I'm Going NO CONTACT With My Parents AGAIN For Treating My Husband The Way They Did r/Relationships

[@Russman67]

Story 1: this went from a simple not the asshole to a "holy crap I need to take a shower" story. OP's dad is disgusting and mom is just used to it.

[@justine8387]

Mum isn't used to it she just doesn't know what to do. OP has stepped in as being the adult and is leading the family now.

[@Davtwan]

Mom also needs a spine. She constantly goes for the oath of least resistance despite clearly not being in a happy relationship. Sad! Edit and spoiler: mom stood up to her husband! I bet she’s glad saying something she felt she should have said years ago.

[@kellypatterson8506]

I wholly agree...I need 2 a shower 🚿 in BLEACH.

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

Right?! 😯

[@itsjustmaddisen]

@@kellypatterson8506 Honestly, same. I’m so grossed out.

[@nat123.]

The replies to story one are just sick. OP should have NEVER been pressured to share info she was uncomfortable with sharing for the entertainment of others.

[@tophesshtzgiggles609]

the sad part is that OP didn't need to share that info. It was very obvious by the little she said initially. I do wonder if the "numb" effect was her early response to father's abuse

[@PinkMarshmallows]

Story 1: "My dad is being weird and my sister's husband doesn't have to do this so why does mine?" Your mother already explained it. Your father is racist towards your husband because he's white. NTA. Edit: Sounds like OP's mom and dad don't like eachother. Edit 2: Eww. OP's dad wanted an incest relationship with OP and he's jealous of the husband because of it. And OP's mom was complacent in all of it. Maybe she was actually scared, maybe she wasn't. But the fact is, OP's mom did *NOTHING* to help.

[@pansprayers]

Dad has a gross, weird thing going on with how he views his own daughter. They may not like each other, but the unfortunate reality is that culturally, divorce may not be in the cards. Pretty common with the culture I grew up in for marriage to be viewed as an obligation, and more of a financial/status pairing. Luckily OP is able to understand that she's worth more than her father treats her as.

[@SherriLyle80s]

This is just... No words. I cannot believe how far downhill that first story went.

[@growinghigher420]

While I 100% agree but I also think maybe the mom stayed to prevent anything from happening because she knew if he was alone with her that would be it🤔 like the mom is obviously still shit but what would've happened if she did leave but then he'd have visition?

[@RSARYR]

@@growinghigher420 this is unfortunately the case of many people that I want to leave there abusive spouse. They feel like they can't leave because no one else will protect the kids in the way they can. Probably feel like not a lot of people around them can help them either because of embarrassment or because of religious reasons or family reasons. Edit: I also wanted to add that the mother, unfortunately, has been trying to do it for so long that she is probably thinks she can't leave because she's already too deep into marriage. Very sad.

[@pippo17173]

Ya ummm, the dad is getting so close to their that I wonder if he knows or just unaware how far he is pushing it.

[@DivaViews]

Story 1: I hate that Reddit insists upon every little detail even though your privacy is supposed to help with anonymity. It doesn't or shouldn't change the advice for the general issue. Ugh, just trauma goblins looking to be fed. That poor woman.

[@DerekScottBland]

The abuse OP must have gone through... I hate the internet so much.

[@literallycringeidk360]

When I was younger I asked for advice involving my mom…fucked up day. People claimed my story was fake because I wrote about something bordering on sexual abuse and left out a few details. I was a young teenager on the brink of tears while typing, I was just desperate for someone to help me. I got comments accusing me of having sexual feelings for my mom and writing incestuous stories about me and her. I threw up and cried.

[@kellyalves756]

@@literallycringeidk360 I’m really sorry that happened to you. I hope you respect your incredible bravery in making yourself vulnerable when you needed help, even if people took advantage of it. Hope eventually more compassionate words reached you.

[@Ivy94F]

@@literallycringeidk360 It nauseates me that this happened to you. So many of those ppl act like they want to help but that whole toxic environment ends up being another source for trauma. I’m just glad that there are at least some ppl who truly want to understand and help ppl, and they often do.

[@e_rebus]

Part of the reason why I have the AITA sub blocked. Just a hivemind of scum that follows the judgement of the first few comments. Hell, most of those people don't even seem to read the whole post, just making snap judgements and calling it done. Disgusting creatures.

[@Alissandre_Iskander]

Story 1: shame on everyone that harrassed and bullied OP into giving that horrifying update. They basically victimized her all over again... as if her father's heinous actions weren't enough.

[@TheNormExperience]

Agreed. You can have an opinion, you can be mad, but BOTH Op and her husbands were the victims here to this insane behavior. And being mad at someone for being a victim or blaming them for “allowing” it isn’t the way fam. We can all do better than that. Furthermore, absolutely NO ONE (certainly not strangers in the internet!) get to demand your share your trauma with them. People on Reddit need to remember this is someone’s real life, not a story for their entertainment.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

@@TheNormExperience I agree so much with this. Nobody is entitled to your story, much less details you aren’t comfortable sharing. That made me so angry.

[@jakeand9020]

Am I the only one that knew what she wasn't saying? Seemed pretty obvious to me.

[@magnarcreed3801]

Victimized? That’s a bit much bro.

[@ingloriousbetch4302]

​@jakeand9020 it was blatant. Some sick f*cks just wanted to see it.

[@deeplyblue7299]

Story 1: For those having trouble reading between the lines it appears the OPs mom is been aware for a long time that her husband has an unhealthy view toward this particular daughter and her being married to a person who is white is only a secondary issue .The old man is angry daughter married a non Muslim because of xenophobia however he actually seeing her as a potential partner is a very sad reality she has to now deal with and yes she will need to go NC with them and seek therapy to come out of this revelation in one piece .

[@ciomaria6137]

That is a good sum-up of the major issues in this story. I’m wondering if the “numbness” that OP keeps mentioning after the confrontation is disassociation? What made me think of that is that she said that her father did things to her and she didn’t even realize. The story is more worrisome the more you think about it.

[@pippo17173]

Ya the moment the mom and dad are getting so uppity about the husband, its just flat racist motivated.

[@kellyalves756]

@@ciomaria6137 Yeah, and it’s so effed up that internet strangers are just lining up to further traumatize some poor woman who just got her entire life nuked. I hope she can keep some sort of contact with the mom, because God help her, too.

[@deeplyblue7299]

@@ciomaria6137 what hurts me to hear the most is that the mom was fully aware or how her husband have felt about their own daughter for all these years which makes sense as to why they did not go visit the grandkids in the first place. And the mother-in-law knowing this has the balls to go yell at the son-in-law for making her husband feel uncomfortable because he is married to the woman he is pining for who happens to be his own daughter. Mothers like that deserve to be pushed away never to be seen again how dare she stay with a guy who openly tells you “ I want to be intimate with my daughter” sickening

[@Cell287]

True

[@AndyyWithAY]

And, I get so tired of people on Reddit acting like in the heat of the moment everyone should behave in perfect form. It was late at night, the mom barges in on OP and her husband while they're changing. They have two babies crying. They've driven 8 hours here. The husband is uncomfortable about his MIL seeing him in various states of undress. The husband decided to sleep on the couch to ease things. Are they supposed to drive hours to a hotel or 8 hours back home?? Is OP supposed to yell at her mom and her dad and wake up her babies who are in a strange house?? Maybe she needed to apologize to husband later for not defending him in the moment, but all the hate OP got was just ridiculous. So many people are perfect at all times. I'm definitely not. I Eff up sometimes, sometimes I have to apologize. I'm a human being.

[@joleneking4261]

@@melodyharpole8272 did you even listen to the story? She KNOWS that she fucked up but pulling on that and calling her disgusting names isn’t the way to solve this. Her husband understood that, so why are internet strangers entitled to cussing her out

[@garnetj69]

@@joleneking4261 well put, I really don't understand why people think they can be so ugly to others just because they don't agree with how someone handled a situation in 5he heat of the moment. None of us know for sure how we will handle something until we are in the situation. Lol it's amazing how professional therapist we all become on these sites. May you always be blessed.

[@magnarcreed3801]

I just think it’s interesting because if races were flipped, would you still feel this way? If some Asian or black person was being harassed by OP’s family. Would you still be going “Oh mistakes happen, you were tired!” I think that’s the thing to focus on.

[@HuskyMama1009]

Certain subs in Reddit remind me of an old site named Etiquette Hell. It started as a place to demonstrate bad behaviors surrounding weddings and neighbor interactions then exploded into uppity Mean Girl know-it-alls where the mods and commenters would rip you apart. Sitting on the sidelines versus being in the situation are two different things.

[@bookmarkobjectanimations123]

You are correct, 100%. And the people that were attacking her for not saying what was told about her dad in the update. I almost yelled what the fuck when i heard that. You don't say to someone going through a traumatic situation that they're lying because they don't want to think about everything. Ya know. Like people who have gone through trauma.

[@TheIronwil]

Honestly OP didn't deserve the hate she received. I understand the idea, but she's in her 20's and this was a bizarre event. Throwing in the disgusting behavior on her father's part, and this is a lot for anyone to take in suddenly, especially at that age. She quickly regrouped and set her boundaries. She understands she should have stood strong in the moment, but I don't think she's a terrible person for folding under this pressure. She's obviously learned a lesson and is 100% behind her husband. I could understand a little criticism, but people need to give some slack given the circumstances.

[@justine8387]

No one's reaction to anything is ever good enough for reddit's armchair experts.

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@justine8387 Yep. This came pretty much out of the blue and the shock of the moment plus both the OP and her husband being tired out after driving for 8 hours with a three year old and a two year old in the car (hey, I was a little kid in the car with my sister and parents driving 8+ hours to Grandma's house, so I have an idea of just how kids behave in the car for that long) threw them into shock and they just did what they thought they needed to do for their kids at the moment.

[@jaymel4691]

Yeah, and those commenters demanding to know everything are assholes too. She shouldn't have felt like she had to tell all that very personal, awful stuff about her father just because a bunch of asshole internet strangers demanded it.

[@TheNormExperience]

Agreed. I know any reddit story can bring trolls, it’s the part of Reddit I absolutely hate, especially when people post pouring their heart out in a seriously messed up situation and are so vulnerable - but accusing her of telling ‘half-truths’ because she didn’t want to detail her own Father’s obvious untoward actions and words against her? Like...read between the lines people! **OP’s trauma is not your free drama.** How about NOT re-traumatizing a victim by trying to force her to validate that her own father is actively sexualizing her by trying to get all the gory details? I just can’t come up with a word gross enough for that...

[@jackspring7709]

True: sometimes redditors do get things badly wrong.

[@wplains]

Yikes, budding incest story here. Dad had very inappropriate“feelings” for his daughter and Mom knows about it. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I’d never speak to him again!

[@mk_gamíng0609]

Mom not only knows about it, She had to stop him from assaulting his daughter.

[@justinburgard4700]

​@@mk_gamíng0609but it's not his fault you know it's religion and culture....

[@dracawyn]

That numbness is likely disassociation. The fact that that's a common thing OP's brain has automatically defaulted to throughout her life suggests a lot of trauma. Disassociation is one of the brain's defense mechanisms against overwhelming pain.

[@bunnyslippers191]

It does sound as if she has developed a dissociative disorder.

[@impishrebel5969]

Not necessarily just overwhelming pain, no. It's a trigger to certain kinds of situations and stresses.

[@stephaniewilson3955]

As someone who has developed disassociation myself, that was the first thought I had.

[@borountree4539]

1st story: That state of numbness is shock, your bodies reaction to severe trauma. In this case of an emotional nature. Therapy will help a lot. Take care. 2nd story: OP is staying in a bad marriage because she is afraid of being alone but doesn't realize she is already alone, with an acquaintance that treats her badly. Leave the marraige and solve both problems. Then you can find someone who truly cares for you.

[@Bijecarli]

Wow my blood is fucking boiling thinking about the kind of messages that would make OP blow up the way she did in those comments. GIVE ME THEIR NAMES. That poor woman....I know her husband was the one offended in the story, so I don't know how the hell he is taking this in stride, but OP has clearly been through something disturbing.

[@justine8387]

Absolutely, she is dealing with the trauma of abuse and betrayal, meanwhile reddit "YOU OWE US ALL THE DIRT" I will join you with a burning stick and a pitchfork when you are ready to go... can you bring snacks?

[@ajax068]

@@justine8387 I'll bring cake

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@ajax068 I'll make brownies and Chex Mix!

[@Bijecarli]

Yall bring the snacks. I'll bring my voice that breaks glass since I ain't tryna incur charges for these nasty fuxx. I know how to make people cry.

[@carolroberts4614]

Bee Dubyah! I will join my terrible voice in harmony(disharmony?) with you and have them flee for the hills in terror!

[@AndyyWithAY]

There were so many AHs in the comments in story 1. Ignorance just means lacking knowledge. If you're not South Asian or haven't researched it, you would be ignorant of that culture. I figured by OP not wanting to discuss the stuff with her dad was something along those lines. She shouldn't have felt pressure to reveal those private things.

[@pansprayers]

Exactly. Ignorance is just a lack of knowledge. I really wish that people would use the Internet for more than sh*t posting, and actually look up word definitions, instead of making up definitions to fit their narrow perviews. Merriam Webster has been online for almost twenty years.

[@deeplyblue7299]

Learning ones father has incestuous thoughts is a very traumatic and to hear it from your own mother who choses to stay on his side is even more painful i wish the OP luck and peace and hope seeks therapy.

[@carolroberts4614]

What is the matter with those redditers, that they treated Op like that? I am appalled for her! I hope she knows how that there are many people rooting for her.

[@roowyrm9576]

It is horrific the way that some people feel entitled to attack vulnerable people who have opened themselves up in order to seek help. I often see updates that mention this, how complete strangers do this, as if being online and anonymous means they can be complete b*****ds.

[@carrissa8867]

Unfortunately it means they can without any consequences it's sad that that's what they choose to do instead of work on their own shitty behavior

[@karab7626]

PSA for anyone who goes numb and feels disconnected when under extra stress like the first OP did. You're most likely disassociating. How can I say this? Well, due to severe childhood abuse and trauma, my first reaction to stress is to disassociate. That numb, floating, dream-like state is a defense against more trauma and is a coping mechanism.

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Ewww.... I hated story 1. That shit is so nasty. My father also acted jealous of my husband after I got married. I never realized it but it turns out he was interested in more than just parenting me. It makes you feel dirty and disgusting to know that your father could look at you that way. I feel so terrible for OP.

[@itsjustme7487]

My dad lusted after me, so I understand. I also kept my daughter away from him.

[@Becks-and-books]

I cannot even imagine what that is ilke. I'm so sorry you had to go through that

[@bubblegum_flavor551]

@@melodyharpole8272 💀 No dude lusted after his own daughter

[@indyfmw]

@@melodyharpole8272 bro it wasn’t just racism.

[@noxiouschocolate9644]

@@melodyharpole8272 it’s half of it, the other half is something I’m not even sure what to name.

[@pansprayers]

The good news for OP 2 is that she can walk away, and that she isn't the same person she was when he cornered her at 20. Leave him, find your happiness and joy - because he's not going to help you with that.

[@BruinPhD2009]

So true! This is a great example of “you can do bad all by yourself.” Why would she want to stick with this loser? I hope she does find the means to get away, stay away, and move forward.

[@victoriakiteley8337]

It's what happens when you have a relationship with older people, you think that they are more mature but the mindset that they have is "woman stay home" like the knuckle dragger he is 😊

[@bricksloth6920]

2nd story: you're afraid of being alone? Girl. YOU'RE ALREADY ALONE

[@carolroberts4614]

I discovered when I was married that there are worse things than being alone!

[@owl7072]

Story 1: What's with people telling grown ass, _married_ couples that that they aren't allowed to sleep in the same room together? This is like, the third story I've heard about it, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened 3 times Edit: Imagine calling someone an AH for not being perfect and civil in the middle of a heat of the moment incident. You can't tell me that if it was late at night, and you were dead tired from driving for hours, and in the middle of changing for bed that you would be civil and/or ready to throw down when your mother unexpectedly barges into your room and starts demanding your partner sleep somewhere else because she'd rather be mad at you than tell her toxic husband to sit tf down and shut up.

[@rylashadow18]

I feel disappointed in anyone that was harassing the first OP. She just found out she was a victim and instead of allowing her that right to privacy, to getting help and healing like they should of given these inconsiderate jerks made demands of knowing things that were none of their concerns. I hope the OP doesn't think everyone on Reddit is there to put her life under a microscope or treat her that way. To those that went and pushed for something that's none of your concern do all of us a favor and get off the internet. I'm glad to hear she has plans to cut her dad out, I hope she's thinking on therapy for the trauma of what she's been through and I hope she's continues to have the love, support and care from her husband as she moves forward with the only family that matters. The one she's creating. I hope that your future can only be brighter OP. For the second one I'm going to give you and anyone else who needs it this advice. When you hear the alarm bells going off as red lights flash or it sounds like that air raid horn from Silent Hill while red lights flash please take it seriously. Especially if the person who claims to love you is degrading you, demeaning you and having you doubt your self worth. No one who cares about you would ever say that or make you feel that way and you should never take that from anyone either. Leave people like that where they belong on the corner of nope and never happening again. Please have better days that outshine the bad ones. Please always know that people who care about you, support you and are there for you will never allow you to ever be torn down regardless of who does it. That no one gets to destroy your self worth ever. That you'll always matter. That whatever hardship your facing it can, will and most definately get better. It may take time but it will. You are capable of so many unimaginable things. After all you're here living this life that you can tell the story of. Make that a story full of your most amazing worth.

[@lmjpc1]

Story 1 sounds like the literal last visit grandma and grandpa will ever get.

[@chocolattemocha8512]

You know, I'm starting to hope one of these days someone writes a comment on that sub chewing out the people on Reddit for attacking people for not knowing what to do in certain situations or simply asking for advice without having their story cherrypicked and twisted in a way that would make them seem like an asshole or getting emotional during the heat of the moment. Some of those commenters really need a good chewing out. But then again, they'd probably be banned or have their comment deleted lol

[@eljay1980]

Story 2: The best advice someone gave me when I was in a toxic marriage was "it's better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you feel alone" and since leaving my marriage I have been so much happier. I hope OP is able to move forward and find someone who loves her and treats her the way she deserves.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. Time to go get a room and get away from those racist weirdo's. Bump those people who had negative things to say or felt they were entitled to know everything that was said to OP by her dad. Couldn't they figure it out a bit themselves? I got it. People suck. 2. I am thrilled that OP broke that ugly cycle she was stuck in. She is still a young woman and has a great chance to find true love. She's going to find a man who will simply adore her and spoil her rotten just because.

[@mk_gamíng0609]

When OPs mom explained to OP at the end that one quote she said, spelled it out OPS father wanted her sexually . I honestly think the father would of been a asshole to any husband she got, even if they were of the same culture and Religion Does not help the Husband is white tho, they are racist bigots

[@civivva4501]

'I am numb, I do this sometimes. I will be like this for a few days.' WOW PTSD and trauma normalised. I hope op gets therapy.

[@gorudashiro]

You made my mom's day. She's actually the one who introduced me to your channel. She's been watching you since you were Daddy Cringe, and I've used Goruda Shiro for twenty years, a fact she knows, so you mentioning me in your video was almost as good for her as seeing me on TV.

[@BruinPhD2009]

The first story by itself made me truly sad. The fact that some people on Reddit couldn't resist piling on a sad story when there are things that they may not understand (or worse, really don't care except to be hurtful) infuriates me. I get that this sort of criticism/attack is a chance anyone takes when they post on a social media platform, but you'd think folks would stop to consider how they'd feel if they were on the receiving end of such vitriol. Sigh...

[@keplersdream901]

No, OP is the asshole here. If she decides to marry a white (or non-Indian) dude, then she needs to accept the consequences. It's not OP's husband's (or her half-white children's) fault that his wife reverts to being a doormat. I'd guarantee that if OP's husband's family were doing the same shit, you'd be criticizing the husband for allowing his family to hurt his wife. Stop using wokeism to justify your racist beliefs.

[@sadtitties222]

​@@keplersdream901 Lmao, you must be one of the anonymous commenters that messaged the OP with nothing but cruelty and attacks. You literally added nothing to the conversation with your comment. And really, "wokeism"? Lol, get outta here with that mess! 🤣

[@BruinPhD2009]

@@keplersdream901 Hilarious! I didn’t say I disagreed with the people who pointed out that she could have done more to defend her husband; those were valid points. What I disagreed with is the people to whom OP referred that went overboard, including sending direct messages that clearly went beyond the subject at hand, and I stand by that. And woke racism? Again, hilarious.

[@simonO712]

@@keplersdream901 Dude, people aren't perfect. She made a mistake in a stressful situation and owned up to it afterward, no need to gang up on her. You're also makimg a _lot_ of assumptions about people who disagree with you.

[@keplersdream901]

@@simonO712 Quit whining. Marriage is a very serious affair. OP did her husband dirty and Reddit was right in taking her to task. Yes, she "owned up," but she also whined a lot in doing so. Frankly, her husband should think carefully about the future of the relationship. This is unfortunately too common among South Asians, and rarely does your generation take them to task for their virulent racism and sexism. Had the genders and race been reversed in this situation, we wouldn't be arguing this at all. Stop being racist.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: I talk to my wife when she's sleeping all the time. I don't say negative shit though. I tell her I love her and how lucky I am to have her. I shower her with sleepy love and she doesn't even know it.

[@elenaalejandra1372]

I'll preface this by saying; I'm extremely cuddly with people I know and trust. My friends and I all just happen to be very affectionate. Anyway, I have a sleep disorder. It's a bit complicated, but one of the ways it can manifest is in me seeming to be completely asleep when I'm not. I remember my best friend stroking my hair and cuddling me while telling me how much he loves me and how much he likes to see me happy, and all sorts of lovely things while thinking I was completely asleep. It was the sweetest thing and made me feel so so loved. And to be clear, we've established consent on that and are both happy to be snuggled in our sleep!

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

That first one turned out more horrifying than I expected. 😢

[@AnymousScreams]

I feel like I've met a man just like the second OP's ex. He gaslit, said similar things, and used the lines for initiating sex. Still hurts but time heals, and I think OP will heal, too.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - OP needs to keep herself AND her kids far away from her parents; dad because - just eww! - and mom because she is too afraid to lose this creep, for some reason. She is far better off with in-laws who seem to be relatively normal people.

[@ItsCamille735]

I think some redditers on these subs forget they aren’t reading stories but actual messy situations written by people who aren’t going to always have perfectly clear heads in the heat of the moment, people who might not want to release all the details on the trauma they’re only just processing in real-time, people from different cultures or other situations that mean the situation that work for commenters could be impossible for them.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I'm proud of mama. I'm glad she stood up to her husband, check up on her.

[@Davtwan]

I bet she wanted to do that for a long time. Go, mom!

[@gelasiakidd8076]

The second story reminds me of the guy who gave me C-PTSD. Love bombing a rape trauma victim and promising them the world then tearing them down emotionally for not being enough? Poor dear..it took my own experience to realize that people like that just want someone they can mold into a doll and are too broken to fight back.

[@berylwheaten9385]

@gelasiakidd I'm so sorry that you had to experience something so terrible 😭😭😭😭🥺😤🥺😤🥺😭😭😭😭

[@gelasiakidd8076]

@@berylwheaten9385 thank you. It's not an experience that I wish on anyone but it has equipped me to help others in similar situations and I can't regret that. Nightmarish it may have been, but the more people talk about these things openly the less people they can trick into those kind of predatory relationships. These kinds of discussions and videos are so good to save people in the future. It might be heartbreaking.. but it can be a thing of hope, I think. Protect those who don't know they can protect themselves, yet.

[@berylwheaten9385]

@@gelasiakidd8076 I have family and friends who have been through similar experiences and it breaks my heart to know that no one said anything or tried to help

[@gelasiakidd8076]

@@berylwheaten9385 thank you for sharing that. I appreciate you

[@berylwheaten9385]

@@gelasiakidd8076 I'm happy that you are doing better in life and that I could give a bit of comfort 🤗

[@autumn557]

This is just proof how toxic Reddit truly is. Someone will always find something to tear someone down with.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

It’s sad and disappointing. This person just needed advice, not to be torn down because they’re a clueless asshole.

[@Germania72]

Story 1: That was a horrible plot twist. Hope she gets therapy for that revelation.

[@emilybarclay8831]

Honestly Reddit was as bad as OP’s dad in that first story. They bullied her for not acting perfectly 24/7, bullied her into projecting her trauma to the internet, and bullied her into a near breakdown in general. God Reddit fucking sucks a lot of the time

[@catkendall5680]

I'm a slightly curvy women, when I get comments, from a so called loved one, I point in a different direction so he looks that way and say; "see over there? Look that way if looking my way is disappointing to you!" Then I hand him my compact mirror and ask him " what do you think is so special about you?" Does that shut them up quickly! I don't care, my dogs love me haha

[@seshthecat]

Well done to OPs mum in story 1 for finally standing up to her husband and for her apology.

[@ThePinkBinks]

Omg I really relate to what OP’s father is like and I just want to give her a big hug. It’s horrible to have a narcissistic father with unhealthy views on women raise you like that. OP’s stronger than she thinks though because she isn’t like him despite his treatment. The fog will lift the longer she stays away from his abuse.

[@happilyevernever4289]

It's not unhealthy views of women alone. Dude was literally creeping on his own daughter!!

[@lunahix4815]

Hey waffle king! Story 1's ending creeped me out. Like the dad has a daughter complex or some shit. (Not proud to admit, I had to look up what daughter/mother/brother/father complex meant.)

[@catharineholton49]

If op is reading this, I think she is being so brave and strong. She stood up for her husband strongly, and she supports her mum. I think under the circumstances, she has been wonderful. I wish her and her wonderful close family all the love and luck in the world.

[@princesssunshine874]

I feel bad for OP's mom... It's clear that she is being beaten down by her over bearing husband. She seems like a good person at heart that is in a really bad situation. I really hope she gets out.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Being afraid to be alone is always an enormous red flag. You should've broken up 8 years ago. People like different body types, but you shouldn't be with someone who treats your body like it's disgusting. The absolute worst thing is being in a toxic relationship. You're already there

[@pansprayers]

Eight years ago, she was an apparently traumatized 20 year old who's brain was still developing, being taken advantage of by a 32 year old who was using her for whatever he could get. Thankfully, she's hopefully coming into her own now.

[@jamieroark5769]

1st story: OP, it sounds like you have an amazing husband who obviously loves you and your kids more than life itself. If you feel that talking with a counselor about how you are feeling right now, it would probably help you to make sense of everything you've been put through. I wish you the best of luck, and please give your husband and kids a big hug and maybe find something fun you all can do together

[@lista2308]

Story 1: Op needs to keep herself and all children away from her 'father'. Using that term lightly because no father says, thinks or does that. 🤢 Story 2: divorce with a no contact order. That aint a 'husband' that's a serial killer in the making 😨 I feel like the "father" and "husband" would either be best buds or the greatest enemies

[@indianspartan76]

The amount of South Asian elders I have to argue with about intercultural marriage is crazy. It's not considered the norm in South Asian culture

[@thetiredcynic]

And yet so many Indian/south Asian men creep on effort and East Asian women wth ???

[@HackiePuffs]

“Father was jealous of my husband” uhhh 🤢

[@theminisimmer]

First OP's parents need a divorce. ASAP. I do have an inkling that maybe it's not that simple. Edit: OK... Ew... Ew... O.o

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

The fact he said “it’s OK you can lose weight“ when he thought you were asleep…… WTF? I would’ve broken up with him right then and there. Honestly I’m not surprised, considering the age gap older men always do go after younger women and basically want them to act like mothers/servants rather than partners. EDIT: Didn’t mark read a story where the girl who met/Married her husband when she was freshly 19 asked if she was TA for pouring his sweet tea down the drain but in an updated post just spilled her guts about how he was basically abusing her and isolated her from her friend/family so he was all she had? Like he did petty things like called her childish for watching her favorite shows and said she looked disgusting when she wore sweatpants episode a hoodie while relaxing on the couch. If I remember correctly when she said that she was leaving him he basically just said “OK” and packed up her stuff for her. When they were separated he didn’t even try to get in communication with her.

[@AndyyWithAY]

It's clear her self-esteem is low because she tolerated that

[@tinyspiderqueen2355]

As a csa survivor i immediately knew why she didn’t want to talk about it. People are nosy af. If someone says they don’t want to talk about something for personal reasons effing respect it and move on.

[@Sage-um9ol]

Story 1, it's almost impossible to "get over" something as horrifying as your father doing/attempting to do things like that to you, and then posters re-traumatizing her all over again..my heart goes out to her.

[@Unknown_101_]

The first story I thought I heard her blowing up at the 13 minute mark I was like that’s the mental breakdown. It was gonna happen and it happened. Numbness for multiple days is not in never should be Normal.

[@storyjumper]

Mark, love bombing isn't just gifts, it's compliments, being extra helpful, hugs, kisses, basically anything that screams, "I'm showing affection"

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 2: FFS, leave him! What on earth are you waiting for? Ugh, this guy sounds EXACTLY like my ex, right down to the part where he changes life plans for you both without even telling you.

[@sylvirsterling8275]

gah story one was so sad and reminded me too much of what I went through too, and the people of reddit scare me too much cus of reactions like what happened to poor anon, hopefully she'll heal with time and therapy

[@definitelyarealperson248]

I’m pretty sure the mother was just blaming the father in the first story. The father may of had the same beliefs but i doubt the mother was enforcing the rules just because he would complain. She just didn’t want to deal with the fallout so pushed it on him

[@definitelyarealperson248]

Never mind. I got to the bit where the mother stood up for the daughter. She still might have some dislike for the situation but maybe not

[@nickidennis8958]

Yes! Being strong is having your own opinions of that's what's written on your heart, and keeping them/ standing up for them even when it's hard, you'd think standing up for your own daughter would be even more incentive, idk don't have kids or a mom in that kinda relationshit but that's awful.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

@@nickidennis8958 it was said that the mother felt scared so while things may not have been physically abusive. I imagine things were hard for her too. Doesn’t excuse her not standing up for her own child though. But it does bring some understanding as to why

[@tiryaclearsong421]

@@definitelyarealperson248 I don't even think there's enough evidence to set aside the idea that the mom is in a physically abusive relationship. It's certainly seems very abusive emotionally and OP may not even know what goes on when they're alone. Something is keeping her there even while she knows her husband is reprehensible by basically every culture's standards.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

@@tiryaclearsong421 true

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@FlamesofJagger]

Take care of yourself Broken.🤗🤗 We need more positivity in the world and you bring a lot to the Waffle🧇🧇 Gang. Much love my friend 🤗🤗❤️💜🤗🤗💙💛🤗🤗

[@icelliana4684]

Hey you. I see your comments a lot. And they always make me happy. You’re an amazing person and keep being you, because we need more people like you in this world, and you’re freaking amazing. ☺️

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@icelliana4684 aww I'm glad they make you happy, 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗 much love

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@FlamesofJagger 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@garnetj69]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 what a beautiful, kind, compassionate and amazing person you are. May you always be blessed with love and joy. Sending you love from Sandra in Canada 🇨🇦 ❤️

[@youarehere594]

Last story, sounds to me like the hubby treated OP like dirt because he knew he had her and didn't have to put any effort in. Now that she's done with him he's realized he doesn't have control of her any longer and is trying to get her back. I wonder what he's been telling friends/family about their separation. I also kind of wonder if he had a side chick and OP was just the fall back for him. After all, up until now OP has put up with everything, OP leaving was probably the last thing on his mind. Good for OP, I wish all the best for her.

[@jerriewyatt905]

Story 2.. There’s worse things than being alone… get out of the relationship and start going out and meeting new people..

[@michaelwest2388]

i now know the great feeling of finishing 1 mark vid to find a second waiting to be heard. it is truly a wonderful feeling

[@susankaempfer8427]

I seriously hope OP 1 can find a good therapist. What a horrible dad.

[@boundtogoboogie]

Love your voice, but especially love your kindness.

[@Swnsasy]

How is she scared to be alone when that is what she has been the entire 5mths... I'd rather be alone alone than alone WITH someone...

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

Story two: that's why young women need to taught to avoid men that are much older than them. Many men that go for younger women do so because women their age won't put up with their crap. And those men need to get with a naive woman who doesn't know better.

[@Ambidexter143]

Story 1: A husband and wife sleeping together is considered perfectly normal by everyone except OP's dad, who is an AH. It appears that dad wants an incestuous relationship with OP and is jealous of husband. Story 2: OP is already alone. She should just make the status quo legal.

[@picolo4862]

Wow the father is sick what the actual hell and the mom did nothing wow that's just wow 😳

[@BlueAnimeCat21]

story 1: that numbness could be dissociation, its very common when going through traumatic situations at least thats my opinion since i also tend to dissociate when im feeling overwhelmed... i tend to go into what i call "autopilot mode" while i get spaced out and end up sort of "locked" out of my own head it might be something to look into for op but i dont exactly have a reddit account and it might be a little late to bring it up

[@TypicalTroglodyte]

1st story. I just feel bad for OP Reddit can be helpful at sometimes but is really toxic as a whole if we’re being honest. I just feel bad for the poor women, mob mentality can be a hell of a thing especially when it’s turned towards one direct person. I just hope she gets the help she needs and is able to find peace in her life despite what she decides to do in the future.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

I want to find the post for the second story so I can tell OP that they are worth so much more, and that they are incredible. If they were worthless then they wouldn't have had such a life changing promotion. That (hopefully still ex) husband tried to drag her down so she wouldn't have the confidence and self esteem to leave him. In order to get such a great promotion OP must be intelligent, hard working, reliable as well as many other skills. That in itself is incredible. I wish OP could see that about themselves 🖤💜.

[@AraAra6367]

OP1’s dad is horrifying..

[@KaJEN01231990]

Love your husband and children. I hope you feel better soon. You did nothing wrong and handled it in an adult way. Ignore ignorance. You sound like a strong and beautiful woman. You are special and I am proud of you. You need to be proud of yourself.♥️♥️❤️🙏🏽💕

[@AndyyWithAY]

Why would you want to initiate sex with a man that has made negative comments about your weight since the beginning and needs to watch women who probably look nothing like you to get aroused to have sex with you?? And she has past sexual trauma. Which makes it even more likely. That sentiment is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

[@Slicksterpat]

I am Pagan. One of my best friends is Muslim. His brother is a very respected IMAM. His brother the Imam once said to me that I know his religion better than most followers. My response was Salam Alikam. He shook my hand and said Alikam Salam.

[@groofromtheup5719]

Honestly, many Muslims are not encouraged to understand the faith. They are too often told to chant in a language that they don't understand and follow orders.

[@JootjeJ]

Thank you for brightening up our days every day!

[@jennyspeicker4712]

I feel horrible that reddit users felt entitled to her disclosing her trauma for their entertainment. She's obviously dealing with dissociation about it, and I'm very proud of her self awareness and loving heart, despite the clear damage done to her. I hope she gets therapy, and heals from this. She deserves it, and bless her saint of a hubs.

[@252stardust]

Now knowing about the father i wonder if the mother caught the dad watching the daughter changing and that is why she barged in at that moment.

[@user-wj5cx2zp7v]

1st story: OP, just point blank refuse to stay at your parents house again. It's not worth the drama or the stupidity. Get a hotel or airbnb next time. In fact if I were in your shoes, I'd be tempted to steal / tamper with the parents bed as petty revenge.

[@ScarabD]

Poor OP in story one... I think I know where the 'numbness' she described comes from (I say this as somebody who is very much NOT a therapist, so take it with a Himalayan mountain's worth of salt) It sounds like it's a coping mechanism she probably had to learn at a very young age and has never fully gotten over. No surprise, with a dad like that. I hope her mom gets away from her dad and maybe develops a better relationship with OP and hr husband again. It feels like she too has been the victim of qabuse for years: that doens't excuse her, of course, but the scars and behaviours of abuse victims run deep, and she seems willing to address it.

[@dm9078]

I feel so sorry for OP I hope she gets therapy and she and her husband go to counseling. Red flags started showing up right away but she stayed with him and married him. WTF is wrong with her? For the love of god DTMFA! Edit she already is alone. 🤦🏽

[@sabastiantaylor7209]

I would never allow anyone to disrespect my wife and/or myself/family that way. I would have left regardless of how tired I was. Incredibly rude to his wife/their daughter and their family.

[@justlooking1299]

Story 1 is why i believe that reddit needs to be not used for these situations. People resort to The main things 1. No contact,2. Insilts 3 you need therapy. With little to no real contact and super invasive behavior

[@jameshutchinson2817]

Honestly by sleeping on the couch the husband may have saved his wife and himself, who knows what kind of reaction that sick f*ing pervert may have had if he peaked in on his daughter (which i imagine was a common occurrence her whole life, ew) and found the husband there next to "his property." I seriously wouldn't put it past someone so sick and deranged to just lose all control and attack one or both, or god forbid he has a gun. It also seems like everytime the parents were "in a mood" the mother was fighting her husband over his twisted obsession with op. The mom isn't a good person but they need to get her out of there, the husband will blame her for losing all contact with his infatuation.

[@lorifiedler13]

#1 Op doesn't need to be better for anyone but herself. Go NC w dad. That may mean going NC w mom. OP needs to take care of herself first so she can be a good wife and mom.

[@GBunnyG]

Right as I needed a Mark video. 😊

[@angelgirl360]

i just went into the first story oh like its alright but now I've downed half a bottle of vodka and still don't feel as numb as i need too

[@lorifiedler13]

#2 glad to hear OP is starting divorce process.

[@fate_clotho9596]

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse that happened from between the ages of 3-6 years old, by an immediate male family member. I'm the youngest of three girls, and the sad thing is? He'd already abused my older sisters. He'd get wasted on alcohol and high on crack cocaine, (found out from my oldest sister that he'd free base crack cocaine in one of the bathrooms. She said one night she went to the bathroom to use it, and he'd left the blow torch sitting on the counter near the sink. Still lit and flaming hard), and if his party buddies were passed out, preoccupied, (we had a very large house that my mom, an architect, had specifically designed and built for us. Party would be downstairs in the solarium near the indoor hot tub, where there was a wall of Windows leading out to a large deck with an out for hot tub and we were on a literal mountainside, going into the big screen TV room, large kitchen, etc. We had our rooms and our own bathroom and shower and tub on the second floor, third floor had a playroom), or maybe they'd left? I don't know because I've repressed a lot. My oldest sister, who we lost to suicide in August of 2019 remembers EVERYTHING. Which breaks my heart. The middle sister remembers nothing and denies, denies, denies. But we all got drunk one night and she apologized to me for not protecting me, the baby, because it'd happened to her, too.😞😥 Where I, the youngest and last survivor of his, (he was forced into detox and inpatient rehab. Was successfully sober for over 30yrs when he died), only remember bits and pieces. And only started to remember when I was about six months pregnant and started having nightmares about this exact family member chasing me down and trying to rape me and I'd wake myself up because I was screaming out loud irl. I went out to lunch with my mom and oldest sis, mentioned my horrifying nightmares after my sis asked if my dreams were more vivid with the baby on board. ALL the color drained from my mom's face and my sis said; "She has a right to know the truth, Mom." So I know that numb feeling OP was describing. My therapist said it was shock. At least for me, it was. An But I wonder what the reason was that OP went no contact with her parents for the first time?

[@AlE-kc7yw]

S2: I got a job 7.5 hours (away from my wife and kids) and drove up every Friday, at least 7 out of every 8 weeks, and drove back every Sunday late night, for 1.5 years until they joined me

[@user92248]

Oh my God. The father SAed her. And she didn't even know but her mother knew and didn't protect her. OmGod!!!!!

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: The last comment OP left was heartbreaking. People on Reddit are constantly asking for information that has no baring on the question/advice. It's sickening.

[@kristinecollier8113]

All right, she should not have had to say what she never wanted to in the first place!! I really hate people sometimes!! Someone is looking for help and they just get shit on! Nice going Reddit!!

[@RandomTrinidadian]

Remember, bullies dont change. OP "parents" are shining examples of that. Her only mistake, was giving them a chance they were not entitled too

[@synren2851]

S1: Dang well it's good op is nc with the umm dad. He is a freak. I hope she gets the help she needs to get over this and her dh and his family sound amazing. I hope everything ends up great for her in the future.

[@melcat5606]

OP in story 1 going numb; that is a common trauma response in a person who has survived childhood trauma. Therapy would be a very good next step.... Edit: I speak from personal experience and 20+ years of therapy...

[@kingsevil5255]

1st story: Knew it was creepy sexual shit with the father. KNEW IT.

[@katiesmith2031]

Hi Mark thanks for the video hope you and poppy are having a wonderful evening goodnight and sweet dreams much love 💙

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Sleep well m8, much love 💜💜🤗🤗

[@katiesmith2031]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 Thank you broken I will. Hope you are having a wonderful evening goodnight and sweet dreams much love 💙

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 much love m8 hopefully you get lots of rest💜💜🤗🤗

[@minxilly1575]

Ohy my GOD, I swear I had that thought being incestuosly creepy but was like "No way" and then THAT HAPPENED!

[@bonniebaldridge1248]

OMG, I hope OP did NOT let heer a-hole husband back. My ex pulled the SAME SHIT on me....while still carrying on with The Other Woman. Yecch

[@fhuber7507]

2... Why did OP even consider that guy for more than 5 minutes?