I HATED This Shark Film for ONE Reason

[@spoopyd.8910]

Shitty shark movies have a special place in my heart. It's clogging my arteries. Please send help

[@treyrex5987]

It's too late for you, man. Just embrace it. 😈

[@madduxbosko6433]

Producer: Do you think anyone will notice we just ripped off Crawl? Director: Of course not.

[@Spyro757]

Is crawl good

[@melloschocolatecake]

@@Spyro757 It's entertaining to say the least. Better than this movie. Worth a try if it's avaliable to stream for free somewhere

[@itsjupiter2440]

@@Spyro757 yes very

[@kims.7635]

I *almost* watched this movie, out of sheer boredom and morbid fascination. Thanks to your sacrifice, Alteori, I can now be grateful I still retain that portion of time I would’ve otherwise never gotten back. You’re a true hero XD

[@Alteori]

Well it was one hell of a sacrifice so enjoy the mental peace you have. 😆

[@MarvinPowell1]

@@Alteori Jennifer Field _is_ a long-time actress who has been in the industry since 2005! Field's best role was as Pussy Maureen in _Dreaming Hollywood._ Her favorite Pokémon is Nidorina!

[@justinhammer3196]

That dorsal fin shadow at the beginning tho... I'd buy that for a dollar! And I'd be over paying.

[@Alteori]

😂💀

[@paulbecket7399]

it's especially good when the mother looks like she's the same age as her "kids"

[@blueroseofpurity9691]

I love watching these B rated movies for entertainment purposes. They are so freaking hilarious!!

[@TheGravityShifter]

Okay, horse eating baby chick clip was totally something I didn't need on my conscience before bed. I thought it was a joke...but no... I just watched it cut to a horse eating a baby chick. Another thing I can add to the "Things I involuntarily got scarred by on KZbin" list.

[@stormwolf5848]

me too, man...

[@TheGravityShifter]

@@stormwolf5848 Ye. Usually when I see stuff like this, it's normally out of morbid curiosity. It's definitely more shocking when it comes looking for you.

[@lordkarasu2263]

Yup, well want more nightmare fuel? Cows eat snakes horses eats chicks hippos eat each other and crocodiles, not often but yeah.

[@TheGravityShifter]

@@lordkarasu2263 Since I'm only reading it, it doesn't really bother me. Speaking of Reptiles though, I've seen a clip an Alligator surprise attack a Cheetah, and the Cheetah lost. And there was a monkey that got surrounded by either a bunch of Jaguars, Lions, or Cheetash (can't remember) but the Monkey lost. It's just the thought of seeing a baby being eaten. Saw a cat take a baby rabbit I tried to rescue along with being stupid enough to watch Seagulls go for Ducklings on KZbin and was hoping that would be the last I'd see a baby animal go through that.

[@lukeari9890]

Yeah I don't know why she thought it was okay to just cut to that without any kind of warning. I know full well if she watched a video where a puppy was murdered without any kind of warning she'd be upset by it.

[@wolveraspeaks]

Sammy embodies the entire media industry with his most famous line. "When will you learn? When Will You Learn?! THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!?!" 🤣

[@damianstarks3338]

Keep these videos coming they are both hilarious and true.

[@OrangeHatReviews]

The amount of Rage I am sensing from you, I am wondering why a Red Ring of Rage hasn't flown into your home yet. lol

[@antonioarreola3097]

The ring itself is afraid of the consequences.

[@mrpaakman]

As time goes on, you've become more cynical but in a good way 😂 I feel like you, Possum, and Critical Drinker need to form a League of Movie Review together. A teamup for the ages

[@Alteori]

These films have corrupted me LOL

[@dream6562]

I looked up that character alteori got triggered on, she is indeed an actress and also a producer

[@katanamoon536]

Did she work on the new Velma?

[@dream6562]

@@katanamoon536 no

[@nooneofimportance2110]

Actress or "Actress👉👌" (nudge, nudge, wink wink)

[@dream6562]

@@nooneofimportance2110 1st one

[@nooneofimportance2110]

@@dream6562 😶Really? I would have thought at best maybe a casting couch master who "worked" her way up. Seriously, I have seen better acting in B-movie exploitation films from 30 years ago. That goes for most of the male cast too.

[@CruelestChris]

I feel part of the black guy dying first is that the black guy is often also the Big Jolly Guy, and especially in war movies characters die in descending order of cheerfulness as it is necessary to show it is Serious Business. We call this the Goose Law.

[@andreasdimopoulos5826]

I swear to god nearly all the time I barely can even understand what this wide mouthed impostor of a mom was even saying to even cringe about the dialogue but instead simply her existence seemed more than enough to make me cringe

[@cjkalandek996]

Also, one reviewer on IMDB said the actress who plays the mom looks not only miscast but "mis-aged". Like, she looks too young to be the mother of two kids who are in their late teens or early 20's. I'd believe it more if she's their stepmother.

[@creaturetransylvania8943]

​@@cjkalandek996 It's certainly not the norm but it's not impossible. I'm saying this as someone who's in their early 20s & gets mistaken as my mom's husband or brother. My mom just turned 40 last month.

[@hibouowll7468]

Let's take a moment to thank our Lady in review Alteori to look these movies and lose sanity each and every time so we can keep our. Alteori... thank you so much.

[@Alondro77]

14:05 That horse just ate a chick... someone should show this to PETA and watch their brains melt down. >:D

[@marclaurence6061]

The horse eating the brain dead chicken's chick analogy had me laughing my ass off 🫠😂😂 Also loved it everytime she says water in British 💀

[@stevewright9779]

When you realise the Cylons on classic BSG (78) had far better vocal and emotional range than these tools.....

[@violenceandpoetry]

And the centurions would have probably made smarter choices in this movie...

[@Alondro77]

When you realize classic BSG (78) had better effects than something made in the 2000's...

[@violenceandpoetry]

@@Alondro77 If memory serves, it was the most expensive show per episode at the time. They spent a fortune on the practical effects in that show, and it holds up beautifully.

[@stevewright9779]

@@Alondro77 I would say there are some B-movies from the 1950's that are putting this to shame...

[@stevewright9779]

@@violenceandpoetry Ya, the pilot/movie alone was $7 - 14 million (depending on scource).

[@littlewhiterabbit202]

Why dose it look like these actors and actresses were shown ‘The Room’ and we’re told that this was their inspiration.

[@MrPGC137]

I gotta be honest, I completely lost it at the 24:20 point & had to pause the video to recover I was laughing so hard! (Honestly, my sides were hurting!)

[@Alteori]

😂

[@Alondro77]

16:45 I got a worse wound from falling off my bike and slamming my knee into the edge of a pothole.

[@richardgilligan4770]

Thank u Alteori for making great and wonderful day with your Content u are awesome!😃

[@Alteori]

You too! 😅

[@kabob0077]

9:34 It'd be hilarious if it's also a SharkBite valve. Yes, that's an actual brand before anyone asks.

[@JustADemon2023]

About five months ago, I tried watching this movie. I originally got Tubi due to it being free and for having movies I’ve heard of, but hadn’t seen before. I then found out that Tubi had created its own original movies and at first, that caught my interest. After watching Swim for about five minutes, I automatically stopped due to the crappy animated shark and the horrible acting. I’m glad I stopped watching because I couldn’t see myself not getting angered and annoyed if I continued any further. Due to this experience, I don’t think I’ll be watching any of Tubi’s original content anymore if they’re all this bad. You’re honestly a stronger person than I am for watching this way passed the five minute mark and I thank you for your honorable sacrifice.

[@JustAWiddleSpider]

25:43 Thank you! 😂

[@enjolireyes643]

I think this is angriest I have heard you speak during a ‘movie’ review! But I can’t help but die laughing at the frustration.

[@Nycta_Gaming]

Alteori: did he just fake laugh me: yes Alteori: did he just feign laughter me: yes Alteori: did he just pretend to kek me: Yes! Alteori: did he fake a chuckle Me: yes! Alteori: did he admit a counterfeit giggle me: YES Alteori: did he just produce a fake titer me: YES! this comment is not a insult it was just funny how many times you said that he faked a laugh lmao

[@josetapia9714]

Beloved Tubers, we are gathered to pay our respects to our dear and departed friend, Alteori. Who decided to be a homie with us and voluntary sacrificed herself on our behalf and watched this dumpster fire, from beginning to end, so we wouldn't do it. Press F to pay your respects.

[@nooneofimportance2110]

Thank you for enduring this for us. Just listening to the dialog from the movie in this review, is making my head hurt. I think I just stick with 80's B-movies for now, because at least they have redeeming qualities.

[@FurryJedathStudio]

"Wodar... wotah.... why can I say water?... there I just say it.... wotah... " xD you gotta love this girl, even when she is mad she is adorable

[@jafengaming]

a few days ago i watched a shark movie called man eater, and it was really bad. i kid you not, it used the same stock clip of a shark swimming, then turning for almost every time it was on screen. even using it multiple times in a row.

[@TheGalacticWest]

I was routing for the plumber for all 5 seconds. I care about no one else.

[@Allan_aka_RocKITEman]

At 02:37 in this video: He _VAGUELY_ reminds me of actor Jim Varney. At 04:33: The guy on the right vaguely reminds me of actor Roy Scheider, who acted in *JAWS* and *JAWS II.*

[@Captain.AmericaV1]

Your narration is more entertaining than the film.

[@Jfreek5050]

This dialogue in this film feels like how you would expect an AI speech robot to speak.

[@EvilExcalibur]

This review is better entertainment than this movie. Also the commentary had me rolling!

[@Goddessvenom]

I hit the floor laughing at “his face looks like a ball ping hammer” 😂🤣 That was so random!

[@miceltusav88]

Yay, Alteori uploads! And this time I'm not just early, but able to watch!

[@Rhodophon]

14:29 They directed the sister character with maximum bounce in mind. This movie knows what it is.

[@bluevoid5171]

Omg! The clip you showed of the horse eating the baby chick! I died 🤣 like wtf, why would a horse do that! 😂 I raise chickens and I go all mamma hen on my cats if they get near them or even look in there direction. That poor baby chick dude! Omg 😂

[@derdingsreturnsnochmal5177]

Because it can. Simple as that.

[@gypsylee333]

Nature is metal that way... 😂

[@ABtheButterfly]

maybe the mom is actually the stepmom cause the actress who plays her is half Korean and I know people who are mixed race can look many ways I honestly do not think the kids are 25% Korean, or she is their bio mom and the kids 75% European side is way more dominant than their 25% Korean side

[@lygonthereddragon]

wow. this movie make sharknado a freaking Oscar winner

[@sirpubert8728]

How much does one have to pay just to get to see your brain melt in person.... I felt like I was the only one who got heated at films like this.. LOL my fav video so far btw

[@Alteori]

Oh these movies physically make me shake. I know they shouldn't but they do 😂 I have a whole playlist on them. Pretty sure my brain is melted because I have a wicked headache after only getting 4 hours of sleep after editing that video. 😆

[@sirpubert8728]

@@Alteori I felt like the Star Wars meme of the Emperor "Good... Good... Let the hate flow through you." the neck head thing made me lose it... lol

[@cheyblake2475]

17:29-17:40, I guess she was trying to calm her daughter down during the situation, but yeah, unimportant

[@Alteori]

The mom was the only one who was freaking out the most

[@toddtaylor6506]

Thank you, your commentary on this movie was the funniest thing I've seen on KZbin in weeks, lol.

[@Leispada]

horses eat chicken too?!?! my life is a lie 😭 this is definitely nearly up there with the Pelican gobbling up a pigeon in terms of shock

[@ry_jayy]

2:01 That "I don't need any help" sounds like the exact same voice as the dad character in Ryan's Babe

[@devilak74]

I almost clicked off the video the second time hearing the read dress chicks voice....props to you, Alt!!!

[@linthitmyo8969]

That one CGI fin at the start make me laugh. Like they couldn't make a fake foam fin for a shark.

[@theknightspalace]

Lol must admit these shark movies are insane

[@AlbertusMagnus_44]

You do realize, I presume, that the practice of “walking out of the theater” was created precisely for movies like this one. When streaming, the remote control serves the same function. Even your fox was cringing with this film. But your review had me laughing from start to finish! I thank you for your suffering so I don’t have to! 🍸😎

[@pascaleelliott63]

These actors would make their acting coach Tommy Wiseau proud.

[@miloofcroton1069]

I wasted 10 hours on this movie 30 minutes of disappointment 9 1/2 hours trying to get it

[@tobiasedwards2643]

How did you get so good at doing a British accent? I learned it by watching British KZbinrs.

[@Spyro757]

7:59 movie name and is it good ?

[@Alteori]

Lol Piranaconda and it's a really dumb movie but better than this one.... I mean..... Maybe better is not the word

[@MrKodachii]

Ive missed your B rated movie rages, its like there was something missing. Then I saw this video...and there it was... ahhh yes. Rage on shadow wolf/fox lady...rage on.

[@TIMWReigo]

Since I’m very picky when it comes to the shark genre…this video was enough. This review was enough to show me to not sit through it. You watched this movie so we don’t have to (and I’m a big time b-movie fan but shark movies…maybe only 15%)

[@MarvinPowell1]

_"Chop off my t*ts and stuff them with rice; this woman is going to make me piss my ass off its hinges..."_ Alteori has t*ts 😕⁉️ But yeah, the fact that she was too angry to even do an outro was the funnest thing I've ever seen on this channel! Oh my god! 🤣This movie wasn't even THAT bad and she's legit angry! 😂

[@Alteori]

I WAS LOL

[@darcsteel]

🤣🤣🤣Yo I was not ready for the horse eating the chick

[@Brendito1]

When he said “I don’t need it” it reminded me of Chris Chan saying “I’m workin on it!” (My mom has brown eyes, none of her 4 kids have them hehehe, all blue, coincidence!)

[@the98themperoroftheholybri33]

Is it "war-tuh" or "wad-dah"?

[@Alondro77]

*sees absolutely awful fake shark fin shadow* Wut... that... that's even worse than Ed Wood effects!

[@joshuaded1052]

Would you ever review primeval

[@robertheller4583]

honestly. I'm surprised the shark wasn't a cardboard fin on a stick

[@erikbihari3625]

Gotta go fast, adds are pest, never leave me any rest!

[@nathanrood865]

Yes, gooooood! Let the hate flow through you!

[@scottwild44]

Everyone keeps bringing up Crawl. What, you never saw Bait (2012)? The plot: A freak tsunami traps shoppers at a coastal Australian supermarket inside the building - along with 12-foot Great White Sharks. How "original," a storm traps a group of people in a secluded area where they fall prey to an apex predator.

[@joshuakanapkey6570]

Wow, I've seen a lot of your reviews, and I don't recall any unfinished! 😅😂 I've never watched this movie - and I watch a LOT of BAAAAD movies, on purpose - but I was enjoying your reactions! Oh, well! Try "Ouija Shark", but DO NOT watch "Sharks of the Corn".

[@CinnamonGrrlErin1]

This looks like perfect Rifftrax material at least. If they can make Sharknado and Birdemic entertaining, this should be a piece of cake. Stupid, goofy cake.

[@curtismorgan613]

When are you going to do Human Centipede 3??? The original actor comes back, and the guy from #2 is in it as well. The Doctor is now the warden at a prison... Hope you get around to it soon, thanks for watching the second one so we don't have to. That looked REALLY BAD If your soul still isn't dead after that you should look up; The Greasy Strangler ;)

[@Shiirow]

at the two minute mark, is she supposed to be his mom or sister or some other sort of relation (based on the grandpa comment) and not his girlfriend. that awkward lean in and dreamy look in her eyes made me think for a second that sweet home alabama was going to start playing if they were supposed to be related.

[@Sivick314]

i'm here for the graphic description of hot drinks

[@mortaltemplar]

Not that I am pushing alcoholism, but maybe if you sauced up way in advance to watching it? Also: maybe a review of a good movie, like Pacific Rim? "cleanse the tastebuds?"

[@renesalinas1029]

Hi Alteori! 😊😊😊😊

[@Alteori]

Hey Rene!! :D

[@FatRhaenyraTargaryen]

Discount William H Macy!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️❣️

[@Alteori]

💀

[@pascaldossenbach1821]

From what is the girl saying "what the fuck" at around 24:03?

[@ABtheButterfly]

I'll be honest I hate "sharks are evil mindless eating machines" movies, I really do cause I love sharks and I know they are dangerous but movies make them out to be way more dangerous than they are towards humans, especially in real life sharks don't care about humans at all you know if this was a movie about a shark that just somehow got trapped in a flooded basement and the family has to see what to do with the shark, like do they rescue it or leave it to die, and maybe they debate what right thing to do and try calm the scared shark down. I mean the movie would need way better actors and script but that sounds like a way more interesting movie I would love a shark movie where the shark isn't a man-eating villain

[@migzydrift]

Ah-hah! Willow call back!!! 🧙🏻‍♂️🥳

[@the98themperoroftheholybri33]

Maybe this movie takes place in an alternate universe where everyone has an IQ below 80? That would explain why they talk like that

[@Forsak3nBreed1982]

24:20 i lost it

[@freelands8355]

To this day I still question your amazing willpower to watch these without going to a mental facility

[@Indy44636]

Oh look its number 7 the neck.

[@rhiban]

Everything gets better with age. Except bananas and THAT GUY

[@Alteori]

💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@tiagotiagot]

Damn, is everything alright Altie?

[@innovator90]

Oh shit! I saw this movie last summer!😂 Yeah. It was as bad as that FX. I was just so bored and it was just there. Sometimes you’ll find a hidden gem, but this…😐it was not a gem.

[@riddickraymond7067]

Well there are people that don't know how to change there engine oil and other that try to fill up an electric car with gas so no surprise. Maybe there not her favourite kids she can alway make more right. I enjoy your British accent and the innuendos every time.

[@GodzillaTrexHere]

Awesome video Alteori 😎

[@daisythegoth7444]

Someone needs to make a compilation of all the times you say "water."

[@Alteori]

Oh God 😂

[@darrancoyle8394]

Hey, Alteori, did this steaming pile of shark bait get any Razzis?

[@King2000.]

If I got a nickle for everytime there is another shark movie, I'd be rich.

[@TypicalMetalGearRisingPlayer]

Ghost shark sequel when?

[@TypicalMetalGearRisingPlayer]

@Joshua 1992 ghost shark 2: urban jaws

[@mackfarlainethebarenakedau5113]

Alteori should review House Shark Ghost Shark Sharks of the Corn All the Sharknado movies (if you haven't already).

[@dougie1361]

The edited shadow at the start hurt my soul, so I had to show my brother. He said, "Why would you do this to me 😂

[@cyberhampter7747]

Sharknado, megalodon vs giant octopus, giant shark vs crocosaurus, mega shark vs mechashark, mega piranha, alien vs hunter, alien tornado, ghost shark, transmorphers, I could keep going (These are real movies btw)

[@heathermichael9422]

This is great! Lol these are so bad. It is like watching a Hallmark movie. You know it is going to be so bad and the acting is so bad but for some reason people just keep going back and watching them for a good laugh.

[@Alteori]

I think I'm so beyond these movies that my brain just shuts down and has no idea how to make it through watching them. You guys are strong to straight up laugh at them because they just kill me inside. 😭

[@QuantumCat76]

17:00 It's called "acting", I guess (pretending)

[@MintiumHeart]

Could you still do titles of the movie when you make these?

[@Alteori]

It's in the description 🙂

[@innovator90]

😂 Some of Tubi’s movies are simply ridiculous but are fun just to watch. Yes they are bad but a lot are just so bad you need to 😆. But I remember this one.

[@GoodTimeForARoll]

I can never describe the fever dream that is watching b rated movies, I've never done drugs but watching these movies makes me believe I have

[@HB-C_U_L8R]

That girl's bite mark looks like they spread some jam on her leg.