“I have no friends” and why it’s okay

[@steve_x9582]

"Feeling lonely in the presence of other people is worse than feeling lonely in solitude'. Nicely worded

[@lauren5725]

I have definitely felt this 😢

[@lenoxpI]

If you haven’t experienced this you haven’t experienced life

[@jenlovesjesus]

I totally agree, I feel like that a lot with my siblings. They are very cliquish and exclude me. Even when we're together I don't feel like I am part of their group. I didn't miss them during the pandemic-- it was a relief not to have to socialize with them.

[@Nada-gb4bm]

I have no friends and my family which is my mother and brother they don't love me and never listen to me and i have been thinking about suicide a lot and idk what to do about it i am just emotionless from all that's happening in my life and i used to talk about it to my friends but know i have no one

[@neighborhoodpizzaguy]

That's a Robin Williams quote basically

[@simalcin6158]

Someone once said to me, "The fewer friends you have, the less upset you will be." Makes sense when you think about it, but when I see other people's friendships out there, I get depressed😅

[@grubhubboogieman6125]

REAL

[@kaworunji]

too real

[@Moon_lulu]

Frr. When there are a lot of friends, most likely you dont get to really know each of the person in that group. Also, when you have lots of friends, they tend to gossip a lot of each other.

[@Anonymous-cf8fq]

@@Moon_lulu yes! I agree as a person who had lots of friends

[@lunaria6537]

@@Moon_lulu this is true, my ex had a lot of friends and they gossip a lot. lol

[@roxanne4820]

Friends come and go, don't let it make you feel like there's something wrong with you.

[@may_0reo816]

part of me still believes it

[@toast4310]

@@may_0reo816 For the longest time I did too but I’m trying to stop thinking like that. Me and my beat friend from elementary school are now distant and not as close, but that’s only because our interests are different! There nothing wrong with you 🫶🏾

[@Krolted]

People always leave me especially during times when I struggle the most. It’s always me, me, me. I’m at fault. And I believed them. I always believed that I am the one in the wrong, that I’m such a terrible person to hang out with which crushed my self esteem and made me isolate even more. But if I think about it, were they really my friends to begin with if they leave me when I’m in my most vulnerable state of my life? Am I in the wrong for rejecting my friends love after them confessing to me that they’re into me romantically? Isn’t that my right so how am I bad for voicing my opinion? „You should have been more upfront“ „You‘re too upfront and direct“ OK what am I now? You’re definitely not my friends and never have been.

[@Jesus_Saves_Believers]

🎸Roxanne!! You don't have to turn on the red light 🚨🕯️🎤🎼🎵ROXAAAANE🎶🎵🎼

[@Olivyablogstorys]

Some friendships last forever

[@Mali_C137]

"You realize how capable u r to do everything by yourself " this is exactly what i needed to hear

[@janooligan]

“Don’t ever let having no friends stop you from living your best life” in love with this ❣️

[@janooligan]

@asiababy-gn3dw I’m sorry to hear that :/ but life is so long we can figure it all out no matter if with someone or alone, in the end we’ll have the people we need next to us.

[@hp2546]

@asiababy-gn3dw Got to understand that it isn't a friend's job to pay your bills or babysit you. Part of making friends means you have to learn how to become independent first. If they see that you are a mess, they won't even want to hang out with you. Look at this. Your only friend betrayed you. If you depend on friends now, all they will do is take advantage of you. You aren't gaining anything from having friends and if they barely know you, they aren't going to hold your hands through this. If you are homeless, the #1 rule of survival is not to depend on people you barely know. If you can't impress, you are not ready to gain a friend. It won't make your life better if they turned out to betray you and make you owe them something. Even if you found a friend, it does not mean you will magically get a job interview and pass an elevator pitch. If you are struggling to impress making new people, you won't even be ready to do job interviews. No matter where you choose whether it is job interview or making friends, you got to work on knowing how to take care of yourself. The minute you make friends or go to job interview with the mindset of not wanting to take care of yourself, you will automically be rejected.

[@lynic-0091]

@asiababy-gn3dwI don't want to be rude at all, but thinking you NEED someone is wrong and unhealthy. All you need is yourself. You don't need any other shitty human around you to be strong and to build in your life. All you need is yourself. Period. Most people will let you down. But, if you choose to support yourself, be your own best friend, you will never let yourself down. Stay strong.

[@nganle3819]

hihi, i read all these comments. Actually, i used to have many friends group, but after much loading jobs, i rarely go outside and hang out with my friends. Then nearly i feel behind them and lost in these friends groups. I want to ask how their life, but they dont ask me first. So i leave it as it is. Maybe we are not really good friends of each others. Recently, i focus on studying and working much. Only two friends i knew when we were in primary school, whom i am still keeping contacts with. Less friends, but high quality friendship. A group of old friends who told me that i was so strange with them since i talked to them so politely which they hate. I allowed myself to let it go, no need to change myself for adapting with others. All fine now. Even alone, dont forget to love yourself, please ✓ Nothing is wrong for putting yourself as first priority

[@ruzaruza7813]

Exactly- I have done everything I have wanted to do in my life --

[@cindypetr3087]

as someone who’s in a group, i’ve figured that it’s easier to be alone (literally) without being in a group because feeling lonely in a group of friends makes me feel worse than being alone with no friends.

[@_EffyShen]

This is so true, when other people in the group talk a lot but you don't have much to say and when they have secrets that they can't discuss in your presence. These hurt more than being alone by yourself 💯

[@jammydoughnuts]

This is why I spent so much time alone when I was at school. I started off in a small group, didn’t like a couple of them and felt lonely when they were all present. I realised I’d rather be alone than with people who I don’t like or who I don’t feel comfortable with.

[@marrismendaros682]

I have no friends because I'm not much social and I don't know why I'm not comfortable with other Felos. I'm happy when alone

[@melaninmel9213]

Group friendships are the absolute worse scenario to be in. Its better to have individual friends from different places

[@AryelSolis]

This is my dilemma right now. Surrounded by lots of friends but also not feeling like I belong in that group.

[@Hahadot]

Cutting off unhealthy friendships is definitely better than staying in and feeling miserable 😢

[@trollzynisaacjohan1793]

sadly it is.

[@Melissa-818]

Jesus loves you and he died for you. The Love of God Love is sooo big. He can listen to your sorrow, to your doubt, to your depression, to your joy, to your anxiety... Literally everything ! He cares about you, start to care more about him. Read the Bible if you want to learn more ❤

[@SarahAlexaCr]

YES

[@putinscat1208]

People are grumpier these days.

[@kereniachng106]

Just don’t put hope and expectation on your friend who will return the same amount of time and effort which you have put into the friendship. Everyone has a choice to choose who they want to cherish which your friend might not choose you and pick your choice wisely on which friend who will deserve your energy and you want to keep by your side. Just hang out during your free time and concentrate on yourself when you have things to do. With this, you wont burden and stress out the friendship which can last it longer. One day if the friendship don’t work out and you wont be too affected and feel too sad about it.

[@MelonDealer69]

The worst part is back when I had the best friends I could ever ask for and it was the best time of my life and I just can't get past it, I've been depressed af ever since we've lost touch, now I got no one

[@writerforlifeify]

Why would "best friends" lose touch with each other? Did they truly value your friendship?

[@ummekulsumshaik8922]

I think that attachment leads to suffering....I prefer relationships without attachment and dependency

[@writerforlifeify]

@@ummekulsumshaik8922 You're right. Countless spiritual teachers, including Eckhart Tolle, caution against attachment--to people, to pets, to material possessions, job titles, etc. Attachment does not conduce to spiritual growth or inner peace. I've heard it said that it's not even possible to 'miss' anyone; what you are, in truth, missing is that connection with your Inner Self, not another person. We are all One, one cell, ostensibly divided into 8 billion bodies on this earth. We're all alone, meaning All One. I suspect that the OP who laments the loss of her "best friends" & the "best time" of her life...unconsciously used those friends & time spent with them to DISTRACT herself from her own true Self. It doesn't make sense (to me) to be "depressed af" after losing touch with one's "best friends." She says she now has no one. Not true! She has everything she needs--within herself. When you are consciously aligned with your true Self, you can be alone without ever feeling lonely. I personally feel best in my own company. Solitude can be rather seductive....

[@writerforlifeify]

@@ummekulsumshaik8922 You're right. Countless spiritual teachers, including Eckhart Tolle, caution against attachment--to people, to pets, to material possessions, job titles, etc. Attachment does not conduce to spiritual growth or inner peace. I've heard it said that it's not even possible to 'miss' anyone; what you are, in truth, missing is that connection with your Inner Self, not another person. We are all One, one cell, ostensibly divided into 8 billion bodies on this earth. We're all alone, meaning All One. I suspect that the OP who laments the loss of her "best friends" & the "best time" of her life...unconsciously used those friends & time spent with them to DISTRACT herself from her own true Self. Reply

[@writerforlifeify]

@@ummekulsumshaik8922 You're right. Countless spiritual teachers, including Eckhart Tolle, caution against attachment--to people, to pets, to material possessions, job titles, etc. Attachment does not conduce to spiritual growth or inner peace. I've heard it said that it's not even possible to 'miss' anyone; what you are, in truth, missing is that connection with your Inner Self, not another person. We are all One, one cell, ostensibly divided into 8 billion bodies on this earth. We're all alone, meaning All One. I suspect that the OP who laments the loss of her "best friends" & the "best time" of her life...unconsciously used those friends & time spent with them to DISTRACT herself from her own true Self.

[@katfujioka212]

It's OK to have no friends but it's important to have someone supportive in your life. You should be able to live independently but being utterly lonely will make you unhappy in the long run, and can actually shorten your lifespan! Loneliness is normal and kinda endemic in the West for a variety of reasons, but that doesn't mean we should isolate ourselves.

[@via.ilyouu]

yep! like i’ve said in the video, don’t close yourself off from people. being alone has its pros but be open to meeting new people when they come by :)

[@marccolomayt82094]

I love your happiness and being my favorite vlogger friend so much @via.ilyouu ❤ I’ll give this a 10/10

[@lisaru9764]

So poignant of you to point out the health consequences of feeling lonely!! Extended periods of isolation and loneliness can be as detrimental to human health as smoking 2 packs of cigarette a day!!! The positive relationships in our lives can truly make a seemingly worhless life of endless suffering feel worthwhile and give us the strength to continue on. Via, I'm so happy that you've come to peace with your relationship to others and with yourself but I also feel very sorry that you had to experience the path that you did to come to this level of self acceptance. It must have been very hard on you in the past, especially when you were a lot younger. I'm sorry you had to deal with it all alone.

[@Lau1678]

That person is literaly God for me :) But i agree so much with you !!!! You’ re right 💯 (sorry for my english I am French).

[@AndreiFantastic]

It’s true but some people just don’t have friends and can’t make them, what are they supposed to do? Force a friendship with people? Hold a gun to someone’s head and say you better be my friend or else 😂

[@ajulu.]

Having no friends is okay because you learn to love your alone time, but it’s still important to have a strong support system. I’ve always been introverted and reserved, so I would spend a lot of my time by myself, but having a few close friends has really aided in my love of being alone.

[@leka1011slay]

exactly. ❤

[@vanifarron]

Where does one find dependable people lol

[@ongakira]

i literally do nothing when i’m alone but let my negative thoughts consume me and my being until i can’t take anymore of it ak go to sleep

[@ellentrost-rekich1389]

⁠@@ongakiralife is hard, it’s so hard to be positive most of the time… I hope you find peace and positivity😢

[@monsteralfie]

so so so true

[@stardust2826]

When you're alone for so long, you become an overthinker ._. And without realizing you can't enjoy being part of a group fully because you'll always feel like an outsider

[@via.ilyouu]

yes this! esp being an outsider as a kid, it’s hard to let that go as an adult :(

[@bluedays-dg1jp]

I used to feel this way in my early 20s even childhood but I've learned to embrace whatever makes me feel different including interests and way of thunking. I never relate to most people's thought processes and don't feel like keeping up with trends but i just keep telling myself that i am just unique and there's nothing wrong with me. Now in my mid 20s and I don't feel that way anymore. I've fully accepted my fate and however i was goddamn built by the higher power or something lol What i did is to accept whatever's makes me different or uncomfortable about myself which takes tremendous amount of sht in my part. But it's all worth it 😂😂

[@experiencelifelittleone]

@@via.ilyouu that's so true

[@celineqoujaq2175]

Also u just feel like ur soooo bad or there is snt wrong with u and u just believe u can't even talk with people or do stuff cause u just can't

[@sagisdoodleverse9696]

Ah that’s me

[@priscila_porp]

As a kid and even nowadays, I never felt the need to have many friends. But at the same time I've always heard people saying that if you're alone, it's because you deserve to be alone, so that always made me wonder if there's something wrong with me, feeling like you have people around you, but not actual friends is really exausting

[@nadineh4767]

“Am i worthy of having friends” that one hit me. I’ve always struggled making friends and everytime I did make a friend I find myself subconsciously trying to prove to them why I’m deserving of being their friend. And it sucks when ppl reaffirm that belief I have by getting surprised everytime I mention “a friend” as if it’s so shocking that I would have one, which is rlly wierd lol. It’s so ridiculous because literally every decent person on earth is worthy of having friends, no matter how socially awkward or introverted someone may be

[@KurosakiRuka]

Same here, but i am also the person who gets surprised when they mention they have other friends, but not because i dont think they cant make friends, but because i get jealous and scared of being abandoned.(Maybe this could apply to some of your friends too)

[@hp2546]

Once you are in a situation where you feel you need to prove yourself, then don't hang out with them. You will only live a lie pretending to have friends. Don't sell yourself way too high because you don't want to end up lying about what value you have. Like for example, you don't want to end up going into I show you and then messing up with a skill you don't even have. If you hang out with someone who is popular, that is what will make you feel intimated and then that will make your mind think everybody is worthy of friends. If you start with someone who is not popular and does not hang out, then you won't be claiming every person you interact with are worthy of friends. The reason why they were worthy is because they were not desperate. The reason why they were worthy is because they believe in themselves. If you make friends, you got to give a vibe that you also want to be independent. If you give a vibe that you depend on them to pull you out of solitude life, this is when you remind yourself it isn't their job to hold your hands, pay your bills, and babysitting you.

[@Krolted]

Let’s be friends I don’t want to be alone and meet new people too but it’s a struggle

[@bobbyhill8486]

The less people you chill with, the less bullshit you deal with 😌 💯

[@jeonskookiee8366]

And that's ON PERIOD🥳💅🏻

[@selfknowledge9560]

That's absolutely right mate

[@SofiaSanchez-hl4he]

this made me feel so much better cause i felt like having more friends made you happier i guess not !!😊

[@LN-dg8li]

👏👏👏❤️

[@musicalsanskriti]

Now that's the most beautiful line I've ever heard😊😊

[@via.ilyouu]

just to be clear, like i said in the video, i am not saying “don’t make friends!” what i’m saying is to embrace being alone and find yourself. however friends are a beautiful thing. your people will come trust me. i truly do believe having a few friends is way better than having A LOT of friends lol. anyways love u all 🩷🩷🩷 edit: guys, i’m very grateful to have good friends like I mentioned in the video. i keep getting comments stating “i thought you had friends?” i do, which is why i quoted “i have no friends” to apply to those who don’t or just simply feels lonely.

[@lilim.orgado]

it's good to see u talking about it via, i used to be dependent and when i realized i should be able to find peace in being alone+enjoying myself i grew up/learned soo much and also that made me better person for those i love.

[@GroovyCosMec]

Honestly, I grew up the same way Via. There were points in my life I didn't genuinely have friends, and it did hurt a lot. Specifically, there were moments where I felt okay and rejoice in being alone, but then there were moments were I felt lonely and I always kept shaming myself about it. I just felt like it was on and off with them. Nonetheless, I was able to find my group of peeps who I'm proud to say I have in my life (although, I have been ghosting them via my stress mechanism....I will get back to talking to them soon 😅, but the way they support me is comforting, but weird admittedly for sure).

[@annawmccauley]

I understand entirely every inch of what you are saying. What was said in this video was NOT insinuating that it is better to have no friends. I can you not; my jaw dropped to the floor when I saw you post this video because it is SO prevalent to what I am going through now. My time of loneliness and isolation is only out of depression from "friendship breakups," but I am slowly coming out of it little by little. No, this video is not insinuating that everyone should just cut off people from their life, but it is speaking to those coming out of friendships that made you feel more lonely than when you're alone. My time of loneliness is not because I am a loner, hermit, or whatever people want to say. My time of loneliness, as you said, is to better myself, find who I am, find nurturing and healthy friendships, which is what I desire, and enjoy my solo adventures. I so appreciate you making this video. I am not lonely now because I am unworthy of friends. I am in a time of solitude to build myself up and to find happiness where good friends will come. Thank you! xx P.S. Yes, if you have family, significant other, therapist, etc., that is in your life to be a support system, that is great, but NOT EVERYONE HAS THAT. This video is about not making yourself feel unworthy, as society puts it, when you go through a time of loneliness. You have so much worth; I have so much worth, regardless of who is around you. People don't give you your value. Let's be in a time of quality, wellness, and prosperity in passions together!

[@GroovyCosMec]

@@annawmccauley Well said 😊

[@lennertvermeir7498]

So basically to have no friends is fine, to have friends is also fine :)

[@riejon80]

It’s better be alone than with bad company.

[@joshuabuchanan1141]

Bad company seems to be pretty much everyone in public, unfortunately

[@LucidKay9114]

@@joshuabuchanan1141I think you’re just a bad person. You attract what you are.

[@V6HAVOC]

@@LucidKay9114 stupid logic lol

[@RedStarAero]

​@@LucidKay9114 as if you're a good person irl

[@luv.l1f3]

does anyone else feel like they have people, but not friends???

[@日光-o7c]

me

[@RUsirius967]

me

[@amym3169]

I would say we have way more acquaintances than friends.

[@heavenlygirlly]

Yeah, I believe it is soul-speaking to us that the people around us Are just seeing and reacting to us based on how we look and what we possess. So intuitively we know it and we feel alone even with friends. Some of us need soulful connections, we do not like people who love us based on material possessions and beauty but our mind and soul. We crave it. And that's why most of us choose solitude. I think these souls are heightened souls.

[@juliacastle2224]

OMG YES BBY

[@rebeccav.3734]

"You have yourself and that is more than enough." That was a very powerful line. Thank you.

[@susan7374]

It's really ok to have no friends or have friends. Just live your life as it is, things will change, people come and go, some remain, some left. So its really ok to be at where you are at this moment.

[@bryanamarin]

This is exactly what I’ve been thinking lately.

[@stasiacat.]

thank you so much for this, i've been in a really dark place and am an introvert so I have no friends, but i'm realising that its ok.

[@naturalnia432]

This is the best mindset ❤

[@Plavokosi_Marko98]

I am struggling a lot to make friends, I was treated so badly in the past that I have little confidence. I don't have anyone in life, only acquaintances. 😢

[@FireWork-nc8ib]

Yes , but there is thing we call NORM ...and it's very hard to avoid or ignore , cuz you pay . Having friend , even bad and fake ones it easier than not having them . When you don't fit in , and you don't have friends you're out of the NORMS ..and it's hard to deal with .. Yes it's ok in itself , but it's too heavy . Sorry for my bad English .

[@hansolo.1]

I actually enjoy being alone: going to the movies, visiting the bookstore, having coffee at the café. I used like hanging out with friends when I was younger, but I really started to enjoy doing things myself. You're not alone.

[@catscoffeemusic]

I was crying. I'm also the type of person who can't keep friends since I'm a complicated one to deal with but this video of yours really uplifted my thoughts that it's okay to have no friends. Thanks!

[@bumblebee_ms]

I find it hard to see the positives when I'm struggling so much.

[@riphugo]

same girl

[@catscoffeemusic]

I'm with you

[@catscoffeemusic]

hope you are doing well@@riphugo

[@patdo4452]

Being labeled as complicated is subjective. I've been called too much by some due to my realness and directness. Others love me instantly. Hope you'll find like-minded people ❤.

[@Simplynetta]

I needed to hear this! I am 40 and I really don’t think I have genuine friends. I have started to do things by myself and man the world has opened up to me!

[@dodododo995]

I spend many years with no friends ,Its ok ,,people are like a trip,they come to your life for a while and left maybe in years or months,some of them we are thankful-for them ,,no one who will be with us rest of our life , Sorry if my English is bad :)

[@omeletteokks]

thanks for sharing your story. I'm still growing up as a 16 year old and I wanted to know that I'm not alone in this experience.

[@Simplynetta]

@@omeletteokks I have a 19 year old son and he is the life of the party bur very much a loner. You get to know who you really are when you spend time with yourself. Don’t worry about being alone. The people that are supposed to be in your life will be their. And if you have people in your life that leave you will be just fine because you have experience and enjoyed the stressful life without others. Hopefully this makes since. Don’t think about being alone as a bad thing think of it as a time in your life for development and to fall in love with yourself!! 🥰🥰

[@twinklevangie7604]

I find that I spend some time building support community but after two years they are gone. Felt like it's wasting time. So I am back to my loneranger self. 😂

[@deltahomicide9300]

I bet your place is awesome. People who thrive in solitude always have incredibly inviting things around the house. But it's not for anyone else but us 😀

[@SimiiiD_]

I was kinda getting sad realising how I’m losing all my friends and growing apart from them. I do love them it’s just that we no longer vibe like how we used to. I’m in my healing journey so grateful for everything, but just sometimes loneliness creeps in. Thankyou for this video. This is such a nice reminder that it’s okay to be alone ❤

[@maigemini1996]

I want to say that I’m in the same situation as you. Though I do not cut them off completely, I just couldn’t bring myself to be close to them as I used to be. And I have always struggled with making new friends. So it has come to the point where there were nights that I cried so much just bc I felt that I have no friends now. I’m all by myself now. So Via’s video just came at the right time to remind myself that it’s gonna be Ok. I’m growing and healing.

[@shireenmakda4442]

Same here ! Its crazy how lonely we all feel yet theres a comment section full of people going thru similar things, my friends all started college without me and my abandonment issues became so bad, now ive decided to go to a college this year completely alone just to work on myself and choose my own friends for once yk? Loneliness is one of the most depressing feelings in the world but i seriously need to learn that even if i only get a one or two friends that is completely fine. I need to be okay with being alone and not feel constant shame ab it

[@hearteu5260]

It's part of the journey my friend, embrace it and don't force it. Maybe it's time to meet new people. Focus on yourself and try new things.

[@limsiewyew6164]

But you are not alone in this situation. Grateful gor this video. Help me a bit to heal.

[@aze8127]

​@@maigemini1996watching this right now and reading the comments and this exact reply of yours perfectly described my situation. maybe i’m not alone at all, i share some situations with other people.

[@KeionJones]

I’m at a point where if you want to be in my life, cool. If you don’t want to be in my life, cool. People come and go like leaves on a tree. At the end of the day, all I have and all I’ll ever have is me. As long as I have God, my health, and my family, I’ll manage and figure out the rest. No matter what burdens or hassles come my way, I always bounce back. I know I’m a great man and a great person. So if someone doesn’t wanna be in my life, that’s their loss and their issue. They’re missing out, not me.

[@untitle161]

@@KeionJones , I’ve been telling myself this and others this for like 4 years or maybe more “the only person who can make you happy is you. Each friends u have can only be temporary. Because everyday there’s a friendship fallout. So it’s best never to tell a friend “Friends for life” because u just don’t know for sure until or if it really happen. There’s a saying “Friends comes and goes”. Having a woman or man can also be temporary. It’s also best to not tell your woman or man “you are the love of my life” because u don’t know for sure. Having a woman or man she or he can disappear on u anytime.”

[@Mittryng]

I struggle to believe in God to this day, and i truly thought that my real best friends would be my family, but then my father died, and the thought of my mother leaving soon as well. since she's of old age, it haunts me, like... "Who else will se value in me", my few "friends" are not present and don't make any effort to stay around, the new ones are ghosting too like there's no tomorrow... Relatives, a bunch of them don't like me because i grew up timid and awkward... And Romantic Relationships Idk... Hook up Culture all around, and im part of it. No hope is left

[@MayamoHmaya]

​@@Mittryng don't say that hey we all are living our lives and there's a reason u exist just bcuz u don't have any friends or someone dear enough doesn't mean u give up nd lose hope never do that remember god always does the best things he cud do to you and everything will get better eventually. Ur mother will be in great health as long as ur by her side so don't worry about that just keep trying keep hustling and all will be good.

[@KaliKali-hv9bt]

@@Mittryngi feel the same way

[@Mittryng]

@@MayamoHmaya Thanks for the words, I'll make sure to keep going and going, trying everyday, even tho is so tiring sometimes...

[@33001400]

alone > bad friendship Good friendship > alone

[@Calle.Hutch..]

Period

[@hejiranyc]

I’m kind of at the other end of this. I am in my 50s, no friends, never married, no children , no siblings and my elderly parents live 1500 miles away. When you get to this stage in life, you really do begin to figure things out. The first thing I realized is that humans are very transactional beings who put themselves above all else. And friendships are, at their core, mostly transactional. I’ve come to realize that I never really had friends. I have had acquaintances that expected something from me, whether it was my time, my car, my willingness to be accommodating, etc. I thought they were my friends but they just saw me as filling a certain need at a certain moment in time. I had come to learn that I was actually a subject of ridicule behind my back; this is a recurring theme throughout my life in every friend circle I partook in. Around 12 years ago, I finally came to grips and accepted the fact that I am inherently not likeable and that I will never have a genuine connection with another person. And that’s okay! Some people are built different and I am living proof of that. Having no friends has not stopped me in life. I have multiple homes. I have traveled around the world solo. I have had so many amazing experiences that I think I could have only done by myself. And I am at peace with the fact that I am not being used and I no longer have to put on airs and act differently around people. I am myself at all times and that kind of peace of mind is priceless. My only regret is that I wasted so much of my life trying to get people to like me.

[@trannguyen8956]

i am glad that you feel happy ❤

[@xdrazormon454]

Are you a misanthrope? That’s what I hate about people so much, to get genuine connection from people you have to be a charismatic person I hate making new acquaintances as much as small talk, it gets annoying after awhile when there’s no connection people are garbage, I would rather have pets then friends anyway especially with my autism. People don’t like me so therefore I hate them back

[@hejiranyc]

@@xdrazormon454 Probably. I can fake charisma at times but it is EXHAUSTING. I have a high-level corporate job and I'm the head of two functions so I have to lead many meetings, manage people and interview job candidates. Before and after each meeting, I feel like killing myself. Some people talk about having to "code switch" at work. I have to "persona switch" and maintain this veneer of being neurotypical and "normal." To the world at large I have a dream life making good money, traveling to fancy meetings, traveling between homes and calling the shots. But nobody knows that I am barely able to pull myself together at 8:55 to do a 9:00 meeting (remotely, thank goodness). I'm living proof of faking it 'til you make it.

[@mauricioramirez9744]

I dedicate to you the song "Greens and Blues" by the Pixies.

[@anaml3879]

All of that is and was me. Except I am married with kids and still miss "friends" and family (all of them live 12hrs away, 16hrs away or the whole pacific ocean across) thanks for sharing and getting me closer to be ok to be with no friends. I just feel ungrateful to want more people when I have my husband and kids.

[@dilaralove6084]

I become my most productive, most successful, most focused self when I am alone. Friends usually distract me from my goals (maybe I have balance problems but at the end of the day I know how I function and friends are not my priority) or they bring their own problems Yes I had friends in some phases of my life, but I didn’t keep them and always ended up alone. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. If they meant to stay they would simply stay. We don’t have to do everything like others do in life Also, when I am alone in my space I never feel bad about not having friends, I am usually happy, enjoying my own company. Reading, watching KZbin, listening my playlists, working out, spending time on social media, or just simply existing… I never think about friends. I only feel ashamed when I am around other people with friends, that’s when I question myself. So I feel like it is not a real issue if when I am alone with myself in my own head and never realize it

[@dilaralove6084]

@user-lw5xo9kr3w so glad 🩷🩷🩷

[@dada-g1g]

The “I only feel ashamed when I am around other people with friends” part is so true🥺 When I’m in my own company, I just be myself not overthinking things. But whenever people are around, I couldn’t help but to feel ashamed and less than them…it’s a bad thing I know, but I really enjoy my time alone because I didn’t compare myself

[@MiaRegazza-hb3vp]

Spot on! Also I have noticed most people open to make friends will bring their own dramas/conflicts/problems to the friendship which it's a disadvantage to me as I have my life well organized and balanced. Since we're social creatures that's a primitive behavior but I'd rather to stick to acquaintances :)

[@indigoGoddess7]

I’m with you!! ✨✨✨I’m a great conversationalist and I communicate well, but as I got older. I noticed that people would get jealous because of the attention that I would get and they would try to embarrass me and or make comments about subjects they didn’t understand. I prefer my own company and it’s better for me.

[@MiaRegazza-hb3vp]

@@indigoGoddess7 Indirecting they are acknowledging that you are more intelligent, have more resources and success in life than them. Usually I just respond being ironic. They don't realize that the more they try to embarrass you the more you will feel superior against them.

[@Riri.22320]

I am 17 years old. . . I have been on my own with no friends and losing friends since I was in elementary school. I have been a victim of bullying at a young age.. even now in high school being a junior I am on my own I always feel like it is me because I never got taught how to be socially confident, I'm really self conscious and I get insecure about my shyness so I tend to over think about how the person thinks of me, so I end up being quiet which drives them away. . This video is a really good reminder to tell me that "Hey, you have no friends and that is ok not everyone HAS to have friends 24/7 as long as you love yourself and you can achieve YOUR dreams you will be happy" Thank you Via Li I am a new subscriber :)

[@KaliKali-hv9bt]

Hope it gets better ❤❤❤❤

[@scarletchase9913]

Hey, just so you know, it's not you - it's never about you .. seeing your backstory, it's pretty clear that those were the wrong people .. I'm hoping that one day you meet a genuine human, because they do exist, and I hope you realize you're alot more cooler than you think. I'm 17 too btw, I know how it feels to be alone, though I've not been through as much as you, but know that you're doing great.

[@readingwithlisha]

Being in my early twenties and balancing between completing my master's degree and looking for a job I enjoy doing, I have realized that people will come and go in my life with time and it's gonna be only ME who gets to make my life enjoyable. It's more like I am losing friends while I'm finding out many new things about myself, exactly the breakthrough that Via talks about. Yes, sometimes it's so dark but mostly it's experimenting with so many aspects of life and finding things that make you stand out of the crowd. Thanks, Via for the amazing update :)

[@duaneowens7777]

Great point. What is your career

[@babyprincezzz318]

I have no friends and a huge part of that is because I closed myself off from the ones who were in the past. The last time I talked to a friend was over a year ago. Depression made me stay in my room constantly. I’m dealing with identity issues, grief, feeling behind other peers, social anxiety and more, all alone. It sucks but I’m trying hard to get through that part of my life. I want to be a better person in the end. I’m not giving up and I’m learning that having no friends is okay. And that there is a possibility of finding new friends in the future too

[@mrcool1519]

People are trash. Who cares.

[@blink_hj6303]

I have been there, I still don't have close friends but there are some with whom I am on friendly terms kinda. It might feel difficult and very dark right now but soon this dark moment will pass away. You will meet some good people later and will soon learn to be happy whether with others or by yourself. You already having a positive thinking about this will help in your healing too. You are already good as even trying to be good is good and I am sure you will become better! Let's never give up!

[@DouglasRoy-rv9rh]

I too has no friends, so i am thinking of building a society if he/she thinks alone anxious or even depressed can say hii , trust me I will never hurt anybody

[@iaprawitasari3028]

Hope you Will find your true friend someday✨

[@Blazeyy]

I am in a slightly similar situation. I use to have “friends” in the past, but they cut me off from the group. For me, middle school is where I build the closest friendships with people and felt the most happiness, so I was attached to those middle school friends, long after middle school. In high school, I made friends but I was never really myself with them and we didn’t bond the way I did with my middle school friends. So I would talk to my middle school friends throughout high school and college but my middle school best friend would cut me off completely on August 2021 after leading me on that he wants to rekindle our friendship by meeting in-person. I always knew they were fake and disingenuous people but I let the good memories and attachment I had to them cloud my judgment and let them mistreat me for years until they decided to cut me off from the group. It took a while but I got over it and tried to reconnect with my high school friend group. Things went okay and certain people was mature compared to high school which was great but I can sense there was jealously towards me because I ended up in a better position in life than they did even though we had the same opportunity and I sacrificed hanging out to study while they partied and skipped classes. So I have no friends. I struggled with loneliness and social anxiety for the longest time, but thank goodness I am learning to make myself a better person and just enjoy my life the best I can. I accepted having no friends is okay and I just praying whoever and wherever the right people, the right genuine friend group is for me finds me soon, i don’t reject them or do anything stupid to make them leave and we can enjoy each other’s company.

[@lalaland6026]

i'm 26 year old and always felt so bad about myself for not finding friends in college but you make me feel so much better, thank you for making this video i needed to hear this

[@Izzy-gh1yj]

@@harshy4nope as a 26 year old please find people your age and enjoy you childhood!

[@Lica13684]

@@Izzy-gh1yjIs it ok to be friends with people over the age 18 and I’m a minor?✨

[@verasambience]

omg same :/ i always feel so bad about it as well.

[@Shytan101]

hey😢 same here

[@lilskronklbloop]

@@Lica13684 fellow minor here, I dont wanna be a buzzkill but you can get taken advantage of ive seen my fair share of horrors including an 18 yr old who was a tad creepy

[@akferren1]

I’m 53 and I’ve never had friends.. always felt fine alone doing my own thing.. my dog is my best friend and he loves me no matter what

[@Lemoneez]

oh that's so good to hear. I also want to get a dog as my companion as sometimes anxiety hits hard while being alone.

[@melaninmel9213]

After a close friend turned against me and also all the awful experiences I’ve had in the past with people, I don’t care about losing friends anymore. I have to protect my peace and my own happiness.

[@thefirstmonkey3156]

You are your best friend. Who could love you more? Most people cannot be with themselves. You have a superpower.

[@imanalhana616]

i also ended a friendship recently because of the efforts that I put in is so much higher than hers and i was getting tired of it. like you i also started making hobby; went to the gym, started cooking. like you said I realised I actually just follow all what her wants and needs but not mine and she wasnt doing the same. this video is so relatable. thank you so much.

[@AUGHHHHHBBG]

I feel like one of my best friend's are like not answering text hardly or talking to me anymore but idk what to do. I don't even really consider her my best friend anymore

[@bunnyearchic]

@@AUGHHHHHBBGIf you haven’t already I would talk to her about it before making a decision. You said you feel like she isn’t rly ur best friend anymore, that partially answers ur question. But I would still communicate to her🫶🏽

[@diediedice]

​@@AUGHHHHHBBGI was there... it had been going on for years and really sucked. You need to understand that they're also just a person and have their own life, but if they're ignoring you for a long time and not even seek conversation then they're a bad friend. I'd try talking to her about it and if she doesn't care/understand let her go. Either are going to be hard but you'll feel sooo much better after a while :) Good luck

[@evelinherascheluca7197]

same, I would be reaching out to her but she would not answer me back until a few days later, bc she has a bf and only message’s me about her problems. To be honest I was mad and hurt bc we both known each other since 2nd grade. Rn I am doing things alone and I can say I am still learning about myself and feeling more comfortable and confident 👍 love yourself 💜

[@dustywisteria8641]

I feel like I'm losing my best friend in college. She used to look out for me, always wanted to hang out,talk and always reserved the seat next to her for me. But nowadays I can see that she wants to have new friends and join to new groups, while ignoring me. She doesn't talk to me much anymore and when she does usually it's about her boyfriend. Apart from being "best" idk if we're even friends anymore and seeing her running for different girls on recess, not even looking back hurts so much. I feel like a disposable friend that she used until she met new ones. We've been so close for five years and this is our 6th. Our school numbers are back to back so I'm going to see her every day, every class, every exam until the day we graduate so I'm worried if I cut relationship it's gonna be awkward for the rest 3 years. If anyone read until here, what do you recommend? I'm too emotional to think clearly

[@onyxcat1312]

I recently saw a girl eating by herself in a yakiniku restaurant with a glass of wine while watching something on her phone. All I could think was "she looks like she's living her best life"

[@lbaqnoe]

Getting older made me realize it’s okay to just be by myself. Thank you for this , I thought there’s something wrong when I’m by myself.

[@largealmond3085]

"No one really cares." Is something I've internalized recently. You can interpret it as being pessimistic and in the negative connotation of being "alone," but I feel like it can also provide great relief to know that this is your life and your life only, and that you should just do what makes you happy and feel like you're your best self

[@Laura-fh3sc]

Such a beautiful thought

[@BDogs10]

‘no one really cares’ is a mind blower but it’s ultimately true. Ppl are too concerned with their own situation (myself included)

[@ganngannv]

but some people really cares, u just have to be comfortable w that

[@edsanville]

This is called the "Spotlight Effect," and it's a beautiful realization to have.

[@musicalsanskriti]

You gave me a better Insight of something I never expected I would an I am very grateful for your wisdom Thank you❤

[@SiborgGamer]

For me this yearning for companionship was at its worst in high school. I'd go to school and sit for 6 hours alone never saying a word while everyone else was laughing smiling and talking, it really made me feel isolated and depressed me to no end. I'm glad those days are just a faint memory now. Your enviornment can really exasperate social problems like this imo

[@caroline-gx5cs]

Yep. After leaving high school, I feel way less lonely and overall happier at college. I was really tired of the same static environment I think

[@passionforMed4]

@@caroline-gx5cs damn Its my last year of high school and I think once I graduate I will be the happiest person ever, coz dealing with ppl who don t give a fuck about u really really sucks. I don t wanna see any of their face I am done with this shit. Just a year to go

[@RatchetReckless]

@@passionforMed4you sound just like me when I was in highschool 😭 keep going and stay strong ❤

[@dekxu6673]

i also thought and still think like this sometimes. I've been that kinda person in the past that would laugh and chat with their friends, and from experience, you're only seeing the good parts of their friendship and/or exaggerating what's really happening. Do you know how many relationships are melodramatic during high school? too many, I'll tell you that. You truly aren't missing out on much lol.

[@myracle97]

I always grew up believing that you HAD to have friends so I always made sure I was apart of some friend group or had a couple friends. I ended up giving so much of my time and energy to people who didn't respect me or who i realized at some point, i didn't even like. I realize now that if I would've been okay with being friendless I would've saved myself alot of pain. Lesson learned: being friendless is better than DESTROYING my peace with friendships that don't serve me. The right people will come in into my life if they're meant to be there, and if not, i'll still be happy alone. Awesome video!

[@songsparrow4324]

I lost my husband . .. it was just me and him. That paralyzed me though and now I've become the immovable object. I know I need to get up and do things alone. . . but the grief is so unbearable. Thank you for your post. . . really it will help to push me again. Thank you Via Li!!

[@CatieOcmand]

I believe in you. ❤

[@zodiac6669]

Hey just letting you know , it will be okay , I know it might not seem like it now , but eventually it'll be okay ❤

[@raymondalcantar1638]

Praying for you and your peace! God is there for you!

[@NilasJunkyard]

I am so sorry. I really am. I don't know who you are or what your name is, but I'll think about you and I hope you'll be okay.

[@gaby5546]

I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of love, strength and hugs.

[@dianaisdelulu]

"trust me, you'll find good people along the way, but as of now better yourself and do what makes you happy" - these words are truly amazing, just what I needed to hear. thank you❤

[@Hllee6428]

I truly love your raw honesty. Yeah, rather be lonely alone than to be lonelier in a group. It’s faster to snap out of the loneliness while being alone as you have the freedom to find activities to beat it…like finding new solo hobbies and learn things on your own.

[@yuckyhamsandwich]

I can relate to that sentiment. From the end of high school until my mid-30s, I've learned to accept this aspect of my life. Due to our frequent relocations, maintaining long-term friendships has proven to be quite challenging. I've always harbored the wish to have a close-knit group of female friends with whom I could chat, share snacks, shed tears during movies, and simply journey through life together. Unfortunately, this dream has yet to materialize for me. As I've grown older, forging female friendships has become even more elusive. It's not that I'm closed off to people, but when it comes to forming bonds with other women, luck has not been on my side. Really appreciate the honesty and openness

[@xoxolorae]

As someone who has always had lots of friends up until college, having a lot of friends is an illusion. I never had trouble making friends until I got into my 30s then realized how ANNOYING most people are lol. Now I’ll go eat out by myself, watch a movie, shop, etc etc. In fact, I prefer it because sometimes I want a break - from work, responsibilities, PEOPLE. That being said, if you make ONE good friend in your lifetime, you’re set. I firmly believe that. Whether it’s a best friend or a significant other, just look out for one good friend and that’s really all you’ll need. When you see these mass friend groups and people having fun, just remember that at least half of that group isn’t as close as you think they are. If you simply want people to hang out with or do stuff with, you can find hobby groups and subreddits and make friends easily. That’s what I do for gaming. But none of my online gaming friendships are substantial. We just play games. I don’t consider them real friends and that’s absolutely okay. In fact, that’s honest. My point is, don’t stress yourself out on feeling lonely unless it makes you depressed and unhappy. But if you actually enjoy your alone time or being able to do your own hobbies at your own time, don’t feel like you need to make friends just because that’s what society tells you is the norm. We live in an internet age, something I didn’t have growing up so people were sorta forced to interact. But not every physical interaction was a genuine friendship. Lots of fake friends along the way. I literally went through hundreds of “friendships” just to only have 1 or 2 real friends in the end. Now you can meet or talk to people online through social media if you want to just talk to people. But don’t be too fixated on forming some bff like you see in school. Just being able to engage even in youtube comments, can be enough to fulfill your social quota. I will choose evenings with my dog and bf anyday over having to deal with fake friends.

[@purplebunny7220]

Wow. What a comment. I agree!

[@Sara-kc6md]

HUNDREDS of friendships? What????? Never heard anyone say that before.

[@saraferguson1156]

Love this!! I have never really had friends. I’ve had acquaintances along the way but I am not a people person at all. It takes a lot out of me even going to work and interacting with people. Socializing is a terrifying thing for me and always has been. But I definitely agree with the part of your comment about how annoying people are. Within the last year or so I came to this realization. Not only are they annoying but they’re EXHAUSTING. it literally takes it out of me physically and mentally to have to interact with other people even just making small talk. Especially in our current social media/obsessed with going viral phase of society. Tik Tok has become a very toxic part of life and where I don’t use it I think that makes it harder to interact with most people and relate to things. I’ve also come to realize I’m better off alone. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s actually very beneficial for me. I have my family and people at work who support me and really that’s all I need.

[@hp2546]

Once you see how peaceful solitude life is, you will commit to them. All your life, you were forced to work with people at your job. Of course, that causes you to want peace in solitude life. I can see how this fits because you did state that if you make 1 good friend in your lifetime, you are set. That meant it did apply to your boyfriend. You viewed your boyfriend as your 1 good friend. Everything you said is based on quality is better then quantity. All those norms of society do not get to dictate how you live your life. Many listened to all those society norms which causes them to look down at their current fiance and it can cause them to refuse to see their fiance as their friend. So you are not like most of these people because you are not going to allow those society norms to trick you into looking down at your boyfriend. As long as you are happy with your boyfriend, you won't make an assumption that number of fake friends is better.

[@maxineyu7666]

I’m 35 and recently lost chose to walk away from my “core group” of friends. Sadly I came to realization they may not be my people and that’s okay. I also lost 2 of my best friends as we mutually parted ways. I think just being in different stages in life. It’s okay to be alone and enjoy your own company if that’s what feels right at the moment. I believe the right people will show up naturally if they’re meant to be in your life ❤

[@elliepascua2341]

♥️♥️

[@justdieuit]

❤

[@carmagurl317]

Same here....(36) and it is the most painful thing I've ever been through. I also had to quit my job and question when/how I will meet new ones if not through work. Lot of unknowns in the air, best of luck to you !

[@Exen88]

I concur.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

I did the same in my 30s.

[@debrawoodrick2889]

Don't let having no friends stop you from living. Good advice.

[@Burn143]

Your videos really do speak to me. I am shy, quiet, and introverted and ever since I was a kid, I had a hard time making and keeping friends. It used to be a big deal to me back then but now as i'm older and almost finished with college I realize that it's okay. I learned a lot about myself most importantly and really value my alone time. Sometimes it is a passing thought for me whether or not I should be having friends in my "golden years" but that's all it is, a passing thought. Not at all opposed to friendships, but I realize I am happiest with pure solitude.

[@irambonajasmine8155]

Same. As also a shy person making freinds is kinda of challenging. But I have also realized that sometimes freinship can make you be conformist and streap away your identity and value as a person. Being in a toxic freindship and now out. I can feel that I live a life where I can fully be myself without validating my opinions from another person.

[@Burn143]

@@irambonajasmine8155 You explained it so well, I agree. Friendship can strip someone of who they are. Also came out of a toxic friendship not too long ago, and I find myself even more liberated. It’s nice to be able to learn more about yourself as time goes on.💯💯

[@literaryhomegirl]

THANK YOU for always being so open and honest with yourself and your experiences!! especially as a young woman in her 20s its so great to see other young women in their 20s going through similar or relatable experiences. love your videos!! 💖

[@SimpleSerene]

Girl you have done it again. This came at a perfect time feeling of loneliness due to lack of community in my hometown. Knowing that I am not alone in this really helps! Truly the only person that will stay by your side is yourself. Friendships especially genuine ones are truly hard to come by and luckily able to find in college, but hometown not so much and summertime amplifies the feelings of loneliness. Always love your videos! Truly a gem in KZbin

[@보니쓰]

I also have no friends, and I used to hate this fact. Making friends is easy but i couldn’t be someone's best friend. Now I can distinguish loneliness from solitude. I decided to take good care of myself rather than using my energy outside. I enjoy solitude, but I don't feel lonely. I'm happy to meet you in the process of moving forward❤️‍🔥

[@ghkkkk7988]

I agree with this I also think that I can't be someone else's best friend because I created my own kinda space yeah this is how I'm feeling

[@wendyjung4616]

In my case, it seems like everyone has already their own circle of friends and it's hard to be part of an existing circle of people because it feels like I'm out of place

[@scarletblossom]

Same! I missed some sort of crucial moment where everyone found a friend group and ended up drifting between the outskirts of different groups

[@Blazeyy]

⁠​⁠@@wendyjung4616I relate to this too! Trying to be apart of a existing circle feels so weird and it’s hard to me to fit in. It’s funny cause whenever other people had tried to find into my existing circle with my former friends, they got along better with my former friends than me and it was like I was the new kid.

[@joymae]

There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely never forget it ladies ❤

[@jennifera573]

Being selective and discernment in relationship are incredible signs of maturity and individuation. Congratulations Via no matter what the world has to say, your opinion about you is all that counts. Wishing you all the happiness this world can provide. Great message. ❤

[@lillia2724]

It's okay to be alone. Learn how to find peace and enjoyment within it. But one thing for sure, you need a good support system. My story here is that, I've always loved and still love being by myself. I managed to enjoy a good book, learn new skills and did everything I ever really like. But some incidents that happened sometime ago made me realized that I don't have a support system at all. I cannot trust my family nor do I have any friends or close friends at all. Whenever I got into trouble with my moods and mental health condition(s), there was nobody to help me through them. I nearly die once cuz of this-- but it failed. And I see that many ppl here face this problem as well, literally zero friends. So I am going to say that, while it's okay to be alone and learn to love to it, make sure you keep trying to connect with others cuz it's a beautiful thing and you can save yourself too.

[@Elsa_this_side]

That line "don't ever let having no friends stop you from living your best life" ❤ this made me realize that crying about having no friends, continously blaming yourself for having no friends is useless instead focus on your goals, focus on being a better version of yourself, do what you love, being alone doesn't mean to be insecure about yourself, its completely okay remember you are alone not lonely ❤

[@ash00001]

I literally don’t have any friends and i feel this was written in the stars for me. I grew up popular and “pretty” but I drifted away from them into myself because I attract a lot of fake and envious people who just want to hurt me. I have become my best friend and I love myself so much. On the outside it looks lonely but on the inside it’s so amazing and freeing and time no longer exists.

[@justagirl0019]

That's kinda what i'm going through right now. Im very used to being in a big group but they've all been so fake recently and its really scary

[@lamaridechambao2105]

I'm on the same boat

[@juliegrom]

i'm literally going through that phase as well! I was an extrovert from a "cool gurls" group, but they all turned out to be my fake friends. Felt like they were just using me. I've been kicked out of 3 groups in three months😢It's just so hurtful and really sad. Everytime my teacher asks to find a group, they all stare at me weirdly and I'm always the left out one

[@lamaridechambao2105]

@@juliegrom that's f up

[@juliegrom]

@@lamaridechambao2105 seriously. yes. i mean now i love being alone so doesn't really matter tho. They're getting scolded from every teacher for being loud and swearing to teachers. Now I feel very glad to break friendships with them lmao.

[@iamyourchaerie]

recently I've lost my friendgroup but instead of crying over it I've been just feeling like any other normal day, it didn't phase me at all and I realised being alone feels so much better than wasting all your energy 24/7 doing non-sense. There were other amazing people that embraced me when this happened but I must say losing them made me feel much better. I actually pay attention to myself and try to things independently

[@lsmmhy]

I've lost my friendgroup two weeks ago, i didn't expected that, so i felt myself bad and sad, like a loser. I only had one online friend supporting me and no one at school, I went to school all this time alone, it affects my life so much. I strive for your actions and hope that I can spend time without friends

[@iamyourchaerie]

@@lsmmhy I can imagine your frustration :( try to think it in a positive way. Honestly I realised that being alone you will give off a more mature aura, you might think it’s embarrassing or loser type but actually it’s not that bad. We tend to overthink a lot without realising and that’s the main reason why we feel this way. I am glad you had someone by yourself side throughout this situation and I hope it gets better. Try to find new hobbies or expand your creativity, trust me I’ll help you ease yourself off negativity

[@surfacie_]

You're such a savior! I had this one friend who was really popular at school and everyone loved them, but the more friends they had the more I loathed them. I hated them so much even though they were my closest friend because I was so envious that they had what I didn't. I'm really a bad person and friend, but after watching your video, I realised that it wasn't worth it. I still regret breaking my friendship with them and all the bad things I did to them still haunt me every day. Your video made me realise that I can be the problem because, in fact, I kept blaming them for nothing when I betrayed them. I apologised to them and now I'm trying to be the better version of myself. Having no friends makes me happier, and I'm glad that someone reminded me. Thanks for everything

[@cultivation4lfe]

I used to be ashamed of having no friends but now that I’m here I’m trying to learn to be alone with myself and not take it too hard on myself, thank you.

[@gfuscs]

I literally have zero, not one. Let's all be friends. Loneliness seems to be getting more prevalent but no one is connecting 😢

[@bubbles6299]

😭😭😭

[@ericarodriguez3356]

Agree 😕

[@illyrian3057]

Can we be friends

[@Elizabeth-fw4rm]

Literally me

[@gillianr7222]

Same. I make them, I think we're on the same page, and then they move on. At this point there's no one close to me anymore.

[@zahrakyatt5192]

I feel like I really needed to hear this back in high school. I always felt the need to be surrounded by people who I considered "friends" but who never truly made me feel accepted and loved. I found that sitting by myself and reading books gave me the chance to explore the things that truly mattered to me, because in reality I didn't need them to complete me. But now that I'm in uni I have slowly started to make healthy friendships that don't tear me apart but build me up to be the best version of myself! And that's what friendship truly is! 💗

[@znhway9]

i really love the way she talks she makes me feel really ok and give me that good energy,thank u

[@Fairygelic]

I have “friends” at work but I constantly feel like they’re judging me and secretly dislike me. Really hurts because I’ve been alone for awhile and thought I was finally making genuine friendships.

[@indigoGoddess7]

Those aren’t friends. They’re colleagues.

[@papina54]

Exactly. Friends and work can't collide. If It Is meant to be, you will keep in touch outside the business, otherwise we are still a billion or more peeps on earth, go on.

[@hufflepuffkiwi804]

Of course colleagues can be friends. Not every nice colleague is your friend automatically, but you technically can make genuine friends at work, depending on the environment of course.

[@bigmomma3265]

I know many people who’ve made genuine friends at work. Also, when you don’t have friends, it’s easy to get paranoid and think people don’t like you when you start making new ones. Everyone likes you just fine!

[@Heayu05]

I’m 20 but I have no real frnds to talk about to share my feelings , to chill out with . When I see others hanging out with their frnds , creating memories and having fun it’s hurt that why I am all alone . But I am living this like for 3 years now thanks to Covid . But living like this I have learnt a lot about real relationships and frndships and lot about myself .

[@HawaHashia]

Same also 20 and I feel you really

[@TheCentennial4]

Bro don't worry about it. Your same friends could have been strangers you drove past on the freeway and see for 0.01 second before they are gone for good. Same saying for them. They only lucked out due to proximity meeting their friends.

[@ourpreciousyoongi]

same

[@Samzo2002]

I’m 21, I feel for you. I’ve reached a point in my life where I just gave up. I’ve accepted my fate that I would be alone for the rest of my life. Till that day I will just try my best to chase my goals, look after my mother.

[@cannibalcatgirl]

This was really comforting to me. I lost all my friends from school due to being traumatized and isolated and no one checked on me. Or ever asked why I disappeared. For some reason I have it in my head I need a friend to justify going and getting a coffee or exploring a bookstore or whatever else. When in reality I can enjoy those things on my own. I guess having someone to talk to would be nice. But I am a little weird from my life experiences so it’s hard to find people I relate to. I feel like a weird witch or hermit or something isolated with my cats in a remote area. I struggle with depression so i am bad at responding to messages. It sucks to feel so isolated, but I guess it does create room to really be able to live in the moment and be less worried about what others think.

[@katec9893]

Your story is so similar to mine. I lost most of my friends due to being traumatised and depressed. And struggled to make any new ones, I'm not sure why, I often wonder if people think I'm weird or something. I have started to think I'm just meant to be a lone woman with animals, who I get on much better with than a lot of people. I would like to have a few local friends too though, people who like and accept me whether I am depressed or not.

[@cannibalcatgirl]

@@katec9893 Wow yess You totally get it. Being traumatized and isolated during those teenage years, those key socializing, developmental years feels very damaging to how I process socializing now. Like I have to work harder than other people and over think more. Some days I just am working very hard to keep myself together and my critters love me regardless. Their consistency is comforting. It is SO hard to make new friends. Especially ones that understand. Just knowing someone's out there to grab coffee with every now and then would be a nice feeling. Honestly knowing you relate so much makes me feel less alone, though I am so sorry you are going through the same struggle.

[@audreyrenee]

I’m the same way. If I want to go out and do things if I don’t have a friend or people I can hang out with I become less motivated to do it. Especially going out to eat alone

[@ngndnd]

i struggle with making friends bc im always afraid of not even being considered a 2nd choice bc in middle school i was always the last person to get picked when it came to choosing partners or being in groups@@katec9893

[@animalkingdom6491]

I’m finally learning to love myself which is the best thing not just for myself, but people around me, too. I even started thanking myself for doing something for myself and it feels great! You really need to be your first best friend.

[@ixd7mi808]

THIS

[@Epstein989]

Growing up I was feeling the same like you did. Now in my 30’s I’m really comfortable with having a few close friends. For introverts like me who don’t really enjoy social events, having few friends do more good than harm. It’s best to invest time in meaningful friendships.

[@YeenQueenCreations]

Girl this helped me so much I’ve been hating myself so much lately and this has gave me hope and knowing that there are other people suffering the same issues I am makes me feel less alone in this world

[@vl1180]

Omg! I didn’t realize there were so many people like me😢 it’s so refreshing to see others opening up about not having friends. I have only had acquaintances but never a bestie or deep friendships. I’m 34 😂 I know my issue is pushing people away because I don’t feel good enough to be others friend and I lack the consistency to maintain relationships. I’m an avoidant . I want to change this about myself but being alone is so seductive I have to push myself to want to be around other people and tell myself it will be better than being alone. Thank you for sharing your story via❤

[@writerforlifeify]

I love that concept...the seductiveness of being alone; solitude is addictive! Because it can be so peaceful.

[@karthikvijay5678]

You are so right girl to not let others live your best life 😭 thank you ❤🙏

[@1astWish]

Honestly, this video was quite relatable. I’ve also struggled to hold on to my friendships because of the struggle to fit in. However, knowing there’s people out there like me, struggling with so much more, I don’t feel lonely. I feel happy knowing there’s someone to share the pain with ;)

[@anne-qf7pn]

Damn, I really needed this. Thank you for telling this to the world. Doesn’t mean you’re in a group, you’re included. Feeling like an outcast. That hits hard. It’s like I feel so fine being alone but society keeps showing me that if no one is everyone you, you may be unliveable or you’re not popular. But it’s normal to get along with everyone. I always see groups being together but honestly, they don’t look happy together. They just portray a certain image to show, “We have friends, we’re so-called close”. It’s just suffocating.

[@solfernandez5201]

i just want her to know how much her words help me when i feel lost ❁ཻུ۪۪♡

[@Moon_lulu]

wow how do u do that emoji. So cool

[@evelinar8932]

​@@Moon_luluYESS I NEED TO KNOW TOO

[@solfernandez5201]

@@Moon_luluhahsh "cute heart symbols" on Google 😂 select, copy, that thing

[@mrcasper09]

I am in my early 50s and realized how much time and effort I invested in people who are so quick to leave your life and not be there for you when other interests come up (family, job, marriage, etc..). I just wasn't as important to them as I had thought.

[@karmasutra4774]

Same thing! 51 here and my feelings have been hurt when I see that I am there when someone wants to hang and when I want to they aren't available or dismiss me. It's not just you ❤

[@sayuri7576]

It’s pleasing to see you looking happier and happier with each video. Your situation somewhat aligns with mine and this gives me confidence in knowing that I’m not alone

[@chocopieomg]

i love this. I'm 31 and looked back at my life recently. I spent my 20s chasing to be successful (building my career and being financially stable). Along the way, I've let go the idea of friendships and never tried to save any dying friendships. When someone gets too close, I close up and build a wall. Now I have acquaintances but really no true friends but I've learned to be OK with that. So I agree with every point you made!

[@Moon_lulu]

This reminds me of a book called "The Little Prince". Hopefully you find good friends you feel safe to be around with! 🤍

[@lolgames5337]

This video hits hard😭 I was lonely for half of my life and I always thought I wasn’t good enough to make any friends so I did everything to be “perfect”. It helped me in my school since I just did everything perfectly so I had no flaws or reason for people to not like me. However, as time time went by I noticed that I was trying so hard for nothing. Even though I was “perfect”, no one wanted to make friends with me. They just said “wow you are amazing” and that was it. After a while, I basically started focusing on myself. I already made 8 friends when highschool started. Even after all this, I would never forget the mindset or feelings I had when I was alone so no one would feel left out around me.

[@Appealingpotato]

This is so true. Before the past 2 year, I have been alone for so long. 2 years ago, I decided that I am going to make an active effort to make friends. To go outside, socialise with people and try to put myself out there. I made 3 friends in this whole process and people who I genuinely enjoy hanging out with. I needed a support system. I needed someone to interact with apart from my boyfriend so I don't depend on him for all my emotional needs. I felt I didn't have many people in life and this became my goal. Although the friends I have made aren't people who drain my energy or unlike me - I feel like I have lost my identity in this journey of focusing on just making friends. I feel like I need to cater to everyone, like certain interests that other people can relate to, be the fun one in the group and more. In the process of fitting in and feeling like I belong I have stopped doing the things that I enjoy. This video really resonated with me. I am going to focus on doing things I genuinely enjoy from now on.

[@milkshake8931]

I've been lonely all my life. As a kid I couldn't socialize as easy as the other kids. I've really only had 2 friendship in my 17 years of living. Both made me feel insecure. I started to wonder why I wasn't as pretty as them, as soical and fortunate. When I ended my friendship with my 2nd friend I was completely alone, but I truly never felt more like myself. With it did come more compassion. I questioned why no one wanted to be my friend but wanted to be hers. Slowly I've been learning to embrace who I truly am and present myself as her in school. Currently I learning to not see myself as lesser than, something I've been labeled as by my peers because of the friendship I had with these girls. Literally people would think I'm a follower 🙄 even though more than half the things they did was because of me. I feel detaching myself from a person made me become best friends with myself and understand myself better. It still hurts when I see them happy and with the people I wish were my friends Ps I didn't notice how much I wrote. Maybe you can make a video about comparing yourself to others when it come to relationships, your videos are always pack filled with the best advice.

[@Blazeyy]

I relate to this. I been lonely in the friendship space all my life as well. Yes, I had friends in elementary but they wasn’t really my friends, it was just people I associated with during school hours. I never really had “real” friends until middle school, but I never really cared for friends back then, I kept to myself and focused on school and I was fine. In middle school, things started to change cause I was in a new school and I started thinking about having friends. So I met my middle school best friend after play fighting in the playground. Apparently he had no friends too. We talked after and we shared the same interests and quickly became best friends. He actually introduced me to the complete world of video games as well as expanding on my interest in superheroes. Things were going good in our friendship and it looked like I found a friend for life. Unfortunately, I didn’t know this but he was the most hated and most bullied kid in school, teachers, other students and staff didn’t like him. Even the special education kids bullied him. So one day when we was walking and talking in the playground, the special ed kids playfully attacked my friend from behind. When they saw me, they greeted me with handshake. I guess my friend was pissed because the special ed kids didn’t attack me too. I think this the first seed of jealously and hatred my friend started to feel towards me. Things got worse as time went on, the popular girls would hug me and say “ew” to him and the popular boys would ignore me and give me a handshake. Despite the way everyone treated him, I never treated my friend negatively and always considered him an equal. I guess it wasn’t enough because he wanted my life I guess. So my friend started doing shady stuff, he lied to the teacher on me, accusing me of doing something wrong and when I confronted him about it, he was smirking like it was a joke. I let it slide but looking back down, I should have stopped being friends with him. Unfortunately, my goofy ahh remained friends with him and in middle school, there was no other options because the majority of the boys were troublemakers while I was a goody two shoes. Not only that but when me and him were cool, we would have some great talks about topics we both enjoy unlike anyone else I met, so I felt attached to him despite him being a complete asshole. The sad thing I thought he would mature and change but he just got worse, at least towards me. After he ended our friendship, I was completely alone and hasn’t met anyone who shared the same interests we did or cared enough to want to be my friend. It hurt when I saw my friend hanging out with other people and wishing they were my friends because we shared the same interests and if they put their jealously towards me aside, we could have great times. I eventually got over it and now I am chilling. I am glad I am not friends with him anymore, I have matured and learnt a lot. I think it’s better to be alone than to be in a friend group with people who secretly or openly are jealous of you and despise you. That’s why now, even though I have no friends yet, I am happy by myself and rather have genuine, loving friends in my life. I know they are out there and can’t wait until I find or they find me.

[@Technified]

HUGE THANK YOU for saying that it's okay to not have any friends! Before telling/explaining this to others, we ourselves need to be okay with the fact. It took me a LONNNNNGGGGG time for that acceptance to set in, but I did get there eventually! 😌

[@KingKong-dx3dp]

I've been in my hermit phase and took time away for myself especially coming out of a void state of mind where i had felt abandoned by previous friends... I took time for myself rebuilt myself made myself laugh and sat with myself... recently i had found myself back in the social space of old workmates who are particularly toxic and i felt myself more lonely surrounded by all these fake faces who indulge in talking about each other behind their backs, i left that situation faster than i arrived because I figured its more fun when im alone and I don't feel lonely

[@Jane909-9]

This is the video I needed now ❤. Thank you for sharing this. I just lost a very close friend this year. She didn't die but I just realize that she really not cared as much as I feel I deserved. And this event causes me to reconsider those people that surrounds me. Then I realize I have been holding to the memories of our past but it isn't worth pursuing anymore. Trying to be positive in life and still thankful I have a great family that supports me and really cared for me. ❤❤🎉 .

[@surabhi3113]

7:45 this section hits so close to home. I had a very similar experience with a close friend of mine. And the feeling of liberation after it ended is so real, not to say they were a bad friend but I feel like I have no restrictions in the decisions I make for myself now. Thank you Via for today's video. It truly felt like a warm hug I needed💛

[@justiceforall007]

So your video randomly showed up on my KZbin feed- it breaks my heart that so many young people are without friends. You are at the prime time of your life and so deserving of people you can share your life, interests, and soul with, regardless of being "okay" without. May the second half of 2023 bring you good and supportive friends.❤

[@markmushyguy]

Also Via I LOVE how you said, “This is pretty common in your 20s”… PREACH. PREACH

[@leslayyy634]

Thank you for this love. I lost a lot of friends in the past years and I read somewhere that we don't really lose people, we just return them.

[@clarityzhang3277]

This video came at a perfect time :). Like you, my lack of close friendships has been THE major point of insecurity for virtually my entire life, and it resulted in a crippling lack of self-esteem for the entirety of my formative years. Being alone for so long, however, made me realize that all those things I thought I wasn't capable of doing, all the things I felt I was too weak for... I could totally achieve them, just on my own, with no one else's help. I'm in better shape than I've ever been, I eat better, I go on walks alone and with my trusted partner, I hike wherever I want, I read good books. It's lonely, but I feel almost... fuller? I guess? Whereas when I was trying desperately to make friends a few months before and after spending time with them I just feel like, empty, and like this person or these people don't give a tumpany fuck about what I like and what kind of person I am. I'm sure they didn't mean to come off that way, but it feels awful all the same. It's just so much more peace for my mental to not have to second-guess people and wonder if they secretly hated me, or if I'm boring them or annoying them or offending them. I've got myself and I've got a partner I've never once had reason to doubt (which I recognize makes me more blessed and fortunate than most people) and that's enough for me. I certainly hope I meet more people I can trust, and love, and share, and be with! It just feels like it's hard to meet good people whom I would actually *want* to be friends with nowadays, lol

[@justabookwormhere5940]

Yeah I relate to this so much. But for me, it's like I do have a friend group it's just that they have friends that they are much closer with than me, and sometimes it feels like if I don't talk or chat with them first, a conversation doesn't start. Which then makes me feel lonely or alone even though I have a group. It's like I really have to be the one to make an effort for something to actually happen.

[@RichardVialva-d9m]

Seem's like she's doing fine without friends. Brilliant woman❤❤

[@sautheartist]

I’ve always had friends all my life, but now that I’m 30, and I went through a difficult 2 weeks of my life, when I needed they’re companionship the most they weren’t there. So I spent the entire 2 weeks completely alone and I had no one else but me my self and I, I realized that I was stronger than I thought.

[@rougeur]

"I have no friends, but I'm not alone in my financial journey. I'm investing in my future, one stock at a time. No distractions, no peer pressure, just me and my financial goals. Solo doesn't mean lonely; it means focused. And in the market, focus is key to success."

[@AllisonSherman657]

I agree with you and I believe that the secret to financial stability is having the right investment ideas to enable you earn more money, I don’t know who agrees with me but either way I recommend either real estate or bitcoin and stocks.

[@face2lune]

I invested 10k in Robin hood and 401k about a year ago and it steadily went down, now my portfolio is down to $800. I don't know what to do and i am in between jobs....

[@rougeur]

@@face2lune Understanding your financial needs and making effective decisions is very essential. If I could advise you, you should seek the help of a financial advisor. For the record, working with one has been the best for my finances.

[@face2lune]

@@rougeur I’m Glad i stumbled on this. Please, if its not too much of a hassle for you, can you drop the details of the CFP that assisted you and how to get in touch….

[@rougeur]

@@face2lune I get guidance from *Susan Tori Davis* Most likely, the internet should have her basic info..

[@M1rizzy]

It takes a lot of confidence to actually make videos like this 😂😭 Although i enjoy the company of my friends, sometimes going out alone etc is actually quite fun since you can plan out where you wanna go rather than going with whatever your friends say.

[@Haneul_Sky]

The line "I deserve to have friends despite having mental issues" made my heart clench. I tried to keep my friendships and did anything to fix them until I just couldn't anymore and my depression became the best of me. Then, this ex guy friend told me straight up that people would like me more if I wasn't depressed. Like, bro - Do you think I wanted to be? Part of the reason why I just don't want to have friends anymore. I feel guilty by talking about my problems because I feel like I'm only inconveniencing the person. I may have two that I am attached to but in the end I'm trying to distance myself because I feel unworthy of anyone's love. I blame myself for everything and anything even when I subconsciously know that it wasn't my fault. Social anxiety and depression are very real and it destroys your life completely. Telling someone that they can't have friends when they have mental issues is like telling them to go jump off a bridge. Loneliness over time will eat you up. It's happening to me but I try to hang on somehow. Just don't know why I'm doing this.

[@Marc_Smith]

I think that the key word that we are forgetting here is "balance" and "moderation" which is key in all we do in life. I believe that having tons of non-meaningful friends that will not allow you to truly recognize our true selves is definitely not good, BUT having no friends at all is not good either! Having friends, and relationships in general is part of life, with all of its ups and downs! Laughing with a friend is part of a friendship as much as getting upset with him/her. Having new friends, moving away from old friends that you believe you don't connect anymore, traveling with friends (and also solo), arguing with your best friend, finding out that "best" friend is not that trustworthy, finding a friend's shoulder to cry, etc etc is all part of LIFE! It brings joy and lessons!

[@AprilPerkinson]

OHHHH THANK YOUUUUUU!!!! I was just on youtube looking for a meditation to help a friend with sadness and I was thinking how I feel so lonely... and sad.. myself.. but this was BRILLIANT!!!! I am RE-INSPIRED!!!! Thank you !!

[@indiaboricua2075]

I used to have a lot of friends, and believed me, the less people you have in your life, the better things would be for you. ❤Most of them envy you or use you.

[@siny10]

I just came across your channel and I am so happy about it. I could relate to each and every word that you said. All throughout my middle and high school I didn't have any friends and that made me feel pathetic about myself. I used to beat up myself so much over it. Only to realize that it is okay to be a loner and it is okay to be by yourself. Thank you for making this video and being so honest. I was wrapping up a difficult day and now with your video I will be able to end the night on a happy and relaxed note. You are amazing! Keep being you :)

[@enjisilverstone-nolongerac7533]

The thing is there’s drama *EVERYWHERE* it’s inevitable! It’s so toxic and I prefer to just have my solo time

[@alleycat2297]

so much outfit inspiration in one video! that aside, thank you for making this. i've always wanted to be that person who can go to coffee shops and museums alone, dress up for myself, take care of myself and genuinely just have a good time, and this makes me feel like less of a freak. i can relate to losing friends because of your mental struggles. def want to be able to normalize just being my dream person w/o the need to search for external happiness. maybe the distinction between internal happiness and external happiness needs to be explored more? either way, i'm going to be rewatching this a lot on days when i need to remind myself that it's ok to be lonely, and my life circumstances put me where i am but compared to where i was then and where i am now, i'm doing pretty ok for myself.

[@prangya44]

Proud of myself for being strong without any support and even if I'm lonely i won't lower my self just to get into a friends circle, even if i have to suffer alone and i can and will wipe my own tears even if there are plenty of people out there but in the end i will be the one who got used :⁠-⁠\

[@via.ilyouu]

proud of you too love! but trust me, your people will come someday but as of now, you gotta live your best life 🩷🩷

[@prangya44]

@@via.ilyouu 🫶🥹uk i always asked myself why people are afraid to be alone?? Like it doesn't make u look like u are weak bec we fight alone we cry alone we admire alone like that we shine alone so why can't we normalize being alone? Ik being depressed typa lonely is kinda bad but then it's different right? Why people just assume u are not a good/kind/fun person to hangout with just because you like being in peace?? Like whyyyy

[@hopefaraway_]

@@prangya44my thoughts exactly.

[@hopefaraway_]

@@prangya44 people who judge others for being alone most of the time, i feel, are actually projecting their insecurity i.e., the fear of being seen alone

[@prangya44]

@@hopefaraway_ facts 😌✋✨

[@ece9918]

ever since my triple friendship group (a group where i felt like an outsider all the time) ended, i've noticed that being lonely by yourself is better than hanging out with people who make you feel lonely !! even though i knew this deep inside, it still felt good to hear it from you and im grateful 😌