I'm a Heroin Addict. (The Truth About Everything)

Opening up about my abuse. This was very hard to film. It's extremely personal and it's hard putting this kind of story out there for people to leave their opinions on. It was long overdue, though. I've talked about this on Twitter and Instagram; but typing pieces of it on there is one thing, while telling the full story to nearly 2 million subscribers is another. Thank you for listening, I hope to see a lot of you continue to stick around and watch me grow. I'm two months clean and hope to put this chapter of my life behind me. This is the story of the last two years of my life, my emotionally and verbally abusive relationship, and how everything in my life fell apart. I am now putting the pieces back together and am looking forward to continue to share my passion of animals with y'all and my love of entertainment.
SECOND VIDEO TO WATCH AFTER THIS ABOUT MY REHAB EXPERIENCE: • My Experience in Rehab...
*Guide through this video*
0:00- Opening, Introduction
7:00 - Trigger Warning
7:15- the start up of my channel
11:27- quitting my job
13:22- I start the story about my relationship
19:42- my first encounter with drugs
24:00- bad experiences while living w my boyfriend (talks about a lot of incidents with drugs)
41:15- how I ended up shooting heroin for the first time, and my addiction story to it follows.
1:00:00- How I Got Sober
------------------------
IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION, THERE IS HOPE.
IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN. There's no such thing as too far gone, there's no such thing as a hopeless case. Recovery is possible for everyone.
National Substance Abuse Hotline: [phone]-HELP (4357)
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: Call 1-800-799-7233
www.womenshealth.gov/relation...
IF YOU HAVE LOVED ONES STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION/ALCOHOLISM:
PLEASE consider going to Al-Anon! This is a free, fully anonymous program for NON ADDICTS affected by the disease. Basically, if a toll is being taken on your life in any way due to a struggling addict in your life (Rather it be your partner, brother, sister, mom, grandpa, friend, etc) this program is made for you. It's a place you can go that helps you heal from any pain, let go of any resentments, gain knowledge about why things have happened in your relationship with the addict, etc. It is not a place for addicts, but a place for the loved ones of addicts. This place does not work around making a victim out of the addict. You do not even have to have the addict in your life currently or ever again to truly benefit from this program. These meetings are always locally run, and some flow better than others based on your personality. I'd highly suggest googling Al-Anon (NOT AA, this is different) meetings in your area and attending one, and if you don't like it, try another one the next time you're free. I have heard nothing but amazing comments from people who have attended. It truly helps you understand what is happening in the addicts brain, and provides you with a safe understanding environment so share and heal. And if you have been affected by an addict, you absolutely deserve clarity and to heal.
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WATCH MORE:
My Latest Videos - goo.gl/6Bwvua
CLICK TO SUBSCRIBE TO SUPPORT ME AND MY ANIMALS: goo.gl/1GlVxm
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FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
TWITTER: / taylorndean
INSTAGRAM: / taylorndean
SNAPCHAT: @TAYLORNDEAN
--------------------------

[@taylorndean]

***Families, Friends, and Partners of Current or Former Struggling Addicts PLEASE Read* First off, I never could've predicted such an amazing outpour of support in which I am receiving from this video. I posted a more in-depth thank you on instagram (@taylorndean) if you'd like to hear more of what I have to say. I truly cannot thank you all for being so open minded and kind enough, I love you guys so much, thank you for being a part of my healing. Secondly, IF YOU HAVE LOVED ONES STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION/ALCOHOLISM: PLEASE consider going to Al-Anon! This is a free, fully anonymous program for NON ADDICTS affected by the disease. Basically, if a toll is being taken on your life in any way due to a struggling addict in your life (Rather it be your partner, brother, sister, mom, grandpa, friend, etc) this program is made for you. It's a place you can go that helps you heal from any pain, let go of any resentments, gain knowledge about why things have happened in your relationship with the addict, etc. It is not a place for addicts, but a place for the loved ones of addicts. This place does not work around making a victim out of the addict. You do not even have to have the addict in your life currently or ever again to truly benefit from this program. These meetings are always locally run, and some flow better than others based on your personality. I'd highly suggest googling Al-Anon meetings in your area and attending one, and if you don't like it, try another one the next time you're free. I have heard nothing but amazing comments from people who have attended. It truly helps you understand what is happening in the addicts brain, and provides you with a safe understanding environment to share and heal. And if you have been affected by an addict, you absolutely deserve clarity and to heal.

[@__mcat]

you could also just tell people to not do drugs, not pick up the needle like you did...

[@rileybateson9583]

Taylor Nicole Dean we love you Taylor you are amazing your body is a temple please don’t destroy it with this sickening drug

[@amynewbery6408]

mauracat what’s your problem? Can’t you see how much of a struggle this is for her to talk about? Try to put yourself in her shoes....

[@potetsaus2755]

Woaw

[@mackenziemiller2287]

mauracat as if the story she told about her struggle with addiction didn’t convey the message enough?? She’s obviously trying to show people the dangers of drugs and abusive relationships by sharing her own experiences while also reaching out to her audience. Taylor, please don’t let the negative comments get to you. You are so strong for getting through this, thank you for sharing your story. We’re all very proud of you for getting better ❤️

[@clarallandrs7799]

I’m leaving my fiancée tonight. You have given me strength. I found needles in his room, he’s been an addict for 8 years. While with me he’s been on methadone. He’s lied. Cheated. Abused me. I needed this strength. I’m scared of him. EDIT: for everyone whose commented, nearly a year later my life is wonderful, I’ve met another man, I’ve a new job, sure I think of all the pain and makes me incredibly sad and angry but I have never looked back! Xxx

[@emmabrown7968]

Praying and sending positive vibes your way

[@ile3071]

aolx Ox I hope things are good for you in the future. I know you’re strong , you can and will start a new beautiful life. ❤️

[@hamdam6649]

Oh god hope it goes well

[@blossomblueberry6661]

Hope everything goes well

[@bxby.littzeyy403]

Remember your better without him Stay strong❤️❤️😭

[@TheMaariaanaa]

I am an addict... Coke and alcohol, mostly. 60 days clean here. Hard af but I'm trying. Edit: november 26th. Still clean and sober. Edit2: december 18th. Doing good. :) Thanks everyone for the support

[@Psychoclaw]

You're doing great!

[@TheMaariaanaa]

@@daytonvinz6352 thank you.

[@TheMaariaanaa]

@@diannasolano9224 thanks!

[@TheMaariaanaa]

@@Psychoclaw thanks!

[@minhdo3482]

Ure beautiful. N u can do it

[@ninstendo1416]

Been addicted to xanax for about a year now. Im on it right now. I finally told my family about it yesterday & im going to get help. Pray for me this shit is awful. Ive been having seizures & shit. Drugs are the fucking devil. Im sure every addict never thought they would be in this position... congrats to everyone who got off drugs. I love you all sm ❤❤❤

[@augustesagatyte6108]

How are you doing now? I hope ur better xoxo

[@anirbansarkar2942]

how are you doing now brother?

[@Femmebutstillathem]

How are you?

[@secretaryofoffense7118]

Im 3 years from xanax, i CT'd. Dont ever do that, look into Ashton's manual. Benzos are the fucking devil.

[@jackystar5099]

Hope everything is going well

[@enmauel162]

she as a lot of balls to share a video like this not a lot of people can do that

[@michaelrojas3307]

It’s not that hard just post a video

[@ThatHonestGuy]

It is brave to be this transparent. Good on her.

[@shapesandlines7106]

@@michaelrojas3307 it may be triggering for some people to go out and share their story

[@augustesagatyte6108]

@@michaelrojas3307 its the same as coming out. She knows that millions of people will see this and a lot of people will probably judge her. Imagine how stressful and scary

[@nafisaali291]

@@michaelrojas3307 it’s not just a video. it’s literally coming out to the world & confessing your deepest and darkest secret.

[@nikithesnakelady8912]

Delete the dealers number. Cut out anyone who uses. They will make you want to use. Temp you. Please block the numbers and delete them.

[@aaguon1047]

Niki The Snake Lady Best advice I’ve seen on here. If your serious about getting clean, give yourself a serious start over and get rid of anything tied to your old lifestyle. You deserve the best chance at success and sobriety.

[@canitbechristine]

Big time yes to this.

[@witchymommy9444]

Most addicts have their dealers numbers memorized. I know I did.. unfortunately

[@maceyx5794]

YESSS

[@RowanBuchananroabie]

Exactly. Let them all go, they will try to drag you back down and make you feel bad for getting better, guilt you. I stopped following you for a time, Taylor(if you even see this), but I'm so happy to see that you've made these steps. I don't know how the mental and emotional journey went, how it got here, but it took your willpower and strength in the end. And I'm rooting for you! I think you've got this, and everyone wanted to see you get healthier. Even if there's kindness in you that tries to forgive these people, or tries to give them second chances, or hear them out, ignore it and just shut them out because most hardcore addicts, especially your dealers, don't want to see you get better because for other addicts who don't care anymore, they get jealous and angry at your success and obviously, the dealers want your money. And nothing else. They just want to use you

[@adrianp1725]

That person isn't your assistant, that's a good friend.

[@deadfred821]

*family* In the words of Sly Stone, "it's not about the blood, it's about the love."

[@ashleigh18v]

*enabler

[@shubunkin.goldfishtank]

She's so lucky to have a real good friend like her!

[@tabbycat3610]

@@ashleigh18v 👎

[@trinad7602]

@@ashleigh18v maybe to begin with but if you take her out of the equation Taylor would not be sober today so I'm pretty sure she's no longer considered an enabler

[@r3viv3d94]

Not that anyone cares but i'm 7 weeks clean of self harm(suicidal harm) :)

[@augustesagatyte6108]

Same but its only about 4 weeks :)))))

[@oliviajayne7550]

I care ❤️

[@augustesagatyte6108]

2 months clean now

[@ameliabarrett2166]

your doing great 🥺🤍

[@dome6356]

Yea we don’t care

[@marianatrench5557]

It's sad watching her relapse one more time and having contact with Jonny once again... I know it's part of the process but God, I wish she finds the right path just like she once did. All my best wishes for you Taylor.

[@Mo.2711]

Why are you assuming this? I really hope she is doing okay 😥

[@kkelss]

@@Mo.2711 didn’t she confirm it somewhere? I think it was Instagram or something.

[@Mo.2711]

@@marianatrench5557 oh okay, thank you..

[@OurWorldAhead]

@@Mo.2711 she's also made a video about it about a month ago now (I know your comment is older than her recent video, just in case you were curious)

[@LexieAnneCole]

Update: She just posted her one year sober video 😊

[@brianb2454]

I’m 26 years old and after 12 overdoses and 2 seizers from heroine and cocaine, IM NOW 2 YEARS SOBER!!! Life is worth living! You got this!!

[@Scorpiobw]

Good for you! Keep doing what ur doing. Ppl u don't even know are rooting for you. 🖤

[@brianb2454]

@@Scorpiobw thank you!!

[@autumntilman3044]

Congratulations!!! That is amazing

[@KR-xt1if]

Brian B I never got told that people were proud of me as a kid or teen, I don’t know your story but you still deserve to hear it too... IM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU

[@joshuapetrey883]

Sober**

[@mllee2008]

The drummer who quit the band and reached out to your mom is a phenomenal human being!

[@5050TM]

Agreed.

[@biancat7761]

Yeah he's the real mvp of the story tbh

[@haibecca]

Zack Baker is the sweetest boi ❤

[@Jen18812]

I agree, yes!

[@ellej6985]

mllee2008 I was thinking that ❤️ I think Taylor is still recovering but as she gets to think about it she will realise how amazing that guy was

[@alyssa-nv7uc]

My sister is a heroin addict of 17 years. I’ve known her longer as an addict than when she wasn’t. She just relapsed after two years clean and went back to her ex. I never understood why she couldn’t stop and I was so angry with her. This video really helped me see the other side of addiction and understand what she may be going through. Thank you and I’m so proud of you for being clean and sharing your story ❤️

[@Chloestewart._21]

How’s she doing now? Good I hope for both of you ❤️

[@recluseren]

How is she now?

[@larac5581]

I hope she is well

[@kw2062]

I saw your interview on VICE. I came her to see more. I just wanted to say thank you for doing the interview. I’ve never taken any drugs in my life, but homeless drug addicts in my neighborhood is common. I always wondered how do these people get addicted in the first place? What was that turning point? What kind of life did they have before drugs? Your interview shed some light to my questions.

[@brittneydeyling5566]

I have never tried hard drugs in my life! I waited until 20 to try weed but never was addicted. And I tried a hard drug for the first time at 27 and got a little bit addicted there for awhile. I just tried it once for a fun night and because my lover did it and struggled BAD w it. I felt safe and all of sudden started craving it and craving the high. It kinda creeps up on you. But luckily, I was strong enough to have the sense to just be like NOPE this is not me. And once I put my mind to something I do it. Some ppl can’t. Some just mentally can’t do it as well as physically and the mental part is the worst part of it because that what makes or breaks you or what keeps you stuck. Most ppl can’t help themselves and can’t think themselves out of it and know they are worth it. And struggle and keep doing it. It’s so sad. I always said I would NEVER do that kinda stuff because my mom is a severe addict and struggles w bipolar and depression and I had to live w such a messy home life. But sometimes it just happens under the lightest weirdest circumstances. I still don’t get it and I’ve been around it, lived w it and experienced it. But everyone can change. I hope you have a good day!

[@Deadpoolio47]

Props to the drummer for choosing to leave and to call your mother, that guys a real human.

[@onetabbymouthatbedtime8719]

And he seems like the ONLY mature ADULT in all this mess.

[@evamandic9263]

one tab by mouth at bedtime p

[@hellohello-xz9ei]

Wish she ended up with him insted of the duch

[@EYE_GOTCHA]

hello hello What’s a “duch”? Or perhaps you meant “douche”...?

[@lizziebertelson7605]

I mean...if you know who this is about, it's not a shocker hes had bandmates leave. Wouldn't not be the first time. And hes deep into his addiction already again.

[@alexandercarder2281]

I was on heroin for 16 years. I’ve been clean now for two years.

[@georgielockhart6686]

Congratulations 🎊 I'm so happy for you. Especially after such a long addiction. You're an inspiration.

[@alexandercarder2281]

Thankyou bro. I got to a point we’re I didn’t think I would ever be free and thought that death was my only option. But thanks to my belief in Jesus and my families help and my son Callum and my pastor who came to me in my flat back then, I found strength I didn’t know was there. Some most heroin addicts don’t make it. I’ve lost so many friends cos of it and I believe they are at rest now. I’m living my life now to help whoever wants to be free.

[@zz7733]

Dude you’re amazing.

[@alexandercarder2281]

X P Thankx. Your amazing too. 😉

[@j.c.2240]

Keep it up!

[@user-nx3gj6hh1b]

My dad has been an addict since before I was born, and I used to blame myself for the lack of love that he gave me, but after hearing your story, I understand that as a little kid I did nothing wrong. My dad was just wired differently. There is nothing I could have done better. Hearing your story felt like a nice warm blanket over my inner child. You really comforted her. Thank Taylor, thank you for helping. Everything makes sense now.

[@jade_kms]

addiction is so hard, but it’s a personal struggle. nothing you have done or will do is responsible for his problems and nothing you have done or will do can fix them either, i’m wishing the best for you and your family. it’s a hard thing to work through. but it’s definitely not your fault ❤

[@miriamd98]

I always come here (to the video, through the comment section) when i’m in a really, really, reaally bad place because it helps me knowing that i am not alone. So THANK YOU, Taylor. And THANK YOU to everyone from the comments who opened up about their stories.

[@tunabean2109]

Same..... we love you! I love everyone who is currently an addict and in recovery!!

[@brittneydeyling5566]

That’s awesome! You’re definitely not alone. We all struggle and fall short. But to maintain a healthy happy disposition and heal our bodies is the main focus. And always remember there is so much more you can do and have healthy addictions 😂Lolol like chips or running or buying a bunch of reptiles Lolol 😂 I hope you’re doing well!

[@user-op8gv6wp3y]

when a relationship starts to feel like "you and me against the world" it gets nearly impossible to leave...

[@Pimpishone]

Their is always someone that will prove to you that you are valuable.

[@caiofavero7311]

yes!

[@missus2416]

I've lost a good friend to this mindset and it's so sad.

[@o0TheKayKay0o]

My god that is so true! When it’s happening you think it’s beautiful and eventually ( and usually too late) you realize how sick it is

[@missus2416]

@ari clips she has an alt right boyfriend that isolates the shit out of her. She almost left him, he got her back, isolated her even more, we tried to reach out to her and help and she told us we were bad friends and moved away

[@SammiJinx]

Having alcoholic parents, my heart broke when you mentioned "better in the morning" because that was my entire childhood. I just wanted them to fall asleep or take a shower because they always seemed better after.

[@enhydralutris9547]

That sounds truly terrifying. No one deserves to grow up in fear of their parents 😭

[@SammiJinx]

@@enhydralutris9547 I never feared them actually! They weren't violent drunks, more so they checked out and were incapable of caring for themselves or us. The only true scary thing I guess is going to your parent and getting a blank look in response. My sister and I were lucky in that regard I guess.

[@evaelaine7617]

SammiJinx me as well I would just go to bed and if they had people were over or they were yelling so I would have to go to my cousins house

[@FrankiieBeauty]

SammiJinx this broke me. I’m so sorry

[@emgee7040]

Same here. Not knowing which side of the parent you're going to get. Learning how to stay quiet and try to be invisible. Then again, mine became extremely abusive when drunk. I remember a time before one parent got so badly addicted to it and became full blown alcoholic, I remember the day that I realized that they only hugged me and said they loved me was when they were drunk. That realization alone hurt. It still does honestly. I'm absolutely terrified of drunk men though, and I always have been as long as I can remember, but I couldn't ever tell anyone exactly why it even pinpoint it myself. I'm pretty sure it stems from something that had to have happened when I was a toddler. I do remember bits and pieces, naturally, but not much beyond much much older grown men, friends of my dad's, and how eventually my mom wouldn't let me go down to the hangout spot (a small country store within walking distance from our house at the time) with my dad anymore. I don't think I was abused, or rather I truly hope that isnt the case, I was much too young to be able to remember much, but I hope that would be something I wouldnt forget. But it got to where I would scream and cry every time I saw them. So...🤷‍♀️ who knows.. anyone with any active addiction to anything, be it alcohol or drugs, have absolutely NO business around children. NONE.

[@sharmanveraj3281]

Hi Taylor I just wanna say that you have completely showed me how addicting drugs are. You’ve saved me, a young 17 year old, from ever taking drugs. I know you don’t upload anymore but just know by making this video you have educated me better than schools have. And I will never ever touch drugs. My father died from liver cirrhosis due to excessive alcohol intake and it scarred me. Drugs can only hurt people. Thank you and you made me cry.

[@Truthavision]

You are so cute. Extremely brave for doing this. Congrats on patching life back together. Much love - O.D.D

[@solanum6039]

Why didn’t you put another "." after the second "D"?

[@Nilon241]

Thank you... flat earth channel?? The fuck XDD

[@anelablanchard7720]

Just so you know,she isn't clean, she is back on the needle game. She doesn't want to get clean.

[@faithf.1338]

@@anelablanchard7720 really? how do you know

[@bunnybells__kawaii6854]

@@solanum6039 because you have to

[@lilliem236]

i’m 4 months sober tomorrow

[@kamross5814]

Lillie M keep going, Lillie❤️

[@anguscole1]

so awesome keep pushing forward

[@chaos8776]

Congratulations!

[@angellawson3157]

Keep going i don't even know you but I'm proud of you. ❤️❤️

[@brad1699]

One day at a time.

[@Gloom]

Bless the drummer for taking a stance the way he did, bless your assistant for her compassion, and bless your mom for her unrelenting determination. I can't imagine how tough it was to publish this, but just know you are worthy and have always been. Stay healthy and safe

[@sammyeff9853]

Omg ily gloom 💙

[@CherryBeScary]

Well said Kassie.

[@bluedaisygirl62]

yes ❤🙌👏

[@zoeyschmidt5323]

Kassie I agree LOVE YOU

[@cheribonni]

KASSIEEE!♡♡

[@jazzyjay6842]

This is the first time I'm hearing about Al-Anon in my entire life. My mom was an addict who committed suicide. I found her. I've spent 8 years struggling with the understanding of her addiction. You just shared such an important and life altering resource for me. Thank you.

[@lsuzicosbw644]

Hope you’re doing okay 🥺

[@gentletouchpodcast9095]

Did you go to Al anon 💓

[@ccm8817]

Has anyone seen or heard from her? She hasn't done any videos in a long time and it worries me. I just hope she's doing ok.

[@alyssarapp7870]

Hopefully she’s all good

[@ccm8817]

@@alyssarapp7870 Some of her pictures look like she's using again. I hope that's not the case. No judgement, I know how hard it can be. I just want her to be ok.

[@alyssarapp7870]

@@ccm8817 damn I just looked at her IG and... I don’t wanna speculate, but hopefully she okay

[@bettedaviseyes6613]

I hope she's ok. Last I heard her say she had a video ready for Dec. 31st but then nothing else but I only see her here and Instagram. We are still rooting for you sweet girl.

[@annie5171]

She seems to post more often on her twitter.

[@lindseycrabtree849]

I’m 6 years free of heroin now. We can do this babe!

[@clarissalenz4938]

Lindsey Crabtree YASSS GIRL sooo proud of you!!

[@teehee5115]

YESSSS QUEEN!!

[@oliviarizzo1505]

Yesss keep on goinggg and don’t EVER look back!!! ❤️❤️❤️so proud

[@chelseacousin2063]

♥️♥️

[@JessicaT-zw2sn]

Ur goregous btw and WAY TO GO!

[@tlipke84]

My ex is an addict. He would have died, literally, before he would allow me to touch heroin, much less encourage it. What Jonny did is evil.

[@myafrorocks]

Steve Hunt I hope you’ll reach out and get yourself clean and healthy ASAP... good luck man. It’s really not worth it to use but you know that already. ✌🏼

[@jainekarina]

@Steve Hunt i hope you'll get yourself clean soon!! U can do it. Also i wish for u, your wife(?) and your children to be always healthy and safe. Stay strong

[@milagrosdonofrio8151]

It’s not evil, it’s a disease... think that just because you wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean others addiction wouldn’t take them to those darker places. I understand it’s crazy and does look “evil” but that’s simply the level of addiction he had :/

[@laur-unstagenameactuallyca1587]

Milagros, I don't think you understand. She never said addiction was evil, she said sharing that with others or introducing that to others when you KNOW it's wrong is evil. And it is evil.

[@milagrosdonofrio8151]

@@laur-unstagenameactuallyca1587 I did understand, what I think you are not considering is that a person going through a disease like addiction is clearly not in their right mind to discern such thing. Of course he might understand it's not ok, which I agree, for sure is not, but the fact that he does it anyway does not necessarily make him EVIL, just shows a level of sickness. Of course some might have to do with his personality as well. That was my point :)

[@SpacyMidnight]

This video is 3 years old but damn … it’s still THE MOST important video of the year. ♥️Thank you ♥️

[@insanaz0r]

i can't imagine how hard was that for you to share, you are so brave and strong . thank you for sharing your story 💖

[@Mandukis]

If you haven't, DELETE ALL THEIR NUMBERS! get a new number, a new phone. Make it easier on yourself

[@mickellebreann2955]

A. Alvarez that’s what I did . But with social media makes its hard but def a great idea!!!!!!

[@Mandukis]

@@mickellebreann2955 whatever works ♥️

[@thatcringekid7333]

A. Alvarez no

[@JuditaHoffman.]

@@thatcringekid7333 No, what?!

[@thatcringekid7333]

Judita V. No

[@joshuwuah]

If you're looking for a sign to stop, this is your sign.

[@ianmangham4570]

Who, what, I cant see

[@ArkadianDream]

Nah

[@100cvcv8]

She look like SNIPER WOLF!

[@kieronreynolds7486]

Wish it was that easy bro

[@ivanna4705]

vynz im single asf lol

[@early.autumn.summer]

I did the SAME THING with animals, I’ve never heard someone else share an experience like that. I’ve struggled with binge eating/bulimia/addiction on and off for years. When I first started struggling with food and addiction, I went through a period where I adopted Guinea pigs, rats, mice, a spider, and a snake. Looking back I realize it was a very unhealthy coping strategy. I was addicted to the rush of warmth and love that getting a new animal provided. Thankfully I’m able to recognize that now, and while I still love my animals I’ll never adopt that many again, it was definitely a warning sign I didn’t realize at the time.

[@shari-leedavis1576]

Can’t believe she and Johnny are back in contact again

[@ughsonya4605]

WHAT?

[@impikini8771]

Nooooo......!!!!!?!?!?!? Really..? Og god, I so hope you're wrong.. 😒 unfortunately I can totally see this happening 😕

[@jennyB07]

Yikes 😬

[@Jouz_326]

Who’s Jonny?

[@osmanyousif7849]

Nothing changes, I guess....

[@tatonkapeach]

This video is giving me strength to walk away from my husband. I filed for divorce.

[@ah-ie9dy]

Sending you all the love and strength I have. You can do it ♥️

[@alliediallo1945]

Stay strong. 💜

[@itstay2565]

This needs more likes! You go girl! Stay strong 💪🏽❤️

[@jenn9212]

im proud of u

[@neotokyo4860]

Yeah leave him and come over to my house!

[@leahsailus6]

I was a heroin addict since 15. Ive been sober for 5 months and 20 days. It’s not much but we do recover :)

[@Mozzarella-and-Tomato]

It is much! I'm happy for you, keep on fighting!❤🔥

[@kristian5489]

so proud and happy for u

[@jennacollins7301]

progress is progress, so happy for you! stay strong!

[@yanizzle6318]

how can you be a heroin addict at 15??

[@jordanplans4611]

Yanizzle very easily. I had an older boyfriend who used and I started using with him. I’ll have 3 years on Nov 17.

[@lookwhosinsideagain3489]

I was here when this video came up and I watch this about once a year. It's weird that this is my comfort video but it's because I feel for you so much and it warms my heart to know you're constantly getting better.

[@Krigsfilosofi]

Oh my gosh, I feel the exact same!

[@alw4eva]

I'm truly so happy for you. I recently found your content, and wanted to kind of start my own channel. You've given me ideas for my snakes, and your personality is radiant. This video really touched me, and I am so honored you chose us to share your journey with. I send you all the love and light possible. Take care Taylor.

[@RenchKid]

Imma be honest chief, you’re brave for uploading this and I think we are all very proud of you

[@taylorndean]

Cell thank you so so much 🥺

[@idiotgay]

Yes, I agree completely!

[@jaimeeames9514]

100%👏💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

[@stanleesomanly9585]

Even prefect cell has his soft side 😂😂

[@rebeccamartinez1800]

💜 you're so strong

[@margiemcmackins4064]

"This guy could potentially hurt me but I don't think anyone else is gonna like me" Ouch.

[@BeamingTaeng]

@@PeterKropotkin42069 But that's not how it works for everyone.

[@PeterKropotkin42069]

@@BeamingTaeng Yeah, there are people who aren't retarded, and then there are people who disagree with me.

[@BeamingTaeng]

@@PeterKropotkin42069 I do not disagree with you, it is a sad and desperate conduct indeed; however, not everyone can just choose being alone over having toxic company, and that's a fact. It's not something to shame them about tho, it's just really.. Well, sad.

[@PeterKropotkin42069]

@@BeamingTaeng It is a shameful a weak way to think. Shaming things is a useful function of society. It makes people stay away from bad things for fear of being shamed.

[@lilmegan7595]

Peter Kropotkin no one told you to watch this vid. It’s people like you that criticize her that got her into this that made her feel like she wasn’t good enough for anyone and just wanted someone to love her. Makes no sense to leave nasty comments, It doesnt effect you at all so why don’t you leave this girl that’s clearly in a weak state and needs only support the fuck alone. Thank you.

[@maryiastiles4517]

This is my first time watching you, and thank you for being transparent. I am a recovering addict of 6 years now, and it all started with my ex, who ended up taking his own life 3 years ago and its so crazy to think its been that long. But being able to watch someone whose open about their addiction and their story is relieving. And i hope to have the courage to share my story some day the way you have

[@SherodeeandMilo]

Hi Taylor, I just watched your video on Vice! I have to say its a huge step to say your an addict. I myself am clean off Heroin for 6 years, and Fentanyl for 10 months! Its the greatest feeling in the world 😊🙏 ... Just know you have my all my faith and love in your recovery! Keep up the great work ❤😊🙏🇨🇦

[@keithbowlin207]

I was addicted to heroin for 8 years ..moved away cut off my family ..proud to say im 5 years clean now got my own car apartment etc...drug life is the hardest thing ever...but sober life is a amazingly awesome gift congrats to sober life

[@vinesforkids237]

💖💖

[@liztetixo]

Keep up the awesome job - I am so proud of you!

[@keithbowlin207]

@Gaia thank you so much ...just have to keep wanting a better life .. Congrats also it wasn't easy but we did it 👍..

[@keithbowlin207]

@@liztetixo thank you means alot

[@hillarystafford2390]

I was an addict to o was addicted to heroin and meth and pretty much anythg else I could get my hands on. Im 5yr sober (6-13-14).... Its NOT easy at all I have to stay away from all the idiots that called themselves ur friends but used u for a ride or to get them high. I'm moved cities and no longer hang out with anyone except my 4kids and theyre ALL I need. They're my world now, NOT the dope.... So say nope to the dope and live ur bestest lives everrrr y'all. I love u all and If u need a friend hmu.... Thanks.... And btw Taylor ur looking good so keep it up boo....

[@user-jt8gi3rz7o]

2 months sober from cocaine, Xanax, and oxy, thank you. Your story and expirence touches more than you know.

[@blacksolo6273]

Neal S that’s great!

[@kierstinbowen5690]

You're gonna do great things! Keep up the good work!

[@autumn9445]

Thats great, I'm so happy for you!

[@jaellycookie]

!

[@48tomw]

Keep it up because this what we are supposed to do as responsible adults. I don't ever congratulate anyone in recovery, that just feeds the ego which needs no supplemental input! Well, that's how I was taught, humility comes first, we only tell others of our milestones to give the newcomer hope. BTW Hope=Hearing Other Peoples Experiences

[@giampsjorbat2247]

Thank you for being open about your experience and putting it out here. I'm dealing with a family member addicted to heroin, and hopefully with the support of the family and some of your insights i'll be able to see beyond his own lies and come to reason and go back to rehab and go through with it. May your support circle be always strong as your will to stay clean and live an healthy life.

[@barbarathebusinesslady3835]

I watch this video like twice a year at least.. I’ve been through the same thing and I’m proud of you and me. Ugh.

[@leukles]

Im proud of you too

[@fightvale57]

Proud of you too! I'm in the middle of a struggle and just to have so many people successfully reach sobriety

[@imbaby9667]

He manipulated you. He wanted you addicted so he could do it without you trying to stop him. He had no intention of stopping. Some people want to, some don't. Stay clean please, you're worth it. ❤

[@Ashlynita]

I'm Baby my ex tried to get me to do meth with him. if the relationship lasted any longer I’m sure I would have caved. he blamed me for not making him stop the first 3 months of our relationship and told me it was my responsibility to help him. as far as I’m aware, the last time he used in our relationship was when he shot up in front of me on his dead dads birthday. then he blamed me for not being strong enough to stop him. then offered me some since I’d never been around him with the drugs, just with him after he got high. scary stuff.

[@alilih3652]

Sometimes it's not even that they don't want to stop. Sometimes its just so powerful to the point where you will do anything for it, and it's like you want to stop but you also don't because your body is so addicted to it that you do want to stop but you also dont.

[@Delihlah]

@@alilih3652 agreed, my uncle has sobered up several times but sometimes relapses. He's officially sober right now for about 5 months. He once got two years and it was great but because he still had friends and a wife who were addicts he would eventually fall back into it. He's recently cut out all addicts in his life.

[@madisonscott8216]

Is she talking about Johnny Craig

[@GinEric84]

No he didn't. He behaved in a way that is absolutely expected from a drug addict. This video is an hour of her blaming another person for a decision making process that can only be described as sick. She is addicted to being needed, to taking care of things. Getting hooked on heroin was merely a biproduct of her underlying pathology. She needs to get rid of all of get animals and get into extensive psychotherapy to overcome this compulsion to take care of things. She needs to be able to be happy without being needed.

[@kaceface3277]

I’ve been off heroin for 5 years. We do recover!

[@brittanydummett4116]

Kace face 🥰🥰you go girl

[@bangtanman7077]

Kace face YAY👏👏

[@hailieolmos7772]

Im proud of u!

[@KyaSimonsLife]

Kace face 💜👏🏻I feel You I’ve been a Year & a Half! Sooo Proud Of You 😉

[@sammiles1678]

Kace face 👏👏👏

[@melontinii]

I just wanted you to know that your story of how you first tried alcohol and drugs has always stuck with me, and has been so educational for myself and other people when I've gotten into discussions about how addiction isn't a choice and is a disease that can be debilitating. So thank you for making this video, I already commented when this first came out but I really hope you're doing well still and that you're happy!

[@emilyterry4843]

Your testimony is incredible, and I feel so privileged to have been able to hear it! You are stronger than you know, it can be tempting to return to a life that is familia and predictable because you know it. (life) that’s the word that has greater meaning for you now, and your living proof that it’s not over for anyone trapped or feeling lost! God bless you and your family and I pray your story reaches others and brings them hope that there is a life if your ready to break free❤️🧡💛💚💙

[@kimbasciano_]

I’m a heroin addict too, I’ve been clean for 8 years. It gets better. Love you. ❤️

[@LifeWithAllOfUs]

Kim Basciano congrats girl

[@NinjaJoanie]

Kim Basciano ❤️❤️

[@bmays94]

im a heroin addict too ♥️

[@courtneyrichards3895]

Congrats. That's really awesome

[@kimbasciano_]

Em Liz thank you!!

[@cinnastyle3260]

I recognize this girl. I'm not saying "this is the good old Taylor!" because it's not, you'll never be that girl again, and as lovely as she was that's ok, because the Taylor here is wiser, and stronger, and loves herself more, the Taylor I see now is the Taylor I missed _and_ so much more. Sending you all my love and support for your sobriety, you've got this dude. Welcome back

[@oliviapaige2619]

That was beautiful❤❤❤

[@amberlikely420]

Perfectly said!! I love you Taylor and I also love you guys...The fellow subbies. We have such a kick was support system and bond.

[@cinnastyle3260]

@fly furby

[@alanahmua8771]

Beautifully said🥰🥰

[@rachela2727]

I really loved coming across this comment 💞

[@maryjade7541]

2 months clean from cocaine 💓 thank you for sharing your story. seeing peoples recovery stories really inspire me to keep going. It is possible to get clean 💖

[@giseleharvey343]

i hope your still sober. im an addict too and ur story is literally just like mine. im on methadone right now, trying to stay sober. i hope your sober and living your best life. P.S this is my moms youtube lol.

[@SuggestiveHappyFace]

she’s relapsed twice i believe but she has gotten help both times and was in rehab for awhile

[@alyxskyler]

How are you doing? I hope you are well 🙏💕

[@skm9420]

@@SuggestiveHappyFace i relapsed 7 times before I got tired of the life, cost both physical and monetary, and pain it caused. I personally don't know anyone whose has gotten sober without relapsing at least once. I'm just now today 24 hours into quitting subs after 3 years and 3 relapses while taking subs. Lifes hard then it gets harder.

[@SuggestiveHappyFace]

@@skm9420 i never meant for my comment to insinuate that i’m judging her for relapsing. i’m very proud of her progress and i’m very loosely following her still and i think she’s doing better now. we’re all on our own paths in life, i’m no one to judge someone else’s hardships. i’m really happy you’re doing better now though (:

[@makaylagroff8971]

GIRL, YOU BETTER DELETE THAT DEALERS NUMBER! I dont want to watch you go through this again! Delete it!!! Edit: wow thanks guys, I was not expecting this many likes.

[@lunachick-61388]

That's a big part of how I stayed clean in the beginning I deleted any number I could get anything from. To much temptation if you dont.

[@cheyunderwood7941]

Period

[@mickellebreann2955]

When I was getting for the same thing, I changed my phone number

[@daynachapin7916]

As soon as she said she had needles in the freezer I instantly knew he was tempted and used

[@Tata-iu3fy]

Makayla Groff Most of us have or had the number memorized. I get what you’re saying though.

[@alexallton1541]

My mom died because of an OD on oxy, fentanyl, and alchohol. I bawled my eyes out this whole video.

[@robertcollins5307]

Sorry for your loss :(

[@autumn9445]

Sorry for your loss 😥

[@dalicia1322]

Hey I know nothing I say van make you feel better so what I will say is if you ever need to talk message me on Facebook 🖤 I hope your feeling a little better. Get yourself some soda pop and relax with some ASMR 👌🏻

[@taylorndean]

I am so sorry for your loss love. I hope you find peace and a way to heal. In my pinned comment I talk about a program called Al-Anon, I think you could absolutely benefit from it if you have any unresolved pain still from that experience. Stay strong, I’m so sorry you had to experience that

[@dalicia1322]

@@taylorndean thank you Taylor do you know if they have alanon is every state?

[@babyshea89]

Listening to your story just breaks my heart 😞😢 Listening and looking at you is like I'm hearing and staring myself in the face 😞 I 100% understand what you are going threw as I'm going threw the SAME thing...You are strong Taylor and have A LOT of support ❤🥰 I love and respect you so much girl!! Please stay strong, stay safe & stay sober!! ❤💚🖤❤💚🖤

[@theonewhoyoucallthefigure.4025]

I absolutely love your courage!! Thank you for your videos!! As a recovering Addict, this content is so helpful

[@Olympia137]

Not that anyone cares, but I have around 8 years of not relapsing on bulimia, I know it’s a completely different story, but we all have battles, please do not give up sweetheart!

[@venusiscool836]

Great job. I don't know if you need to hear this but, you are so strong and courageous you got this!

[@addisons8846]

Stay strong great job ❤️

[@jessicaparra1412]

We care💕

[@abigailspruce5557]

Congratulations!!

[@booooo6387]

I am so proud of you I understand what bulimia is like and it is not easy to fight off stay strong

[@danhernando1422]

I been clean for 24 years :)

[@dalicia1322]

Congrats ❤️👌🏼

[@loveconquershate7406]

Taylor I’ve been through exactly what you have been through, I’m still on suboxone for four years I applaud what you have said. The truth can set you free or scare the shite out of you or both, it only takes around ten years to completely destroy you, I remember pushing cottons, I shot up soboxone to soon I thought I was stuck in a violent science experiment, everything you said I’ve been through I send you positive thoughts more powerful than a stupid addiction , thank you for sharing your story. We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities against spiritual wickedness in high places. Also since your beautiful watch out for those predators in recovery! It’s a big thing! They are everywhere but there are more good hearted people then those 13nth stepping suckers with selfish intentions. Peace love and empathy!

[@hamsfamilton3117]

Powerful. So proud of you. You are so strong to share this message. People like you with a voice and share your addiction story are what will change the culture of addiction and how it is viewed by society. Your story will help so many others still suffering. You are changing lives. One day at a time. ❤️

[@melissanilsson3000]

I got clean when my fiancee died of a heroin overdose, over 3 years clean now. Thank you for this video.

[@ah-ie9dy]

I'm real sorry about your fiancee. Hope you can heal and find peace - sending you lots of love.

[@recklesss182]

I’m so proud of you. My boyfriend died of a heroin overdose 12/28/2016. Hope you’re doing okay ❤️

[@carolineclark2013]

Melissa Skywalkz my brother just died of a heroin overdose. Sucks so bad I wanna join him

[@Leighanne-oz9ou]

I'm so sorry for your loss! To many lives have been lost and there's not enough being done, I'm still hopeful though. So proud of you! 5yrs clean for me and if you ever need an ear! 😘

[@MrMiD.Life.Crisis]

Would it be fair to say that without your Fiancé's untimely passing, you wouldnt have got clean (at least not at that time)? Or (knock on wood/God forbid), had roles been reversed theres every chance that both of you may be gone now. I realise that addicts are alive but they generally dont have any kind of life. So in a way it was your fiancé that gave you the gift of life. Sorry if that was a rambling random comment. Hope you're doing well and good now and may your Fiancé rest in peace.

[@shelbyhetrick8384]

I was using iv heroin for 8 years. I will have 2 years clean November 13th. Recovery is possible 🖤🖤

[@noneofyourbusiness3341]

❤❤❤

[@jennacollins7301]

Shelby Hetrick congratulations!

[@leomorrison9829]

My birthday day is November 13 hope you keep it up❤️❤️❤️

[@nevaehgriffin5925]

Shelby Hetrick 💓💓

[@stevenessenson4861]

Missed you

[@medullaoblongata1601]

I really identify with the experiences you described throughout discovering your "addictive personality" and I apologize for commenting 3yrs after this video was posted but I just really want to thank you for sharing your story because life has been really hard recently and stories like yours continually motivate me to keep finding ways to live for anything other than drugs & that life has so much more to offer outside of getting high. It's not easy but I know the practice of appreciating living is and will continue to be worth it. I hope you continue to find purpose in the little things like mochi and squishmallows and cute lil animals because the world is truly a better place because you're in it. Thank you for existing. ❤

[@kaylak6274]

you are saving lives by making this video. you are helping so many people, or families of people that has been impacted by substance abuse. we love you and we’ll be here by your side you’ve got it girl!!!!

[@haybby23]

I had an ex who introduced drugs to me and also became abusive. I’m over 4 years clean from heroin now, and engaged to someone who truly values my sobriety and respects the person I am. Thank you for sharing your story, I know it’s not easy but you’re helping people!

[@zizi8890]

Congratulations!! It sounds like you’re doing a lot better and I hope that doesn’t change

[@ZachBinder95]

Congratulations, this is not an uncommon thing unfortunately. I'm glad you were able to overcome it! When I was in 9th grade my best friends sister had passed from heroin just about a year or so after her boyfriend got her hooked..

[@mybuttholeitches3041]

Very proud of you!! Congrats!

[@nm2795]

h b. Congratulations!!! That’s awesome

[@odieg]

I had an abusive ex who forced me onto cocaine, meth, acid, and a bunch of other pills and hearing someone I trust and love talking about their experience has helped me and feel so much better about my experience . I love you.

[@prob_io7299]

Damn I listened to the whole thing, you're such a good story teller and I'm so happy for you that you've become so much smarter

[@livslife3998]

Taylor... I was a heroin addict too. At 17. For a whole year. Now I am 18, six months clean, and happy in life. I lost my boyfriend to an overdose in april.. it was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through in life. I am so happy and proud of you for finally addresing this, in the most strong way possible. So proud. Stay clean. I made this KZbin channel to talk about my own heroin addictions, overdoses, and recovery. I have died four times on heroin. I stopped breathing. One time my heart stopped and I got brought back to life. God wants you here for a reason, that's why you're still here and not dead. Use these past two years to motivate you to do better and to stay sober. Lots of love to you.

[@taylorndean]

Liv's Life I’m so sorry for your loss. I was fortunate enough to never actually OD, I’ve had extreme reactions to using too much but never to the point of dying. I feel so lucky to be alive, because at one point I was shooting up China White every hour which surely had fentanyl in it. I’m so sorry for your losses and so happy you’re still around and getting this new chance at life. Congratulations for getting clean and making it six months, that’s an amazing achievement. I hope the best for you in your continued recovery and I thank you for supporting mine. Continue to take everything one day at a time ❤️ thank you for your kind advice and thank you for sharing your story ❤️

[@trashytori229]

Im proud of you and taylor... I've never done them but my family had and I know it's hard to watch

[@onyaaaaah]

Proud of you & Taylor! I was addicted from age 17-20. Been clean for almost 5 years. Lost my gf do an OD 6 months after I got clean. Hurts a lot. ♥️

[@NoItsKaycee]

So sorry for your losses but congratulations on getting clean! Taylor and you are both so strong, you have a purpose, and you’re going to go far in life! God Bless!

[@dakotamathis6072]

Lauren Co whats wrong with you?

[@d1tzy875]

Growing up with an alcoholic mum, the ‘wait till they go to bed’ mentality really hit me

[@adriannamejias2060]

PerfectlyImperfect ouch felt that.

[@thatsnotvegan2272]

I grew up with an alcoholic dad, and unfortunately i have to agree...

[@oliviarizzo1505]

ouch...I’m so sorry. I wish you all the best. ❤️💕💗

[@leighnicolecj]

When your parents drug of choice is meth so they just don’t. Anxiety.

[@nelilr6824]

PerfectlyImperfect yo...same..my dad was an alcoholic and drug addict and he left my family and ten years later after leaving us he’s doing even worse. He’s slowly withering away into his drug induced abyss

[@terahacevedo4761]

Wow this is the most detailed, interesting and useful video for me. You’re so amazing and I’m so proud of you

[@didi7363]

Hey, you made this video public again! Everytime I miss my past heavy drug usage (not H, but lots of E ), I come back to this video and remind myself that there's more to life than the rush. I enjoy being sober, not even drinking alcohol right now. Because it's great to think clearly. Thanks that you decided to upload this again. You are truly helping many people struggling with addiction. Because we tend to romantisize drug use. But this brings back the reality of it. Love you!

[@humphreybouvier9381]

Man that dude just leaves a path of destruction behind him

[@DrEnword]

Pig Benis he’s beyond saving and doesn’t deserve any affection

[@raven_rez1074]

Everyone deserves help...he could be different person too you know

[@sydneysenpai7625]

@@raven_rez1074 Yes and no, it's a pattern with him, he's done this to others and also taylor kept trying to get him help and pushing him to get help. Sometimes people won't help themselves, so its a lost cause and not worth hurting yourself trying to help a person like that. Everyone deserves help, but after a while, you just have to give up trying to save someone. He's done similar to other girls for a long time apparently so it seems like a cycle for him. He won't even apologize or admit he was wrong.

[@hoho7029]

bruh since she started being with him everyone EVERYONE screamed at her to run away to leave but "she knew better" . Life lesson

[@ThatsHowThingsAre]

Who is this dude?

[@screamscene09]

I lost my boyfriend June 22nd to a fentanyl laced heroin overdose, after almost two years sober. Watching your recovery is helping me cope with the loss. Please continue sharing your story, you WILL save lives!!!

[@jettepaijmans9060]

sorry for your loss... stay strong beautiful

[@gwenelena8750]

Would love to talk to you about how you’re coping. I lost my girlfriend November 21st 2017 to a drug overdose. Please reach out to me on Instagram at gwenyeager

[@meganeff]

Kelly Sharpe I’m so sorry for your loss. How are you doing with your recovery? Have you done any grief counseling?

[@yeahhhboii6914]

I lost my brother a year and a half ago due to a heroin overdose also after nearly two years sober. It was a traumatic time and I would suggest to get help early. I never felt so alone and I never got help. It will get easier, trust me

[@meganeff]

Yeahhh Boii I’m sorry for your loss too. My boyfriend lost his sister in 2015, and it took him a long time to start healing too. He was very resistant to talking about it. I wish I had known about grief counseling back then. I know a lot about addiction & recovery, but I was not equipped to help someone cope with grief back then. I learned a lot, but I wish he didn’t hurt so deeply for as long as he did.

[@briibabyyxoxo2979]

💙 WOW! YOU are so strong babe!!! So proud of you & ME! I've struggled with addiction since the age of 13.. I'll be 27 soon. I've been to 19 rehabs , depression anxiety and addiction has taken over my life for years... i was sick and tired of being sick and tired !!! Today im on suboxone and ive been off heroin since sep 2022... You are not alone! you can do this , you are SO LOVED 😍

[@julieo8516]

I am so proud of you, thank you for sharing and being so real and candid! You have saved your own life as well as others by sharing your story.

[@martellomarks6151]

Not that anyone cares but I’m 25 days clean smoking anything nicotine base 🙂🙂🙂

[@E_van_Gelie]

That's very good! Stay on track

[@paisleyjohnson5418]

congrats! almost a month! i’m so proud of you💗.

[@Dkfhebdbebdbebdb]

I care! im so proud! :)

[@niyanykol1121]

Mystery and Crime theories KEEP GOING PROUD OF U

[@loizerz]

hey, no, dude, thats wicked!

[@reneeclark5591]

You can do this! My daughter is 19 and has been on it for a couple years. She's in denial and won't go to rehab. I pray for her and others to get help. I'm proud of you for getting the help you need!

[@mennen795]

Is she better

[@larac5581]

I hope she is doing well ❤️

[@Mandrung]

I had no idea that this was going on with you. This video has become my favorite video I have ever watched because I relate to it on several layers and it gives me hope to be better.

[@Ce1estialDawn]

I unsubscribed when she got with Johnny because I foresaw all this happening. Not out of hatred. It was like a trainwreck you knew was coming and could do nothing about it. I would still pop in sometimes hoping for the best for her and would be sad by what I found. I am soo friggin happy she is getting her life back on track and opening up. I think she can get through this and continue to improve

[@sarinasagmoe8591]

same, and I just re-subscribed today. You got this!

[@marcovargas1232]

@@belikereepicheep I'm knew just wondering who's Johnny

[@ZeushyTV]

@@marcovargas1232 Johnny Craig - her Ex she talks about in the video (not the one from PetCo). The musician who is known thru his exes to be physically abusive. And now we know he's an addict and dragged Taylor in his blackhole.

[@TheStudnut]

same. with the rate she was going in her videos, i thought she'd be dead soon. glad she got help.

[@Brianna-qu8df]

What was his last name?

[@AliKatS6]

For the first time ever, the girl I watched in todays video appeared confident, sure of who she was, and although went through the heaviest of situations, had more hope and life in her eyes. I am so proud of you!

[@taylorndean]

Ali Smiles thank you so so much 🥺

[@AliKatS6]

Taylor Nicole Dean ❤️

[@judyamraya3739]

I am so sorry you had to go through this. You broke my heart ❤️.. wishing you the best in your recovery. Praying for you 🙏🏼

[@angeltheprocrastinator8014]

i know this is an old video but it is very brave of you to tell your truth, i have been watching you since i was 10 or 11 and i am now almost 18. i hope as of today in 2024 you are happy with your life and your hobby:) i am in recovery too and it is a long journey but a worthwhile one. keep doing what you love and i wish the best always🫶

[@hannahmaree.]

I’ve also been watching her for years and she’s done so amazing and also I hope your recovery goes well ❤

[@gracealthouse8417]

i am so proud of u, my parents passed away from drugs so this means a lot to see someone trying to stay clean

[@thatcringekid7333]

Да вдаль клуб щудаб

[@IdkIdk-zi5tp]

THE SPHINX u don't know if she's lying for likes so unless u know her and know that she is lying don't say that

[@LucifersPride6]

@@Fdna-ni6ht i was about to say that but gud job

[@LucifersPride6]

@@IdkIdk-zi5tp ty too good people

[@abbie799]

so sorry xx

[@ZoesZoo]

I just finished it. The thing I'm struck by the most is how this is the FIRST time I feel like I'm seeing the REAL you. I know that sounds cheesy, but honestly - I didn't see any awkwardness (beyond that one montage haha) or walls up, or defences, or "fakeness". From the way you talk to your body language, it felt authentically YOU. Which is *AMAZING* and makes me sooooo happy! You are on the path you're meant to be on and you are rocking it, my friend. I am so excited to support you through your recovery and witness your growth. I am SO proud of you.

[@heatherhent4445]

I agree.

[@Oceans5april]

Zoe's Zoo yes! I saw this too. Her glow is so true now and it’s amazing to watch. ❤️

[@merryhicks1]

Yes! Her accent is even different. I love hearing it :)

[@emilybrown9917]

taylor you are so beautiful, its both relatable and tragic hearing everything you’ve been unlucky enough to have gone through. everytime i’m at my lowest recently i come back to this video and the one specifically about your ex because it feels like i have a friend with me that i can cry and be sad with without feeling ashamed or judged. always sending love

[@jenniferburg3780]

Oh my goodness girl, your story just give me the chills and so many times did I feel like I was right there with you!! And Wow!! I cannot imagine the amount of strength it must’ve taken to give us such a full glimpse of your life in active addiction. And the courage to show us a glimpse of that darkness and pain, fear, love, and shame. I, myself am also a recovering addict.My addictions were to both heroin and benzos. (I know... it’s a deadly combo.). I could relate and identify so much with your story, & I’d just like to say Thank You! Please remember there’s strength in numbers! Take the time to go online, and catch yourself some Zoom meetings. This is such a hard time we’re living in as addicts, all of this isolation can drive us right into a deep depression. And we know too well where that can lead... “Chase your recovery like you used to chase your drugs!”

[@IdkIdk-zi5tp]

This made me understand why my mom can't put alcohol down

[@larry4168]

I'm sorry,that your mom's addicted I really am

[@Bulls-eye4795]

That sucks... Today was my dad's birthday, he died last July from the same addiction. He drank so much he developed stage 4 liver cirrhosis and eventually his organs failed him and he went into a coma. We didn't get the chance to tell him goodbye. I hope your mom finds help and you don't have to experience something like this.

[@GuadalupeGuacamole]

Ashley Pruitt so sorry about your dad’s passing due to alcoholism. Time will bring peace to your heart, mind and family.

[@GuadalupeGuacamole]

It’s good that’s this video is enlightening another generation into accepting that addiction is a disease, an illness, a mental illness with likely lethal eventual physical consequences. I wish you well and hope for sobriety for your Mom soon. 🖤

[@kickazz9473]

Addiction sneaks up on a person. Mainly because we just dont see what the substance does to us. By tje time you realize your hooked. Ots to late your physically emotionally and chemically dependant. I was addicted to opiates for 11 yrs. Some part of me knew how badly I was hurting those i loved. But the druga had so much control over me I couldnt simply stop. Even if I did try,to quit the withdrawals were so brutal I never made it over 2 days. Im not saying this to justify what your mom is doing. I'm only saying this to maybe help you understand that its nit intentional. Yes we choose drugs/alcohol over loved ones. But even though we have free will were not fully in control. Ive been sober 6 yrs. It was so hard in the beginning not only to keep from using. But to regain the trust I had broken with family and friends. Hell 6 yrs later even though using never enters my brain anymore. Im still repairing some of the relationships I demolished. I hope you mom comes around and geys help. If she does please just keep an open mind about rebuilding trust. You would be suprised how much guilt addicts/alcoholics actually have. ✌

[@nat3321]

Your sobriety date is my birthday. Best birthday gift ever

[@meganm4304]

Geesus Against Karen my moms is christmas! it’s truly the best gift you can ask for

[@anamariaencica3312]

4th of june is my birthday too, at that moment I had no idea what she had gone through

[@SawyBoy]

Geesus Against Karen this is really selfless and sweet

[@isaacfouch6687]

shit why you lying 😂

[@pilargallegos2090]

I’m so glad you’ve given this community of people who struggle with abuse in relationships and in drugs a place to not feel alone much love Taylor 💓

[@rthcfh8450]

I truly believe that you are an amazing person, besides brave and courageous for being able to share your story and finding the way out of it.

[@asiadread4902]

12 years clean from methamphetamine . Sending positive vibes!!!

[@somedude3819]

My mom just started meth she’s clean now but I worry and I’m so so so proud of you even if I don’t know you lol

[@coolstufftodo5256]

Tami Marie I feel really bad for you but maybe don’t get down with addicts?

[@asiadread4902]

Some Dude you have every right to worry. It’s not a easy thing to let go of! I moved several hundreds of miles away and quit talking to those friends! Prayers ❤️ I have a 20 year old daughter who went through all the BS with me and I’m so proud of her as a person. Counseling may be in order...

[@solanum6039]

@@coolstufftodo5256 Like addicts are some strange creatures you should avoid getting into contact with... Reinforcing stereotypes hard right there.

[@coolstufftodo5256]

Lunekoa no but having children with people who really should get some help. Not trying the alienate them just kinda logical

[@ashleyrae6393]

The fact that he was able to sit and watch this sober person become more of an addict than he is, nearly killing herself, bc of the trauma he put her thru trying to get him to stop, shows how much of a sick person he is

[@christadelancy2012]

rae g he was on drugs too.....

[@avarydawn6178]

Who is this person I’m not gonna go after him I’m just curious

[@holly.eq78]

Avary Dawn he is a really bad person who almost made Taylor die of heroin

[@nickpetrella6996]

Avary Dawn his name is Jonny Craig.

[@Zombie-hb1wd]

Nick Petrella is he that dude that sang She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty with pierce the veil?? if so thats insane ive known about him for YEARS and am just now discovering her tonight because i was researching things on rabbits bc im interested in getting one and then i got lead to her page lol

[@jordenelise8713]

I found you through your VICE interview and girl you are so strong to speak out on your addiction. I began my journey to sobriety in the beginning of September and it is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done. Not because i want the drugs, the cravings are long gone. Learning how to live a normal life again is the hard part. Eating, bathing, doing simple everyday tasks etc. Nobody ever talks about the Depression and complete lack of motivation. I was so happy to hear you address that part of it. Keep being strong and living your beautiful new life! Even on the hardest days and at our lowest points we're better today than we were back then. Thank you Taylor ❤😊 for being an inspiration and being you!

[@elizebethwhitelizzy1029]

I was 10 when I first watched this you were my favorite youtuber along with King Cheese and I sat there watching thus for the hour and i came out to my mom crying i'm so proud of you Taylor I truly love you as a person ,animal care taker, youtuber!!!!!

[@RiaMarleen]

Dear Taylor, i could not be more proud of you. I've been where you've been. I broke up with my abusive boyfriend who I've been using with and it was so scary. Everything was scary. Today I'm sober for more than 2 and a half years. And from what you told us I know you can keep staying sober. I truly belive in you, even when you relapse, it's not the end. It's just a bump on your new path. Keep going! 🖤

[@abigaelmedina6378]

this is probably the first time you’ve ever used Petco rather than Petshmo

[@Luke-vr5wc]

Abigael Medina I was shocked when I heard it 😂

[@nightsintheasylum2340]

Thankyou so much for being so honest and sharing your story. Im so sorry you went through all this but to you and anyone else quitting, you are so strong and you Got this! Love and hugs xx

[@aimeegoebel1641]

Very VERY fucking brave of you to share all these intense details of your struggle. It will help so many people out there to know there is someone else out there who has been there. So thankful you’ve pulled through and I’ll pray for you every day for your success!!!

[@lisa-di4vo]

I’m a heroin addict myself and have been sober for one year as of this week. Thank you for making this video and sharing something so personal and difficult. You’re wonderful. 🖤

[@machel5457]

i hope youre doing better love.

[@yasamanmansoori2789]

It's really difficult to go it alone. Try and attend an NA meeting or attend some sort of treatment program if you have health insurance. Trust me. I've been where you are.

[@saraa1741]

Congratulations! Heroin addiction is an extremely hard habit to kick. Sending you many positive vibes and a positive ongoing recovery. One day at a time, love!

[@AspenIVOVI]

@@saraa1741 You're amazing Lisa. I've been clean for 3 years from heroin and you soon will be 1 year then 2 years, then 3 years sober and I'm so happy that you've made the decision to save your life. Message me if you'd ever like to talk or if you need support.

[@alyssaaguirre1612]

Sending nothing but love towards you. On your proud or even darkest days. Nothing but love babygirl congrats💗