9 Signs You are Probably NOT Autistic...

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💛WATCH NEXT💛:
The 4 Types of Autistic Masking: • The 4 Types of Autisti...
Taking the CAT-Q Masking Test: • How to Know if you're ...
Taking the CAT-Q Masking Test with my Non-Autistic Husband: • Does EVERYONE Mask? | ...
The Most Autistic Phone Call I Have EVER Seen | Autistic Reels: • The Most Autistic Phon...
📸 Instagram 📸 : / imautisticnowwhat
📹 My Videos mentioned 📹:
The 4 Types of Autistic Masking: • The 4 Types of Autisti...
The Best Theory of Autism you've probably NEVER heard of...: • The Best Theory of Aut...
If you think this is Infantilising Autism, you're WRONG.: • If you think this is I...
00:00 You're just an introvert, tho??
01:50 Autistic people can't have friends?
05:52 Are you a robot?
08:19 This is not fun.
10:57 If people said this to you, you might be autistic
12:18 Autistic traits are just human traits.
16:30 Does this give you rage?
19:33 Neurotypical people are boring?
23:30 I don't want to admit this about myself...
26:30 Do you get stuck?
29:45 What if you're hiding autistic traits?
📒 Sources 📒:
Autism & Genetics: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-....
Neurotypical Peers are Less Willing to Interact with Those with Autism based on Thin Slice Judgments: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
Uncanny valley: www.simplypsychology.org/unca...
Robots clip: • Uncanny Valley Robots ...
Britons show huge lack of knowledge on Autism: www.carehome.co.uk/news/artic...
Dr Hannah Belcher Blog: hannahbelcher.com/blog/
Dr Hannah Belcher Autistic People & Masking: www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-...
DSM-5: www.tricare-west.com/content/...
It feels like holding back: www.sciencedirect.com/science...
Potato: www.amazon.co.uk/Untold-Histo...
Inside our autistic minds: www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=h...
Shy, withdrawn, or autistic BMJ: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1995127/
📖 *Books I'd Recommend about Autism 📖 :
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone:
amzn.to/3xSZ6Mg
Different not Less by Chloe Hayden (read if you want to cry):
amzn.to/40fKx2m
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price:
amzn.to/3LhMV3j
*These are affiliate links. The channel will receive a small commission if you buy anything on Amazon after clicking through with this link. There's no extra cost to you; any money will go towards putting out more content. I'd love to post twice a week and put more time into research for these videos. Thank you so much - I really appreciate every like and comment!
DISCLAIMER: I am a second-year psychology student and a late-diagnosed #actuallyautistic individual. I am not a qualified healthcare professional.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

To find a sense of peace and improve your sleep, get started with Aura today for free. The first 500 people to use my link will also get 25% off + FREE trial to the Aura membership: www.aurahealth.io/imautisticnowwhat02 Hope you’ve all had a lovely week! Since filming this, I’ve lost my voice, which is sooo annoying - I have so many scripts and ideas I’m excited about that are almost ready to go!!! I need someone to make an AI voice for me 😂 Not really, because that’s scary! If you think you're autistic and don't know what to do next, this might help!: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYKUYWWtr9aUjrs If you think you might be masking the fact that you're autistic, you might find this video helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aWeQfGB-jJimr8U Thank you so much - I never imagined having such a warm, caring community behind me. The reaction to my little stimming clips in the last video was so kind. I didn’t even stress about posting it that much in the end 😂💛💛💛 And apologies that some of the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria language is not always the most flattering. ‘Restricted and repetitive behaviours’ always makes me cringe a bit. But that’s just what it is right now. I wonder how it will continue to evolve? Also, I say 'autism is genetic' at the start of the video. What I meant by this is 'being autistic does run in my family'. There's a lot we don't know about why people are autistic, but we definitely know there are genetic factors.

[@RobGuster]

Dear I am #austisticnowwhat please let your voice rest . Heavenly Father, I ask you to help one of your children with her voice. I ask you in Jesus' mighty name .

[@KhaoticDeterminism]

if ppl identify with the disorder who are transgender on the gender binary it’s kinda logical we’ve noticed a sea of unaware trans 🏳️‍⚧️ men who believe they’re autistic they *REALLY* don’t like us when they’re white cheers #2Spirit #indigenous #autism #audhd

[@CharlotteCrummMarketing]

Atheist here but I too wish your voice gets better. I don’t recommend Jesus but echinacea is helpful. Have a great week!

[@Nexus-11]

I had three sessions with a therapist who thought I was autistic, and this video makes me think I definitely am. IDK.

[@Chuckybabydoll]

I stayed up for 23 days straight I have the Dracula flag

[@AnnabethsEdits]

Claim your "imposter syndrome made me watch this" ticket here 😂

[@TheLottaLewis]

Love this comment 😂❤

[@THEMINDCASTLE]

Papa bless I claimed the 69th ticket

[@orxnge-juice]

Omg fr 😭😭😭@@THEMINDCASTLE

[@orxnge-juice]

Sorry meant to tag @AnnabethEdits

[@Scene_Kiddo]

Claimed😭

[@sophiethee]

I'm so autistic I didn't realize I was bullied in high school until years later

[@alexreid1173]

Same I thought they were trying to help lol

[@alst4817]

😂 Truly, you won against the bullies!

[@l1lium]

haha lmaoo same :D I also thought everyone were my friends but actually most of them disliked me. Fun times. But I think "being stupid enough" was a blessing. I didn't have to deal with the stuff that bullying would probably have caused

[@dairaperez1516]

Me with middle school 😂 or many Times people tried to fight me and I had no idea until later

[@tabithadrew9875]

Ohh I feel this too hard. I knew I was bullied by the really obvious violent kids who'd hit me. But it's years later I'm realising the subtle (to me, otherwise I'd have noticed it) ways in which I was bullied by others. I didn't have friends in school, I had bullies that followed me around. My young self thought that was my friend group. Growing up and realising stuff can be depressing. I just wish it hadn't taken me till my 40's to realise this stuff.

[@dayman42]

The voice thing really gets me because people use it as an excuse to invalidate your experiences like, "you don't sound poor" or "you don't sound like you're from there" as if i'm going to stop and say "oh yeah you're right I'm totally wrong about who I am and where I come from"

[@monkey6207]

I mean, autism is trending and so was tr@nsgender, the biggest scam of the century. People are questioning things instead of taking them a face value and that's good.

[@SirAnimosity]

I remember in primary school when the teacher asked us to stand up and pick a partner. Id always stay seated and waited for someone to come to me. It was sad looking back.

[@phoenixking5843]

I still did that up till the end of secondary school haha

[@tari4277]

im still like that but the thing is: im in college

[@robinauseer499]

hey, same! i just waited for the person still wandering around who didnt have a partner to see me.

[@klltsun_2576]

Same, and if everyone seems to already have partners I shamefully went to the teacher and they're the ones to tell the class, and I stand there embarrassed and awkward. The first time I tentatively went around to ask people if they have a partner it was in college 😅

[@heuzame6198]

I just waited 'til someone came to me so I was always picked last or had to do it with a teacher.

[@WoodsteadCreative]

"Oh you crochet?" Yeah, I just really love repeating the same movement 40,000 times. It's very soothing...

[@Hamsterliciousness]

I feel called out....

[@Abcdefghijkj]

Literally me but with knitting and also if you know what diamond dotz are 🤌

[@WoodsteadCreative]

@@Abcdefghijkj oooh I love me some dotz

[@melifever]

that would be most of our grandmothers and great-grandmothers

[@anachronismboy]

i was LITERALLY crocheting stars watching this video 😭

[@katcalico9142]

“Being bullied is not a trait.” When I was young it certainly felt like one. 😂😂😂😂

[@ASLsoFine]

Word.

[@airena1449]

Lmao real. It's like every place I went and kinda tried to get along with others I'd get greeted with the usual "Why are you here? Who called you? Why are you weird? Why are you near us?" And it would be a normal situation to try and connect with classmates or whatever, they simply despised being near me lol

[@katelynraile5859]

so true! and you didn't even have to act weird 24/7 either. just do one thing and then that becomes the reason you are bullied for years.

[@xmissyangelzx]

@@airena1449 Even in adulthood you can have this and I've certainly had this :S. Especially if its a largely female environment full of peers my age. University and retail/hospitality jobs were a nightmare. You stand out more. Fortunately, I'm in a more male-dominated environment, full of different ages now, as I'm an engineer (many neurodivergent people work this job) but also unfortunate because of misogyny. Tbh I'd rather take the misogyny, even though that makes me mad too lol. There's no winning😭

[@Ark-ys2up]

​@@xmissyangelzxtbh with women bullies its misogyny too because nd women dont conform enough to the script

[@abecline]

I watched this video two weeks ago expecting to learn something about autistic people, but instead I got 9 punches to the gut that made me realize I am obviously autistic. I'm 40 years old and never even considered I might be neurodivergent. It's incredibly validating to suddenly have moments from my life and all my "awkward" behavior make sense, but also kind of a mindf*** to have everything about my self make sense. I find myself having childhood flashbacks at least once a day (plus some oof cringe memories as an adult). I struggled with posting a comment, but I wanted to say thank you for making content that communicates so clearly. I can't speak for anyone else, but you have changed my life.

[@Melancholy-hill]

This is beautiful! I can relate to this a lot. I never thought I was autistic until I met my current boyfriend two years ago, who is diagnosed. Most of the things he described about it were things I related to quite heavily. The more research I do, the more my behaviors and habits are explained. It's like a whole different light being put onto my life, and it's inspiring to see people having these moments for themselves ❤

[@josephinewagner9106]

I can't tell whether I'm autistic, I have ADHD or social anxiety, but I'm too socially anxious to go get therapy and a diagnosis, so I'll just keep spending every night forming imaginary conversations about my deepest emotions and inner thoughts and then end up on KZbin trying to stop myself from overthinking and then end up so distracted that I wake up sleep deprived after 3 hours once again.

[@emmelinesprig489]

😭 oh my god i relate too hard. after realizing my difficulties weren’t typical, it took me 5 years to get the courage to make a therapy appointment. i used the website Mental Health Match, and almost a year later, i’m still with the first therapist i met. i’ve been diagnosed with a few mental illnesses, but i’m too scared to get assessed for ADHD and Autism, because i’m really afraid of diagnosis(es) being used against me. so i’m still watching tons of youtube about CPTSD, ADHD, and Autism to figure out how to accommodate myself without a diagnosis.

[@emmelinesprig489]

one thing that has helped me SO much has been journalling (in a locked note on my phone, so it will never be seen by others). i get super tangled in my thoughts, so writing it down, or expressing it through a creative hobby, has kept me stable when i had no one to talk to about my struggles. (and still, because i only have therapy once a week and i have no friends). i’m really interested in somatic therapies lately because i also notice that movement like walking, dancing alone, swimming, yoga, all help me regulate and process life better. (i can’t run or do other high intensity movement, it’s too overstimulating for me)

[@emmelinesprig489]

sorry for spamming, i just want to clarify i’m not trying to give you unsolicited advice. i’m just relating so hard with your comment and i wanted to share how i’m learning to accommodate myself without a formal diagnosis. it’s tough to feel like i’m “in-between” and experiencing parts of several non-typical, stigmatized conditions. it feels so invisible and isolating, and i’m so excited when i hear someone’s experience where i can relate so much

[@Name..........]

​@@emmelinesprig489 you dont have to tell anyone about the diagnosis

[@dannybarrett1742]

@@emmelinesprig489you're over-thinking it (getting diagnosed, explaining things here, and thinking you're spamming). Relax (as hard as that may be). It's all ok. 😁

[@UmbralForest]

Its absurd to me that people think autistics can't have ANY friends, like other neurodivergent people don't exist at moderate saturation. I just look for people who share my weird little vibe and i always consistently had 1 friend at any one time growing up, the OTHER weird kid in the room. I've tried and failed to have neurotypical friends so many times but it usually ends with my bluntness or black-sheepness making them upset with me. I'd rather just stick to my fellow weirdos.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

There are so many frustrating stereotypes that need to go!!

[@properantagonist]

Finally, after years in isolation, I now have a group of like 7(!) friends in uni. Guess what, they're all either autistic, ADHD or both and all queer. Neurotypicals just don't stick. And well, now that we have this ND secret society organised, we can have sensory friendly parties and nobody feels left out. It's truly amazing

[@Indigoisaspookyghost]

Yes! I love socializing but ONLY with my group of like, two friends. Everyone else I’ll almost always choose to stay home lol.

[@dinosaysrawr]

It's especially weird and irrational when you consider the fact that most people can visualize "that group" of weird, nerdy losers who play D&D and watch anime or collect rocks together, and everyone else avoids them because they're so weeeeeeird. Are those kids neurotypical, Karen? Hmmm? Hmmm?

[@aikoaikoaikoaikoaikoaiko]

yeah, during group projects us autistic kids group together cuz were outcasts lol

[@chrisbarber2436]

I was recently finally able to get an autism assessment and the doctor said something along the lines of "you're autistic but you cope too well to be diagnosed with a 'real disorder'" which was... weird. I'm still trying to figure out if that was validating or invalidating, but it definitely feels like being trapped in a no-man's land where I just don't get to belong anywhere.

[@Roro-vl3ny]

I'm pretty sure something is considered a "disorder" if it causes you distress and requires treatment. Definitely doesn't mean you don't belong to a group!

[@hannahlevy6074]

Taking what the doctor said literally, I am getting the meaning, "autism doesn't count as a real disorder." Which isn't true. Just the fact that you COPE means there's something real going on. The doctor started with "you have autism." If he stopped there he would have avoided putting his figurative foot in his mouth.

[@alyssafallaw8919]

I understand this person entirely they literally write in my medical chart “clinically abnormal” but said I couldn’t be diagnosed with anything and I don’t know what to think about myself because of this and it’s actually been really distressing for me

[@luxlatte4950]

I think it just means your more high functioning which is completely normal, I wouldn’t worry about it one bit as long as your being yourself, because it’s ok to be yourself. I think there’s always a time in our lives where we don’t really fit into a specific group.

[@johnobrien8773]

Formerly it might have been called Asperger's. I really don't know but it tends to be associated with more successful coping strategies. Autism has historically gone undiagnosed in women because they get around all the communication issues because even an autistic woman can communicate better than a neuro-typical man.

[@rosebudxd23]

i just spent the entire length of the video writing a comment about how i think i might be autistic and then the video ended so now i’ve lost all of it and also i’m starting to understand what people mean by saying i overexplain things in too much detail (which i still find kinda weird like i’m just making it easier for you to understand because sometimes i get told to explain more so if i always explain the entire thing i won’t need to further my point?) anyways great video thank you :))

[@hueyandmo]

I get frustrated by the next video autoplaying too, and often rush to press pause at the end so I can keep reading comments. I think one thing to note about overexplaining is how you said "sometimes" people ask you follow up questions. That means that sometimes they don't. So you don't know at the beginning if people will want to hear greater detail or not, therefore the best solution is to wait until they ask before explaining more. Otherwise you end up explaining extra stuff unnecessarily to a person who either already knew this information or does not want to know.

[@munebeebus]

I have this issue too. If I tell people something simply I always get follow up questions, so I just explain as much as I can and then (especially with doctors) I am paraphrased or straight up they relay the opposite of what I said. I’ve seen my situation or words twisted so drastically before because I decided to answer a question or elaborate on something further. Im so tired of it.

[@dannybarrett1742]

@@munebeebusthe doctors are probably thinking about the next set of golf clubs they're going to buy instead of listening to their patient (a lot of people aren't very conscientious). I've also found it common for people to hear and even say the polar opposite of what they should've heard/what they meant to say. Sometimes it's just a brain-fart or a lapse in concentration, but for some people it's a comprehension issue. On the other hand, most people are terrible at following complex statements with subordinate clauses (especially verbally), so it helps to keep sentences short and simple. Once I was explaining the meaning of a piece of text to someone because she had taken it to mean the exact opposite of what it actually meant. It had a long subordinate clause that added more meaning, but wasn't needed to get the basic meaning, so I told her to skip the subordinate clause to get the basic meaning, then go back to the subordinate clause to fill in the details. She got stroppy at me and launched into a tirade about me thinking far too much of myself (not actually true) instead of looking and seeing that it really did actually mean the exact opposite of what she had believed. Her example is one where the person wants to believe something that isn't true, and no amount of logic and evidence will ever change their mind. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do for such a person to get them to understand. I hope this helps, at least somewhat.

[@needisaymoore2138]

Dancing is stimming. I am glad you said that I think I was always able to mask that because I am a talented dancer. I used to go to raves and dance for hours by myself until I was in a trance. Those were great years.

[@nayeontofu]

I'm not a dancer, but I always pop in the ear phones and dance around the house. When I was younger I'd be more embarrassed so I'd just be in the bathroom for an hour or two dancing and listening to music and my mom would be like "what do you do in there for so long????". One day I just finally told her and felt embarrassed 😂 funny thing is I don't think she believed me since I was a teenager at the time

[@romicor9]

I used to sing, until one day I did it to cope with a difficult moment and my mother got really upset "you can't sing in the house when someone in the family died just days ago, you have to show grief". Everytime I tried to stim sing at home, I was told to shut up and not bother other people. Took me years to become a singer and feel comfortable with it even when people say I'm talented.

[@connaeris8230]

Absolutely! I know of an Italian autism speaker who is a great dancer and often posts dance videos. She even has a separate page for her dancing!

[@joenuts5167]

This!!! I didn’t go out until I discovered raves where I could dance and not be shunned for being “weird”. It’s great

[@TheSilverShadow17]

As an autistic individual who does quite a lot of stimming, I feel absolutely no shame at all from it. It's part of who I am lol

[@kated3165]

Pretty sure I had an autistic rat once. Poor fellow had no idea how to behave with others, and had many quirks that were very different from any other rat I've ever seen. One minute he would be snuggly sleeping with the others... and the next he would be biting them out of nowhere, probably because he suddenly wanted to be alone. He didn't understand that biting was a HUGE no-no in rat society, and after a while the other rats would just avoid the poor bugger entirely. He did not socialize with me the way pet rats typically do with their owner either, and was very peculiar about certain things in his environment that other rats don't typically have issues with.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Animals have such wildly different personalities - I find it so weird that people often act like they're all the same!

[@olydraws]

I also had a couple of rats who might have been on the spectrum. They got along with me and maybe one other rat in the pack but they weren’t as interested in socialising and misread cues from other rats. I heard it’s a thing with dogs too - most dog behaviour specialists don’t accept it because there is no formal way to diagnose autism in a dog but at the end of the day it’s a matter of how to call a pattern of behaviours and perceptions of environment.

[@bryonyvaughn2427]

I have a side gig housesitting for people with pets. I was meeting with one couple with their beloved cat. The husband said he thought the cat was autistic and I immediately masked shut down all my internal responses because I'm so used to hearing people saying "That's autistic" or "He's so autistic" as an insult. Turns out, after taking care of the cat for a week, I totally get it! The cat LOVES deep joint compression to a degree that would be considered abusive to most any other animal. While he craved human touch for that deep joint compression (and preferred to experience near a wall so he could brace himself and push even harder into the person pushing on him), he did not want to be on a lap or held. He loved to play but only in particular ways. Unlike other cats, he didn't have his select people he was comfortable around but would treat each person with the same amount of comfort and ease. He wouldn't walk right up to strangers in the house asking for attention but would walk through the room out of curiosity while making zero bids for their attention. Now I hope his people go on vacation because I'd like to spend more time with Darby. Darby rocks!

[@anjachan]

Im not sure if it´s possible for at least some animals ... maybe for the very smart ones?

[@callmebabyy143]

I thought you were a school teacher for a sec 😭

[@RadioactiveBluePlatypus]

I saw the timestamps and I genuinely thought that someone's "aura" could mean they're not autistic like "yeah no you don't have the autism ghost aura following you, I don't think you're autistic"

[@scobeymeister1]

Lol That's funny you should say that though. I got the Hyperempathy make of autism and I do wonder if a lot of folklore around psychic powers may be autism-related. I don't literally see auras, but I'm fantastic at "reading the vibes" of a person, ie noticing subtle behavioral differences that point to being an abuser or whatever. In a different cultural background I might've been labelled Psychically Sensitive. So that might be an actual thing lmao

[@Avendesora]

@@scobeymeister1 I've had coworkers in the past who could not be convince I'm not an empath in the magical mystical sense. It's super funny to me because in general I actually suck at body language, these people were just super dramatic about everything and I'm good at being a pleasant but neutral person at work.

[@SoulSlugArts]

Damn bro guess the doctors were wrong, where's my ghost aura huh

[@arc4705]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who was waiting for an explanation of what The Autistic Aura was

[@Valentine011]

Autistic people all have jojo stands that only other autistic folks can see

[@sock2654]

Not sure if anyone else can relate to this but if anyone does I’d love to know! So in regards to the bullying topic, I have very few memories of myself from the ages of 4-9 (I’m 23), in those few memories I remember being a well liked girl with lots of friends. I brought up these memories to my family one day just reminiscing about childhood until they told me that I was the complete opposite… I was constantly getting bullied at school and would be pushed, have rocks and dirt thrown at me, my hair pulled, etc when I was a kid by my classmates or anyone that I wanted to be friends with. Shocked me to the core because when they told me about it those new memories came flooding in. It was really upsetting to say the least especially how my brain just blocked it out!! So I was actually a loner my entire childhood and fabricated these so called memories of me having friends 😭 I was a loner as well in my teen years so idk why I was truly shocked….

[@elentari15]

That sounds like you dissociated from age 4-9 because your brain couldn't handle the stress and pain from bullying and formed fake memories. I experienced something similar, for me it was roughly a 2 year time period. I hope you don't have PTSD from that bullying, and if you do, please get help! I went to therapy and it helped me a lot, I wouldn't be were I am now without it.

[@Unfocusedzen]

I definitely knew when I was being blatantly bullied, but I had no idea when I was being passively bullied. Also being called retarded, my whole life has built up a literal desensitization to being called names so I think that carried into my middle school in high school years and I never noticed when I was being bullied because I thought they were just joking around with me

[@TheMookie1590]

I was bullied pretty bad too. I guess they knew I had ass borgors But I remember everything, maybe because one day I fought back, because I couldnt take anymore. guy started punching me, and I laid him out, then he cried out, my chronic head aches and I stopped my assault right then and there. But this weird thing happened. Because I was strong and could fight. Dad made me chop wood, and aprenticed building houses with him. So I had some muscle. After my first fight, for some reason I can not explain, more people wanted to fight me. Just out of the blue, people I thought that liked me, started picking fights. I won my second, third, fourth, fifth fights. Keep in mind, 8th grade. It got so stupid I found out another kid was talking others into fighting me. Because I was undefeated. again, 8th grade. America. The next kid came to fight me, looked nervous too. And by this point, I caught on that there was a fight manger manipulating others to fight me, AND I STILL DONT KNOW WHY. Anyway, kid came in, I didnt even know about it, like the others. Said he wanted to fight me. But this was one of the only moments I was able to cleanly read someone body language. which I wish I could always do. I just walked up, held my hand out. And was like friend, we dont need to fight, I can tell you are scared to, I dont want to, this isnt fun for us. He nervously shook my hand. I didnt let go for a few seconds. And just said we should love each other, not fight. He smiled, that was that. Did that lower my frequency of random fights??? lmao no. that happened when the 8th grade fight manager ran in when I was peeing, and sucker punched me and ran off. Then said he beat me. Like bruh. I didnt go to highschool because of this because I didnt want to get to a point of pew pew. But to this day, I have never lost a fight. getting sucker punched is not losing a fight. And I do not think its good ive never lost. I think its important to exp failure in everything. Looking back, its so bizzare all the fights I got in I didnt sign up for. My friend who is also an aspie brought it up last week and we were laughing over it, like 15 years ago this happened. He was always there most times becasue he got jumped and figured I would be next and no one else ahd my back.

[@romicor9]

Happens more than you think. I have supressed most of my childhood from my memory (not consciously, of course) but my family seem to remember a lot. Also they say "Mary was mean", "Peter was horrible to you" when I always thought they were kids who just didn't like me and behave bad sometimes, like most kids I knew. Maybe most kids were bullies, I don't know.

[@amariahtaylorakamarsie4091]

I found someone talking about their autism in 2020 which made me think that I was as well. I relate to this video so deeply. Since I am undiagnosed, I often find that I gaslight myself into thinking that I am making it up. But the more I come across other Autistic peoples experiences I realize that I am more than likely Autistic too. My childhood makes so much sense to me now. The little things that annoyed my mom so much were autistic traits I was showing. I have been masking around people for so long since then. Thank you so much for this.

[@connaeris8230]

This is exactly me, down to things annoying my mom (and my father who might be autistic too annoying her in the same way). I take tests online hoping they'll say I have no sign of autism but that doesn't happen. I have a psychologist but I don't want to talk about this with her because she already told me I don't have it in her opinion. And I don't know any diagnosed high functioning autistic people since where I live basically nobody gets a diagnosis. I hoped this video would rule it out, but rather it just adds more things to think about... I hope I'll get some clarity in the future because I feel like I'm going mad

[@Hawthorn6852]

I used to consider myself a chill and easy-going person because I thought those things meant you were accepting, non-judgemental, not easily annoyed or angered, or easy to get along with and I was like "yeah I relate to that" until I found out that being "chill" means you're all those things on the inside as well 😅

[@mchlle94]

THIS

[@kjoberk]

Lmao oh those things are supposed to be also on the inside 😅😅

[@joshnguyen7164]

Same! I don't think this video accounts for repression/suppression of deep emotions. If our environment growing up calls for an easy going personality due to survival or due to the need to attach to our caregivers then I have a belief we'll forfeit autistic tendencies in favor of whatever survival calls for. Which could just be an extension of CPTSD mixed with autism

[@PoeticExistance]

😂😅😅

[@robixknof]

Same and I always thought "not caring" was just going along with things externally, but even though I didn't always exactly have something specific I wanted to do, I was always annoyed so much any time someone tried to get me to do something or even just interact with me at all.

[@meganmeunier8698]

On the manual thing... As a kid I did well academically but struggled socially and also with physical coordination. I remember, clear as day, standing in the school playground and watching children chat with each other effortlessly and thinking "it's okay, I'm ahead in maths, so I suppose I'm just behind here. Someone will teach me this one day too." When I got diagnosed at 23 all I could think about was tiny me, not sad, not angry, not feeling confused, absolutely certain that someone would soon notice that they had forgotten to teach me the manual and the fact that no one did.

[@undeniablySomeGuy]

felt in my soul

[@bluecannibaleyes]

They tried to teach me but I just could never learn it and never really had an interest in learning it. I thought friends were lame as a kid and (still) didn’t understand why I ‘needed’ them. Why would I want to play with the other kids? They always just seemed very stupid to me. Collecting trash on the playground at recess was way more fun to me than interacting with others, so that’s what I did. One year they forced us all to play kickball together at recess instead of doing what we wanted and I absolutely HATED it. I’m not officially diagnosed though, so I might just be an antisocial psychopath. LOL

[@sharonamberbennett4725]

The closest thing to a manual I’ve found is Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence people”. It was life changing.

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

​@@sharonamberbennett4725 Anything based on deception feels wrong to me - especially relationships. I read Carnegie's book 30 years ago, and found it useless. For me anyway. It's all about sucking up to other people by making yourself small and non-threatening. Classic fawning. Feign interest in their interests. Don't talk about yourself or your interests. Never point out mistakes in reasoning or beliefs. Don't argue. Smile. etc, etc, etc. The tactics described in the book are generally manipulative and disingenuous. Seems most people are OK with being fake, manipulative and superficial to "win friends and influence people" Autistic people not so much. It's a masking manual for neurotypicals seeking to exploit other people as salesmen in my opinion. Yuck. Even the "win friends" thing frames friendships as a competition with others for the prize of companionship. The way I see it, you either like someone and they like you and you become friends, or not. Faking and hiding your true intentions doesn't create friends. It creates the illusion of friendship. It's based on the desire for social power, control, and dominance rather than human connection. Fun fact, Dale Carnegie lied about most of his supposed connections and qualifications listed in the book. He was a con-man and a grifter - one of the most successful ever. So if that's your jam then yeah, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" might be just the ticket, lol Google

[@danr.5017]

@ThewilliamHoganExperience Well said

[@bropoke6799]

im not diagnosed but every single clinically approved test i take online says it's extremely likely I am autistic. I love learning new things. Even if I didn't have a specific thing I was interested in at times, I would watch entire college lectures about different topics and run to my mom to tell her all the fun facts I thought were fascinating. I had a period where all I watched was ants canada for over a year

[@NovaDoesArtyStuff]

When I told one of my French teachers that I was autistic, she said “ Oh, you don’t look autistic, I didn’t know.” I was confused, how was I meant to look 😂She also stated that I didn’t “act” like other autistic people she knew, she said that they acted “strange” or “differently”, which I did, but I was good at masking my autism. Great channel, you have really helped me to understand myself more as a person. Thank you!

[@m4tta]

i was diagnosed with autism at 14 but i think now that i was actually misdiagnosed and they mistook my OCD for autism. after getting treatment for my OCD (and depression) i don’t have a single autistic trait left, i don’t recognize myself at all in the criteria, and watching this video made me seek a new evaluation!

[@calvinjenkins6900]

I wish you the best 😊

[@llynxfyremusic]

Good luck on your journey to your truth

[@got2kittys]

Unique. After being misdiagnosed with mental illness, all thats left is my Aspergers traits. I guess I can relate.

[@samanthasunshine8085]

I'm starting to get this feeling too!! Very interesting..starting therapy tomorrow actually after 10 years of hell.

[@AngelineProductions]

I have OCD too - OCD and autism have a surprising amount of overlapping traits! (But of course they’re also very different.)

[@meganknight9071]

As an ADHD’er I get super irritated when I’m interrupted but not because I can’t get my mind off of whatever I was doing, but because I know once I change gears there is no going back to the level of focus and “get this done” when i turn to something else. It’s like that task just disappears into the aether

[@stevenpace892]

Empathy in autism spectrum is often different. Often we are very good at one type of empathy but very bad at others. For example facial cues vs other ways sensing feelings.

[@eboronkay]

I do relate! Once something is behind my back it ‘ceases to exist’ until I come around to it being in my face again. I have to make notes in my phone calendar to make sure important things get finished. I also call it hamster wheeling, spending lots of energy but not getting anything really accomplished. But I survive my life and manage to pay my bills and not let my house get too dirty or disordered.

[@no_peace]

​@@stevenpace892the other half of that is that allistic people have the exact same problem. They don't relate to us so they can't imagine what makes us happy or upset. It's not a deficit in us, it's that our "cultures" are very different (double empathy problem). A very similar thing happens with people from two different countries, it's a culture clash not an inherent shortcoming or medical issue Also we are often isolated. We have less exposure to cultural norms in a lot of ways. Whether we want to or not. So like i didn't go to church as a kid, no one puts me on email chains, i don't/didn't know what communities do when someone is diagnosed with cancer or loses a loved one. It's something that's actually taught to people. They orchestrate meals and childcare and all that. They arrange rides to chemo. They don't have to use their imagination to figure that out, they rely on what they've seen and helped with 50 times in their community. Like even someone with no empathy can know what to do, even if they don't care at all. But I look horrible because I didn't grow up learning that and I'm not included, so it's not a part of my gut reaction to take care of it

[@chinmeysway]

why does this correlate w adhd? def rude and annoying feeling to be interrupted ! sorry i just like to question all the psychiatric terms and thinking. maybe it’s more about the systems enact environmentally and their effects on us rather than innate neurology.

[@Jackattk14]

​@@chinmeysway mostly cause ppl with ADHD suffer with starting or stopping things. ADHDers tend to procrastinate a lot. once they get hyperfocused on something,, it's all or nothing. and if that hyperfocus is pulled away from them,, it would lead to general frustration. bc once that focus is gone,, they'll most likely have no interest in the thing they did previously or will get distracted with something else. so it's usually best if they're not interrupted

[@EVLanche]

That video ironically taught and explained more about me than I expected. Thanks for making me feel less isolated!

[@Kloxbyn]

1. Introverted (textbook). ✔ 2. Very few friends. ✔ 3. Somewhat monotone, not very expressive. ✔ 4. Most of the time, I enjoy being alone and I do not enjoy socializing. ✔ 5. Speak oddly. ✔ 6. I stim a lot, in several ways (especially in social situations). ✔ 7. Yes, noises (even subtle ones), can really throw me off (sometimes to the point of rage). ✔ 8. I'm an artist and when I create art, I absolutely need to be alone and focus. And when people interrupt that, it tends to ruin my whole day. ✔ 9. I'm somewhat laid back but only in certain situations. However, I doubt this one is true of me. ❌ This seriously makes me wonder (now) if I'm on the spectrum.

[@Cybolic]

That comment at around 4:20 about making friends cross-culturally has been my secret trick for quite a while now! I'm from Scandinavia but have relocated to Greece, partly due to precisely this; whenever I'm socially awkward or come across a bit emotionally mute, it's always just attributed to a difference in culture or "Those Scandinavians are a bit cold, it's normal". It's a fantastic buffer to have, even if it feels a bit like a cheat.

[@NeriumBlack]

I'm from Finland and I know exactly what you mean.

[@animeholiczka]

i feel like i played myself with this one, because this has literally been 90% of my friendships or relationships over the course of my life (mostly age or nationality and culture differences) and i did not even realise this though definitely always found it also way easier to "break the ice" when you could talk about our backgrounds etc while i didnt know how to approach peers around me.

[@ZhovtoBlakytniy]

Same, and I married a guy from a different culture and country. He turned out to be autistic too. It was destiny 😂

[@shoesinmysoup]

I do this too! it's so interesting it's supposedly a common thing. i feel less rejection..oddly enough.

[@diakritika]

I realized I used the same trick. All of my girlfriends came from other countries/cultures…

[@isabellebravo8602]

There are a lot of symptoms of OCD that are very similar to autism, as well as symptoms of severe ADHD, that are similar to autism. So I can definitely understand why someone might get confused

[@laurenceo-d4551]

You're so right! I got my ADHD diagnosis in my mid twenties and I recognize myself with PDA, APD (auditory processive disorder), hypersensitive (to certain senses like smell, hearing, touch mostly)... Even my kindergarden teacher wrote I had hard time with transitions between activities on my report card and I recognize myself with certain traits of ASD. But I used to really enjoyed being surrounded with friends as a kid and I finally realized older that all the good fiends I kept seeing until now are all neurodivergents and understanding... Nonetheless, I find it hard to understand what it means when symptoms overlap. I mean, I think I was masking (or trying to mask) my neurodivergence/difference to feel accepted, but I'm still not sure how to know if it's the result of masking a possible autism or masking other neurodivergent traits that I found out that were misjudged by neurotypicals... 🤷‍♀️ I feel it's kinda hard to confirm a solid yes or no regarding being on the spectrum or not. Is it just me?

[@dovahkiira172]

My psychologist mentioned during my assessment for adhd that compulsive behaviours are part of both adhd and autism and it’s also very common for people to have OCD as a comorbid diagnosis with either adhd or autism and of course both. And historically afab are more likely to be diagnosed OCD rather than adhd or autism.

[@punkbjork]

my psych believes they're all the same condition, that the overlap is so great to the point that the venn diagram is a circle

[@eenix0]

I'm still confused. I'm diagnosed ADHD and wanted to watch this video to prove to myself I'm not autistic...and now I'm even less certain than before. Ugh I have no idea. I know it doesn't REALLY matter, the meds are similar anyway, and nothing is stopping me from googling coping mechanisms for autism and using the ones that I find helpful, whether or not I'm actually autistic...but frick, I wanna know.

[@eenix0]

@@punkbjork It honestly does help me to see them as tools for language and communication rather than definitive individual diagnoses. Like, I have no idea if I'm autistic, but researching autism has REALLY helped me find keywords and phrases to describe and articulate the things I experience. I know the labels CAN be a huge thing, especially if you need disability benefits and/or medication (my ADHD diagnosis and subsequent prescriptions were a game changer for sure), but the biggest power I've found is just from developing better language to communicate our internal worlds. I don't actually know anything though, I'm definitely not a psych, so I could be super wrong.

[@lycanthropicmercury]

the “having a hard time leaving places quickly” thing hit so close to home, omg 😭😭 i’ve been suspecting i’m neurodivergent or on the spectrum for a long time (currently seeking diagnosis), and i would ALWAYS get yelled at for taking a long time getting out of the car/class/airplane whatever.

[@destroreal]

I never realized how many autistic traits I might have. It could very much just be ADHD, too, but it feels weird thinking back and seeing how isolated I felt cause of it. This video was amazing!!

[@marianamonteiro8840]

“I’ve noticed… Mariana never answers a question with simple _yes_ or _no_ . She always finds another way.” -Co-worker of mine 10 or 11 years ago, as the team had a coffee together. I didn’t know I was autistic, but I’ve always had “peculiar” weird things to me.

[@pascuala.]

Hold on, i do that all the time!

[@Sam..123]

"Your always so diplomatic" is the way my family would always put it 😂. Also none outside of my family ever got my jokes or when I was using sarcasm even though i thought I changed my voice a lot when I did joke or use sarcasm.

[@jimwilliams3816]

@sam..123. OMG, jokes and sarcasm...I always thought I was pretty good at that stuff, but actually gave it up because I kept getting “what exactly does he mean by that?” looks. Dropping my sense of humor did not help my mental health I think.

[@ahseymania]

i do that all the time 😭😭

[@techwizsmith7963]

​@@Sam..123OMG I do the voice thing too, I thought people just didn't care to listen for it. How the hell do they understand each other's sarcasm?

[@elainegibson320]

Always picked on, I was like what's everyone's problem, I never hurt anyone.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

I'm so sorry! 😭 It's the worst - I remember people in high school glaring at me like they hated me...it was the first day and I hadn't interacted with them once 😭😅

[@Indigoisaspookyghost]

Same here, I’ve been bullied for being the “weird kid” in every school I’ve been to. Not mean to anyone, just slightly outside the social norms.

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes

[@katm8128]

Same and excluded as well, even by groups that were considered “nerdy”.

[@tikimillie]

Yeah… like, even at special schools, hell even at a school for autists i were weird, but that might be because i was much more affected by adhd too

[@wolfofmercury7518]

I tend to tell employers interviewing me I'm autistic, bc even though their biases tend to make things difficult it's still better than if i don't. They can tell somethings "off" no matter how much i try to mask so giving an explanation so they don't "think I'm a sociopath" makes it easier. It's so complicated and exhausting

[@rebeccamay6420]

Awesome video! I really must disconnect and transition into starting my day despite my intense desire to ramble and overshare about how well I relate to you and recognize A,B,C,X,Y,Z traits in so many people I know and feel comfortable with!

[@annacurston1554]

Literally just got my diagnosis and was SO ready to say "Oh no! This confirms it, they were wrong. I was wrong!" But this was actually really reassuring to me. So relieved and feeling a bit more validated in terms of my experiences.

[@imautisticnowwhat]

I'm so glad! Congrats on your diagnosis 💛

[@monkey6207]

@@imautisticnowwhat To be honest, you should quit your youtube channel. The more into the cult you get, the harder it is for you to admit that you bought into a pseudoscience trend.

[@keahiw]

I’m really perplexed about whether or not I’m autistic because my therapist of two years was quite sure I am, but when I got a psychological evaluation the doctor said I had pretty much all the symptoms, but she didn’t think I had “enough social difficulties” to be autistic so the symptoms are “better explained by other diagnoses”. I don’t know how to quantify my degree of social difficulties in comparison to others so I’m sort of lost now.

[@AngryPug76]

I posted a longer explanation of this in the comments but the short answer is: providers see autism as a disabling disease instead of as a different way for our minds to work. So if they don’t see a disabled person then we can’t have the disease autism. Also keep in mind they rate how autistic a person is not by our ability to support ourselves but by how annoying we are to them in social and work situations. Our diagnosis from these types of providers comes down entirely to how naturally comfortable they feel around us and not at all by how we process the world.

[@janessali1218]

You can think of social difficulties as kind of the “core” part of an autism diagnosis, so that’s why. While it’s a spectrum, generally no social difficulties = no autism.

[@keahiw]

@@janessali1218 yeah I understand this. My question isn’t if I can have autism without social difficulties. My question is if I have “social difficulties” in the way autistic people do or not. The way people describe social difficulties in autism is always really vague, which makes it impossible for me to know if that’s what I’m experiencing. Allistic people can also struggle socially, but it isn’t in the same way, so I don’t know which one is what I’ve had. I’m not actually expecting to find an answer in online comment sections though, just shouting into the void I guess.

[@lambybunny7173]

@@AngryPug76well. Good to know I'll get my autism diagnosis over that and not because of how it affects me /s

[@coelhosdesenham2928]

Some autistics can appear to not have or have fewer social difficulties because of masking the symptoms Do you feel like social interactions are overly draining, that you feel constantly self-conscious, that you feel the need to prepare yourself to conversations, even script them? Do you find yourself constantly observing and copying people around you (for example: only laughing cause you see that everyone else is laughing)? Do you find yourself practicing facial expressions, reactions, phrases, etc? Those are some things that may indicate that you're a high masking autistic, I would recommend looking into it if you're interested, learning about this was a big reason why I was able to get my diagnosis

[@jodyo1814]

Thank you for this, my 3 year old son is autistic and after a lot of (some what obsessive) research and dealing with specialists it’s been suggested I am too, it’s actually making sense of all the times I was known as “wonderfully weird” and how I process and deal with different situations! Everything you said about yourself is how I am and feel

[@gsmokeandfire]

The friend thing took me out 😂 amazing video btw! Love your energy 🙌🏼

[@mystic_scythe]

I can infact empathize with the "you are"obsessed " with it." All my interests are also self soothing,as I roleplay to self soothe to the point i become distressed if i can't and am almost always maladaptive daydreaming. "Most of my interests lead to me escaping reality to calm down"

[@mystic_scythe]

Should have phrased this " i can in fact empathize with" being obsessed with x", just noticed it comes across as I am saying i empathize with the people calling you obsessed because they don't comprehend why x is so important to you. Rather then what I was actually trying to communicate.

[@dicktipps114]

@@mystic_scythe Roleplaying is my special interest too! I don't technically have autism, but I do have a diagnosis that has as lot of similar symptom overlap. Playing characters who can care a lot less about social norms allows me to feel way more comfortable than I do in real life.

[@mystic_scythe]

@@dicktipps114 Yeah,it helps me learn how to recognize my own emotions and the emotions of others when i am distressed and helps push me to do things I don't have the energy to. Me: feels bad stuff needs to get done My roommate: ah i know you wanna roleplay black butler?"it helps me clean" Me: no My staff: oh shxx we need to take you to the doctor. Basically if i feel really bad or sick I say no me saying no is how they can tell its really bad

[@user-ty7ne4ew5h]

yes! i roleplay to escape reality and ill just be walking around my room sometimes roleplaying moments over and over again because of the serotonin it gives me

[@mystic_scythe]

@@user-ty7ne4ew5h Glad i am not the only one who's brain just randomly starts doing that. It can be difficult when it happens in a way that makes it impossible to see the real world because i am extremely distressed. But that's not because of my autism its because of PTSD.

[@vanessakasz8031]

I’m not autistic, but I do have inattentive ADHD and so many of these are similar! I have never had issues understanding/recognizing others’ emotions or their motivations for things, but I still had (and still do have) difficulties with social relationships because I get easily exhausted by them! It takes so much mental energy for me to pull myself out of my dream world and into reality. And transitions…oh boy!! I have SUCH a hard time moving from one thing to the next. I get so hyper focused on things and forget to eat or even that I have to use the bathroom. 😅 It’s almost like what you described about having a special interest (cuz I get DEEPLY into it), but it just changes month to month. 😂

[@mgivton]

I used to wonder if I was autistic too. Turns out if you're a socially awkward introvert with nerdy interests and inattentive ADHD, it looks very much like autism from the outside. I identified very strongly with maybe 4 of the 9 points (mostly the social ones) and the remainder weren't relatable at all.

[@angrybunnies9664]

I relate to that sooo much. My brother has adhd and autism, but I have inattentive adhd, and my mom (who is classic hyperactive adhd) kept trying to lable me as autistic when I am better at social nuance than she is. I just get tired of people quicker than she does because I'm not hyper.

[@TheFren]

Hi, I can relate a lot. I actually thought for a VERY long time that I was autistic, but then it turned out at way over thirty (and mind me, a lot of therapists and psychiatrists had seen me by then) that I have ADHD. Bit more digging into the family brought up that my mother actually has both ADHD and Autism, and honestly, it feels like having an autistic mother was very similiar to "not being handed the manual". I was struggling so hard as a child, but once I got older and learned that these strange gut feelings I got in social situations were actually correct, it gradually got better. I also know that as a very small child, I had no problems with other kids at all, it only came later, when my strange behaviours that I learned from home got judged. I still prefer people who are direct because I don't have the impulse control and patience to tip toe around difficult social stuff, but not because I don't understand it, but because I think it's pointless and annoying. (I'm also German though, which usually doesn't help with being overly polite. xD)

[@pokechatter]

As an inattentive ADHD brain not on the spectrum that grew up watching my ASD older brother, I’ve never been fully sure which of my behaviors were inherent to me and which I might have picked up on by copying him. I definitely had an easier time with recognizing most of others emotions/motivations than he did when we were kids, and while I could socialize a bit at first contact, my introversion has made it difficult to form deeper, longer lasting connections overall. I’m with you on some of the transitions things, but more so because there are more things I’m disinterested in than not, so either have to medicate and allow myself to hyperfocus on things I dislike like work, or end up letting myself be distracted and wasting time rather than doing anything useful. Larger transitions, like the first day of school or a new job always keep me up the night before. Edit: I’d like to note that I was diagnosed as a child, but didn’t fully understand what exactly my diagnosis was until about 12-13 years ago.

[@CandiceLemonSharks]

Same ADHD boat, though my biggest "probably not autistic" clue is "routine stresses me out/I do not form load bearing routines" .... But he'll if I'm going to pass up perfectly useful sense-making coping strategies just because I have a different brain thing.

[@hericide]

this video blew my mind - i have been suspecting i am autistic for several years now, but i had never heard of autistic inertia before. i relate so much to what you described here, but i always thought i was just "lazy" or not functioning like a proper adult for some reason. hearing that this is apparently a symptom of autism is somehow incredibly relieving to me, like its not a personal flaw of mine that i have somehow failed to overcome. thank you so much for this video!

[@sophiel2323]

Couldn't help but laugh at the bit about accent and speaking 'posh'/differently, it's so true! My family are all Northeners and I'm the only one with a nondescript accent which gets mistaken for being posh or sometimes Irish(?). I also used to take pride in being verbose and using interesting words as a kid/teen, and never felt right using slang or swearing. Some of that still bleeds into how I talk today and I have heard that I speak 'unusually'. I'm having imposter syndrome about possibly having ASD, and watched this video fully with the intent of finding some reasons why I might not be, but it's just ended up backing up my theory... Thank you for the awesome content! ⭐

[@PyxieK]

The language thing really resonated with me. When I was 3 years old and my mom still I had to help me use the bathroom, I told her that I was “sick of this humiliation” instead of saying that I just didn’t want her helping me anymore lol

[@rocketgarcia5245]

LMAOOOOOO I resonate 😭

[@emma2884]

Lol I showed my mom a drawing I'd made of a girl being "obstinate". Her mouth was a straight line and no arms because they were "behind her back". I've also been told I have random accents before. In elementary and high school I was British. Now apparently I have a southern accent. I'm from upper peninsula Michigan.

[@Headtalk]

I remember being told by peers growing up I spoke like their grandparents. I don’t know why that was the most common comparison, but it happened a lot. I grew up in Tennessee, but I had a perfectly neutral American accent, a monotone voice, and a college level vocabulary, and other kids did not like that. I’m not officially diagnosed, but I’ve experienced most of what you talk about here. Regardless of if I’m autistic or not, your channel has really helped me understand and accept myself and I can’t understate how thankful I am.

[@Unfocusedzen]

I was also told this, but then again, I was raised by my grandparents. People just always says I was a little precocious because of the way I spoke I didn’t sound monotone, but I use big words and very abstract expressions, and I was also very endearing with my speech, what I didn’t know is that I was literally mimicking everyone’s speech around me, never fully integrating into my own, .

[@TheOneAndOnlyOuuo]

@@Unfocusedzen oh wow, I can so relate to the "mimicking" people's speech. Took me almost 25 years to figure out that the reason some people don't like me is that I speak to them in a fashion they only deem fitting to speak to someone of lower status, because that's how some older people talk to "youngsters". Turns out they really really don't like that and find it disrespectful even if it happens to be how they talk to someone "of equal standing", since in their mind you are clearly not...

[@nykole1963]

I was an oddball, not for the word choice I used or my accent or anything, but the fact that I was about 6 or 7 and already thinking and talking about death, what may or may not happen after, how we got here, how the universe started, what could possibly be out there, and so on. My brain moved so fast, it was already off this planet and out of this particular timeline lol One thing, too, about not being diagnosed but suspecting you have autism is that this particular group of people seems to be the most understanding and laid-back collection of weirdos that any group ever was. I suspect that I'm autistic, but never got diagnosed (idiot psychologist that was studying how my brother and I interacted should have seen something but she wasn't paid for that...anyways). However, it never seemed to matter. Everyone in the community just seems like "Oh, you have a couple of aspects and don't feel like you fit in anywhere else? Sure, come take a seat and we'll get you a chewy." It's actually nice. Even if you find out later you don't have autism, you'll still be accepted. Just gotta be nice, it's the only stipulation.

[@throwawayaccountm1325]

I diagnose you with the very common “look at me I’m special”

[@gthktty666]

vibes i had a similar experience thru school as child, i got teased for "reading the dictionary" as a 10-year-old because i knew a lot of "big" words - jokes on them, i was actually reading medical encyclopedias

[@lyreleaf]

I wasn't expecting it, but this was really validating! I've been scared to ask my GP for a referral - partially because I've been shrugged off before, but also the overwhelming fear that I might be wrong and how upsetting it would be to hear that from a professional. Finding out I'm not alone in the way I feel has been a HUGE comfort for me the last few years (especially in online communities) and I'm so scared of losing that support and that feeling of "oh, that makes sense".

[@seungminsamericano3602]

Thank you for this video it was very informative! I clicked because I’ve been thinking of being screened, and this just made me consider getting screened even more.

[@tubbygubbler]

one example of #9 (struggling to transition between tasks) that i experience a lot..... i listen to music practically 24/7, and if someone sends me a video or a song to listen to, i WILL NOT want to watch/listen until much much later. because i'm already listening to *my* music and i'm not mentally ready to... _not be listening to my music_ 😭 it sounds so dumb when i verbalize it, but it happens to me all the time lol

[@tee3835]

Lol wow same!

[@yuricecconi561]

I have not been diagnosed with anything, so hearing this is kind of making me go "!!!!!", along with other comments on this vid. I do this. Do you also pace your room while you listen to music? Do you listen to a specific part of a song, or do you listen to the whole thing?

[@tubbygubbler]

@@yuricecconi561 hard to answer! i really do listen to music almost every second of my life if i can help it lol. so i do a looot of things while listening to music :) i think there are lots of ways for people to enjoy music, so don't let our differences make you doubt the possibility that you have autism. one thing that i have with music that tends to surprise people, is that i can recognize songs almost immediately. the first second of a song will play, and i will be able to tell you exactly what song it is. song title, artist name, sometimes even the album name (given that i have heard the song before). similarly, if you play a song for me, i will always be able to tell very quickly whether or not i have ever heard the song in my life. do you have anything kinda like that? not necessarily with music, but with anything?

[@benjamin3832]

same, when i listen to my music and see a video on twitter/x that could interest me i just bookmark it to watch it later when i'm not listening to any music

[@AnnieRose98]

Or audiobook suggestions 😬

[@ashleyboutte1964]

I have just started to learn more about autism and learn how much I’ve masked my whole life. It’s not that I thought everyone got a manual. I just thought everyone researched social skills online and I honestly would talk about it as a badge of honor like “yeah, I taught myself how to be this social”. Somehow I took pride in this without realizing others didn’t feel the need to do it!

[@zekova]

AAA SAME!! I thought everyone just more successfully researched how to be a social human than I could manage to do. 💀

[@margodphd]

I feel called out 😂 As a person that prides themselves on intellectual ability alone the feeling that others always beat me in this "pursuit" was hard to stomach. Therefore, I gave up.

[@riseofdarkleela]

Whoa! I was just thinking to myself “I am the Queen of Masking “ (of course I am exhausted afterwards but nobody realized that I am the weirdo they are supposed to push down the stairs).

[@ashleyboutte1964]

Ha, just yesterday I was telling my boyfriend more about autism and masking. I think I said something like “but I’m really good at masking, no one would even know, I’m so ‘normal’!” He didn’t respond and it turns out, I am not as good at masking as I thought 😂

[@defaultuser1001]

I've just been looking at the possibility of having autism (have inattentive adhd and MERLD so might be that) but I thought I didn't mask until I realized I do lol. I'll prepare preplanned responses or be like "they said this as question inviting me, say definitely act excited and nod head"

[@louisekbl4]

What you said about headphones, omg! That's me! I have to have music on to help me concentrate on driving. I wear them out doing shopping aswell when I'm on my own. When I'm out with my partner, I find myself getting annoyed because he will speak to me and I will not be able to focus on what he's saying etc I'm really really really interested in Taylor Swift! Hahaha xxx

[@SolomonDouglas]

I am so happy that I found your channel.

[@fairies-kill]

Growing up as an undiagnosed autistic, I somehow was both bullied and at times extremely popular, it really just depended on the year. Most of elementary school I’d experience more subtle bullying and shunning but I didn’t ever really notice cause I had a friend group of my own and no one else mattered too much. Turns out we are all mentally ill/disabled and we just had no idea 😭😭 we were considered the cool kids (not popular, there was a difference) then high school came along and I was completely on my own and ignored which wasn’t too bad ig

[@jaydescorner8401]

ugh ive never heard someone have an experience close to mine (one of my symptoms is mutism so that made me unique in a way that people found me amusing but also weird enough in a way where people found me, well, weird)

[@wimsylogic65]

so strange. I also had a similar experience to this.

[@Andreas-gh6is]

In my opinion, when we have gotten enough clues that society can't stand us, why do it to them? Better to isolate oneself and not cause any more harm than necessary. The world would be a better place without all the assholes trying to have social lives and ruining it for everyone else.

[@halcyon.x]

not a single original experience in my life omg

[@TheeHC]

I feel this

[@JemimaDoesASMR]

21:20 I don't have autism, but I do have ADHD. I remember the first time I took medication so clearly and your story about the cups of tea hit home! I was exactly the same - I was always so focussed on what I was doing that I never got up to eat or drink, my family would bring me things every now and again... but the first time I took medication, I sat down to do some work, worked for about 20 minutes, then got up and made myself a cup of tea before easily, calmly returning back to work, sipping my tea as I went. I can't really put into words what that was like.

[@neermuse]

I sometimes get up, make a coffee or serve some other drink, get to my desk, work for 4 hours, hear a knock, go open the door, find my drink sitting on the table and half the doors and drawers open, drink it in one go because it isn't good anymore, walk back to my desk, hear another knock, go get the door, see the open doors and drawers, close them, go back to work, notification, get distracted, check the thing, forget I was working and spend the rest of the day doing nothing of use, end the day having had no food and one drink, often with my bladder screaming because I forgot to pee.

[@xScreamingxInsanityx]

The amount of ADHD(ADD) and autism cross overs has always peeked my curiousity. I was misdiagnosed like my shrink was getting paid by the condition, because of this I grew a "special interest" in psychology, biology, and human developement. Priority disfunction is very common among both neurodiverent entities. My anology for this is your subcontious is the personal assistant to your body's CEO (contious thought). Your B.CEO said this task needs done asap. For regular people this demand does not come inbetween you and your physical health. You need to be alive and relatively healthy to get it done. For ADHD&Autism on the other hand you can either finish this task or die. The Personal Assistant comes in occasionally and recommends things like tea or cookies but we often shew them away as we just need to finish this one thing that leads us directly into another thing and suddenly 5hrs have passed. Time is a thing that happens too neurodiverent people. Routine is like the control knots we put in to help us better climb the rope of time. Its why so many feel comfort in routines. Yet not everyone needs that specific aid. Some people see time more like climbing a tree instead of a rope. The routines are not required as much because each event in their day is a branch to reach and everything inbetween is unimportant. It just depends on how your life is structured.

[@neonkatt7659]

@@neermuse I love the run-on sentence. It genuinely feels like a great example of how things go for us.

[@maddykrantz]

OMG SAME! ADHD but not ASD for me too and I relate so much!

[@LatayiaBieber97]

ADHD has actually been added to the autistic spectrum so... yeah lol

[@RobinLecter]

WAIT, I recognize that sculpting style!! I have been following your mom's page for ages!! Since at least 2016!! Her sculptures are amazing!!! ❤ No wonder I thought your face was strikingly familiar when I first started watching your videos. The world is so small sometimes.

[@GwynethLlewelyn]

Thanks so much for the links to the tests!

[@Moonless87]

I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and adhd last year. I always thought that there was something wrong with me, that I was missing some important part that everyone else had. Almost all of the kids in my class hated me and called me a weirdo among other names. I managed to find 2 friends basically because they felt sorry for me at first. I remember trying to follow the other kids around, not saying anything. All of them told me to go away. Even my two friends at first told me to leave them alone but apparently after I stood alone crying on the playground, they came to me and Said something like "ok, you can be with us, don't cry". They remained my friends through elementary school and middle school and defended me against bullies. I remember clearly my friends being mad at the bullies who mocked my OCD symptoms and stuttering. I am still in contact with one of the friends on Facebook but the last time I saw my other friend was when I was 17 years old in 2004. (Sorry for any possible Spelling errors, English isn't my mother language)

[@imautisticnowwhat]

Your English is great! I'm sorry you experienced that from your peers, but I'm glad your two friends stuck by you in the end. It's sad when we lose contact with people - I'm pretty bad with that 😭

[@kayasia8916]

I had a similar experience but no one was really ever nice to me. I thought I had friends, but then found out I was essentially kept around to make fun of

[@dry_strawberries]

This just recalled some memories i totally forgot. Maybe i forgot those for a good reason because i thought i didnt have any memories earlier than 11 years old

[@hermi1-kenobi455]

If it’s was last year then it would be ASC rather than ASD (autism sepctrum *condition* instead of disorder.) because they changed it. Apparently “disorder” has negative connotations. /nm

[@rock_rock]

There were many times when I was asked by someone to be friends.. but then later they told me that them and I were never friends, or that it was a joke. Or some times they'd use it to try get me into trouble, using me as a scapegoat for something they did wrong.

[@Jengrl22]

This was extremely validating in so many ways, but in particular, discussing what it really means to have an "intense" hobby. I flit around from hobby to hobby, so I never really identified with that part of autism. But whenever I sit down to whatever hobby I'm into at the time, I will sit there for 6 or 7 hours straight. it takes so much time and effort to switch gears, and being interrupted and/or expected to put it down without warning is always super distressing. If I need to do something else right away, it feels like my brain is literally a grinding, rusty gear struggling to turn. I know this may overlap with adhd traits/symptoms, but it still was really nice to hear your explanation, as well as hearing "it's not the topic, its the intensity of the focus"

[@jimwilliams3816]

Changing special Interests is something that’s been talked about a lot as a common AuDHD trait...interests that persist longer than typical for ADHD and shorter than typical for autism. Honestly, I don’t know that having both is essential for changeable interests, but it does work than way for many. I tend to get heavily into something for 2-5 years. Sometimes it’s that the activity involves other people (volunteering is like that), and after a while it sinks in that my bluntness and need for control has burned my bridges with people, so I move on. I did that many times before realizing I was neurodivergent.

[@alicuppycake93]

I have adhd too so my intense special interests last a few months at a time and then I need novelty, but I always come back to the same ones after the novelty wears off lol

[@kaidevaleria2531]

I have some that switch around but a few which are lifelong like pandas, dogs, and Pokemon.

[@friendlyneighborhoodapostate]

you put this so perfectly

[@ItsKewl]

THIS. I'm literally listening to my music playlists everywhere I go almost all day and it's almost always the same few songs on loop. If someone interrupts me, I get super annoyed and try to get back to listening to music. I sometimes even lash out at people if I'm already a little stressed. I've been doing this since I was 9, I'm 17 now.

[@joshualevan]

I've noticed in myself, I have a very exponential path for growth while most have a very linear path. Also, my productivity tends to come in large spikes while others have a steady wave. Is this wrong? NO! Is the world set up for the latter? YES! That's why workplace models like google, that people often mock, work for that kind of mind.

[@S0n3ta]

This was enlightening. Thank you

[@lulub517]

I was always told to “speak up” as a child that “You’re too quiet” but I never understood because I could hear myself speaking fine, but apparently everyone else could not, and sometimes I’d have to speak up really loud to the point of hurting my own ears because people STILL couldn’t hear me! Now I speak louder and faster. I used to be super silent too and now I won’t shut up. As for my special interests. I usually fixate on media of some kind but usually a very specific topic of media. For example if I enjoy a movie, I’ll focus heavily on a single of a group of characters from said movie, like I will intensify my focus towards a specific character and their backstory more than anything else to do with the media.

[@CoffeeFiend1]

It sounds like in most cases people can in fact hear you and it's likely a respect thing (doesn't mean you're a terrible person, it means other people can be). When people don't want to talk to us they'll give us simple answers or grunts but if we're persistent they'll pretend they didn't hear us which 1.) makes us re-state everything, making us feel awkward and 2.) now everyone else around us who may not have heard or been aware of this person to person interaction is now paying attention to it which can further change how you need to repeat it. It's a bullshit mind game. A way of putting you in your place saying your not as important as you think you are. An easy test is to wait until it's something that benefits the other person and when they give you the little fake smile "sorry, what" bollocks you just turn around and walk off. To your back they will likely now answer or respond to your entire query in perfect fucking detail, ensuring it's succinct and clear so you can get it before you're out of range. Then you can stop, turn around and just say "oh so you in fact, did, fucking hear me then, you heard me perfectly by the sounds of it".

[@spulwasser]

This was me as a child, coupled with selective mutism (e.g. if the teacher asked me something in front of the class). I still fall back into that pattern nowadays sometimes if I feel overwhelmed with a social situation where I'm at the center of attention

[@thethirdtime9168]

@@spulwasser Fuck, never considered this might have been my issue in Primary and High School. Around 7th grade I got told 'you just need to say something, we can see you know the answers, just speak up!', and I spent so much damn energy participating in class for a few years, training myself to forcibly dragging words out of my mouth, that it totally fell apart when high school came around and stuff changed around to a new environment. When asked questions in class I just shut down, mouth closed and tongue caught and I never understood why....

[@LegalVampire]

Same! Up until the end if high school people always got annoyed at me for speaking too quiet and said I was mumbling, but I didn't understand how to raise my voice volume

[@jimwilliams3816]

“Now I speak louder and faster. I used to be super silent too and now I won’t shut up.” Hmmm! I am a compulsive talker now, and I think of it as substantially ADHD, but I am aware of autistic influences too: I disclose compulsively because I think more information is better, and if I keep talking eventually people will understand what I’m trying to say. By adolescence I was one of the loud types; I didn’t realize it until I got a joke award for that. I’m not sure about my early years; I was a fearful child, and associate those years more with autistic behaviors than my later ADHD ones. So it interests me that you started out one way and shifted another. It may match my trajectory as well.

[@ZhovtoBlakytniy]

I was never bullied, but I have always been "otherized" and I have been called weird, quirky, and creepy because of my special interests (human skulls, cryptids, and invertebrates). I made acquaintances and friends, and usually they were people of different than usual to my surroundings as in- from different cultures or people with disabilities. I was welcoming to them more than the rest of kids. Also, I preferred elderly people and babies over any other age groups. I got called a little granny as a kid by my family lol

[@13th.moon.]

Can’t get called weird by people if you’re never around people

[@wintergray1221]

Do you believe in cryptids or are just interested in the phenomena? Because, no joke, I've seen Bigfoot. They call it Grassman in my area.

[@alpacafish1269]

lol. true@@13th.moon.

[@alpacafish1269]

same.

[@bigkirbyhj666]

I've always felt more comfortable with dogs more than people personally.

[@NalaDGill]

Videos like yours give me such comfort and make me feel so understood and relieved that I’m not alone

[@breadcrumbhoarder]

In todays episode of “WOW I need to get an official diagnosis because I didn’t realize that thing I’ve always done is a sign of autism”, didn’t realize that taking forever to transition to a new thing could be a sign of autism! I was always last out of class, I will spend hours thinking about the fact that I need and want to get up to go to the bathroom or to go eat dinner, and when I finish a task I normally need a break to stop thinking about that task before I move on to the next one. Luckily I’ve gotten good about this at work and can switch between tasks easier (tasks like restocking, folding boxes, etc.) because I’m not expected to finish these tasks and someone will take over, so I know the task will be completed, as well as being able to finish part of the task I was working on and having that closure (for example, finish folding the box I was working on before switching to the new task)

[@narglefargle]

During my first couple psychological consultations, I got a lot of "Hmmm...are you SURE you want to go through with this? You appear to me to be handling everything well. It may not be necessary to go through this." "I speak normally." Yes, because I've had a lot of practice mimicking people. I'm also pretty good at accents. "I have friends." Yes, because I work hard to be a genuinely good, kind, caring person. People tend to like that. "I have a job, drive a car, buy groceries, cook, clean, etc." Yes, because I have to in order to survive. It also takes almost literally ALL of my energy. "This car looks and feels like a solid, reliable machine that will last forever." Really? Because a lot of people who bought a German luxury car within the past three decades would beg to differ. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, the possibility is very real that it's just a life-sized toy duck that can walk and quack. That doesn't mean it can fly or swim. I hope neurology and psychology learn to progress with social understanding of neurodiversity writ large.

[@user-vh4oo9nm8k]

What happens if you get diagnosed? I'm pretty sure i should get it done. But these warnings against getting diagnosed keep popping up? What happens.

[@MadeInPoland182]

​@user-vh4oo9nm8k I was diagnosed in Europe, and all I can say from my perspectivr: nothing happens, you choose where you want to reveal this diagnosis. This information is not automatically shared with your employer, you choose whether you want to reveal a disability and most people don't even notice it. If you're from the US, I can't say anything as I never lived there, but I'd be surprised if that was shared without your consent.

[@girlpowergamer2303]

Im diagnosd, I would only do it if you are under 15y. Otherwise dont. It can work against you as an adult and spend a lot of money to prove you are in capable of doing things​@@user-vh4oo9nm8k

[@MissSchnickfitzel]

Lots of people in positions like this are underqualified and lack empathy

[@arkiviantunes]

​@user-vh4oo9nm8k I'm not diagnosed, im currently on the waiting list. But something I've found with the nurotipicals around me is that they seem to think getting a diagnosis means you gain autism not that you already had autism so you seek the diagnosis. they talk you out of it because they don't understand the turmoil of being non-diagnosed That's just my experience of it though.

[@Orangeisgreat383]

Me watching this after getting an official diagnosis in October:”Oh no, what if it was wrong?!”, while ignoring my preschool signs and reports, social difficulties over 2,5 decades and sensory hellscape 😂.

[@catsplayharryholmes9482]

I was only diagnosed with it when I was 18 and my work says I don't come across as an autistic person😅 (I'm turning 23 this year) My current work is a workshop for disabled people 😅

[@ATLA99]

Off topic, but you have a very relaxing way of speaking

[@skimbaweed]

This was a fantastic video, thank you

[@MaiseNow]

Regarding point 3...I LOVE socializing. I basically trained myself as a sociologist as a kid, using conversations to test out different ways of saying things and mentally recording reactions. Back then, the goal was to teach myself not to stand out, to be "normal". Nowadays I just like learning things from other people, and trying to make their day better in the process (so many people just want to feel like someone has seen them/listened to them!). I was probably the most loved-by-customers employee at my last retail job because I listened to their unnecessary life stories behind why they needed X product, and remembered their names or things they said when they visited later. But I am still definitely autistic. All of my extroverted socializing is scripted, rehearsed and refined over decades to be something that's just "a dry sense of humor" to neurotypicals. I enjoy social events because I have a plan for nearly every situation. It's when something happens that I haven't accounted for that I get overwhelmed and when that happens, it happens SO fast, like an engine ramping up to speed.

[@dorjgothegreat2740]

SAME SAME SAME. Also one of my special interests is people and psychoanalysis (and sociological analysis especially!) I can’t actually get much done on my own unless I’m around others. If I don’t have friends (99% of which are also autistic or at least have ADHD), I’m miserable. I don’t relate to #3 at all either

[@DarrenSheaTX]

Yes! I have to answer tech support phone calls at work, and I can make internal scripts to keep myself feeling somewhat comfortable, but when they go off where I expect in terms of niceness, I can find myself overwhelmed by emotions - sometimes good emotions when they are particularly kind, and I may even start to tear up, but confusion and frustration when I perceive them to be deliberately rude.

[@Catlily5]

I am an extroverted autistic. I need time to myself but I am unhappy if I don't have some time to socialize. I don't script things unless I am in a conflict or it is very important.

[@Just1Nora]

​@@DarrenSheaTX I have so much anxiety about calling my health insurance, or even answering my phone. I do the scripting when talking with everyone, but especially with tech support, doctors offices, insurance companies, and I have to sometimes make a physical list of things to make sure I talk to one of my doctors about because it will be running across my brain as part of the daily stock ticker of problems, to do list, round to it list, the avoid it entirely list, things to tell my therapist, things to tell family, reminder to show my bestie "that thing" (usually a funny meme, shirt, video, etc and she in turn sends me random medical symptoms or problems) If I go into my own little world and then pop back out during conversation then I have to make sure I don't say something I questioned in there because it's usually "weird" and on topic of our conversation, but it's hard because they're things I feel I suddenly need the answer for and will just dump my question there and then people would laugh or give me uncomfortable stares or would tease me for saying.

[@gravestac]

Yeah, it's more of a generalized "these sets of symptoms fit this diagnosis." But you don't need all of them to be diagnosed. But also same. I've always been overly extroverted. Another opposite for me is structure. Most ASD individuals like to have structure, things planned out, things done at specific times, transitions are difficult. Really describes my child. We both have ASD, but I can't stand structure. Really stresses me out having things be too contained. My kid needs it though, so I make sure they have as much as they can get. They get stressed out if things change too much, during transitions, anything out of schedule. A true dichotomy. And so much planning goes into my social interactions. I am almost like a psychic how accurate I've become at predicting how people will react and behave. But I hate structure, and have severe ADHD, so it's all generalize ideas, that I use to adlib my way through everything. I've had to do some work presentations, and one of the higher ups checks out my "script" but was very confused why it was only 10 bullet points. Normally people actually have presentations fully scripted beforehand. I explained I just need the reminders, and use improvisation for the rest. My special interests mostly stem from a single one. I picked it waaaay too long ago, when I was still a toddler. How do things work? All of it. Everything I look at I just want to know more about it. People, ideas, concepts, physics, chemistry, politics, economics, biology, running, military, communications, computers, psychology, dinosaurs, history, music, pain, drama, art, cars, cooking, credit scores... It's just too much to know everything. But it still fits the autism spectrum. Because even though it isn't limited by number, the intensity of interest is way too much.

[@kornndogg9745]

I feel like I can't really say that I was bullied as a child, not because I wasn't, but because genuinely didn't know it was considered bullying at the time. Adults only ever talked about bullying in reference to getting shoved around or hurt by another student so I assumed ONLY stuff like that was bullying. I didn't think being called things like 'weird' or 'fat' by others was bullying cause like...yeah? I am kinda weird compared to others and I am fat. To me, it was just another kid looking at me and stating the obvious so I'd just agree with them and they were usually so perplexed by that response that they just stopped trying. My response to people trying to be mean was always just '...? Okay?' Because logically, it didn't make sense for them to be rude to me given I haven't done anything to them, so I didn't take it as rudeness.

[@elinorhillock3540]

relate to this haha lol i got called 'china' all of the several years i was at a specific school and now in *hindsight* I realise that was bullying at the time i was like- weird way to refer to someone, but yes, you aren't wrong.

[@merrin2273]

I had a similar experience. I was annoyed and confused when I was younger but didn't think of it as bullying... Then fast forward to being in my 20's telling stories and see how people react and realizing "oh, ok, those memories are so fresh because they were bullying me but I didn't understand how/why at the time"

[@IdaOpti]

Saaame! Have never known how to explain it but this is it!

[@10yearsago96]

My private school friends used to tell me about how fat my mom was, actually everyone would say that, “oh your mom is so fat” or “omg your dad is fat” and I’m pretty sure that was some hint that I was fat too😂 it sure made me insecure for the rest of my life

[@neurotten2422]

Came down to the comments to see if anyone else mentioned this! I remember some kids being like "oh no you're a ginger you're gonna steal our souls" but my autistic ass just went "oh, I guess we are doing a bit or something" so I just said something like "haha yeah look out! I will steal your souls!" since I had heard about the whole redheads steal souls thing and just didn't realize all of the bad implications. Pretty sure those kids were just weirded out, they didn't talk to me again. Besides that I have no idea if people ever tried to bully me, I would assume yes honestly.

[@meganboyer5782]

This has been very interesting, thank you. I've realized that the more time goes by, I find myself questioning if I'm on the spectrum more often. Today has been all about trying to figure out if I'm just a traumatized introvert with ADHD tendencies or if I might be on the spectrum. There's so much overlap. People tend to get along with me and I was never bullied, but my mom also did a lot of social coaching when I was a kid and I tend to just let other people talk about themselves so that helps.

[@Capyrate]

I've been ostracized and bullied during my entire school life, until I met my bff on our first day of high school. Two weirdos, way too similar in tastes and personalities. Except she's the extraverted and neurotypical one, while I'm the introverted and suspected neurodivergent one. 😂 But she accepted me like nobody had before, she was patient with me even when I did nothing to deserve her kindness. She waited for me to come around and be able to finally be myself. It's been 16 years now that we're in each other's life and I'm grateful every day I could meet her and become her friend. ❤ Without her, I probably wouldn't be where I am today.

[@LoFiGamerGurl]

I was first diagnosed with ADHD, and once i had been treating it for some time i started to really notice Autistic traits more. Turns out ADHD is really good at masking Autistic traits so ive kind of lived in this duality that is at odds with itself. Your video is so incredibly validating and i wish i had been able to see something like this years ago,

[@pebabmey]

I found the same thing happened to me once I began treating my adhd and social anxiety lmfao

[@surtu9221]

there is also comorbidity between ADHD and Autism and OCD and Autism.

[@dovahkiira172]

In my assessment of adhd I was warned my adhd was so dominant that once they figured out managing it that it would give space for other things to bubble up and then they’d look at assessing my other highly probable diagnosis of at least autism (and maybe more)

[@user-dz2yv1zl4b]

I thought I had ADHD since my mom had it but I’ve been beginning to really question everything by which I mean ever video I see of autism I cant relate to the symptoms and I really don’t want to self diagnose and I dont know what to do because my parents don’t believe me and keep neglecting what I tell them

[@eboronkay]

Just keep being your lovely, neurodivergent self. Wear your weirdness as a badge of honor. Normal looks really boring but I wouldn’t know because I’ve never been. As a teacher I could rarely eat with the teachers because I found them mean. At one of my jobs, the dean of students titled me the “queen of the outliers club” Many of the wonderfully quirky students would attach themselves to me. Don’t worry if your parents don’t believe you. You’ll find your way if you hold onto hope. In my life, that hope is Jesus. He’s my best friend Who never leaves me. He made me this way for a reason and I was a great special education teacher because of it.

[@Rike-hc6wt]

Re: Stimming, bit of a difficult one to recognize. Some years ago I would've said I don't stim. Before a friend pointed out "I can tell you're upset, you're making your sounds". Gee, great. I apparently do very repetitive "um" sounds when agitated, I never noticed until someone pointed it out. The hand flapping is just a quirk, surely. Just like I never thought I had textures that bother me except a deep hatred for sandpaper. Everything else is just a matter of taste, right? Again, wasn't until I had conversations with friends who jokingly questioned food I don't eat and my instinctive responses always ranged along the lines of "No, that texture is all wrong" or "Those things don't mix because that makes it the wrong kind of sticky" or "I like crunchy, but that's crunchy-squishy, so it's not okay". I never had intense interests or anything. Just... hobbies, y'know. Everyone has those. When as a teen I wrote in-depth essays on the implications of the magical system of role playing game whatever with regard to the in-game pantheon, it was just... hobbies. Just cause I wrote those in class doesn't mean I was obsessed or something. ...It's very easy to dismiss signs when you don't know what you're looking for.

[@steggopotamus]

This was a lovely description of what it's like. I have always recognized my autistic leaning traits (i don't have any very obviously anymore, but I have enough that I lean towards saying I'm autistic) but I did the same sort of thing with ADHD. How could I not have connected that me walking away from ongoing chat conversations meant I couldn't focus. Me forgetting my own birthday, me wondering why no one else at work thought it made sense to make things easier to follow, etc etc. Yeah, it's almost a little embarrassing for me, because I knew about adhd, I just didn't make the connection that my daily struggles were the same style of thing.

[@Esoteraeon]

It's nice that you touched on textures because I also have an aversion to certain textures. My family would cook for me at times and if it's this crunchy squishy kind of texture, I start to gag and dry heave. And it's an uncontrollable reflex when I do it too. I just can't handle how it feels. And then they think im ungrateful for the cooking despite me explaining about my texture issue lol

[@sharonamberbennett4725]

I got made fun of so badly for my stims so I learned to hide them or make them more acceptable.

[@vanessacardoza_music]

idk i did think about this for a while but im just chucking it up to me being blind and just sensitive to certain smells or tastes or textures, you know, because my other senses are hightened. Lovely description though.

[@Mickeyistired]

I have a total body aversion to nail files. Even thinking about them make my skin crawl. My mother was constantly filing her nails when I was a kid (she was very dedicated to making sure they were clean and pretty) and I would have to leave the room whenever she did. I think that’s what started my nail biting habit. I didn’t want my nails to ever get long enough to have to use a file so I’d just bite them off no matter how often I was scolded about it. I’ve actually never put that together until now and only started typing this because what you said about sand paper. That’s a real weird realization to have as an adult

[@Mushrooms683]

Whenever I engage with media related to autism, it's inconclusive. Half of the signs are "maybe?" a sixth are "...no, not at all" and a third are "THIS IS THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE EON"

[@biohazard_sil]

personality, I've always find it easier to identify things by establishing what they are not instead of establishing what they are so this video was really helpful to me!

[@eykyra]

This video just reaffirmed me more on my suspicion that I might be autistic. It was literally a checklist of things I've struggled with since childhood. I had been afraid of self-diagnosing especially because I have been very anxious towards health my whole life and I'm already afraid of being perceived as "hypochondriac" but I have been reading and watching videos on the subject and I feel that it will explain so much of my very complicated experience as a child, on how I felt so isolated from my peers and why it was always so hard to make and keep friends, why I was bullied for being weird as well as my current issues with work, mental health, socializing...

[@Margen67]

birb

[@obee7423]

birb

[@eykyra]

@@Margen67 ??

[@melodyperez4813]

@@eykyrayour pfp is a bird so they are saying birb

[@eykyra]

@@melodyperez4813 Um weird but thanks for explaining lol. I just love birds and bird photography 🤷

[@UncleverCarapace]

I think my combination is autism and ADHD just means my most consistent special interest is sucking up as much information about a random topic as possible. Wikipedia was the coolest thing I'd ever seen because I could just keep going on whatever train of thought caught my interest.

[@wintergray1221]

I have lost so many hours of my life reading about whatever random topic has suddenly caught my interest.

[@bigkirbyhj666]

Thiiiiis yes I love doing that

[@ericray7173]

I love and hate how I'll get on Wikipedia (my favorite website) and in 10 minutes be reading about something utterly unrelated to what brought me there.

[@theblaze5530]

It's not lost time. We're just doing what we like​@@wintergray1221

[@theblaze5530]

​@@ericray7173haha same

[@ItsThatKidGreg]

The more I watch these, the more I'm convinced I need a diagnosis. The transition one is huge for me. Trying to leave a task I've fully invested into feels like pulling teeth. Have had major issues falling asleep since I was a child, and often I sit in my car when I arrive somewhere (even home) to 'collect myself' before I actually go in

[@dorito4448]

An important thing to keep in mind when thinking about the "making friends" question: social skills are really dependent on your upbringing, too. So if you were neglected as a child or had otherwise (emotionally) abusive parents, that will also severely impact your social skills. Source: My own experience. I kind of intentionally learned my social skills (easier with "different" people, as you said) and to seek out socializing after moving out from home and realizing that most people don't have bad intentions, actually. Earlier in my life I often wondered if I was autistic but now I'm pretty sure that I'm not.

[@hannahm4078]

As a person that has also always struggled with the transition to sleep, listening to something is so helpful. For years before cell phones were a thing, I slept with a radio under my pillow and listened to a lot of late night talk radio 😆

[@crushworthyxo]

As a kid before iPods, I slept with headphones on regularly but one day my friend got a pillow with a built-in speaker and aux cord and it was the best thing ever! I used it whenever I slept over her house lol

[@moon_mint]

Omg I did this too!! Specifically that "Delilah" radio show late at night 😂

[@pipebombpete.6861]

I just drink

[@Vanessa-luv13]

literally same!! as a kid i always had classical fm on the radio to sleep to,, now i have my sleep playlists on Spotify i play literally every night :D (sleep timer>>>)

[@LooneyClipse]

Damn i actually did the radio thing during childhood. Listened to radio plays and such. These days i listen to rain asmr

[@tophatcat6424]

I grew up in a relatively rural and remote town and had never really known much about what autism or adhd, but when I entered college I quickly made friends with two different people who had been diagnosed with autism. Both independently asked me if I was neurodivergent, and I had never thought about it, and realizing the amount of things I do that can be common signs surprised me.

[@tophatcat6424]

I had an online doctor's appointment to get a diagnosis, but it only lasted 15 minutes, and he just said it could be adhd and prescribed me atomoxetine. Honestly thinking of going to someone else in person

[@andydietrich3689]

These comments are sad - the human condition is about finding stability and purpose and self in a world we inherently don’t understand because it was created before our existence. In 2023 the human condition is a 15 minute consult for-profit pharmaceuticals

[@crystalcline9036]

​@@tophatcat6424 ADHD is comorbid in (of I remember correctly) greater than half of autism cases..... So they're not "wrong" but they're not right either

[@jktech2117]

i dont think i need treatment, ill just move to a small town cuz i hate big cities and rn i live in one.. even tho im always home theres always noise that even if i dont oay attention to them much i get stressed. when i go to the small town my mother and other relatives lives ... is just so quiet and the biggest noise is just some music and kids playing in the pool. there is way less noise and is much better for me... gosh even seeing the sky that blue made me happy cuz in my city the sky is almost always grey

[@vivianstewart7523]

Lazy doctors think everything can be solved with drugs. Ugh. @@tophatcat6424

[@ariahart20]

This is so helpful! 😩🤗

[@katieg2264]

I remember taking a certification test in a room with others (that cost like 200$) and I was panicking because all I could hear was people coughing, sniffling, and the constant clicking of computer keys. It was like every sound wiped my memory repeatedly.

[@olydraws]

You’re so gentle with your audience and I really appreciate it. You always add that it’s not necessary for an autistic person to not tick all these criteria, and it’s not necessary for a neurotypical person to be all that. I just realised that my entire family on my mother’s side stims (none of us are autistic, though I have a mental illness) but we always snap at each other about it. And I was constantly told off about my voice as a kid! And don’t get me started on not fitting in - I still struggle with it as an adult, as soon as I’m a part of any group there’s someone in that group wanting to bring me down.

[@Dany-nx7th]

"I still struggle with it as an adult, as soon as I’m a part of any group there’s someone in that group wanting to bring me down." - well, that happens to me too, but I don't see it as a sign of autism...why should it be?

[@tottallyok]

Funny because I’ve wondered about the “border” between being autistic and “introverted” as well but from the latter perspective. It took me a while to realize multiple of my friends were autistic as I also have struggled fitting in, felt uncomfortable with eye-contact etc. yet lacked other, very prominent autistic traits. “Autistic traits are human traits” is pretty spot-on.

[@danielbenavi7197]

They are litterly complitley differnt

[@Dovahkiin0117]

@@danielbenavi7197we still people ain’t we lol U saying we ain’t human like wtf bruh

[@danielbenavi7197]

@@Dovahkiin0117 i talked about introverts and autistics that are différents from each other I had a couple of autistic friends which are way more social then "Normal people'' What's U talking about are the autistics which the lateness of social skills made theme unsocial

[@luckas221a]

@@danielbenavi7197 the inverse is also true. ASD can develop traits that make socialising harder. So can introversion and a number of other personality traits. In the same vein, being introverted can lead someone to have behaviours which are also associated with ASD. People on the spectrum can also be very social. I’m autistic but have always been very social, and pretty good at socialising, which led to having a late diagnosis.

[@jimwilliams3816]

@danielbenavi7197 yeah, I’ve known people on the spectrum that were extremely prone to socializing, and the tricky part for me was that they sometimes wanted to do stuff for many hours, whereas I’ve always been good for 2 or maybe 3 hours tops, and then it’s time for a long break. It seems plausible - while sensory avoiding gets focused on more, I’ve met autistic kids who are sensory seeking. Desire to socialize may work the same, and anyway, a great many of us have a desire to socialize, and the problem is we’re not good at it. I sometimes wish I was truly happy being a hermit, because I’ve largely become one now, and I wish it felt right all the way around. It sucks wanting something that I have such trouble with. Socializing stresses me out but I still wish for it. Neurotypical people have a variety of personality types, and it wouldn’t make sense to suppose that neurodivergent people don’t as well.

[@macmarles3243]

Btw i love your winged liner and makeup!!!!! Can you do a video on your skincare and makeup routine?

[@lorna525]

Thank you for this. I am in my 30s and I have been doing a lot of research over the past couple of years on late in life diagnosis and I am working up the courage to actually go see a specialist. I waiver frequently on the question, "Am I autistic or just introverted?" This video definitely pushed me hard over the line into the autism camp, and that is weirdly comforting. Thank you for making a video from a different perspective!

[@anegrey]

I'm officially ADHD, but have some features of autism (definite monotropism, hard time making eye contact, intense special interests, feel overwhelmed in loud or complex environments like parties), and have always had close friends who in retrospect were almost certainly autistic. It's been interesting to try to untangle things, but I guess I'm also trying to accept the gray areas.

[@bellama920]

Yup! Same! A lot of the shared traits I hit on the list like stimming and being told I talk weird (usually in relation to talking like other adhders), but the less overlapping areas, like ease of socializing I didn't relate to!

[@lilyfae7197]

Same! A lot of the time the ADHD cancels out autism stuff (primarily special interests) causing imposter syndrome :( All my friends are neurodivergent though, NTs are weird :/

[@runakovacs4759]

My favourite humans are... ADHD-PI, ADHD-combined & comorbid autism. My friends are... all various forms of ADHD. I don't get along with neurotypicals. Closest to that is someone who lives in a country where they cannot get a dx and are unsure about self-dx.

[@misspatvandriverlady7555]

People can definitely be both! And ultimately, the question is, if you are struggling with some aspect of your life (or your whole freaking life), can you access resources to help your situation? I was diagnosed “ADD” almost 20 years ago. I’m still not officially diagnosed autistic, but I know I am! ❤️

[@_lil_lil]

Hey that's why I'm here. What's extra confusing is I ALSO have social anxiety due to being bullied (but it was due to poor impulse control in elementary/early middle school, I was not bullied and fairly well liked by lots of people in high school). What's annoying is on EVERY "autism quotient" or whatnot I've ever taken,I am always in the grey zone between "almost def autistic" and "you're almost definitely not autistic", it's always "you have some traits so maybe" including a psychiatrist administering the test one time, and all of that could possibly be attributed to anxiety or ADHD due to overlapping traits so I still have no idea 🙃🙃🙃

[@fatliward9815]

I think I am undiagnosed as well, I'm black so when I was a kid I had gotten beatings for stimming during class. I used to make animal noises and move around a lot and repeat songs that I heard. I was seen as being a class disruption and was regularly beat for it by my parents because they never tested me for being autistic. I was also very smart for my age as well, and I remember no matter where I went I was always bullied by students AND teachers. I never fit in I only remember having like 2 friends in elementary. By the time I got to 5th grade I was always masking because I was tired of being bullied for not fitting in. Now I unconsciously mask, it helped but I was still bullied but not as badly. When you're a black person who's autistic people tend to not care or not believe you and just think your being rude or disrespectful 😂

[@ngairejermaine824]

Hugs babe.

[@XxDibbsxX]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

[@lizrrdmama0392]

I hope you have people in your life that love and accept you for who you are.

[@bluebukkitdev8069]

Being bullied is often environmental. I was homeschooled and raised in a church environment, so was rarely ever exposed to bullies of any kind. I think I remember ever coming across like 3 of them, and only 1 was an issue and it wasn't for very long.

[@petalaregina8835]

I was bullied in the church

[@reinarosario1084]

Same, for the few years i went to public school i was just mostly ignored, or there was a kid or two wary of me because i had zero self awareness and did weird stuff

[@samara.morgan]

Naah, church people are usually the most cruel.

[@katew.9402]

Great video, thanks!

[@francescoleman-williams911]

Really really great video that helped me see “I absolutely am autistic”. I guess I just hope it’s not used against people who mask. “But your hobbies aren’t that intense” or “you don’t have problems transitioning”…. No, that’s because I don’t let you know how intense my hobby is or I don’t let you know how hard I find it to transition… that’s masking! Thanks for raising awareness, you explain things really well ❤

[@eenix0]

Yes! That's me and social interactions. Limited social interactions are easy for me because I specifically developed scripts from a young age and carefully monitored and researched how each script worked. Spent hours mimicking TV characters to adapt their phrases and inflections. It's just...absolutely exhausting. Once I'm out of social energy, I completely shut down and can no longer cope and have to leave immediately. Yay maskingggggg.

[@Jarrych83]

I'm a mental health counselor and have this type of conversation with a LOT of clients. Love seeing a video about it. Amazing how trauma, gender dysphoria, ADHD, social phobia, and more! all have overlapping traits. The point about human traits is a MUST for understanding the difference between these things and why snippet diagnosis videos are both good and bad.

[@annelbeab8124]

.... and when will the apparent be registered in the intellectualising part of psychology: there is something going on and just focusing on boxing in traits is only leading to new names for more boxes, but not explaining the phenomenon. If we would inquire into that, the so called neurodivergent would understand themselves better AND not get obsessed with being special. I'm happy to explain further.

[@SofieArts]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@annelbeab8124No thanks. If you think the only or primary reason for someone to create/use things like these labels/diagnoses/etc, which have helped so many people, is just to feel special, that says way more about you than them. They also very much do explain the phenomenon and that's why so many people are relieved by them. I wonder if you think the same about pride month and similar things..

[@tastyhaze2058]

A lot of the stuff you mentioned is extremely co-morbid. Lots of autistic folks with ADHD, and finding autistic people who aren't traumatized is basically impossible. Not to mention the fact that autistic people are more likely to be LGBTQ+ (although in my opinion the split is the same in NTs, autistics are just less likely to be cowards lmao). It's definitely good to be able to spot the differences though so we're not just sorting everyone into the same unhelpful box.

[@Jarrych83]

@@tastyhaze2058 you're absolutely right and it's why explanations of when they do and don't overlap are so important. And ideally why talking to someone who really knows their stuff for an accurate diagnosis is critical to just helping someone understand what's going on. I know there's obvious pros and cons to diagnosis and the medical system, for real.

[@ShintogaDeathAngel]

@@annelbeab8124 we're not obsessed with "being special." That's a misinterpretation on your part; I don't feel special for having had so many issues with socialising or not feeling like Hell while trying to hold down jobs. For a lot of us, this level of analysis is going to be part of trying to understand ourselves; it's not your place to tell us we're going about understanding ourselves wrongly.

[@adelacortes958]

❤ all your content!

[@SterlingSimmons22]

This video just further concreted my self diagnosis, not that I needed it, but it helps haha

[@aprillen]

I got my diagnosis at the age of 52, and it explained _so much_ . The fact that I was in my 20s when I started understanding how to make friends... but it took me another decade to learn how to _keep_ them. I still don't have many people that I consider real friends, and I don't have much of a social life IRL. Basically, I've spent most of my life trying to learn how to mask, without realising that it was what I was doing, and eventually got burned out. I am hyperlexic and have an above-average IQ, but never managed to get a higher education because ✨executive dysfunction✨. I once read a comment by (it must be assumed) a neurotypical person on the topic of autistic masking. They were saying that people are too wrapped up in their own lives and masking was unnecessary because other people actually don't pay much attention and wouldn't even notice other people's little flaws... They obviously didn't understand it at all. When a NT person puts on an act in front of others, it's too appear smarter and cooler than they are, so they can be a bit more popular. When autistic people mask, it's so they can fly under the radar and _not stand out_ . Because standing out and being noticed in 99% of the cases means being bullied and/or ostracised. And even when you put huge efforts into masking, people still notice. Because what we are masking aren't "flaws", but our otherness, those subtle or not so subtle differences that make people weirded out even when they can't put their finger on why. I'm like you in that I find rigid routines stifling and they make me feel trapped and anxious. But I still like to do things my own way, the same way, every time. Just not on schedule, hahaha. The one thing I'm still struggling to figure out is stimming. I've never done that in any "obviously autistic" way (no flapping or rocking etc). But I do and have done some other things that could be stimming, I just don't know if they are. Like sucking my thumb way past childhood (and I really do mean _way_ past childhood).

[@DarkVeghetta]

I agree with most of your post, except the part where you state that 99% of cases standing out leads to being ostracised or bullied. This might even be true in middle school (it certainly was for me), but once confidence and self-esteem are at sufficiently high levels, together with being physically imposing, I can state with some measure of certainty that this no longer is the case. To go more into detail, I specifically ENJOY standing out when I'm feeling extroverted (I'm an ambivert) because I've embraced my otherness decades ago (I'm 36) and am in many ways proud of it. This has directly led to my high school experience being fairly enjoyable (especially compared to the Hell that was middle school), even though I was as strange as ever, but I carried that weirdness with confidence and it mostly resulted in my people finding me interesting, engaging, and even a fair few girls finding me attractive (not that I realized this until years later). Granted, I will say that there still were a few that got rubbed the wrong way by my unusual opinions/mannerisms/likes/etc every now and then, but I became adept at quickly shutting them down before a social chain reaction could occur. I will note that since this was far more likely to come from other guys and because nearly all IRL male interactions during and past puberty are in some way underlined by an implicit understanding of the violence other men can do unto you if push comes to shove (and the impact this perception has on pecking order), it very much did help that I was larger and stronger than the vast majority of my peers and this meant that I only had to raise my voice or posture my body in a certain way to intimidate most into backing off, if verbal arguments didn't do the trick (I preferred verbal arguments, but some habitual delinquents just refused to leave me be, so I had to force them to do so). This maybe happened 5% of the time, which is a far cry from the 99% you've postulated (granted, it was far higher of a percentage in middle school). Furthermore, I don't mask because I want to hide myself, at least not since middle school. These days, it is simply a side effect of the skills I've studied for a very long time in order to intentionally be better at social interactions - it's basically a part of my perfectionism that I've internalized so much so as to be second nature, making it seem like I'm naturally gifted at socializing when, in reality, it's the exact opposite. All that said, I am Romanian and culture might play a larger role here than is usually assumed. Plus, your comment said nothing about context regarding that 99%, so I don't know if you meant it as a blanket statement for life in general (which was my assumption when I started this comment), the entirety of one's mandatory schooling, or if it was supposed to apply to relatively early social interactions in middle school (case in which I would agree with you, as it takes us time to learn the skills and gain the reputation necessary to prevent these issues). Regardless, I hope you have a pleasant evening. Tootles!

[@aprillen]

@@DarkVeghetta Maybe you're that 1%, then?

[@TheBaumcm]

@@DarkVeghettafor most people with autism, standing out/otherness illicits correction from adults which makes it fundamentally improbable to develop good self esteem.

[@TheBaumcm]

I really appreciate your mention of the level of effort required and how long it takes to develop those skills. Many diagnoses of adults, from anecdotal research, include people who have been just a little faster than others of the same diagnosis in accommodating their own issues, at identifying and problem solving. But that doesn’t mean that it takes any less effort to follow through with those strategies. It isn’t a matter of whether you can swim or not. It is how hard you have to swim and how many obstacles you encounter to get to the same point.

[@1983simi]

Oh Lord, your anecdote from the social interactions part. My mom keeps telling me this about my entire time up to when I was in elementary school. Whenever neighbor kids and friends from school were over to play I would play with them for a bit, but at some point I would literally either tell them 'You can go now.' or I would just split from the playing group and do something on my own completely ignoring the others. My mom would tell me she'd come to my room where 2-3 kids were playing some game or the other with each other and I would be in another corner self-absorded doing a puzzle or looking at my favorite book completely blending the others out. I always had friends, mind. And while most people would find me slightly dorky or weird I would always find people who'd like me too. But I'd just eventually tune out, literally. Bless my friends btw. for staying my friends regardless.

[@tubbygubbler]

as an adult, i've learned that i like spending time with 2 people at a time instead of just 1. that way, when i don't feel like speaking, i can just keep quiet to myself, and they can talk between themselves and have a good time still. it's been a good middle ground for me to prevent people from thinking i'm being rude! any more than 2 though and i start to freak out lol

[@queen-lilyorjiako268]

Wait... Are you... not supposed to do that? I mean, if you're bored of it, why can't you just leave. Is there a procedure to go through here?

[@tubbygubbler]

@@queen-lilyorjiako268 you can leave whenever you want. there is a procedure, yes, and it exists to soothe people's inner anxieties about why you abruptly whisked them away ("do they not like me? did i do something wrong?"). i think neurotypical people will usually make up an excuse that isn't true, like "well, i have a huge exam tomorrow, so i need to start studying. but i'll see you later!" and i've done that on occasion too. but you can also just be honest. "ok, my social battery is pretty much dead, i gotta go. i had fun! bye!" i do that all the time edit: if your reasoning is "i'm bored, i'm going to leave now" then i wouldn't say that out loud, namely because it will make the other person feel really bad about themselves. i mean, unless you want them to feel bad... which i guess some people do want sometimes

[@Shantari]

I didn't fully relate to the trait of rigid routines until I realized that it didn't have to be a daily schedule, but could just be a high specificity in how to do certain tasks. Thinking about it, I did have pretty rigid schedules as a child. I even wrote down my day with timepoints. But as an adult, my routines are more things like specific order to wash myself in, in what order I watch youtube clips in, etc. I have sorting mechanisms that make sense only to myself.

[@glaciusor]

I like how most of these points click with me, but are described in a different way than I would have put them. It also makes a few more things make sense to me, like stimming and how I've always done it, but transitioned to more socially acceptable stuff (chewing pens vs now rolling them in my fingers, playing with spring-loaded objects on my desk that push back, ...), and learning that having a cold sweet drink and music playing (with no or non-English lyrics) can scratch that itch and let me focus. Also monotropism... really explains a lot, very cleanly too. There's a good chance I'll be sharing this with my non-AS online friends so they can get a better understanding of... well, why I'm so "quirky".

[@abreeva9056]

sometimes i get so worried i’m like. pretending to be autistic. but then everyday i wake up and remember that i had lots of traits even from a young age, i just didn’t know what bullying was for a long time! i was often alone throughout my school years, got excluded from groups/dropped randomly and i never knew why, and i often drift away from certain people because i don’t know how to maintain those friendships/struggled to do so also! the speaking thing, haha, this is something i’ve learned about myself only recently. i have a very soft voice, and never realized i talked really quietly, and people can have trouble hearing me. i also tend to have an extremely flat face without even realizing, and can’t express much emotion in my voice (someone i knew thought i didn’t find them funny for the longest time, even though i did) sorry this is so long but i wanted to just talk about stimming too! i stim so much, like rubbing my hands together, pacing, rocking, leg bouncing, biting the inside of my mouth, verbal stims (i.e repeating a word at random), etc etc i’m so sorry i’m yapping but i’m just. i like talking about it the more i find out, i love your channel and it has been a major help

[@strawberryshortcake5505]

me too sometimes i get imposter syndrome then look back at my childhood and remember yeah i wasnt normal lol but idk if i've got autism or adhd 😭

[@nataliak1474]

It's me but with therapy. I worked on my issues, so I am thinking, if nobody can see it, then I am not autistic, right? Well...wish it was how it worked lol

[@strawberryshortcake5505]

@@nataliak1474 if no one can see it you're probably masking ❤️‍🩹

[@somethingforsenro]

@@strawberryshortcake5505 you can have both! you're actually more likely to have one if you have the other. editing to add on that one popular theory of autism is that it falls under the "add/adhd umbrella" and just is expressed in somewhat different ways

[@CorneliusFractogram]

Why are you so obsessed with having a label?

[@riv3rw4ter]

This actually brings up something I have thought about so much, second point, I have been constantly excluded and ostracised, but never bullied. Many people have said they didn't realise it was bullying, and I've wondered if that was the case for me, but I just keep coming back to how othered I felt, and how much I thought everyone hated me, and yet was never bullied. It continues to confuse me, especially since I would have been a pretty easy target, apart from probably not realising people were insulting me, which has happened.

[@Brooke_Corbyn]

Being othered* I think does count as a type of bullying, but actually not reacting to peoples insults can be a really good defense against being directly targetted. If people dont get a rise out of you they're less likely to latch onto being mean

[@riv3rw4ter]

@@Brooke_Corbyn good point, but it really does depend on the bullies. sometimes they're more likely to leave you alone, but also sometimes they're being needlessly cruel and will insult you and pick on you more for not being able to pick up on the insult, haven't experienced that firsthand yet but have heard many stories about that happening.

[@Brooke_Corbyn]

@@riv3rw4ter yeah for sure, it can really depend

[@M_SC]

That’s based on their parents being a certain way and bringing up their kids to be a certain way. I was raised to be polite and nice to everyone even if I didn’t like them. This was well ingrained by the time I could form memories. Bullying is actually an acquired ability, and a cultural practice. Some people might develop it naturally if not taught to be kind, others learn it from seeing it happen to others or themselves. Being ostracized can be on purpose and bullying but also it can be kids not knowing how to relate to you but knowing how to relate to each other, which makes a reinforcement cycle of exclusion. Only you can probably know which it was which time and only if you know about their lives.

[@Assaultwatertaffy]

I love your videos. They're very informative. I'm neurotypical myself (Psychologist told me I have "autistic traits" but I don't qualify for "level 1 autism") But a lot of my friends are and since some of them can't express themselves too well, I've enjoyed watching your videos.

[@SofieArts]

Mine also told me I just haveä "autistic traits" but I'm still not sure. I'm *definitely* neurodivergent tho, autism/ADHD or not. Anxiety and other stuff. It's all so complicated T-T