life. She only acted like she grew up and became more stable. She kept up the facade until I was thoroughly stuck with her. Then she revealed that the years only made her even more unstable as she never sought professional help, doesn't believe in it, is convinced there's nothing wrong with her and she doesn't need to change. What followed were three years of torture where I tried to convince myself it will eventually get better, but it never did. I had enough of suffering and am looking for a way out, while her behavior keeps escalating now that we aren't together anymore and she lost her job. She wakes me up in the middle of the night to scream and slam door, in an apartment with tenants all around us. She threatened to do whatever she can to make me homeless. Right now, I stay in an emergency shelter just to get away from her, but only for a short time longer. Then I have to move back into the same apartment as her and keep looking for a way out while she's pressuring me out the door. People, don't date your ex. Especially if they were mentally unstable in the past. Everything they tell you could be a lie and you won't find out until it's too late

[@MathewCR]

Offf! You guys own the apartment?

[@NeroTheDarklord]

@@MathewCR No. We rent. Fortunately I found a way out. I sadly had to give up my job which I very much liked, but I'm moving back home and in with my parents. She didn't even help me pack my stuff and just made useless comments what I should pack next while she laid on the bed and doodled on her iPad. But I'm done packing now and next week, the moving company comes. Then, this nightmare finally ends

[@lisakaz35]

Twist: sister's name is Alison.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

That was a surprise update for story 2. But man is reddit with a negative view on these things? Life isn't a story, people can fall back in love and have a positive life after whatever heck happened to cause the downfall.

[@EllieC130]

Story 2: Maybe I’m just a bit less jaded but I wish OP luck. People can change. I have to believe that because otherwise I wouldn’t continue trying to be better every day.

[@ruvart1]

I hope Mark covers the 3rd update in the Story #2, you know, when op finds out that his now wife is cheating on him again or he finds out that the child is not his

[@LunarisArts]

Ooh... that first one could have ended so much worse... like in her harming herself worse.

[@moebiusjdx7288]

Ahhhh geeez the update for story 2 disappointed me... I really hope things work out, but damn... Second chances are risky.

[@Phoenix_DarkMoon]

The first story sounds like how I would react. I have anxiety and I know I am codependent. I see a therapist regularly and am on medication to cope but it definitely got worse after having children and becoming a stay at home mother.

[@kimmmerkim5811]

Some people do NOT like surprises

[@avynthegoat]

Damn was not expecting that update for the 2nd story

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

I should never had read the comments under this video on story 2. The sheer amount of (1) mocking people for having any form of belief (2) misogyny (3) cynicism (4) trashing OP like he is the worst piece of human garbage. I didn't think this community could be so hateful...

[@ggdail]

Story 2: Looking forward to OPs update in 2-3 years when she bails again & he's probably gonna have to DNA test the kid(s).

[@fate_clotho9596]

Wheat an absolutely shitty thing to say. I'd truly hate to have you as a RL friend with an attitude like yours. I honestly do feel badly for any friends and family that you do have.

[@agnesstrzykowska4300]

Lucky OP in the first story...in my case it was all you could expect: young lover, betrayal, lies, pain, divorce .... luckily it ended up in a divorce.

[@zerobolt9506]

I knew it with story 1, yea it did seem like cheating, but it started to seem more like a surprise as it went on, what made it clear for me was OP's sister saying everything is ok.

[@Logitah]

That freakout might be what OP in the first story needs. I'm glad she acknowledges that she needs help!

[@aceanarchy5554]

Story 1: I have anxiety and damn i would have also believed he was cheating. He really was acting very suspicious and I genuinely would have believed he was buying things for an affair partner.

[@NeroTheDarklord]

Story 1: it really sounded like cheating to me as well until the sister got involved. Her reaction immediately told me she's in the know and nothing bad is going on. I have to agree though that such a severe breakdown absolutely needs professional attention.

[@Hevensdemonddm]

Story 2, I give it 5 years before he is back asking for divorce tips

[@Crazy-Cat-Lady-of-CA]

"Getting back together with an ex is like throwing away spoiled milk then 3 days later go to the trash can and taste it to see if it's good."

[@paperkay]

And that is why I never ever ever allow surprises in our marriage.

[@katiesmith2031]

Mark thanks for the video hope you and poppy are having a wonderful day hope it's not too windy for you please stay safe both of you

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8 much love 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@ruthbeamish8849]

That poor woman was worn out. Rumbustous boys are a mega handful. Worry and stress levels high. Very vulnerable. Not surprised that she jumped to the wrong conclusion. But what a gem of a husband.

[@arrowhart2008]

Hey Mark. 👋 I've been listening to your channel for about 8 months now averaging 4-5 days a week roughly 5 hrs a day. Love your channel. Listen while I'm at work. Like commenting when I can sneak it in. Lol.

[@Locstarryael]

Story 2: really hope it works out for them, especially for OP. I’m not as forgiving but I do believe people can change around for the better.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S2: Yuk, I was cringing all the way through. I hate it when people ask for advice, get a resounding "Don't do it," do it anyway, and then spend the next 30 minutes waxing poetic trying to convince everyone that "really guys, it's awesome, trust me!" My ex-best friend used to do that with her scumbag bfs. We'd tell her they were trouble, she'd deny, deny, deny with her rose-colored glasses firmly in place and insist they were wonderful. Then want to cry on our shoulders when inevitably her heart got smashed again. Maybe it's my past experience jading me, but something about this one felt jarringly off; my gut and warning bells are pitching a hissy fit. If she does it again, OP not only allowed it, he begged for it. So many quotes fit here: "Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice," Once a cheater, always a cheater," "Fuck around and find out," "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes..." I could go on and on.

[@toothless3835]

story 2, dude's going to get his heart ripped out. the poor fool.

[@jennywhite2462]

story 2 One of my friends was cheated on once. He did everything he could to fix his marriage. I couldn't understand it. I kept saying to my mom I don't get it. She said if you can get past it sometimes your marriage can come out stronger on the other side. The friend and his wife got therapy. He got over it and they went on to have two kids they seem very happy. Personally I wouldn't be able to get over it. I would always have it in the back of my head. I do hope OP and his wife make it work their second go round. Hopefully their marriage will be stronger then the first time.

[@kolonarulez5222]

Thank Frick that story turned out the way it did. The way OP wrote I was ready for heartbreak

[@camwyn256]

One woman I dated that cheated on me, when confronted, said she cheated on me because I always treat her well and never argue