I’m back... again 😅

[@BayleeJae]

I screamed when I saw this in my sub box. Welcome back! I'm glad to hear you're getting to a better place. ❤

[@AlliegatorPlays]

SAme!!!!

[@moppertrommel]

Me tooo

[@AudraAuclair]

Awe!!! Thanks Baylee! 💖 I hope you're taking care of yourself over the river.

[@FranMeneses]

yaaay Welcome back Audraaaaaa!!

[@AudraAuclair]

Thank you Fran!!! Sending my love

[@BianaBova]

As one depressed youtube artist to another, I'm very concerned by your comments about medication and wanting to "go back" to your no-medication, super-highly-productive days. From 2016-2017, I was severely depressed, had horrible anxiety, and was having daily panic attacks that would last hours. I "coped" by working insanely hard on my art because it was legitimately one of the only things keeping me alive. I finally got medication from a psychiatrist and my whole world changed for the better. Then, in 2020, I finally was like, you know what? Let's try going off meds. I've been fine for years, I'm in a better place, and I don't feel like this is necessary anymore. So I did, and wouldn't you know, my depression and anxiety are back-not as bad as it was in 2016 (thank god) but I am NOT doing well. Here's the thing about medication: no one wants to be on meds forever. No one wants to feel like they're dependent on a drug. But sometimes our bodies legitimately cannot function properly on their own without help. I've worn glasses since I was 8 years old-am I going to lower my prescription and eventually stop wearing them? Fuck no! I can't see!!! And do people taking insulin ween themselves off after a few years? No!! Because they would die!!! I don't regret taking time off from my medication to check in with my body, but it's confirmed for me that I really, legitimately do need this stuff to survive, and /that's okay/. I'd much rather take meds and be a happy, functioning member of society than be "free" of meds and have no will to live. Like.....the "triumph" of getting off meds is so minor compared to the ability to enjoy life. And as for your comments about wanting to go back to being productive like before.....I feel you. I compare myself to my 2016 self all the time. She was a shit show, but I tend to forget that because I'm too focused on romanticizing my insane productivity levels. What I've learned is that we as humans are always making progress and moving forward. Yeah, I'd love to be as productive as I was back then, but that work ethic didn't come from a healthy place. Me replicating that old life style is actually /impossible/ because I'm in a better mental place. Instead of being envious of your past self, I really think you should take a step back and think about what your present self currently needs and desires. You can be just as productive as your old self, but in a better, more healthy way. I, and thousands of others here on youtube, care about you. I'm glad you're doing better and I hope you continue to grow and better yourself in 2021. But please, for the love of god, be kind to yourself in the process.

[@_Obey_]

What you wrote about the meds really explains what I always wanted to say but couldn't find the right words for it. I wish other people would understand that too, it legit makes me doubt myself when people are like "You don't want to stay on meds forever, do you?" And then I go "No, of course not" but thinking "Can or SHOULD I even do that??" I mean hell, even on meds my productivity level is on a low 20% but at least I dont want to die on a daily basis and I can go to work lmao. But for anything private I barely have enough energy, even for the fun stuff. Depression is not something that you can get rid off and act like it never happened. Most people don't seem to get that.

[@serpentina3758]

THANKS

[@jhowardsupporter]

yeah you know. Been there. Went from working on deals worth $500,000,000 to having zero dollars in my bank account. Went from celebrities coming in and out of the house to running the knife across my skin just to see how much it's gonna hurt. Cos I'm in Australia and there is no firearms here otherwise I wise I'd already be gone. I mean it would be super convenient, like lights on lights off. Anyway it was just me and my cat and I pushed on to take care of her. Anyway god as given me this money (I follow Chinese Buddhism, so Quan Yin), so it's not my money it's her money, ie it's not for buying luxury cars to show off to people it's for helping plants and animals and you know what? I think that's a more meaningful life to live.

[@nightynightshade]

You’re awesome and Idk you but I’m happy you’re still here. Your one of the good humans and we need more of them on this planet. 💕sending you positive vibes. Edit:WOW you are incredibly talented and I just subscribed💜

[@jhowardsupporter]

@@nightynightshade You guys tried like the Samsung Galaxy Tab S7 for art? I don't wanna use a wacom cos they come with IPS displays and I don't like it. I like those super AMOLED and QLED displays and stuff. I use a IPS on my MSI laptop for photography and it hurts my eyes. I wanna learn how to draw anime! Also I didn't mention money before came from crime, we still were good. My best friends dad was a famous Mafia figure so it really can't be hidden. We were the Mafia back then. There was guns and everything. Like I got the Scarface The World Is Yours tattooed across my stomach. We were good people but like Tony Montana good.

[@tiramisubabe7055]

okay but I’ve actually never clicked so fast IN MY LIFE AUDRA😭😭

[@spacebluemoth8320]

Same girl, I’m shookt too

[@AudraAuclair]

😭😭😭 I have too many feels!!! I appreciate your support 💖💕

[@tiramisubabe7055]

@@AudraAuclair thank you😭🤍

[@sharlainjapan]

Yayayay miss you🥺💖

[@neverforgetpapa5386]

i was just watching one of your vids before this one!

[@sharlainjapan]

@@neverforgetpapa5386 Aw thank you🙆‍♀️💖

[@neverforgetpapa5386]

@@sharlainjapan 💜💛💜 for sure!

[@AudraAuclair]

Ditto!! I hope life in Japan is treating you well, can't wait till I can visit.

[@CODBlackOps6WALKTHROUGH]

The last time I saw you, it was so long ago, I thought you were called Sharmander

[@zoravermilya8993]

I audibly gasped when I saw this notification popped up on my phone. I refused to unsubscribe in hopes that you would be back one day and here you are! Welcome back!

[@AudraAuclair]

Awe! 😭 Thanks for sticking around Zora!!!

[@vadr0ka]

Audra, even if you don't come back again, that's okay. We still love you, I'm so happy that your doing better.

[@Chulips22]

It's so wonderful to see you return back to youtube. As someone who has admired your work since starting my own art journey, a lot of the rudimentary knowledge I learned about prioritizing mental well being as an artist started with your videos. It's also been a pleasure to see your work develop further on Instagram. Welcome back 😊

[@utopianm]

Literally as soon as I saw this video get posted I kid you not I was like “AUDRA?!?!”

[@alissa9754]

As a medical student it makes me so sad when medicine has failed someone. Sorry you had to go through that and wishing you the best! PS. Glad you are back! :)

[@abigailbrookes7721]

I’m a student nurse and I completely agree. And to hear a doctor not taking any notice when their patient is telling me they’re in pain is unbelievable.

[@AudraAuclair]

To be fair I have a psychiatrist who has never let me down as well as a fantastic dentist so I’m good on those fronts lol.

[@mandymma]

After two years without touching a sketchbook this video instantly inspired me to pick it up again. You were missed! I’m happy you’re back 💕✨

[@cancercarrot]

The lack of understanding around menstrual issues is so frustrating, there really needs to be more women in the med field, men just aren’t cutting it because they’re only seeing everything from their experience, which is natural but doesn’t help half of all humanity. Even my boyfriend is a nurse and his lack of knowledge and empathy around my period and female anatomy is actually baffling 😤

[@LenaDanya]

OMG!!!! Welcome back ❤️KZbin is not the same without you!

[@alysssaaag]

I have PCOS and Endometriosis, and PCOS causes painful periods as well please don’t let them invalidate anything , horrible periods. It could be both as well, it’s hard to diagnose endometriosis but I hope you find something to help with your pain. But I understand , OTC pain meds do nothing for me and been trying to find someone to actually help me and my pain. It’s just so difficult without it being invalidated .

[@Bobaily]

I also have PCOS and the rare times I get periods, it’s painful as fuck. But yeah those are very hard to diagnose and the sexism she faced because her health issues was “women related “ speak volumes to how sexist the medical world is. PCOS has cause me some of the worst depression I’ve ever had on my entire life

[@_TSC_46]

Crazy I’m re watching This video so many years later and i related so much to her and huzzah turns out i also have it haha. I remeber trying to convince my doctor something was wrong and her straight up telling me it was wrong. Ironically enough wasn’t till we switched to a male doctor he actually took me serious and told me ‘going 7 months without your period after being regular for years is NOT ok’. I wish I hadn’t suffered so much because of my pcp’s stubbornness

[@Dzaeli]

I feel like people feel like they have to constantly change and ramp up their content to keep up with their growth and the algorithm, but plenty of people just want more content like this. Glad to see you posting and even more glad to hear you're taking care of your health.

[@ElizaPrax]

i'm so happy you are doing better! ♡ i found out about your channel 5 years ago, when i wasn't even drawing at all and you were definitely the inspiration that got me into it! since then i'm following your journey through your instagram accounts and i'm glad to see you growing and even though not everything is great, you keep pushing forward! just like now, for making this video. you're so cool, hope you have a lovely day ✿

[@CODBlackOps6WALKTHROUGH]

your experience with doctors, especially about pain, is so resonant. Alot of chronic pain sufferers say that and for me, im not like that, but i do have pain and after all the hundreds spent on doctors, it just seems like they treat the patient like a job and they keep acting like they know exactly whats wrong with the pain, and they are completely wrong.

[@SophieRoseArt]

I've been trying to figure out how to comment something that would show how appreciative I am that you are back, but all I can say is at the end of the video when you say "you are probably tired of hearing my voice" could not be more wrong. I totally agree with you I love creators that are real, and raw and honest and you exemplify that and blow that standard out of the water, your voice online is a breath of fresh air and your art is gorgeous no matter how chill the video is. thank you for continuing to create and putting such "down to earth" (I hate saying that but its the only phrase that suits this) content out there. I don't want to comment anything that will add more pressure to you because I know whenever I get a comment on one of my videos even if it is positive it just makes me overthink things, but truly you could put out anything and I would enjoy it I think so thank you for continuing to put your art, your voice and yourself out there!!! happy you're back on here even if it's just for this one video

[@eloisemarch6289]

Ahh I missed you! Can't wait to watch!

[@Jo-dh2hx]

your point about doctors gaslighting you about lady problems is SO TRUE. when I was 17 I went to the hospital after 2 weeks of extremely painful cramps (like so painful that all I could do was roll around on the floor groaning and crying) and the doctor came back saying I just had an ovarian cyst which was super common and sent me home without even giving me any meds and telling me to just take ibuprofen and the cyst will go away. 3 months passed and I was still in pain so I went back to the hospital for an ultrasound. turns out that I had ovarian cancer and taking all the ibuprofen had caused an ulcer to start to form. If the doctors had taken me seriously in the beginning I would have been saved a lot of pain. Also senior year wouldn't have been ruined. So yeah that's why I hate doctors and resonate a lot with what you said about doctors gaslighting women.

[@mfvf97]

Such a wonderful notification to pop up! You were missed!

[@nanah6005]

Since about 3 years I've been following you and loving your art, your style, your expression, your impression, every single line on this god damn beautiful paper. You literally just made me cry with doing this video. Normally I change my inspiration daily, since I am a very changing person, but something about you just stuck with me. You are the person that literally made me dive into art again back in 2018. The person that made me experiment und be creative, the one that could inspire me just by seeing one small sketch. After all 2021 gave us a heavenly gift! Your story is so so empowering and I want to thank you for sharing this with us! I am literally crying cause I cant imagine how strong and brave you must be to AT LEAST TRY and come back to yt after all of this. And at the end I just wanted to say, do whatever the hell you want. This is your channel, and literally any art you do is amazing. These sketchbook pages make my heart skip a beat... Please please, give us more of this. Well, goodbye then, I have to do art now :D

[@becks13x]

I saw this in my recommended and immediately clicked.

[@apple.cheeks]

100% here for your chill KZbin videos!! I've always felt like your videos were chill art hangouts. Remember to take your time, don't push yourself too hard! The social media burnouts are real :'(

[@zanate4757]

Stopped everything I was doing to watch this, we really missed you! Take your time and I'm so happy to see you doing better!!

[@abigailh.5243]

this is so relaxing. i could happily watch you fill a sketchbook and chat for, like, hours.

[@euphy8031]

I'm glad you're back! I remember watching you back then when I'm just starting to get serious with art and you inspired me a lot! :>

[@biancaluv9754]

I'm legitimately in tears.i didn't think you would ever come back to KZbin. I love your art and watching the process and its just truly a blessing to have you back.

[@janeweiss4608]

First of all welcome back! It's nice and relaxing to hear your voice! Second of all, not sure if you'll read this, but there's nothing wrong with requiring medication for mental health problems. I suffer with PTSD and GAD. Without medication I was non-functional. My husband has severe Bipolar II and also must take medication. I love him no-less, and in fact I think is a brave person for confronting his illness. Mental illness is just as valid as physical illness. No one bats an eye at a person who gets chemo for cancer, and medication for mental illness is no different. It's super brave of you to put it out there on such a public platform. Be proud of yourself.

[@amberdulay7238]

I’m 100% here for the sketchbook chatty videos, they’re my faves personally. You’re right, the human, personal touch makes your content special. Don’t feel obligated to dive into “challenge” videos unless they’re what you really want to do. I’d love to see plein air painting, and I think it would be fun to see a “draw this in your style” challenge. I’d personally love to see your take on some of my favorite comic book characters (Swamp Thing and Poison Ivy). Again, no pressure!!

[@kirstiew7569]

I've never clicked something so fast Edit: I'm so glad you're getting back to a better place. I hope you're able to get your menstrual stuff sorted out so that you're more comfortable and happy. Sending lots of love ♥️ you're a badass!

[@Astharia]

You when someone when adhd is stressed or under pressure or even when on the period, the symptoms worsen. So unbalanced hormones do have an effect. But watching you paint, makes my day. I have a hard time being creative and picking up paints and pen and I just appreciate your style so much! I struggle with depression and such for many years now and honesty the most important thing is to be kind to oneself even if you feel kind of disabled when you can't achieve what you want and so I think you are on the right track.

[@VeryZesty]

This is so relateable. Though I have borderline personality disorder, it's very similar to adhd. Just don't feel ashamed or blame yourself, if you miss an upload or two :)

[@lAcedUpLiss]

They're not really similar. Adhd is more similar to Asd because they're both neurodevelopmental disorders. I have adhd and asd (aspergers).

[@VeryZesty]

​@@lAcedUpLiss My psychiatrist told me they're similar.

[@lucicahuette]

@@VeryZesty similar about impulsivity and emotional dysregulation (emotional dysregulation is present in a lot of psychiatric disorders though), maybe that's why he/she told you that :) Borderline disorder is more about instability in a lot of areas (emotions, relationship, behavior, personal identity). Borderline personality disorder is often linked to trauma, abuse, or emotional neglect in childhood, and the treatment is mostly psychotherapy. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental (you're born with it) disorder (but some other issues can cause symptoms that look like ADHD), the treatment is mostly chemical and behavioural therapy.

[@VeryZesty]

@@lucicahuette So, you wrote an essay just to tell me they are similar enough? Do you want me to remove the "very" part?

[@shannonfaust4490]

Your experience has been so much of what mine has been since around 2017. The isolation, healing sickness, moving, figuring out I have ADHD, general bitterness, navigating art motivation through the tanking of social media, almost all of it. I even started a sketchbook journal a few months ago to start coping. I would love to hear more about your process of making your sketchbook journal more personal of a reflection of how you're doing. With my brain, I just end up drawing random things that I wish had more emotion. I'd love to look back on my sketchbooks and have more tangible memories of real things.

[@persephoneblack888]

AUDRA'S BACK ♥️ I have endometriosis and endometriomas (cysts on my ovaries made of endometrial cells) and BOY is it PAINFUL every single month and the weeks leading up to my period, and because I have migraine with aura I can't take BC and because I have small cysts surgery is harder. Menstrual stuff is not fun, it really weighs down on your mental health and your physical health.

[@teresasmith3022]

I was feeling a bit sad and tired before I watched this, and now I feel way better. It feels so comforting to hear someone discussing their mental and physical journey in a really calm space, while the art just flows across the page. Thanks for coming back Audra!

[@KimchiyArtist]

the comments are so heartwarming, we missed you all so much! sending you love audra, you were the reason that i started to take art seriously. thank you for all these years of inspiration.

[@EmmaFalconerArt]

Welcome back. Don't apologise for making long videos or talking about your life, these are the things that make you and your art unique and it's lovely to see. I'm glad you're on your way to getting yourself well. All the best and stay strong. Thankyou for sharing your art 💜

[@brennal6332]

You're vids are never too long or too random, or not enough. Your talk and sketch vids are perfect. I put on and listen to while I sketch in my sketchbook too. They are so organic, it feels like I have a friend sketching with there with me. Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing with us, and welcome back. :)

[@Alissafy]

This year i was diagnosed with ADHD and I’m so glad you see you back on the platform. This video just got me through folding my laundry and showering and I’m excited to rewatch/listen while I attempt to draw again later. x

[@jesstunn3407]

Don’t stress about KZbin! You upload and work when you’re ready. Honestly I just enjoy seeing your art and hearing about how your day has been. Who cares about the ads? Your audience knows who you are and what you want to get across. You’re doing so great already, just keep going. Glad to see you’re at least doing a little better 🌸✨

[@LovelyGould]

This video couldn't have come at a better time in my life... I recently also just got diagnosed with ADHD and haven't drawn in two years. I love it and I just...couldn't work. This was such a big help. Been drawing a lot more these last two weeks and really just trying to not mourn lost time and focus on the future. So much love to you.

[@arashi.nakamura]

I almost passed out when I saw this vid show up in my sub box!! I am struggling so much with my mental health these past two years, and seeing you back on this platform again has been so inspirational. I love love love your art and have followed your journey for years. Much love!!

[@heathermcneill5967]

Welcome back! I love how human you are. I am also an artist that struggles with some sort of problem with my menstruation/womb and I still feel like the biggest pain of it all is dealing with the doctors and feeling like no one cares enough to truly help. I have depression and anxiety as well but hearing people, like yourself, be open and honest and just all-round chill helps me feel more human too.

[@laurencherryfield]

Totally okay, take it easy with yourself. Here suffering borderline, ahdx depression and bulimia. I don't let anyone pill shaming. It's needed, took me time until doc found the right medication for me. I know the struggle. I'm proud of you

[@lTriforcel]

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD as well and finally knowing what has been messing around with my ability to focus has definitely made me a little happier, by that I mean im not blaming my self all the time for not being able to work like everyone else. I now know that thats just how my brain works and I can now use some little techniques to help me work on things with my ADHD brain. Im glad that you've gotten so much help now! You've always been a huge inspiration to me! You and Baylee were the first 2 art youtubers I watched and have always made me super excited to start my own career in the art industry. Remember no matter how long of a break you need its okay! and we will always be here for you!

[@rebekah57]

I started painting during COVID and recently started following you on ig this past year! Your work has always resonated with me, and I have PCOS and have struggled with depression and anxiety for years and this was so relatable and therapeutic to hear. Tbh it’s kind of nice to know that even AMAZING artists like you still feel anxiety about their work and social media shit. You are not alone!! Self care is so important and I love how open you are about talking about this stuff! You take all the time you need! Put yourself first girl!!! You do you!! Just take it step by step and keep moving forward!!!!!

[@PostBlueHaze]

Definitely agree with you on all the popular trends with the bigger art channels, I truly dislike those click-bate-y "I spent an obscene amount of money on x" just to get views and justify putting more affiliated links they neglect to disclose. I like seeing people create art with actual content.

[@leahposton7857]

The amount of times I re-watch your old videos hoping for a new post is insane. Welcome back!

[@kuro0okami]

I have to say Audra that I've been following your stuff for I don't know how long (4-5 years ?) but it feels refreshing to see your presence online again. I rarely watch videos without skipping through anymore and on yours I had to watch as a whole, things just made sense to me when you said them.

[@rivaillewaiss]

I was SCREAMING when I saw this as my notification!! Your sketchbook/calm drawing/painting videos are so soothing, and all this time i've been relooping and just listening to you discuss stuff. I can't begin to express how thankful I am to hear you talk about your struggles, as I'm dealing with a similar situation. Thank you for all these lovely years!

[@bethfriends]

Thank you for being authentic, and thank you for coming back! It’s exciting to have a community of creators who value community over “followers”. So glad you are taking care of yourself

[@punktrash3681]

I remember first watching your videos when I was 15 and feeling so inspired by you, and you really motivated me to get more involved with drawing! Now I’m 21 (ik time flys) and still draw but it’s gotten worse to stay consistent, but seeing your videos again is reminding how excited 15 year old me was beginning this creative journey. 😌 It’s really refreshing

[@confusedsillygoose]

I like how you just talk. You sound comfortable, the vibe is calm. I like it, it feels very interactive with the viewer. Like you said, " "feels like we're hanging out". Its very relaxing and always a joy to watch you create your beautiful work. I hope you figure out everything with your personal life. Making sure you're okay is way more important than making videos and we understand. Take your time!

[@rejnboljunikorn]

I'm so happy you are back you have no idea. I'm literally crying. You are my favourite artist. I'm glad you are feeling better. We all missed you. You asked about what videos we want and I always loved your sketchbook tours ♡

[@esotericdrawing5856]

I really resonated with what you said about it being ok to not like a drawing and rather just enjoy the creative process. My philosophy is that the art-making is the art and the relative beauty or ugliness of the product is just an arbitrary outcome of the real art which is communicating truthfully. You inspired me to start an art channel and I have a vid on this topic if anyone is interested :) so good to see you back!

[@okay.keira.creative6694]

I recently began to rewatch your videos to learn how some of my favorites started out on here. It’s so great to be able to see you come back!

[@jasminemccaslin9112]

This is so relatable. Being an emerging artist after years and years of being afraid... social media is overwhelming and the feeling to be noticed and whatever. Depression gets the best of me for sure. I doubt and stop.

[@marilynflores2237]

Your sketchbook videos have always been my favorite, they help me relax and release serotonin. Keep doing you and whatever makes you happy with this channel even if it’s just a chill video like this it helps people a lot more than you would think

[@bianca4p]

Hey, first few minutes of the video and I'm already getting emotional. You were one of my main inspirations when I started. Back then, while I was sweating to make very beginner art, what you made felt like some sort of magic, incredibly far away and unattainable. The fact that I can now look at your art and understand how you made it, that doing similar things in my own way feels simple and almost easy is mind blowing. For very a very long time, I tought professional art was a life of fantasy, made for other people from distant times. And people like you that share their life and their art helped me see that it was not that far away. I started this month with more commission proposals than I have ever received, I'm selling calendars with my art on it and I'm working with a clothing company. And that is because you helped me believe this life existed. So thank you, Audra! May life treat you nicely from now on.

[@melasaik9203]

I literally just got so emotional over this, not gonna lie. I remember when I came across one of your videos years ago and was so blown away by your art it gave me a tremendous kick in the butt to pursue that hobby I had all my life in a more serious way ... I haven't gotten really anywhere with it yet still because life just kinda happened for me too but I still haven't lost that inner drive I got back then. I'm so so so glad, that you found help and getting to a better place and can't wait to see what you do with your channel now! I'm so happy, that this safe space is back on the internet again

[@moody1902]

You're honestly my favorite artist to ever exist , every single piece you do invokes so much emotion and makes me feel something. I'm so happy to see you back on youtube

[@parkerking913]

The queen has returned!!!!, seriously please don’t feel pressure for making art, focus on what you want and need. I absolutely love your art and it was very much worth the wait. We’re here to support you as a person, not you as constant output of content. Glad to have you back ☺️♥️♥️♥️

[@thalissacarvalho4109]

thank you so much for showing the painting you're not so fond of (although i still think it turned out really good) and opening ub about how you felt about it in the end. being able to relate to the struggles of an artist i admire so much feels nice

[@aliz4467]

I actually identify with alot of what you've dealt with, same menstrual issues, same mood problems.I love your artwork. You've gained a new follower for sure.

[@rachelwinkle9393]

Yassss!!! So happy you are back!! :D

[@PsychGal1980]

This was a brave and empowering post! On an art note, i felt so inspired to create while watching your process. On a health note... we are so blessed to have such an accessible health system here in Canada, but it also means that sometimes accessing what we need when we need it can be a lengthy process. You deserve a gold star for being so persistent about accessing the services that you need and advocating for yourself. About ten years ago, before moving to Ottawa, i worked in mental health in Victoria - there are some amazing therapists there, I’m glad you found someone whom you clicked with. Thanks for sharing your journey... I’m sure that it will have a very significant impact on someone who needs to hear your story in order to better understand their own.

[@starwhisp]

I'm so happy to see that you're back! As someone who suffers from PCOS, I can definitely resonate with a lot of what you're saying regarding how negatively doctors approach you. PCOS CAN be painful as well and it is definitely a disorder that encompasses soooo many different things, unfortunately. At this point, I consider it (PCOS) an umbrella term. A lot of women who deal with PCOS have issues with ADHD, anxieties, and depression thanks to the hormonal instability that comes with it. Your descriptions about how you want to do something and you have the motivation but the ability isn't there, and the manic force you feel when working--those hit me soooo hard. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@six.studios]

GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK! Me and my husband have been watching you for years and you're such a huge inspiration! I hope you're feeling better now than you have been in the past 💕

[@AmberMarz]

Audra, I loved this video and talk. I'm totally on the same page with you with...a lot of this. Going through health issues, fighting depression and the Suckiness of the world, and finding that place on youtube that seems to be forgotten and pushed out by flashier creators. I loved how down to earth this was and the imperfections you shared, keeping it super real. So happy to see you back and I hope you post at your own pace and give us more chats like this.

[@gabbycantskate]

I had a similar problem with depression and my brain just turning off, it can be so frustrating and scary! therapy and journaling helped me so much, I'm glad you've started to feel better and find some ways to improve your situation!

[@invinciblesummer13]

I miss old school KZbin too, and your videos have always reminded me of that. They’re like a comfy warm blanket. I’m so so happy to see you’re back 💕

[@stellaklaine9544]

Words can’t describe how thankful I am TO SEE U AGAIN artist on KZbin have not been the same they do click bait and 0 art that comes from the heart ❤️please take ur time feeling better and don’t push urself to much ❤️❤️

[@Voraxii]

You yourself, as well as your art, have been such a big inspiration to me for so long, and seeing you come back to youtube after all this time makes me overjoyed. I've had a very similar experience with posting to social media and dealing with my own depression and anxieties. Even if it's something you truly have a desire to do, summoning that willpower is just inherently more difficult for people that struggle with mental illness, I can speak on that firsthand. Over the years I've been fortunate enough to have come to a more stable state, but I have always found it hard to get myself to do the art I know I can and want to do. In regards to your statements about the pressures of social media, for a while, I had a decent following on Instagram for my cosplays, but at some point a began to dread posting my work. The projected expectation that I felt from the people who followed me became more of a hindrance than encouragement, although I know whatever I posted or not they would support me. I know it's not easy to shift your perspective and even I myself am not back to a point where I post regularly but seeing you take the step to come back into this space is really really encouraging for me. by no means do I want to put more pressure on you but I just wanted you to know that, when you are able to, those who support you will always be here to provide encouragement and support of your work.

[@mintyartsy4346]

Wow I really relate to your story.. My art journey grinded to a halt a few years ago. Turns out I have ADHD, was diagnosed a month ago. I’m desperately trying to pick up where I started but it seems impossible. I’m glad you’re back!

[@rominagalotta5966]

I'm glad to see you back. No pressure. I just like to watch your paint process, how you lay colors and how you move around the page. As a fellow artist, I understand that mistakes come, especially in a sketchbook. It should be a place of play and relaxed drawing without expectations. I hope you can find your happy place and just paint.Good luck!

[@swinnei1853]

I have a massive print of yours above my bed. It’s my favourite peice of art. Don’t worry about messing up your videos or your upload schedule because your art is still here. We still see all the old peices and look at your art and get inspired by it. It hasn’t and it will never fade.

[@reannaday]

YAY! I normally don't comment on videos but I've been following your art journey for years now and I'm so happy that you are back! I really appreciate you being so open about your struggles and getting help! You are not alone and it's amazing that you are helping end the stigma around mental health issues. Keep following your bliss and don't feel pressured to people please, I will always love your art / whatever you create and so will all the real supporters! So grateful and proud of you and super excited to see you step into all the abundance that you deserve - you are worthy of it all!

[@thatwitchisfelt]

This video did my heart good. I really appreciate the chill conversational style that focuses on painting and drawing, and your art is just so beautiful. I hope you are able to find as much joy in making these videos as I found in watching it

[@briwidmerart]

I cannot express how excited I was when this video appeared. I have missed your art, your thoughts, and your videos here. I also favor videos that feel like relaxing with friends - I just want to relax and unwind while watching KZbin. I'm glad to hear that you're doing better and getting answers and I wish you the best in your continued quest for resolutions to your pain. These spreads are gorgeous and I loved watching them come together. Hope to see more soon, but please don't push yourself too hard if you need a break. Also, hello Lopi - wishing you well too.

[@nyliacam]

This meant so much and really hit home. Thank you for being so transparent, and choosing YOU first.

[@maroonedinblue]

This video is so calming. Thank you for talking about how your mental and physical health has affected you and how doctors didn’t really take you seriously. I’m in a similar boat (undiagnosed but there are things I’ve always suspected) and its just nice to not be alone.

[@JenniferCharleeArt]

So nice to see you back

[@kafka1787]

As a person who struggle's with mental health on daily basis I'm proud of you, it takes a lot of courage to get help and accept it. Thank you for being so open and honest. I'm glad you're at a better place. Sending lots of love towards you. ❤️

[@skocz5915]

I'm relieved that you are back. I have so much anxiety going on right now, I'm scared of university, my exams, if I will manage to get a job, if I'm ever going to be artist that I want to be, if my family will be safe. Your videos helped me with my problems since 2015. The humanity you are talking about, it was calming me every time I was watching your stuff. You are the only person on YT that does it to me and I'm really, really grateful because it means MUCH to me.

[@loretta1099]

You were one of my first art inspirations when I was starting out. Watching your sketchbook tour videos made me want to do something similar, so I started using my sketchbook more. 5+ years later and I just graduated university last month with an art degree :) It's so awesome to see that you're doing well enough to come back! I love these videos where you just chat while painting is going on in the background, hope to see more! ~

[@BrookeSR]

I feel you, I've been struggling for a good year or two finding my passion and love for my art again. Its hard, and im still struggling at times its blocked me so much from doing what I want to do. This year I've decided I really need to work on my health to find myself once again. Keep on fighting! ❤

[@benjaminvargas8762]

It's really nice to have you back Audra :) We love to hear what you wanna communicate, you're great as your art is, and it's great to have you and as long as you feel comfortable too, we are all humans and we have our demons, hugs to you!!

[@sachiko5974]

you're very precious i must say. i felt everything you said right in my veins cause i felt like that a lot. this is a process and i hope this wont weigh you down as much anymore. i wish you'll reach whatever you want in your future, and that it will be what YOU want and need. it is the worst thing to be forced to do what you dont love. but i really like your videos, and also i think the 'chill' style videos are really on the rise since 2020, i started playing animal crossing and that whole community is really into it, you put a video in the background and play or draw and its very relaxing.

[@juliashepherd19]

omg I feel like a psychic. I literally just randomly searched up ur channel today to watch ur old videos! welcome back!

[@gabrielblack5805]

I am so happy you are back. I have been content enough with your insta posts, but there is something special about your KZbin content. This is still one of my favorite channels of all time, and I'm sk glad you're back!

[@astridjansson6129]

oh i relate to this struggle so much! i have add, borderline and ptsd with depressions, that went undiagnosed until two years ago so i totally feel your pain! so happy to hear that you're on the right path and remember that recovery is not linear! you're so strong for sharing your story!❤

[@rain3948]

Its so hearth-warming to see you back TAT we missed you and having your chill vibes back is surely the best thing we could wish for right now in those hard times

[@m.h2557]

this really hits home kinda. I was diagnosed with adhd when I was around 8 or 9, but I detached myself from that until very recently when I was trying to figure out my emotions and that I have rejection sensitivity and that really changed how I processed my interactions. You are one of my favourite artist, basically the artstyle I aspire to have, the skills etc.

[@mondrache]

It's nice hearing your voice again! I'd love to have more recent non-drama videos. I hate that any media outlet puts so much emphasis on exaggerated things/emotions. Yes they sell but that's precisely why they do not need your help.

[@sketchysketchin3361]

you've always been such a grounding presence for me in my art journey, because it's comforting to have watched someone who's experiences and struggles look so similar to my own hurdles. Thanks so much for posting this, I'm sure I'll come back to it when I need reminding that people I really respect go through some of the same stuff I am now (and so I, in turn, deserve my own respect.... its a tough one lol!!!). Anyways, just thanks, I'll be sending positive thoughts regularly, here's to you

[@thefantasychickart]

The way you described your journey sounds so much like my brain, I really want to get a therapist and star uploading on KZbin once a month. Thank you for sharing so honestly and making me feel less alone thank you for creating 💛 welcome back you’ve always been an inspiration

[@moonyeoonn]

I found your youtube channel back in 2016 and I get to know you a little bit through all of these years. I am really happy to hear that you are healing (I'm healing too) and happy to see you again connecting with art. Thank you for talking about these topics, thank you for sharing your art and time 💖

[@Ricky_Rose]

Hi Audra! Welcome back! I think it’s really inspirational to have you back for now. Even one video from you once a year is good enough. You inspired my art journey three years ago and I wouldn’t be who I am without you or your content. I purchased two of your books and am planning on purchasing two copies of you next one. My grandmother feel in love with fragments volume one and and I know she’s going to love fragments two! I would really like to see you do drawings about things you are passionate about. It could be anything from a show you watched or Nimbus yawning really big. You are amazing and you deserve to feel amazing!

[@emmylove20]

I am so happy you’re back. I’m so proud of how hard you’ve worked to get to where you are now. Keep investing in yourself ❤️ we’re behind you 100%