I HATE XENOS: THE GREAT CRUSADE [1] | Beginner to Expert Podcast

Today on the Beginner to Expert Podcast the Lorecrimes team discuss part 1 of the Great Crusade!
With Andy (‪@TheRemembrancer‬) and Hal (‪@TheAmberKing‬) explaining the overview of the campaign to unite Humanity, the LoreCrimes team will cover the expanse of the Astartes, conflicts across the stars and the rise and fall of the Imperium's Warmaster: Horus Lupercal.
#imperium #warhammer40k #warhammer #warhammer40k #40k
EDITED BY: Andy (‪@TheRemembrancer‬)
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Welcome to Lorecrimes! The collaboration channel of:
@The Amber King
/ theamberking
@Deadlifts for the Dark Gods
/ deadliftsforthedarkgods
@PancreasNoWork
/ @pancreasnowork9939
@The Remembrancer
/ theremembrancer
The home of the Beginner - Expert Podcast, 40k Pub Quiz and other content!
Theme music by White Bat Audio:
• Chill Synthwave - Digi...

[@djbeast2145]

Looking at the thumbnail what a wonderful father and son duo, I am so glad nothing bad happens to them

[@therudecanadian8068]

#imptruth Goge Vandire was secretly a Shiba Inu with a foot fetish but was redacted by the Inquisition for unknown reasons

[@princesseponyboy1971]

#ImpTruth The Word bearers had intelligence indicating that Guilliman and his ultramarines had weapons of mass destruction hidden on Calth, and they acted accordingly

[@djbeast2145]

#imptruth The orcs are the best race in 40k since they have conquered the galaxy's greatest curse of male pattern baldness with hair and beard squigs, all the other races are in a perpetual state of cope seethe and mald

[@thewerdna]

#imptruth the 2ed and 11th primarchs were not erased, the Emperor just forgot to pick them up from daycare and is too embarrassed to admit his mistake. They are still there to this day

[@Rukdug]

#ImpTruth Even if the Emperor hadn't truly been a god before the Great Crusade, the instant he let the Mechanicus keep their faith in the Omnissiah he ensured he would become one based on how the Warp works.

[@Scowleasy]

#imptruth The Emperor could reincarnate if he wanted but then he’d be forced to worship himself

[@The_BlackTemplar]

#imptruth if the Khan returned to the setting he'd be the happiest Primarch, just him and his boys on their bikes killing everything

[@meckert210]

Any other cast member: *makes sex joke* Hal: Ohhhh you foul, foul man! Also Hal: *immediately makes dick joke*

[@verigone2677]

Rogal Dorn's hand has been slowly forming the gesture of gestures slowly since the eruption of the Cicatrix Maledictum, upon reaching fully erect middle finger the rest of him will materialize holding the head and spine of Perterabo in his other hand #ImpTruth

[@thewerdna]

Another #ImpTruth idea: the watchers on Lion's model are named "Milk" and "Cigarettes", as Lion finally returned to his sons with them.

[@luigisuper4143]

#ImpTruth The Realms of Chaos should be the same in every Warhammer setting, so since the Great Horned Rat's ascensing in AOS the Skaven are already canon to 40k.

[@robertbryce3225]

#imptruth The Necromtyr looked like ewoks, and the Old Ones were furries. Clearly the C'Tan had to shave them for victory to be assured!

[@SaintNamedSlickback]

#ImpTruth the only reason The Emperor was able to recruit the mechanicum of mars into the imperium was because he brought them a fully charged iphone 5 with flappy bird still installed

[@Predator20357]

The Great Crusade, also known as “Father finally returns with the milk before taking his estranged sons on the worst field trip across the Galaxy”

[@andybkhound]

#imptruth The Golden Throne used to be the VIP lapdance chair in the famous strip club named The Golden Ishaussy in the elder webway. Residual glitter from Isha is keeping Emps alive. The singing (dying) psykers are just entertainment

[@shadowpixel9623]

#imptruth the webway project would have solely been used to deliver pizza

[@MLCrisis1790]

#imptruth Big Emps had grown out of his redditor atheist phase by the time of Monarchia, he just really disliked Lorgar.

[@anshumanbose5132]

#Imptruth the entire Imperium and all the craftworlds know that Gulliman and Yvraine are doing it on the regular, but they just refuse to talk about it

[@Scowleasy]

#imptruth Being the guy that wrote a 2,000 word guide on which xenos are edible and how to cook them, the rankings go: water caste T’au (similar to sirloin) Eldar (eaten like sushi/sashimi) Ork (cook *very* thoroughly) Tyranids/Necrons (don’t)

[@PolarRed]

Surely Kroot would be #1? Just like chicken but with a lot more memories. And as for Orks, I guess if you can spot the poisonous ones the rest are ok.

[@Scowleasy]

Even single ork cells start acting like spores, so you gotta be extra careful. Kroot heavily depends on what they eat, though you could definitely get some good results

[@SamueL-td7fb]

#ImpTruth when Horus was stabbed and about to leave this world, the Luna Wolves were not afraid of pushing and even stepping on civilians, such was his desperation that they used his sick Primarch's bald shiny head as a battering ram

[@kingleech16]

This reminds me of The Death of Stalin. 😂

[@earltheartist3697]

27:40 thanks for featuring my art in your discussion very fun hearing you guys talk about it. 53:15 is the garviel loken I drew a few weeks ago very proud of this. 1:34:37 this was done by my artist friend oscar obando just to let people know

[@lorecrimes]

Thanks for commenting @earltheartist3697! Amazing artistry 💪

[@earltheartist3697]

@@lorecrimes you’re welcome! I enjoy your talks the goofy moments shine and yet it makes sense which makes it all the more entertaining

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

Dude that art is great. You should offer it to other shows.

[@halomasta21]

#ImpTruth the Emperor only banned psyker powers because he didn't want any of his sons psychically sneaking into his closet to see all the Slannesh smut he had hidden in there.

[@Twinsidedsoldier]

#ImpTruth Trazyn definitely has a jar of each primach's geneseed. Including #2 and #11.

[@alexbrown7708]

Does he also have a replica of Nurgle's jar with Isha in it?

[@akumaking1]

Here’s a video idea: Invite Weshammer for an episode where he quizzes you in Trazyn the Infinite and the crap he’s stuffed into his vaults.

[@irishwristwatch2487]

#ImpTruth Every single thing in 40k is named via the "Arkhan Land/Land Raider" convention but it extends to everything. Bolter was useless until Cassius Trigger and Quintus Mechanism got together and put the final brushstroke on

[@DoubtkeyApartments]

Looking forward to this one as someone who hasn't really touched the marines Although, gotta admit: I initially thought the title was "The Great Game" and was going to be an entire episode devoted to conflicts between the Chaos Gods - and I was so excited to hear about the Nurgling whoopie-cushion

[@theaussie8349]

#imptruth the Lectitio Divinitatus doesn’t actually say the Emperor is a God, but the Ecclesiarchy couldn’t read High Gothic so they just made shit up and people went along with it

[@notribadsvault]

43:50 G-man also left 2 chairs for them when he built a table for all the primarchs that he hoped they could all sit at after the great crusade. I believe they already been lost at that point.

[@thewerdna]

How come the Emperor didn't realize Horus would betray him when his name was Horus Heresy

[@evanajames531]

I can’t believe no one made a craft world/Kraft cheese joke.

[@EddyOfTheMaelstrom]

Cato stomping a Tau child makes me want to paint an entire 3000 pt Ultramarine army.

[@camdencolton6192]

So Im reading the first few hh novels rn and in there it mentions that horus was found when he was still like a young boy so he probably was just coaxed/raised to believe that what big E was doing was right 26:33

[@princesseponyboy1971]

That was the most concise and compacted beginner section ever, it was like 10 minutes. Talk about efficient

[@aguspuig6615]

31:00 sir the eldar child was definetly of legal age, thats why i burned it with my flamer

[@myself2noone]

#impTruth Growing up in a stable two parent household is very important.

[@nerdyvids1]

#ImpTruth The emperor didn’t plan shit, he just did all this by the seat of his pants and acted like he had a galaxy brain master plan the entire time.

[@notribadsvault]

I love how the Ulanor campaign had less combatants than WW1, especially when it’s against the Orks (a race entirely composed of combatants) on their homeworld

[@ironduke5058]

I like to think it's because that was just the battle and Astartes were involved. If you took all the other planets into account you'd probably get a more reasonable number.

[@micho_3715]

“I HATE XENOS” amen brother. amen.

[@thomastempleman2029]

#imptruth the sisters of silence are all blanks because they’re the emperor’s concubines and his “raw psychic potential” unleashed would destroy an unprotected mind (Big daddy E loves facials)

[@lucast.1259]

#Imptruth At day one in the Guard: Wipe you buttcheeks with the the Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer after a big dump. It greatly increases your chances of surviving your first deployement.

[@YellowHornet42]

#ImpTruth Things like the Promethuem Cult and the Space Wolves own special beliefs are more interesting than the widely practiced worship of the Emperor. They add some good flavor to the setting and the Salamanders special practices and ceremonies in particular are pretty neat. Basically when certain legions/chapters have their own spin or flavor on worship or cultural practices.

[@dollarsignmexican]

#Imptruth The emperor is actually Bill Nye the science guy, because "science rules."

[@Sonderer_Wonderer]

14:30 The fact that nobody said Horace enjoyed Sliced American Yellow Cheese is very sad to me. Only the greatest of Heretics would enjoy that monstrosity.

[@aarovit4257]

#ImpTruth There is two kinds of Warhammer fans those who are Sister of Battle simps and those who are Eldar simps

[@SpearoChris]

Stocked! Love your guys content. Really helps me during my hour commute to work and home!

[@mistertaz94]

#ImpTruth The real reason the Horus Heresy occured was because the Emperor refused to divulge the secret KFC spice mix to Horus to feed the Sons of Horus with the finest of meals.

[@DCJMS]

calling Horus a crime lord clears up a lot of his personality to me

[@WilhelmScreamer]

Arbiter Iam makes a compelling argument that one of the lost primarchs was enthralled by those slaving aliens

[@ryantannar5301]

Even Big E agreed the Lion would have been a better warmaster. tl;dr of the conversation: Lion: We both know I would be a better warmaster Emps: Yup, you're right but your brothers all need to feel rewarded but you are more like me. You understand that a job well done is the only reward that matters. The Lion was the most trusted Primarch. His legion was given weapons deemed too dangerous to even let the Mechanicus know about. The Dark Angels were sent in to do black ops crap like wiping out a xenos species so hard that knowledge of them is lost forever. The Lion is stated to be the most like the Emperor.

[@alexbrown7708]

Small detail the diplomatic failure with the Interex is what convinces Horus to formalize the emperors suggestion to rename the Luna Wolves to the Sons of Horus.

[@Channel-23s]

50:39 pretty sure Uilnor/Armageddon was important but also was a distraction while the Lion and Dark Angels were fighting a bigger Xeno threat aka the Krave who can live for basically hundreds of thousands of years or more so immortal and the Lion killed there leader while using Dark age technology and slave AI and the whole home world

[@chameleonyogastudio3754]

#imptruth they say the space marines junk doesn't work to make them more relatable to warhammer fans

[@Balrog4242]

LOLOLOL "Space Joe Rogan" ...now I can't not see it - that's Horus' new name forever:D

[@Ratman36]

What the emperor fix is a IKEA table

[@jamesgallagher4304]

#ImpTruth The Adeptus Copestartes loses more battles than the Astra Militarum

[@raohkenoh7555]

Mind Science!

[@EddyOfTheMaelstrom]

#ImpTruth Magnus did everything wrong and the Eldar Child deserved it.

[@sokratikas]

#ImpTruth Thunder warriors are the single most ovverated sub faction in the setting,and i am tired of pretending they ain’t

[@Channel-23s]

6 more videos and this channel will have its 100th video

[@Jenksz]

legends as always

[@harryballantyne398]

#imptruth the Emperor really isn't that good of a geneticist, at least half of his sons came out with serious personality flaws and he never figured out how to make a daughter

[@dollarsignmexican]

Nah man, girls are icky.

[@verigone2677]

The Dark Angles are going to find Russ on a Slaaneshi furry world and the Lion is going to have to kick his ass again to snap him out of it. #ImpTruth

[@irishwristwatch2487]

No luck catchin them Fallen, then?

[@verigone2677]

@@irishwristwatch2487 oh that's old news, he already found all the good uns and made them Risen...lol

[@polkka7797]

I’m m talking to the void, but If you want a good Roman comparison to the best setup for warmaster, you have the dictator who’s word is law under the republic, and then you have the master of horse who’s the guy under him who enforced that law. But pancreas’s comment about the consuls isn’t entirely wrong but both were expected to lead armies if needed. The best I could find that exactly fits his bill was a in the year of the 6 emperors where pupainus and balbinus lead the armies and the politics in the time together. Both hated each other though and were basically killed for it.

[@TemplarWarden]

Just gotta say, the Drukhari are probably the only ones who are going to make themselves, uhh... size compatible with a Primarch.

[@Brutalyte616]

Funnily enough, pre-Slaanesh Fulgrim states that he had been in several political marriages, and that he felt like he may have even fallen in love with some of his wives, but eventually he realized that he would outlive all of his mortal lovers and he was glad to have left Chemos to join the Great Crusade, because it reaffirmed that he was right to think he could never be a husband or a father in the conventional sense. This implies Fulgrim had human lovers who survived long enough to grow old, but also that the Primarchs are probably sterile and can't have children, or that their biology is so radically different from a baseline human that their genes aren't compatible.

[@kylarstern17]

​@@Brutalyte616or only Fulgrim specifically is impotent, hence the falling to Slaanesh

[@Brutalyte616]

@@kylarstern17 Okay,then show me who among the other Primarchs had kids.

[@kylarstern17]

@@Brutalyte616 can't even make a joke at Fulgrim's expense. Though as far as I know the Primarchs didn't really try having childten. Maybe the redacted ones did and were punished for it.

[@legiontepes3474]

I'm of the Remembrancer`s chapter! Glory to his Legion.

[@nikolaidetrick7593]

Pancreas as a cameo in one of Hal's videos when?!

[@Dearth_Vader]

My primarch still hunts among the stars

[@AgentHurley]

Ooooooh this is gonna be good

[@AgentHurley]

I wasnt wrong, it was good

[@anshumanbose5132]

#ICATIOSICARIUS I just wanna add that the tau woman then tried to pull a plasma pistol on the marine. She would have killed him of cato hadn't blown her up.

[@neon-lf-graves]

#ImpTruth Bretonia has a middle Class

[@raw6668]

#ImpTruth Everyone should have betrayed the Emperor. The Emperor Webway project was so he could get cheap Eldar prostitutes before he blew it up as a reality bomb because he played too many Stellaris games and thought humanity was more kick-ass as Chaos Gods than making the Federation from Star Trek. One side note: Seriously, I know Stellaris was originally a rip-off from Warhammer 40K, but 40K did not need to rip off from Stellaris. The Trynids went from sounding it and neighboring galaxies to running from a threat, which is probably due to the writers from GW playing Stellaris too much.

[@kingleech16]

I’m still waiting for the answer on the Horus Cheese Question… 😞

[@eichler721]

Lion as Warmaster, Guilliman as administrator, Sanguinius as diplomat and figure head. With the Emperor there to mediate any issues it's the best option.

[@soulsava8456]

Hippity hopity your skulls are Kharns property unless you make a lore video for him! Ask erebussy if you need more convincing

[@ThijsSchrijnemakers]

thanks

[@Lemonrust811]

#imptruth Colin won't read the HH cause he'll like the SW after finishing it

[@Fyrwulf]

The Rainbow Warriors aren't Aztec themed, that's fanon. If anything, since it refers to an apocraphyl Navajo myth, they should be Navajo themed. The Aztec themed chapter are the Obsidian Jaguars.

[@thehursk1935]

Ceo, coo, cfo and the board kinda should how it was ran just as a military

[@AgentHurley]

#ImpTruth the Emperor did make female space marines but that genetically enhanced adeptus astartussy was too good so he got rid of them.

[@thewerdna]

This actually reminds me of a meme that was like "the Emperor didn't make female primarchs because he knew people wouldn't be able to control themselves with 12-foot tall buff mommies around"... which... guilty as charged.

[@scythe1234hotmail]

Based and CatoPilled.

[@ryan_the_rizza2571]

#ImpTruth we could totally wipe you out if we wanted to, *pouts and kicks dirt*, we’re just busy

[@kriegsmanalpharius]

#imptruth everyone is jealous that rowboat girlyman has yvraine

[@petra4385]

The great crusade is neat but I will complain about a scaling thing because I have no joke at the moment. The entire "Angron will die in a killzone made by the Space wolves" is the most bullshit thing I've heard. Due to 1.Lorgar a weaker primarch taking a fatal blow from a titan's weapon and surviving, mind you a singular shot by a warhound titan will outdamage a few dozen bolters shooting at someone, 2. Eldrad scaling and his entire "quench stars" thing 3. Ferrus Manus beating the shit of what is definetly some ultra necron weapon that would outcompete a few dozen bolters in a killzone and is possibly a fucking C'tan shard which is something that lives a fucking exterminatus and if we look at a transcendent C'tan shard comprised of half a dozen regular shards in the infinite and the divine it casually wips away 6 planets putting it at dwarf star to star level depending on how hard it blew those 6 planets up. So even 1/6th would outcompete that. Mind you this is Ferrus Manus BEFORE getting armor tech and may or may not be fully grown It can be explained by no one knowing what it takes to kill a primarch at the time besides the Big E and Malcador who didn't comment as even Leman Russ was surprised Magnus could be broken as hard as he was during the burning of prospero

[@Nervete]

I think the type of damage matters just as much as the amount. Yeah some primarchs can tank huge blasts and big rounds, but if a primarch loses his head (or takes several bolter rounds through it) he is VERY unlikely to survive. The killzone of space wolves was a rare instance of good strategy being a factor in primarch combat, and even Lorgar calls the move tactically sound.

[@k92ful]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON'T CARE ABOUT CHEESE? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND M8?)

[@kirksabio2382]

Shit its the beginning of the HoRizz heresy

[@Thundrfox]

#IMPTRUTH the old ones were entirely justified in not curing the necrontyr considering they were a xenocidal expansionist empire that would have entirely corrupted the warp.

[@jefrosiers8880]

#ImpTruth we are all of us Alpharius, this is a lie

[@alexbrown7708]

31:40 I think she was a child soldier to be ...,. fair? Yeah now that I'm typing it it doesn't sound much better. I think he felt guilty about it which is saying a lot given the Imperium's view of xenos. Also why no picture of Vulcan?

[@jamieenoshima5147]

No there was only like ten of them ruling over a human colony. Vulkan previously exterminatused a entire human world because they worshipped exodites only to discover the humans sacrificing a DE Wych. Basically he'd removed the exodites now the DE can raid the world again. And that was enough for him to wipe the humans out as lost. An extreme over exaggeration he just really hates Eldar.

[@jamieenoshima5147]

He did shortly learn they're not all DE after this. But yeah he had a really unhealthy fear of Eldar to the point a entire human world should die rather than face them.

[@wonttakemein272]

#imptruth serviters are shown family guy clips with subway surfers to keep them busy while they work.

[@jamesmckenna4460]

LMFAO they don't get Horus to Davin by crane!! They DO coffin dance him to the ship, and the rabble that they have to literally beat and bludgeon their way through causes a massive scandal that needs to be covered up! I'm listening to the book now and that you skip over this detail is a bit funny to me

[@wiggy5209]

Okay ...so when it came to mutations further afield ...Ie full on demons or chaos cults that the imperium didn't understand at the time ..they say it as just another weird type of xenos ...

[@leodhasw-s3739]

-Religion -What?!? -Nothing Lost it 😂

[@theconscript341]

sigmar is the 11th primarchs

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

The Emperor's True Name is Michael Morbius #ImpTruth

[@thehursk1935]

#imptruth the emperor of man is a super advanced ai from the dark age of tech

[@grimb8kn748]

#imptruth the 2nd and 11th primarch were destroyed because they discovered early development Tau and got busy with the ladies - birthing the memes.

[@ghannos9869]

#Imptruth Big E knew he would somehow lose whoever he chose for Warmaster, so he sacrificed Horus so that he may keep The Lion.

[@lobotlando]

I had this idea a while ago. What if the emperor had created a collage or a triumvirate of three primarchs, instead of a warmaster.

[@LPDK123]

#ImpTruth Ferrus Manus and Konrad Curze might have died virgins