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I had a meltdown today🥺❤️

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Toren Wolf

Toren Wolf

Ай бұрын

I believe it is important to share raw moments, so once I calmed down, my mom helped me get some of my thoughts out.❤️❤️❤️
What do you do to help with meltdowns?❤️❤️❤️
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#autism #adhd #actuallyautistic #audhd #neurodivergent
#autism #adhd #meltdown #actuallyautistic

Пікірлер: 603
@susanb2171
@susanb2171 Ай бұрын
Seems like kitty knows how to make it better afterwards.
@86PKG
@86PKG 23 күн бұрын
They do. I have a cat as well. Cats react and mirror our emotions. Sometimes I don't even know how stressed I am until it's too late, but with my cat around, he lets me know because he gets stressed as well. So when I pet him, it calms and regulates both of us. Cats are wonderful for us. 😢❤
@torakfett3351
@torakfett3351 2 күн бұрын
@@86PKGours too. ❤❤ they really amazing for emotional regulation.
@kgreene460
@kgreene460 Ай бұрын
Your sweet kitty come to comfort you at the end was so great!
@LaurenOliviArt
@LaurenOliviArt Ай бұрын
Big hugs ❤
@jemoeder5347
@jemoeder5347 22 күн бұрын
That moment was sooo sweet. The entire video is so vulnerable and honest and then the cat coming to comfort you... I don't see myself as very neurodivergent but as a 100% cat person I know those moments.
@countessdelancret2447
@countessdelancret2447 Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your journey. I get this, people normally don’t understand that I need to be left alone when I’m having a meltdown too.
@susa5846
@susa5846 Ай бұрын
I feel this so hard. I know it from myself so this was the first thing I learned my child when she was quiet little: it is okay to be alone if you want. But if you want to be with me I'm there. It's very hard for her father to understand and act like this. But he's getting used to it. In kindergarden one person with a neurodivergent kid herself understood. The others learned my child needs time alone after such situations over time. I guess the hardest thing for others is feeling helpless. I personally don't feel so because I know giving her space and time is the best I can do for her in this situations.
@QuasiiiNominall
@QuasiiiNominall Ай бұрын
⁠@@susa5846My father didn’t believe my autism diagnosis, and didn’t believe in mental illness either. So I was raised to shut up and stay quiet, never having anyone stop and explain to me what was “wrong” with me. Nobody told me till I was a teenager and already suffered through mockery and bulling that the school was just fine with. Ended up really harming how I go about life. To this day I cut off relationships because I feel ashamed in myself or think I’d somehow be a burden on them. To me, not being in anyone’s life was like a gift to them, so I pretty much had nobody my whole life. People gotta understand that how we’re treated as children sticks with us our whole lives. Just being autistic is already traumatic, let alone the emotional neglect that loves to come with it.
@cicicave1279
@cicicave1279 17 күн бұрын
@@QuasiiiNominall Honestly, I feel this to some level, but not necessarily from childhood. More-so in and throughout my adulthood. I'm not saying I've never once experienced kindness in my adulthood, but I was def. put down and criticized a lot for what I chose to do w/my life as an adult later on (and this was by my most of my own family)-but as an adult or not, how does 1 tell their parents something like that? I didn't realize it until recently, but all that put me in a major whirlwind of negativity and not necessarily that, but so many different thing happened throughout my life, that it caused me to hate myself for diff. reasons. I do understand no one is responsible for anyone's happiness and we're only responsible for our own happiness, but having friends is what helps us feel happy esp. if/when they're long-term friends (sadly, most of mine have left my friendship)-I only left 1 of my friends due to long-story short: a toxic situation they got themselves into & refused to listen to me, my gut & my advice despite being right abt. everything I told them abt. a certain someone. Given, I did attempt to reach out to them wanting to be friends w/them again due to Jules LeBlanc saying in 1 of her videos: "Besties don't leave each other,"-I can't find it, but she did say that in 1 of them. Given, I do agree w/that, but it also depends on the situation/circumstances at hand too. Also, I hope the 1st half makes sense.
@user-bb1kq9hl4n
@user-bb1kq9hl4n 13 күн бұрын
I had this also… Anxiety with the world’s problems…but we can take every thing to God in prayer.We have dreams and desires but God!…. He wants all of our hearts and to hear the cares of the people around us.As we pray for the individuals around us you’ll find their problems start to get answers.And you we’re privileged to help be a part in the answers to their anxieties!Wow,to know God hears your prayers and is also concerned about the circumstances that surround you!What a relationship,now you will find your dreams will start to unravel and come to life!Never give up your pourpose is about to take flight!😊
@countessdelancret2447
@countessdelancret2447 12 күн бұрын
@@QuasiiiNominall I always had an issue with cutting off contact because I felt like I was too complicated inside and I felt like I was a burden as a friend. But one friend showed me how wrong I was. He was respectful, kind, but also tenacious. He didn’t give up on me and when I saw after a month that he was worried about my safety and well being and he wasn’t just sending me angry messages I understood I was hurting him by leaving. On my side of things I loved him as a friend, I was going through a hard time and I felt guilty about showing it. But he showed me that you can’t always run from problems and that there are real genuine friends out there who can care and love others unselfishly. If you care a burden to someone let them tell you that and know that they are not worth your friendship. Try to hold onto the good friends you find. Be brave, don’t be afraid of emotion, your life will be better for it.
@nub1vagant
@nub1vagant Ай бұрын
I can really relate to you as another autistic teen. Meltdowns are so hard that they all just blur together into a monotonous feeling of pain and fear when you try to look back on them. The few memories that remain are all jumbled up, and I can't remember which meltdown was which, and sometimes I even forget why I had a meltdown in the first place. I think this must happen to a lot of people. Thank you for spreading awareness and making people feel less alone
@whitepouch0904
@whitepouch0904 Ай бұрын
I remember all my meltdowns it usually caused by pent up anger, frustration and rejection. Then after that I’ll feel ashamed 😢
@heywhatupgames6257
@heywhatupgames6257 Ай бұрын
I'm not a teenager, but the same thing happens to me. Sometimes I remember my meltdowns and sometimes I don't. It can be really frustrating....😢😔
@marryannc7691
@marryannc7691 Ай бұрын
@@nub1vagant I asked my son who is a teen too & it’s the same answer. His meltdowns jumble together.
@Shanti565
@Shanti565 Ай бұрын
I hate my meltdowns. The slightest thing can set me off. Its like there is more input than I can handle.😔😢
@heathertxuk
@heathertxuk Ай бұрын
Same with me, and my son too. 😔
@Bubble0seven
@Bubble0seven 15 күн бұрын
@@heathertxuk feels with social media it is hard to believe people anymore since "everybody" seems to have this
@MarieJ333
@MarieJ333 Ай бұрын
I’m a high functioning autistic female adult and it’s extremely difficult even for myself. I have a high masking ability but I have the tendency to shut down and shut everyone out of my life for an extended period of time. It helps but I don’t think it’s a sound solution to my problem. Wishing you well in these circumstances 🥺
@dorisoneal1323
@dorisoneal1323 22 күн бұрын
You just described how my daughter handles her difficulties! She's also high functioning & has a strong masking ability. I hate when she shuts us out. But at the same time I understand that is how she's best able to cope. So, I just wait for her to open up to us again.
@mahh154
@mahh154 Ай бұрын
The hardest part of mine is being scared of hurting others. I don't. Just raising my voice is enough for me to feel I could be a detriment to who's trying to help me. So leaving me alone is indeed the best course of action because I can just feel my feelings and not worry about anyone else.
@shaae_26
@shaae_26 15 күн бұрын
it’s the same for me. i say stuff i don’t mean and i scream at people i love if they try to get involved and it just makes it worse cuz then i had myself for it
@HelloHamburger
@HelloHamburger 15 күн бұрын
There's been a lot of times with my parents that I don't care if I hurt their feelings because they'll keep pushing me into a bad place until I explode and won't leave me alone.
@elibell5098
@elibell5098 Ай бұрын
"hot static" is a fabulous way of describing a feeling or experience that others may not have ever had. I have experienced "hot static" during/after a meltdown.
@Hayden-rc1ru
@Hayden-rc1ru 9 күн бұрын
As someone who is not autistic, I've experienced ''hot static'' in other types of overwhelming situations, so it was probably a helpful description for a lot of us.
@checkmate9756
@checkmate9756 Ай бұрын
I had many meltdowns as a young child and teen, and I wasn’t diagnosed with autism at the time… so my meltdowns were seen as anger issues, and I was often reprimanded. Afterwards I’d feel so embarrassed and then would have to deal with the aftermath… and with family members thinking I’m just misbehaved and a bad person… it’s really hard, and I know how it feels. Afterwards, the comedown is really hard to deal with also…
@auntieducky
@auntieducky Ай бұрын
❤ I am a 38yo autistic/adhder I have 2 kids with the same diagnosis. You were so strong. You were able to describe what I watched when my kids meltdown; what I feel when I have a meltdown. Thank you so much. I am so glad you have your momma to guide you. Keep making the videos you can. It helps people like me.
@Sweetlyfe
@Sweetlyfe Ай бұрын
Hey Toren, thank you I know that was difficult for you to talk about and you are very courageous in doing so, because it helps me a Man who was only diagnosed as a 55yr old man, and I recognise myself so much at the same age. I’m glad that you have an understanding Mum, and your beautiful cat to come and help you through those emotionally difficult times. Until you verbalised( British English sp) the memory loss it reminded me of all the times I couldn’t remember an argument, or a meltdown and what I said. Thanks mate I really appreciate you being vulnerable like that.
@CricketGirrl
@CricketGirrl Ай бұрын
I hate meltdowns. I tend not to remember them either, but loved ones have had no issue telling me in great, glorious, guilt-ridden detail. I agree you shouldn't try to interact with someone in a meltdown. I think of it as the emotional equivalent of an epileptic seizure. We have zero control over what we say and do. ❤❤❤
@marryannc7691
@marryannc7691 Ай бұрын
Meltdowns suck. I can see you’re still coming down from it in this video. The comedown is worse than the Meltdown itself. Or that’s the way it is with my boy. Sending you big good vibrations. ❤️
@TeriHargraveartist
@TeriHargraveartist Ай бұрын
Meltdowns can be physically painful can't they. So many people don't realise.
@HonestlyHolistic
@HonestlyHolistic 26 күн бұрын
Questioning now if my mental breakdowns are actually meltdowns… how can I tell the difference?
@BarryWaterlow
@BarryWaterlow Ай бұрын
Toren’s emotional honesty is wonderful.
@videosofhubris
@videosofhubris Ай бұрын
Youre not alone. It's extremely upsetting to feel, and you're not alone on your feelings.
@kathybond4202
@kathybond4202 Ай бұрын
I’m an mother, g-mother and aunt of neurodivergents. The more I watch your mom and you , the more I understand my exciting family members and most importantly myself. You are the first person I have ever related to as for a my “break downs”. I recognize when I need alone time, however if I must “give my time” to other tasks I become very frustrated. I can never process heated conversations and cannot even remember what I just said. I’ve never been able to remember conversations, written transcripts or video I can recall. Thank you for sharing.
@superdrwholock
@superdrwholock Ай бұрын
I hate having public meltdowns it's so embarrassing and like you said not remembering what you did makes it hard, I seem to create what I might've done in my head and then panic over what I might have done
@emmapalya1682
@emmapalya1682 Ай бұрын
I'm late diagnosed and I struggle with shame after meltdowns. They're also extremely physically draining to me. I often forget why a meltdown occurred and will sometimes not realize they're coming on until it's too late to prevent them. Wishing you easier moment and so much support!
@commander.saavik
@commander.saavik Ай бұрын
Thanks for posting this. It's really helpful to see how I'm not alone. I hope others find it helpful too.
@messinalyle4030
@messinalyle4030 Ай бұрын
Sending comforting vibes. Feel better soon. I'm a middle-aged autistic woman. I seldom have meltdowns, but when I do, I still remember them. Most of the time I just cry. Generally I can control everything except the crying. Even on those occasions when I want to scream and/or smash things, I can refrain. It's mostly an explosive internal reaction.
@H.Michele
@H.Michele Ай бұрын
And having a cat who knows is such a gift. Getting cats has helped us so much.
@stairwaygoddess
@stairwaygoddess Ай бұрын
Hot static is a good description, I think. I've been told by my therapist to feel where in my body I'm experiencing discomfort during intense emotions, and what kind of physical feeling it is. Maybe that can help, it does help me a lot.
@susa5846
@susa5846 Ай бұрын
Thank you, I'll try this. ❤
@ChyarasKiss
@ChyarasKiss Ай бұрын
Thank you for voicing this. My son is Non-Verbal. When he has a meltdown his presents with hitting his forehead, check, chin. We got a helmet for when he does this. But he sometimes takes it off. (He’s fast) We got it because he was causing lumps and bruises. It’s heartbreaking to watch.
@bumblebee5990
@bumblebee5990 Ай бұрын
Hugs to you Mom. You are amazing!
@daisyjo88
@daisyjo88 Ай бұрын
As a mum, this is the worst part for me. We didn’t know what autism was until our child was seventeen. Just learning the term “meltdown” helped us be less anxious and more supportive. Thinking of you and wishing you well.
@trisham7986
@trisham7986 Ай бұрын
aw I can relate (ptsd) when I have an episode or panic attack I forget most of it after and get tired after. But my Brain is protecting me from something when I can't remember what ever it was that upset me. When you are ready and calmer maybe you might remember and than you can analyze it more logically. But it upsets me too when there is information mixed in the memory that I really need to remember and can't.
@its3amandilostmypassword
@its3amandilostmypassword Ай бұрын
The loosing memory is so real
@elwood393
@elwood393 Ай бұрын
Awwww, Toren! 😢 I can so relate! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this aspect of your life. I’m sure that’s not easy to do, but it sure does make others (like me) feel seen and understood. I’m so sorry you hit a rough patch today. Hang in there, dude.
@karav8133
@karav8133 Ай бұрын
I love how your cat comes over to help. Thanks for sharing, you are really a gift to this world Toren, and I so appreciate your mother, also ❤️
@jessicaoppegaard2244
@jessicaoppegaard2244 Ай бұрын
Aww it's exhausting. Suppressing feels worse for me
@juliamcqueen6305
@juliamcqueen6305 Ай бұрын
Meltdown are hard to describe when someone is having one. And when someone wants to help it’s gets harder to understand what they are going through. I’ve been on both sides, specially when my anxiety is getting worse on some days. You are right when you are having a meltdown sometimes your mind will wipe it out, but there are people who are there for you and will help with your meltdown after you calm down. Everyone goes through these meltdowns and we still care and love you no matter what happens. Hope you have better day soon.
@grannyappleseed
@grannyappleseed Ай бұрын
Melt downs are so hard on both child and mom. My daughter used to bite my body. Arms legs, all over. She would kick holes in every wall in my house over and over and bash her head off the floor. I knew it wasn't easy on her but boy, I never thought I'd make it through those years of meltdowns... Happy to say meltdowns are rare now that shes a teen
@mamasquatch
@mamasquatch Ай бұрын
That was incredibly brave of you, to so openly share your emotions. You really are helping others in bigger ways than you can imagine. You are an amazing person. ❤
@anxen
@anxen Ай бұрын
It helps me to think about how our neurology works, so I just think of synapses being overloaded and flushing out (includes short term memory). It's maybe worth thinking of it like very very bad vertigo. Or having a really awful flu for a very short period of time. Don't feel bad about yourself because there is no way to fully control what is basically autonomous nervous system response.
@phoenix_rising1375
@phoenix_rising1375 Ай бұрын
It does happen so fast and even though I've started to recognize the signs I need to just go lay on the floor in a quiet room and stare at the ceiling, sometimes I can't or I try to suppress because I have other things to do which I inevitably regret. For me the feelings of shame and guilt afterwards are the worst. Self-forgiveness and compassion are so important for after meltdowns. ❤
@lenorekoch6494
@lenorekoch6494 Ай бұрын
Dude, we all meltdown at some point or another- I can see how it would be frustrating not to know the triggers as it's wiped from memory, but maybe you don't get stuck in an endless loop of replaying that 'old tape' trying to figure it out... I dearly love you and your mom- I'm autistic like her, and have a son much like you!
@chantelchapman4875
@chantelchapman4875 Ай бұрын
❤I love how authentic you are and how you share with people to help them learn and support people like you.❤️
@ering7530
@ering7530 Ай бұрын
thank you for being brave and sharing. you help so many people,
@benjohnsen1608
@benjohnsen1608 Ай бұрын
Thinking about you all and hoping for a better day tomorrow.
@threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat8863
@threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat8863 Ай бұрын
I'm sure yall have already thought of this but on the off chance you haven't, do you have a self care plan in place for after? Like if a hot bath is soothing with whatever sounds you like hearing that could be good to have that plan for after every meltdown. Or if you just want to sit in a room in the dark with silence? I don't think I'm autistic but I do have something kin to meltdowns that happens to me sometimes and going outside with my headphones in with my favorite music playing helps me after. For my son he just likes to be left alone and walk. When he is done walking he feels much better.
@kl9635
@kl9635 Ай бұрын
Toren you and your mom are amazing ❤your helping so many people understand what happens to us and what it’s like to be this way . thank you
@recoverykonie407
@recoverykonie407 Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing. Thank you Mom for your gentle, thoughtful model. I love the safety of your relationship. You put in the work to be safe.
@imaddi
@imaddi Ай бұрын
I have never been diagnosed with autism but when I was younger, and even now I have meltdowns. It took me a long time to realise why they happen and still don't know the words to describe it. As soon as it's over, I forget what happened, why it happened, and those around me believe it to be a flaw in me.
@Hermitthecog
@Hermitthecog Ай бұрын
It's challenging to witness as one can't help but empathize (incidentally my cats also show up for comfort during the post-meltdown cooling period); growing up undiagnosed I often worried that I might hurt someone if I lost control while upset. It's not easy to learn how to manage a behaviour that one has no clear memory of, particularly given that men were (traditionally) taught to suppress our emotions anyway.
@FORGOTTENMINDFREAK23
@FORGOTTENMINDFREAK23 Ай бұрын
Undiagnosed ADHD here, possibly autism too. Absolutely drowning here and had the meltdown on the phone with my team leader because the workload they're giving me just isn't possible. I'm stressed, I'm overloaded, and I'm not receiving any accommodation whatsoever bc I'm not diagnosed but I can't afford to be. I see you, I feel you and I'm crying with you.
@njrom2975
@njrom2975 12 күн бұрын
Do you think u need accommodation just cause you got Adhd ? I don’t think it’s fair for everyone . I think your boss is an asshole but don’t use your adhd or whatever to get accommodations from a neurotypical job, neurotypical have problems and hardships and sometimes the boss is just a bad leader , instead of asking for accommodations why not complain and report HIS behavior and treatment to everyone, not just u .
@FORGOTTENMINDFREAK23
@FORGOTTENMINDFREAK23 11 күн бұрын
@njrom2975 I'm not asking for unreasonable things, and some other people also have similar accommodations. Adhd can be disabling, and someone with it has every right to ask for things that will help them do their job. No different to people asking for a desk setup, etc.
@sarahlencioni607
@sarahlencioni607 Ай бұрын
I understand where your coming from I have a little bit of austism and ADHD. When I was a kid I Was hyper sensitive to anything and everyone which made me a target to bullying.
@DebB-s1i
@DebB-s1i Ай бұрын
❤Thank you for your courage in showing such raw footage It helped me understand someone I love who can’t always find the words to share such raw feelings❤️much love to Toren and family what you do matters and you make a difference in the lives of everyone whether autistic or those of us who love them❤
@jill6979
@jill6979 Ай бұрын
I am so proud of you young man. I am a 43 year old female who had ADHD impulsive/hyperactivity type since 3rd grade. We never treated it, so I am a grown woman who still has meltdowns. Somehow it's less understandable to see an adult go through it - I highlight the help and knowledge available today. You got this, and you are NOT alone ❤
@ctlo4403
@ctlo4403 Ай бұрын
How lovely to have caring family to discuss and support through. ❤
@breekc6783
@breekc6783 Ай бұрын
Meltdowns suck, I never know what’s going to set me off. my cat also comforts me after I’ve had a meltdown too. Thank you for posting these videos; they’re really informative and they make me feel like I’m not alone in this world that is made for neurotypicals.
@Sketch-n-doodlez
@Sketch-n-doodlez Ай бұрын
Awh, I’m sorry you had a meltdown ❤ i can 100% relate to this, i can’t usually remember stuff after meltdowns, and as a very moody person: i have a lot of them- almost daily, lol. I love how you express yourself and be completely vulnerable with your audience, it’s beautiful. ❤
@MrsLeBlanc14
@MrsLeBlanc14 Ай бұрын
This broke my heart. Thank you for being vulnerable and brave to share this.
@Jakeharris2001
@Jakeharris2001 Ай бұрын
I grew up with autism myself and I had ADHD… so I understand. I’ve been through this exact thing myself… Your not alone keep pushing through you got this.
@dawnhughes9942
@dawnhughes9942 Ай бұрын
I'm an autistic adult. We are not safe in society because of meltdowns. I have been handcuffed and taken away for weeks because I made people uncomfortable. I have developed PTSD and great fear of law enforcement and EMS. I hope someday it becomes safe for us to exist. Compassion for you my friends.
@Loveoneanother2023
@Loveoneanother2023 Ай бұрын
I explain it as my brain is a computer and it has to force a restart to save itself. Hang in there it gets better with age.
@Sashaiordanov
@Sashaiordanov Ай бұрын
❤❤❤ I'm so sorry Toren! Wishing you a safe and happy day!
@C_J_882
@C_J_882 Ай бұрын
I actually had a meltdown earlier today. I got extremely overwhelmed because my dad did something that completely chnaged my routine for the day and I shut down. I dont usually remember what happens either, and its so frustrating when you can't remember. Thank you so much for posting this, because it makes me feel less alone. Thank you ❤
@daisyjo88
@daisyjo88 Ай бұрын
I’m so glad you have shared this example! Abrupt changes in routine (or even non abrupt) are such a challenge! Especially if those close to you don’t understand. I hate to think of all the times a meltdown has been labeled an “overreaction” and the person shamed for it. Hoping you are having a good day.
@ProdigyAngel33_Nagichan
@ProdigyAngel33_Nagichan Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable moment and your insight. It helps others to know some strategies to help and when just to step back and come back later to support, though it is always a bit heartbreaking to watch people go through something and feel helpless too. Be gentle with yourself and know that you touch many people's lives. Feel better and I hope the rest of your day is full of sunshine.
@Me-hf4ii
@Me-hf4ii Ай бұрын
I am so sorry you are going through this. I still remember all the meltdowns I don’t remember - especially bad during teen years. Once I really got a handle on my stress, and really keeping a grip on my emotions, they got better. I pray you experience the same thing as you get older. I have a very low stress life now and I haven’t had a true, amnesia level meltdown in over 10 years. I have had shutdowns that I knew meant I needed to withdrawal and recoup or my family would see a side of me I couldn’t take back (and probably wouldn’t remember) but we can manage those and I am ok with those… I pray in time you find some sort of similar solace and control… and amount of environmental control I need to not have meltdowns is very high… so it’s not like I’m “better” - but I found a system that works to keep me safe and healthy, and keep my family safe and healthy too.
@MarsTV_Cartoons
@MarsTV_Cartoons 23 күн бұрын
"Hot static" is so brilliantly descriptive. We feel you.
@charlesjackson6015
@charlesjackson6015 20 күн бұрын
So heart wrenching that anyone has to suffer like this. Sending love your way, buddy.
@onfirefoley2792
@onfirefoley2792 Ай бұрын
Thank you, helps me understand my lil Mr. Hes got such a huge heart an totally falls apart after "meltdowns" ❤
@JF-kv1gm
@JF-kv1gm Ай бұрын
Thank you, Toren. You're eloquence and willingness to share your vulnerability is a gift to so many people. Your beautiful cat is very sensitive to your emotional state.😊
@maplekeepsakes
@maplekeepsakes Ай бұрын
Take your time!, and hug that sweet kitty ❤️
@InterstellarDreams
@InterstellarDreams Ай бұрын
New-ish subscriber, here! And I wanted to say, I think you’re really cool! And unique! And sincere! And entertaining! And weird, in the best way! And also..? Increasingly more and more eloquent in these! Plus still growing and learning! I think you’re going to go on to do GREAT things in life. And in fact, you are ALREADY doing great things, with this channel! Sorry you had such a rough day today. Love and hugs. From me, 35-year-old woman, also on the spectrum, (milder severity than you, though, I think), who used to have lots of meltdowns as a kid. But who rarely has them now. Hopefully it gets better for you, too, as you age.
@jeaniedelaney4711
@jeaniedelaney4711 Ай бұрын
You are helping so many people with your videos. Thank you! ❤
@kaylaports4449
@kaylaports4449 Ай бұрын
My meltdowns feel like a whole body headache and feels very tight. I can’t hear because my ears feel so plugged see because I’m crying and all I see is red. or breathe because I’m crying so deeply it hurts. These last for 5-6 hours and as you said the come down period is worse because your body is so exhausted and you can’t relax and you just want to sleep but you can’t. Toren you are not alone I’m 20 and have experienced 100’s of meltdowns. Just know there are others like you it’s not only you there of millions of autistic people this is the negative side of autism the positive side is our rapid recall of our special interest facts. Then once the meltdown is over I like to be in my room alone with my headphones on and rock or script and repeat songs from my childhood. I like to be under my weighted blanket and that really helps me.
@bumblebee5990
@bumblebee5990 Ай бұрын
I love your self care, it’s beautiful!
@banyantree
@banyantree 21 күн бұрын
The love of a mother for her child is the BEST MEDICINE. My mom has gone to Heaven but your mom reminds me of her (having cared, with joy in heart, for my sister with cerebral palsy) - thank you! Hug your mom AND I wish for you peace and serenity!
@heathertxuk
@heathertxuk Ай бұрын
My son has autism too, and as a mom I can understand how intense and draining meltdowns are. Thank you for sharing this moment with us, and for bringing awareness to so many people. You're an amazing young man. I wish you a better tomorrow. 😊🫶
@siljeto86
@siljeto86 Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing
@FFOGHORN
@FFOGHORN 22 күн бұрын
What a sweet guy. Thanks for a glimpse into your world.
@arighttoknow5839
@arighttoknow5839 Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for helping us understand better and to not interfere. My grandson has autism and I need your wisdom and courage to cope. 🙏🏼 Bless you, kind soul….
@Lucyyyjaneee
@Lucyyyjaneee Ай бұрын
I have autism, I love how you help people feel understood and supported
@Lazy_Fish_Keeper
@Lazy_Fish_Keeper Ай бұрын
You have the best mom, and I am so glad you are able to share your experiences as well as you do, so you both can help others. As an undiagnosed AuDHD parent, I did my best to help support my kids during their meltdowns.... unfortunately we didn't have nearly as many resources then, and I had to advocate in the courts, at schools, to family members.... It was exhausting, for my kids and for me. Videos like this are a fantastic resource for parents trying to explain why the ABA a judge orders is making things worse, not better. Or for explaining why school resource officers are escalating situations, and that giving kids the space they are asking for is the best de-escalation technique.
@GraiXS
@GraiXS Ай бұрын
It's really validating to hear that other people get these memory wipes from during a meltdown. I always hate that after such an emotional time, I just don't remember anything. Also such a sweet kitty ❤
@jraymond8238
@jraymond8238 19 күн бұрын
Praying for everyone in pain, mental or physical, to be healed. Hang in there, and don't stop believing in the power of prayer!!
@bettydamnboop3030
@bettydamnboop3030 24 күн бұрын
It’s exhausting and takes days to recover but you got this 🙏🏼🌹🙏🏼
@tomvoyles5101
@tomvoyles5101 16 күн бұрын
So glad you took this public, ppl need to know this. You are so brave for doing this. I wish you all the best.
@Fiawordweaver
@Fiawordweaver 22 күн бұрын
I thank this young man all the brave people sharing their stories on this channel. I send warm loving thoughts to all of you.
@Celestria91
@Celestria91 Ай бұрын
Hope you feel better soon and thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. It's really courageous and I hope that you can be proud of yourself. Also lots of love to your mom for her great compassion and all the care she's giving. Sorry if this sounds weird, I'm not a native speaker. But I wanted to share my thoughts for your very helpful, insightful videos and your courage to put yourself and your journey out there
@ralphlyda4545
@ralphlyda4545 18 күн бұрын
Celestria, I have worked as a language interpreter; I can’t think of anything in your paragraphs that a native speaker could have said any better! You have made a lovely comment, & a lovely contribution!
@taniarudolph4348
@taniarudolph4348 Ай бұрын
You explained that perfectly for my neurotypical brain buddy thankyou
@Daniiiiikay
@Daniiiiikay 25 күн бұрын
Yup I get this. When I have a meltdown I just want to be away from everyone. Usually crying alone with no one looking at me. Usually outside in the fresh air. The stupidest things set me off, and unfortunately can't really be made better, just have to ride the wave.
@vikkifox
@vikkifox Ай бұрын
You’re not alone . It’s ok
@elaineross9365
@elaineross9365 Ай бұрын
the thing that struck me most about this is.... what a wonderfully supportive Mom you are ❤
@rinkincaid5470
@rinkincaid5470 Ай бұрын
I'm 24 and I could never put this feeling into words; I still can't, but you described it perfectly. I still have my meltdowns but they're better now that I'm living alone ❤ Edit: I don't want Toren to feel like moving out is what he needs or anything, but it was for me. My parents were/still are my triggers for alot of things. Having my own space gives me a little sense of control
@karenorgan6203
@karenorgan6203 Ай бұрын
I had a meltdown in front of my step daughter, she was snapping the threads on a wool blanket I wove in college. No one gave me grace, and I was really good, I internalized, caused lots of harm to my internal self, but didn’t yell, or act out. My wife made me feel really guilty, and even though the girl apologized the next morning and I forgave them they never felt comfortable with me again, they had guilt I’m told. It makes me just want to isolate and not inflect my presence on anyone
@bumblebee5990
@bumblebee5990 Ай бұрын
You are not responsible for their, or anyone else’s feelings. You did the best you could and the world might not be good enough for you, but we very much want you here and present. These are just feelings, they are not you. I feel confident that time and continued connection can transform all things, relationships change and grow. We all have moments, they are not what defines us. For the record, I would not like to see my efforts harmed, but chances are it was just some stimming (also a human thing… plenty of variations). All this seems very human, your great, kind heart is what they love, like the meltdowns the memories fade for everyone when we are met with loving kindness.
@Renee-b2y
@Renee-b2y 19 күн бұрын
Your beautiful cat feels what you can't express so just wants to be with you and give you love❤❤❤ you are such a brave young man. Thank you for sharing this. I hope you are doing ok
@CourtneyS24
@CourtneyS24 Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing this, we are just at the start of our journey with my son ASD testing, already ADHD diagnosed. This helps so much!
@Visitor2Earth
@Visitor2Earth 13 күн бұрын
I have a 17yr old autistic Grandson who has meltdowns...it's hard and it's heartbreaking. I'm crying now for this young man.
@cecilia706
@cecilia706 Ай бұрын
Thank you so much ❤ My son is autistic and has meltdowns. Your advice is precious. It will help us a lot ❤
@meisapieceapie
@meisapieceapie Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing. It's very helpful in letting others know that they are not alone. You and your family are doing wonderful work!
@KatieM786
@KatieM786 Ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing this. I hope you feel better. I nearly had a meltdown in public the other day and it was scary so I get it ❤
@bumblebee5990
@bumblebee5990 Ай бұрын
One of the hardest things for a human being to do is to realize when their somatic stack is getting to big…. (a somatic stack is a build up of unresolved or unrecognized feelings, sensations or emotions). Everyone has this, and of course it’s different for all of us. When it gets to much, we all blow….. that is the out of nowhere sensation. It’s seems pretty normal that your experience would be taxing and I have complete empathy for how frustrating it would feel to have that disconnect. I love that you named breath as a tool. Intensional breathing is so incredibly healing, especially if you do an in through the nose and out the mouth. This scientifically proven pattern reduces stress and is calming to the body. I am going out on a limb here, but I feel like self compassion and maybe a song of breathing might be supportive. You did the very best you could, you made it through….. and more than that you shared your story. Your courage will help so many people know they are not alone. That is an act of personal power, one can not help but to admire.
@nesxya
@nesxya Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing. We can't help it when our wiring takes over. It can be beyond frustrating. I used to suppress a lot, eventually your nervous system burns out. I have shut downs. Looks like kitty knows just the right way to say, I'm here to make you feel better. 🐈 Sending you healing thoughts and comfort.
@stevec404
@stevec404 Күн бұрын
CPTSD, fear, depression and anxiety - all from a non physical childhood trauma ( a psychological one) set me up for a lifetime of negative mindset dictates, self sabotage, isolation and rejection. I did not remember that original trauma event until my mid fifties, having quashed memory, and emotions all those years. Then I understood my complicated dysfunctions...and the meltdowns started. The tsunami of repressed thoughts, the sorrow of a life lost, the uncertainties of having no sense of direction or purpose all came forth with a vengeance. My emotions couldn't be contained any longer...nor did I want them to be. Our minds try to 'protect' us from upsetting thoughts. I only started to heal once I looked them in the eye.
@care2crochet
@care2crochet Ай бұрын
Bless you, you're so courageous to share your inner world x
@amytaddei8170
@amytaddei8170 Ай бұрын
You are so brave and so strong. Thank you for sharing. I'm Neuro typical trying to learn all I can to understand a good friend I care about very much that is Neuro divergent. Your videos have made an enormous impact and have helped me so much. I just wanted you to know that you have made a difference in our lives and I am so grateful for you. The world is a better place because you are in it. ❤️
@ladyshugg1515
@ladyshugg1515 Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing yourself with us. I have a 7 and 9 year old who are AuADHD, it's very difficult when they are having a meltdown to know what to do. I've always seen smaller children with autism and I couldn't really figure out what our future could look like (I've kinda been stuck in survival mode), but you help me. Again thank you.
@annettegomez9067
@annettegomez9067 6 күн бұрын
I punch walls when I feel that rush of energy of a breakdown coming and my brain quickly forgets, too! I thought it was something wrong with me but your videos have helped me understand myself, sooo much more- thank you!!! You're not alone, and neither am I. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 🙏💜💜💜
@anniejayy9559
@anniejayy9559 Ай бұрын
Awww, I’m so sorry, Toren 😢
@richardstlouis9944
@richardstlouis9944 Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. Very courageous and good advice. Blessings to you.
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