I'm bisexual?!

[@kayleighdonald1038]

“I’m coming out again” I shouldn’t have laughed 😂

[@JakeFTMagic]

mate, I laughed

[@CelesteM]

This is such a fascinating way to differentiate between bi- and pan-. Thank you for explaining the nuance as you experience it so eloquently!

[@BrandyAnd]

this explanation of bisexuality is exactly what i’ve always through about myself, but i used to think i had to say i was pan to let people know that i like more than just girls and boys. i really enjoy this, i’m glad i’m not the only one who has this sort of view on bisexuality!

[@daneekaplan4284]

I'm much older than you and I do find your generation feels the need to label themselves far more than any other generation. Personally I don't think it is necessary. I am who I am and I don't need to define that for anyone else. But I say that as a very cis, very heterosexual woman. I've had it easy and I recognize that. Having labels means a lot to you and I would imagine if I had to fight for my identify I would feel exactly like you do. But I loved most about what you said was that we can change our labels at ay time. That is a very important concept. Too many people get boxed into a label at a young age, usually by family or their community and then feel like they are stuck there. They should feel free to define themselves at any age. Because at the end of the day we have to live with ourselves and we should be the author and owner of our own labels.

[@JakeFTMagic]

Danee Kaplan what a wonderful comment!! So many people in the older generations get so dismissive of our community wanting to label themselves. It’s such an empowering thing for many people! I only have a problem with labels when it makes someone unhappy or feel restricted. We should all have the choice to label or not label, and always respect other people choice in that too.

[@stressedandinneedofrest3826]

I sort of gave up on trying to fit myself into any boxes (gender, sexuality whatever) and now I'm just in this gray area of "I'm cool with anything"

[@emilycrowleyyy]

jake!! thank you so much for this video. just like you, i came out as pansexual when i was like 14(??) and as i have grown i have realised that is not and i had never met someone who used bisexual the way i did (bc labels are v personal) and i, therefore, felt like i was using it in the wrong way. i always explained to my friends that i was bisexual then explained why and then they'd say 'oh no hat's pansexual' and i hate it. so thank you!! thank you for making my version of my label valid to me again

[@miltonroberts7948]

You and Alex are really pretty remarkable human beings. You are intelligent enough and kind enough to explain things I am sure many people are confused about. And you have helped this senior citizen gain a better grasp of the subjects you discuss. Thank you.

[@JakeFTMagic]

Milton Roberts

[@rachelmantos]

this is exactly what i went through in my relationship with labeling my sexuality. thank you, you expressed this so much more articulately than i've ever been able to

[@JakeFTMagic]

virtualkidrachel oh bless, thank u!! Glad this resonates with you

[@dannimclean4887]

Great video Jake! Labeling yourself is very personal and what makes you feel comfortable is what’s most important. I️ appreciate you talking about the difference between pansexual and bisexual in that pansexual implies a lack of caring about gender in the person you are attracted to, not just being open to any gender. I’m biromantic bisexual, I am capable of feeling attraction, both romantic and/or sexual, to people of any gender, but their gender (or lack of) is relevant to how I️ am attracted to them and how that attraction relates to my own gender (I’m an AFAB male-aligned trans non binary person). But if that’s not how someone else wants to define that label then that is totally up to them!

[@quirkyblackenby]

I like that people are seeing the term bisexual differently

[@MaxRebelliousPirate91]

Doesn't matter what word you choose... It's only a word, the meaning is defined by you. To non lgbt people I say bisexual. But mostly I say I'm Queer (meaning pansexual and romantic in my case) yes reclaiming slur.

[@PopcornEmma]

As an English Language nerd, I just want to point out that the English language is constantly evolving in more than just the definition of labels. Every person has their own associations with certain words even if they don't have a completely different definition. For example, one person might associate 'orange' with a cardigan their grandma used to wear, but that doesn't mean that everyone thinks of grandmas when they see orange. Everyone has their own way of looking at the world and everyone has their own way of using language. Don't let anyone take that away from you.

[@foxfoxelliott]

This is SUCH a perfect example of word association!!

[@samivayajd]

LOVE THIS DISCUSSION AND I LOVE YOU! Its not about the person who necessarily changes, its the evolution in the understanding of who they discover themselves to be. We will ALWAYS be ourselves but we will always come across new levels of understanding through our experiences.

[@JakeFTMagic]

JD Dalton YES! Exactly. And whilst we might even change how we feel over time, redefining that through labels is great! We can stay the same and relabel too.

[@alyssaballet]

So incredibly well spoken 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@felixalex9794]

you little inspiration you

[@ashdoesstuff]

How do you have 200k subscriber but have no video up on your channel.

[@erinbalanzar1854]

I'm just sitting here just clapping my hands throughout the whole video 😂👏👏👏

[@NotPMHarper]

I've found that the more comfortable I've gotten with who I am and who I like, the less inclined I am to define myself with labels. I've started saying "I like people" when asked what my sexuality is more often than asexual or panromantic and to me that's really empowering because I was really insecure about labels as a kid. But I'm really glad you find labels and the ability to change them empowering!

[@Stephi603]

I really like this video, the eloquence and delivery was really great, I totally would love to see more of these

[@MrJinzoJr]

I mainly use the label queer now. Sometimes I still use bisexual. For me bisexual means im attracted to one or more gender. Also love the video 😃

[@groovymoonshoes]

Pansexual here- I totally support this. Bisexuality has never felt like a good fit for me, and I can't explain it any better than that. I personally think that bisexuality is totally inclusive of trans and nb identities, but using pansexual rather than bisexual is what fits me. And we're all totally valid for using the terms that fit us the best!

[@myutube5882]

You make sense to me Jake. I think you explain things really well! I love that you wear nail polish and love your hair and glasses. You have become a very good-looking guy! People are fluid and so are labels so it makes sense that we would continue to redefine ourselves over time. I have just come to say the heck with it all and just be myself.

[@danvloon]

I'm so happy you're finding yourself bit by bit and that you feel comfortable and safe enough to come out and be an inspiration and role model to so many people!

[@JakeFTMagic]

Danni van Loon I love you pal

[@got_legs]

You’ve summed up why I label myself as bisexual and not pansexual! Thankyou,it finally feels like someone gets it. For me,bisexual is two or more genders,romantic and sexual feeling are so obviously different to me because I can be romantically attracted to anyone which will develop into sexual;however I can be sexually attracted but not romantically. I can fall in love with anybody that’s fantastic. Bisexual fits me the best and I’m proud to wear that label

[@jeremybearimy3487]

I always love watching your videos because you're always just so open and honest and helpful. I think that I'm also becoming more comfortable with myself as I get older and I'm so happy that you talked about this! It's also awesome that you talked about changing labels and that it's okay because I think that sometime people expect you to choose one label and deal with it forever and that if you change your label you were "faking" or whatever. Thank you so much for be awesome as always! Ily!

[@thatinternetteen5616]

I love this, youre not worried to let people know that you still are questioning and thats okay. Theirs alot of KZbinrs who are sure about themselves and it can make people who are questioning, either for the first time or the 20th tim, think they have to know what they are the first time Edit: i typed this before you began talking about it 😂

[@Elzabeth69]

You did a very good job explaining all of this Jake! I tend to shy away from completely explaining complexities like labels in the ever changing gender and sexuality spectrum simply because I don’t always know how and this helps me understand how I can better do that in the future! Thank you! I also didn’t even think about being bisexual and also pan-romantic at the same time, I’ve always thought of myself as bisexual and demisexual but I think I can identify better with pan-romantic thanks to this video! 💜

[@JakeFTMagic]

Elizabeth Witt you can also be demi whilst being bi/pan. Demisexual is a label that can tac on to almost any other label :)

[@pxtxrparkxrcos2172]

So proud!! I'm glad I've gotten to be here to see you grow so much I love it

[@ahidkmyname2292]

love this video... i've actually been having very similar feelings to this for a long while and been feeling less connected to pan and having it feel awkwards, and more (strongly) leaning to bi, but however i still knew that gender didn't play into me falling in love with someone- and yet still, similar to you, i experienced sexual attraction differently. i didn't know how to put this into words and unfortunately still felt and do feel the pressure to say i'm pan so people know i like all genders due to the" bi is exclusionary" rhetoric that's rooted in my brain. Anyway, all i'm trying to say is, from one trans nonbinary (and now i realise also possibly bisexual and panromantic) human to another, thanks for making this video and keep on being you x

[@abbyblack]

I just discovered your channel through Hannah, your voice is so calming! a similar thing happen to me going from pan to bi, it's great to listen to other people experience almost the same thing.

[@SoluneMoreau]

I relate to every part of this!!! "Pan" was an important label for me when exploring my own gender, but I have come to reclaim "bi" as well once I understood that it was inclusive, and acknowledged that I was physically attracted to people including (and not despite) their gender and gender presentation. I'm still attached to "pan" and still feel pan feelings though (e.g. if my partner were to come out as trans/nb or if their gender expression became more fluid it wouldn't change, not only the fact that I'm romantically attracted to them, but the way I'm romantically attracted to them) so the idea of being bisexual and panromantic fits me and allows me to reconcile the two labels! I love this! Thank you so much

[@onecupofsoup]

I love ya Jake. I love how you grow and change your labels as your understandings and feelings grow and change.

[@laceyemery4758]

this is exactly the way i feel!! thank you for expressing it so well!

[@MargateOswald]

I can relate to this as this year I've redifined myself from being bisexual to gay, back in high school when I was 16 I thought I was bisexual but this year it clearly registered that I am a gay trans man it took me a while to adjust to me saying I'm gay but also a relief as I kept trying to proof I was into women when clearly I'm not. If I got into a relationship with a woman or if a woman asked me out I wouldn't want to put her through heart ache by saying I'm gay. Men have always been my main attraction sexually, romantically and emotionally. Thank you Jake so much for making this video...you rule!

[@xander-ig5jz]

I've been thinking about this whole bi- pan- nuance thing, and I feel like I feel the same way. This makes a lot of sense. I've been kind of nervous to "redefine" myself or "re- come out" and this makes me feel a little less nervous, like I won't be seen as "changing" my orientation, just as having a better/newer understanding of it.

[@alexpearce1368]

The message you got across in this video was so important and I agree so much. Thank you for always putting out such important, good messages to the world

[@ghostie1974]

We are always changing and growing and as we grow so do how we feel about ourselves and how we see the world around us. Very interesting video and good seeing you again Jake.

[@TigerPrawn_]

Robyn Ochs's definition of bisexuality and the discovery of the bi+ umbrella really gave me peace when I was stressing and questioning my sexual identity. I love how labels and words can have so many definitions at the same time and people can come together in one space even if they have differing relationships with a certain word. I also love the word queer because it's so flexible, all-encompassing and doesn't have to pin you down. But also bi representation is so important, and I love it when people claim the word bi. The only certainty in life is that everything changes, and yes, as you say, we have do accept that re-definition is a part of life. Hey from another bi, panromantic non-binary person ♥

[@winterguts9914]

It may sound super cheesy but this video really helped me to accept myself. Sometimes is hard when everybody around you is open-minded enough to accept you changing you own labels but still you are super hard with yourself... So, yeah, thank you for being so inspiring (and sorry for this mess)

[@BrandyAnd]

heck yeah

[@jamiemcjam5219]

I really needed this thank you 💖

[@itsiceYT]

"Utter Bollocks" Too British Jake. I know where my more britishness comes from... aha x

[@saoirseryan4542]

jackson lennon/miloh posted then you post!!! this is the best day of my LIFE😊😊😊😁😁😁

[@lukesurzyn6554]

this is a LOOK

[@andiehernandez1995]

Great video! I'm glad you're using labels that make you feel more comfortable and connected to yourself. I personally use bi, pan and queer kind of interchangeably. Love you Jake

[@rainesavage510]

We are forever evolving beings, and that is a beautiful thing 💕

[@isabelagusmao6504]

i relate soooo much. like, when i was 14 i came out as bi, then at 15 i started dating a girl and thought i was a lesbian so i came out again, then i realized i was still attracted to men so i was bi again, then i found out about non binary people and redefined myself as pan, now i use bisexual and pansexual interchangeably lol. i just love how language works and how it can evolve so fast ❤

[@okyeah4sure]

Great video! If asked, I define myself as bisexual. I do think there is some pansexuality overlap when I think about my romantic attraction, and I did identify as such when I was younger. You said it best. It can be very "out of body" when you become romantically attracted to someone. Labels can be a bit confusing, but also very liberating!

[@eviesharp17]

You are wonderful oh my, this is very informative and i'm so proud of you

[@charliebeare2605]

I relate to this so much. I honestly haven't labelled my sexuality in so long because honestly I have no idea what I want to be labelled as.If someone asks me what I'm into my simple answer is "I like people". I don't really how what else to say about how I feel. I am attracted to people of all genders and I really can't be fucked giving myself a label. Although I have been saying "I'm a flaming homosexual" quite a lot recently.

[@violetsnotroses3640]

Yay for using the split attraction model!!! As a demisexual lesbian, being able to call myself both is so important. Whenever I have to fill out a survey that includes sexual orientation, there's that award moment where I have to choose whether my being gay or my being asexual (if they even include asexuality) is more relevant, and it feels super invalidating.

[@G-vu9hq]

This is very similar to how I explain my connection to the label bisexual over pansexual. I feel while I can be attracted to all genders, someone's gender does play a role in my attraction to them, rather than my attraction being regardless of gender.

[@cclchipmunk]

This is exactly how I feel and thank god I can link this video to everyone who asks me why I’m bi and not pan!

[@VeganPirateNinja]

So well said! I really relate to this :) I'm bisexual for this reason, I'm attracted to more than one gender (people anywhere on the gender spectrum) and I think it's outdated to think that bisexuality means attraction to only men and women for everyone.

[@xlf1017]

Very well worded, absolutely loved the video :)

[@fiona2339]

With your video, I just found an explanation for how I feel (I'm bisexual as well). Thank you so much Jake your honestly such an inspiration to me

[@fiona2339]

*you're

[@jaypeg7618]

this is so fucking great, thank you 💕

[@MujigayMemes]

Props to you, you explained the nuances between being bi and pan perfectly!

[@astoldbybianx]

Me!!!! I totally get it! I first heard that definition from a another KZbinr Miss Finder . And it totally clicked !

[@Max-po6ls]

I absolutely love this video in every way (also: as a linguistics student, y’all can fight me if you don’t like redefinition)

[@jessmahan2527]

I LOVE YOU AND EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS VIDEO!!!

[@mariandemoya1702]

i don't think i've ever related so much to a video as much as this one. wow.

[@loonylightsgood]

I am pansexual and I also agree with you that's how I always felt

[@Rachelka45]

Thank you, the video was amazing :D I love the lighting btw

[@dylanhenricks2296]

I say I’m pansexual because I would potentially date anyone of any gender, I wouldn’t not be attracted to someone because of their gender, but I wouldn’t say for me that gender never plays a factor, unlike what most people say pansexual is, so I’m a little confused about it.

[@alessakurjanen3015]

I have always thought that bi means male and female attractions but as Jake explained it actually make more sense to be like attracted to same gender as I am and other genders! And even if I feel no need to define myself with labels at the moment, I think it is right that everyone can try on and change their labels whenever they feel like it. Also it’s always good to remember that the meaning of some label might be one for some people and totally different for someone else :)

[@JakeFTMagic]

Alessa Kurjanen exactly!! I think a label always has a general definition, but people can tailor that label to fit them however they want.

[@sleepyzebra11]

Looking good all around dude, much love

[@jennifervasquez]

When i was first trying to figure out what the fuck my sexuality was i looked into so many labels and i overwhelmed myself so i ended up going for the easiest one and just identified as bi and eventually came out as bi but it never felt completely right and i eventually rediscovered pansexuality and realized i felt much more comfortable with that label because honestly gender never crosses my mind when im attracted to someone and my mind doesnt understand how gender could possibly affect attraction[not saying its wrong or anything just that my mind doesnt understand it] so i nervously let people know i had changed labels and it was honestly fine everyone was just like "ok cool what does that mean?"

[@JakeFTMagic]

Jennifer Vasquez that’s great!!! Sometimes it can be helpful to use a general label as a stepping stone because the other labels are overwhelming. You do what you need to do to be comfortable and take it from there!!

[@TigerPrawn_]

I feel you with that whole being overwhelmed with labels when you start trying to figure out your sexuality!

[@jsonotlike]

I like this talk. Good thinking, man!

[@fffanilll]

Aw Thanks 🌷

[@alicefleur1851]

As I was watching this I had a revelation and was like oh shit I’m pan romantic as you described it

[@Emrousse771]

I love the way you see bisexuality vs pansexuality! I think the exact same way 😊

[@lydia722]

when i was discovering my sexuality, i came out to my friend like 5 times and she started getting sick of it. I’m still questioning but i’ve got a better idea now

[@phnix6368]

This helped me so much

[@mc_lara2230]

Tbh I kinda gave up trying to find a label to define my sexuality. Figured I’d just go about my life and if I meet someone I want to be with, as long as they want to be with me then that’s all that matters to me really

[@kniferoomba4682]

This video came at a really good time for me bc I'm doing a lot of thinking about redefining my gender at the moment. Everything you said was really interesting and helpful.

[@JakeFTMagic]

maximumawkwardness awh Thanks pal!! Hope it helps in some way

[@thetastiestjam]

This just adds to the list of ways I am American Jake

[@LaurenB94]

Yas! Great talk!

[@emilyrose6242]

YOU ARE JUST AMAZING

[@kinekine96]

I've never felt connected to the term pansexual and have always used bi to define my sexuality. I define it as "Being attractred to people like me and not like me"

[@cosnerd1555]

God im glad im aro, its so much less complicated. I dont know how the rest of you keep up with evolving labels.

[@Embly99]

this is super super interesting and important! go u babs ily

[@oliverchannelle6919]

I've always used bisexual for myself related only to genital configuration; i.e. it doesn't really matter what someone has down there.

[@eyarberman-roth7868]

Thank you, Jake.

[@hellokatya4205]

Ничего не понимаю и всё равно смотрю

[@jepradeta1267]

Golden Snake жиза :)

[@zaptorzim]

You are so awesome! Btw, that toy in the background reminds me of the one in dirk gentlys detective agency 😊

[@JakeFTMagic]

yumitoo mjee teehee, totally isn’t the same toy

[@brendonlittle5791]

Honesty I’m so inspired by you I love you so much

[@bookslug2919]

Jake, get an LGBT+ Sorting Hat 😉

[@poofballoon]

You look older, damn, it’s nice. You look more mature

[@dayzisgray]

I literally just came out at bisexual after identifying myself as pansexual as well! I’m also trans, female to male!!!!! We should be friends.

[@maurajones1876]

Yassssss

[@ashleyashleym2969]

I prefer the definition of bisexual being that one is attracted to 2+ genders instead of your and other genders because what about those who are only attracted to the binary gender and they're not binary or those who are only attracted to nb genders and they're binary. I feel like 2+ just includes everyone it needs to include especially since bisexual is also used as an umbrella term.

[@millisarose2902]

I love your videos about genders, sexuality and community because its really important thing (aaaand I like your nails)(sorry about gramatic mistakes, I'm from Ukraine)))

[@rikkitikki-tavi140]

I find all the explanations of different sexualities and 'romanticies' (without a better/correct term in my vocab) just make me kinda so confused in myself and just kinda makes me despise having to find these labels to make me feel complete (something i found i was very in need of a few years ago) and as all these terms have found a name and a definition its making me despise that feeling that i get when i just dont know. So when people say 'so are you a lesbian' i say no because im not as i have currently a few little feelings towards a trans guy, but then when people say pansexual that's not right either because gender is a thing that is there when feelings are involved (i know that doesn't make sense but it does in my head) and then like bisexual is weird because like i never felt right saying it because like it just isnt me ... and then like dont get me started on gender and the romanicies side of it all!!! So, Hi im Gay, and i use that term in the most umbrella way i possibly can!

[@Shintilla08]

It's not news that pan and bi differ just in politics and not in facts lol. I will always use the labels that the ones who surround me prefer, but I personally think that this whole dabate is kinda detrimental to the community. It seems to me that there being two labels instead of one confuses people more than explaining the situation. That being said, I'm happy you feel comfortable in this "new" label and I wish you the best

[@daneekaplan4284]

I went to Elsie Fest and thought of you- Darren Criss's Broadway festival. He was incredible. If you haven't seen the video footage you need to watch it.

[@natalieparker9710]

Nice video. Here are my thoughts on using the word pansexual for myself (for MYSELF, not anyone else): Gender is extremely irrelevant in my attraction to people so I like the word pansexual for myself because it very much fits with the "regardless of gender" definition. I think another one of my personal hiccups with the term bisexual is that I don't quite know my gender. So how can I say that I'm attracted to people of the same gender as me when I don't even know what my gender is? Or when I partially believe that everyone's gender is different and therefore no one has the same gender as me? One of the things that I always really liked about the words pan and bi and queer is that those labels don't require you to know your gender. As opposed to I'm a girl and I only like other girls (lesbian) or I'm a girl and I only like guys (straight). I feel like with this new definition of the word bisexual it now requires you to somewhat define your gender. So not only do I feel connected to the word pan because I fit the literal definition but also because I can remain wishy-washy on my thoughts surrounding my gender. Not that you can't if you identify as bi, again this is just for me. Also, isn't "queer" like the best word ever? I love how ambiguous it is. I know that some people are uncomfortable with the word so I would never place it on other people without their permission but it's an incredible word for me.

[@JakeFTMagic]

Natalie Parker wow that’s a lovely take on bi/pan!! I hadn’t even considered the fact that someone might use these labels whilst still questioning their gender (which seems very obvious to me now). But that’s cool!!

[@TigerPrawn_]

I really like your comment. I was just going to say that there are several definitions of the word bi, and one of them can be "attraction to more than one sex and/or gender" which gives space to still be unsure/questioning your gender and still use the word bisexual. It can also be defined as "attraction to people of multiple genders", "attraction to people with a gender similar to yours and different to yours" - the word similar giving a lot of scope of not having to define your own gender, there could just be parts of you that are similar. So yeah. I don't know. Do what you will with that information :)

[@natalieparker9710]

cx45830 That's a nice point to make. Pan is still the best word for me right now but I'll keep that in mind in case gender does suddenly start to play a role in my attraction. Have a nice day/night.

[@firingflares7556]

Hello, I'm polyromantic :) I'm hoping to find other poly people, so then they know they're not alone :)

[@TigerPrawn_]

Hey :) I'm not sure I would use this label right now to describe myself, but I have done in the past. :)

[@treeacle]

THISSS THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING THANKYOUU

[@poisonpenss5569]

I was watching this and getting Benedict Cumberbatch vibes and I have 0 idea why

[@Mimi_Neha]

I’m really confused to what you mean, but I don’t care really. You’re still you and still have lots of love towards you.Hope you’re having a nice day ^_^